You had me at finger guns.
2 Likes
Team: Clutch Droppers
Day 2: 10-noon
Driving down the 101 after our stop at Seal Rock was uneventful, but it was a lovely day for a drive. Shortly after passing Coos Bay and Bunk Hill, OR we began to hear a loud car engine over the sound of our, admittedly old and weak, car stereo. Due to the winding nature of the road we could not tell where the sound was coming from at first, but after we hit a realativly straight section we could make out a black car coming up behind us, fast. Little did we know that we were currently down-wind of team FFC.
Bob: Shit, I think that’s the Fat Cannon team, how is everyone catching us so easily today?! Sure we are making more stops, but I’m not exactly driving like a saint either!
Jason: Do you guys smell something? Is there something wrong with our car?
Ryan: I smell it too, smells like a natural gas leak… mixed with a dead animal… did we hit something?
Bob: Not that I know of… god, it’s getting worse!
Team FFC’s car finally caught up to us, engine roaring, signaling its flat-out state. As their car began to pass us, ON THE RIGHT… you bastards, the smell became so intense our eyes were watering. The car slowed slightly as the back window rolled down, thinking they might be pulling alongside to tell us what the smell was Jason rolled down the rear window as well. The smell increased ten fold, and Bob began crying as his body reacted to such an intense burning, far worse than military grade pepper spray. Before anyone in the car could react, Strop’s rear-end had appeared in the window of the other team’s car. At the exact same moment a lighter appeared in his hand we realized what the smell was, as impossibly bad as it was… we knew. Bob slammed the brakes just as the lighter ignited and wave of fire washed over the front of our car, thankfully reducing the smell, if only to replace it with the smell of burned shit and ass-hair. At least it was not noxious.
Bob: HOLY CHRIST, how was that even possible??? Does that guy just produce pure methane??
Jason: Rolling the other rear window down and trying to cover his face with his shirt JESUS, I’M BLIND!!!
Ryan: I’ve smelled worse… but not by much…
Bob: That’s it, I’m tired of this monotonous drive, they are going to rue this day!
Flooring the pedal, the car hesitated for almost two seconds before mercifully downshifting sending the car’s turbo screaming. As we edged over 130mph, team FFC’s car came back into view just before another turn in the road. As we closed on their vehicle the smell started to increase again, but to combat it Ryan pulled a handful of air fresheners out of the glove box, hanging about 6 on the rearview mirror and each of us hanging 2 over our noses. The road began to bend around to the right, getting sharper and sharper forcing us to slow down, but we were still gaining on FFC.
Bob: Come on, just a little more speed. We almost have them!
Suddenly ahead the road took a sharp left turn, we were still traveling over 100mph and the brakes were not exactly exceptional on the Bil, forcing Bob to cut clear to the other side of the road and even onto the burm, even though we were hard on the brakes, in order to navigate the turn. Feeling emboldened by the high speed cornering Bob was back on the gas trying to close the final few yards of gap to team FFC. They had obviously been surprised the Bil had made it through the corner at the speeds both teams were traveling and punched the gas trying to outrun us. Taking the corner at speed gave us the advantage as the gap continued to close. We were approaching the top speed of the Bil as the road made gentle curves to the right and left, but Bob was determined and was taking all of the road in order to keep the Bil’s understeer in check. Luckily there had been no other cars on the road for the last few minutes, or there could have been a major accident.
As we pulled alongside of team FFC Jason and Ryan flipped them off. Strop glanced over and unpon seeing us wearing air-fresheners on our faces began laughing so loud we could hear him in our car, over the sound of both engines. He was visibly crying and starting to looked panicked as he could not breath over his laughter. Unluckily, the Bil’s temperature gauge passed into the red at this point and power suddenly dropped off, team FFC’s car began to pull away. This was a good thing however as the road suddenly became most twisty and the Bil was already having trouble slowing down due to brake fade and over-heated tires. The car continued to lose power as we came into sight of Brandon, OR and by time we had crossed the bridge into town the car was struggling to get above 30mph. We pulled off the highway and into a large, mostly empty parking lot for a large market called Ray’s Food Place. As we came to a stop in the parking lot we suddenly realized there was smoke coming from the engine, and not white steamy smoke like we expected from an over-heated radiator, but black smoke. Popping the hood and quickly running around to the front of the car Bob saw the air filter in flames
Bob: WHAT THE HELL??? GET THE EXTINGUISHER!!!
Ryan ran around to the trunk of the car and pulled out a small emergency extinguisher. Running back to the front of the car he let loose on the engine bay, quickly smothering the flames.
Bob: Good lord, I think that flame attack set the oil infused air filter on fire. They could have killed us!
Jason: Because your fucking driving wasn’t going to kill us!!
Ryan: I have to agree, I love to go fast, but Jesus, I swear I saw the speedometer hit the end of the gauge at one point!
Bob: We had to catch them… just to show them they arn’t the only fast ones… it was a matter of pride!
Ryan: Well… it looks like the air filter itself is ok, just a little charred and I’m sure the engine isn’t very happy. Let’s get lunch and let the car cool off a while.
Bob: Fine, but after we leave here we are going balls to the wall, I am tired of losing ground after all the extra driving we did yesterday.
Jason: Looking at the GPS Looks like there is a Dairy Queen! Let’s GO!!!
After a quick stop in the DQ drive-through we took our food and headed down the road to Kronenberg Park to enjoy the beautiful weather and delicious food. We left all the windows down on the car and were pleased to find the car smelled of “ocean breeze” when we returned. As we left Brandon we made a quick stop at “76”, a gas station we had never heard of before. As we left Brandon we agreed it was time to up our aggressiveness, we wanted to win more than ever after suffering that chemical weapon and flamethrower attack, both of which we were sure were against the Geneva Convention.
Morale: +13 (Morale increased from chasing down Team FFC and detoxing in Brandon, OR.)
Fatigue: +1 (Stopped for lunch and enjoyed the seaside park in Brandon, OR.)
11 Likes
Alright, now I’m laughing so hard I’m crying…
2 Likes
Must not start laughing… At work…
Good sport, great sport in fact. Kai is pleased to have a high speed Chase.
P.s. bonus points for apt DragonForce title 
2 Likes
Team BAGS
Brian’s notes for this leg:
We finally made it to Seal Rock, having stopped at the Oregon Coast Aquarium along the way. While there, we were absolutely blown away by the sheer number of species on display in captivity there. In particular, Gary was drawn to the largest creatures such as the manta rays. Stephanie, on the other hand, preferred the smaller, more colorful coral reef species. It was definitely an experience none of us will ever forget!
Later, we heard that one of the teams had been arrested and was eliminated on the spot, while another had dropped out due to car troubles. We seem to have lucked out by abiding all traffic laws and picking a mechanically sorted car for this trip…
4 Likes
##Team Twin-Snail
Luke asked Linda to check how far they were from the Oregon Coast Aquarium while they continued onward, the engine on the old Minerva growling fiercely as they made their way down the highway.
“At our current speed? About two hours.” Linda replied.
“Luke, get us there before 12:00, please.” Amy said. Luke’s response was to apply a little more gas, bringing the car up to about 75 miles per hour, only to lose that speed the first time they had to corner. By now, the brakes had started screeching each time they were applied, and the squirmy braking became even worse.
“Well, now we should get there about 11:30. So, how are we going to do this?” Linda asked.
“My guess, the three of us get to wander around while Luke fixes the car.” Scott replied. “We all know Luke doesn’t like water.”
“As I’ve said, it’s because I sink in water, and I have no means of getting out of said water once I’ve sunk, other than to walk and hope I can climb my way out of it.” Luke said.
Team Twin-Snail swooped into the Oregon Coast Aquarium parking lot at 11:27 AM, and Luke put the car in park.
As Scott, Amy, and Linda got out of the car and started stretching their legs, Luke got out and headed straight for the trunk. As he removed the newly added boxes of brake rotors and brake pads, he saw something hiding under the mat covering the spare tire. He settled the boxes on the roof of the car, then lifted the mat.
“Found it!” Luke exclaimed, making Amy, Linda, and Scott all jump.
“The fuck, Luke!? Wha’d you find that’s worth scaring the hell out of us?” Scott asked after recovering from the startle.
Luke held up roughly 1.5 meters of cable, with a 16-pin OBD-II socket at one end, and a 25-pin parallel-style connector at the other. “My OBD-II Diagnostics cable.”
“Where was it?” Linda asked.
“Under the spare tire cover.”
“Oh. My bad.” Amy said. “You designed it to work with Storm Automotive RDS-38 scanners, and I couldn’t find a cable long enough to reach the back of that Galaxy that came in, the one that had the fuel pump problems.”
“So you put it back under the spare tire cover?” Luke asked.
“No, I threw it back in the trunk while the cover was out because Scott insisted on reupholstering it.”
“Hey, it looked like someone had spilled cola all over it, so I had to do something.” Scott said, trying to defend himself.
“Doesn’t matter. You three, go wander around and look at fish and sharks and things. Let me fix the brakes so we can justify doing 100 down the highway.”
As Linda, Amy, and Scott wandered into the Aquarium, Luke settled in for a good hour of changing brake pads and the rotors. “These ones are completely out of friction material, and it’s gacked the rotor.” he said, removing the driver’s side front brake pads and disc. He replaced the rotor, then the pads, and moved his way to the passenger side front brake assembly. “Not much better. Very low on friction material, this rotor’s going in our spares, it’s still straight and true.”
At Noon, Luke had managed to put the wheels back on the front of the Minerva, set the car back on the ground, and was busy moving to hoist the rear end off the ground to fix the rear brakes.
Aftermath
Car: Brake Job is 50% complete. (Luke’s note: I hate rust-stuck brake rotors. They’re hard to get off without risking pulling the car off of the jack.) Front brake rotors and pads replaced. Rears remaining.
Team:
Luke is currently relaxing by repairing the cars brakes.
Amy is wandering around looking for a gift shop.
Scott is getting told off for tapping on the shark tank. Again. For the third time.
Linda is looking at all the fish and… Oh. Now she’s hungry. Looks like it’ll be a snack raid in the car.
MRL +15 (+2) Fish and Sharks and Lobsters, oh my!
FTG -2 (+1) “I’m hungry! Can we get some fish later?”
6 Likes
##Team Artiseros
#10 am - 11 am
Ernie:Jesus, the car is getting louder and slower.
Aldren: Well lets just ignore and hope it kinda goes away.
Ernie: Lets hope…
(But The problem kept getting worse and worse until they decided to throw the towel and and stop along the shore of Woahink Lake.)
Ernie:Ateri and Aldren go and check the engine please.We probably dont want to stop now.
(An hour of engine inspection has passed by and found the problem)
Ateri: I think the problem is that the gasket had a complete failure.
Ernie (angry inside): SHIT!.Calm down Breathes in and out
Aldren:So your saying Ernie?
Ernie: Shut up!
Ateri: Stop fighting,it doesnt solve anything.
Ernie: Your right.
(trio eerily have silence)
Ernie: For our first grand tour,it was really interesting.But it was probably my mistake for having an underpowered 70’s car.
Aldren: I suppose i can agree to that.
Ernie:Well we should go get a cab and probably book a hotel room somewhere and flight tickets to Italy.
#Final Stats
Fatigue: -1 (still refreshed)
Morale: +8 (-4) (frustation and stress)
4 Likes
Team Bamford
Our heros made great time after Phils cheese pitstop with the inline 3 running on song and the world just going right in general.
Phil was steadfastly rocking the wheel between his hands to keep the car on the road, with sunglasses on and a cigarette held between his fingers in his right hand, he was looking seriously “cool” except he couldn’t see because it wasn’t that clear of a day and he wasn’t allowed to light the smoke because the team wouldn’t let him, but he knew that he was cool.
“Pass me one of those house bricks” he called out to no-one in particular
Jason reached into the boot, using the Advance’s handy folding rear seat system and returned with a lone brick.
“They told me back in '92 that it was a stupid idea to fold the rear seats down, but it just paid off” smirked Ken
Phil blindly reached backwards and seized the brick, awkwardly swinging it into the drivers footwell and with a mere moment of adjustment, dropped the brick on the throttle.
“Cruise control doesn’t work” he said.
“But what if you need to stop in a hurry?” asked Simon
“Relax” smiled Phil “There’s nothing that’s gonna slow us down!”
An Hour Later
In his 70-odd years of life, Ken had never seen anyone eat a cigarette before, he’d seen his mates smoke a lot of them, but never purposefully eat one out of frustration, or go back for seconds for that matter, to stop Phil from giving himself a stomach ache the team relented, rolled the windows right down, cranked the AC and let Phil smoke, one cigarette at first and then two in the vain hope that he’d calm down.
No such luck.
The object of the English/Indian team’s scorn was a line of cars, about 3/4 mile of cars, headed by a 4x4 that had never been dirty, a few saloons and a smokey, black Dodge Monaco.
“Never trust a driver with a hat on, nine times outta ten they’re too old to drive” muttered Phil
“Dude, both of them are wearing hats” called out Jason
“And?”
“We’re tailing the Blues Brothers!”
Ken laughed along with his grandson, but that was about it, Simon had decided to be even more silent than usual and Phil was stubbing his cigarettes out in the ashtray, he saw a gap coming up and planted his foot even harder into the carpet.
Nothing.
The Inline 3 could move the car, sure and with a bit of coaxing could keep them at 55mph, but that was about it, any highway pulls while the car was in top gear were futile and the soggy automatic was designed solely to move the car with no thought given to performance.
Phil dragged the shifter back to “2” and was met with the same grinding that he found when they’d unloaded the car yesterday, so he went back to “D” and began fuming again.
“45mph” said Simon, checking his phone’s GPS “Can you go any faster?”
Phil swore and went back to glaring straight ahead and within the next hour the rest of the team joined him too.
Eventually they came to a sign pointing towards a golf course and a majority of the cars turned off, leaving the Bamford with the Dodge Monaco and a sedan further up the road.
Phil smiled and put his foot down again when the Dodge, with a loud roar, suddenly squatted down, hoisting it’s front wheels towards the air and it disappeared in a cloud of tyre smoke…
“Well” said Ken “they seemed to be in more of a hurry than us”
“Must be on a mission from God” replied Jason.
7 Likes
TEAM OUTRIDERS
(Blake, Marc, and Luigi sing along.)
Luigi: I gotta piss again.
Blake: Jesus! how much time are we gonna lose while you gotta piss? Looks like Marc was right about all that damn coffee.
Marc: Well, this time won’t be too much of an issue. We’re running on fumes here.
Blake: Again? How?
Marc: Oh, maybe when you crammed a big block V8 into a 5000 pound car. Not to mention while the car does haul ass, it’s not exactly geared optimally.
Blake: Well, we had a deadline and only a truck in the backyard, we did what we could.
Luigi: Why didn’t they put the 432 in the Enforcers from the beginning?
Blake: They fell out of favor as a performance engine in the early '70s. Due to CAFE and emissions standards. By the time the '90s came around, small blocks were more than up to the job. Case and point, this car is actually slower than the original configuration.
Marc: At least she handles like a dream.
Blake: Speak of the devil.
Marc: A county mountie!
Luigi: Hey, that looks like the guys from one of the other teams in the back!
Blake: I wonder what that was about?
Marc: Safe bet they’re out of the competition, at least I assume getting arrested is grounds for disqualification. Anyway, we’re closing in on Coos Bay, we’ll stop for gas and a bathroom break. We should also consider what we want to do for lunch.
Blake: Should be a park or something, we’ve got enough to make lunch in the car, we should take some time to stretch our legs.
Marc: Good idea.
8 Likes
Team DMV Speed Stars
After many hours of general fuckery mostly involving blasting speed metal near minivans and school buses filled with small children in the hopes of scaring the little ones and arguing over which was the most stylish, the 3 came to one conclusion. That a game of some sort was necessary to prevent highway hypnosis from taking its toll.
Dennis: I don’t know how truckers do this shit for a living.
Felix: Wouldn’t be so bad if somebody hadn’t objected to bringing a coffee maker.
glares at Ethan, who is napping in the 3rd row
Dennis: Speaking of, haven’t heard much from James May back there.
Felix glances over and sees that he was reading reviews of the Volkswagen 2 liter turbo.
Felix: Figures. Gathering ammo for a future gunfight.
Dennis: Nothing interesting?
Felix attempts to sift through Ethan’s laptop, but only finds his Steam account and a bunch of old schoolwork. He sends a few old essays to himself for potential future use. Other than that, nothing.
Felix: He did just get me an A in english.
Dennis: First chance we get, send it here.
Felix and Dennis stare ahead and conjure up ways to torment Ethan as he sleeps.
5 Likes
One final note…
There should be no ass hair in those fumes.
Just saying 
3 Likes
As if owning a Saminda didn’t cause him enough trouble
4 Likes
Team ‘Routed…’
Unaware of the noxious gases fuming between the teams caught up in a straight fight ahead. Team 'Routed...' continued their climb from the bottom of the pack.
Dan wasn’t feeling right. Maybe he did overdo it with the breakfast. He felt a shiver down his spine. Something stuck him like a bolt of lightning. The drive must have been getting to him. Brought up some bad memories. A time he’d rather forget one fateful day. Driving his recalled Saminda home that fateful night. Smoke billowing out of the engine and filling the cabin right in the heart of peak Sydney traffic. He caused another jam delaying even more traffic. It was awful. But thankfully, in this case, the Maesima only suffered a minor fault and team could push on.
In fact, as the team passed the aquarium they spotted what seemed to be Team Twin-Snail. It sure looked like their 98 Minerva Midnight. One of them…seemed to be checking the tyres.
“Hey, guy! Isn’t that the twin-snaill team car?” Dan boomed. Alerting Sam from his now somewhat charged and indeed still charging phone.
“Whoa, I think it is…” Sam said looking up from the device. “Awesome, we’re not last!”
Mitch stirred from his slumber. “Wha-What’s all this about…”
By the time Mitch finally gained control of his senses. The the aquarium had long passed. He wondered what all the commotion was about waking him from his well-earnt rest. Something about a broken down car or team. He only caught a glimpse. But…that man was working on the car with such speed and efficiency. He almost seemed kind of like a machine…? No I must of still been day dreaming Mitch thought. Oh Why’d I give up my soft cloud memory bed at home. Plus all those holidays for this…At least, it wasn’t that bone shaking NV-993.
Still, things were looking a little brighter for the group now. They had one less team to worry about catching up too. Time to crank on the radio. It was blaring out something unbearably monotonous… Trump is or that…ugh is there no escape. Thankfully the Maesima came with cassette tape deck. Dan clicked in one of the many tapes that was inexplicably lying around the cabin.
Driving down these lovely winding roads as the sun appears from behind the clouds. All their worries disappeared as the music boomed. Everything sure felt like sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.
5 Likes
You do realize once we pass you again, it will be with all the subtlety of a diesel locomotive.
1 Like
The way things have been going we’ll be lucky if we’re still under our own power when that happens 
1 Like
team 1'); drop table participants; --
Introduction | PreviouslySaturday, 8am-noon
Da Wei is noticably getting a bit bored after his usb full of his music was broken, and the radio stations are all junk. According to him. That is when, suddenly a yellow speck is showing on the rear view mirror, and is noticeably getting bigger, and bigger, until it can be clearly seen, that it’s the Cowys team car.
Da Wei : so. Hurtling towards us like that. It seems they want some revenge. Shall we stand by and see what they’re gonna try and want to do?
Frank: Haha. Let’s wait and see.
The yellow car keeps getting bigger and bigger, and closer, and even closer, and…… a bit too close.
Da Wei: a bit too close…. I guess their driver is just that confident then
Suddenly a silenced engine roar was heard. Roooooooooooaaaannnng. While the yellow car pulls away with all it’s might and tapping our rearview mirror in the process.
Silence…… we both looked at each other. And then bursted out in laughter
BOTH: BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Both laughed so hard until their belly hurts. They were preparing themselves for something really bad. Da Wei, still driving, could barely keep the wheel straight, so the car wobbled just a little
Da Wei: That’s it?? That was their revenge plan? That was…. Underwhelming to say the least. Hahahahaha it barely made us flinch. They don’t know what’s in here do they? The sound deadening here is amazing!
Frank : Haha. They’re still ahead of us though.
Despite us trying to keep up the pace, the Gamma gains more and more of a distance.
Da Wei: huh. Foot flat to the floor. Are we losing power? There’s no engine check li…… oh…. The engine temp is up there. We’ve been pushing this car too for too long. It’s a 40yo radiator after all. And on that case, also ourselves.
Frank: Oh, crap. So let’s take it easy for a while.
Da Wei : look it up on the GPS. any place within an hour or a bit that has good food and a place to take a nap?
Frank: There’s this town coming up, Newport. We’ll have to refuel as well so lets take a quick stop there. I can then take the wheel for a while if you like.
Da Wei : how far?
Frank: Only a couple miles. We should be there in a few minutes.
Da Wei: Sure. but for now. I’m gonna go under the speed limit for once….
Minutes later, in Newport, while Da Wei refueled the car and let it cool down for a while, Frank went to get some Pizza for them both to eat. When Frank came back, the car was already parked on the side of the gas station and Da Wei were already fast asleep on the passenger seat, but waken up when Frank came back.
Frank: Here. Got us something to eat. Let’s share it, four slices each.
A slice of pizza in hand, Frank slowly continued on driving.
Morale: +1 (+6 total)
Fatigue: +3 (+7 total)
5 Likes
Legend of Terms:
TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.
Saturday, Noon - 2pm
Weather Conditions: 68 degrees. Mostly sunny. Traffic on the highway is picking up; it’s a lovely weekend day.
All vehicles are on US101 South.
Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Any POI you can find/message me about between Eureka, CA and San Francisco, CA.
Next Waypoint(s): Bullards Beach, OR, Humboldt Botanical Garden, Eureka, CA, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA.
VicVictory:
TBDC: 110 mi OD: 709 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@Fayeding_Spray
TBDC: 112 mi OD: 818 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: This team is now in California.
@Madrias
TBDC: 92 mi OD: 619 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Seal Rock. Brake repair is complete and issue is resolved.
@BobLoblaw
TBDC: 57 mi OD: 768 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +0 Notes: Team has stopped for an hour for food and rest at Harris Beach State Park, a few minutes after noon.
@CriticalSet9849
TBDC: 109 mi OD: 675 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Refueled in Coos Bay, OR. Car’s terrible comfort is starting to wear on the team.
@BailsMackenzie
TBDC: 104 mi OD: 754 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: Team has refueled in Sixes, OR.
@TheBobWiley
TBDC: 109 mi OD: 759 mi MRL: -1 FTG: +1 Notes: The car has developed an intermittent but significant misfire and a SES light.
@DeusExMackia
TBDC: 91 mi OD: 718 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Alternator repair is complete.
@HighOctaneLove
TBDC: 124 mi OD: 752 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach
@strop
TBDC: 92 mi OD: 776 mi MRL: -10 FTG: +3 Notes: Left front ball joint fails, leading to a crash. No injuries on the team, but the car is undrivable. Overall Morale at the end: -2 (Crashes are scary)
@stm316
TBDC: 120 mi OD: 780 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: None.
@JohnWaldock / @Sillyducky
TBDC: 103 mi OD: 715 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@abg7
TBDC: 119 mi OD: 699 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Team has refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@rileybanks
TBDC: 125 mi OD: 756 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach.
@koolkei / @FrankNSTein
TBDC: 114 mi OD: 834 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: Team is feeling fatigued. Team is now in California.
@Rk38
TBDC: 111 mi OD: 646 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullard Beach. Team has refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@Nomade0013 / @ramthecowy
TBDC: 110 mi OD: 839 mi MRL:+0 FTG: +3 Notes: Team is now in California.
@SkylineFTW97
TBDC: 97 mi OD: 704 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Team has refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
The following cars are within visual range or in a pack:
None.
Team Greasy Lightning
(a few miles past Bullards Beach)
Jen sniffed at the air, trying to ensure herself that something terrible had indeed replaced the smell of ocean air. She was then aware that Fuzz was rustling around in the back seat.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Making a sandwich. I’m hungry,” he replied.
“A sandwich? With what? We didn’t bring any sandwich fixings.”
Fuzz scoffed. “You went to college, I’m sure you had to make up food out of random stuff.”
“Well what the hell do you have?”
“PBJ. Sorta.”
“Sorta?” she was almost afraid to ask.
“Granola bars for the bread. A couple packets of jam I took from the hotel this morning. And this jar of peanut butter stuff that those Aussies gave us.”
Peanut butter? She thought a moment too late.
Fuzz bit into his “sandwich”. His eyes shot wide and his entire face puckered up. Yet he still chewed it, and forcefully swallowed it.
“Oh god, it tastes like vulcanized butthole!”
Both Jen and Rick looked back at him in astonishment.
“What?” Rick choked. “How do you…”
“No, don’t ask,” Jen interrupted. “For God’s sake, don’t ask.”
Despite the obvious culinary pain he was suffering, Fuzz took another bite.
“Dear God, what’s wrong with you? Stop it!” Rick snapped.
“But it’s free food!”
Rick snatched the jar from Fuzz’s possession. “Vegemite. Oh you poor idiot…”
Fuzz finished off the last bite.
“… I stand corrected. You masochistic idiot…”
8 Likes
#Team ‘Southend or Bust’
Original Post - Previous Post
The story so far: With the alternator broken, the boys have been held up in Coos Bay. Thankfully however, the best student mechanic on the planet (probably) is here to help them…
The clinking of the ratchet stopped, and Martin took his head out of the engine bay. “Alright Seb, fire her up”.
The 1.6l i4 rumbled a bit, paused, and then burst back into life. All three of them cheered.
“Good job mate” said James, patting him on the back. “I’ll buy you something as a present”
“Nah, nah, we need to get on the road” Martin replied, but James was already running into the petrol station shop.
A few minutes later, he came back out again with a plastic bad and a grin on his face.
“What have you got me then?” Martin said sarcastically. James handed him the bag.
“Ahh” Martin laughed, uneasily, “Ha ha, Blueberry Pancake Corn Dogs. Very nice, thank you”
“Well we had to get something weird while we were here” said James, chirpily.
“I supposed we did”
“What about lunch though?” Seb asked.
“Good question my man” James replied, grabbing a cool bag that was next to him. “I have leftover chicken, mayo and salad sandwiches!”
“Goddamit man you are good” said Seb, taking his. Having had chicken drum sticks for dinner last night, James was not going to let any of the remainders go to waste.
And with that, they hit the road once more.
.
With no one else in sight now, they presumed they were probably in the middle of the pack. Still, that didn’t matter; they had the windows open, the Pacific to their right and a proper American road to blast down. And even if the Merna wasn’t a speed machine, they could still get up to an incredible speed of 55 mph.
BIG UP EVERYONE THAT GET’S THAT REFERENCE
And once again, their soundtrack wasn’t half bad either.
“I’m telling you, this is most amazing drive I’ve ever done” said Martin, now behind the wheel again.
“I’m with you there” said James. They soon forgot about the hold up in Coos Bay; this was turning into a properly amazing holiday for them.
“Can’t say these corn dogs are very nice James” said Martin.
James pretended to be offended. “What? American food that isn’t nice? Shocking!”
“Well some American food is nice” said Seb. “The chocolate bars, sorry, candy bars here are nice”
“But come on, the cuisine is terrible in the grand scheme of things” said James.
“Oh no, are you about to go food snob on us?” said Martin.
“Yes I am Martin, yes I am. How can a country with access to so many food types and so many people living in it come up with such trashy food?”
“Well, hang on, you cooked us that Jambalaya a few months back and you said you loved it?”
James paused. “OK, the majority of American cuisine is rubbish, but food from the deep south is quite nice”
“Come come James, are you suggesting you of all people don’t like a proper cheese burger?” said Martin.
“Er, no” he retorted “I’m saying I like my burger to be a proper English pub one that’s been made with actual cow innards and not processed meat from some factory farm”
“It still tastes good though, doesn’t it?” entered Seb.
“No, no, I’m sorry, American cooking doesn’t have anywhere near the finesse of European cooking or the excitement of Asian food or the warmth of Afro-Caribbean stuff”
Martin and Seb paused, and then started laughing.
“What?” James replied, getting a little hot under the collar?
“You sound like you’re in some fucking cooking show or a food magazine!” said Seb, smacking the map against the dashboard as he laughed.
“Well…” - James was blushing now - “Maybe that’s what I want to do with my life”
The other two stopped. “Wait, seriously?” said Seb.
“Yeah” said James, as though it should have been obvious. “I’d love to be a TV chef”
“Wow” said Seb, surprised. “That’s quite a nice ambition”
“Seriously, I would. I love cooking and I love showing people how to cook”.
“Good for you man” said Martin.
It was weird how well they knew one another and yet how little they knew about another too. If you met James, you wouldn’t guess in a million years that he wanted to be a celebrity chef. He may well have fitted the typical description for a lad, but there was far more too him than that.
6 Likes
Team BAGS
Brian’s notes for this leg:
Having made it to Bullards Beach in one piece, we are increasingly confident that we will finish this trip. Morale is now at an all-time high. En route, we heard a disturbing rumor that another team has crashed out. Amy suggested that it was due to a suspension failure, but until we discover the crash site, we’ll never know for certain. On a more positive note, refueling went ahead as usual, with no problems at all.
2 Likes
Team: Clutch Droppers
Day 2: noon-2pm
Traffic begins to pickup after leaving Brandon and the two-lane road is making it difficult to pass. After our encounter with team FFC we are bound determined to drive the car into the ground in an attempt to gain some ground back today. A little while outside of Brandon we were cruising along the 101 waiting for a gap in oncoming traffic so we could jump ahead a few cars. There was a beige 80’s land-yacht traveling a solid 15mph under the posted limit that we HAD to get around. Finally, a break in the traffic and nice long stretch of road with no blind corners, we went for it.
BANG, BANG, sputtering noises
Bob: O god, what now? Misfires??
Ryan: I bet that flame attack did a bit more damage than we thought. Probably a fouled spark plug or two, the air filter might be done for as well.
Jason: Please don’t tell me it’s going to kee…
BANG!!
As the car finally passed the little old man driving his beige behemoth the car shuddered and misfired again
Bob: We are gonna have to stop and get that checked out… but I really want to get to Eureka before we stop, we need to make up some time from all the stops this morning.
Jason: This is going to drive me in…
BANG!!, more sputtering
Bob: At least we are maintaining highway speeds.
Day 2: ~2:30pm
Bob was driving aggressively down the 101, looking for any chance to pass that he could.
Bob: Do you guys smell that? It’s that damn Fart team, we must be catching up to them. I bet they got stuck in traffic, serves them right.
As we come around a bend in the road, stuck behind a slow moving vehicle we saw a grave site, the Flaming Fart Cannon’s super hot hatch was embedded in the dirt off the side of the road. The entire front left side was destroyed and obviously hit the dirt at speed. It looked as if the car had tried to dig itself a shallow grave.
Ryan: Such a magnificent car, it was too young…
Bob: Tearing up a bit You maniacs… you blew it up!! Damn you!! God damn you all to hell!!
Luckily the entire FFC team was standing off to the side mourning the loss of their car. Jason grabbed one of the few remaining beers in the rear of the car, opened the back window, and poured one out for our fallen comrades. Then Bob slammed the gas pedal as an opening appeared and with a vicious misfiring, shot off away from FFC whom just looked up and saw us passing them.
Bob: Well, maybe that was a good sign, maybe it means we are destined to prevail!
Ryan: Or it means all these crap cars are on their last legs and we could be next…
Bob: Nobody likes a pessimist…
Ryan reaches over and pulls the aux cable from my phone and plugs it into his.
Morale: +12 (Morale decreases as car begins misfiring)
Fatigue: +2 (No stops)
9 Likes