Things You've Heard Non-Car People Say

Alternatively: Incorrect or stupid things you’ve heard “car people” say.

For example: In my old high school, there was this kid that was a terrible liar. One day he’s talking to somebody and he comes out with some stupid shit like “yeah I installed twin turbos on my Dad’s Mercedes” followed by “yeah I put so much camber on the wheels it’s insane”. This guy’s Dad did not own a Mercedes, and I’m pretty sure the guy had never even touched a spanner in his life.

And then there was that time my Mum called spark plugs light bulbs (totally wasn’t today)…

i’ll go straight to the dumbest. points to alternator “that’s a belt driven turbo”


Heard someone call a 7th gen Celica a 4th gen Supra once, guess they saw the Toyota badge.


Hoooly shit, I can actually relate to this.
I knew a guy who owned a Hyundai Genesis with the 3.8 V6, and basically in that car you have three gauges in the middle of the centre console. He said something related to turbos and I’m like “you know this isn’t turbo right?”. He responds by saying “it wouldn’t have these gauges if it wasn’t turbo” (none of those gauges are related to pressure, he pointed to the torque one saying it’s a boost gauge). I ask him to pop the bonnet and show me, and he does. He points straight to the alternator and is like “there that’s the turbo”. After I explained to him that that’s not where a turbo is meant to sit, you should’ve seen the look of disappointment on his face, as he’d only just bought it and I swear that one of the reasons he bought it was because he thought it was boosted.


Well my friend’s grandma apperantly owns a red sports car. One day he told me it was in his driveway and told me to look. What a cool sports car it was.




Does “Adam I have no brake lights” count?

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How about: What do you mean my 120d is rwd?


The My Summer Car Steam forum is full of these.

“My rear steering linkages disappeared” (rear steering on a Datsun 100A??)
“Why does this air filter not go on after installing the double carburettors?” (trying to fit the stock air filter on top of two carburetors that already have their own air filters on them)
“I can’t switch to reverse, fix this bug” (trying to switch the automatic transmissioned muscle car into reverse without holding the brake pedal)


My dad once texted me saying the carburetor on this truck was missing. But even though he is still old fashioned around such matters, he was mainly saying that in jest. He has blamed my Jeeps electrical issues on a ballast resistor. AMC may have been a little behind but they didn’t use ballast resistors in 1986.

Watch the clip at 2:30

This is definitely something a non car guy would say


James amazing laugh makes it even better.


They didn’t have a ballast resistor, but used a resistive wire that had to be trimmed to length to get the right resistance. I think 86 was the last year that Jeep used that setup as Chrysler bought them out.

If you have the ignition on but not started without the right wire it will burn out the ignition module. I found this out when I had replaced the wiring harness in my 84 Cj and the replacement I bought didn’t have the resistive wire and it burned out a couple of ignition modules before I had figured it out.

That video is honestly one of the funniest on YouTube, if any of you haven’t seen the whole thing I highly suggest you do, solely for James’ Goose laugh


The Romanian sat nav clip is hands down the best video ever

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Having lunch with some family friends who had driven from Sydney to Melbourne (about 700km).

We got delayed actually. Had to call road side assist. Called the nearest guy who was about forty minutes away and he was like so what’s your problem and I said we’ve got a flat tyre. And then there was this long pause, and then he said ‘…and?’

Said friend had this look of bafflement on his face at this point. I did too, but clearly for a different reason :joy:

Me: Didn’t you have a spare and a jack?
Him: Well, yeah, but.
Me: But?
Him: But I don’t know how to change a tyre.

I can only imagine what the roadside assist guy thought.


To pass ur drivers license it should be mandatory to know how to change a tyre and check fluids

not just reverse park


Seen a couple of people who owned 4X4’s who were stuck and had it in two wheel mode. They didn’t know what the other shifter was for.


i don’t remember who. but i remembered talking to someone explaining that a throttle body replaces the carburettor. and he insisted that it’s just a more fancy type of carburettor and then he proceeds to ask me where are the screws to set up the carbs on the throttle body are… (i think we were talking around a small motorbike that had throttle body injection, not port injection)

My friend once asked “Where are the spark-plug wires?”… on a Diesel engine.
The scariest part is that he now owns a Diesel-powered vehicle.


well… doesn’t some diesel engine have glow plugs? that may look like spark plug from the outside. doesn’t it?

(yup i totally sounds like one now aren’t i?)