TMCC14 Reviews Part 2: Test Drives
At a parking lot somewhere in Hollywood…
…All five cars still under consideration were lined up for the stunt drivers to evaluate. Which one would they choose? The stunt team decided to evaluate each car one-by-one in the order they received them by way of a brief test drive around the block and on a variety of roads, as well as on the wide-open tarmac of the Santa Monica Airport.
First up was the Avantii Antifa. It looked promising enough in the ads, and its single-overhead-cam V8 started up with a deep, rousing growl. The stunt drivers were delighted to discover that it got up to speed fairly quickly, but with some caveats: the engine had quite a fair bit of untapped potential. Also, upon closer inspection, the electronic speed limiter cut in somewhat sooner than they liked, although they later found out that removing it only yielded a slight improvement in top speed. And despite the high level of negative front camber, the Antifa exhibited some understeer on the limit, thanks to a 50mm difference between the front and rear tire sizes. It wasn’t catastrophic, but it left the stunt drivers nonplussed, and so they moved on.
Next up was the GSI Caligula. Its mid-mounted, twin-turbo, quad-cam V8 had a more cultured and muted exhaust note compared to the Antifa’s bigger lump, but had a fairly usable torque curve, although with the redline being higher than it should, Weston instructed his stunt drivers to upshift well before then, at 7900 rpm. Heeding his advice, they discovered that the Caligula felt nowhere near as malevolent as its namesake to drive. In fact, it was an exhilarating experience, turning in an excellent all-around performance, and the stunt drivers also felt reassured by the presence of dual airbags. This was now the clear favorite for the lead role - or was it?
A quick drive in the Swanson 937S would yield the answer. This was the only six-cylinder car in the top five, and its engine was horizontally opposed for a low center of gravity. The stunt team praised the normally aspirated flat-six for its smoother power delivery, even though it didn’t have as much grunt. The test drive showed that the Swanson seemed to handle even better than the acclaimed Caligula, mainly because of its pushrod-actuated suspension, but it proved to be no faster off the mark, and required more skill to get the most out of it. Nevertheless, it was the closest rival to the Caligula yet, and was as much of a contender.
Climbing out of the Swanson and into the Munot Starkwind RS provided a surprising contrast. It had a more contemporary and less futuristic look than the Swanson, and its transverse inline-5 had an unmistakable exhaust note, but despite only having just over 250 horsepower, it proved to be no slouch in a straight line. The stunt drivers found out that the 4-piston brakes on all four wheels were very effective, although considering the engine’s modest power output (and potential for just over 20 more with some tuning), it seemed like overkill. The dynamics were at least on par with the other two mid-engined cars, but it felt trickier on the limit at times. Overall, the Starkwind was a tempting proposition, but one that fell short in a few key areas.
The last car on the shortlist, the Llewellyn Elmira GTX, was also the most powerful (and also the heaviest). Its rev-happy V8 provided plenty of thrust, although its front-engined configuration meant that it couldn’t match the Caligula or 937S for standing-start acceleration. It felt more stable in the corners than either of them, however - too stable at times, in fact. As it turned out, the combination of positive front camber and high negative rear camber produced more understeer than the stunt drivers thought was desirable. Even so, they felt that maybe Mr. Weston had saved the best for last after all… or did he?
That evening, Weston began receiving feedback from the stunt team. After carefully examining the evidence, it was finally time to rank the finalists. Their finishing order was as follows:
5th: The Avantii Antifa Sport V8 looked like a contender at first glance, but squandered its potential thanks to excess understeer and a poorly optimized engine. It was, however, the cheapest of the top five entries, and by some margin - but the stunt team felt they would rather spend more money to get a better car, and the director agreed with them.
4th: Munot had high hopes for its quirky Starkwind RS, but they were ultimately dashed after Mr. Weston found the thought of giving the lead character a sports car with only 5 cylinders (or fewer) to be as potentially off-putting to him as it was to some fans. At least it handled as well as the stunt team expected, and looked quite decent, although some details irked him a bit.
3rd: On looks alone, the Llewellyn Elmira GTX looked like the odds-on favorite coming into the final reckoning, until Mr. Weston found out about its understeer issues stemming from its safe suspension setup and excess tire stagger. They weren’t as severe as those on the Antifa, but ensured that the Elmira could sadly do no better than reach the bottom step of the podium. It’s too good to leave out, though, and it’s eventually given to one of the supporting characters.
2nd: Swanson’s 937S was one of the stunt team’s favorites - it had the razor-sharp handling to match its striking looks, and was one of the faster cars in a straight line. However, it required more skill to extract its full potential, and some of the production staff felt that even the best six-cylinder engines felt a bit ordinary compared to a good V8. As a consolation prize, this one was given to another supporting character.
And so the winner is…
1st: The GSI Caligula, by virtue of being the best all-around choice. The Swanson 937S handled better, and the Llewellyn Elmira GTX had more power, but the Caligula struck the best balance between the two. Moreover, it was the only car in the top 5 (apart from the Starkwind) to feature dual front airbags - a feature that some of the stunt drivers and cameramen appreciated. On top of that, it looked absolutely ace (though not to the same extent as the Elmira), and for that reason, it earned a starring role as T.L. Palmer’s car in Fireball III: To Hell And Back.
Epilogue
When Mr. Weston arrived at the premiere of Fireball III: To Hell and Back in the summer of 1995, driving the exact same red GSI Caligula that had been used for filming, he knew he had made the right decision all those months ago. The film premiered to rave reviews and grossed over 100 million dollars at the domestic box office. It even had its own arcade game (which got ported to PCs and home consoles) and a best-selling line of official merchandise.
7 years later, Jack Weston directed and released Fireball IV: World Tour which had a similar premise, but had a much longer route spanning almost the entire globe - starting with an eastbound leg across America, then another eastbound trip through Europe, followed by a southwest-bound tour of Japan, and finally yet another eastbound run through Australia - with a commensurately larger first-place prize of $100 million dollars. And as expected, T.L. Palmer returned for another adventure behind the wheel.
However, despite being as critically acclaimed as its predecessor, Fireball IV only achieved moderate commercial success, and although the Fireball franchise survived through a reality show that lasted for six seasons from 2003 to 2008, the Great Recession of the late 2000s put an end to the franchise once and for all due to rising production costs. Or did it? In 2018, Jack Weston’s son, Jeremy, began discussing ideas for a fifth film, Fireball V: Reignited, in which he would direct and serve as executive producer. Fans were excited about the fact that it was reverting to the first film’s premise, and despite a months-long pause in production due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the film is on track for a Q4 2022 release.
Congratulations to oppositelock for winning TMCC14!
The other finalists are ranked as follows:
2nd: Ludvig
3rd: vero94773
4th: Quneitra
5th: EnCR
Many thanks to all the entrants - I hope you had as much fun as I did!
