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CSR 96 - It's Rewind Time


#102

I regret to infrom you that i will have to withdraw my potential entry due to rl things that have been happening


#103

Armor Tempas SC… the epitome of the term ‘Douche Rocket’



#104

Just a quick reminder that entries will be closing in just under 6 hours. We are currently standing at around 30 accepted entries.

I’m hoping to get most of the results up tonight in order to have everything finished by the end of tomorrow.


#105


#106

Teuvo I forgot its model



#107

— Thanks to everybody for participating —

Entries are now officially closed. The first round of reviews will be posted within the hour. Good luck!


#108

What According to my clock there’s still half an hour. (GMT+1, as in the first post)


#109

Before this even starts I would like to add a disclaimer. Please note I am writing this as if I am a rather dumb YouTuber that has vocabulary limited to “yo”, “shit”, “bro”, “dude” and that is about it, I’m pretending to have very limited knowledge about cars except for fast ones with big names and the write-ups are not going to be even close to the standard I usually do simply due to the nature of the client.

If you want further information as to why your car was rejected or accepted, because it is likely that if you were rejected it’s going to just be a very stern “no” with no information whatsoever, please don’t get salty and feel free to ask for more feedback as to why your car was viewed in a certain way. If you’re just going to start complaining, I’ll just remind you that you have been warned and you should understand the client better.

Now without any further ado, let’s get this done so I can recover some brain cells.


CSR 96 - The Drives, Day 1

About midday, 2nd December 2018
”The Bropad”, Hollywood Hills, Los Angeles

“It seems that the prayers have been answered as the weather is set to take a turn from the months of endless sunshine and no rain as the forecast shows we have a few days of some serious amounts of rain that should be sufficient to make up for the severe drought of this year…” was blaring out of one of the many TVs within the mansion within which Paul Logan and all of his friends reside. Terrible weather really for testing out massively powerful cars to be added to the garage in reality but surely an ideal test to see what would be suitable.

As the rain continued to hammer down outside, Paul Logan finally rises to set out on the mission of the next few days to find the next car to add to the collection that seemed to be getting ever larger. Finally the chance to buy the ultimate car for himself and maybe even the crew living in “The Bropad”.

Paul Logan: “Yo this weather is fucking shit bro. For real this is gonna make my day hell. But who gives a shit I’m gonna be taking the camera with me to test some fucking awesome cars for all the bros to see. Gonna make a wicked title for today’s video, proper dope shit.”

I feel like I am going to be a mental cripple by the end of this round, send help.

All the camera equipment was collected and a few friends tagged along with Paul Logan to set out to the numerous car dealerships that were allocated for today to test out their best offerings and find the next “brocar”.


Paul Logan: “Yooooooooooooooooo what’s up guys, welcome back to another daily vlog. Back at it again with some more crazy, dope-ass shit for all my bros to enjoy. That’s you amirite. So right now I’m hoppin’ in the Tesla with some of the best bros in the whole entire universe to find the next car. As you probably know by now, I’m a fucking stupid bitch and crashed my old Ferrari into a ditch when I drove it last week so today I’m gonna buy another car. That’s right, it’s time to go car shopping. I’ll be back when we arrive at the first dealer.”


@yangx2 - Honghu 8^8 Heilong Edition

Paul Logan: “Yoooooo… wtf is this communist bullshit dealer we’re going in. I’m an American, this ain’t some North Korea nuke bunker shit.”

a few moments later

Paul Logan: “Yooooo dude this things looks sick. Yo. Bro. Dude. Yo. Let me get inside, this thing looks the shit on the outside. Woah. Nice. Like this makes my Ferrari look like a common person car like some Audi or some shit. That’s a really cheap car right? Maybe not the R8. But yo this car is sick I’m gonna have to drive it.”

The dealer hops into the car with Paul Logan and they head off for a quick test drive

Paul Logan: “Shiiiiiiiiiit. This flies like a military jet man, even in the rain. I thought this would be a beast to control but it is glued to the road holy shit. And yo this sounds dope, bruh. How fast is this?”
Dealer: “Top speed of over 220 mph and 0-60 mph in under 2.5 seconds.”
Paul Logan: “Yo I’ve got to try that now.”
Dealer: “No”
Paul Logan: “Why not?”
Dealer: “It’s wet and we aren’t going to travel at 200+ mph on public roads.”
Paul Logan: “Yeah but like the 0-60”
Dealer: “It’s wet”
Paul Logan: “Yeah but…”
Dealer: “It’s wet you won’t get it to do it that quickly.”
Paul Logan: “Oh. This is sick though. Does it do the stuff my Tesla does like drive itself?”
Dealer: “No”
Paul Logan: “Bruh, you have a thing for saying no don’t you?”
Dealer: “Advanced safety technology isn’t fitted to this vehicle as the creators deemed it wasn’t necessary for a car of this category.”
Paul Logan: “What? Bruh.”

Now back at the dealership, Paul Logan gets out the camera to update his bros and give a verdict on the car.

Paul Logan: “Yo guys we are here at the Hanghoe dealership…”
Dealer: “Honghu”
Paul Logan: “Shit. Honghu. I’ll edit that out. Yo guys we are here at the Honghu dealership and I’ve just driven this absolute beast of a car. Super good looking, super fast, I love it. And this isn’t some Russian communist joke car it is the shit. This could easily be a contender. I think I’ll cut there. I just wish it had some of the stuff my Tesla did to stop me from crashing like what happened in the Ferrari.”

For now, the car is within consideration for Paul Logan, with only the lack of safety features being the only drawback. It isn’t completely through yet, but it is certainly a possibility.


@CMT - Columbus Executive Diamant

Paul Logan: “So I’m now at the Columbus dealership and they’re just getting their best car ready for me to see and…”

a few moments of silence later

Paul Logan: “That… that’s it.”
Dealer: “Yes.”
Paul Logan: “You sure?”
Dealer: “Yes.”
Paul Logan: “Is it ready?”
Dealer: “As in…”
Paul Logan: “Like… is it a finished car?”
Dealer: “Sure. We’ve been selling these for six years.”
Paul Logan: “Si… six years! To who, fucking blind people? I’m sorry bro it looks shit.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Paul Logan grabs the camera and starts filming

Paul Logan: “Yo guys so this is the Columbus something but who cares because it looks terrible, like actual shit. This I ain’t even driving it is that bad.”

And with that being said, Paul Logan left the dealership taking the Columbus off of the list and moving on to the next dealership where hopefully he won’t act an absolute ape around the next dealer yeah as if that is going to change


@fromaj - Haussliech MonteCarlo

Paul Logan: “Yoooooooooo, we’re at the… Houselick? Fuck it who gives a shit, we’re looking at this massive motherfucker over here and when I say massive I mean yuuge. Yo, this is a beast. This could be like the best crew truck, better than anyone else. If they think they’re better they’re bullshitting you, probably make a diss track or some shit. Anyway, look at this motherfucker, it’s big, it’s a truck and I’m gonna drive it.”

Within moments the dealer handed over the keys to the truck and they headed out into the crowded streets along with some extra members of the gang since this was a large truck.

Paul Logan: “Damn this is some good shit I feel like the king of the road. Well, I’m actually the king of YouTube, you know what I’m sayin’. Bro I’m like looking down on everybody making them feel like nothing.”
Dealer: [pretending not to hear anything]
Paul Logan: “I’m gonna boot it.”
Dealer: [rolls eyes]
Paul Logan: “Bro is that it?”
Dealer: “Surely you wouldn’t require more power than what is on offer here?”
Paul Logan: “Yo what’s the 0-60 of this motherfucker.”
Dealer: “Umm… just over 7 seconds.”
Paul Logan: “7. Shit, my nan’s car is faster.”
Bro 1: “Bro, but it is still slower than you in bed.”
All (except dealer): “OooOOoOoooOoOO
Dealer: [completely dead inside]
Paul Logan: “Yeah I’m done here.”

Within moments the everybody was back at the dealership, the dealer regretting the entire day and Paul Logan whips out the camera to update the vlog.

Paul Logan: “Hey yooOoOo guys, so I’ve just got back from driving this giant motherfucking truck which could have been so awesome but this ain’t gonna be the next one.”

And with that being said, the Haussliech was dropped from the potential options.


@Watermelon3878 - Velocita Estrema

Paul Logan: “Yo! I’m back! You missed me right, of course you missed me, please tell me you missed me. Anyway, guys, we are here with the next car and yo this thing looks like it could be a fucking monster. It has nearly 1000 bhp so it is gonna be a beast. I mean look at it, it looks… eh. Yo, whatever I just wanna drive this monster.”

Without hesitation, a test drive was requested and the car was prepared to be taken out in the pouring rain to see if it would suit.

Paul Logan: “Bro I ain’t doing shit with the throttle and this thing just wants to fucking fly… Yo!”
Dealer: “I would be extremely cautious in these current conditions because…”
Paul Logan: “I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna floor it.”
Dealer: “Please…”
Paul Logan: “OoooOoOOooO. Woah. Woah. SHIT
Within moments of flooring the car, the car violently loses traction due to the semi-slick tyres and nearly 950 bhp struggle to find grip on the slippery surface, almost crashing into another car as the back end slid.
Dealer: “Stop!”
Paul Logan: “Fuck. Shit. Cock. Fuck.”
Dealer: “Get out of the driver’s seat.”
Paul Logan: “Yo man we’re you trying to kill me.”
Dealer: “Excuse me?”
Paul Logan: “This car is gonna kill me.”
Dealer: “Get out!”

After Paul Logan was obliged to stop driving and head back to the dealership his final verdict was given.

Paul Logan: “Hey guys, so, this motherfucker tried to kill me. I can’t be dying yet I’ve got tonnes of merch to make yet for y’all to buy, check the merch store link is in the description, please buy my stuff. Bye bye you piece of shit.”

The car has been dropped from the list.


@Oldenways - Quost H-OneX

Paul Logan: “We’re back. Hello. Again. And bros we are here for yet another car to see and this one looks argh…”
Dealer: [looks at Paul Logan in utter confusion]
Paul Logan: “Like yo this thing seems angry. Like… grrrrr
Dealer: [raising eyebrows and reconsidering life]
Paul Logan: “The colour is shit though, but let’s go.”

A test drive is requested and within moments another member of staff reluctantly joins Paul Logan for a spin, hopefully not literally, in the ever-worsening conditions.

Paul Logan: “Before I kill myself bro, does this thing grip in wet.”
Dealer: “Nothing truly grips to optimal levels in wet conditions but you should be able to give it some power.”
Paul Logan: “Bro, let’s go.”
The H-OneX takes off rather neatly and pulls very hard, constantly scrambling for grip but nevertheless controllable, with the V8 rumbling away if not roaring.
Paul Logan: “WooOoh, this bitch is fast.”
Dealer: “0-60 mph in around 3 seconds.”
Paul Logan: “Shit, that’s quicker than the Ferrari.”
At that moment, the car, unfortunately, hits a bumpy stretch of road.
Dealer: “Ah, ow, careful.”
Paul Logan: “Shi-i-i-i-t. This bitch is rough.”
Dealer: “Mind the bend coming up.”
Paul Logan: “Yo bro this is a supercar it’ll take it… shit where is the steering.”
Dealer: “Maybe not quite as hard as you thought.”

After a few more moments out in the car they finally return to the dealership to give a final verdict.

Paul Logan: “So, this motherfucker looks angry on the outside and is a bitch to drive. I like it, but… nah.”

The H-OneX, unfortunately, drops off the list due to the suspension being just a bit too rough and suffering from quite a lot of understeer, but only is dropped off the list by a small margin.


@LinkLuke - LLA M3320

Paul Logan: “HeeeEeEEeEey! Another trip, another car. And here we have a big motherfucker again, not some supercar bitch. Just waiting for them to bring the car round to have a look.”
Dealer: “Sir would you mind coming through here please.”
Paul Logan: “Let’s go.”
Paul Logan: “Ummm… bruh this ain’t getting me from the front lemme see the rear. Ummm… nope it’s fucking hideous. I ain’t gonna be seen in that.”
Dealer: “But the…”
Paul Logan: “Bitch don’t try me.”
Dealer: [visible confusion]
Paul Logan: “I’m gone.”

With that being said, Paul Logan left the LLA dealership before even giving an update or taking the car for a test drive.


@Aaron.W - Graham Bauer Clayton

Paul Logan: “Bruh. Yo. We’re at Graham’s house. Who the fuck is Graham? Yo I’m just kidding it’s the Graham dealership and I’m gonna look at some massive motherfucking luxury car.”
Dealer: “If you would like to proceed through here you will be able to see our offering.”
Paul Logan: “Oh ho ho. I’m excited to see some luxury to flex with.”
Paul Logan: “I mean… maybe? It kinda looks a bit too… regular but at the same time not. Lemme see inside one sec… Yo! Woah! Shit. This shit is fucking nice bro. Yo. Hey I’ve got an idea I can turn this into the ultimate flex and swagmobile at the customs shop cos this is tight.”

Shortly after admiring the lavish interior, Paul Logan requested a test drive on the soaked streets to see if it was just more than a pretty interior (and face). A couple of friends tagged along.

Paul Logan: “Yo this is tight. So smooth.”
Dealer: “The intention of the creators of this automobile was to deliver an…”
Paul Logan: “Yeah, yeah cut the bullshit I’m gonna boot it.”
Dealer: “I will warn you that…”
Paul Logan: “oooooOOOOOOOOO
Dealer: [concern]
Paul Logan: “This motherfucker moves like a jet plane. Like… woosh. And this on the inside is so fucking nice and all the tech is so fucking cool.”
Dealer: “I am grateful for your… um… positive feedback.”
Paul Logan: “Yo this bitch is smooth.”
Bro 1: “Ugh
Paul Logan: “What the fuck?”
Bro 2: “Ugh
Paul Logan: “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Bro 1: “Yo relax we’re just having a massage.”
Dealer: [wants to die]

After a rather extensive amount of time out on the streets almost completely isolated from the elements, the team return to the dealership to give final thoughts.

Paul Logan: “Oh boy, guys this is the shit. It may not look it that much but this is the shit, and I can make it look it as well. I really could see this car working y’know. Damn.”

Paul Logan expressed his interest with the dealer but continued on his search to see if there were any better alternatives.


@abg7 - Mercalli ES63

Paul Logan: “EeeEeOooOo, yo guys back again at another dealership I hope you’ve smashed that like button by now and subscribed if you haven’t I will haunt you in your dreams tonight with a chainsaw, he he. So, we’re at the Mercalli dealership about to look at the… um… ES63 and I’m about to walk in.”
Dealer: “Here is the vehicle you have requested to look at.”
Paul Logan: “Um… is it?”
Dealer: “Certainly, sir.”
Paul Logan: “And it’s a sports car?”
Dealer: “Certainly, sir.”
Paul Logan: “Kinda makes me wanna yawn it’s really boring. Yeah, can’t be bothered with this one. Next!”

Without further ado, Paul Logan left the dealership and on to the next.


@Jaimz - DMC Cerberus

Paul Logan: “So, I’m about to meet up with someone who claims to have something really special to display and it’s just coming around the corner. Yo, I’m fucking ready.”
Dealer: “Here it is!”
Paul Logan: “No.”
Dealer: “Oh.”
Paul Logan: “Fucking yeet that shit.”

Without hesitation Paul Logan speeds off to his next destination after being appalled by the design of the vehicle. which was probably wise given the 1150 bhp beast being uncontrollable as well


@conan - Mitsushita Sesta R

Paul Logan: “Yo, that last shit was shit, so I’m gonna try and avoid shit by asking more about shit before driving shit. Y’know what I’m saying?”
Bro 1: “What?”
Paul Logan: “Y’know, like ask what it has before going any further asking the guy selling about the car more before saying yeah.”
Bro 2: “Oh, you mean do the correct thing.”
Bro 1: “OooOoooOoh
All: “OooOoooOoh
Paul Logan: “Bros, we’re at the next one, um… Mit-su-shitpfffff
Bro 1: “Yo”
Paul Logan: “Fuck it I’ve got to see this shit. Ha! No? OK.”

Paul Logan: “Yo, straight up, if this is it I’m… OK with it maybe?”
Dealer: “This is the car.”
Paul Logan: “Yeah OK maybe I’ll give this bitch a drive.”

The test drive was organised, Paul Logan completely forgetting that he was going to start asking about cars first before driving them, but headed out anyway.

Paul Logan: “So like does this shit have stuff like my Tesla.”
Dealer: “No, it’s not electric.”
Paul Logan: “No like self-driving and shit.”
Dealer: “No.”
Paul Logan: “Oh. Does it have fancy tech?”
Dealer: “It has some fancy things but…”
Paul Logan: “But not much fancy shit, I get you. Eh, I’m gonna floor it. Yoooooo, shit this is the only good thing about this motherfucker.”
Dealer: “Not in this rain please
Paul Logan: “Eh, whatever I ain’t gonna buy this shit, it’s only good for doing that. I’d rather drive the Tesla.”

That conclusive last statement made by Paul lead to the end of the test drive and a very obvious decision.

Paul Logan: “Nah. It’s just… meh.”


@Flamers - Patriot Sedan ofthetown Lowrider

Paul Logan: “I’m about to go and look at another “classic”. I’m fucking hoping this shit will be dope rather than make me want to commit neck rope. Yo, I’m a poet. More talented than most motherfuckers.”
Dealer: “Hey partner, here is the car.”
Paul Logan: “Broooooo… this shit looks dope. This is more like it my friend, yo gimme a fistbump. Bow. Yeah.”
Dealer: “Take a look inside.”
Paul Logan: “Fuuuuuuck, this shit is dope.”
Dealer: “You wanna go, bring the buddies if you like.”
Bros: “Yo”
Paul Logan: “Come on, let’s get to it.”

Within a matter of seconds they were in the car and ready to set off, but…

Paul Logan: “Yo, what’s that third pedal.”
Dealer: “The clutch.”
Paul Logan: “The fuck is that?”
Dealer: “Have you never driven stick before.”
Paul Logan: “Fuck that I’m not here to be changing gears and shit.”
Dealer: “Well this is a stick shift car.”
Paul Logan: “Bruh, I can’t be driving stick I’ve never done that before.”
Dealer: “Well, um…”
Paul Logan: “Forget it.”

Unfortunately, Paul Logan’s stupidity, reluctance to learn and inability to drive a stick shift lead him to bin a car he thought was going to be perfect.


@Echowaffle8 - Hansheng Bendan T

Paul Logan: “Right bros, I’m serious I’m gonna ask about the cars and work out if they are shit before driving them.”
Bro 2: “You sure?”
Bro 1: “You gonna update the vlog as well as you keep forgetting?”
Paul Logan: “Fuck the vlog its shit content, they can have it when I’ve bought it. We’ll fuck shit up later back at the bropad. But yeah, the next one is a van so we gotta do a proper check on that.”
Dealer: “Hello. You want to look at van, yes?”
Paul Logan: “You’d be right.”
Dealer: “OK, come this way.”
[looks on the outside]
Paul Logan: “Eh…”
[looks on the inside]
Paul Logan: “Meh…”
[looks at the oustide again]
Paul Logan: “Yo, this ain’t great you know. What does it have?”
The dealer explains the features of the van but is interrupted about halfway through
Paul Logan: “Nah, forget it. Don’t like the looks, it’s a bit bland and I just saw the price and it is cheap and I’m an expensive motherfucker so no thanks.”

A moment later, Paul Logan leaves the dealership.


@DoctorNarfy - Shromet Levine RINO

Paul Logan: “Yo, bruh, look at the size of this motherfucker. This shit is probably the largest fucker we’ve seen yet.”
Bro 1: “You do realise how old the Levine is though?”
Paul Logan: “Quite frankly I don’t give a fuck.”
Dealer: “Would you like to know more about the Levine RINO.”
Paul Logan: “Yo, just show me inside, the outside is looking good.”
Dealer: “So inside we have…”
Paul Logan: “Oh fuck this bitch is huge and dang it looks nice here too. Loads of fancy tech stuff too. Shit. Let’s drive.”
Dealer: “Oh, that was quick. One second.”

After a few moments of waiting for the dealer to come back with the keys, the entire crew headed out into the treacherous conditions to test the Levine RINO.

Paul Logan: “Yo, remember that pickup?”
Bro 1: “Yeah.”
Paul Logan: “I feel like the fucking king again boys.”
Dealer: “It does have that imposing feel to it, yes.”
Paul Logan: “Bruh, I’m gonna have to floor it.”
Dealer: “Well the turbocharged V8 produces… Holy shit.”
Paul Logan: “WooOoOOoOo, this giant motherfucker moves.”
Dealer: “There is a bend coming.”
Paul Logan: “Oh shit, lemme slow down a bit.”
Dealer: “Perhaps a bit… too late.”
Paul Logan: “oh. Oh. OH. Fucking hell
Bro 2: “We’re tipping over!”
Paul Logan: “Shiiiiiiiiiiii…
Bro 1: “I’M GONNA PUKE!
Paul Logan: “Phew. OK never mind back to base.”

Due to the rather poor handling characteristics and rather crazy amounts of body roll, the whole team returned to the dealership feeling very poorly indeed and decided to rule the Levine RINO out for being just far too soft in the bends.


@mikonp7 - EcaMobile Chipleader Base

Paul Logan: “Yo, bros, I’m still feeling shit after that last one.”
Bros: “Yea”
Paul Logan: “This one should be able to fuck shit up though. Like, the proper way.”
Dealer: “The EcaMobile Chipleader… base
Paul Logan: “Base? That shit looks like it wants to fucking eat children and kill puppies and fuck shit up and stuff.”
Dealer: “Well…”
Paul Logan: “Yo this shit looks nice. Let’s look inside.”
Dealer: “Inside you’ll find…”
Paul Logan: “OK. Nice. Nice. It’s up there, it’s got some cool shit.”
Dealer: “We also have…”
Paul Logan: “Yo what engine does this have?”
Dealer: “A 600 bhp V12.”
Paul Logan: “Let’s drive this bitch then.”

With the keys already in the car, everybody quickly hopped in and set out onto the streets, the rain finally getting lighter and the conditions only marginally improving.

Paul Logan: “Let’s cut to the good shit. This looks like a Lambo Urus which I know most other YouTubers that are way worse than me, I’m the king fuck em all. This must be better. I’m gonna head for some mountains.”
Dealer: “Well…”
Paul Logan: “Time to boot it! And… oh. I mean it ain’t bad but this shit ain’t quicker than a Lambo. This shit ain’t even quicker than the last car. In fact, this shit is almost as comfy as the last car, where’s the sport?”
Dealer: [fed up with being interrupted so doesn’t even bother saying anything]
Paul Logan: “Bends! Please do good.”
Dealer: “This ain’t a Lambo slow down!”
Paul Logan: “Wait what… Oh shit.”
Bros: “Fuuuuu…”
Paul Logan: “Fuck this shit, I’d rather have a Urus.”

The test drive was cut short due to the last statement and the EcaMobile was quickly ruled off the list for looking aggressive but not being it.


@gridghost - Scarab Nebula TX 660

Paul Logan: “Yo, what the fuck is that?”
Bro 2: “A frog?”
Paul Logan: “Bro, actually, the closer I get the more sick it looks. That paint though. Damn. But wait. What? But yo. But what the fuck?”
Dealer: “Are you ok?”
Bro 1: “He probably belongs in an insane asylum but otherwise yeah.”
Paul Logan: “This shit looks kinda crazy cool and kinda crazy what the fuck. Lemme see inside. And… I mean it looks just as batshit inside. Yo, these seats are tight.”
Dealer: “The best bit is driving it, want to have a go?”
Paul Logan: “Yeah, but it does seem to be missing some cool shit. Fuck it, let’s go.”

The dealer quickly handed over the keys to the green monster and they set off rather rapidly into the hills again.

Paul Logan: “Yo, do I have to change gears?
Dealer: “You do, but you just pull the lever that’s all. No clutch.”
Paul Logan: “Oh thank fuck, OK I can drive it.
Within moments they were out in the open roads.
Paul Logan: “Yo, shit, this beast is a rough one.”
Dealer: “It is unforgiving, that is true. But it is a thorough sports car. Give it some gas.”
Paul Logan: “Shit… you’re the first dealer to say that. Let’s gooooOOOOOOOOOO, yo this shit is fucking quick. And it didn’t kill me.”
Dealer: “It’s great isn’t it.”
Paul Logan: “This motherfucker is dope. I just wish that OW
Dealer: “Argh
Paul Logan: “Yeah it’s too rough. Forget it.”

After considering the lack of technology and the rough ride, the Nebula TX 660 was unfortunately scratched off of the final list.


@MrChips - Rebel Overland SST Super Cab

Paul Logan: “Oh”
Bros: “Woah”
Paul Logan: “Shiiiiiiiiiit. Fuck. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oooh”
Dealer: “I guess you like it.”
Paul Logan: “This. Motherfucker. Looks. Dope. Sick. Fuck.”
Dealer: “Climb aboard”
Paul Logan: “Yoooooo… This is the shit.”
Bro 1: “Yeah but this don’t do some of the shit your Tesla does.”
Paul Logan: “But my Tesla doesn’t look this fucking dope bro. I’ve got to drive it.”
Dealer: “Certainly, just a moment.”

A few moments later the dealer comes back with some equally fitting set of keys and hands them over to Paul Logan.

Paul Logan: “Yo, even at idle this motherfucker sounds juicy.”
Dealer: “8-litre, naturally aspirated V8 my friend.”
Paul Logan: “Fuck. Let’s go.”
The dealer suggested a slightly different route to what Paul had in mind, taking them over some rough areas to show that it can offroad.
Paul Logan: “Bro, lemme floor it before we hit the rough shit. Oh. Fuck. This is finally the fucking one that feels right dude. I feel like a king, I look like the king. Man this shit rules.”
Dealer: “Ok, take it up there.”
Paul Logan: “What the fuck, you serious?”
Dealer: “Yep.”
Paul Logan: “O… Fuck. This shit is the motherfucking business I can’t take it.”

After driving around some more feeling like the ultimate lv.99 mafia boss, the crew eventually returned to the dealership.

Paul Logan: “I fucking love this shit, I’ll let you know if we take it when we’re done tomorrow.”
Dealer: “Sure, I’ll be here.”
Paul Logan: “Yo dudes, it is getting late, let’s continue tomorrow. But that motherfucker has stolen the show.”
Bro 1: “What about the ultimate lowrider luxury car idea though?”
Paul Logan: “You’re right. Shit. Argh. I’ll know by tomorrow.”


To be continued


#110

Only a technicality, I’m sure nobody will post an entry in the next 15 minutes. And anyway if you post it after the deadline then you can’t really expect the reviews in the next hour and to be accepted after posting it late and making the hosts life a nightmare anyway.


#111

yo paul u r a moron evryone know Sesta R is the best car in the world right now smh if u put proper driver in one you can beat any shit but have to say your intro is still lit af


#112

Learn to drive a manual Paul!

insert rant about Americans not being able to drive here


#113

+f for George’s remaining brain cells

You’ve thoroughly outplayed yourself :joy:


#114

Yeah…I figured that one…disappointed the styling got panned. :frowning:


#115

Ok you got that RP down pat as my brain cells were nuked XD @Cheeseman


#116

True, it tends to understeer and you need to give it quite a lot of gas in the corner.
Maybe I should’ve tweaked it a bit more, but the V10 behind the rear axle is destined to make it behave more like a Porsche.
Well, the review is awesome so keep up the good work!


#117

Maybe he hated the Columbus because it’s one of the best selling cars for rich soccer moms and even his own mother owns one. Yep, that’s cancer for coolness.


#118

i deeply regret NOT having entered.

why?

just because that writeup was

DOPE AF


#119

My braaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!

cries


#120

Me: *makes a fast af cool af car

O.P: “it’s too cool it’ll kill someone”

Me: *makes this post to kinda complain even tho I get why


#121

That was very enjoyable! Nice writing and everything. I still hate myself for swapping the 8L v12 after I was warned about emissions and stuff… it lost most of its power. Nonetheless, I’m still satisfied with the results!