I am an American, and I will NOT own a slush box. The only way I will own two pedals is on a bike. The lack of manuals in this country is depressing.
RIP Not-Urus… Welp. Time to Put the TubaTech™ on
Seems like Paul is a very tough man to please, given that his shortlist only consists of just a few cars for now. But at least in America he won’t be required by law to take a second driving test just to be able to drive stick, unlike in Britain, for example.
Meanwhile, his brother, Paul Jake, chillin in his house: Please don’t buy the same car! I flex better than you!
Anyways, yes! My car managed to get through. This is the first time in a long time that I managed to get through!
Oh heck yes these reviews are looking real fun! Nice to see a challenge less serious with itself for a change! Definitely would’ve joined if I’m not tunneling so hard on Killrob’s challenge
CSR 96 - The Drives, Day 2
About midday (again), 3rd December 2018
”The Bropad”, Hollywood Hills, Los Angeles
“Once again weather conditions are poor, with further heavy rainfall expected to fall throughout the day right across the Los Angeles area…”. A familiar sound for Paul Logan and the crew after their rather awful day yesterday testing cars.
Paul Logan: “Fuck this shit, we get dry weather for months and it has to piss on me.”
Today was the second day of running around looking for cars to test (or even potentially destroy given the track record so far) and hopefully find the next car. So far two cars have really hit the right notes, another getting very close. Who knows what the day might bring…
@Xepy - Iondite GT Aurum Edition
Paul Logan: “I just looked at the window sticker and holy shit.”
Paul Logan: “But fuck me I can afford I’m rich motherfuckers.”
Dealer: “I see you are admiring the beauty of this car here.”
Paul Logan: “Yeah bro this thing is amongst the most dope shit I’ve seen so far today. Bro the details. The motherfucking details”
Dealer: “Take a step inside”
Paul Logan: “Fuck me in the ass and call me Caitlyn.”
Dealer: “Excuse me, what?”
Paul Logan: “Shut up I know what I’m saying. This interior is dope as shit man, and the tech looks all fancy and everything smells expensive like my butthole and…”
Dealer: “Again… what?”
Paul Logan: “Lemme drive.”
The dealer, still in a state of utter confusion, heads off to find the keys to head out for the first test drive of the day, possibly even wetter than yesterday.
Paul Logan: “What the fuck this thing feels stupid fast and I’m barely giving it any gas. Yo. Should I floor it.”
Dealer: “A 900bhp car in pouring wet conditions? I wouldn’t think that would be wise.”
Paul Logan: “I’m gonna give it some more though.”
All (except dealer): “OooOOoOooO”
Dealer: “Oh sh-”
And in that very moment, a corner was taken at some rather high speed considering the conditions, revealing some peculiar behaviour.
Paul Logan: “Shit, fuck. What the fuck this car is shitting itself.”
Paul Logan: “It’s sliding even more each time I try and correct.”
Paul Logan: “Oh fuck.”
Dealer: “Too late.”
And with that, the car began to spin. At the limit the car heads towards oversteer and then quickly snaps to understeer, spooking Paul and causing him to panic leading to a spin.
Dealer: “I think we will end here”
After the incident that occurred during the testing, a verdict was reached.
Paul Logan: “Bro, this car is sick and all but it’s fucking scary. I would love it, but it would kill me.”
This meant that the very impressive Iondite was unfortunately and reluctantly dropped from the list.
@Centurion_23 - RLD Reaper LGT
Paul Logan: “I’m still trying to get over that dude.”
Bro 2: “Same”
Bro 1: “Uuuuuuuuuuh”
Paul Logan: “But, another car time. This time it is… oh.”
Paul Logan: “Is that a rip-off Rolls-Royce?”
Paul Logan: “It’s a rip-off Rolls-Royce. If I want to flex I’ll buy the fucking real thing.”
Paul Logan: “Begone, thot”
Within the time it takes to blink an eye, Paul Logan was already out of the door ready to find the next car.
@mcp928 - MT3000 Bro-Mo Special Edition
Paul Logan: “Shit can’t get worse after that, this-”
Bro 1: “Bro”
Bro 2: “Bro”
Paul Logan: “Bro. Yeet that shit.”
Before they took another step the team rapidly left the area.
@DeusExMackia - Erin Super Aventa (MY18)
Paul Logan: “If the next motherfucker decides to offer me some shady shit I will fucking rip my nipples off and sell them to orphans.”
Paul Logan: “Yo bro sorry didn’t mean to say that around you I’m just horny.”
Dealer: [visible confusion]
Paul Logan: “Bro where’s the car?”
Dealer: “Um, over here follow me.”
Paul Logan: “Yoooo. YOOOOO. YOOOO. Remember that other luxury car from earlier bros?”
Both bros: “Yuh”
Paul Logan: “This thing has fucking destroyed it. Shit. Dude. This thing is dope. So stealthy yet so angry. Fuck yeah.”
Dealer: “Care to take a look inside the vehicle.”
Paul Logan: “You bet I fucking will.”
Dealer: [growing concern]
Paul Logan: “Oh yeah. This is nice. Come on, get the keys we’re going on a trip in our favourite rocket ship…”
Dealer: “I’ll be back with some keys…and hopefully a fucking will to live”
A few moments later the dealer came back with the keys and the team headed out to test the Super Aventa.
Dealer: “This is a very powerful vehicle I would simply like to remind you-”
Paul Logan: “YOLO motherfucker. I’m gonna floor it. H-ho… ha. Ha ha ha! This is a beast.”
Dealer: [visible concern]
Paul Logan: “Yo is this only sending power to the back”
Dealer: “Um… sorry just a moment. Yes it is RWD only but very capable.”
Paul Logan: “Bro how did I not just die then.”
Dealer: “The car is fitted with the latest safety technology so-”
Paul Logan: “I won’t die then. Great. Time to fuck shit up.”
Dealer: “I would much prefer it if you- oh forget it.”
Paul Logan: “Wooooooo”
After many more moments of absolute torture for the dealer, the car somehow was safely returned to the dealership.
Paul Logan: “This motherfucker is dope. Love the looks, love the car, love everything. Fuck yeah.”
Dealer: “I… am grateful for your honesty and compliment now shut up and leave”
@zschmeez - Albatross Mammoth
Paul Logan: “Wait are we fucking going to look at an Albatross Mammoth?”
Bro 2: “Yeah. Why?”
Paul Logan: “My uncle had one.”
Bro 1: “Oh, was it good.”
Paul Logan: “No it was a pile of heaping shit that looked like an old, not luxurious, run-down, boring 4x4 that tried to be dope but turned out to be made because the designers were probably on dope.”
Dealer: “Good day sir, Mr. Logan is it? Hmm, I seem to remember meeting a Logan a few years ago… why yes! Of course, it must have been your uncle, I remember meeting him back when the dealer was by the infamous light tower, you must have seen the one that is in the Windows wallpaper, yes? Anyhow I am getting sidetracked, to cut a long story short, I hope you have some time to look at some of these fine cars, it will definitely permit me to be eloquent. This Mammoth right here comes in the trademark Albatross Sunset Yellow, the exact colour of the car I learned to drive in. I can guarantee it will fit right into Cars and Coffee meets, everyone will love to be graced by your outgoing presence there and it will compliment you so well! You see this car has excellent engineering too. Did you know that the V10 twin turbo has 5 cylinders per turbo to improve the turbo lag as there are more pulses per revolution of the engine that are delivered to the turbo, improving the overall engine response? Haha sorry! The engineering genius in me came out a little, and I got carried away, my apologies. Anyhow to cut a long story short, in Car Seat Reviews, this Mammoth scored very highly, in the top percentiles of all cars! I can’t say enough great things about this car. Would you like to take a tour of the car?”
Paul Logan: “Bitch, what the fuck. No. That’s one ugly ass bitch ass car bro. Bye…”
Bro 1 [leaving]: ”Bro you wanna hit up that Taco Bell up the street?”
Paul Logan: “Fuck nah, fuck Taco Bell, shitty as fuck bro. Why would you even. Bet the parking lot is filled with drivers in Priuses trying to act tough, bro. Nah, let’s jet.”
On the way to the next dealer
Bro 2: “Ay yo what the fuck man! Look at all these people out here on the road!”
Paul Logan: “Bro I can’t even. They really had to be protesting right here, right today. Bro come on just floor it, make it look like you’re gonna hit one of them. Dab on em!”
Bro 1: “I don’t know man… I-I don’t want any cops showing up or anything y’know?”
Paul Logan: “I get it but like couldn’t they do it somewhere else? Why here? I got places to be bro, like, fuck.”
@Mr.Computah - Module UR-15 Targa Top
Paul Logan: “That last motherfucking dealer though…”
Dealer: “May I be of assistance?”
Paul Logan: “Yeah bro you have the UR-15 right.”
Dealer: “Of course, this is the 31th one we have had since launch.”
Paul Logan: “Oh wow, don’t give a shit. But boy is it dope. Yo, dude this shit looks tight. Like nothing else I’ve seen yet. And that roof. Woah. Bro. Inside looks… like it is missing shit. There’s no fancy shit.”
Bro 2: “Yeah but bro, look at this motherfucker.”
Paul Logan: “Shit bro you’re right. Wait.”
Bro 1: “Now what.”
Paul Logan: “This motherfucker is no flex. That price.”
Dealer: “Is this out of your price range, sir? We can always look at the cheaper one, it does have a harder fluffy… I mean it is less comfortable.”
Paul Logan: “What drugs is this bitch on?”
Although the striking design hits all the right notes, the lack of technology and low price lead to the car being struck off of the list before being driven.
@SuperLemonade - Alkaev Pangea GTS
Paul Logan: “The fuck is that.”
Bro 1: “Yeet”
Paul Logan: “Yeet it I fucking will.”
Bro 2: “Fucking yeet it bro.”
Paul Logan: “Yeet!”
@MasterDoggo - Imperator Lobster V12S
Paul Logan: “If I have to yeet some shit one more time I’m gonna-”
Bro 2: “Look, a Bentley.”
Paul Logan: “Dude, seriously?”
Dealer: “No, no. This is not a Bentley. It resembles Bentley characteristics but it is nothing to do with it.”
Paul Logan: “Show me, this shit looks like a Bentley.”
After a while of the dealer pointing out all the positive points of this car and to prove this isn’t just a knock-off Bentley, Paul was convinced that it was even better.
Paul Logan: “Yo dude look at this shit. Crazy bro. The interior is sick. The exterior is sick. It’s got a thicc engine and booty. Let’s drive this bitch.”
The dealer rapidly dashed off to locate the keys and the team hopped in and set off into the abysmal conditions outside.
Paul Logan: “Yo, try not to die time. I’m about to gas this bitch.”
Dealer: “Prepare for take off”
Bro 2: “Why, does this bitch- oooooo”
Paul Logan: “Yuuuuh yeeet, this thing is fucking quick. Angry quick.”
Dealer: “Mind the bump.”
Paul Logan: “Bitch, shut up this is a luxury car it will-”
Paul Logan: “Yo why the fuck is this so hard for a luxury car.”
Dealer: “Go round this corner, you’ll see.”
Paul Logan: “But… Oh. Oh. Wait. Shit, shit, fuck, cock. This bitch tried and then ploughed straight on.”
Dealer: “Yeah, well a little bit of understeer-”
Paul Logan: “Fuck that.”
After a few more miles of running around and trying to work out what this car really is (is it a Bentley or not? Is it a luxury car or not? Is it a sports car or not?) the team headed back to make a final conclusion.
Paul Logan: “Yo, dude, I have no idea what this shit is trying to be but I ain’t having it. We’re done.”
@Dorifto_Dorito - Montpelier Crown Cavalry STO
Paul Logan: “No more bullshit. No more rip-offs, they’re all shit.”
Bro 2: “Yo dude this ain’t no rip-off here.”
Paul Logan: “It’s… a sedan.”
Dealer: “It’s not just any ordinary sedan, for this offers the performance and-”
Paul Logan: “Yeah, yeah, I get the drill, it’s all fancy and shit but I’ll be the judge of that. Yo, actually this shit looks nice. Dude, this is the true mafia boss car. Black on black on… Bro let’s jump inside.”
Dealer: “One moment, I shall unlock the vehicle”
Paul Logan: “Yooooo…”
Bro 2: “Yoooo…”
Bro 1: [begins doing an impression of the yodelling Walmart kid]
Dealer: [reconsiders everything]
Paul Logan: “Bitch grab us them keys we’re taking this out the shop”
Dealer: “You’re buying it?”
Paul Logan: “Yo, what the… no. Test drive.”
After the dealer headed off to grab some final bits and pieces and bang his head against the wall repeatedly to try and end the suffering, the team headed out in the Crown Cavalry STO to see what it was capable of.
Dealer: “Just so you are aware this has over 650 bhp so it-”
Paul Logan: “Quick? Dope. Let’s see, I’m gonna floor it.”
Dealer: “Careful there’s a-”
Paul Logan: “Bro, this mafia car ain’t getting caught by shit.”
Dealer: “Keep this speed up though and we’ll be deep in it.”
Paul Logan: “What the fuck did you just say?”
Dealer: “Please slow down immediately.”
Paul Logan: “Bitch I’m gonna slam em. Woah. Oh. Wait shit what the fuck just happened the brakes just went to shit. Yo, let me try again. Dude, what the fuck. Again! What the fuck? They die earlier each time, is this bitch trying to kill me.”
Dealer: “Would you please stop cooking the brakes.”
Paul Logan: “Bitch, every other car has been able to do this.”
A few moments later the team returned to the dealership, where the brakes were found to be wearing fast and fade exceptionally quickly. A verdict was given.
Paul Logan: “This bitch could be the shit, but those brakes are gonna get me fucking killed.”
The team left the dealership and wrote the car off the list.
@goblin95 - GMBK Sesshi
Paul Logan: “The next cars better have decent brakes or I’m gonna sue their asses.”
Dealer: “Hello, yes. You are interested in the Sesshi, correct?”
Paul Logan: “Uh… yeah? If it’s that motherfucking supercar looking thing over there then that sure is me.”
Bro 2: “Yo, bro. You haven’t plugged the merch in a-”
Paul Logan: “Shit, fuck. Buy my merch. Hit the like button. Subscribe to me and nobody else. I’m the king…”
Dealer: “Hello? The car is here.”
Paul Logan: “Shit, yeah. Well it looks… OK. Um… yeah.”
Dealer: “I’m detecting a lack of enthusiasm.”
Paul Logan: “Sure it’s dope in a way I’ve just seen so much good shit and bad shit now this is just… yeah.”
Dealer: “Pop inside the car.”
Paul Logan: “Yo, dude. In here though, that’s where the party is at motherfucker. Ah, that’s hot. Yo grab the keys I wanna drive this shit.”
The dealer returns with the keys and the test drive commences in torrential rain.
Paul Logan: “Every car like this tries to kill me so this bitch better be different.”
Dealer: “You do realise this is a thunderstorm?”
Paul Logan: “Quite frankly I don’t give two shits. Hammer time!”
Dealer: “Oh no”
Paul Logan: “Holy fuck this shit is messy. But yo, it’s fucking quick.”
Dealer: “Mind the massive puddle.”
Paul Logan: “Oh shit. Yo. Bro. Fuck. This shit probably will kill me. Also this shit didn’t want to slow itself down then does this not have any fancy safety shit?”
Paul Logan: “Ah forget it.”
The test drive was over briefly after it began and the pair returned to the dealership, where Paul Logan and the rest left the dealership with the Sesshi off of the list.
@Lava_Cake - Ghiroza Dueporte Nettuno Edizione
Paul Logan: “Oh. Shit. This is like a better, more angry looking version of the car I just drove. Like this looks dope. And angry. Like grrrrrrrr”
Dealer: “I’m glad to hear your approval of the design.”
Bro 2: “Yo, this is less powerful than the last car and yet quicker.”
Paul Logan: “Shit, maybe this one won’t try to fuck me over. The inside looks dope too. Yo, reminds me of that last one. Shit I do hope this one ain’t gonna try to kill me. Get those motherfucking keys.”
The dealer quickly rushes off to find the keys for the “Italian sounding car I ain’t fucking pronouncing” (according to Paul Logan) and returns to head out into the miserable weather.
Paul Logan: “If I give it gas, will it kill me?”
Dealer: “No, but carefully.”
Paul Logan: “Yo you serious? Damn. Fine let’s fucking do this. ooOoOOOooO damn this shit is NASA taking me to the moon holy shit.”
Dealer: “OK, this is enough.”
Paul Logan: “Yo this just doesn’t stop.”
Dealer: “I would like you to please.”
Paul Logan: “Wooooooooooah”
Paul Logan: “Yeet. Ok woah, this ain’t turning as much as I’m turning.”
Dealer: “Same safe understeer.”
Paul Logan: “Some bullshit I would say.”
Dealer: “Mind the-”
Paul Logan: “Shit, does this not have any safety tech or…”
Dealer: “This isn’t a Tesla, no.”
Paul Logan: “Fuck’s sake. Can’t anybody give me some decent fucking safety tech cos otherwise this car is dope as shit.”
The test drive continued for a little while longer and the pair returned. Paul Logan wrote the “this fucking Italian stupid car name bullshit” off of the list, even if the performance and the fact it didn’t try to kill him made it probably the best supercar of the day.
@On3CherryShake - Kazume Callate Concept
Paul Logan: “Um…”
Bro 2: “Hmm…”
Paul Logan: “Yo. Nah. This shit looks like some bullshit my nan would drive.”
Bro 1: “Bro look at the price.”
Paul Logan: “Fuck that shit I ain’t poor.”
Bro 2: “This shit has no fucking power either.”
Paul Logan: “Fuck this bullshit, yeet!”
@brunator - Devil
Paul Logan: “Yo, why are we at some junkyard pile of shit.”
Bro 2: “The next car was just called “Devil”, no idea if that is the company or the car name they said meet here.”
Paul Logan: “Shit, what the fuck is that.”
Dealer: “Hello, you want to sell your soul to the Devil, yes?”
Paul Logan: “Yo, the fuck is that bullshit herpes looking motherfucker doing here. Yeet that shit.”
@Repti - Rhisuki Radiant APEX-S
Paul Logan: “If the next motherfucker offers me a piece of shit looking car I’m gonna… reeeeeeeeeeeee”
Bro 2: “Um…”
Bro 1: “Oh shit.”
Paul Logan: “REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
@GassTiresandOil - Armor Tempas SC
Bro 2: “Oh fuck it’s gonna happen again.”
Bro 1: “Ah… yeah this shit is gonna make P-”
Paul Logan: “REEEEEEEEEEE. Yeet that shit. Fucking bullshit look ape ass fucking…”
Bro 1: “Yep, he’s lost it.”
Bro 2: “Quick get him in the van- I mean Tesla.”
@Tsundere-kun - Kyoki Solaris
Paul Logan: “…bullshit looking motherfucker cock-sucking child-mol-… oh”
Bro 2: “Thank fuck for that.”
Paul Logan: “This actually looks relatively neat bros.”
Dealer: “I was getting quite worried there for a moment. You’re interested in the Solaris?”
Paul Logan: “Yo this shit kinda looks dope. The interior looks pretty damn dope too, feels like the real shit and fancy stuff as well.”
Dealer: “The weather conditions appear to be improving making this the ideal time to take it for a quick spin.”
Paul Logan: “I ain’t gonna spin this shit I ain’t trying to die here.”
Dealer: “Wait… huh… Oh you mean- yeah no I mean drive.”
Paul Logan: “Oh shit yeah I wanna drive this bitch.”
The keys were quickly obtained and handed over to Paul Logan. With the rain finally falling at a far lighter rate, the test drive begins.
Dealer: “Go on, give it some gas. You know you want to.”
Paul Logan: “You don’t have to tell me twice. Yooooo, woah, shit. This bitch is another fucking NASA rocket taking me into spaaaaace.”
Dealer: “It’s pretty quick right.”
Paul Logan: “Yo and it’s taking these corners pretty darn neat as well. Shit. Is there anything this car can’t do.”
Dealer: “It’s a very capable car.”
Paul Logan: “Yo this shit is dope, I’m fucking loving this. It just went round that corner way too fast and so flat.”
Dealer: “Perfectly balanced, like all things should be.”
Paul Logan: “What the fuck kind of Thanos… don’t snap me.”
Dealer: “No, no.”
Paul Logan: “I want this. But does this shit have autopilot.”
Paul Logan: “Fucking, fuck, fuck…”
After Paul continued to enjoy some more rapid driving round some of the hills in the area, wishing the car had more safety tech (and that’s all) the pair came back and a final verdict was given.
Paul Logan: “Yo. This shit is dope and all and I really like it. I just wish it had something to stop me from crashing it in like two weeks.”
The Tempas SC was reluctantly removed from the final list, even though the car was an absolute hoot to drive.
@LS-Vehicles - Teuvo Trirrow Swan CNV
Paul Logan: “Yo, last car! This could be the shit, or a shit. Let’s se… This looks… um…”
Bro 2: “Bro, the front looks reasonable… the back. Eh…”
Paul Logan: “I kinda like it…???”
Dealer: “Take a look inside, see if that can convince you more.”
Paul Logan: “I’m starting to think this is… an OAP’s car?”
Dealer: “No, no, no. It’s a fast-”
Paul Logan: “Test drive. Please. I want to prove it is an OAP car.”
The dealer looked at Paul in confusion, but headed off for the keys and came back so they could take the final test drive of the day. Within moments though, a verdict was reached.
Paul Logan: “I’ve been driving this shit like ten seconds and it is already soft, handles like jello and belongs parked at a retirement home in Florida. Forget this bullshit.”
Paul Logan: “This is shit.”
And with that being said, Paul turned the car back around and arrived back in little more than 20 seconds. The car was ruled out.
With everything now tested Paul Logan was left with a choice of just three definite cars that could be added to the ever expanding garage.
One of you three has sold the car (and the podium places have already been guaranteed for you).
As is tradition with the CSR, the results for the cars outside the top 4 are as follows:
8th - Montpelier Crown Cavalry STO @Dorifto_Dorito (better brakes and this could’ve been in the top)
7th - Quost H-OneX @Oldenways (if only it was a bit softer and had less understeer)
6th - Ghiroza Dueporte Nettuno Edizione @Lava_Cake (bit more safety and less understeer please)
5th - Kyoki Solaris @Tsundere-kun (nearly, just some more safety tech)
4th - Honghu 8^8 Heilong Edition @yangx2 (probably would’ve won if it wasn’t for the poor safety tech)
The final results will be posted soon. Good luck to the finalists!
Paul Logan didn’t want the only one in existence. A man with no taste indeed
Actually there is a very good chance he’ll be seen driving around in a purple chrome full-size SUV but that’s besides the point…
It seems I mistook your sarcasm for a suggestion. Point aside, excellent writeup, just reading all those “bros” makes my head hurt, can’t imagine what migraine your going through.
Intentionally god awful looks aside, was the vehicle mechanically viable, or did I miss there too? Just trying to get better.
Weirdly enough yours was one of only 3 cars I didn’t have any mechanical points to pick up on. Although the seating arrangement was a bit weird to say the least.
Get that design nailed and this could’ve been a serious contender.
bro wtf why was my car binned, it clearly wasn’t a rolls bro you know nothing about cars bro, it has different tail lights and the grille was diffferent, don’t you know cars bro, the engine wasn’t the same and the gears were different, there was lots of things different bro, that’s bullshit that the bentley knockoff gets a review bro it was just as much a copy as mine bro
go back to driving your prius bro
gigantic /s incase its unclear
Well, i guess that making a what would be a true supercar doesn’t quite cut it for douchebags But, yeah, it wasn’t the most comfy of cars, i give him that
Nice cars all around and very good (tho obnoxious) writing
Thanks for the feedback, I have struggled with aesthetics since my first CSR (where I was described as a mullet enthusiast). The weird seating was intentional actually, there is a cinema in the back. The middle seats fold for a screen behind the cabin area. Thought I mentioned that in the ad, but not really relevant.
I defiantly need to go practice styling before the next CSR, good luck to the finalists.
First time being in top 3?! Wow! Thank you. Being on top with the 2 other finalists that are on another level with tons of experience. I never thought I would get here.
Hmmm i though it was pretty soft, when I tried it on beam it was a chewing gum
Sadly Paul Logan didn’t chosed the Boontley :’(
I feel like the dig on my employer and my IRL form of transportation may be a bit unnecessary… I can interpret this review two ways: either you really don’t like the Albatross Mammoth,
or you really don’t like me.
Still, good review. I guess.
EDIT: Talked to Cheeseman through DMs, cleared some things up. He’s done such a good job at playing the role of Paul Logan I could not tell whether the rudeness was from him or the character. Totally on me, no hard feelings. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Or: who cares?
And if he had compared mine or any car with Audis being frigid or whatever and only for agitated ignorants?
I would’ve agreed because it fits many owners and wouldn’t count myself in, unless I secretly feel like one of them which would concur what Paul Pogan Pr. said and render his statement true.
I dont think my car was that bad to be on a junkyard like a pile of shit, they didn’t open the car or test it…
CSR 96 - The final results
Early afternoon, 4th December 2018
”The Bropad”, Hollywood Hills, Los Angeles
Paul Logan was up most of last night. Not thinking over and over about what car would be best for him, instead he was up all night doing some crazy stuff that we won’t go into too much detail about just to continue to prove that he is a complete and utter… Anyway. The afternoon of the following day had finally arrived and it was time to make that final decision.
Paul Logan: “I’m going to cut this short. I know exactly which one I’m buying.”
Bro 2: “Really? Already?”
Paul Logan: “The moment I drove it I knew. Nothing came close.”
Bro 1: “Hmm… what was the ultimate flex?”
Paul Logan: “You mean you’re telling me you don’t fucking know.”
Bro 2: “The ultimate flex was the luxury car turned swagmobile that you’re gonna make out of the Graham.”
Paul Logan: “Fuck no. You’re shitting me right? Why would I bother when there’s another one that I don’t have to do shit to?”
Bro 1: “But the 24” rims”
Paul Logan: “I’m gonna shove my 24” in your ass in a second”
Bro 1: “Oh yes daddy”
Bro 2: “So the Graham is a no?”
Paul Logan: “Yeet that shit.”
Great work @Aaron.W, you have come in 3rd place
Bro 1: “That means you want the Erin then?”
Paul Logan: “You dumb bitch. That ain’t the ultimate flex either?”
Bro 2: “Wait you just fucking said-”
Paul Logan: “Yeah, this is some dope car but it ain’t the king.”
Bro 1: “Really?”
Paul Logan: “It’s dope, but not the one.”
Great work @DeusExMackia, missed out on the win but managed to get a respectable 2nd place
Paul Logan: “So, you guessed it-”
Bro 2: “The crew van?”
Paul Logan: “Get the fuck outta here, the Rebel Overland. That made me a king and was the most dope shit.”
Bro 1: “Shit yeah, that was a beast.”
Paul Logan: “Hell yeah, I’m gonna buy that shit right now.”
Congratulations @MrChips you are the winner of this round of the CSR
You’ve successfully created the perfect car for the greatest asshole in the world. You can add that to your slogan or something?
And with that the round ends. I wanted to do some after story but I didn’t want to risk my sanity any more than I already have. Never do what I did. Don’t put yourself through this. Ever.
Until next time
Congrats to Mr. Chips on this win, with a pretty sick truck. I’m not sure if winning this specific round is really a good thing but the truck is certainly awesome LOL