Before we begin the in-character reviews, first we have to take care of the disqualified entries, of which there was a disappointingly large number. Out of 31 cars received, 10 were disqualified for rules violations in one form or another. Here, then, ladies and gentlemen, is your…
CSR 97 Wall Of Shame
DMK Himmel - @DaSovietPotato
Horrifying looks aside - which should have been enough for disqualification alone - this incredibly low-effort entry (it scored 4 out of a possible 60 points on styling) was disqualified because it did not meet the loudness requirement nor the safety requirement. Was it the steel spaceframe chassis? Was it the Basic 1990s safety? Who knows, but all I know is that it was just a mess.
Zephorus Z10 S - @Sky-High
This entry did not fail on its own, but it caused me a huge amount of difficulty scoring it and attributing it when it arrived with the model and engine name as “CSR 97 - Riley”. Who the hell is Riley? Well, I spent a good ten or fifteen minutes going through all my CSR-related PMs, and it wasn’t until I saw Sky-High’s post here that I realised who submitted the entry. Naming conventions exist for a reason, people - without it, this challenge would be a nightmare to administer!
DMC N4SR - @Jaimz
This one is a simple one; he violated the Chassis ET limit.
Tanaka Atlantis 3.0T - @Aaron.W
This one did not meet the minimum required trap speed of 200 kilometres per hour; instead, it only managed to hit 198.
LLA Sceptor C-SXT - @LinkLuke
This one also missed the minimum required trap speed, crossing the line at 198 kilometres per hour. This is especially unconscionable considering that it had a massively unfair advantage running 100 RON fuel to everyone else’s 91 RON.
Centauri Comet CPV - @nialloftara
Another one who came in over the Chassis ET limit.
CMT Atlas GTS - @CMT
Schmucks Valued CMT Customers,
In the interests of cost-cutting, we have decided that we will not include electronic stability control on any of our cars, even though our so-called “government” has mandated it.
Komodo TR350 - @koolkei
In spite of being painted the same colour as a high-visiblity safety vest, this car is about as safe as sticking a fork in an electrical outlet. Komodo also didn’t even feel like posting an ad for their car either, it seems.
Zenith G3 SR-F - @CC9020
Zenith G3 - The leader in prestige and price maybe, but it definitely comes in last place for top speed and trap speed.
CBK M225 - @N_A997
This one also arrived with the wrong name on it, though not as badly as the first car with an identity crisis. We also knew it was arriving for an hour beforehand because it was so loud that there was no way it could ever meet the Loudness restriction set forth in the original post.
Join us tomorrow for the review of the few remaining cars that didn’t trip over their own shoelaces and fracture their skulls on the pavement.