It’s glorious.
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I can’t stop laughing, and that is downright glorious! Yeah, they’ll be noticed.
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I share sentiment of Madrias in regards of reaction.
I did expected that artist would make it considerably more colorful, but yes, im hardly going to complain about one of likely most memorable entries vehicle-wise
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If it’s reliable. it may last you a lifetime, long after the challenge.
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Prologue
Aidan's family mechanic shop (JDM Specialists Ireland)
February 10th, 2022
Dublin, Ireland
Local time: 4:20 PM
Weather: Sunny and Clear
Owen (Calculator) was ecstatic that Aidan let him drive the Magistrate all the way back to Dublin. There was no way he’d let Owen drive his car that distance and besides, Owen said he wanted to drive it and this was the best way to let him do that.
Karl and Pavel were waiting for them as they arrived. Pavel was unfazed and simply watched the car pull in while Karl watched in awe.
“Interesting choice friends. I’ve never seen a touring estate as big as this one.”
“You’ve got Owen to thank for it.” Aidan said climbing out of his car. “The Magistrate Vanguard 4x4 I think its called?”
Owen nodded. “Yeah.”
“Anyway, we’ve gotta modify it. The car already came with the roof rack, and the offroad mods but we still need some more things to make it useable.”
Aidan then turned around to his team.
“Right, Listen to me gentlemen. We’ve got until the first to modify this car and get it to America. Doc, I need you to go and get the food for the journey, preferably tinned fruits, frozen meat, anything non perishable will do. Pavel, You are to find a 10 gallon fuel tank and figure out a way to get us to the United States. Owen, you and me will straighten out all the issues with this thing and then you’ll help me modify it. Max, I need you to go and get us a camp stove, fuel for it and any sort of other camping equipment you can find. Now, does anyone have any questions?”
No one made any moves to ask questions.
“Are we good then?” he asked.
Everyone nodded.
“Good, lets go!”
Through out the week, lots of progress was made. Pavel had found a 10 gallon fuel tank and left it at the shop for Owen and Aidan to install. Max had gone on a shopping spree and not only bought a camp stove and fuel, but also bought a bunch of kerosene canisters and a couple five gallon water jugs. Karl had not gone to buy food, stating that it would be unnecessary to buy so much this early. So, he decided to help out in the shop.
February 20th, 2022 (10 Days Remain)
Dublin, Ireland.
Local time: 5:50 PM
Weather: Clear
After nearly two weeks of tinkering, they finally managed to tune the engine to run on DX-1*. The team also managed to get the secondary fuel system running and got the car running properly without a single shortcoming. They hadn’t packed up the supplies yet as the rally was still 8 days away, so they just put all of it in Aidan’s office and left it. The weapons Pavel “bought” had arrived and had also been stored in the office.
Eventually, the time came to take the Magistrate on it’s first drive. So, the team met at the shop again to take the Magistrate on its first test drive. Karl had brought Gunther along since this was such a momentous occasion. Karl (Doc), Pavel, Max (Bushwhacker), Aidan (Commando), Owen (Calculator) and Gunther were all ready to go.
“This is a proud moment for us.” said Max “I think it’s the first time we’ve done something together.”
Aidan Nodded
“Yep. But we can’t celebrate just yet, we’ve still got to see if it runs first.”
Pavel came back from his bathroom trip.
“Pavel is excited, even if American cars do not fill him with confidence.”
After kicking away the lift arms, Aidan and the crew got in the car. Owen nestled himself in the passenger seat while Max and Karl sat in the back seat and Pavel since he’s absolutely massive decided not to sit in the center rear seat and chose to sit in the cargo area with Gunther. Aidan glanced around the cabin and once satisfied with everyone’s positions he turned around and put the key in the ignition.
“Right. Everybody ready?”
“Just get on with it.” Owen said, annoyed.
A twist of the key brought the electrics online, and then Aidan pushed the key further and then the starter motor began cranking. Not more than a second later, the engine turned over with a triumphant roar. It was hard not to rev the engine but it was not wise to do so to avoid risking damaging it.
Grabbing the steering column shift mount, Aidan shifted it into reverse and began to back it out of the bay. So far nothing had gone wrong, but there was suspense like no other in the cabin. Everyone was just waiting for something to go wrong. When they backed out into the street everyone stayed silent. And when they got to the end of the street, still nothing. But it wasn’t until they made it to the next intersection when they began cheering with Gunther joining, who had to resort to howling. They passed around fist bumps and high fives around the cabin, proud of themselves and each other.
So there you go, Team Oil Crisis is now officially ready for the 2022 Shitbox Rally. Now they just have to find a way to get to America. *DX-1 is a 84 octane fuel used in Fox Corportation low power generators.
TO BE CONTINUED
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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PROLOGUE PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z
ANDREAS: Wait…I read through the rules again…what the fuck? It says that there will be no fuel available except for…kerosene?
JANNE: Yeah and water is wet, so?
ANDREAS: What do you mean?
JANNE: Don’t forget that the IP 4Z engine is more or less an agricultural/industrial unit.
ANDREAS: …so?
JANNE: And the military uses the 4Z engine in electric generators, made to run on very low grade fuel.
ANDREAS: Uhm…interesting.
JANNE: I have one of those cylinder heads behind the barn, will lower compression ratio by a fair margin. Setting up a pre-heating system is a walk in the park. The dizzy is still a standard unit for all of the production time so timing can be retarded as long as you have a 13 mm wrench. Also, if that’s still not enough, there is still a simple single point injection system where you only have to screw on a potentiometer in the ECU to make the fuel mix more rich, but that should not be necessary I think.
ANDREAS: I start to think that this was a very wise choice of vehicle, unlike in some of the earlier races.
JANNE: Yeah, but how about the wise choice of paint.
MARIE: Shut up, it is nice now when I slapped on the starting number!
And finally, the retina burning van was ready for the big event coming. TO BE CONTINUED…
4 Likes
and i just realized that my 76 horses wagon entry is outclassed by like, literally everyone else ffs, like this shit can’t even reach 100 km/h under 14 seconds
not that i’m really worried tho as I wanted to focus on reliability more on my entry
“There once was a legend from El Camina, is there Huracan (no, its not named after Lamborghini’s latest V10 supercar), the ancient Caminan god of weather, have the abilities to set a light that can humans could go through space and time to see the future, and whilst its just a myth, we still can’t explain that some events of time travel was reportedly happening in this universe…”
PROLOGUE
The girls searched for resources that are contained in the wagon. They found an unopened can of Pepsi, a bag of chips, a broken key, and some cash. Frustrated by the lack of items they proceeded to drive to find somewhere to stay.
After a while they have arrived at an secluded space near the road. They decided to stay there as its night time and went to sleep.
Carol Lee, head editor and host of Drivers.com (look here and here for more info about her) got up early from her hotel to test drive the brand new Altus XE-6, the firm’s latest entry-level offering as well as the first ever V6 supercar ever built from the company.
She was driving the car briskly along the road, while talking through the camera that she set up for the review.
(C - Carol)
C: “So, what could possibly be wrong with this car? Nothing, I should say. Its not the greatest not the most powerful of the lineup, but it really means that small packages can have big surprises. And that’s the XE-6…wait a sec, a French car in America? With El Caminan plates? No way. How…”
Suddenly, Carol saw the blue Claussient parking beside the location she started the video with. Upon seeing that she slowed down the car and came out of it, then approached the wagon.
Back at the car…
M: “Hey, Maria, check out, there’s some sports car and the driver is approaching us! We’re saved!”
“L: Erm…that car looks…odd. Is this 2006 again? That car looks too advanced…and…”
“M: Movie set, probably. Gasmean filmmakers were here as I knew it from Facebook…”
Carol approached the car and saw the girls inside
C: Hello? Is there’s anyone?
Both girls came out of the car. They saw a woman in her early thirties with long black hair, wearing a black shirt and jeans.
L: “Who are you, mademoiselle?”
C: “Carol Lee, from Drivers.com. Who are you both and why you’re in a car? Travellers maybe? I think…”
*M: “Driver what? I don’t know what are you saying…”
Suddenly, Carol’s phone rang. She took out her phone which is a blue iPhone 13 Mini.
*M: “Wait. An Apple phone? No way this is real, we’re in a movie set.”
Carol stared at Maria
"C: “The what? We’re not in a movie set, this is 2022 and iPhones are like everywhere. Unless you’re living in a rock beyond 2007, which is unlikely since you’re…”
Lucia and Maria were shocked upon hearing the situation.
L: “2022…16 years have passed…the fuck.”
C: “Huh? Then when you’re came from? 2006? No way, I was in secondary school back then.”
The girls explained to Carol about what happened and told about. Although she was still unconvinced about what Lucia and Maria said, she still gladly take them to a place for a stay.
[TBC]
Fallen Angels of The Past
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1400 kg van, around 97 hp after detuning it, 4 speed auto. You beat me by 2 seconds to 100…
But as far as I have understood it, speed is not the most important factor here.
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Despite having a mere V6 engine, that car is an awe-inspiring machine in its own right - and an attractive one too. You might as well showcase it here for those who are interested - complete with lore and mechanical specs.
0-100 in 12.5 second for me, but the four on the floor gearbox and almost 2.1 ton weight means I top out at 166km/h. 
Don’t think it’ll take you long to overtake me haha.
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About the same top speed then. A forward control van is like a barn door against the wind.
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They need to be present on site on 1st March in range from 6am to 6pm as per this post
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Ah, fuck, forgot about it.
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So we’ll be towing out anyone who gets stuck up ahead, got it.
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Mara moment: 
Since Sportiness doesn’t seem to matter at all, I can finally run the 2.3l PROGRESS I4 in ADM configuration (Archana Domestic Market, tuned for 85 RON) in a challenge.
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There’s three of us bringing up the rear now! 
“The Ray of Huracan. We don’t know that’s a myth but there are some evidence about that. The second president of Gasmea, Roy Sullivan (president of Gasmea from 1780 - 1784), was reportedly a time traveller came from the 1980s as per some reports claimed. So does Fredrick Anhult, the famed Hetvesian scientist from the 19th century, as well as Ariya’s famed singer Masako Musashi of the 1980s, and more recently, Jake Hootes, the well-known Gasmean-born electric vehicle entrepreneur from the Frunian automaker Voltic. Apart from those famous people there are way more reports of normal citizens that have been done that as well. But nevertheless…”
PROLOGUE
Lucia woke up inside the hotel Carol took them to. The first thing that she saw is a television, which is way different from what was sold in 2006. She also noticed that there was a bag of chips, which had a expiry date on April 2022.
L: Gosh. Things does looks way different 16 years later. Is this a dream?
She then also saw a Surface Pro, belonging to Carol. She was weirdly fascinated about that and tried to use it. Surprisingly, the laptop isn’t locked.
L: Carol’s stuff, maybe. That laptop looks pretty fascinating, we only have half-ton monsters with CD drives and the girl from the future have this? And by the way, when does Microsoft made things like these?
She then opened the laptop and the first screen she saw was about an event. An event which is a rally running from Nevada to some place she don’t even know (its Crugandr but lets pretend that she does not know about that, kay?).
She tried to opened some apps and she saw things that aren’t in her time. Instagram. TikTok. Spotify. And a whole lot of others that she took a while to learn about that. Suddenly, footsteps came from the room. She thought the footsteps were from Carol, but infact it wasn’t. Its an unknown male wearing a white suit.
L: “Who are you?”
Man: “Huh. Time travellers. Come with me. We will help you for that. Join us. Or else…”
tooks out knife
Man: “…eat this.”
Lucia was kinda scared for about that threat. Suddenly, Carol, now armed with a Glock pistol, suddenly came from her back.
C: “Go away from the girls. You imbecile.”
Man: “A Time Agency agent, huh. Well, say goodbye then, if you dare to fight with me.”
A brawl was started against Carol and the man. While at the fight, Maria woke up.
M: “What just happened?”
C: “Maria, Lucia, lets leave this place, I’ll take care of this guy.”
M: “Okay.”
The duo left while the brawl between Carol and the man continued. After that, Carol managed to escape from the man by jumping out of a window.
[TBC]
Fallen Angels of The Past
Note: the story is a based of a non-canon version of Carol Lee, the “real” Carol is really just some random car reviewer, not some time-travelling agent who disguises as that. But do expect some non-canon versions of her in future stories lol
4 Likes
Wait, what…who is even Carol Lee to start with? Lol.
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the world may never know
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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PROLOGUE PART 0.4 - ROBOTMAN
The van was now loaded up with the following stuff to be race-ready.
Long boring list
- A tool chest with the most necessary hand tools for a roadside emergency repair.
- A small acetylene torch if welding/soldering/heating should be needed at the side of the road, of course also welding and soldering rod
- A spare starter and alternator
- Spare ECUs for the ignition and single point injection system
- Spare spark plugs, plug wires, rotor and dizzy cap
- Some rolls of wiring, fuel hoses and vacuum hoses
- Duct tape, electrical tape
- Chemical metal, super glue, epoxy glue
- Iron wire, nylon rope and plastic straps
- A spare battery
- A fully charged jump starter
- Jumper cables
- Sand ladders
- Cans of motor oil, ATF, coolant and kerosene
- A set of spare tyres and wheels + a can of puncture repair spray
- A foot pump
- Jack and jackstands
- Spare bulbs and fuses
- A spare headgasket (straightforward job on the 4Z engine)
- Spare cam- and fan belt
- Spare water pump
- Axe, knife, spade bow saw and a chain saw with a full tank of gas
- An alcohol stove
- Lots of cans of Bullens Pilsnerkorv (canned hot dogs that is more or less a cult food in Sweden, Bullens pilsnerkorv - Wikipedia )
- Some reindeer jerky
- Some beer cans and jars of moonshine and kilju ( Kilju - Wikipedia )
- A tent and sleeping bags
There should maybe not be much space left in the van by now, but a box is a box and there is always somewhere to put more stuff.
JANNE: So, now I have loaded the van, and I have also wired up the dixie horn, the most important thing of them all, I think we are ready to go now.
MARIE: So, where is the race start then.
ANDREAS: Uhm…let me read this e-mail again… Ne…Nevada???
MARIE: NEVADA? Are you nucking futs! That’s like…well, at least a million kilometers from Armasjärvi! How the hell are we supposed to get the van to fucking Nevada?
ANDREAS: Uhm…you mean that road 99 does not lead to Nevada?
MARIE: Well, during all my years in school there was actually two geography lessions I did not skip, you skipped all of them so you should not teach me about this!
JANNE: Stop fighting, have I ever failed before?
ANDREAS, MARIE: Yeah, with like everything you have ever done.
JANNE: Good, now I managed to get the two of you to agree on something, instead of fighting, I was born a leader, right?
One hour later, Janne came back, wearing something that looked very strange.
JANNE: Andreas, Marie, get into the van, we need to check if everything works like it should.
MARIE: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING?
ANDREAS: Let’s see. You have an old hard hat on your head, to which you have duct taped an old black/white game boy, with wires that is connected to an old backpack, from which an old TV aerial is poking out, and in your hand you have a remote to an old VCR…
MARIE: HEY, THAT REMOTE IS FROM MY VCR!
JANNE: Stop complaining, you can watch all the movies you like on Pornhub nowadays.
ANDREAS: But why the fuck are you walking around looking like an idiot?
JANNE: Because I want to know how it feels like, I don’t have the experience of having to do that everyday like the two of you, now, get into the van. Andreas, take it out on road 99, and then…floor it! And I mean absolutely floor it.
Later, on road 99
JANNE: Now…FLOOR IT!
ANDREAS: It is a slow ass 4 cylinder slushbox van, don’t expect too much…
Janne is quietly pressing the buttons on the VCR remote in a very special order. The van accelerates with a speed that would make any Gryphon gear jealous, and then…
(Just imagine something looking like this and even more important, sounding like this, but replace the spaceship with a pink van)
MARIE: What… the… fuck… is… happpapappapapapennninininininggggggggg…
ANDREAS: I can hardly see out of the windindindindindindshsihshhileelelleddddd…
JANNE: WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T RELEASE THE ACCELELELELERARATATATOOTOORORORORR…
The van is now heading towards a very bright cyan light that looks very strange. It is almost if the whole world has turned into something transparent. Then everything is dead silent for a moment. Quiet. Peaceful. And then…
RADIO: bzzz…SCRATCH… “YOU’RE LISTENING TO KCYE THE COYOTE 102.7 FM…”
JANNE: So…are we in Nevada or what?
MARIE: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
JANNE: Thank you for not throwing out your VCR. What would we have done without it?
The pink van now were heading towards the horizon where the race start was waiting, so far away but yet so close…
TO BE CONTINUED
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