(G)ROUND ZERO: THE INSTABINS
The Bunker, September 22, 2 PM
The concert had been a success on the face of it. Revolt benefitted from a responsive crowd, and Rob in particular put down a crushing vocal performance which would - unbeknownst to him at the time - be remembered long after: by his advocates for its passion, and by his nitpickers for his handful of spoonerisms and ad-libs.
Whether this on-stage triumph could be monetized would remain uncertain for some time; in the meantime, the four musically-inclined degenerates behind the performance rested, having only just stirred into life to encounter a mean hangover. And once the slow and satisfied chatter about the concert ran its course, the conversation drifted back to Saturday night’s topic: Rob’s search for a car.
David: Didn’t you say the other day that you really dug the way those Clyde Dominators looked?
Rob: I mean, yeah, but they’re still way outta reach. And hey, Johnny-boy, didn’t you say these things weren’t right or something?
The guitarist stirred; with his naturally high tolerance, he was less out of it than the rest - and used that fact to fill the air with his grievances.
John: “Weren’t right” is letting 'em off easy. We’re talking about a hopped-up muscle car, simple as dirt and all that, that gets sold for over 30 grand. Rob was thinking 14, this thing doubles it and then some! And that’s not to mention that they posture and pump it up as the last great hunk of American muscle, but the engine’s got a dumb cutoff, the rears lock on a dime, and Christ, if you go fast enough you end up going backwards if you try and turn!
Rob: Yeah, what he said. 30 grand, for God’s sake.
(Binned for exceeding the price limit. The idea for the car is good as is the general design direction, but the engineering is sloppy - leading to flaws such as massive 70hp power drops in the gearing and high-speed terminal oversteer. The techpool is legal, but it’s the default amount - though as far as I’ve experimented, the car is still incapable of making the budget even if it did have 75 points of techpool)
John: I’d suggest something like the Empire Phoenix… Not quite as fast, but it’s just under 14 grand.
Luke: Hey, no! All Empires are doomed to fail!
David: Heh, they kinda are. The metallurgy on their V8 bottom ends is some kinda crap. You don’t want one’a those.
Rob: Don’t gotta tell me twice. It’s got the ass only a mother could love, too.
(Binned for techpool: The bottom end is set to +1 when the minimum is +2. A decent build, but would not have been a finalist due to only “good” straight-line performance.)
Rob: Nah, want a real pity? The Brumont Grand Imperial. I love that car. Just… Love it to death. It’s pretty as hell, it’s fast as hell, it’s cool as hell. But apparently, Brumont’s suppliers are so crap that as of right now, practically every other steering pump on the GI Turbos comes out broken!
(The bin is for incorrect techpool (sum of 76, even on the attached techpool picture); however, there’s a bunch of cheese to speak of in the car’s construction itself, most notably the manual rack steering in a vehicle weighing 3300 lbs. Like the characters say, a great shame - this is otherwise one of the prettiest cars here, and well-engineered as well all cheese aside.)
David: I have a whole gaggle of stories like that. The Veloce Giove isn’t my cup of tea, but I know a couple guys who swear by the Italian stuff. And then there’s the Phénix Hyperion - a car I thought would do real good when it launched. Guess what? Both delayed by months because of teething issues. Wouldn’t go near them right now.
(Two more techpool exits: the Veloce is one point over, the Phénix - three points. Neither car was really finalist material, though the Hyperion was the closer one.)
David: Of course, that’s not as bad as the Ilaris MR and Torrent Riptide. Both those cars got pulled off the market and investigated for failing emissions targets.
Luke: You’d give the Riptide a chance otherwise? Torrent’s factories are kooky as hell! I heard on the radio the other day that one of their assembly robots broke down after they managed to put an engine into a car sideways so bad it got stuck.
(Both binned for using engines from 1986. The Torrent is also guilty of a whole gaggle of sensibility and realism red flags - like solid front discs, hard-compound tires on a sports car of all things… Or, I don’t know, the transversely-mounted boxer engine.)
Rob: Okay, I’ve just about had it with this. Feel like I got spiders in my head. How about we hit up a burger joint, lemme clear my head, and then we’ll talk about it later?