Fun wheel drive (RWD) must make for a “less safe” car in Automation Oh well, I doubt I’ll ever change. Haha. At least you liked the looks.
Damn, I was hoping the extra cargo in the rear would be enough lol.
That’s not Automation, that’s just Amanda
Generally speaking, a pure RWD car is less drivable than a FWD/AWD one, all other things being equal - and since Amanda serves as the “head” part of our client, with Keith as the “heart” part, balancing the two was quite a challenge, especially considering how nit-picking the former is regarding everyday aspects such as drivability and reliability.
And it’s also a matter of dedicated tuning. Amanda seemed to at least not object to my RWD non-TC ~230 hp car and FWIW I also tested the handling in Beam to confirm that it is indeed just on the side of predictable.
JOC1C Reviews - Part 2
And now there were 8.
Eight vastly different cars, making it a challenge for both Keith and Amanda to decide.
A challenge and quite a bit of bickering. Let’s see how they are doing right now.
Amanda “I said no. No way the Durend…”
Keith “Can’t we just do one test drive, I would…”
Amanda “Forget about that and focus!” she said as she flipped over on top of him
(pauses)
Narrator “Oh my…”, clears throat, “Terribly sorry, what an unfortunate timing. Well… let’s just skip ahead a little bit. Let’s say they are on their way for their first test drive…”, he takes one last curious peek
(resumes)
Keith and Amanda are now on their way to test drive a brand new…
Arlington Archprince Touring EX @Texaslav
The supermaroon Archprince was waiting for them on the Arlington lot, all shiny and ready for a show and tell.
Amanda “Will that even fit in the driveway? That is one big moth…” she looked back as a reflex and saw they were without the kids, “erfuc…”
Vendor interrupting, “Yes indeed, a thing of beauty ain’t it? That could be yours today. Most secure car on the lot for the no so little lady.”
Amanda gives a sustained death stare to the Vendors before Keith steps in
Keith Erhm, safety you were saying? We, we do-do like safety right baby? Yes yes. Could you just let us look at it and we’ll let you know when we, err, need you sir?"
Vendor “Sure thing guv! I’ll be around.”
As they went around the car, the noticed the more muscular styling with the flared arches. Amanda did not seem to approve.
Amanda “Oh look at the side hatch at the back, that is quirky! Maybe not the most practical depending where you park…”
The body-on-frame american design, with american boat soft suspension was different. Unique even. Not aerodynamic at all and it has an automatic transmission.
Keith “I do not like that they were out of the manual - I prefer stick. With the size of that thing tho, I fear it might be too sluggish…”
… and it was, slightly. It was hard to drive, but still fun. And while the engine was not the most responsive, for such a car it was very well balanced. The notes from the 5.0L V8 were gruff and menacing, but not too loud. Keith loved that. Amanda, not so much. However that automatic transmission was not the best choice for sure - at that point a Manual would have been a better choice.
Inside it was one of the roomiest car they ever tried, yet. Comfort was very nice, despite only having a premium interior and quite standard amenities after all. Limiter kept the top speed sane, but the acceleration of 7.14s was a bit much for Amanda. As did the oversteering at mid-speed.
Amanda “Good god, I am not sure what kind of car this is. It checks all the boxes… on both the Pros and Cons columns.”
She looked at Keith, but he only had a big smile on.
Keith *“Not perfect… but the acceleration was nice! The ABS was a bit finicky tho. That auto transmission wasn’t great, but felt sporty with that tight gearing.”
On to the next one…
Ryuji Rubik ES @Maverick74
Keith “This is interesting…”
This pretty much was the only comment from Keith at every corner.
For Amanda, it was another story. She had tons of opinions.
Amanda “It seems so simple, but well built. Reliable!”
Amanda “It’s a stick for you! Seems super smooth shifting, not too tight and long enough to feel it properly.”
Amanda “The brakes are locking up a lot, thank god it has ABS, TC and ESC!”
Amanda “The seats are not really comfortable, and it’s not even leather.”
Amanda “Naught to 60 in 10s is not bad at all. Love that greabox. Much better than the Arlington for a manual even.”
Amanda “Oh, did you felt that? A bit hard at the back compared to the Archprince. It also does have a bit of a roll there.”
Amanda “Super practical setup! Not a ton of space, but everything has been well though out.”
When the drive was done, Keith suddenly found his voice.
Keith “I did like it. The complete opposite of the Archprince - this is small… very small. Also small but super high tech engine, and drives better actually, still sporty as well. Looks more reliable, much much more. You rarely hear bad things from the Rubik. It is also very very cheap, price-wise. If only it was more comfortable. And it does have slightly dated safety, but still a lot - but the lightness and size makes it much less secure tho.”
Pensive, Keith got out, lost in his thoughts, without leaving any time for Amanda to analyze what he had just said. He was already on to the next car…
Courageux 4+ @mart1n2005
Now the Courageux.
This was much more sane, size-wise, than the Rubik, but still a small car between B and C-segment.
Amanda was very excited. The color, the look, the size, everything seemed right. It drove sooo well around, thanks to an uncommon Auto Manual - Keith did like that part a lot. 6-speed made it also much more responsive than the previous cars. Was not the best cornerer of the group, but it did ok, with enough of a kick to make it somewhat sporty. Suspension was not as comfortable as the Archprince and Rubik, but overall comfort was very good, thanks to the premium interior and amenities. Traction control, good safety.
Keith “Did you feel that? Transmission skipped. I hear the Courageux is not such a reliable car. And look at the gauge - this drinks a lot compared to the Rubik, but not as bad at the Archprince.”
Amanda “Still very practical like the Rubik tho, very similar, but roomier and more well proportioned. Price is good as well. More power from the 1.8L Turbo, probably why the economy is not great.”
Keith “Yeah, that turbo is not doing anything for me, good or bad - you do not really feel it. I guess it is good, but then more maintenance and another thing to fail. It is fast and sporty tho, only a second slower than the Archprince… for a small MPV!!”
And on that bombshell, they moved on to the next car.
Saarland Ambrosia Pilger 2.2 @Knugcab
Saarland has never been synonymous with exciting. And getting into the jet black Ambrosia felt… also not exciting.
Not exciting, but smooth driving. The simple Mac/STA setup, the 5-speed auto, the ESC and soft tuning made it a charm to drive.
Keith “I’ll be damned. This is smooth. Still as sporty as the Rubik, and the engine on this was built before the fall of the Berlin wall, but still somewhat works. Not as smooth and a lot nosier than the other car, but not the worst. This is how an auto transmission should drive.”
Amanda “This is basically a mash of all the previous cars in one. A very safe choice here.”
Keith “Yeah, but it lacks a je ne sais quoi. I feel safe. I feel in control. But I do not feel… good. I’d feel like an old guy picking up his grandkids at school. Also the brakes do lockup a bit here and there.”
Amanda “I understand, but also this might be much saner than all other choices. There are no major flaws here. Everything seem quality made, but I hear they can have a few wear parts around we need to look out for. Let’s keep that in mind while we check out the rest ok?”
Keith reluctantly “Yeah ok, sure.”
Dongsun S-Series BW 1.6 W @Hilbert
Time for some Korean now for our couple.
It was not in a fancy dealer’s lot, but in a backalley in East London… It was not old mind you, still a 2000, but the fact that the owner was already selling it…
They were surprised to find that the owner was a young finance guy in his early 30s… without any kids, or even a relationship.
Why would they buy such weird little wagon? They did not dare ask.
This was a peculiar car for both of them.
Cheap to buy? Check.
Cheap to own? Check.
Amanda liked its look? Check.
Reliable? Check.
Fuel efficient? Check.
Not too sporty? Well, triple checked - it was not sporty at all.
Then the weirdness sets in. Picture two years old door with a bit of rust already in the corner. Not even treated steel. Engine is not that small, but not even balanced. The body itself felt flimsy, like a cheap Korean Transformer knockoff. It understeered like a drunk trying to drive a combine harvester. The gearing is also so loooong that… well you can come up with your own joke there.
And the comfort - worse than the Rubik. It even felt like a bit too much of camber is used all around for such a car as well.
Then again…
Keith “Weird Korean Wag-not”
Hakaru Astura MPV 1.8iS 4WD @Executive
Continuing on their Asian Tour, they stopped at the Hakaru dealership.
Amanda “Lots of cool cars around. They seem to have a lot of imports I’ve never seen.”
Keith “Yeah. The Astura is sold here, but I heard from the guy that this special configuration is only sold in Japan normally. Really exciting to drive this.”
The red Astura was there in all its glory. Lots of detail in there, it looks both better and a bit weird in person, but not Korean weird.
It is the only model they are looking at with All-Wheel Drive. This pleases both - makes driving much more predictable. The 5 speed manual is ok, a bit long, especially since the engine peak is at the RPM limit, not leaving a lot of room for the gearbox.
Amanda “I can feel the brakes locking up, and also a bit of fade after pushing it, it’s not super comfortable to drive overall. The rear drums are there for cost cutting but hinders more than it helps. Handling is ok with the manual tho.”
It was well made, reliable, practical, a lot of cargo space, but not comfortable or that safe afterall. Price was perfect, economy and service costs were both pretty, pretty good.
Keith “Hard to say on this one… flaws in the comfort and safety makes it hard to swallow, but it gets top marks for most of our checklist. I expected more from Hakaru tho, I feel let down a bit.”
Amanda “Yeah, not sure either. Let’s think about it on our way to the Murasaka dealer.”
Murasaka Vivid Maxi 1.8 Premium X-Cross Package @BannedByAndroid
Acid Green. They booth look at the Vivid Maxi, heads tilted.
Keith “That is a bit…”
Amanda “Intense.”
Still, they were here for a test drive. And it did not disappoint… because it went to hell quickly.
The torsion beam at the rear was not doing much. Tons of rigidity up from, but the car was bumbling up and down so much that they started to feel sick. They thought the Archprince had a soft suspension… but this was jello. Completely unresponsive.
The manual 6-speed did get the car to 60 in 9.2s, and the engine was decently performing - however it drove like a pig. One of the worst drive of the bunch unfortunately.
The comfort was passable tho. Reliability, costs, practicality, cargo - all good and competitive. It had advanced semi-active sway bars and adaptive dampers, but that was not enough to help the drive.
Rear brakes were locking. Hard. The pedal was super responsive, a bit too much maybe. Keith hated the test drive and still did not like the acid trip green.
Keith “I’ve had enough. I need a breather and some gravols now.”
Hudson Matterhorn V8R @Hudso
At that point they were tired, and sick. The final car was here… if you can call it a car. It was a big SUV. Still not as lumbering as the Archprince, but clearly not Rubik size. It was also quite high.
Now, it has the second most horsepower of the day, second only to the Arlington - but very close. A 4.3L V8 in this one. Well made engine. It did come with the same issues are the Arlington - fuel economy was bad. Service costs worse. Probably because of the 5-speed auto transmission… and the huge 20in wheels. Those are massive… but still look tiny on the Hudson!!
It was a brick tho, which did not help its gas guzzler status. No undertray or any aero bits here - just a large hunk of reliable treated steel. Premium interior, premium entertainment, and the big bonus of the day - 3 folding extra seats at the back! That can come in handy in a few years with the whole football team run.
Pretty safe like the Archprince due to its size. Similar soft, but not too soft, suspensions. This makes the Matterhorn very comfortable.
Also, while not offroady at all, it does handle well if you need to do a U-turn through the median.
Keith “Clearly not as sporty as the Archprince tho - but close enough. It does move fast and changing lane is a breeze.”
Amanda “It is also the biggest cargo and most practical car, the extra seats are perfect, and can fold in the floor. It is also at the top of the budget tho. The Rubik is much much cheaper, but clearly not as big as this.”
Keith “I think it can park better than the Arlington, but not as agile as the Rubik for sure. And I heard Hudson are prone to recalls, there already one for the 2002 Materhorn!”
Amanda “Yeah… this one is not making it easy. I was not expecting to like a big SUV, but you see so well on the road, I feel safe up here. It also fixed my stomach!”
The couple is now back home. The day went relatively well. They did not bicker much, if at all.
Amanda “What do you think? Are we actually in agreement on this?”
Keith “Yeah, I think so.”
Amanda “Wow!! Ok, we have our top 3 now, but how can we decide? We have many different options here.”
Keith “Yeah, but I was actually surprised at myself today, I think finding that we do like similar things, even if not everything, makes it easier to decide.”
Amanda “So proud of you! Still… we should try to get one that both will enjoy?”
Keith “Yeah… let me think. This is so hard. Let’s go through it one more time…”
THE RESULTS
This was a really really close one. The couple survived this ordeal even closer, and in the end, Keith decided to go with a car that was pleasing to both and not himself alone… surprisingly, it was his favorite car!!
To say it was close was an understatement. To make matters worse, all cars were widely different. Surprisingly (or not), the large american wagon was most similar to the large american SUV.
While the Arlington was a bit too much for Amanda, at first, it still was the car with the least flaws (beside the not so great gearbox) and that checked the most pros (even if it also checked some cons).
So they are now a proud owner of an Arlington Archprince!
1- Arlington Archprince Touring EX @Texaslav
2- Hudson Matterhorn V8R @Hudso
3- Ryuji Rubik ES @Maverick74
4- Hakaru Astura MPV 1.8iS 4WD @Executive
5- Saarland Ambrosia Pilger 2.2 @Knugcab
6- Courageux 4+ @mart1n2005
7- Dongsun S-Series BW 1.6 W @Hilbert
8- Murasaka Vivid Maxi 1.8 Premium X-Cross Package @BannedByAndroid
Congrats to all the finalists and all those who entered the contest. Now it is up to someone else to close Keith’s, and Amanda’s, story (or skip to the next journey).
Here is Amanda's top 5 of the whole competition
1- Saarland Ambrosia Pilger 2.2 @Knugcab
2- Hudson Matterhorn V8R @Hudso
3- Arlington Archprince Touring EX @Texaslav
4- Ryuji Rubik ES @Maverick74
5- Hakaru Astura MPV 1.8iS 4WD @Executive
Here is Keith's top 5 of the whole competition
1- Arlington Archprince Touring EX @Texaslav
2- Durendal 633E @GassTiresandOil
3- WM Walton 300ES @abg7
4- IKIGAI ES300 @Lanson
5- Hudson Matterhorn V8R @Hudso
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Well, being Amanda’s favourite was more than I had expected, thanks for a great round.
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That is a very important question for the next host. Do they want the journey to continue with yet another chapter, or end it right here and now so that they can launch a new JOC? Either option is fine for me - I’ll just have to wait for what comes next.
Oh hey I finished 7th, that’s my new personal best!
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Keith’s post-midlife crisis where he ditches the control-freak and lives happily ever after? Gals like this don’t get better over time…they get worse! Lol
Haha, well, they were lucky, the winner was liked by both and was still Keith’s favorite. So that smoothed out their relationship and bickering a bit - they realized they liked similar stuff.
If the Durendal would have been a tad tamer or Keith’s favorite(it was so close on both account), then the couple would have been in big trouble for sure. I had both outcome planned out, as well as a third option - thank god people catered to Keith and not just Amanda or it would have been very sad for poor Keith… 
Surprisingly, the Rubik was just outside Keith’s top 5 overall and was surprisingly liked by him - could have been an upset if it had more comfort and was not a deathtrap That would have been a surprisingly rational choice by Keith.
He still went with the car with the most torque and horsepower of the whole lot 
Agreed to all that, just suggesting that we build a sports car for Keith’s post midlife crisis, or maybe his crypto account went 100x in the 2010’s…
Ah yes, for next round. I am jealous a bit here - post 50 years old, mid-life crisis, kids (probably) out of the house… that would be a fun run!
Just doing the math, I’m guessing it would be 2015-2019ish just assuming kid ages
Oh, wow. I actually won. With a lumbering wagon. Now this is epic.
Do I understand correctly that most people here want to see a 4th and likely final Keith round? I can come up with a brief in the next couple of days, let’s say by the beginning of this weekend. That sound acceptable to all y’all?
Thanks @karhgath for hosting!
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Yeah, I feel like it would leave too many questions to abandon them now, haha. 
Second place, my best finish so far! Great stuff, folks.
I, too, would love to see Retirement Keith’s sports car selection. Going out of town (to the Bonneville Salt Flats!) until mid-August, but I’ll see if I can’t whip up an entry on the road.
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One last addition to the current JOC would be nice - it would be a fitting conclusion to Keith’s car ownership history.
And it would please me to have higher HP aspirations without being considered “a widow maker”. Live once and enjoy it!
Kept you waiting, huh? No, seriously, sorry.
PART 1D - HARMONY
EASTLEIGH, HAMPSHIRE, ENGLAND, UK
10th of August, 2012
Mama and Papa were laying in bed; Mama rolled over, this is what she said:
“I know what you’re thinking about, love. You’re set on getting on of those fancy coupes, but you’re afraid we’ll have a row about it again. Am I wrong?”
Ten years, it’s been. Ten years since the Phillips family’s last car purchase: the big American van proved a reliable workhorse, and the Regal 254 - despite all of Sixth Gear’s mockery of the firm on the telly - stubbornly refused to die. In a funny twist of fate, Amanda had ended up taking over the massive Arlington for the most part - as between its capacity, its comfort and its effort-saving automatic gearbox, it proved a good fit for her daily home-school-work-school-home routine. Keith, therefore, ended up using the Regal for most of his commuting. Now, at first it was fine; after it his the 15-year-old mark in 2008, it started being a tad embarrassing. Still, driving the Arlington on camping trips and weekends kept Keith from being vehiclarly discontent - right up until the 254 had its first MOT failure due to structural rust.
Now, by 2012, the Phillips kids were all grown up. Tommy - or, rather, Thomas - was now studying economics in university, and had been eager to get his hands on the 254: it was the car in which he’d learned to drive with a standard gearbox, after all, and he was sick and tired of using the Tube to move about. The twins - Emma and Mary - would only be turning 17 and beginning their driver’s ed soon, so the question of getting cars for the both of them was still a ways away. Keith decided then that he wanted to get a new car for himself - and that it had to be some sort of sports car. And to make the resolution easier, after the Regal’s rust issues were repaired, Thomas could have it all to himself.
Amanda was quick to catch on, of course, as seen above. She resolved not to push the matter: After all, the last time Keith got a car, she all but stole it from him. That night, they made an agreement: No risking the twins’ university fund - in other words, the sports car was to cost not a penny above 55,000 pounds (AM$86,000) - and Amanda would get to come along on the test drives to gawk at all the beautiful cars. And exert some gentle influence, of course.
SUMMARY (Your TL;DR)
49-year-old married father of 3 grown children needs an exciting, special midlife crisis-mobile. His wife will keep driving the family’s large wagon, so this car doesn’t need to be overly practical or compromised; however, this brief is broad enough to include everything from
Keith, the man in question, is the main client - his wife, Amanda, will try to steer him away from entries that’ll leave her a widow or him a pauper, but won’t give him an ultimatum if he really likes a car despite its flaws. More details on this mechanic below.
PRIORITIES
Style
Let’s be honest, “looking good” is half the job of a sports car. Keith wants this new automobile of his to make a statement; blobby messes need not apply.
Sportiness and Performance
…Oh look, there’s the other half. Even the largest GTs are fast nowadays - so there’s no excuse for Keith’s new car to haul ass. It doesn’t help that the Arlington - which Keith really wouldn’t want keeping up - is already a mean V8 muscle-van.
Comfort
Remember, your client is now 49 years old. His spine isn’t gone yet, but he certainly doesn’t want the new car to be the reason it’s done in.
Drivability
All the power in the world doesn’t matter if your car’s in the ditch. Keep it out of there.
Prestige and Image
Keith has the lads at the pub, and Amanda has trips of her own: the purchase of a new car - replacing Keith’s old, out-of-date turbo Regal - will be scrutinized. Keith would feel better if his new toy were appreciated by all.
Reliability
This car is to serve as Keith’s daily: the Arlington is Amanda’s now. Therefore, it must remain reliable so that Keith doesn’t suddenly become transport-impaired.
Fuel economy, service costs - Yes, the Phillips family has some money in the bank now. That doesn’t mean they necessarily want to burn all of said money. Murcielago-level fuel consumption and S-Class-level service costs… Simply will not do.
Safety - Keith has never been scared of dying in a crash - but he’s wise enough to be very, very afraid of leaving behind a widow and three fatherless teenage children. At least some attention to be paid to this fact.
Practicality - Not much of a concern, as Keith doesn’t plan to fit his family in it - but if he can use the car for more people than just himself and Amanda, that wouldn’t hurt.
IMPORTANT - ROUND-SPECIFIC JUDGING SPECIFICS
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Notice that the number of people with “priorities” is down to just one. Keith alone determines which car he will buy - and he has certain things which get him going, and which will steer him in the direction of a car in an irrational manner.
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On the other hand, there’s Amanda. Like last time, she plays the role of a kind-of-filter - but this time, she will have a bunch of things that she deems “too far” in an entry, leading her to try and dissuade Keith from choosing said entry. Having driven around in a moderately exciting family hauler for the better part of a decade, not all of her suppositions about which cars are ‘reasonable’ will be entirely rational - think of the various stereotypes people have about cars.
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On a mechanical level, this plays out as such: If a car has more of Amanda’s “red flags” than Keith’s “green flags”, it is eliminated regardless of score. If that doesn’t happen, the car gets a bonus for each “green” - regardless of how many “reds” it got. Now, there are more ‘greens’ than there are ‘reds’, so most entries will likely avoid an ‘Amanda bin’ as in JOC1C Round 1. This might not reassure some people who don’t like being binned, and I understand.
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There will be two explicit stat rebalances during this round: A drivability buff for manuals, and a prestige boff for convertibles (and a sizable one at that, to make them overall competitive with the rest of the field). Personally I would like to refrain from revealing these increases because I want to decrease explicit minmaxing in this round - but if people really want the precise re-calculation methods, they shall receive them.
RULES
CAR TRIM/ENGINE VARIANT YEAR
2012 or 2013, must match each other (no 2013 trim / 2012 variant or 2012 trim / 2013 variant).
CAR MODEL/ENGINE FAMILY YEAR
2005 through 2013, and no newer than trim year. Do not have to match each other.
NAMING CONVENTION:
Car model/trim: JOC1D-(your name) / Free space
Engine family/variant: JOC1D-(your name) / Free space. And for God’s sake, don’t actually include the parentheses.
An example of the naming convention. Note also that the year requirement is followed correctly: the trim is 2012 with
a matching 2012 variant; the model and family follow the “less or equal to trim year” requirement.
BODY TYPE AND DOOR COUNT:
2- or 3-door Coupes and Sedans are allowed. 3-door Hatchbacks and Wagons are technically allowed, but you want to make sure that they look like a liftback coupe (basically a coupe with an opening rear hatch) or a shooting brake (a coupe with a station wagon-style rear, but still low-slung). If it looks like a Honda Fit, a VW Golf, or anything else ‘budget’, expect a design bin; so if you have a question on whether a body is appropriate, DM me.
All convertible tops are allowed. Editing a fixed-top car with fixtures until it looks like a convertible is prohibited.
SEATS:
A minimum of 2.
UK MOT: Must have at least one muffler and at least a three-way catalytic converter, plus ABS. Unscaled UK license plates in front (white) and rear (yellow) are mandatory. Race parts are not allowed.
MAXIMUM PRICE:
$86,000 as listed in the Testing > Detail Stats tab under Approximate Cost.
MAXIMUM ENGINE ET:
165. No mixed-metal allowance today.
MAXIMUM TRIM ET:
170
FUEL:
Any unleaded fuel - 91/95/98 RON (86/90/93 AKI). 91/86 would be silly though.
INTERIORS:
Not required; A small styling grade improvement will be assessed for a good one, but in preliminary versions of my grading scheme it won’t account for more than 2% of total score weight so don’t feel obligated.
REALISM: The 2000s sports car scene saw many nonstandard engineering choices - so unless you’re reaching “magnesium block, iron heads” levels of weird, you don’t really need to worry.
DEADLINES
SUBMISSIONS OPEN: 13th of August, 2359 CDT (UTC -5).
SUBMISSIONS CLOSE: 26th of August, 2359 CDT (UTC -5).
SUBMISSION METHOD: To @Texaslav through Discourse message. Make sure to also past an image or an “ad” in this thread.
CHANGELOG:
- 08/10/22
– Changed Trim ET limit up to 170
– Clarified that only three-way catalytic converters are allowed
– Clarified the shooting brake as a valid body style
– Extended the deadline to the 26th of this month
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