Present Day
It’s just another boring day while taking out the trash, made even worse when a sudden gust of wind blows some garbage out of the bin. While picking everything up, there was something in particular that interested you:
An invite to a street race found in the dumpster? This doesn’t seem sketchy at all! You were immediately interested, and now all you need is some wheels. Luckily, you “know a guy who knows a guy” with plenty of exotic rides just for this occasion.
Welcome to PAIN, possibly my most absurd challenge ever.
You’ll make cars (for me) to race on a gruelingly long time trial in BeamNG, specifically the 82km time trial in American Road. Yes, each of your shitboxes being ran on that entire distance.
I’ll also record the entire video of my suffering and upload it to YouTube for your own masochistic entertainment.
RULES
Trim
- Trim year: Unrestricted
- Max Price: $40k
- At least 2 full seats
- Quality sliders no lower than -2
- Tire quality must be at 0
- Tire profile must be at least 35 or the tires will burst upon spawning in beam
- Using semi slick tires will reduce your budget by $1000
- Must use at least any form of standard safety at 0 quality
- Top speed must be at least 155 mph/250 kmh to ensure that the car isn’t too slow, though it’s recommended to go higher
- Any aero fixtures must be visible on the exterior of the car, and not stacked in one area
Trim Year Dependent
- Minimum 12 comfort, ±.3 for each year past/before 1980 (this would be 24 in 2020)
- Minimum 49 engine reliability, ±.6 for each variant year past/before 1980 (this would be 73 in 2020)
A calculator for this can be found in the starting position tab
Engine
- Variant Year doesn’t have to match the trim year if you want to simulate engine swaps
- No more than super unleaded/leaded fuel (98 RON) (there aren’t any benefits for going lower)
- Catalytic converter required on model years 1975 and newer
- Max loudness: 62
Description Modifiers
If you go to the description box (in the testing tab) of your car and enter these following phrases, it will affect your car in beam in the ways described. Here are the rules regarding them:
- !race!: This gives your car an actual sequential in beam, no matter what transmission it came with originally, but the number of speeds will stay the same. It’s allowed, but using it will reduce your budget by $500.
- !ev!: This turns your car into a (honestly terrible) EV in beam. It will barely accelerate at all, but most importantly, it will DIE halfway through the course. IT IS BANNED FOR YOUR AND MY OWN GOOD.
Bans
- Open wheel mod bodies, as they’re the most likely to break in beam
Techpool
- Because I don’t want to deal with this shit for a casual challenge, don’t go above the default +5 allocation. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
Advanced Trim
- No settings that change the size of the wheels (wheel width, diameter, etc)
- No lowering the suspension
- Wheel offset is only allowed if it is necessary to fix fitment that the actual offset can’t
- Wheelbase adjustment is only allowed if needed (centering the wheels in the arch, moving the arch, etc) but be cautious as this sometimes breaks cars in beam
- Anything else is allowed, but if you need an exemption to anything above, just ask
Submissions
- Submissions open 2023-08-06T04:00:00Z, and close 2023-08-21T03:59:00Z
- Model name: PAIN - (your name here)
- All other fields are free
- Each person is allowed to submit 2 cars. Bring it on.
- You’re allowed to resubmit if you broke a rule, but if you just don’t bother before the deadline, into the all-consuming flames you go.
The Track
The track that these cars will be racing on is the American Road 82 km tour. This is truly the ultimate test of a car, as the course consists of everything from bumpy hairpin roads, where you will be scared to even floor it, to long highways that are perfect for hauling ass to 200 mph and beyond.
There are also around 2 minutes of light dirt sections, so I don’t think this should influence your car’s off-road capability at all, but to each their own, I guess.
Even with the fastest cars I tested, it still took them over 30 minutes to complete, so just be glad you don’t have to drive… unless you really have the balls to, which is fine by me. Here are just some rules to follow if you do:
- Finish the entire course in one take; I am putting you through the same pain I am going through. Deal with it.
- Have a recording of your efforts, whether it’s in a YouTube video, twitch stream, or whatever you choose.
- Try and stay on the track as much as possible. Some minor cuts here and there won’t do much harm, but don’t try and intentionally cut entire portions of the track.
i expect no one will want to but just in case
And for those who want to actually see the track in action, here is a playlist with 4 different runs:
Starting Position
The less sketchy cars will get the pleasure of being ran first, and the starting order will be determined by the equation below. (YES, BASIC MATH😱) The higher the number, the more likely that it will be ran sooner.
(Style Points (max 10))+(Comfort/4)+(Drivability/2)+(Safety/5)
Yes, I know that this is absolutely horrifying to you, but fear not as I have prepared a calculator that also helps you determine the minimum requirements based on your year. You can find it here.
or just submit a fixtureless undrivable shitfuck and start dead last
NOTES
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I have done loads of practice and mental preparation for this; trust me, I can handle it.
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Fuel economy surprisingly shouldn’t be an issue, since even I managed to complete the full course with a 1500 hp, 8000 lb behemoth of an SUV which gets 6.5 mpg at best.
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Most cars should drive fine in beam, but if you are really unsure if it will implode or not (I get it), you can send it to me early to test it.
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Try to make your car not die on every single corner. If I struggle with it too much, I might just give up and bin it.
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Besides from the starting score, engineering won’t have any other impact.
INSPIRATIONS
There’s not really much of a brief, but just in case you want something
Chevrolet Corvette
Nismo Skyline GT-R Z-Tune
BMW M3 GTS
Audi RS3
Mazda Furai
BAC Mono
Lamborghini Miura SVJ Jota
Singer 911 DLS
Ringbrothers Mustang “Unkl”
Toyota Land Speed Crusier (knock yourself out, rhania)
GM Firebird III
Auto Union V16 Type C Streamline
Bagger 288
this spike roller thing from spongebob
troll science magnet car
glober
Changelog
- Changed safety rules
- Unbanned race parts, but stated a penalty for semi slicks
- Made rules regarding description modifiers
- Changed starting position formula
- Unbanned engine stress, since that made the reliability min redundant
- Changed overall reliability min based on trim year to engine reliability min based on variant year
- Slightly raised loudness max
- Added more “inspirations”