Here
"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa…
…not screaming in terror like his passengers."
Norðwagen presents the 2018 Kümmerling - stylish, safe, and sensible schlepper of schoolkids, seniors, and all sorts of shit.
What’s that you say? You’re old? Well, then, behold what the Kümmerling features in its fold, to keep your golden years rollin’ down the road…
- Your tired old bones have seen better days? Enjoy the Premium-class, rheumatologist-designed, oversized, and improved-quality front seats. Armrests symmetrical and amply sized for, you know, actually resting your arms, not just one elbow.
- Those damn whippersnappers polluting the roads nowadays cramping your style, leaving dents in your bumper and teeth in your tires? Advanced high-strength steel chassis construction, further enhanced with truck-grade chassis engineering and advanced 2010’s safety, gives you the edge in such confrontational assaults on your venerable dignity, helping preserve your fossilized worldviews and dementia-laced so-called “wisdom” to pass on to yet another generation.
- Most of your friends are dead, but every so often, you have a good bingo night and go out for drinks… at 4pm? For such occasions, you’ve got semi-compact rear seats that normally live folded into the floor with storage bins on top. While smaller than the fronts, they too are enhanced-quality and count as full seats. What to do with the junk that ends up living in those bins? Not our problem.
- Your neck has the turning range of the German tank destroyer you disabled (or operated) as a gallant young lad in the Ardennes forest in late '44? No matter, simply adjust the standard-equipped extra blind spot mirrors once, and then you’ll have one less excuse for not paying attention in the first place.
- Small children have a bad habit of playing unseen behind the car as you’re backing up? We made half the lower hatch glass, so now you can not only hear, but see the carnage! Standard rear wiper just as good for clearing blood off as it is for rain!
- More liver spots than actual liver remaining, yet somehow a vitamin D deficiency? Dual-zone panoramic roof improves the odds of a fast-acting skin cancer doing what cirrhosis takes too long to.
- Your hands are made of synthetic cartilage, stitches, and IV tips, held together with Medicare red tape and wishful thinking? Easy-to-grab door latches inside and out, and two for the hatch, in case “handS” is an overstatement.
- Retractable small table holds the perfect quantity of road snacks - Metamucil and Werther’s Originals, mostly. Also convenient for storing dentures in between errands.
- Limited purchase, maintenance, and repair funds? $18,500 purchase price, low-$600-something annual maintenance, 83 drivability, and a reasonable 6.7L consumption rating make it easier to go out and live a little… as much as you’re living these days, anyway.
- Heirs hovering like vultures for the proceeds of your vast (cough) estate? 80+ overall reliability helps ensure they’ll have yet another headache to get rid of or fail to appreciate.
- Eyes take too long to adjust to darkness? Red instrument lighting, even the air vents, eases the adjustment… while visually preparing you for where you’ll likely be spending eternity before long.
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23 hours left, I looked at some DMs and I might clarify a little to make you feel easier:
- Advanced trim settings are fine if not overdone and you can explain why you did that (the people did)
- Wrong light setting (like indicator and reverse) doesnt affect judging as long as it looks right. I understand the right material setting is sometimes a pain.
- Hidden wipers are ok if you mention it.
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2018 HEIMAT TOEHN
Quintessentially German.
The all-new Toehn strikes just the right balance between boldly new and timeless. Its taut, sophisticated five-door profile encompasses a host of unique new features and intuitive technology. Sporty, generously spacious and versatile, it adapts to go wherever life takes you. Unmistakably Heimat yet fresh from bumper to bumper, the Toehn moves you seamlessly into the next era. The safety of you and your passengers is built into every part of the Toehn. It starts at the very heart of the car – with a strong, rigid body, a finely tuned chassis and carefully designed crumple zones. We’ve added a range of clever electronic features and advanced driver assistance technology, so everyone on board enjoys reassuringly advanced protection. Every option in the Toehn engine range brings you a balance of strengths. So whether you go for our petrol or diesel version, you’ll enjoy refined accessible power and real efficiency.
Gallery
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Hold your phone however you like, this should look and work correctly anyway.
The new Pixel
Agile, efficient, practical, stylish - you don't need to choose, it's all in one package.
Your PZS Pixel configuration
- Dream equipment level
- T3 engine with Flowshift transmission (1.2 turbo I3, 116 hp, 200 Nm, 6-speed, FWD)
- Superlime paint + black roof
- Safety+ package
- 18100 €
Technical overview:
- 4.19m x 1.75m with 2.60m wheelbase
- 1419 kg
- 205/50 R17 long life tyres on alloy wheels
- 0-100 in 10.9s, 100-0 in 38.0m, max speed 180 km/h
- 4.9 l/100km mixed (WLTP)
PZS - For all your needs
© PZS S.A. 2023
OOC: no time for fancy photos with Automation being in a splatty mood. When I'll have the time for all that I'll post it in the PZS thread. Yes, this is a fully equipped Pixel, just without the top engine or AWD.
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2018 Mara Xenia 1.2 SKE
Quintessenially Archanan. scnr
Oh, and if Ignacio craves some sportiness, he can always pretend he is driving the Xenia’s R2 Rally version…
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My very 1st designs had that same headlight design…great minds thnk alike.
Built for your urban lifestyle, the all-new 2018 hmc VIBE is built with simplicity and practicality in mind. A squared-off rear gives the most headroom possible and the extended wheel arches allow for more interior cargo volume. Limited trim models feature LED daytime running lights and LED signature C shape taillights.
Specs
HP 2.4L turbo I4
22.5 MPG
1840 L of cargo volume with rear seats folded down
Available with 3rd-row jump seats
Standard 8-inch touchscreen
Offered at $19,500
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The Ultimate Driving Machine at an Affordable Price
Introducing the all-new Korssen K-20 Urban, the perfect hatchback for city life. With a spacious and comfortable cabin that can accommodate up to five passengers*, the K-20 Urban is perfect for commuting, running errands, and weekend getaways.
Inside, the car offers a spacious cabin. The seats are designed with comfort and convenience in mind, making long drives more enjoyable. The car also has plenty of room for cargo in the back, making it a practical choice for drivers with an active lifestyle.
But it isn't just about comfort - it's also sporty and fun to drive. The chassis is nimble and agile, making it easy to maneuver in tight city spaces. And with its sleek and modern design, the K-20 stands out from the crowd.
The K-20 is also designed with safety in mind. It comes equipped with a range of advanced safety features such as electronic stability control, traction control, and multiple airbags, ensuring the driver and passengers are protected in the event of an accident.
At Korssen, we believe that everyone should have access to a reliable and affordable car. That's why we offer an unbeatable combination of quality, affordability, and performance.
The K-20 Urban is available for purchase at Korssen dealerships nationwide. Don't miss your chance to experience the ultimate driving machine at an affordable price, the hatchback that's perfect for city life. Visit your local Korssen dealership today and take a test drive.
*Four seats standard. 5 seat homologation is optional.
Specifications
Engine: 1.6L N/A i4 DOHC - 4D16A-2LO
More engine: 120hp @ 6.100rpm - 163nm @ 3.700rpm - 7.000rpm redline
Speed and power: 0-100 in 9.9 seconds - 230 km/h electronically limited top speed
Transmission: Transverse FWD - Viscous LSD - Advanced 7 speed automatic
Panels and chassis: Partial aluminum with galvanized steel - 1265kg
Suspension: (F) Double Wishbone (R) MultiLink - Progressive springs, with Adaptive dampers and Semi-Active sway bars tuned for comfort
Interior: Premium with premium infotainment - vertical touchscreen and digital dash
MSRP: €18,499
Gallery
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Introducing the facelifted 2018 Yoshino Mako 5dr for global markets. With a fresh, modern face, the Mako 5dr is ready to conquer the hatchback market with a highly efficient YOSHINO ETEC 2.0 liter DOHC I4 producing 144 horsepower and 165 lb-ft of torque. The engine is connected to an electronically assisted 6 speed automatic transmission sent to the front wheels, which are 16 inch polished aluminum alloy. Manufacturer rated 33.8 combined MPG.
Enjoy features like a sunroof, an advanced center infotainment screen, backup camera, adaptive cruise control, and automatic emergency braking. All of this and more for an MSRP of just $19,300 for the shown base model, GL.
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The amount of entrants is truly outstanding. Well, that keeps me busy for a while, but I will try to stick to the one-week-rule.
The entries are now closed.
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How many submissions did you receive?
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I hope I avoid the bin!
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Theres definitely some super solid designs this round👌🏾…damn near look like a CSR
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I count 34 submissions, definitely a hefty amount of cars for the old man to choose from!
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“So, when are you going to move out? You turn 30 next year!”, said his mother.
“And you never came home with a girl, what is wrong with you?”
The sound of a tortured Primus 4C2016 engine was never more relieving than in this situation.
VRRROOOOooooOOOOOOOOOOOoommmm… vvvVVVRRRROOOOOROROROROROROROOOOOO
“Madre de dios! It´s Ignacio again!” She closed the windows after the stench of the clutch intruded the house.
“I better look after him.”
“Just make sure to take the keys away from him”
“Hello, my young amigo, here are the latest car review magazines. But since I forgot where I had put my reading glasses, you might tell me, which cars are a good choice?”
BINS
Elkridge Xcitement by @Techerov
Canadian Lapin by @benjamintamilia
“A solid but not excellent car, but the review says the comfort is quite low. Funny, the author has one of these rare Primus Astrona 200 as well, and he says, his oldtimer has more comfort than this.”
Platinum Valencia by @Rise_Comics
“Oh, a domestic sports car, and it is surprisingly comfortable for what it is. A shame the introduction is delayed because of a strike.”
HOST EXPLANATION: Even if you were one of the first to post an ad, you submitted the car an hour after the deadline. I feel your pain, so I looked at your car to give you some kind of review. Since you built something totally out of scope, you would not have won anyway, but it is a rather solid car. Maybe something for Sergio if he wasn´t that broke.
“So… any more to leave out, Sergio?”
“Yep. But there is still a heap of cars left. Well, let´s see what is not suiting your needs…”
NOT CONSIDERED
HMC Vibe by @OT_motive
"Consumption and service cost are quite high… especially when comfort and drivability are not far above the minimum we request. Neither is it cheap nor reliable.
Wagler VT8R by @DrDoomD1scord
“Wait, is that a real sports car?”
“Yes, indeed. For 20k! It even has sports car performance.”
“How… is that possible, Sergio?”
“According to the review with abysmal reliability. It has a score of way below 50. And it swallows fuel like my boyfriend my… well, just no.”
“Too bad, it looked great. And you should really tell your parents, my young friend.”
BetterDeals Kit Car by @Djadania
“Dios mio! is this even legal?”
“Only as gray import due to the low safety. But you CAN get it registrated…well, if you really want such a mess, of course.”
“I can see the reason for the safety concerns even without my reading glasses.”
“If you forget about these concerns, it does go 300 kph. You would need a net behind the car to catch your dentures that fall off at this speed.”
“Nah, my dentures were almost as expensive as this thing. That´s a no then.”
“You don´t say?”
HOST EXPLANATION: You expected this. However, it DID pass the bins.
EXPECT THE NEXT 10 CARS WITHIN 24 HOURS.
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Troll complete; Return to HQ.
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Damn, I thought I double checked that.
Well, I guess the cars that passed deserved it so good luck!
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