6 Likes
Team Sane Insanity
Part 0.2 You Have Not Arrived At Your Destination
After a brief shopping trip in Vegas, where Team Sane Insanity loaded up food, tools, parts, sheet metal, bondo, spray paint, and other important supplies, the team headed off to the start point. The Voyage was equipped with RoadMastery, Roadmaster’s navigation system, so against all better judgment, Raymond insisted that the team should use the RoadMastery over a more competent app. The team inputted the coordinates and set off. Once they were nearing their destination, the RoadMastery, had some important instructions for the team to follow
“At the next intersection, turn right”
The convoy turned right
“Recalculating”
“At the next intersection, make a U-turn”
The convoy followed the navigation’s instructions and made a U-turn
“At the next intersection, turn left”
The convoy turned left
“Recalculating”
“At the next intersection, make a U-turn”
Again, same drill
“At the next intersection, turn right”
“Recalculating”
“At the next intersection, make a U-turn”
“At the next intersection, turn left”
“Recalculating”
After following these very nonsensical instructions multiple times for at least half an hour, Nathan, who was following in the KKR, noticed that they were going in circles, and attempted to call the others over a poor connection. Eventually, the team pulled over to consult Google maps. After a long wait for the app to load, it was determined that the gravel track that they needed to follow was not in the RoadMastery system, and as such, the car was extremely unhelpful and could not provide coherent instructions. They also discovered that they were extremely close to camp, and therefore, anyone who bothered to look could watch in great amusement at Team Sane Insanity inability to arrive at the start line. Eventually the team pulled into camp at 14:47, extremely tired after this whole affair.
“You have arrived at your destination” chirped the ever-helpful RoadMastery
“It would have been nice to be told that a few hours ago” complained Raymond
“No need to be salty at your own idea” snapped Andrew.
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Team Not-So Slow
Chapter 1, Part 2- This might be our route!
(rusty yet again cause i havent done this in 2 weeks)
Meanwhile after completing the whip just about a week or two ago, Matt gets the car started and then Izzy gets in, after checking that the car is roadworthy and has the things we need like a jump-starter, a shopping bag or two worth of food, etc. Technically rations at this point.
the turn-signal stalk has been broken off, but that’s easily gone over. A bit dangerous, but surely there’s other ways of letting people know we are indicating. “That’s not much of a loss, is it?” Matt says to himself as he checks the car like an MOT tester, except in a lot less stringent manner than one. And more-so that it doesn’t kill someone. Izzy then replies with “It’s fine, don’t worry about it, we’ll live”.
Some time later, we eventually get directions to the venue, and go there, on an empty stretch of road, Matt floors it for a few seconds to get a feel of the acceleration. And then the driving goes from there. Making sure we aren’t lost, Izzy goes and checks the mapping route
(dialogue time)
Matt: You know, this car isn’t that bad of a choice after all, It drives nicely for the most part, it’s not gonna win any awards, but at least it passes scrutineering, i hope.
Izzy: Don’t get too excited, it’s a front wheel drive car, don’t complain to me when you understeer into a tree- After all, i don’t think that’s bound to happen with someone like you.
Matt: True, besides, we should be there soon, check and make sure we haven’t fucked up the route?
Izzy checks the maps to make sure we’re indeed driving on the correct roads
Izzy: Nah, it’s fine. We’re on the right road, thankfully.
2:20 PM, Shitbox Rally Inspection Point, Nevada
After a hour or so, we eventually arrive at the starting location, somewhere in Nevada. We go to the inspection point to get the car scrutineered by the inspectors.
Malavera notices that the stalk doesn’t exist. He points out to the team that the stalk for the indicator looks like its been broken off. But he lets it slide and the car passes tech inspection with no other problems.
Matt replies to Malavera, after hearing about the news “Oh, i’m aware of that, it was like that when we got the car. I think they broke off after some use”. Malavera then walks back to his car, and we go to our parking bay, after spending a minute’s worth of finding a good one.
Matt then parks his car. “Surely there’s other ways of letting people know we’re signalling” he says to himself just before he shuts off the car and gets out of it for the time being.
TO BE CONTINUED
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Shitbox Rally
The Teams
Team Shift Happens
2 Cars:
HD-GV “Home Unit”
HD-GV “Carry All”
VS Mobil Generator AB
2 Cars:
VS 221S “Robert”
VS 221S “Regina”
Team M.A.D.
2 Cars:
Walkenhorst UtilXL FireRescue
Sakura Citrine LWB
Team Sinesian Rejects
2 Cars:
Ilaris Imbe Sport S 1.3 “Frankencar”
Ilaris Itan Base
Team Not-So-Slow
1 Car:
Schnell L30 1.9 SE Executive
The Ambassadors
2 Cars:
IVERA Executive LXT
Mayland Ambassador
The Knockouts
2 Cars:
1325 Facelift
Papillona 606 S
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
2 Cars:
Saguaro T-REE 2000 Wagon
Kontir Cunningham 1.9
Team HETS
2 Cars:
Franklin HiWay Rally
FM VanGo
Team Flaming Gallahs
1 Car:
Priscilla II
Team Friendship! 
1 Car:
Bazard E-Series
Team Hillbilly Rollers
2 Cars:
IP Rugger 4x4
Sanju MDM44 “Wolverine”
Team Sane Insanity
2 Cars:
KKR S2
Roadmaster Voyage
Faolan Industries
2 Cars:
Aether 52 H
Aether 11/2
Team Taciturn
1 Car:
Mara Irena 2.0 UR
Team ReUnity
1 Car:
Ursula F5 400I cross 4x4
Team Spy Kids
2 Cars:
Reekayns B210
Mocabey Pioneer XL
Team J3
2 Cars:
Tiharris Summer V6 J3
Rhien Willow SR50 Turbo J3
Team Aeromad
2 Cars:
Juggernaut 862 Custom Aeromad
Torrento Providence II Aeromad
Team Black Rabbit Disavowed
2 Cars:
Seikatsu Diesel Galactic
Dauer 836RS Darien
Team Sheriff Scott’s Posse
2 Cars:
Warren Warlock FH
Bowie Bearcat
Team 48656c696f73 (Known by the hosts as “Team 486”)
2 Cars:
Kaufmann Viera Custom
Kaufmann Kleinbus Custom
Team Magdelena
2 Cars:
Baumhauer 423 Vier Group A
Hinode Rusa Ambulance
Team Machinas Con Passione
2 Cars:
Mercedes Blue Wonder Alessio
Faenza Spirito SP-C
Team Cunning Stunts
2 Cars:
VHT Supermobile (Sand Hopper)
Contra Ute
Team Till D End
2 Cars:
JMX Linx Turbo Injection
Avantii Trailduster Camper
Team Basedworks
2 Cars:
Basedworks RV
Basedworks MCMOTD
Team GUNSHIP
1 Car:
Haapala Streetcruiser
Team 4 Dicks in a Truck
1 Car:
Centurion 9000
9 Likes
Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures 2: The Team
Guess whos back, back again. Giacomo’s back. Tell a friend.
The Team:
Car 1: 1973 Faenza Spirito
A car with a complicated backstory, modified by Alessio to be used as the mobs “grocery getter” during the 1980s. Light as a feather with the soul of a rally racer, the Faenza Spirito looks to capture MCP’s first Shitbox Rally win after their… Adventure, shall we say, at the last rally.
Driver: Johnny Scarfiotti.
Age: 18
Bio: A young racing driver on the up and up, Johnny is an American born italian racer, and the first cousin once removed of Giacomo, though they have a close uncle/nephew relationship. Johnny runs in the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series for the Machinas Con Passione team, though minimal involvement from Giacomo or Alessio is involved in the team. Johnny is renowned for consistently outdriving the truck, though his overaggression and inability to preserve his equipment have led to many lost results. Won his first career race at Talladega after hanging around the playoff grid, though failed to win the championship. He’s gearing up for another season in NASCAR, but a little R&R from the shitbox rally is a team building exercise he can’t refuse, though he wishes he could refuse his teammate.
(since I deleted TS4 and dont have the space to redownload it, I will use a low quality stock image of Andrew Vanwyngarden to represent my fictional racing driver. These are tough times, people. Tough times.)
Johnny is a bit of a goofball, but can have a more serious side to him if need be. He prefers to hang out with his friends, and is something of a media darling, never hesitsnt to play to the crowd or get up in front of a camera. Is often at odds with Ryouchi when they cross paths, though has no personal problem with him.
Co-driver: Ryouchi Katou
Age: 24
Bio: Ryouchi was touted for greater things upon his racing career debut at the age of 5, and took the normal career progression most bound for F1 are told to take, Ryouchi actually found alot of initial success, winning kart championships and progressing the ladder of Formula Ford, F4, GP3 and Formula 2, winning the rTrainer championship, Japanese and European Formula 4, and winning 3 races in GP3 before debuting in FIA Formula 2 in 2017. Three uneventful seasons unfolded, where despite initial Ferrari backing and private tests with Sauber, nothing came of the young mans F2 career, and after Ferrari ended their support, Ryouchi fount himself without a ride for 2020. Luckily for him, the pandemic struck while on vacation in America, leaving him trapped in the country with a new opportunity ahead of him: NASCAR!
Ryouchi would debut in the Xfinity series, with support from Giacomo and Alessio Scarfiotti, and would quickly find himself treading deep water after smash cutting into a sport which had nothing in common with his previous occupation. Ryouchi would soldier on, receiving a promotion into the cup series for 2022 , though 9 dnfs would put a halt to any momentum he might’ve built in that time. At the playoff race at Homestead Miami Speedway, Ryouchi would spin by himself during practice and back his car into the wall, causing a concussion and ending his season prematurely. The team would contract veteran racer Thibault Prosper to complete the season in his stead. Ryouchi has yet to return to NASCAR, instead spending his time moping around and working out or whatever top level professional athletes do when they’re sad. His participation in the rally is meant to be more of a team building exercise, but while Ryouchi could contain his jealousy of Johnny’s success when they were at different teams, is putting two young, hungry racers together a good idea?
Car 2: 1955 Mercedes-Benz Renntransporter Blue Wonder - Alessio
This particular car was bought by Alessio in the 1970s as a “real authentic copy for real”, but upon opening the garage, found this facelifted… Thing. It might be real, it probably isnt judging how quickly the previous owner ran after Alessio handed him his 500 dollars, but… It works. It’s powered by an engine lifted from one of Alessio’s F5000 that he was driving at the time, which he also designed himself.
Car 2 crew:
Driver: Giacomo Scarfiotti
Age: 50
Bio: Everyone’s favorite manchild, the king of the silver spoon himself is back for another go. Giacomo is a technical genius, though his eccentricities tend to mask this frequently, and without someone to ground him, he tends to get ahead of himself, as he brought the thirstiest van since YOUR MOM (sorry) to last year’s rally, and condemed MCP to last as a result. Luckily for him, he has an F1 driver and his dad to keep him grounded in reality.
Giacomo gets on with everyone at MCP, but has recently found that Ryouchi is mostly spending time with his family lately. Hopefully the shitbox rally can keep the team dynamics in working order. Nothing like the smell of kerosene to keep the old familial bonds going, right? Dont let him and Johnny near each other, though, or they’ll talk everyone’s ears off…
Co-driver: Alessio Scarfiotti
Age: 83
Bio: “Engine builder, racecar driver, lady lover and cool beard owner, has Alessio REALLY done it all? Well. Actually, he has. Everything except the shitbox rally.” - James Sykes, Bagel Media
probably the oldest participant in the challenge, Alessio has made a name for himself in a racing career that’s spanned over 50 years, starting as a teenager in the late 1950s before debuting in the World Sportscar Championship in 1961. 21 long seasons followed until his retirement in 1982, before becoming an owner driver in rallying during the group B era. After 1987, Alessio would continue to make sporadic starts while managing his engine building/tuning business named after him, and though he never officially retired from racing or from engine building, remaining active at the club level to this day, he vastly prefers the managerial side to racing these days.
Alessio is participating for the memes, and after hearing Giacomo retell his stories of giant wolves with even bigger guns, hopes to make some new friends to go to the range with, as shooting is a hobby he’s recently picked up. Though Alessio is happy to work on engines anytime, business and pleasure don’t usually mix, expect him to be socializing with other teams between stages.
Sensible person/Amateur medic: Hikiko Katou
Age: 54
Bio: a recently retired PROLIFIC racer, Hikiko actually had late start to racing, debuting at 14 after running away from home to persue her racing career with a friend of hers. Karts, Japanese F3000, and one replacement drive later found her as one of the youngest f1 debutants at age 19 in 1988, replacing Julian Bailey at Tyrrell. A prolific career smattered with podiums and stints for teams like Ferrari, Lotus, uh… Forti… Footwork… Yeesh. Followed, until she signed for benetton in 1998. She competed 3 seasons with the team, missing the 2000 season on maternity leave due to giving birth to Ryouchi, before returning in 2001, only to have a career ending crash in the season ending race at Suzuka, leaving her with brain damage, resutling in her being declared unfit to race.
Hikiko’s mental faculties were intact, though the recovery time in regaining her reflexes and motor skills ruled out a return to the fast paced world of F1. Hikiko would make a career of racing anything she could get her hands on, with attempts in everything from the Baja 1000 to the Indy 500. She later have a daughter in 2007, and later carve out a part time NASCAR career as her main hobby, before retiring for good in 2022. That being said, the urge to come back one last time is hard to resist, though watching Giacomo wheel the Blue Wonder sounds like a much better proposition.
The three person crew of the Merc have a history together, though all of their hurt feelings have been left in the past, resulting in a more relaxed atmosphere to the likely tense environment of the Spirito entered with the MCP NASCAR crew. Hikiko has been helping her son navigate his career since day one, but the crash seems to have been the nail in the coffin for his confidence. Hopefully something low key will help him get his mojo back…
Equipment:
The intention of the team is to win the race with the Spirito, while providing support in the Blue Wonder. To that extent, each member has packed some of their personal belongings into the Blue Wonder:
Giacomo and Alessio have brought their journals, full of designs and notes. There’s a section dedicated to the cars that partook in last years rally, with Giorgio Piolla-esque illustrations of the various entrants, with technical drawings made while watching other teams perform repairs during camp.
Giacomo brought his disposable camera. He is bad at taking pictures. He also brought a Fender Stratocaster, with an Ibanez Tube Screamer and a Fender Amp, hoping to continue his shenanigans from last year.
Alessio is packing his guns normally reserved for the range. He’s brought his prized collection, a 1875 Colt Single Action Army, an M1 Garand, and a Mosin Nagant 91/30. He also brought some spare targets for anyone who wants to join him, and enough fishing rods to share with other teams. True dad energy. He’s also packing multiple packs of cigarettes.
Ryouchi brought his laptop. Giacomo did not tell him. Cruelest thing he ever did. He’s also brought his old PSP from back in the day, and some vidya to entertain himself.
Johnny brought many bizzare shirts because he finds them funny. He’s pulled up to camp wearing one with “MILF HUNTER” emblazoned on the front and back.
Hikiko is carrying a first aid kit, though any serious injuries will need to be handled by someone more experienced, as the best she can do is put a bandaid or some gauze on.
The team has also packed the following supplies into the Wonder’s Frunk, which it apparently has:
1 box each of:
- Albums, selected to not be shit, and reflecting the tastes of each of the group, except Giacomo. There’s a smattering of hits from the 50s-90s, with some highlights including 50 Cent’s Get Rich or Die Trying, Korn’s self titled, though Hikiko isn’t sure which one it is, Taeko Ohnuki’s Mignonne, and Skrillex. On second thought, I think Giacomo stuck that last one in.
- Ramen. There’s an entire box of shitty dollar store ramen.
- Basic necessities
- A rice cooker and a coil stove, because you are not stopping an asian parent from cooking some bomb ass food, no matter how deep you chuck her into the mountainside.
- All the tools, but we’re SOL if something breaks for good.
- and finally, some ammo to keep Alessio happy.
With that, MCP is actually prepared for once, but will it stop them from chucking their car off a cliff?
Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures 2: The Team - FIN
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Team Shift Happens
Driver’s Log 2, March 31, 2023
There are now 29 teams participating in this event, according to our sign-up sheets, all with a collection of curious characters and odd names.
Two teams were known to me before the event: Shift Happens, as detailed before in my previous entry, and VS Mobil Generator AB, the team Valentin set up to provide power to the entire camp.
I asked Kaylie for permission to look over the various teams’ entry forms, so I could log them into my historical records.
These entry forms will be entered here in the order that Kaylie received them.
The first team to submit an entry to the event was “Team M.A.D.” Their goal, from what little I’ve heard, is to document and record the event. M.A.D. is an acronym for “Make a Documentary,” after all. They have plans to bring a pair of cars along. The names of their crew are: Urijah Hunt, Renee Rush, Victoria de la Cavalleria, and Maxim Tremblay.
The second team is “Team Sinesian Rejects.” The crew, Tolok-Javon ‘TJ’ Hyrteyn, Alauran ‘Al’ Caere, Ianis Solani, and Jas Kan’aan, plan to bring a pair of cars as well. They did mention they’re from a different world, which makes them our first interstellar team for this year.
Third on the list is “Team Not-So-Slow,” a team from last year. Isabella Jackson and Matthew Smith make a return, though Kaylie glared at this sheet for an hour when it arrived. They plan to bring one car, though Kaylie did mutter about “checking for alcohol before we leave.”
Next up is our fourth crew, “The Ambassadors.” Another interstellar bunch, planning on bringing two cars on this voyage. Landon Sabourne, Aryton Sabourne, Amell Sabourne, Karl von Heislingberg, and Denali Bassett plan to make the trip to Nehmenweld with us.
Then we have Kate Silas and Octavia Arachne, known as “The Knockouts,” bringing two cars along. Another team from outside this world.
Another team from last year, “Team Mravolinski-Chitco,” brings two cars with one being from last year. Loojoe Mravolinski, Siviko Mravolinski, Amanda Mravolinski, Chicota Junior Mravolinski, Andrea VerBanka, Pi Chitco, and Mat Hammeltau are the crew this time.
Kaylie says they’ve competed against part of “Team HETS” in a 24-hours-of-Clunkers race. Mrs Elizabeth “Gran” Harcourt-Entwhistle, Mrs “Nanna” Prudence Tuppington-Smythe, Spanners, and Mopey plan to drive two cars through Nehmenweld.
Surprisingly, it was Kivenaal who pointed out that “Team Flaming Gallahs” would be an interesting sight, just based only on their team members’ names. I don’t see how Kivenaal got anything out of the names “Taint “Gia” Jimmy, Taymin “Ben” Pala, Eddie, Jane, or Kit,” but they do plan to bring one car.
We don’t know much about “Team Friendship,” other than that one of their crew is called “Freddie,” and the other is “Riley,” and they plan to bring one car.
Kaylie was visibly excited when “Team Hillbilly Rollers” turned in their application. Janne Mäkilalo, Andreas Kero, Marie Pesula, and Arne Lindberg are confirmed to be bringing two vehicles.
“Team Sane Insanity” plans to bring two cars and three people: Raymond Li, Nathan Wang, and Andrew Park.
The next team is a bit interesting to me, from the fact that everyone else so far has had at least one car with two people in it. But, “Faolan Industries” intends to bring two vehicles and only two crew, Ze’ev Wulfrith and Storm Breedlove.
“Team Taciturn” seemed a little unusual at first. One car, two people, Cal Street and Curt House. Malavera is very suspicious at how “clean” their background check is. He says that "People always have some dirt in their past. A parking ticket, speeding ticket, even something as simple as some credit card bills, but Malavera says it’s like they just “popped into existence.” He says he’s suspecting they’re under something Earth calls “Witness Protection.”
Another single-car team is “Team ReUnity” with Jian Hui, Anthony Park, Seung Ji, and Ayumi Miyazaki planning to go on this voyage with everyone else.
Jessica Lombaerts, Alexis Ahaual, Shay Hirvonen, Lazar Kandyba, Laura Kamenev, Giorgi Ingorkova, Tracey Maxou, Magnolia Coleman, and Kiel Shamble are the members of “Team Spy Kids,” intending on bringing two cars. Apparently, some of them were there last year, so Kaylie’s a bit excited.
“Team J3” is another interstellar team, consisting of Johnny, Jackie, and Jacia. They intend to bring two vehicles along.
“Team Aeromad” plans to bring Jenny, Leo, and Max, along with two vehicles straight into the camp for an adventure.
“Team Black Rabbit Disavowed” had Kaylie a bit concerned. However, Lorelei Emmerling Rothbauer, Mona, Catherine Ridley, Noelle Markman Porter, and Klaus Engel plan to bring two cars along this year.
Wilbur Statius Scott, Miranda Isabel Scott, Victoria Jane Cole, Michael Charles Cole, and John William Burr make up “Team Sheriff Scott’s Posse,” who plan to bring two vehicles along.
“Team 48656c696f73,” also known by Kayden as “Are you fucking kidding me?!” and by Malavera as “Team 486,” plan to bring two cars to haul 4 people: Dr. Miriam Brand, Victor Messer, Friede Steinmann, and Friedrich Steinmann.
Isobel MacAllan, George Peterson, Raina Kurniaputri, and Hamasaki Mei make up “Team Magdelena,” bringing another two cars.
Kaylie groaned when “Team Machinas Con Passione” returned this year. Sure, they registered two cars, but her comment was, “Twin Suns, they were idiots last year.” Kivenaal had a savage smile on his face, but refused to explain why he was laughing when I asked. Kayden called them “Five idiots in two shitboxes, with half-a-brain to share.” I hope that Johnny Scarfiotti, Ryouci Katou, Hikiko Katou, Giacomo Scarfiotti, and Alessio Scarfiotti are better than Kayden says, but… I will not get my hopes up.
“Team Cunning Stunts” is another bundle of “Potentially interesting,” bringing two cars for a crew of 5 people: Zachary Kenway, Liviana Harrington, Sophie Harrington, Murray Harrington, and Lara White.
Carol Nanashi, Shikino Miya, and Regan Reynald are “Team Till D End,” bringing two cars into this run.
“Team Basedworks” got a set of raised eyebrows from Malavera, followed by, "I wonder what they plan to bring. We’ll be waiting to see what Pierce Holman, Ryuzo “Big Block” Wakaba, Zach Tempest, and Nathaniel James Jr. choose to bring as their two vehicles.
“Team GUNSHIP” is another interesting one. Paul Jäger and Aaron Jäger intend to bring one car along.
Then, last, but not least, there’s “Team 4 Dicks in a Truck.” Domenik, Rose, Christian, and Riley plan to bring one vehicle. Malavera sighed when he’d seen their team name and said, “They better not be. Or at least, be dicks to each other, not the other teams.”
There’s the 27 additional teams along for our trip. With any luck, we’ll actually have a full campsite.
Kasiya startled as the sound of 25 cents worth of pennies hitting the cab roof rang out. He saved his document, shaking his head before shoving open his door to confront the coin-tosser.
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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PART 0.4 - PROLOGUE
Earlier parts
Pre-prologue part 1
Pre-prologue part 2
Prologue part 0.1
Prologue part 0.15 - Interlude
Prologue part 0.2
Prologue part 0.3
31st of March 2023
Now, with both the Rugger and the Wolverine prepared for rallying, loaded up with food, spare parts, tools and everything that could be needed, the team was at Janne’s place early in the morning. Or, at least three of them. Waiting for Arne to arrive was crucial. After all, they needed a driver of the Wolverine…
“Finally, I can get wasted for two weeks and nobody can even do anything about it!”, Marie said and filled yet another empty spot in the Sanju with some more cans.
“Why are you bringing beer for two years with you then?”, Andreas asked with more than a grain of salt.
A battered burgundy 2005 Volvo XC70 parked a bit behind the Sanju. Not too much of a surprise, Arne jumped out of it. More surprisingly maybe, was the crutches. And the plastered leg.
“What the fuck have you been doing now?”, Janne asked.
“Just doing stuff I probably shouldn’t have done”, Arne answered and laughed a bit.
“Well…. I guess that you’re really not in the shape to drive the Sanju now…with all the double clutching and everything?”, Janne said, scratching his head.
“Nope…Marie has to drive it I guess.”, Arne said.
“What…. What the fuck…I CAN’T DRIVE THAT THING!”, Marie said.
“Do you think that there is anything called I can’t drive this vehicle in the army?”, Arne said, laughing. “How many 19 year old meatheads do you think they have put in the driver’s seat of those, and they have managed to survive for 40 years still. You can’t break it even if you intend to do it!”.
Arne stuffed some chewing tobacco in his mouth, took a green “Learner driver” magnetic sign out of the XC70 and slapped it on the bumper of the Sanju.
“Now just jump into it so you get the feel for driving it before we leave”, Arne said.
Marie jumped into the Sanju, Arne coming with her a short while later, after having managed to pull himself up in the cab with the plastered leg. She started up the 8VZ engine with a roar.
“I think it is running a bit rough”, she said. “Where is the choke? Is it here?”
“NO, DON’T TOUCH TH…”
The Sanju rolled backwards after Marie pulling the parking brake release, and kept rolling until something standing in the way stopped it with a loud crunch.
“Do you happen to need any broken XC70 parts for your scrap stash?”, Andreas asked Janne. “Because now you probably have them.”
“That lady is just a disaster that is not even waiting to happen, it is constantly happening”, Janne said with a loud sigh.
Managing to get it in gear, the Sanju was rolling forward. Marie rolled up to where Janne and Andreas was standing, much to the fear of the two of them. She rolled down the window.
“Do you mind if I stop at my place to pick up something I forgot, now when I have to take a test drive in this anyway?”, she asked.
“Nah, just do it.”, Janne said.
The Wolverine left Janne’s place with grinding gears.
“What do you think that she forgot?”, Janne asked Andreas?
“Well, some barrel full of moonshine probably”, Andreas said. “Either that, or something completely pointless, that she just HAVE to bring with her. I know her too well.”
The Wolverine came back a fair while later.
“Now I guess we are ready to go”, Marie said, when jumping out of it.
“Why do you have a bleeding nose now, too?”, Janne asked Arne.
“Oh nothing”, Arne said. “Just the dashboard being a bit grumpy and attacking me for some reason, I guess.”, he grumbled.
“Why is there a damn mailbox hanging from the rear bumper?”, Andreas asked.
“Why do you even care?”, Marie answered. “It’s not like if I should have been bothered if you had a mailbox hanging from your rear bumper!”
“This…Isn’t going really well, right?”, Janne asked, a bit worried.
“I’ve seen worse”, Arne said, as it seemed not bothered by the situation at all.
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Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures, Take 2: The Tale of Alessio Scarfiotti.
Feburary 5th, 1983.
Miami, Florida.
An indescript garage in an undisclosed area.
Push It To The Limit (scarface) - YouTube
It’s often said that familiarity breeds contempt. Get enough of anything, and, with time, you’'l eventually find yourself at a point where you’re desperate to get rid of it, or apathetic to it’s existence entirely. Alessio Scarfiotti, a man who typically adheres to sayings and superstitions, found that this one particular saying didn’t always hold up. Although he’d been in the business of engine building for well over 20 years at this point, that satisfaction of starting a completed engine never left him. Like clockwork, he inserted the key in the ignition, twisted it, and six cylinders roared to life in front of him. He let the engine turn over, revving a bit to make sure it was adequately hydrated, and that oil was moving through the system, and that the turbo was in working order.
“Holy shit. You actually did it.” A stunned voice from the back of the dingy garage rang out, belonging to the client who had requested this particular job. Alessio looked back to meet the young man’s eyes, doing his upmost to hide his pleasure at another job well done. “Of course I did it. I always complete a job. Not like I had a choice this time.” The younger of the two men looked down, scratching his head as he took a peak at the new engine before him. Though from the outside, the car containing it was little more then a psuedo eastern-european inspired family friendly shitbox, the engine inside was a gussied up cop beater designed solely for one purpose: To capitalize on the miami drug boom of the 80s, to power the Faenza Spirito for its new job, to be the italian mob’s grocery getter.
“Oh, um… Yeah. I almost forgot.” The younger man, the one who’d soon be using the car to ferry cocaine in and out of Miami soon, fished around in his pockets for Alessio’s payment, and handed him 12,000 USD in phat bandz. Alessio turned to his client, a stern, dead look on his face. “I’m holding up my end of the deal. Don’t fuck me with this.” The young man raised his hands in apprehension, stepping away from the much smaller Alessio. “H… Hey man! Don’t worry about it! I got you!”
Alessio had found himself in a bit of financial trouble, making connections to the mob was the only way he could ensure the livelihood of his family, while also continuing the 43 year old’s career, which by now was treading deep water as the veteran failed to find adequate sponsorship to fund his entry in the World Sportscar Championship. Though it was dirty work, the best part would be that Alessio would never be subjected to this car again, and could quickly erase it from his mind ASAP. That thought alone gave the career racer, and now part time criminal, some peace.
March 10th, 2023.
Naples, Italy.
Residence of Alessio Scarfiotti.
Holiday - YouTube
Plink! a hole tore itself clean through the target dummy, leaving a hole where there had once been an “X” printed on it’s chest. In other words, Alessio had finally gotten his first bullseye of the day at his homemade range, and let that same smile of satisfaction, which was usually the extent of his facial expression, slowly crawl across his face. A nice, serene, moment of peace. W-wait, Hang on, what is that?
“FATHER! FATHER! I HAVE NEWS! FATHER!” Giacomo Scarfiotti came sprinting out of Alessio’s mansion, already out of breath from the yard and a half run from his patio to where Alessio was shooting. So much for one day of peace. “Yes, Giacomo? what is it?” Giacomo was too knackered to reply, simply shoving a paper at his father, who took it with apprehension and took a moment to read the words. “SHITBOX RALLY - 2023” Upon hearing the words, Alessio’s mind darted back instantly to the last shitbox he’d worked on, over 40 years ago now. That damned yellow Spirito.
Alessio looked down at the paper, and looked back at his son, who was still starved for air in the minute of reminiscing Alessio had done. “Giacomo. Let’s go on a little trip. you and I. Whaddya say?” Giacomo looked up to his father, suddenly a bill of clean health. “Yes, Of course! Let’s go on yet another shitbox adventure!”
Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures, Take 2: The Tale of Alessio Scarfiotti. - FIN
4 Likes
Ripsaw end at the beginning
I’m not going to write much, but someone named Eric Lyle Issac Zachary Ivan Patrick Earl Alex Zane Ian Ethan stole the two cars from team Ripsaw and we were left stranded :l
Jacia has just made a terrible realisation that there wont be any properly sanitary on site bathrooms
I want to know if anyone in this challenge does actually have a functioning loo that she could use, and that would mean we could roleplay her asking to use it.
She would happily pay per use, she just really hates the idea of a squat and drop
Take the bushes or dig a hole. Also, most of us haven’t have one either so you’d probably have to ask the locals.
@IDK158, does that mean peeing in a bottle or wetting the seat?
false alarm guys, Jacia has just watched an episode of top gear and knows what to do
1 Like
Correction made.
Team VSmgAB & Team Shift Happens
Prologue, Part 1
Prologue, Part 2
Prologue, Part 3
This post contains relevant info to everyone using campsite power.
March 31st, 2023, Shitbox Rally Starting Location, Nevada, 8:09 PM
With all participants now present, at least theoretically, Valentin once again shuffled through the stack of 31 contracts requesting power from the generator he was sat in. He felt somewhat bad, having to turn down one team’s third request due to lack of capacity. Nevertheless, he did not expect that each and every plug would actually be occupied come the start of the event. He got out of the car, turning down his nanites to select “Normal” mode to avoid coming across as overly agitated and or nervous once he would address the entirety of the starting area regarding power supply. By this time, it was already dark, but the lights that were set up earlier still provided ample visibility in the starting area.
With the loose stack of contracts in his hands and his phone in his pocket, he made his way over to Kaylie of Shift Happens:
“Hello there. Uhm… i may have failed to account for the need to gather the participants in order to hand over power supply equipment and such…” Valentin admitted rather sheepishly.
Kaylie smiled. “I can get everyone to gather up. If they can’t hear me over the music or conversations, well… I can make myself heard. If I make the announcement and people don’t respond, and you see me take a deep breath, cover your ears,” Kaylie admitted.
She walked over to the Home Unit, looking amusingly catlike as she crouched, then leaped up and caught the edge of the roof rack welded into the structure of the vehicle, pulling herself up onto the top of the metal slats over the fans.
Kaylie took a deep breath and yelled out, “Everyone, listen up! We need everyone who signed a power contract to come to the center of camp!”
When just a bit over half of the camp came over, Kaylie sighed. She took a deep breath, threw her head back a bit, then unleashed a full-and-proper tiger’s roar, echoing across the camp. “I said everyone!” Kaylie yelled a few moments later.
With Kaylie perched atop the Home Unit, it was very hard for Valentin to judge what she was doing up there. As such, he misjudged her actions and took her roar almost directly to the face, resulting in him curling up and covering his ears as best he could.
The attempt proved to be of little help, as he could be seen rubbing both ears in irritation after she was done rounding up participants via excess volume, complete with groans of discomfort.
“Oooowwww…” he moans, trying to reorient himself while noticing a distinct muffling to everything surrounding him acoustically.
“There go my eardrums…” he says, already speaking more loudly than usual.
Takaraya startled as Kaylie belted out a full-throated roar above his head, then stepped outside with a light grimace. As Val spoke up a bit louder than usual, Takaraya motioned to Val to speak a little quieter, then said, “You’re speaking louder than needed. Please try not to strain yourself.”
Kaylie, on the other hand, rasped out a quiet, “Sorry, Val. I’ve only ever done that once before, and it was by accident.”
“Goddamnit…” he mumbles quietly, in an attempt to not destroy his voice like Kaylie did his eardrums.
It took another long moment before Valentin had collected himself enough to actually start addressing the participants.
He then starts his public service announcement, Takaraya’s advice flying right out the window as he needed to make himself heard:
"This PSA only is relevant to the teams that have requested the use of power through the Valentin Schrant Mobil Generator AB. I shall now reiterate how the service will be provided as detailed in the contract.
At the end of each stage, i shall start the generator as soon as reasonably possible.
It being started will be announced by a blow of the whistle from the generator car.
Valentin then pauses a bit to elaborately point at Robert, stood in the middle of camp and idling away.
The generator will be ran continuously throughout the night until half an hour before departure the next morning. Any teams still plugged in by that time will be unplugged without further notice.
A 100m 400V, three phase extension cord and a 400V to 230V phase splitter will be provided by the VSmgAB for each registered plug.
The teams are responsible for transporting aforementioned equipment between locations during the day.
Lost or forgotten equipment will NOT be replaced and thus renders the affected plug number inoperable.
If anyone, either deliberately or accidentally, trips the plug-specific circuit breaker, they are to notify me directly if they want power supply to be restored.
Restoration of supply by anyone else is physically impossible due to the breaker panel being contained within the generator car, which will be locked unless access is required.
The same applies if the master circuit breaker is tripped, thus cutting supply to the entire camp, in which case restoration will take longer to accomplish due to more effort being needed to pinpoint the cause.
I shall now name each team and their respective pl… wait a minute… what the fuck? Please stand by…
Valentin pauses, looking around the crowd in front of him, spotting two cars within.
Realizing that they have no drivers and that they are moving about in ways very atypical for inanimate cars, he somewhat frantically shuffles through his stack of contracts, fishing out that of team Friendship! :D (@Edsel), which in turn is torn in two in front of everyone. He then pulls out his phone, frantically tapping around on it in an attempt to re-assign the now freed-up plugs to other teams he initially denied further capacity. He then pockets the phone and returns to the crowd, continuing as if nothing happened. At least he tried, but it was fairly obvious that he kept a close eye on what the two sentient cars were doing.
Due to no legal entity being present, the supply contract for 8 Kilowatts of power between the VSmgAB and Team
Friendship! :Dhas been voided.For the remaining teams, i shall name each of them by name and their respective plug numbers.
Each number corresponds to one extension cord and a three-phase splitter, to be fetched from the pile over there.
He then points to a neat stack of boxes near one of the green trailers, belonging to the military half of VSmgAB.
Valentin Schrant Mobil Generator AktieBolag! Numbers ONE, TWENTY-TWO and TWENTY-NINE.
Team Shift Happens! Numbers TWO, THREE and THIRTY.
Team M.A.D.! Number FOUR.
…
He then continues this pattern for the remaining teams as follows:
Teams and their Plug Numbers (in order of entry permission date; excluding those not drawing power at all)
- VSmgAB: #1; #22; #29
- Shift Happens: #2; #3; #30
- Team M.A.D: #4
- Team Sinesian Rejects: #5
- Team Not-So-Slow: #6; #23
- The Ambassadors: #7
- Team Mravolisnki-Chitco: #8; #24
- Team HETS: #9
- Team Flaming Gallahs: #10
- Team Sane Insanity: #12
- Faolan Industries: #13
- Team Taciturn: #14
- Team TrUnity: #15; #26; #11
- Team SpyKids: #16; #27
- Aeromad: #17
- Team Magdalena: #18
- Machinas Con Passione: #19; #28
- Basedworks: #20
- Team Gunship: #21
You may now collect the equipment in accordance to your allocated plug numbers. Any further inquiries are to be made at the generator car, where i shall be found shortly.
Thank you for you attention and have a nice evening ahead of Shitbox Rally 2023.
With the speech now over with, he turns back to Kaylie, still up on the Home Unit HD-GV.
“Thank you, i am going to get business rolling, i guess…” he calmly states before heading off towards Robert.
Once there, business went as usual as he helped the participants hook up their conumers to the “grid” as best he could.
OOC note:
The cable is about 80lbs (36KG) in weight and about the physical size of an automotive tire when coiled up.
The phase splitter box weights 20lbs (9KG) and is a little larger than a shoebox.
Kaylie smiled, then gave Valentin a thumbs up instead of trying to speak as he thanked her, as her throat was now quite sore after her “little” roar.
Takaraya, on the other hand, knocked on the door of the Carry All’s cab and told Kasiya, “Might want to get the Carry All plugged in. You’ve got a cable now.”
Kasiya got out of the cab, setting his notebook and pen on the bench seat before walking toward Val to collect the third cable.
Valentin did little regarding Kasiya getting the cable itself, since, all of the other teams were presumably doing the same, but did mention again that it was plug #30 where it belonged to.
Eventually, the camp, or more accurately those that wanted it, was powered up, made evident by a noticeable increase in load shown on the laptop screen acting as the ECU of the generator car.
He watches that panel for a while before concluding that everything was running as it should, at which point he left the car to do it’s thing, locked to avoid tampering.
Meanwhile at the military half of VSmgAB…
Not much was happening for them for most of the afternoon and early evening, until the roll call was made patently obvious by Kaylie, scaring the recruits.
“What. The. Fuck. Was. THAT!?”, Hans called out, looking in the general direction of the HD-GV home unit, followed by all the others, including Constantin and Norse.
“That is new…” Constantin said, “Let’s get over there. We are getting power, after all.”
The ‘speshul forces’ followed orders, their annoyance reignited by the fact that they HAD power but been unaware of it. Mary, however, seemed distracted.
“Giddy Up, Jacknabbit!”, Constantin repeated, prompting her to play catch-up with the remaining group.
Once there, Valentin’s speech started, which was of little interest to the recruits or Constantin. Mary, once again lost herself in different thoughts.
“That voice… hmmmmm…” she mumbled quietly, collecting an awkward stare from Jacques and William either side of him.
“You think she’s into him?” William whispered to Jacques across Mary, who was perfectly oblivious to them talking.
“Into who?” Jacques replied in confusion,
“Into Valentin. Look at her. She’s been practically staring at the guy for the past four hours, at least.”
“Everyone says that girls like tall, muscular men. Looks like she’s evidence number one.”
“You make a very solid point, hehe…”
By this time, the speech was over, they returned to their trailers, fetching the two additional cables on the way there.
Much to the dismay of Mary, who volunteered to get the power hooked up, Constantin elected to do that himself with aid from Valentin, as it was patently obvious that she did not listen to anything.
Regardless, the evening was nothing ‘speshul’ for the time being.
5 Likes
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 0.3: GREETINGS CYBORG and Feelings? Not so sure
GREETINGS CYBORG
After some rest, it was decided Pi is to be interacting with Shift Happens for getting potential camp-relevant info, by being lead of team by vote of literally everyone else.
She is also there to inform they arrived.
Granted, she is also only returning member, which was justification for being promoted into team leader.
Now ones that are aware will ask how is she supposed to talk to SH since she doesnt know English and rings will be shared next day
For ones not familiar with said rings:
These rings are made by hosts and have two functions, one being that they allow wearer to speak and understand language needed for convo.
They are supposed to allow everyone to understand locals in Nehmenweld, but do come useful for cases of likes of Pi as well.
More on them will be heard by Shift Happens during driver meeting.
As such following convo is in Serb, only language Pi knows by herself
-We made this as per request of Andrea.
-For me?
-Yes, so you can talk to hosts. Also would be able to provide some music: i had transfered data from Mrdja’s LG phone and there is lot of music and videos.
This goes on your hand and allows to switch between two modes, middle position is neither mode active. Andrea also has remote and can control this herself.
Try it in this one.
-Ok.
-Now, i hope you understand me even tho im talking in English now.
If so, head over to them now.
Since her excitement had shown she indeed understood, Chicota let her be.
Full of confidence, she searched for whoever will be unfortunate victim of confusion.
With that being said, Andrea had been looking in direction and had remote on stand by.
Anyway…
At this point, @Madrias and one or more of his characters will be relevant
-Ok, im excited to meet…
She is cut off and walking could be now heard, followed by different voice.
If you are interested in what voice and stuff, its this basically
-GREETINGS CYBORG
Pi was confused…
(Chainsaw sound time)
…wrong setting. She was fumbling for setting…
-Fuck you (this was transmitted through speakers and was Pi`s speech)
(More chainsaw time)
(turns towards our vehicles)
-Andrea, stop it.
Andrea couldnt contain her happiness about fact her idea worked.
Decided to let go of remote
-I REALLY hope its now set to translating what i have to say.
Kaylie looked up from the table as Pi approached, having some technical difficulties, courtesy of a prankster on their own team. She smiled, placing her chrome hand on the table and pulling their sign-up sheet over to her.
-In case it translated swearing, feel free to note it wasnt directed at you.
Either way, im Pi Chitco from Mravolinski-Chitco team and…
(Speaker was starting to say WHO ARE YOU… in unfamiliar voice, followed by:
IM IF PROTOTYPE LQ84I…voice in which that greeting from beggining was said
Pi had recognised this one and stopped it
Ofc yes, certain someone with remote had switched setting again)
-again, excuse me for moment…
Andrea, STOP IT FOR REAL!
Ok, so im here to say we arrived and to receive potential camp relevant info.
We need to know if our truck and car are at correct spot: truck is blue, has camper addon and is same as previous year and is there
(Using hand to indicate position)
Car is beside it
Kaylie responded:
"Well, Pi, it’s good to see you and your team are back. Good to know the truck is the same as last year, having it confirmed means it’s here under the “Once a Shitbox, Always a Shitbox” rule. The other vehicle, we’ll get Malavera to check over for tech inspection.
-We brought some radios with us this time and they are installed in them already
Have no idea if they are properly set for talking to you lot, but work for us.
We…tested them.
Used to be police ones, now they are ours.
Is there anything else we might need to know or something you might want to know regarding our team? I will answer as best as i could, but if stuff is too complicated and i dont know it, i will say so and direct you to someone that does know.
When Pi asked if there was anything else they may need to know, or anything she wanted to know, Kaylie smiled again.
“There will be a meeting later, regarding teams who have requested power, where all of the cables will be handed out. Rings will be passed around at the driver’s meeting along with some advice and some rules for this year’s trip. As for things I need to know, they’re right here,” Kaylie said, tapping a chrome finger on the entry form.
-I dont think i would be really needed atm at our team, so if i can help you lot…i would be free to do so.
Just would ofc need to announce im elsewhere to rest of group.
Otherwise im going to rejoin them.
“We’ve got a fair bit of help already,” Kaylie mentioned, motioning to Malavera, Kasiya, and Takaraya moving toward the two cars to do the tech inspections on them. “I know, Kasiya looks scarily close to a Dyre, but he’s not one, and he’s really a gentle giant. Strong as hell,” she said, watching as both Kasiya and Takaraya worked together to lift the vehicles off the ground one after the other so Malavera could have a look underneath, “but gentle.” As both cars were returned to the ground, Malavera gave Kaylie a thumbs up. “Looks like they’re both legal, so, have fun at the Shitbox Rally,” Kaylie said, shaking Pi’s hand with her natural one.
“Im not afraid of them, but would be concerned about well-being of my best friend.
Ironically the very fella that kinda gave me rough time at beginning of this convo
Seems it will be interesting to see how Amanda will react on them, seeing im pretty sure she is eyeing this team bcos they are…or well, you are, big and strong in general.
Basically only team that has kinda worthy members in her opinion”
That being said…" Pi continues while shaking her hand “i will indeed have lot of fun.”
With that, she returned back to team.
Fair bit of warning: there will be quite some sparring action in next part
DMs regarding this would have “First contact” in title
Granted, noone was actually hurt, but still…worth mentioning
Ah, not-a-weaklings approaching
Aint going to ping Madrias twice in same post, but this time we are talking big guns…literally
-This is…fine.
-I so far see some weaklings…oh boy, those guys over there seem to be very big and strong.
-They are, actually. Thats Shift Happens for you.
I have seen them on television when they attended some earlier 24h Clunkers challenge and saw them in person on previous year`s one.
You might think you are very strong and compared to most of our team, you likely are.
But i advise you to not go around and test pecking order in that department.
Observe what they do and how they do it and im sure you might be able to gauge their strength off that.
Considering they are also our hosts, that method is for better.
-Awww. But they dont seem to be doing some good stuff for estimating that.
-True. Tbh we are all on same side anyway, so fighting would be contraproductive.
Now if someone or somebody attacks the camp, thats different story…
I heard there were few fights last year, wouldnt mind that happening again.
-Considering im not skilled fighter and have very little experience with guns, im daring to hope other way around.
-I will protect you.
-With what? Bare hands? No offense, but you aint carrying weapon or armor.
-Not needed, i dealed with many bad guys before.
-Hmm, whos not to say that potential opponents wouldnt be like them (roughly waving his hand in equally rough direction of hosts) in physical prowess?
-Havent thought on that, but you make good point.
Hmm, i could potentially try to see if we can manage something.
-Speaking of which, you might find that out sooner than later.
Considering we used English, they prob heard us and decided to check who doubts in their physical strength.
And they decided to bring their finest in this regard, as in biggest and strongest
Indeed trio delegated to tech inspection was approaching
After they checked cars and confirmed they are legal, Malavera motioned to the two to set down the Saguaro T-REE, which they did with casual grace, then looked over to where the conversation about “physical prowess” had taken place.
“I mean, if you wanted a taste of fresh Nevadan sand, all you need to do is ask. I will warn you, though, the three of us come from a world with higher gravity. Takaraya makes Kaylie’s left arm look weak. I’m a lot of power in a relatively small package. Kasiya may be a bit of a pacifist, but he can fight,” Malavera quipped.
Kasiya sighed. “If you insist on antagonizing another team, Malavera, can we at least learn the names of the people we’re fighting?”
Takaraya crossed his arms, then said, “I’m not taking this any further than careful sparring. You won’t land a proper strike on me, but I also will not hit back.”
Malavera smirked. “I am Malavera Caller-of-the-Moons. These two are Takaraya Wintermoon and Kasiya Wintermoon respectively,” he said, motioning to Takaraya, then Kasiya. “You want a challenge, pick one.”
Mat wimped like a child in sight of these massive lads
-This isnt…my idea…pls dont hurt…
Amanda: Ignore the crybaby, i honestly started the talk.
And…i dont know who Kaylie is, so i dont think she would be useful reference.
Pi, that had returned from Kaylie:
Really, you NEEDED to startle the beasts. These are nothing like any opponernt you ever seen before.
-True, but i will not back down from fight i instigated.
As it would be rude not to introduce myself, im Amanda Mravolinski-Loojoephantom.
It really doesnt matter who i will be fighting.
Chicota: You really are extremely arrogant asshole.
-And will continue to do so to the end
Shall we continue?
Malavera smirked. “Out of interest for your safety, Amanda, I won’t put you up against Takaraya. Pi may remember from last year when I kicked their truck. Takaraya has robotic limbs that far surpass his natural strength. However, Kasiya is only a little smaller than a Dyre, which we faced last year. Kaylie,” he said, pointing to the white-furred tigress with a chrome left arm, “killed two of them last year. One with a wrench, and one with nothing more than that left hand of hers.”
Kasiya sighed, then pulled his shirt off and handed it to Malavera. “At least this way I won’t bleed on it,” he grumbled. “Now, Amanda, I will give you fair warning: I weigh 500 kilograms, and I am stronger than I look. I may normally hate fighting, but I agree to this only because this is a casual sparring match. So, what are the terms for victory?”
-I admitedly havent thought about how to determine victory.
Chicota: It doesnt really help that…i have no idea…
Mat: 500 kg…thats immense…
I guess you never faced someone quite that heavy
How you arent even afraid?
Amanda: I honestly did not faced someone of that size before in fight, but tbf i too happen to be stronger than i look.
Just…dont hurt each other badly…
I…cant watch…
Mat left scene
-I will throw first punch i guess, as its not good to prolong this any longer.
Amanda had thrown a punch.
It packed quite a bit to it, but, as was always the case with both her and Chicota, was very predictable
Kasiya decided to follow what he’d been taught a while ago, that it’s always better to dodge if you can, and only block if you can’t dodge, taking a quick step to his right. “You’re quick, I’ll grant that,” he admitted, before using his size to his advantage and sending a kick Amanda’s way, reducing the odds that she’d get the chance to hit him in the face for trying to punch at her height.…and dodging was good option and Amanda now knew that this isnt one of those idiots she is usually encountering.
Kick was dealt with fact she wasnt taught to same principles and received hit by said leg.
Apart from distance that was now tad bit greater as she was taken aback by it, there werent any further consequences.
“Being quick at 10% of mass isnt much to brag about…that being said, you arent exactly slow yourself…
And judging by kick, you are far from being weak”
Which was followed by running back up to black mountain of fur and trying to punch again from said running.
“I will admit, I’m pulling my strikes a bit. I’ve learned humans can be a bit fragile,” Kasiya replied. As Amanda ran toward him and made a running punch, Kasiya’s attempt to dodge still resulted in getting hit surprisingly hard. After a half-startled, half-pained yelp, his response to dealing with someone now fighting basically on his toes was a somewhat-clumsy attempt to drop a heavy fist into Amanda’s back.
Takaraya sighed. “Get some distance, Kasiya!” he called out. He then looked to Malavera and shook his head. “He does well when facing someone of similar size. Not so well when he’s up against someone just over half his height.”
“I put him in because he’s less likely to actually hurt her. You’d dodge until she’s tired, or land one hit and it’d be all over. I’d have to be concerned that I might swipe instead of punch. Kasiya, on the other hand, well… He knows humans are fragile.”
“Fully agreed, they are very fragile. You can very heavily hurt them using rather primitive weaponry like knifes or hammers.
I think only relevant experience was facing down 5 of them in some parking lot, as our usual human opponents attack in…actually very same manner i did so far.”
Chicota: I guess after we get back from event, you might have courage to go up against our very own Aydar Senior.
-That would be still too far fetched, i guess.
Kasiya definitely has solid fighting experience and i did learned fair bit already from him
Amanda decided to punch up again, but this time tried to get more approachable target, thus ending her move with prob roughest fist bump Kasiya had with someone based on Earth
Kasiya smiled, then said, “You’re tougher than expected. I was worried with the kick that I may have over-done it.” He then looked to Chicota and mentioned, “I don’t know who exactly “Aydar Senior” is, but I’m not much for fighting. Can I fight? Yes. But I prefer diplomacy over destruction. After all,” he said, lightly shaking his hand after the fist-bump, “I could almost lift your truck if I really wanted to.”
Takaraya chuckled. “He’s not joking, either. If he could get a grip and balance it, I see no reason why he wouldn’t be able to.”
Kasiya shook his head lightly, then, seeing an opportunity, somewhat returned the favor to Amanda with an almost-just-as-rough fist-bump of his own, followed by a polite bow ending the fight. “You do hit harder than I expected. Glad I don’t need to use a clutch or I’d be hating my job of driving in the morning,” Kasiya admitted.
-Well, im supposed to take punches and kicks easily…after all, my usual opponents use guns, rifles and stuff that would otherwise be considered tools but are used as weapons
-She is cyborg utilising my nanomachines…its quite a bit of a story and possibly very confusing one to boot.
Im pretty sure not even Fighting Mode would allow her to lift truck above her head, so…you are stronger.
And seems, smarter fighter.
Upon hearing comment on clutch, Amanda wasnt fully happy
-Thats not exactly nice to hear
-As was the case with challenging them to fight in first place, asshole.
Now your behaviour might put us in trouble.
Also maybe some apology would be in place.
-My behaviour would likely put only me in trouble and they will decide to hate me for that
Not that i will be surprized.
Being aware that you are an asshole means you gotta deal with fact you arent going to be liked or loved
Apology would be logically in place…tbf i kinda enjoyed this fair bit.
We will prob never get along in our view of world, Kasiya, but sure enough im not going to challenge your capabilities in this regard.
-I hope this will be last time too to challenge someone from other team
-Yes, i promise as such.
Also…in case we are about to task something that will endanger the camp…count on few of us joining battleground.
As for that Aydar Senior, he also prefers to stay on not using force, but is very much terrifying to potential opponents when he does resort to violence.
He is…not part of this team and i really dont think we will ever bring him around.
-We should let them go back to their vehicles and group.
(Refering to trio)
See you later, then.
Pi had decided to share the info she obtained from Kaylie with rest and team will continue staying around cars, doing nothing of particular mention
As for members of Shift Happens…
Kasiya gave a polite nod, accepting his shirt back from Malavera and pulling it back on. As the three of them walked back to their vehicles, it was clear that Kasiya wasn’t actually that injured as he was walking fine, though was, perhaps, a bit less graceful in climbing back into the truck cab to write a few notes about the team he’d just interacted with.
Feelings? Not so sure
Andrea had finished pranking her best friend as per plan and decided to move attention elsewhere.
She noticed Chicota was kinda busy looking in certain direction.
-What are you looking at?
-What?
-Im pretty sure you heard me right…
-I did, but i havent been looking at thing.
-I may happen to be aware. Just so you know, im still undecided on any feelings towards anyone…well, apart from my best friend over there (notioning at Pi).
And knowing your love history, i would advise you to do same
-Oh, you know my love history? Im not convinced.
-Really? How about you being able to do certain bed exercise all night?
With multiple partners, to boot.
Chicota was shocked at this surprizing, but correct statement
-How tf you know about that?
-Been asking around about my…lesser-known teammates.
-That isnt information many people know.
-Good thing A isnt considered as “people”, then.
-Oh…
-Im also aware where exactly you looked…and can ask the following in case you decide to pursue further than looking
Are you looking at person that is physically there, or at someone similar, but not present?
There is certainly going to be some difference between the two.
-You got incredibly wise…
-Had tad bit of time to work on that. Expecting of you to do the same.
I think you might need it…
Rest of the pack
-We are here and this time for real. Im excited.
-Dont get too excited dad, wouldnt be good for your health. But ye, looking forward to what this brings.
-“Dad” is really nice word. Hopefully someone would be able to call you as such soon.
-We…talked about it…probably several times. Yes, we are going in unknown territory with lot of potential in many things.
I really doubt that finding female would be one of those.
We arent going to stay anywhere for long time, moving on next day towards different place.
-Pi told as such?
-Yes.
Some sounds of sad old dog
-I honestly think that my ship has sailed long time ago. Would like to have offspring, but…at this age i can only provide so much.
I mean, how do you plan on attracting female dogs yourself? Fly her using piss jet?
Well you can try, but im sure you would bend in half if we load something as heavy as chihuahua on top of you.
-True…one can only hope.
I think best idea for now is to watch that group of cars going round and around
-Probably some competitors of ours in event.
As 14:47 neared in, it became obvious they were indeed fellow participants.
Chirping voice indicated that they mostly relied on navigation system, which was reasonable excuse
3 Likes
Team Taciturn, Ep. 3: Car!
14th March 2023, the town of Prince George, BC
After a trek of a couple of minutes through woodland, Cal and Curt arrived in Prince George, and with help from their pocket AI, made their way to the small, but surprisingly versatile row of used car dealers.
They approached the first lot with several used cars placed on a gravel forecourt, decorated with lots of colourful tinsel around the area.
The jovial owner approached them. Welcome, welcome, gents! You are looking for a new set of wheels, I guess?
Yes That was Curt.
Excellent, excellent. What price range do you have in mind?
500 Curt again.
The enthusiasm immediately faded from the salesman. Well… Then I am… sorry, folks. Perhaps you will have more luck somewhere else…
Cal and Curt exchanged a quick glance and then made their way to the next lot…
… where basically the same story played out. They did not have different luck on the third lot either, but they got a helpful hint from the rather gruff salesperson there. There is a gas station at the end of town on 5th, they sometimes sell old beater cars. Ask for Paul.
Cal and Curt nodded their thanks and indeed made their way to the gas station with helpful directions from their pocket AI.
Approaching the gas station on the outskirts of Prince George, they immediately saw a green station wagon and a white subcompact parked haphazardly in front of a closed garage door, and a person in overalls working on the white car.
Paul? This time Cal started.
A grey haired man disentangled himself from the white car’s engine bay and took a good look at Cal and Curt in their lumberjack shirt-and-jeans outfits. Yes? You are interested in one of these two?
Perhaps.
They don’t look like much, but they do run well. Just making sure it stays that way Paul points into the open engine bay of the white car.
Price?
Um, 750 for the white Seongu, very reliable. And 600 for the green Mara, a few minor niggles, but you can fix everything yourself. No electronics, you know, except the radio.
400. Curt pointed to the Mara and the rust on the bonnet.
Paul’s expression darkened. 550.
500.
Paul hesitated for two seconds. Deal. You got cash with you?
Cal wordlessly held the replicated 500 CAD$ up in the air.
Very nice, let me prepare the sales contract. Oh, what’s your name by the way?
Cal
Nice to meet you Paul frowned. You have a last name, too?
For a moment, Cal struggled to come up with a last name - not having thought about it before. However, he happened to look out at the street while taking to Paul, so he answered accordingly. Street
So, Cal Street and…? Paul looked at Curt.
Curt Curt happened to stand on the other side of Paul so he looked at the house with the gas station sales room and garage. House Curt added after a second of thought.
Paul squinted at Curt and Cal. Alright Cal Street and Curt House, come with me. And congratulations to your new 1992 Mara Irena 2.0 UR. She will start up right away, I promise…
5 Likes
Prologue
Team Information: Shitbox Rally 2023 - Entries Open! - #52 by TheYugo45GV
Prepare for Planetfall
Hidden from radar and the naked eye by a cloaking device, the shuttle began its descent to the surface, its powerful anti-grav thrusters keeping it from exceeding the already hypersonic speeds as it descended through the atmosphere. The cover of the predawn darkness also shielded their descent. Visible were the glowing speckles of golden light that came from Earth’s cities, where towards the east they faded as morning drew closer, the inevitable sunrise imminent.
While human aircraft were all around, dotting the skies, the shuttle itself was not much bigger than an IL-76 transport plane, plus, it was far more maneuverable than an airliner. Therefore the risk of a collision was extremely low, especially because the flight plan took them southeast of Las Vegas, over Lake Mead, nowhere near any aircraft.
By the time the shuttle landed, it was 7 AM, and the sun had barely risen above the horizon to the east. Mountains surrounded them on all sides, and the cold of the early morning created a low dense fog over the valley. They were basically in the middle of nowhere, and according to a navigation software called “Google Maps” the coordinates of the camp were about an hour east of their position. They were also in California, the state next to Nevada.
Because it would be hours before the camp would even be set up, they had decided to get comfortable and set up camp. The shuttle slowly lifted into the sky, its cloaking device turning it invisible again, as it rose higher before it became a distant roar that faded into the background. The occupants of the two vehicles had set up a rudimentary campsite, and were milling about as the shuttle left them behind.
“Will they come back for us?” Landon asked, craning his neck to see roughly where the craft had gone.
Karl joined him around the front of the Mayland, setting a leather jacket on the hood of the car. “When I call them.”
His friend continued, “I guess this is the point of no return then.”
“I suppose.”
“You sure they won’t leave us behind?”
“Very sure,” Karl continued, donning the leather biker jacket. “They wouldn’t dare.”
“I wasn’t worried anyway. I’m just considering all the possibilities. Such is life as a strategic officer.”
Meanwhile, the twins and Denali were poring over an old map of Nehmenweld Karl had brought.
Amell was, or at least trying, to provide light with his battery operated headlamp, while Aryton tried to make sense of what was north and what was south.
“I honestly don’t get why north and south are inverted.” Aryton complained. “It just makes no sense.”
“Well, I’m guessing the cup, from what Karl told us, is located somewhere here.” Denali pointed out a large darkened section of rainforest on the north section of the map. “There’s a road and a stretch of railway track that goes through on the south over here, but it’s mostly just dense forest.”
“He said the cup is in some long abandoned temple, which could be anywhere in that 1500 kilometer area, and this map is probably five thousand years old,” Aryton interjected. “There’s no chance we’ll find it, even if there is a ‘crystal to guide our way’.”
Watching his twin nephews, Landon sighed. They had a long journey ahead of them, and they would face many dangers along the way. All were armed to the teeth, and Landon had brought a shitload of guns amongst the sidearms they had. The general had to admit, he was feeling rather intimidated by the situation he faced, and brimming with excitement at the thought of meeting new people, though he did not let his face show it. In all honesty, he seemed skeptical of the trip at first, but being here with Karl, his best friend, and his brother’s two sons and a future family member, it was starting to seem this would be a very fun ordeal indeed. Plus it would be rewarding, for all of them.
Still, he hoped, all hell would not break loose, because at the end of the day, they were all in this together. But, for now at least, they had several hours to kill before they took off for the starting line, and since the email stated not to arrive before 1pm, it was probably wise to wait and rest up a bit before setting off.
Till Next Time
4 Likes
The Shitbox Rally Email
Notes: This is the email that would have been sent out between October 13, 2022 and November 1, 2022. Is it important? Only for character development. “Glass_Walker” refers to Malavera, and is one of his many personal email addresses. Yes, I used the .car format as an email address tag, because I could and because I didn’t want anyone with an actual email like that getting hammered with spam.
From: Glass_Walker@Automation.car
Welcome, friends and strangers, to another round of chaos. Many of you will remember last year’s event, when we drove over 5,600 miles through Crugandr during the middle of their summer. Some of you might not have been there, but have heard about this event and have been wondering how to get in on the next one.
Well, this is your chance. We’re hosting the Second Annual Shitbox Rally, Shitbox Rally 2023. Like the last time, we have a lovely little location out in the middle of the Mojave Desert, located at the attached GPS coordinates. This time, our scouts have found us a glorious run across the land of Nehmenweld, a huge continent in the world of Aetherii. We will, according to them, experience brutal cold and extreme heat at the opposite ends of the challenge. Likewise, we must be prepared for danger. Last year, our camp was attacked by Dyre, which, for those of you who do not know, are 11 foot tall werewolves. We don’t know what hazards await us this time, but it says a lot that our scouts are both carrying .50 caliber pistols, among other weapons.
So, how do you get in this time? Show up at our location with a shitbox that cost you less than $2,000, or the closest equivalent in your nation’s currency. Unlike the last time, however, all teams may bring up to two vehicles with them.
Like before, you’ll need some basic survival skills. Make sure someone can read a map and a compass. There’s no internet, no cell service, no satellites, no GPS out there. Make sure someone knows how to start fires. Make sure someone knows how to cook food, or make sure you bring food that doesn’t require cooking. Bring cold weather gear and hot weather gear, and clothing for in between. Bring all of the manuals you think you might need to repair your vehicle, or vehicles, out there, and all the tools you think you’ll need as well.
Remember, we leave only our footprints and our tire tracks behind, so have some place to put broken or spare parts, and clean up your own garbage.
If you’re interested in joining us, be at the included coordinates by March 31, 2023, between 1300 (1 PM local time) and 2000 (8 PM local time) or you’ll miss tech inspection. If you interrupt my driver’s meeting on April 1, 2023, at 1000 (10 AM local time), I will personally make sure you do push-ups through the whole thing until you throw up. We leave for Nehmenweld on April 1, 2023 at 1200 (12 PM local time). If you arrive late, you will miss the rally.
Your friends and competitors,
Team Shift Happens.
4 Likes
Sometime during sunset, an airplane was heard approaching the camp. Or at least it sounded that way. As the roar of the engine grew louder, a large truck approached and entered the camp. It was about the size of a semi truck and appeared to be from the late 1930s. The hulking beast slowly rolled into the camp, towing a roadkill-esque muscle car from a home-built crane arm welded to the frame where part of the bed was cut off.
The vehicular duo rolled cautiously through the camp, the truck lurching to the left with seemingly any throttle input, as if it was trying to flip itself over. After finding a place to park, the engine shut off and the driver’s door opened, replacing one loud noise with another as heavy metal was blasting from inside.
The first one out was the driver. A fairly tall, lean-fit, blond man in a worn, dated flight suit. He scanned his surroundings, then turned back to the open door. “So, is this the place?” he asks, with a noticeable accent that resembled German.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” answers a girl who pokes her head out, then turns back to the truck. “This it, Leo?” she asks someone inside, who answers but is unheard.
“Yeah, this is it.” she says, finally hopping out of the truck. She stands slightly taller than the man next to her, and has very long black hair with purple tips. Her outfit is also as similar to his as much as it is diffrent, being a leather motorcycle jacket over a croptop coupled with a red plaid skirt and heeled knee-high boots.
“So, what is this anyway? You two have been awful secretive about this…” he remarks suspiciously to the girl, who has already started walking off.
“Everyone else here for the race too? I’m Jenny and we’re Aeromad!” she exclaims.
The man rolls his eyes and heads toward the back of the truck to start lowering the car.
5 Likes