Shitbox Rally 2023 - Stage 14 (FINISHED!)

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

PART 5.1 - Knock, knock, who’s there?!

Earlier parts

Pre-prologue part 1

Pre-prologue part 2

Prologue part 0.1

Prologue part 0.15 - Interlude

Prologue part 0.2

Prologue part 0.3

Prologue part 0.4

Part 1.1 - What’s that smell?

Part 2.1 - Can I see your driver’s license, please?

Part 3.1 - No beer means no drama

Part 4.1 - HOOOOOOONK!

Part 4.2 - The party

PART 5.1 - Knock knock, who’s there?

“Urgh…did Marie run me over with the Wolverine yesterday?”, Janne asked when the team got up in the morning.

“Nah, you’re just resurrected after dying twice”, Andreas answered, laughing at Janne’s hangover.

“Nghrf…”, he grumbled, went out of the Wolverine and stepped into the passenger seat of the Rugger. The buzzy inline four started up in the chilly morning after some fiddling with the choke, soon to be silenced with the not-so-muffled sound of the V8 in the Wolverine. The somewhat clogged heater did its best to defog the Rugger’s windshield in the morning, and despite some tin can like sound from the worn out 80s speakers, you could identify the raspy voice of Eddie Meduza somewhere there in the background. The vehicles was all but suited for the roads between Coalscoop and Nehmenberg, which were as twisty as the christmas tree lights when you’re taking them out of the box in early december. Especially Marie had something of a workout, wrestling with the huge steering wheel of the Wolverine through those windy roads.

“My arms hurt!”, she told Arne.

“Bollocks!”, he answered. “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!”.

“And I am going to kill that bastard that killed Mr Spikey!”, she shouted.

“Just keep quiet”, Arne grumbled. “Everyone in the world except for you hated that cactus!”

Meanwhile in the IP Rugger, things took a turn for the worse.

“Damn, the oil pressure light is flashing”, Andreas said, “is it some ground issues with the sensor, or is it the worst sce…”

BANG BANG CLANK CLANK CLATTER CLATTER BANG!

“FUCK!”, he said. “It was the worst scenario!”. He turned the engine off immediately, flicked the switch for the hazard flashers and stopped at the side of the road.

BANG!, it said and the Rugger hurdled some metres forward after taking a Wolverine bumper to its rear end. Andreas stepped out and signed to Marie to roll down the window.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”, he asked her.

“I’m sorry, it was just that I got a wasp in my shoe, and…”

“I don’t want to hear anymore”, he grumbled.

“What are we going to do now?”, Andreas said. “Look for some scrap metal dealer, leave this POS there and hope for the Wolverine to hold together for the rest of the race?”

“Nah, I think I saw something”, Janne said and opened the glovebox, taking out a small orange box with the IP shield on it. “Look, a bearing kit. Sure, the crank and rods are probably shot too, but it might hold together for the rest of the race.”

“Are you going to swap bearings at the side of the road?”, Andreas sighed loudly.

“If you have a better idea, tell it to me now”, Janne said. “We certainly don’t have time for arguing now”, he said.

Luckily, they found some rocks at the side of the road, pushed the Rugger over there with the Wolverine, with the front wheels standing on the rocks, and the Wolverine stopping it from rolling backwards. The empty moonshine jugs came in handy for draining the waste oil into, and then Janne started loosening the engine mounts.

“We can do it with the engine still in the truck”, he said. “The problem is just to get the engine high enough to be able to pull out the oil pan”.

After some looking, they found a log that wasn’t all that rotten at the side of the road. By placing it underneath the clutch housing and letting Marie jump on it, Janne finally managed to pull out the oil pan. Sure, time was ticking away, especially with the tempo Janne managed to keep. One by one, he loosened the caps, took out the old bearings, finished the surfaces with some fine grit paper he found, put in the new ones and retorqued the caps. Doing everything in reverse order, he reassembled it, put in some fresh oil and a new filter, and started it up. Everything went fine, there were oil pressure, the team could once again continue their journey, through what now was the night. Extremely tired they were among the last teams to arrive at camp, and immediately fell asleep.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Yes, I am lagging behind many stages, but I will try to sort that out now. Sorry.

Next part

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Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 6

Familiar faces, we must cook

Prisoner bro seemed very intimidating, but rather satisfied to see noone can match his might.
He was advised not to intimidate other regulars, as that wouldnt be very nice of him.

-Indeed granma, young female, two young males and someone old enough to have some decently-aged children.
Im not looking forward to sharing space with that bitch that was also released from prison. She seems whiney and stupid and whiney.
-Do you have some money on hand? Bcos we all could benefit from it.
-Not much tbh. But could get some.
-Dont do anything stupid. Im supposed to keep an eye on you so you dont get behind bars again.

Silence

-Now you will have company of me, so i suggest ditching these weirdos…all of them.
-Thats not an option. I actually quite enjoy the fact they dont complain on my stories.
-Bcos they dont understand said stories. They are stale and stupid.
-Still, i kinda highly doubt it would be nice thing to do. Im only guy from around here they know.
They are helping best they can.
-I would prefer if help would be of financial kind.

Speaking of which…

-Sora, Pedro, what do you have in terms of money with you?
We only have Serbian dinars with us.
-What is what “dinar” thing?
-Money.

Pulls out banknotes and coins of said currency and Pedro inspects.

-We are using same way to express numbers, it seems.
-Thats not a coincidence

Sora spoke up

-Emperor, can you make us ton of money?
-Even if i could, it would be useless here.
-We arent in universe where she is Emperor. She admited that to me tad bit earlier.
I have no reason to argue that.
-I dont believe you and i have no reason to believe you.
-You actually do have reason. Emperor can confirm what i said.
-What if i dont?
I may enjoy watching your argument
On other hand, it would be nice to know how much money we have on hand.

Pedro and Sora checked the money

-Not much here. Its not like i prepared to go with you lot afterall.
-Im tad bit better off.
-Hrmph
Still hardly lot of money however you look at it.

At one of stops made, Local decided to investigate.
He understood this was money from where they came from and understood financial strength of coins and banknotes they had

Serbian dinar - Wikipedia covers most of stuff he may witness, with few exceptions

  • Noone had banknote of 5000 dinars with them. Said banknote is represented on English Wikipedia
  • For some reason, said English wiki doesnt really cover coins of smaller value in regards to how they look hence link to Serbian equivalent in Cyrillic letters
    Српски динар — Википедија
    English one does cover them data-wise, so dont worry about fact you dont understand Serbian.
    Speaking of someone that doesnt understand Serbian…

-That is USELESS here.
-I know and they know too.
-USELESS
-Now we know that atleast we mark numbers the same.
-USELESS
-Dont mind him (to rest of group, then turns to brother)
Look, if you had checked it out, we would like it to be returned

Brute turned away and threw money over shoulder

-USELESS

Local gathered money and returned it to rest, without a word
Still, would this bunch prove to be, indeed, useful beyond their tolerance for his stories?
Fear not, as two members of this group have particularly valuable knowledge and/or skills.
.
.
.
.
.
Ok, maybe one actually, but other will be mentioned. Probably. That would be Pedro

As for Sora, she is totally going to be very useful and in way that is…easier to put into practice

And no, im totally not mentioning that as reference for me regarding next piece of post for next stage. Totally.

WARNING: Uhhhh, i dont suggest doing eat or drink while reading next part.
You will be warned through part as well. It could be too funny or you could decide this just isnt something you want to follow with that delicious sandwich and Cola for other reason.

Fantasstic highway drive

I know, i know, these bad guys simply cant be boring at all but so far they didnt do anything bad per se.
But during this day, that has been changed…and they have not so nice title of being only group on this stage properly pulled over and given a ticket.

Trouble began in city, as they had managed to get some solid amount of food and drinks.
Food was eaten and drinks were drank and this is as good of place as any to warn you, the reader, to proceed with caution if you are consuming as well while reading
Reasoning would be self-explanatory and i guess one member of this group would be to blame…

-Man, im full.
-These guys really know how to make good food
-I had eaten many
-Pfft, thats nothing, i had eaten more.
-How much?
-Many more
-Many?
-MANY.

This attracted attention of tad bit more members of group. Some placed bets, others accepted them and so money was rolling in background.

-That isnt smart idea.
-Oh why? You think i cant handle it?
-…Yes?
-I will be happy to prove you wrong
WRONG
-We aint stopping
-I could manage it, no problem.
This isnt my first time ya know

Tad bit later, in different vehicle

-Boss, are we going to stop any time soon?
-NO, i think we are ahead of Team Mravolinski-Chitco.
-Isnt that a bad idea?
-How so?
-Uhh, we kinda dont know if they might come in some other direction
-Nonsense, i found some maps. There is no way for us to be lost.
-Im not convinced

Negativka stepped into conversation
(Ye, name is literally “bad guy” but female; bad guy here meaning antagonist, one that hero must fight)

-I bought them off some old poor fella that found them while trash digging, or so i understood.
Places we have been in so far match some of map by virtue of being in exact foreign language. There are more marked places to go, and im confident that we will be on track.
-Either way, i dont want to stop. Maybe we will slow down if we estimate there is high chance of them entering some fight.
I feel that would be our best chance to attack them.
-I dont recall us ever having that kinda strategy.
-Bcos we are only ones that they usually need to fight off. Last year they needed to fend off some wildlife…oh the dissapointment for us not joining in back then.
But ye, hopefully im crystal clear…WE AINT STOPPING FOR ANYTHING

…and that covers bathroom breaks, as it became more and more obvious to certain already mentioned member
He sat uneasy, crossing legs, showing discomfort…it hopefully becomes clear why i gave warning regarding readers taking it easy with consumables while reading.
Sweat was showing along with strong desire to just let it go, opposed to his pride and dignity.

-Can we stop for second?
-NO
-WHY (whining)
-Orders from Krta himself. He wants to be ahead of our enemies.
-Arent we already ahead?
-We are, but you dare to dispute his orders? I reckon you could have used the head tad bit earlier.

Everyone laughed in his discomfort, pushing him quite close to insanity…
He had went over some others towards a door
.
.
.
.
One policemen, sent to watch over highway on this wonderful day, had exited his patrol car.
He had certain issue in area below his back and decided to solve it with his hand.
Upon opening internal valve, he realised there were actually two issues, but one was solving itself now

-It stinks.
-So?

He decided to continue what he exited car for. Two moves and it seemed to be over.

-Thats 69th time of you scratching your butt today.
-So? You have something against my butt?
-I have against you scratching it on job. We are supposed to be professional.
-You snored out half a shift, hardly professional thing either
-I was tired, ok?
-Excuses, excuses.

In distance they saw big group of vehicles that were themself big as well.
They would have counted them out, but something about one of them would attract their attention.

-That one has somewhat open door.
-Oh my, it really does.
-Why?
-Something seems to kinda fly out of it, not sure what.
-We might need to see what is that.

Offending vehicle is now passing in front of them.
They see someone’s backside (more precisely, ass) and are shocked.
Several seconds had passed and they now alarmed next patrol to give ticket for indecency and littering, shock turning into laughter.
Said next patrol did road block, which prompted Krta to stop against his very words and upon exiting the car to personally confront law with words, policeman literally dragged him to another vehicle, one with open door and quite the sight in opening.
Then said officer gave the ticket.

-I dont understand whats written here.

Policeman gestured for them to turn around and clean up “trash” left behind, as he understood Krta’s “Im not of this world and cant read this thing” by noticing language he doesnt understand.
Turning around happened quickly and soon spillage was sorted out.

This isnt last we are going to say about Krta’s group. Expect consequences.

You can pick sandwich and Cola safely again or whatever you decided to consume while reading

Clawing away some trash

After some time, person that actually knew the way was found.
Trio of two guys and pet had asked some directions.
They were on their way

-What are you doing?
-Im gonna dispose of this book. It ruined my life. LIFE!
-But…what would its destruction do that would help you two returning back? If its with us and whole, we can eventually find someone that could decipher it.
-I have nothing and noone in this situation. Take no offence, but you are still mostly stranger to us by any metric.
-Offence not taken.
I see your point, which still wouldnt benefit from destruction of book.
Besides, we dont know for sure if it will not release some curse on its terminators. Remember, its book of magic.

Some time passed in silence

-I guess you are right. Still, we are not sure what we can do in this situation.
-Its probably for best to not divide just yet. Im going to Sundale, which is a town. We can sort out accomodation and think what to do there. Besides, that would allow you to make some more friends.
-Sounds good


Blessed with sufficient space and lack of traffic, vehicles of Krta turned around in correct direction
Going with the (expected) flow, all vehicles stepped on gas and went as fast as they could.
As vehicles could be considered identical, their “as fast as they could” depended a lot on driver behind wheel.
One of them would happen to have nasty issue that presented itself at one point, namely when they went off highway

-Im so much faster than others. This is SO COOL.
YOU WILL NOT GIVE ME ORDERS OF CARRYING TRASH ANYMORE.
WATCH MEEEEE

Driver went very quickly and speedily, realized he might be going too fast and in panic slammed brakes.
ABS did the thing and stopped fronts from locking up but same couldnt be said for rear
Multiple spins happened, but car ended up being on all four wheels in correct direction and still on road.

-WHEW. Atleast i didnt crash

Next vehicle, also belonging to Krta our beloved, seemed to have driver with non-existant reflexes, plowing into now-stopped vehicle in front.
Lot of trash, glass, pieces of metal etc. found the place on road and people in both vehicles got shunted a lot.
Injuries differed ofc from not so serious to more serious ones, but its not like anyone actually cares that much.

What we do care about is fact that someone had a nasty idea to put into action, which was approved by Krta himself.
After almost all people had entered the vehicles, this group continued onward to next city


In Sundale, trio had managed to find place to stay for some time and now human part was busy trying to settle in and organize food.
Pet was hanging around, going outside and inside as she pleased
This however would attract some attention.

-Oh my, look at that lovely sight.
-I dreamed to have one of those for longest of time
-Damn, such rare opportunity
-Yes

Some rechecking of clothing and pockets followed

-I know what we are doing tonight boys.
-Yes, finally. I got sick running away from old ladies after we decorated their homes with personal touch.
-Plan?
-Throw rock through window, get in and try to bait the animal using copius amount of meat.
-Where we are gonna find that?
-I have my ways.
-How to defeat those two guys?
-Easy. We have hammers and they dont expect hammers.
-Nice. I will bring the leash.

Night came and window got broken via rock.

-Im in.
Damn, everyone is asleep.
-Oh thats awesome. Unlock the door and let us in
-On it.

Extraction of pet went without too much of problem.

-Where is the car?
-Here
-Damn this is heavy
-About as much as your mom
-Shut up

Someone decided to ask

-Hey, how are we going to explain this much hair in here?
-My parents dont care about that
-This is your car?
-Nah, its of my dad.
-Good. We are going on a highway
-WHAT
-Yes, we are. Bcos freedom and shit.
-Cool
-Isnt this the wrong way?
-ZARUKI (Glaring at driver)
-I have no idea what you said
-Oh i know, i know.
-Really?
-Idiot
-No you are idiot
-Bro, i meant…
-DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU MEANT
-CAN I JUST FUCKING DRIVE

Horns blaring, showing displeasure on them going opposite direction.
As for “Zaruki” that means “Idiot” in Valraadii, so i guess one of these guys have some knowledge in it

-SHIT
Im going to get in that proper direction.
Doesnt matter in which direction we are going, freedom in both directions.
-Ok

Bunch had entered highway and stepped on it, towards new adventures
We are going to just stand on side of highway and watch their taillights getting smaller and smaller in distance…for now.

Atleast you can rest etirenally

Morning was indeed very great and it seemed that there is possibility for refueling Saguaro and nothing else.
This time around, it was decided to refill BOTH vehicles at same time Saguaro required its refill.
Real interesting thing had started when Saguaro required refill AGAIN.
This time, there would be required detour since apparently highway was blocked by some banners with what seemed like gibberish written on them.
As such, both cars tried their luck on exiting the highway as fast as possible at next exit, which had some debris splaterred on it
Due to differing track widths, Kontir had cleared the debris easily, but same couldnt be said for much narrower Saguaro, resulting in, well…

-Seems that both tires are goner on passenger side
-We will stop when there is space to access the damage, but note we didnt really packed much in terms of spare tires for it
-Eh, could be worse

-Rear isnt in such bad shape, but we really need to figure out what to do with other one.
-Thats bcos i swerved to avoid more damage to it
-Wonderful. It still needs to be fixed tho
As such, we shall find tire shop here
First we will cleanup this, no need fo fellow competitor to suffer same fate needlessly

There was approach to what seemed to be tire shop, which is now also blessed with lot of cars parked in close proximity. Clanking could be heard relatively clearly

-This is nothing but shame, ya know? I had worked for him for many years…no, few decades and…it wasnt always easy, but we pulled through all and any obstacle…but it wasnt meant to be this time.
-Yea, agreed

-Weird clanking could be heard/
-Weird?
-Not what i would expect from workshop, anyway.
-Atleast means there will be people there
-True

However, there was some inconvenient obstacle on way to getting into shop

-BEEEEP
-WE DONT SERVE ANYONE TODAY
-WHO PARKED LIKE ASSHOLE ON ENTRANCE
-I SAID…WE SERVE NOONE TODAY!!!
-Nonsense

Chicota had exited the vehicle he piloted and went around obstacle. He took notice of what he could gather from parts of it that he passed: long black vehicle, with only notable feature being blacked-out windows. Clanking was very clear now and so was the reason

-Not only someone`s parking skill could use refinement, but also all of you lot are eating.
-We are closed for today, fuck off
-So you can eat in peace?
-EXACTLY
-What are we supposed to do, then?
-Feel free to fuck off. We are changing no tire today.
-Not even to this thing someone so carelessly parked here?
-That needs no tire change
-It does, rear left is deflated
-What…go and check

One of people at table reluctantly left table and decided to inspect the tire
He burst into laughter

-WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY
-Tire…its flat…
-This is no occassion to laugh
-Its ironic that his last ride has gotten flat tire. That irony had made me laugh.

Chicota only now grasped conclusion some reader may have gotten already

-Last ride? Wait…you are telling me this thing is a hearse?
-Yes?
-But it has no markings on it
-Ye, but this is such a small place that we need no markings.
Besides, its fully black and big vehicle, which should leave no doubt on its purpose
You arent from here or?
(Looks at vehicles blocking the street)
You arent from here

-I cant believe on flat tire. Free beer for everyone if its true
-Bet

Shouty guy became very quiet
This continued for few minutes

-You lost the bet?
-I did.

Defeated, he returned to table. Chicota spoke

-Can we atleast get some basic resources in order to fix our tires?
-No. (guy that lost the bet)
-Can you inflate tire on this hearse? (younger guy still at hearse asking Chicota)
-You sure you only need to reinflate it?
-Uh…yeah. Its not like we are going very fast…or far.
-If its something more serious, that might not help.
Also, we could hodge-podge our tires if we are given some basic resources. We are willing to pay for said resources and usage of tools
-Hmm, could do.

Resources are given and repairs were done in middle of street.
Ofc, it should be noted this isnt all…

-Cant believe our plan worked.
-That was genious plan to divert them in way to pop some tires
-Lets just move these out of way.
-Yes, lets. Krta will be happy to hear about it.

They watched teams slower than Mravolinski-Chitco pass by, under their metal plates used to divert mentioned team
These were spooked in night when certain band of misfits had booked it through very same highway exit going in direction that wasnt intended.
Eventually, they were found and police brought them into their station, thinking they are homeless people.
One of them had scribbled Полиција нас је одвела у њихову станицу, мисле да смо бескућници
(Replace them and they with us and we, respectivelly in bold part of previous sentence and you get translation of what they wrote)
Rest of their group had picked up the panels and picked them up at said station.

3 Likes

Team VSmgAB & Team Shift Happens


Stage 1 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 1 Drive (Shift Happens)
Stage 2 Drive/Camp (Shift Happens)
Stage 2 Camp (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 3 Camp (VSmgAB + Hillbilly Rollers + Aeromad + Ambassadors) Part 1, Part 2
Stage 4 and 5; “send it!”


OOC:
behind schedule, no drive to type in full, yada yada yada. Abridged bullshit, GO!
Also, this was typed inbetween trips at work, so excuse any shitty formatting, typos or less-than-perfectly consistent plot.


Stage 6 Drive

  • uneventful morning, barring latent worries about speeds for today
  • equally uneventful process of getting onto the rails
  • about 30 minutes poodling around slower sections of rail
  • sign_100mph_limit.jpeg
  • right foot suddenly become unusually heavy
  • “we are definitely doing the speed limit”
  • 110mph…
  • 120mph…
  • 130mph…
  • 140mph…
  • 149mph…
  • spot two very familiar 10-wheel trucks going the other way
  • confusion about directions ensues
  • solves itself in about 15 seconds, as the next mile-post reads as expected
  • more proof 3 miles (about another minute) down the line
  • remainder of trip unremarkable in comparison

Stage 6 Camp

skip


Stage 7 Drive

  • pretty much a full skip
  • only important note is that the train is left on rails due to proximity to camp to the railway station.

Stage 7 camp

  • be greeted by railroading officials from earlier

  • very pushy about who gets to hire Val for their respective railway

  • made worse by him holding P1 and P2 in rail speed records

  • it becomes known to them that the Holsian State Railways have “won” the bidding war over Val

  • the other two “politely” (read: fuming in anger) leave the place

  • Future plans include, but are not limited to:
    – the aquisition of blueprints for locomotives already running on Holsian rails
    – same applies for performance reports of said locomotives
    – re-printing the contract with the corrected salary structure
    – locating an office for Val to work in without an immediate ability to travel there in the immediate future
    – get the first order going

  • most of this is for the local official to solve, as Val’s employment starts once both parties have signed the employment contract.

  • remaining evening unremarkable in comparison, though a few rail-enthusiast locals are VERY interesred in the contraption Val has brought.

2 Likes

i’ve been really lagging on

Team Slow
Chapter 3, Part 1- I have to catch up.


Well, that adventure of speed wasn’t quite fun with a speeding ticket. It seemed a bit hefty. Not much do document about, Izzy does her (yet-legal) shenanigans with the car, as Matt sat and looked at her getting a ticket in his own car. I guess there’s not much speeding after that.

She’s probably ticked off by now. But by now the police had gone, and we continue driving to the next stage area.

Car’s fully operational and the build quality seems to be going in our favour.

(this is inappropriately short and might have a lack of info but im really lagging behind by a month)

2 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 7

Alone again

Morning brought some drizzle and light winds. It was relatively cold, but that didnt stop VerBanka from investigating around.
Ok, sole reason for investigation was so she could pee, but it would be investigation nonetheless.

-Oh what do i see? Lemme inform others…

Few minutes later

-Where were you?
-I gotta show you this
-Ok? I dont get your enthusiasm
-You will see

Everyone followed her to place

-Ah we see.
-The chance
-We must, however, look at where it leads.
-How? Step into it and we are…wherever that leads.
-Will find a way

Rock was thrown and that didnt lead to some meaningful conclusion

-We could lower VerBanka into it, but going to hold her legs.
-Plan with no faults whatsoever.
-I doubt you will need to do anything that may make us lose grip
-Still
-That is best plan tho: We guys are bigger and heavier and Sora…well she is just old
-WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?!?
-Truth

After plan was forged, it was time to be put into action.
All three guys were holding VerBanka’s legs while she was closing on entrance.
She was now (mostly) in

-Now hold me so i dont fall.

Wheat field was rather welcome sight, as it was presence of some relatively big white-with-black-spots creature.

-Krava! Ovo mora da je Zemlja ili nešto slično.
(Cow! This must be Earth or something similar.)
-MUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
(MOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
-Neki se glasovi čuju sa neba
(Some voices are heard from the sky)

Looks at nearby bottle

-Dosta sam ja pio za danas.
(I drank enough for today)

Lies again and doses off into sleep.
Decision was made after VerBanka is extracted: group is going there.
All stuff is gathered and everyone lined up to jump into it
Mrdja was not informed that this is indeed going to be an actual jump and matter wasnt much improved as he was pushed into it.
Assume conversations are in Serb

-HELLO UNCLE
-BBAAAHHHAAA GO TOOO HEELL…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-Washing away eyes with rakija, i see?
Not one of your brightest moments…
-Go into mother’s pussy…can’t see nothing.
Who are you anyway?
-Your nephew Pedro
You cant see nothing? Seeing that you just washed your eyes with something thats 70ish % alcohol, im not surprized.
-Gimme something else to wash away my poor face.

Few moments later, guy was blessed with sight again

-Im glad to see you, Pedro.
-Same. We would prob want to spend the night then try to go our way
-Not a chance. We havent seen you in such a long time.
-Uhhh…remember that wedding last year? One on which you got promptly drunk and attempted to piss on bride?
I was there with my family.
-I make quite potent stuff, what can i say? Do you want some?
-No, thanks, we appreciatte not meeting local ditches
-Fair enough

And yes, likes of Rukari exist in regard of making high-amount-of-alcohol drinks that are also drank by not only family and friends, but also maker of stuff.
One of my uncles used to make rakija and there are several of his friends that make it.
Not to mention brother-in-law of said uncle and my dad (uncle in question is brother of my dad).

This group is now in kinda parallel world where Pedro and Sora typically reside.
Well, with one notable exception…


-You! Drive me to nearest restaurant, so i can demand everything on their menu! Im hungry and angry.

Its clear that neither of them really understood her and what Leopolda demanded of them will stay mystery.

-Im done, brother. She was annoying in jail and decided to be annoying here. We will continue without her.
-But…that means leaving her alone…
-Seeing that our friends of sort had went without her, she likely isnt very nice even if you speak her language…it isnt worth it being thrown in jail again for her

And indeed she isnt. She was absolutely confused upon realising that he aint going to play to her tune.
Tried being more agressive, but was swatted mightily.
She may had went tad bit unconscious as result of that, but was fine upon returning back to senses

-Im alone
Which dick
Im fucking your mother’s pussy to all of you

Some young policewoman was passing by, deciding to act upon this.
Leopolda decided she doesnt like idea of young females around, despite fact her husband couldnt possibly see this lovely fella.
Last thing we may be interested in? Policewoman won the fight, decided to bring Leopolda to local station in nearest avaiable car and put her behind bars.
And yes, said nearest car was Leopolda’s own.

Purrfect joyride

You can probably imagine the mess that these teenagers had inflicted in car, courtesy of some spills and different snacks.

Our main interest and only female in the vehicle woke up and announced being awoken.

-Its awake
-Oh boi, oh boi.
-Lemme touch her

Pet refused to be touched and retreated to tailgate, showing dissaproval and still hoping that her original companion would save her.

-OUCH! NOW YOU GONNA SEE YOUR GOD
-Hey, dont slap me
-YOU slapped ME, so i gotta give it back
-Help me, he wants to (slap) OUCH that hurt
NOW ITS ON

-CAN YOU…FUCKING…STOP WRESTLING…OUT THERE
IM TRYING TO DRIVE YOU IDIOTS
-…said by idiot
-Fucking ouch

Slam on brakes later

-Why are we stopped?
-Bcos you dont allow me to drive properly
-No less was expected of chicken
-I will give you “chicken”

Eventually heat wore off and they continued journey. Almost everyone out of car, they had tried to befriend new addition to no avail.

-Maybe we shall give some meat to her
-Too late
-Oh…i see she found our dried meat
-Ye…we should probably rest
-Yes
-We should leave open window so our new pet can breathe.

And so it was, few of them sleeping in car, including one fella that sprawled over entire rear bench.
Juicy saviour arrived

FRAAAP
-Who tf was that
-Ayo, open the window
-Open already
-Wider bro, wider
-You sleep outside from now on
-Ok

Window rolled down more and air started clearing out.
Our main character wasnt fond of fart either, but saw opportunity upon seeing rolled window.
This was game of patience and oh boy, could she wait. Waiting game had brought many smaller snacks in her life so far and now it buys freedom.


Breathing. Some more breathing. Occasional snore. Some wiggles to hunt better position
This was reality for half an hour. Hour. Two.
Window was still wide open.

Initial jump was strong enough to clear seatback, but would still land in car. Exactly that seatback was taken advantage of, as our escapee had propelled by pushing legs into seatback or atleast very top of it.
Place for window was briefly filled with her, then continued to invite lot of fresh cold air
Running was oh-so-easy. Soon her prison of sorts became just a distant memory, speck in her rear-view direction.

Some nearby piece of meat was snagged away and carried on: is it even a crime if noone saw you do it?
On other hand she was criminally hungry so it evens out.
Some other meat-loving stray took the blame upon snatching some other piece of meat and was chased as result.
This was observed by our protagonist, that enjoyed the show besides the meal from high-up position.

It seemed that success is deserving of a nap, which is where we are leaving this for now.

Tired away

Its rather high mood when everyone woke up, hoping this time neither shitbox will cause much trouble but knowing that they can realistically break down and will do so if given the chance.
Mat and Amanda took the wheels and drive could start.

-Can we talk in unison and stuff and setup CB so we can hold continuous conversation?
-I think there are few frequencies where we arent disturbing anyone else
-Ok, set it up

Only one thing remained

-How to fill up all of this time
-By talking about getting some more cars. We are rather low in that regard, compared to how many drivers there are in group.
-Remind me, how many cars do we have avaiable right now?
-These two. Probably its not brightest idea to bring what would, at same time, also pass as your only car on this kind of event. However potential damage, wear and tear are something to think about later and i feel this journey was something we just cant miss.
-For a robot, you happen to be rather irrational.
-True, but then again, all of you have such moments too.
I ofc could have tried, and likely succeded, in modifying cars so they dont breakdown quite so often. But i enjoy this challenge as-is and point of this is…not exactly in having most reliable car ever. We prob should have tried to reach to other teams, but sadly i…dont think that would work as well as it sounds.
-I guess original run was tad bit more lively. Dont quote me on that, but…i was there.
-True. Cars were our subject tho, so lets get back to that.
-We cant really say or do much about it, especially in this moment. Searching used car sites shall wait until our return
-Another issue is that we plan on big move, which…well…certainly is ambitious. Also is something we would need to do upon our return
-Arguably even more important than getting more cars bcos we can hardly live out of cars, without some patch of land and building or two that we can call home.
-True
-True

Some pause followed

-Mrdja and his family used to be considered instrumental for our accomodation but, realistically, its miracle it worked as long and as well as it did.
Most of us had took first steps in his backyard, which is of solid size, but…ye im kinda lost for words.
-His house also provides solid amount of space, but even tho its prob fine for their family, it quickly proves to be quite a challenge.

And indeed, when thinking about just how many imaginary charactees i have and recalling how much sleeping space exists in houses that belong to my family, i find space lacking…even if we ignore fact that space would be realistically occupied by inhabitants of house.

-Again, something to think about when it is time to do so.
-But now, Saguaro needs refueling
-Wonderful.
-My estimates are that it will need refueling again during the stage

  • Not cool

Refuel happened, but 16 km or 10 miles later…

-What was that?
-Oh my, its now tougher to control
-WE NEED TO STOP
-Ye, something is fishy
.
.
-Tire looks deflated
-Bcos it is.
-Sure it was on right pressure?
-Yes?
-Probably punctured…ye, it is, found sone nail in it.
-Atleast that will not repeat again

It definitely repeated again after about 20 miles

-Oh come on
-That happens if you are on old tires…probably
-Not funny
-Eh, that isnt funny but you being angry…that is kinda funny
-No it isnt
-Yes it is…you are kinda cute when you are angry.
-Hrmph


-Seems we are getting low on fuel regarding Kontir as well.
-We will refuel Saguaro just in case
-Good call

Checks fuel gauge in Saguaro

-VERY good call, it would have needed refueling sooner rather than later.
-Ok, lets do it then.

There was some talking with fuel station worker that was tasked with filling their cars.
Upon that being done, they got promptly on highway and stepped on it…and then promptly slowing down due to two trucks attempting to overtake each other
Either way, rest of journey was uneventful, as was coming into camp
With that, they had prepared for another night…and as such, next day

2 Likes

Stage 8:

Moonshadow Village to Kingsburg


Temperature at mid-day: 20°C
Night-time Low: 12°C
Expected Weather: A thick cloud cover looms overhead, but retains the rain within, leaving the roads and people dry. Humidity is fairly high and winds are noticeable, although not exceptionally strong.


Camp Challenge: Kingsburg Quarter-mile (402 meters).


Ah, here it is, the infamous off-road stage.

Today, we’re following an old logging trail from Moonshadow Village out to Kingsburg. While the “road” is wide enough to reliably pass one another on the way, and the curves are gentle enough for even the biggest vehicles in the group to handle without trouble, well… We’re driving on hard-packed dirt with bark chips added for traction material.

While there’s no real posted speed limits, the “acceptable average” speed is about 25 MPH. This is reinforced when we leave the trail and end up on a main road heading into Kingsburg… With a posted speed limit of 25 MPH / 40km/h and police cars everywhere.

If Moonshadow Village was small but tall, Kingsburg is just about the opposite. With 800,000 people in this city, and the beginnings of almost-suburban-sprawl starting to creep in, thanks to an irrational fear from the city planners about building upward instead of outward, it takes us a long while to trundle into the center of town. It takes just as long to meander our way out toward the outskirts on the far side, where our campground is.

Unlike the last few times, however, our campground is shared with some curious locals who created a little community across the road in some abandoned train cars. With two sleeper coaches, a caboose, and a box-car kitchen, they’ve set out to prove that it COULD be possible to live in mobile houses.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: very high
Road Condition: good
Traffic: very high
Police: moderate to high


Results Here: SR23 Stage 8 - Google Drive


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Everyone was glad to see that the off-road prowess of the HD-GV units was able to make the off-road stage look easy. Other than Takaraya earning himself a warning for speeding, there’s not much that went wrong.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Of course, the real off-road experts spent their time away from the dirt, and instead, they rocketed away on shining steel rails. When it came time to park for the night, they ended up close to the locals, who were pleasantly surprised to see their plans for a mobile house were actually reasonable.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

The crew in the Walkenhorst weren’t surprised when the Citrine left them in the dust courtesy of an unexpected and very irritating squealing noise from the front of the car. It’s a good thing they stopped, though, as that water pump really did need to be replaced with one of their spares.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

With Ianis taking the Itan and leaving for Earth, it’s just the Trio of Tragedy taking the Imbe off-road today. The constant use of lower gears and higher RPM means that the ping-o-matic engine under the hood is making more noise than usual. It’s no surprise when the head gasket lets go, though it is surprising that TJ chose to drive on and fix it in camp while the Imbe blows white smoke everywhere.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

It turns out that navigating is hard. After driving out onto the road after several hours of dirt with wood chips for traction, the navigator sent you on an almost 3-and-a-half hour detour. A warning was issued for speeding when trying to make up time after the mistake was discovered.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

Normally, a popped tire on the Mayland Ambassador wouldn’t be a huge deal. However, when it happens in the dirt with no good place to put a jack, jack-stands, or even wheel chocks to keep the car still, it turns a simple tire change into a nearly 8 hour ordeal, especially when someone swears they saw a leopard-sized cougar watching them.


@Doot

The Knockouts

Another one who got bitten by bad navigation, leading Kate to head way off course with screaming sirens behind her. She turned around and tried to weave through the police cars, only to get fenced in and stopped by the Kingsberg Police Unit. They were a little more… Eager to unleash the Dyre when Kate weighed the choice to run, and she found herself caught after two steps in the wrong direction. Octavia, on the other hand, has no issues other than driving around a badly parked patrol car.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Both vehicles spend a surprising amount of time getting stuck, and then helping un-stick the other vehicle. Unsurprisingly, the Kontir Cunningham has less issues with road-bound hazards, though the massive camper unit collects every tree branch it can find, forcing the team to clear branches ahead or risk a repeat of SR 2022’s camper destruction.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

It was going so well until a tire burst and caused the VanGo to hit a tree. Thankfully, all of the damage was easily fixable, just very time consuming.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

Sure, the bus isn’t really the most off-road-oriented vehicle in the world, but if she can be Queen of the Desert, then she can also be Queen of the Dirt.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Not much to say here, it’s just a slow-going off-road stage for two cars driving a bus.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Other than Andreas getting a warning for excessive speed driving from the dirt road onto the actual paved road, it’s a good simple stage. Marie, however, spends an unusual amount of time mentioning how much she dislikes cats after seeing a cougar cross the road.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

What’s harder than a tire change in the woods? A tire change in the woods, on a rental you can’t afford to scratch, with only the tools provided in the back of the rental minivan… And one leopard-sized cougar that decided the roof of the van was a good place to rest for a while. The hardest part of the whole ordeal was chasing the cat away without getting the van scratched up in the process.


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Both Aethers show their 30’s era roots by having no issues with a bit of dirt today.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

What’s another warning for speeding among friends? Apparently the Mara is a bit popular with the police here, as they like the idea of a semi-rugged off-road capable car for dealing with moonshine smugglers using the dirt road to escape justice.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

No problems in the fast crossover, even when outrunning the cops. They’re definitely looking for better cars to bust ‘shine runners, and SUVs might just be the kind of thing they’re looking into.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

When both of these cars shot out of the woods like bats from hell, the Kingsberg Police had no clue how to deal with them. It’s another clean getaway.


@IDK158

Team J3

It’s a good bit of trouble for Team J3 today. Between nearly 4 hours of fixing the Willow’s gearbox, and then an unplanned detour adding up to almost 7 hours of total breakdown time, plus a warning and a speeding ticket, it’s not a good day.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Other than the driver of the Torrento getting a warning for excessive speed, it’s a clean run today. The deafening roar of airplane engines through the forest won’t soon be forgotten… If only because two of the police officers have to shout to hear each other for several hours after the traffic stop.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Other than the Seikatsu being ticketed for speeding, it’s a clean run. How that was managed with a giant military truck is beyond anyone’s belief.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

It is possible to teach old dogs new tricks: This time it was just speed warnings, instead of the other car getting a ticket for honking at the unlucky one to get caught first.


@Xepy

Team “486”

Camp Challenge Winner - Kaufmann Viera Custom: 11.82 seconds
Being fast in a quarter mile seems to be what saved this team from getting caught by the cops. Or maybe they just live a quarter mile at a time? Either way, they escaped into the campground and waited, perhaps impatiently, for the rest of the crews to turn up.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

Turns out that, yes, even an ambulance has to obey speed limits when it’s not actively in an emergency. Thankfully, it’s just a warning this time.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

With the Blue Wonder making a wrong turn and driving 2 hours and 16 minutes off-course before turning around and adding another 2:16 to the time, for a total of 4 hours and 32 minutes of added stage time, and the Faenza throwing a serpentine belt in the woods, it’s not a great stage for anyone on this team.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

It’s just a casual speeding ticket for the driver of the VHT Supermobile. Oops.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

A clean stage for the team, no cop-stops, no breakdowns.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Other than the driver of the MCMOTD being stopped and given a warning that “drifting” is not acceptable on these roads, it’s a clean enough stage.


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

What’s more fun than blasting through the woods in an open-cockpit road racer? Probably not much. Shoveling all of that dirt out of the car will suck, though.


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

We’re not sure how this rig and trailer were weaved through here, but we’re fairly sure the trailer will be less than pretty after Mother Nature redecorated the paint with tree branches. It’s a clean run, minus the scuff marks.

5 Likes

Team VSmgAB & Team Shift Happens


Stage 1 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 1 Drive (Shift Happens)
Stage 2 Drive/Camp (Shift Happens)
Stage 2 Camp (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 3 Camp (VSmgAB + Hillbilly Rollers + Aeromad + Ambassadors) Part 1, Part 2
Stage 4 and 5; “send it!”
Stage 6 and 7 “Catching Up” (VSmgAB)


Stage 8 Camp

As the HD-GVs were parked in camp, Kivenaal got on the radio and mentioned, “Give me a few minutes and I’ll set up some targets.”

While Kasiya hooked up their end of the cables and got them over to Valentin, and Rukari set up the grill they had to cook with while Kayden prepared burgers, Takaraya and Kivenaal prepared a shooting range with targets that had sandbags over the back to stop bullets from flying straight through.

It didn’t take long for there to be targets set out at 25, 50, 75, and 100 meters, and a few tables for setting weapons, magazines, and ammunition down on as needed.

Takaraya and Kivenaal returned to the truck to grab their rifles, returning to the range and setting their weapons down on the table.

Initially, not a lot happened for Valentin and Norse which quickly devolved into boredom, though our ‘Speshul Forces’ were once again sent over for target practice.

“Hello there. I hope you don’t mind us doing another round of aim-training, do you?” Constantin calmly inquired as the recruits were already underway readying their respective weapons for the task.

“Time to watch Jacques smoke us again…” William commented, prompting a grin from Jacques.
“Well if you lot actually had more than about four braincells, you’d be able to hit things.” he countered.
“He already hits everything, BUT the target.” Rohan chuckled, after which the group, barring Mary, continued throwing semi-serious insults against each other.

Not long after, Valentin also joined the lot:
“What are you doing here?” Mary inquired towards Valentin
“Am contemplating getting a hunter’s license given the farce that was last year’s run… might as well try, given the chance,” he said as Constantin flinched juuust a little, remembering the strong break-of-trust that year.

“Go right ahead,” Kivenaal said to Constantin. “It’s why the range was set up in the first place.” He looked over as Takaraya, dressed in a medium-green t-shirt with his mechanical arms showing, loaded a 20 round magazine into his rifle and racked the charging handle, before setting the weapon on safe. “Oh, good, we’re going to have Takaraya’s shoulder-fired artillery at the range,” Kivenaal quipped.

Takaraya glanced over at Kivenaal, watching as he loaded a handful of cartridges into his rifle, then shook his head. “And he says my rifle is shoulder-fired artillery. Sure, .45-70 isn’t as powerful as .50 BMG, but considering what your brother uses, my rifle is far, far from artillery.”

When Valentin joined the group at the range, however, Kivenaal and Takaraya were both a little surprised. “i’ll let Malavera know he may need to bring his rifle or pistol to the table,” Kivenaal said.

“No need, I have both here already,” Malavera said, walking over to the table with his rifle in his hands, and a rather large pistol in a hip holster.

“Hope i am not disturbing anyone with my glaring presence now…” Valentin said in reference to his almost snowman-like pale skin, “I have been thinking about getting into shooting for sport. Aaaand… it just so happens that there is a somewhat public shooting range here…”

Valentin did not dare to directly ask for a gun, given that he had fired a gun exactly ONCE, which ruined both wrists.

Mary solved that hesitation for him, though:
“So you wanna shoot guns? Truth be told, i did not expect you to be that kind of man,” Mary remarked.
“If i stick to doing the same thing, i am leaving potential ways of fulfillment on the table. And there is no harm in trying new things,” Valentin countered with great confidence.
“THAT is true… maybe i should try new things as well at some time…”

“No disturbances on our end. Between Malavera’s white fur and Takaraya’s shiny metal arms, we’ve got more reasons to apologize than you do, Val,” Kivenaal said.

When Mary asked if Val wanted to shoot, and Val confirmed it, Kivenaal looked up to Takaraya, then over to Malavera, and back to the table. The three of them, at Kivenaal’s unspoken command, set their rifles down on the table. “We’re not sure if any of them will work for you, Val, and they’re all a bit more powerful than would be ideal,” Takaraya said, “but they’re options.”

Confusion was written in bold across Valentin’s face once he saw three substantially sized rifles on the table.

“Umm… are we not jumping the guns a little? I have shot exactly once. That was yeears ago with a very undersized handgun. Undersized for my massive human paws, that is…” Valentin stumbled as he held out both hands, facing down, to exemplify the absolute size of these units.

In the meantime, the ‘Speshul Forces’ got to work, with expected results. While Jacques had a nearly impeccable spray pattern, most of the others barely managed to keep the shots on target at all.

“Well… The recoil on any one of these really isn’t that bad. Mine’s probably the worst, with the solid walnut stock,” Kivenaal said. “Weight’s your friend here.”

Malavera then added in, “Takaraya’s rifle’s the heaviest, though mine’s only a bit lighter than his. Kiva’s is the lightest, and knowing the twin-tailed devil himself, I know he’s loaded his ammunition a bit stronger than average.”

Takaraya sighed, then said, “Fairly simple controls on this. All the way up on the fire-selector is safe, all the way down is semi-automatic. You don’t want to be in the middle notch, that’s full-auto and could be dangerous. If you shoot all 20 rounds, magazine release is the lever under the trigger guard. I’ve got a spare magazine in my hip pouch.”

“Uhhh… right.” Valentin mumbled as he inspected Takaraya’s rifle, now that it was at least somewhat explained and thus the most familiar of the unfamiliar weapons.
“So. Gun is always loaded, regardless of what happens to it. Never point it at things you do not not want to hit. Finger only to trigger if i want to shoot… here goes…” Valentin spoke as a reminder to himself about gun safety and also as proof to the others that he knew it.

He then carefully shoved the other two rifles aside and inspected the remaining one. Eventually, he is in position in front of the table, kneeling on one heel with the respective other knee, the bipod of the rifle resting on the table.

Deliberate aim is taken before… nothing happens.
“Still on safe, Val!”, Mary shouts from three lanes over, before Valentin realizes himself and flicks the switch to semi-automatic.

Another moment of aim and a round goes down range. Much to his (and the recruits) surprise, the very visible impact site was not too far away from the center and certainly closer than most of what the recruits have managed to accomplish.

Immediately afterwards, Val got back up, as his left hand went to rub the pain out of his right shoulder.
“You lot are severely underselling the recoil of those things…” Valentin complained, eventually gathering his bearings and securing the weapon for the time being.

Malavera chuckled. “I guess it’s relative. Sorry, Val.”

Takaraya admitted, “To be fair, I did mention they were more powerful than would be ideal. And, well, I can’t honestly tell you how bad the recoil is.”

Kivenaal shrugged. “My sense of how bad recoil can be is skewed a bit. You want a shoulder workout, Rukari’s stupid little shoulder-fired cannon kicks like hell.”

Takaraya carefully picked up his rifle and put the ejected round back in the magazine, setting both neatly back down on the table afterward. “If you’re going to ask for a pistol, I will have to respectfully decline using mine. It might fit your hands, but… The recoil on it is going to be a fair bit more severe than most pistols.”

“Fucking thing shoots .458 SOCOM. For those who don’t know much about guns… That’s a rifle round meant to go in modified AR-15 and M-16 platform rifles,” Kivenaal grumbled. “Really good for making sore wrists later.”

“Coming from him, that’s serious, considering his usual choice of revolvers,” Malavera said. He pulled the Desert Eagle out of the holster on his hip and placed it on the table, then said, “Desert Eagle, chambered in .44 Magnum. Rukari has two in the more vicious .50 Action Express, but… I doubt you want to fire those.”

“You failed to mention by how much,” Valentin protested, tugging the collar of his shirt aside to check if the rifle left an imprint.
To his surprise, there, at least for the time being, was none, though the process of readjusting the shirt to not be all lopsided did peak someone’s interest:

“Uhm… if i am allowed to ask… what’s that for a tattoo on your chest?” Mary inquired, full of curiosity and with a remarkable lack of decency regarding private things.
Surprised, Valentin turned to face her: “For the sake of some people here, i shall stay cryptic. All i am going to say now is that it is a literal link to a somewhat recent, possibly life-changing event for me.”

Malavera glanced over and saw the QR code, though, knowing how much he disliked when people brought up the branded mark on his own left shoulder, he kept quiet about knowing what it meant.

Kivenaal, on the other hand, glanced over and said, “Oh, that’s a QR code. Val had that done after, well… Someone in a military van had an accident and ended up taking out a bunch of cyclists. No one died, as far as I know, but a lot of people got banged up rather badly. Val here has… I’d joke and say “as much titanium as Takaraya,” but… That’s not quite true.”

Takaraya looked over at Kivenaal, Valentin, Malavera, and Mary, then sighed. “Kiva, really? Val was trying to be diplomatic.”

Mary simply stood there, trying to piece things together for a while.
Norse, having heard this, got up from his spot near the generator car and power-walked over to the opposing side of camp, far out of earshot in case this conversation would go more detailed.

“Wait… a military van?” Mary eventually asked, trying to gather more information while not being seen as intrusive.

“From what i remember, it had military plates, but was otherwise a generic 9 seat van…” Valentin recalled, but was interrupted in trying to vaguely outline the nature of it.

JACKNABBIT!!! GET OVER HERE!!! YOUR TURN!!!”, Constantin blared for basically half of camp to hear, after which Mary ‘promptly’ went over to do her round, resulting in the worst target pattern in recent history.

“Not your day ain’t it, Jacknabbit?”, he asked afterwards, crossing his arms in disappointment.
“Not anymore. Now… do you know about some soldier that apparently played bowling with some cyclists some time ago?”, Mary countered, which sent Constantin into an awkward silence for a moment.

“Truth be told, it created a massive Tsunami of controversy in the upper ranks because that soldier was not perceived to be the kind of guy to do that. Needless to say, he is presumably employed elsewhere, if at all and also doesn’t drive anymore,” Constantin explained.

“Can confirm the not driving part. Guy had his license revoked for that move. Rightfully so if you ask me…” Valentin added.

Kivenaal grabbed his rifle and settled in at the 75 meter target, lightly shaking his head as he saw the shotgun-like spread of Mary’s most recent attempt at shooting. He put 5 rounds downrange, making a fairly sensible spread on the target. “I’ve done better, and I’ve done worse. I’ll take it,” Kivenaal said.

Malavera then stepped up and casually put five holes almost-dead-center of the bullseye. “Target’s too close to be much of a challenge,” he admitted. “Granted, there’s not enough distance here to really get a good challenge in.”

Takaraya took his turn, seeming somewhat annoyed by a grouping that looked very much like Kivenaal’s. “Remind me next time to extend the stock. Apparently, it does help even if I don’t feel the recoil anymore,” Takaraya said, before removing the magazine, clearing the chamber, and setting the rifle on the table with the safety on.

“Holy mother of… would like to know what exactly happened, but at this point i am too afraid to ask…” Mary said in shock, at which point William could not stop himself:
“You really had to bring the memes into this?” He said, trying to hold back the amusement gained from shitty puns.

“Long story short, guy with the van tried to overtake our group of 40-odd people in a place where there was not enough space to pull that off, let alone pull that off safely. Ran head-first into some farm tractor poking out of a driveway. Got sent back across the road, taking half of us with it. If you want the long story, i can get the accident report to you. As per the tattoo, it literally is a link to an unlisted YouTube video that some first-time rider at GSCC made of the immediate aftermath. The direct link has just a black screen for visuals, to protect identities of the affected,” Valentin explained almost nonchalantly, which added more fuel to the fire for Mary, who thought that this must have been a semi-frequent occurence for Valentin and his friends.

As such, she just stood there, absolutely dumbfounded and trying to comprehend it all.

“Geeezzzzz… Hope you are okay,” Mary eventually stammers, the target practice for the others already being done with as they all listened in on the unfolding conversation.

“Other than a good two kilos in titanium holding a few bones and joints together, lots of scar tissue and a couple months in hospital, i am about as good as can be…” Valentin responded.

“And like… mentally?”

“Norse took the worst of it on that one, honestly…” Valentin said as he vaguely looked over to Norse, who currently was currently carving something out of a piece of wood with a vegetable knife, “…most of the info i have on how it unfolded came from third-party accounts. My own memory stops at the Van being next to me… and restarts in hospital.”

Malavera spoke up with, “I was the one who found out about it for the rest of the crew. I’d noticed that, well, he hadn’t been online for several days, and… I was worried.” He made his rifle safe, set it on the table, then grabbed his phone and opened up the file browser. “I… Saved an offline copy of the video, but, well, I’ll leave it up to Val whether to play it.” He looked over with his other head to see Norse, then added, “It… Might be a bit much for Norse to hear this. I don’t know, but I also know I’m going to feel awful if I ruin Norse’s day again.”

“I personally take no issue with it. Otherwise i would not have permanently linked it onto my clavicle. I created a local copy myself in case it comes up. Though i am warning you about listener discretion. The audio is entirely unfiltered,” Valentin said, once again glancing over at Norse, then pulling out his phone and doing the same as Malavera, “if he hears this over Robert the second, then he is deliberately eavesdropping.”

A moment of contemplation followed before Mary faintly nodded at both Malavera and Valentin.
Malavera then pocketed his phone for Valentin to do the playback of the file at a volume just loud enough for the immediate surroundings to hear.

Description of the Audio file; read at own discretion

The file itself initially is a mass of white noise, rattling and other random sounds before it somewhat stabilizes into a very disjointed choir of screaming and moaning overshadowing a few snippets of phrases muttered in shock by those physically uninjured.
A very distinct voice [Norse] can be heard shouting his lungs out in desperation, directed at someone that cannot be identified by voice alone. Another voice is heard in the process of hastily contacting emergency services, though the critical details are missing or unintelligible.

The mixture of above continues for another minute or so before a helicopter approaching can be heard. Eventually, all the moaning, screaming and talking is drowned out by wind noise, at which point the clip ends.

The immediate aftermath is pure and utter silence, only disturbed by Valentin returning his phone to the pocket it came out of.

When the file played, Takaraya gave a startled flinch, not liking how similar it was to the flight-recording data from his failed mission. The screams, the noise, the chaos, it was alarmingly similar. He took in a shivered breath, despite the warmth outside, closing his metal hands into fists in the moment. Thankfully, the file ran for only a minute, but it was clear to those who knew him that Takaraya had been a bit rattled.

Kivenaal looked over to Takaraya and cautiously put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he said, just trying to help a friend.

Malavera glanced at Takaraya and then mentioned, “I’m sorry. If I had known you’d have a reaction like this… I’d have warned you in advance.”

None of the humans present managed to pick up on Takaraya’s flinch.

Though Mary eventually turns around to face Constantin and, almost ceremonially, hands him both the rifle and the sidearm.
Confused, Constantin takes both: “Umm… what is this about?”
“I’m no longer taking part in this bullshit! I’m done with this,” Mary shouts, also handing over minor items in the process.
“Can’t say that was unexpected…” Hans mumbled, the others agreeing more or less obviously.

It took a moment for Constantin to finish computing the request:
“Alright… this is a less than ideal moment, but in basic, you are entitled to leave at any time. If you have brought Civilian clothing, get changed and return anything that belongs to the Navy. If not, go procure some.”

Jayde startled as he heard Mary’s outburst, taking a staggered half-step on his way to the range for some pistol practice. “Okay, that was certainly unexpected,” Jayde said to himself.

“If you’d been here three minutes ago, it wouldn’t be,” Malavera replied.

“Right. She’s leaving the military because…” Jayde looked around at everyone there to gather all the information he could, then finished with, “I’d guess Val played the file behind that QR code.”

“You know, it’s fucking scary when you do that, Jayde,” Malavera said. “That perception of yours, combined with your intuition, how are you that accurate?”

“I was trained to do this, Mal,” Jayde said. He looked to Mary, his jade-green eyes glancing over her uniform for a moment before he then said, “I can loan you some money to get civilian clothes.”

“Should have gone into detective work with that kind of deduction…” Valentin comments, hiding the tattoo again.

“Do you have PayPal or something so that i can pay you back once we are done with this? Also, i don’t know for how much a set of clothes goes around here, so there’s that as well…” Mary asks, quickly being confirmed by Jayde regarding PayPal. Not long after, she finds herself with an assortment of coins, with which she heads off into town.

“She surely seems serious about this…” Valentin mentioned while watching Mary disappear behind some street corner.

Malavera looked to Valentin, then said, “I’ve suggested the same thing to him a time or two. Between his deductive skills and his other… talents, he could solve a lot of crimes… If it wasn’t for the fact that he wouldn’t fit in the uniform. Yes, that’s the reason he gave for not trying.”

When Valentin mentioned Mary seemed serious about leaving the military, Takaraya nodded and said, “We all have a breaking point.”

“Well that calls it for target shooting for now. Patel and I swap spots for the watch, so you’re with Dupont now. Apart from that, back to base.” Constantin ordered, at which point the range was vacated, leaving only Shift Happens and Valentin.

“I think i am going to try your handguns some other time…” Valentin noted “the rifles… at least yours, are too much for my shoulder to take.”

He then turned around and also headed back to his compartment, soon after joined by Norse, who seemed mentally stable, even if it was fairly obvious to him that the topic came up again.

“Not a problem,” Malavera said. “You ever want to do some pistol practice, just find me, I’ll gladly go to the range with you and we can take turns hitting targets.”

Takaraya left without a word, seeming somewhat lost in his own thoughts as he unloaded his weapons and put them back in the truck. Kivenaal and Malavera left a few moments later, and with the recruits gone as well as everyone else, Jayde sighed and holstered his revolver, returning to the trucks.

A few hours later, Mary returned with some new clothes and handed Jayde what was left of the money he’d loaned her after she’d bought what she needed, then returned to the compartment train to sort out her sleeping arrangements.

3 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 8

S T A N D - O F F _A N D _T A K E D O W N

(Besides all characters belonging by our team, we might mention Kate (character of @doot)
Text is pre-approved by him)

Only so much could be extracted from successful hunt few days ago.
As such, our protagonist had decided to fetch some more and encountered open door to rear end of vehicle, which prompted hopping in.
She helped herself a little until she heard deep growl sourcing from this same space.
This made her stressed out as growl was aproximately 10 feet (304.8cm) off the ground

-Whats the commotion ,bud?
Lemme check on ya…

Man had now occupied space in door. Protagonist got stressed and now exit is blocked in

-Ah i see you got yourself little bit of company…no big deal, gonna whip out spare water bowl and some reserves.
Quite the exquisite sight you are and please, dont hurt the thing…must be hungry if it decides to join us here…to Kingsburg we go

Door soon came closed and locked and situation was tense. But, both parties loosened up and tension and growling both ceased about halfway through the trip as intruder dutifully isnt eating into K9`s food and became clear K9 wasnt interested in prematurely ending life for no reason


Suddenly, both animals were taken aback by fact vehicle was now accelerating…fast.
Dyre knew what was now going to happen and was eager to tackle whoever was unfortunate enough to play on wrong side of law

-IN THE NAME OF LAW, STOP THE VEHICLE!!!

Answer prob could only be understood as even more dirt flying from wheels, picking up speed

-WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING HAVING UNDER THE HOOD…I CANT KEEP UP

Luckily for police, Kate was going in wrong direction…which, well…she kinda realised herself
Trying to go back required some handbrake turn and lot of astonishment of pursuers.
First few cars were easily weaved around, but roadblock meant car chase was over.

-WE GOT YOU SURROUNDED! SURRENDER PEACEFULLY OR WE ARE GONNA UTILISE FORCE!!

As it shall be known by this point, Kate is of small stature so believing she can easily hide in surrounding environment she made run for it

-Wait…is that…a child?
-Uhhh…not sure…

Particular K9 unit deployed also found out about this…very specific feature of his target and proceeded with caution, resulting in relatively gentle takedown

-Good job, you are going to get extra supply of meat for this
-Im intrigued as to how is this so fast
-We are going to tow it into station parking lot so this lady (directed in general direction of Kate) can serve her sentence in peace

And with that, convoy proceeded to station


Door had once again opened and K9 left again, leaving our protagonist to grasp the situation.
She was now in very big and scary town it seems, but she was sure that she will find a way.
Once again, this mighty creature had went exploring to try to find some more food that can be eaten and enjoyed later. Afterall, this is wild animal and one of most basic rules of them is survival, which includes having full belly at all times.
Easy target in sight, atleast seems so, so moving began swiftly. Not much fight is expected, as this target looks like it might not enjoy living priviledges much longer, so why bother with food?
.
.
.
And at this point, im gonna be a TV ad and deprive you of action for a little bit
Such evil of me, i know

K I N G S B U R G _C A T _F I G H T

-So, this is map?
-Yes.
-Where we now need to go?
-Kingsburg.
-Is this some kind of monarchy? Remind me.
-Dont know, dont care: it could be that it was monarchy at some point of time and name stuck bcos…reasons we cant grasp as we arent educated on its history.

Granted, we Serbs…oh, i just now recall “Kraljevo”. I was just about to say that even tho we were kingdom several times through history (and hell, we were empire at one point during middle ages thanks to particularly competent leader) we might not keep kingdom-related names for entire towns.
Our word for leader of kingdom is KRALJ and place i mentioned above “belongs to a king”, if only by literal translation of its name into few words of English.

-If they used to be monarchy, is royal family still around?
-Probably

Once again, i may need to mention Serbia as example. Yes, it USED to be kingdom, and nowadays is pretty much not kingdom but you expect “but, …” and im not gonna leave you dissapointed.
There are still members of our royal family around, which are recognised as such. Their titles have no functional power in country of their ancestors, even less in country or countries where they actually live (which to my knowledge isnt/arent Serbia itself).
And if my off-top-of-my-head memory on subject serves me (that memory used for everything i said so far), their dynasty was in power when certain failed painter from Austria decided to try to return Germanic-speaking countries to former glory, starting a bit of a war in process.

-Lets concentrate on our journey here
-Ok.
-This is the road thats listed as direct journey to there. Its some kind of logging trail
However, i think we might have better option avaiable
-Really?
-Yes, instead of following that logging trail, we are following this other logging trail
-What benefits would that give us?
-Less crowded and faster. Granted, its the same or similar distance, but it should be faster.
-That seems like rather secondary road compared to this route
-Well, it is. But it surely isnt going to be that bad.
We do have 4X4 vehicle with low-range, so it should be alright

You are free to reread what Madrias himself said on road that most, if not all other teams, tackled.
Road this team took would have some differences:

  • There is stream of water going along the route (or i guess route was made to follow said stream) so route is blessed with having fresh water
  • Another advantage of route is having very fresh mud (prob caused by said nearby stream) and not so fresh branches (unlikely to be caused by stream)
  • Road is sufficiently wide for cars to travel in two lanes…if cars in question are named Freddie
  • Its also sufficiently tall to be tunnel and equally sufficiently limited in appropriate direction by branches to count as such.
  • Noone knows if this technically counts as road. Locals that team attempted to interview do not know such pedantery, their minds being oriented to being born, sleeping, eating, drinking, pooping, peeing, farting, having kids, doing kid-making activities and dying
  • Lane or lanes (if you are Freddie) are suggestion, speed limits are myth, only police you may find up here may happen to indulge in hunting or hiking or both and same goes for civilians
  • Toilet is wherever you decide to drop the load

-This might have been a mistake
-Might? We cut, twisted and pushed most of branches to fit camper under them, not to mention fair bit of said branches was used to give some semblance of traction to Saguaro to make up this route.
-Sometimes were needed for Kontir, too
Ye, seems this was indeed mistake.
But now we have this nice smooth road of hard-packed dirt.
-I wonder what could have been if we went on same road as others.


Siviko was tasked with getting some food from local market. He reluctantly agreed, as he felt that this might be bad idea, or actually a good idea? There was feeling that something is going to happen, but beyond feeling, nothing else remains.
So he went and got fair bit of food via totally and absolutely legal means, but seems not everyone has such idea…

-Huh?

Something looking like cat, apart from additional pair of legs, had approached fast
Intentions were clear to former stray cat and fight was in order
Attacker was missed, but fight was on and all claws are out. Its clear that attacker has superior strength, speed, stamina and reflexes but its not well-versed in tactics or experience
Few human-like moves threw her off, as she didnt expect that kinda thing

-Damn, impressive physical prowess not to mention additional pair of legs.
But…i think i have a plan…

Little by little, battleground was moving towards some stands and one of them had quite robust wooden box.
Siviko saw that as opportunity, as he grew tired of this farce
Is he going to last?

-If only i can get to box…these attacks are certainly going to be powerful, but would plan work?

It seemed that there is no way out. It depended lot on luck as much as strategy, but it needed to be tried out.
Siviko got to box and was now between box and opponent, who took a swing at him.
Swing connected to the box making deep clawmarks on it and likely in it.
Protagonist from some parts of earlier posts misjudged distance and wedged her claws into the wood, making Siviko kinda victor.
He quickly exited the tricky area leaving her to try to wedge herself out.

-Hrmph, that was close and kinda stupid of her

He decided to leave with food, leaving the animal trying to unsuccessfully free herself
But…something felt not quite right, it felt that wasnt nice thing to do (well it wasnt, but was he obliged to free this thing after it attacked him for food? No? Certainly the beginning of some short debate)

-Either way, i guess we werent that different: many snacks were obtained in fights during my life on streets
But someone else can free her
On other hand, this thing is so weird yet so familiar. Smells nice too

Some kinda merciful decision was made

-Give me some knife of sorts and some kind of hammer. Chisel would be ideal, but can work with knife.
-NO, you arent going to kill Jagriska
-Wtf is that?
-Your opponent stuck with that box
-Ah. Those are rare around here?
-Understatement.
-Belongs to someone?
-No. Wild animal
-Jagriska is, therefore, not a first name of that?
-Indeed, there are many like it elsewhere. They appear in Rift and sometimes join the travelers that go through said Rift. Jagriska is name of their entire kind
They can be great pets for people that arent into magic or useful familiars for ones that are.
-Hmm, that sounds very interesting…either way, i dont want to repeat the fight again…but on other hand, i do have mercy myself.
Was stray cat myself, roaming many streets in my younger age
-Very well

Armed with chisel and hammer, he attempted to free this “Jagriska” thing. She was still very moody upon defeat, but Siviko was now usefully armed and able to deflect attack with tools

-I suggest you admiting defeat. Otherwise i might just break bone or two with hammer and you arent going to hunt as easily for quite a while.

Point wasnt coming to her head until Siviko found opening and directed hammer at her head. Hammer stopped before making contact, but was close enough for Jagriska to connect the dots and realise this was wrong target.
Result was indeed Siviko’s win via her retreat and he hauled the food back to the camp

-Nice, so much food
-Yes, i had put some effort to get it
I was attacked by some six-legged cat-thing named Jagriska
-I recall some teams getting them when going through Rift previous year
They would just jump on roof or in car.
-They werent hostile?
-They hurt noone, so…i guess so?
Why were you attacked?
-Probably a stray that thought this is easy food

Pause

-You didnt gave it any?
-No. It shall be thankful i didnt left it stuck to some box or hit it with very hammer i used to free it from box in question.
-That wasnt very nice of you
-Neither was attack nice, but…i dont doubt it will manage. Its in very good physical shape and young.
-If you say so

Preparations for the night went rather routinely, fetching power from Robert, settling in and so on and so forth.
But judging by pair of eyes that occassionaly glowed about 304.8 meters from camp (conveniently is 1000 feet: i had just recalled that three feet are one yard, but i think i like the number as-is and it would be less nice in yards) its not over in any way, shape or capacity for prob most-mentioned female in these posts.

2 Likes

Stage 9:

Kingsburg to Queensdale


Temperature at mid-day: 22°C

Night-time Low: 14°C

Weather: Humidity remains high, but the thick cloud cover is gradually gone by about 3 sun. Winds have not changed much from yesterday as well.


Camp Challenge: “On a Hope and a Prayer” (No Support Vehicle.)


Today, we spend most of our time on Highway Route 11, driving on a road with 75 MPH / 120km/h posted signs all while feeling like a roller coaster. We’d be going that speed limit if it wasn’t for the huge amount of traffic clogging up the road, doing 55 MPH in all three lanes. This is, of course, made worse by the number of cops pulling over cars for doing illegal passes. Apparently, passing cars on their right-hand side is very much a no-no around here.

Eventually, though, we see the huge city of Queensdale. Here, it’s clear that THIS was probably the capital city at one point in time, with the huge surrounding wall. The city is loosely styled after a crown, and as we arrive through the main gates, it’s actually proven that it was the capital… When Nehmenweld was a Crugandrian colony.

We’re eventually able to make it to the far side of the city, where we end up in a fairly large camping space about 3 miles from the last train station. An interesting feature of Queensdale’s train station is that the pair of stations were built into the great outer wall deliberately, making it one of the first cities in Nehmenweld completely designed around having rail access. A tram connects both stations together, ferrying people from one half of the city to the other.

As for our campground… It’s a nice grassy place with a lot of space for us to get settled in.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: high
Road Condition: moderate
Traffic: very low
Police: low


Results Here: SR23 Stage 9 - Google Drive


Camp Challenge Winners:

Interior (Team Not-so slow)
AMuteCrypt (Team Flaming Gallahs)
Edsel (Team Friendship! :D)
AndiD (Team Taciturn)
BannedByAndroid (Team ReUnity)
Mikonp7 (Team GUNSHIP)
LDub (4 Dicks in a Truck)


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Other than a brief stop for Takaraya to talk himself out of a speeding ticket, it was a relatively smooth trip.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

It was going well in the train, right up until something caused the wireless communication between the four units to shut down. With three units stuck at idle, Robert II was forced to slow down, then wait in a siding while Valentin solved the problem.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

No breakdowns, no traffic stops, just a slow and dirty drive today.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

There’s not much to say after the head-gasket repair yesterday. The Imbe runs a “perfect” stage, with the engine pinging away like crazy thanks to the heat.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

Between a cop stop and 4 shredded tires, it’s a long day for this team.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

It’s a clean run for both cars today. The only delays are the gas stops.


@Doot

The Knockouts

After getting a face full of dirt in the last stage courtesy of a Dyre, Kate is much more cautious today to avoid wrong turns. She makes it to the end without a problem. Octavia, however, has a fair bit of fun changing a serpentine belt.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Four flats on the Kontir Cunningham result in a fair bit of lost time.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

We’re not sure what turned both old ladies into shutter-bugs here, but a bit over 3 hours were lost to photography.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

It’s a party when the party bus gets stuck at the side of the road with a steering problem. It takes a bit of fixing, but the bus returns to the road a few hours later.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Nothing much to see here for the bus full of cars. It’s just an ordinary day in traffic.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

The only breakdown experienced today is the mental one from Marie as she starts screaming about how she really, really wants a beer.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

Most of the stage was spent arguing about who put the scratch on the door of the minivan, which was a relaxing change of pace from maintenance and repairs.


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Unfortunately, there’s a bit of bad news with the Aether 11/2. This bad news leads to a full engine swap.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Forward progress continues! No police stops, no breakdowns, just one very reliable Mara.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

Floor it and hang on tight! One fast crossover makes it to the finish without getting busted.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

No trouble for either half of the team today.


@IDK158

Team J3

Between a speeding ticket, the Tiharris not starting up after the traffic stop, and then a windowed engine block in the Rhien, it was a long, long day of fixing cars. The Tiharris was used to tow the Rhien back to camp where the trio worked extra hard trying to fix it.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Other than being unable to pass up a gas station, it’s a smooth journey here today.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

The Seikatsu’s driver gets a ticket after their wide truck bed breaks the aerial off the back of one of the patrol cars.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

After getting off at the wrong exit, it’s a 4 hour journey trying to get back on the route. Luckily, the only setback is a minor traffic stop for the Bowie Bearcat’s driver being a bit of a leadfoot… And the officer gave some directions that got the crew back on track.


@Xepy

Team “486”

Two vehicles speed into camp without a problem.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

Other than the Baumhauer getting a minor traffic stop for speeding, it’s not so bad today.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

Passing on the right is a no-no. The driver of the Blue Wonder learned that with a nice expensive traffic ticket today.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

No stops, no problems, no worries.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

The Trailduster’s engine conked out, which was bad enough. Then the Linx rear-ended it and damaged the radiator. Ten hours of repairs later, however, and both vehicles were back on the road, even if it did look like a giant had played soccer with the Linx’s front end.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Another team with no breakdowns, no stops, and no problems.


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Another team who fell prey to the wrong exit problem. Unfortunately, it took a hell of a lot longer for the leadfoot behind the wheel to get a warning for speeding, and a chance to ask for directions.


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

It’s a long drive in a rattletrap truck and a nice trailer. Thankfully, there are no issues today.

3 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

PART 6.1 - CRUNCH!

Earlier parts

Pre-prologue part 1

Pre-prologue part 2

Prologue part 0.1

Prologue part 0.15 - Interlude

Prologue part 0.2

Prologue part 0.3

Prologue part 0.4

Part 1.1 - What’s that smell?

Part 2.1 - Can I see your driver’s license, please?

Part 3.1 - No beer means no drama

Part 4.1 - HOOOOOOONK!

Part 4.2 - The party

Part 5.1 - Knock, knock, who’s there?

PART 6.1 -Crunch!

At something that looked like an ordinary day in late may where they’re coming from, our (cough!) heroes left Nehmenweld in their two Ariyan trucks, as usual, the little Rugger followed by the larger Wolverine. Marie, of course, was getting less and less enthusiastic for every day as she crunched through the gears of the Wolverine.

“I’m bored”, Marie said.

“Well, just make the best of the situation”, Arne answered.
“Whooops, I think I got a chewing gum under my shoe, it was hard to get loose”, she said, pretending to try to get the foot loose from the floor mat while flicking the dimmer switch for the high beams a thousand times.

“Great, what is it now?”, Andreas said in the Rugger. “She is flicking the high beams like crazy!”

“Marie, what the fuck is it?”, Janne sighed in the CB.

“Nothing, I just got a gum under my shoe!”, she answered.

“If you don’t stop flicking those goddamned high beams, I will remove the gum with a hacksaw and take your stupid foot at the same time”, Janne answered, more than just a little bit annoyed.

“Fine”, she said, pressed down on the accelerator just to hold a distance of “too fucking close” to the Rugger.

“I’m going to give that fat stupid hag what she wants”, Andreas said, a bit furious, and stepped on the brake pedal.

CRUNCH!

The bed of the Rugger suddenly got a “new” kind of shape and some fiberglass bits of the canopy flew all over the road when it got a Wolverine embedded into the tailgate.

“Watch how you’re driving, you jackass!”, Andreas laughed in the CB.

“Oh, yeah, is this how you want it?”, Marie said, yanked the steering wheel to the left, and floored the accelerator. The Wolverine passed the Rugger as fast as it could, and then braked in front of the Rugger. Andreas, however, swerved to the left and passed the Wolverine once again, and the pattern seemed to repeat multiple times.

“I don’t know what she is thinking with”, Andreas said to Janne.

“Thinking?”, Janne sighed. “Has that ever happened?”

Without much more drama than Marie seeking revenge by constantly blaring the horn for the last kilometers, the somewhat twisted Rugger rolled into camp, followed by a frenetically honking, desert coloured military truck.

TO BE CONTINUED…

3 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 9

New wheels, such a luxury

Back on terrain that would be more familiar to currently absent SR crew, rest of team still tries to figure out stuff like moving elsewhere and getting some cars to go along with it.
Phone rings

-Hello.
-Hello buddy, i got a great deal on sum cars. Imported straight from Araga, bro.
-Who are you?? How you got this number??
-Details like that arent important
-You consider basic courtesy of introducing yourself a “detail”? Also not only i should be concerned about that, but also about how you gotten this phone number.
-There is nothing to be concerned about: i heard you could be potential customers and therefore i gotten extra mile to get to you.
-Khm, sorry…i may need to say goodbye

Call ended on our side, with phone being turned off.

-Such a jerk, good thing i may change number when we finally move and sell this SIM card to someone more needy…probably.
-You are aware that caller might call them and annoy?
-I dont have such feeling
-You are, to put it blankly, a robot
-We shall wait

As expected, turning on the phone resulted in receiving many messages both from provider saying about many missed calls and from man himself, listing what he has avaiable.
Chicota Senior did some digging and realised that phone of this annoying stranger is linked to some make-shift car seller indeed.

-I may after all pay some visit, we do need cars to transport ourselves around.
-Oh, such a change of heart
-Well, you gotta have guts to call strangers on phone to get them to buy your cars
-Ok then
Question, how are you gonna get there?
-I dunno…fly or some shit?
-It would be nice to get several cars, so you need company.
-Fine

Part about 4 of them being forced to take rather lengthy trip to this car seller would certainly not be very interesting, as its hopping from bus to bus in essence.
They were at location, which was crudely fenced area in middle of nowhere. Said area did had used cars on the lot

-Hello. I expected you lot here.
-How exactly?
-Intuition
Anyway, cars. As you can see, there is fair bit of them.
-Yes, and it seems all of them are kinda old.
-Its what it is. Anyway, cars. But first, COME THE FUCK UP HERE YOU LOT

Three figures appeared.

-Its easier to get business done if several cars are being considered at same time.
-You had my curiosity, now you have my interest.
-Good.

Chicota Senior and Aydar Junior had looked at Petunia and Bibet.

-All of us shall inspect these things as best as possible to avoid being ripped off
-Ok

They split and Chicota found himself alongside Rosanda Sieben Kombi from 1965, which is rather interesting concept of wagon.

-It seats 8
-Yup
-Its very comfortable
-Yup
-It has sufficient power to propel itself
-That too, but still im not sure.
-We can take it for test drive
-Oh, that would be nice

Test drive was nice indeed, but entertainment was likely very underwhelming.
Still, comfortable place to be in for 8 people meant radio being underwhelming wasnt much of deal breaker and fuel consumption was on expected levels for big heavy car with equally big and heavy engine
This is never going to be appropriate choice for Shitbox Rally, but then again it wasnt like price wasnt good for what it is.

-It does seem good to me
-Im happy to hear that
-I guess we will buy it, beats the bus.

As it turns out, rest had also bought three other cars, so it was lonely drive in 4 car convoy affair. Biggest and second most powerful member of convoy was also one that can seat most, as other buys are all sedans and as such, limited to two rows.
But in general, all were perfectly happy with purchases today as all cars were able to fit some more-or-less specific roles in the group.

-Ok, i guess that dude wasnt such bad thing afterall. We got some cars to move around in.
-True, but your choice was hopelessly too big for regular use. We can stuff ourself in three rows and wouldnt require 5.4m of car to do so
-This provides fair bit of comfort, plus you can actually put your luggage somewhere as well

To get into mood of correctly noting next part name, listen to this . Note the closest line to part name and thats how your author intended for it to be pronounced

We are on road to Queensdale

There is hope that, apart from Saguaro’s gas-guzzling tendencies, there would be no further issues.

-We really should have retuned the engine to be more economical
-Probably, but i guess we are out of luck there.
-Its probably not as bad as it could be for some other participants
-Probably true

And indeed was true, certain muscle car with big V12 required 5 refuels on this stage. Saguaro needed only 2.
As you can probably assume yourself from small writeup by Madrias, all tires on Kontir would fail at one point or another.

-I have an idea. Lets get off highway on terrain beside it and floor it. Technically we arent on road, so they cant give us a ticket
-Briliant idea, but we in Saguaro prob couldnt follow.
-True, but if this goes to plan, we are going to meet in town again. First car to town is gathering some more supplies then we unite and head to camp.

After several grueling units of measure for distance, plan had kinda failed.
Chicota kept it together, but it was clear tires werent prepared for this kind of abuse: specifically, front ones had failed to keep air inside of them

-What a bunch of idiots!
-HEY…nevermind.
-You seemed to break speed limit set at 75mph/120kmph
-It wasnt on the road
-It would still count as something we can give warning or ticket for. Afterall, you could have wiped us out.
-Hmm, true.

Screeching of tires was heard and Saguaro had joined.

-What happened? You guys got ticket?
-We blew front tires. Conveniently near some locals.
-Hmm, yea, locals…right
-Btw we might need to refuel
-We got you bro

So refueling happened, first for Saguaro.

-Damn, they have some fuel with them
-Yes, bcos its always good to have some fuel with you if you arent sure where is next fuel station.
-You are travelling?
-Kinda. We participate in Shitbox Rally, which is event done for fun. It starts in something called Nevada desert, country is United States of America, planet Earth. Organizers are fellow team called Shift Happens.
-Funny name
-It denotes very interesting bunch of beings.

At about this time, policemen received information about some car flying by them.
It was immensely fast and followed by like 10 patrol units.

-How is that possible?
-Technology advancements: i believe that car is also participant in rally.
-Really?
-I guess. Not all of our cars would be that fast but, we are capable of making some rather fast machines.
-How fast?
-Fair bit of them can break speed limit here two times over and this kind of vehicles isnt even that expensive or hard to get.
Three times the speed limit is possible, but you are likely going to give up lot of money for that luxury and these arent going to be suitable for families. Ofc kind of people that can afford these can likely afford something else as well, that would cover that kinda duty.
-What kind of speed limits exist there?
-On Earth?
-Yes
-That depends on area and country. I recall one country having no speed limits on their highways and then there are others with varying speed limits.
Country we are currently stationed in has highway limit of 120 kmph and one of its neighbors has 130 kmph.

Policeman thought

-Those are top speeds in countries?
-Obviously, in towns and villages limit is 50, unless you happen to pass by school in which case its 30 kmph.
Kids arent as good of judging how much time would pass until car arrives to their position and ofc they are more fragile
-Ofc

Pause, during which tire situation was kinda patched and sorted out

-We would like to continue journey to Queensdale.
-We need to refuel
-WHAT?!? HAVENT I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY TO MAKE SURE WE ARE FILLED
-Uhhhh…you did, but i forgot.
-I dont think we are gonna have any spare patrol cars to bring us some
-We could refuel you lot. It was specifically requested of us to tune our cars to work on local fuel. I havent kept track, but i think that both our vehicles and these spare fuel tanks are from local fuel stations
-For what price?
-Uhhh…i guess it would be nice to be able to refill again when we get to fuel station.
-Deal

Fuel transfer has happened and our vehicles drove away

-Next time, i doubt we would be able to refill on the spot…so dont forget next time
-Ok.


Next fuel station was place to fill every fuel tank brought, including main ones for cars.
Journey continued and it seemed this is THE town to get supplies from.

-Ok, so we are going to split up and get some supplies
-Ok

Owing to nature of steering almost 6.3m of truck in town, Chicota decided this is good place to practice some handbrake skills.
For uninformed, said handbrake brakes rear wheels and as such breaks delicate balance between front and rear grip.
Due to nature of equally steering via handbrake as is case with steering wheel, it wasnt long before pop had happened.

-Damn, i guess this is fully and absolutely on you
-Its fiiine

Another rear tire followed example, making it rather easy to hang the tail out.

-I guess we must repair the tires…or change them
-Yes.

Add some fresh rubber on list of supplies
But this team of eight members is not finished yet with town sighting…

Sedam->osam

Camp had a keen observer whole time packing out. Still at distance of 1000 feet or 304.8m, Siviko’s opponent from day before saw…opportunity i guess.
In relatively short period of time, she was at edge of camp taking advantage of some meat that was nearby.
Siviko havent even noticed this event and amount of meat wasnt substantial anyway.
Further hurt on meat-based supplies was inflicted when group was about to go and she literally jumped in back of vehicle, feasting greatly.

She knew there is chance of being discovered when vehicle stops, so she would exit when she hears voices and vehicle starts slowing down.
Just before entering the town, this escape process was repeated and Kontir was followed on foot from that point on.


Trip to butcher shop had been instrumental in failing the plan. She sensed that this is prob last stop before going away, when she can exit vehicle again.
This was correct, but she took bigger bite than she could stomach in such short time period, biggest feast in her life.
Dozing off, drifting to sleep…

-WHO TF ARE YOU AND WHAT YOU DID TO OUR MEAT?!?

Eyes opened to reveal Chicota Junior being pissed at this stray decimating meat supplies
Rest of team had piled up to see the commotion

-Oh hey, this is very same stray that tried to take food from me yesterday
-Really?
-Yes.

Her eyes being directed at him indicated that recognition is mutual

-What do we do with her? Throw her out and hope she aint gonna visit again? Mind you, this being has no way to pay us back in money for all meat she ate.
-She?
-Seems to be female based on what i can see.
-Lemme check

Chicota got in and decided to lift left leg in last pair.
Reaction was not happy, but Chicota received no damage

-Shut up, im trying to not misgender you. I know some people would be very sensitive on matter

Rest laughed at remark

-Female indeed
-Oh ye, i can confirm being in fight with her
-Ok, so female.
-Yes

She farted

-She can also fart, it seems
-Quite terrible smell
-I vote to take her out
-Yes but its girl. It might be your chance…
-DAD, no love was made from fight.
-Im unconvinced
-We shall keep her, she is cute
-She is fucking danger to supplies

Andrea had went in to prove this fella is cute. Last time this being was in close contact with female human was…less than satisfactory experience. It also ended up in her being chased away.
This encounter now ended up in no less than four individuals wincing in pain of some sort

-OW, that was rude of you

Andrea looked at freshly scratched arm of hers, courtesy of claws of this “cat”.
Chicota and Pi were both very unhappy at this, as both loved Andrea dearly and werent fond of her getting hurt.
This was also first time claws were used since their meetup with box and user of claws also winced in pain, indicating said paws are hurting.

-Chicota, you should take her out of our vehicle.
-Oh, im gonna do much more than that
-Please dont kill her
-She had eaten our meat and now scratched Andrea.
-Its indicated to be rare animal.
-I dont care, she scratched Andrea and thats hardly acceptable

Animal got very tense, seeing that Chicota’s voice became louder and louder and overall vibe les and less nice.
Time to go, it seems, so it took some space and accelerated to as high speed as she could, jumped over tailgate and bolted into wilderness.


Several hours had passed and this wasnt very nice pain to experience.
She scratched the girl and for what, protecting herself?
Girl didnt seemed willing to hurt her.
How is she going to hunt for food? Ok, its not really all or nothing, but no matter how she tries to get around the issue, pain isnt leaving her.

-Hello, are you there?
-Im not sure if she can understand us. Im sure she can hear, but not understand.

And indeed tension was there as Siviko was entirely correct. But for some reason she was still in current place
Maybe she hears only 6 legs going towards her and wait for it, familiar voices.
Some sources of light are noticed and her eyes reflected the light.

-There you are
-We…havent came to hurt you.

No words were understood, but they didnt sounded angry or otherwise willing to hurt her.

-Someone should take look at your paws
Seems you injured yourself
-Be careful to not get scratched again

Reaction was similar to what happened in camp and with yelp, she decided to attack again.
To her surprize, attack was caught.
Andrea decided to inspect this paw that she had avaiable now

-Can you light here? Im trying to see
Ok, it doesnt seem you have any blood here, so i guess its not injury of that kind.
When you two fought, she only gotten front ones stuck with that box?
-Correct
-Gotta need to borrow this one here, then

Andrea got closer and looked at front paw in left hand and middle paw in right, trying to find differences.

-This may hurt.

Andrea tried to apply some pressure with her fingers on middle paw. Patient didnt responded noticeably.
Procedure was repeated for front and it became clear this did hurt

-Ok, i have no idea what is it, but it might be good idea to see if we can check you at some vet of sorts
I guess we will bring you with us, i guess its only right for us to try to fix your pain bcos i guess we kinda caused it in first place.
-Uhhhhh…actually nevermind, you are right.

Overall this was prob confusing encounter. Some moves here had brought pain, which patient didnt liked, but upon seeing discomfort thats stopped.
Confusion was prob brought out for comparing middle and front paw as well. Activities on middle paw, confirmed to be good, left no pain. Different thing was the case for front ones, pain indeed.
Pain wasnt caused for desire of pain, but…it seemed that they try to help her here.
Tension would also be decreased by being petted, which was now the case.

-Would she even want to go back? Chicota is still not happy.
-True, but i feel i can convince him not to hurt her further.
-Could you convince her that he isnt gonna hurt her?
-We will see…

Some more hours had passed and couple more characters had came. They came to interesting discovery of Andrea and this six-legged creature being snuggled together, asleep. Siviko isnt much further either.
Chicota shook his crush by shoulder

-Wake up, we gotta go to camp
-Hrmph…oh thats you.
-Yes. You might catch cold without proper blanket.
-Helps being beside warm companion

Chicota only now took care of noting what she snuggled with.

-We gotta help her. Front paws…i dunno what is wrong, but she seems to be hurt there.
Prob when she tried to pull them out of box in which she stuck them during fight with Siviko
-She scratched you
-Uhm, yes, but its not bcos she is violent. Look how we got along just fine.
-Im mot convinced
-Please, we shall help her.
-And what do we do, load her up on hosts?
-We have plenty of space ourself. And its not like creature of the wild is going to be too needy.
-Will think about it

She and Loojoe had bit of standoff broken by his woof and her…sound. Loojoe made distance, woofed again, turned again, nudged her with paw or his muzzle and repeated the process.
Patient looked around and seems all is fine and good in world, so she went with them.
Havent felt fully safe, so she took place near tailgate, but still on some bed of sorts bcos comfy.

-Goodnight

Andrea kissed her in head, answered by some kind of unexpected headbutt

-Ow, could have warned you would do that…but seems thats your way to say “goodnight”…

And indeed, everyone went asleep apart from Chicota, who didnt felt like sleeping.
He took trip around truck and car to see everyone is safe and sound.
Tad bit longer he looked at new member

-Seems we are 8 member group now


After that was done, he sat in car and spent about half an Aetherian hour doing so.
Andrea was so nice to this six-legged thing despite being hurt. Scratch that (no pun intended) she is just…nice.
Its indeed both true that he used to have crush on VerBanka and that Andrea is based on, and therefore rather similar to, that very VerBanka.
But he seems more and more convinced that indeed he likes her for her, not bcos she is based on someone else…this however seems to be tad bit harder to prove.

Andrea also had thoughts towards him. She was glad he forgave the new member for scratching her, bcos she decided to help her out.
As much as he did had some “skeletons in closet” so to speak, she felt those things being les and less relevant.
He is strong, smart, funny and generally good-natured, after all. His consumption of alcohol wouldnt worry her at all.

But thats all prob going to be even clearer as we move on and i will let you concentrate on two people doing rounds around camp at that time.
They were last thing Chicota looked at before finally drifting into his sleep…

2 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

PART 7.1 - AIRLESS AFTERMATH

Earlier parts

Pre-prologue part 1

Pre-prologue part 2

Prologue part 0.1

Prologue part 0.15 - Interlude

Prologue part 0.2

Prologue part 0.3

Prologue part 0.4

Part 1.1 - What’s that smell?

Part 2.1 - Can I see your driver’s license, please?

Part 3.1 - No beer means no drama

Part 4.1 - HOOOOOOONK!

Part 4.2 - The party

Part 5.1 - Knock, knock, who’s there?

Part 6.1 - CRUNCH!

PART 7.1 -Airless aftermath

It could all have been fun and games between Nehmenweld national park and Sundale. Could have, was the word. Andreas, however, was mostly worried about a certain sound.

“Something is whining”, Andreas said.

“It is probably only interference from the alternator to the stereo”, Janne said.

Hej på dig Evert, boogie-woogie - YouTube

Cranking up “Evert boogie woogie”, Andreas could notice that the whine did not get louder.

“It can’t be the stereo”, he said.

“Yeah, but can you hear it anymore?”, Janne said.

“No, because I can only hear Evert boogie woogie”, Andreas answered.

“So what’s the problem? It’s a rickety 40 year old truck, you can’t care about every little sound you hear….”, Janne grumbled.

“There’s some smoke coming from your rear”, Marie said in the CB.

“I bet it smells better than whatever comes out from your rear regions”, Janne answered.

“BAWOOOOOM flaffallflflfalflalfalflalalfalfl….”

“We should probably have taken it seriously”, Andreas grumbled when rolling to the side with a flat rear tyre.

“Bah, like we haven’t changed flat tyres before”, Janne grumbled back.

“And now the brake failure light is lit too”, Andreas said.

“Low on brake fluid I bet, nothing serious”, Janne said.

Upon inspection, it became quite clear that playing bumper tag with the Wolverine wasn’t the smartest thing, considering that some sharp edges from the rusty bed clearly had some interference with the tyres after taking a new shape. By fastening a chain to the Wolverine and to the bed, and doing some quick reversing with the Wolverine, the bed was back in shape good enough for the tyres to roll freely again. Though, it was not the only problem it looked like.

“Oh crap”, Janne said. “That’s one shot brake line. Well, you’re right.”

“Oh, so you admit that I am right for the first time ever?”, Andreas said.

“No”, Janne answered, “I think we took some brake lines from one of the wrecks behind the barn. Get me the right one, we have no time to spare”.

Changing the brake line was a fast affair, but as usual on this generation Rugger, bleeding was pure hell, with air as usually getting caught in the load sensing valve for the rear axle. Lots of swear words later, the team rolled away towards camp, with everyone agreeing that it was Marie’s fault in one way or another. Except for Marie that was pretty sure that Donald Duck was at fault, which is a completely different story…

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Stage 10:

Queensdale to Gasstop


Temp. at mid-day: 30°C

Night-time Low: 24°C

Weather: Cloud cover starts increasing and eventually unleashes the occasional, strong shower for the afternoon. The showers turn into a breezy drizzle by the evening.


Camp Challenge: Miles per Gallon, Best and Worst.


We leave our comfortable campground on a lightly-rainy day, blessed only with the fact that it’s warm rain and not cold. We head out onto the curiously named “jungle highway” and cannonball our way northwest, slowly descending the whole way as more and more trees become visible.

It quickly becomes obvious that, very soon, we’ll be taking another little trip on some terrible roads.

Today, however, it’s still glorious 55 MPH / 90 km/h speed limit signs and basic traffic enforcement all the way.

When we make it to our destination, we find it’s barely even a village. They have a small railway depot where they get fuel tankers delivered, which are used to make sure people insisting on traveling through the rainforest have enough fuel to make it.

The 1500-or-so people who call this place home have named their village “Gasstop” because that’s precisely what it is for most people. A quick place to fill up a fuel tank, a couple chunky fuel cans, and grab a quick bite to eat.

We’re told to park “wherever we can find space,” and that “we just got a shipment of fuel, so fill up while you can.”


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: very low
Road Condition: very poor
Traffic: none
Police: none


Results Here: SR2023 Stage 10 - Google Drive


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

It’s a slow and steady drive for the two giant trucks, one of which is still towing double trailers. Needless to say, Kasiya is not happy about this arrangement.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Today’s track takes the scenic route, crossing above the Jungle Highway on bridges as needed, giving the crew in the four steam-powered Diones a chance to see most of the other teams on their run of this stage.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

Both team vehicles end up pulled over and given a warning for speeding.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

Best Fuel Economy: Ilaris Imbe Sport S 1.3 - 42.77 MPG

Other than the ping-o-matic rattling away under the hood the whole time it was traveling down the highway, it’s a smooth and swift journey. Finding out you got the best fuel economy was just icing on the cake.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

Nothing really new to report here. It’s another long, long drive on the Jungle Highway, the old former-luxury-car soaking up the bumps in the road.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

It’s a smooth cruise full of excitement for the explorers in the Mayland, while the support crew in the IVERA are just enjoying the drive.


@Doot

The Knockouts

Kate almost got away this time when her engine cut out. Unfortunately for her, the Dyre are exceptional trackers, and after getting her scent from the car, the hunt began. After a few minutes, Kate was caught, handcuffed, and stuffed in the back of a police car. Octavia passed by the stalled and empty car a while later, just shaking her head as she knew what it meant.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

The team in the Saguaro pushed things a little too hard and ended up off of the highway, out in the dirt. As it turns out, that’s a good way to get stuck for several hours while trying to tow out the Saguaro with the underpowered and overburdened Kontir.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

After the previous day’s photographic chaos, it seems like the old ladies put their feet down today. It’s a clean stage with no breakdowns, no traffic stops, and no more pictures.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

It’s a good, simple cruise today, no breakdowns or troubles, not even really much of an issue with traffic.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Like the other bus, it’s a breakdown-and-trouble free day for the two cars driving the bus.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Marie got pulled over today. The police saw her tailgating the Rugger and decided to find out why. As it turns out, Marie’s ranting about wanting a beer, wanting to kill the person who murdered “Mr. Spikey,” and needing to pee weren’t what the officer expected. Surprisingly enough, the officer did let her go with just a warning.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

It’s the Roadmaster that stopped the team today. One very, very flat tire, combined with being the good samaritans who removed the road debris from the highway, and being very cautious not to scratch the paint or damage the side-skirt of the van, costs a lot of time to fix.


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

That 2 hour and 16 minute delay was even before the crews started driving. You see… When a wizard overheard that the Aether 11/2 was running on the spare engine, he offered to fix it. Sure, it took a little while, but now they have a working spare engine again. On the road, however, it was the Aether 11/2 that got pulled over, and the driver got a warning to keep his speed down.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Forward progress continues with the cloaked aliens and their journey across another world. It’s another stage with the very-reliable Mara being very reliable.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

It’s hard to imagine the team was enjoying their high speed trip down the highway, but being second place has to feel pretty good.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Nothing goes wrong for this team today, even with sirens screaming the whole time.


@IDK158

Team J3

The team decided to make a deliberate delay today. After spending almost 7 hours buying some hopefully-workable spare parts for their cars, they set off on their journey with every spare square inch of space loaded down with parts.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Worst Fuel Efficiency: Juggernaut 862 Custom Aeromad - 3.47 MPG

Between the Torrento chugging fuel (as usual) and the throttle getting stuck wide open again, causing it to slam violently into the back of the Juggernaut, it’s a long day of repairs. It’s the first time that the spare parts brought for “The Jug” get to be used, and it’s amazing how much damage the Torrento was able to do while still remaining drivable. In camp, Team Aeromad is advised to take as many spare fuel cans as they think they can carry.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

The Dauer has an engine failure. While the team is fixing it and trying to figure out what exactly gouged the oil pan, they get a warning for the toolbox left in the traffic lane.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

For once, both cars manage to avoid getting pulled over or having a breakdown.


@Xepy

Team “486”

Team 486’s cannonball run across Nehmenweld continues. Fortunately for them, there are no breakdowns to slow their progress.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

Other than the Baumhauer getting a warning that they’d need to leave more space between them and the vehicles they were passing, it’s an uneventful stage.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

For once, it’s a win for the good guys. A well-placed spike strip pops all four of the Faenza’s tires, and an armored Dyre was right there to pull the driver out of the car through the window, where an officer quickly got the driver in cuffs and in the back of the patrol car. The Blue Wonder gets pulled over for speeding and gets a warning for it. Said warning includes an 11-foot-tall werewolf growling at you, wearing a bullet-resistant vest declaring he was part of the “Nehmenweld Highway Patrol," as well as an irritated patrolman who flat up stated, “Go ahead, make my day,” while resting his hand on his pistol.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

Other than both drivers getting a warning for speeding, it’s a clean run today.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

“Hey, this looks quite familiar.”
“You’re going the wrong way, you fool!”
It’s a 10 hour detour you didn’t really want to make, but it happens.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Engines like maintenance. Unfortunately, the RV’s engine hasn’t quite had enough maintenance, and it proves this by shutting down on the highway.


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Another team that sent it hard in the wrong direction. In your case, however, you asked the cop (who wrote you a ticket for speeding) how long it’d take to get to Gasstop. You were informed it was back in the other direction.


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

Between being pulled over for speeding, and then having a severe engine problem that left the truck limping along at 20 miles per hour, it’s a long, long day. A roadside engine repair gets the truck running at full power again… 12 hours after the repair started.

1 Like

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 10

Morning, everyone

Some time was needed for newest member to wake up, due to likely having one of better sleeps in while.
Half of Aetherian hour had passed before sounds and voices awoke her. Tension was clear, but it didnt take long to relax.

-Oh, good morning to you…someone had overslept…
Seems you smelled breakfast…

This wasn’t entirely true as she was awoken by general activity in camp, but breakfast was indeed ready.
Unfortunately, it was mostly made out of non-meat substances, mostly some fruit.
Her portion was left untouched, but not for long…

-Ah yes, you expected of us to only eat meat? Well, you did ate pretty much all of it yesterday and i doubt we will be willing to splurge on that now.
Besides…in hard times you sometimes can’t afford to be picky

She didn’t understand words, but sensed that this is something she would need to get used to.
Siviko had pulled off a knife and cut a piece of fruit.
He stabbed said piece and yeeted piece in her direction off knifeblade. Then he let her instincts take over in catching the piece
Taste was different, but…seems this is actually quite nice.
Expected another piece. And another one

-Ok, thats enough…i would like to eat myself.

Butchered fruit was rolled over to her and she realized its also good, maybe better than depending on small pieces.
That was until she hit teeth on something very hard.

-Oh wait…STOP STOP STOP

She was confused and now kinda angry as he had now attempted to take this away.
Attempt was successful, but before she could react, she was facing the knife

-Allow me to prepare it properly.

Once again, pieces are cut and in air, revealing that middle of fruit was…different.

-I guess for now we shall learn to not try to get through that with teeth. Very hard, can break teeth.
Rest of fruit is good to eat

Siviko now took his own fruit and demonstrated how it should be tackled. He enjoyed this fresh example a lot, as most of his life he was not of such luck.
Three fruits went down before she decided to try and replicate.
This wasn’t type of meal she is used to having but its nice nevertheless, not to mention that this old, weak and slow fella happened to posses immence knowledge and skill in dealing with various problems.


-Thank you for giving them the opportunity.
-Uhhh…what?
-Look at Siviko and her. They are getting to know each other and are also eating together.
-That was very hard thing to do. Afterall, she did physically hurt you.
-Ah yes, apparently you seem to have crush on me of sorts…or would that be crush on VerBanka and any derivative of her?
-I would be all too glad to prove my feelings arent necessarily due to that. This, however, is made much harder due to fact both you and VerBanka have similar good characteristics.
As it stands, stuff she is good at would also happen to hold value for you.

Pause for thought

-Well, if you do manage to find some noteworthy difference, im all ears.
-Does that mean you like me too?
-…I…kinda dont know myself on how to answer. My emotions are rather unclear in that regard.
Maybe its not yet time to answer, as i dont want to give false hope.

Chicota chuckled, as this sounded familiar

-Hey, that is good thing for two of us to share.
-Im aware, but still is something i may chuckle on

Andrea took a look at another member of group, who returned favour.
It was rather cold and unpleasant one

-I have feeling Amanda is not truly fan of our potential relationship
-Indeed, being physically strongest derivative of VerBanka isnt much to brag about, but…it is her current title and she would like to keep it thank you very much.
Two of us being in relationship might mean me with your nanomachines inside of me or child of two of us, which is likely duplicate (and potential result) of former option.
Either means she is passing the honors.

Chicota also looked

-That sounds like she could be decently hostile.
-Hopefully not…but im sure we can find mutual language.
-Likely a fist
-Or maybe we can haul Kasiya to solve it out.

Amanda now looked elsewhere, to be more precise, towards HD-GVs

-He had grounded her back then in Nevada. Could have sworn she would likely be super braggy otherwise.
-Prob gentle way to say she is big fish in small pond.
Its very likely that she could defeat Kasiya in fight, but that would require VERY different approach to fighting and better utilisation of whats avaiable to her.
Either way, conflict best avoided.
-True. Not to mention, when we witnessed that fight, he was fighting shirtless.
We happen to reliably know that he has armor, as he did wore it bcos of some autonomous cars in camp.
-Do you suggest he would be able to deal with bad guys we encounter?

Chicota thought and recollected the thoughts

-Depends on how he is equipped.
Like in match vs. Amanda? Not much of chance, as i doubt he is bulletproof.
With armor? Who tf would be able to know, but if that armor can tank anything baddies can throw at him, win is his for the taking.
And lets be real, there is high possibility it can indeed deal with their weaponry

Amanda chimed in

-Some of which he can probably use too
-Its not nice eavesdropping on what others are talking.
-Its not like you are particularly discreet or quiet, theme atm is to my liking, not to mention that part of convo was discussing me.
-Khm khm, i doubt you would deny that part
-Ye and i guess reasoning is clear: im unlikely to accept being weaker than weakling and she currently is such.
Do we know how good is Kasiya with sledgehammers and axes?
-We can estimate. I mean…he has strength to do it…probably but would need to get used to whole situation.
He can connect that what humans see as weapon or tool requiring two hands, might be one-hand-only affair to him.

Andrea chimed back in

-Imagine what kinda threat Kivenaal could be.
-Oh, four-armed one? Pretty cool. I doubt he is much of fan going close and personal, tho.
I watched them going at it at shooting range. He is more likely to pick up ammunition than cold weapons
-To get back to Kasiya’s case. Strength isnt problem but fact he is using mere tool to cause death…i dont think that would sit well to him.
Axes are used to chop trees, not to kill someone…well, usually.

-Oh, someone should discuss that with him.
-Nah, i dont think he would like to discuss or demonstrate…i feel like he has more important stuff to worry about
-Such as?
-Khm, khm…he just entered truck with two trailers attached to it. Seems he is the driver
-That’s unfair. Also reminds us of the need to go.

And go they went, leaving camp and one team repairing an engine behind.

Once again, i had specific idea of how exactly to read next title name, which is once again closest thing to said name heard in song

On the road

Song mentioned on explanation would be featured atleast once during this lovely journey, but we shall not forget about its namesake, which is song yours truly greatly watched in earlier days of his life. Song is pretty dope too :sweat_smile:
Anyway…back to group

Lovely group of two cars had continued their journey through the Jungle Highway and, despite quite sweet stuff she ate, newest member desired of proper meat.
Interestingly enough, she would have ample chance to hunt proper meat, as Andrea had entered corner waaaay too fast in Saguaro and yeeted herself off highway.

-What the hell you thought you are doing?
-Sorry…
-Hrmph…we now need to get truck to there and try to pull you out.
-Ye…sorry about it…

As Madrias had indeed noted himself, this was tricky to do but he listed only one reason. Terrain was not particularly well suited for doing this quickly and wasn’t designed to accomodate such big vehicles in first place.
Mat has decided he would like to practice shooting with Siviko, Loojoe and newest member by going to hunt with them. Loaded up with ammo and two guns, he went to accompany multi-legged members.
This was interesting experience for both him and new member: both were rather in awe how two older individuals fared up in this occasion and both had some difficulties on their own.
Providing that Shift Happens also decided to stop and hunt a little bit, Mat would get context on just how bad he is as marksman. Good thing those arent known for their mockery of others…
Front claws of newest member are still an issue of kinda painful sort, decreasing her hunting efficiency.
As for Loojoe and Siviko, they are just old with all consequences.
But practice can do wonders and both Mat and six-legged had improved as we move on. These two were also ones responsible for carrying the catch to vehicles where it was stored and some small part eaten.

Pi tried to help in extracting the vehicle, but it became clear that her strength would not be sufficient and there was some gentle slipping and sliding as they attempted to pull and push vehicles back to road.
This did meant there was some mud scraping off the tires after they did reached the road so they dont end up driving on home-made slicks.

Gasstop

Bcos Krta and his company managed to get here first, they shall be covered first. Im sure this group of “soldiers” is at utmost professional level in every single way…

-Commandeer, he…he farted in my face.
-I dont recall that being my problem. Also your breath stinks.
-Yes bcos he farted.
-You said he farted in face, not mouth.
-But mouth is part of face.
-I dont think this is of much importance
-I think it is

Commandeer recollects the thoughts

-I really dont think this is something we need to do. Besides, how he could fart in face if butt and face arent on same level?
-I was asleep and lying on bench.
-That introduces question of how you know that he specifically farted in face
-I had nice dream and suddenly strong bad smell. I opened my eyes and saw butt.

Commandeer made a decision

-Thats on you two to sort out
-But…

Commandeer ignored him and decided to concentrate on more important matters. His underling that was farted and few others noticed subject of interest, deciding this must be seen, as it was following potential (mis)adventure of Kudo, son of their boss Krta.

Kudo and what i think influenced his appearance

Kudo is pronounced as Cudo i guess, but note that C is pronounced as it would be in Coke, Colgate etc.
Rest is pronounced as “udo” in Judo.
We noted he is Krta’s son already, but…he looks very different.

You see, Krta is likely a terrible parent in many measures. Kudo was objected to some experiments by his father, making him look completely unrelated to his father.
Kudo however shows no complaint on his appearance, meaning he likely holds no grudges against dad. Besides, i find it highly unlikely they would work together otherwise.

As for his appearance, just like it was case with his dad, i was likely pulling from piece of local media to do so.
Following pictures are taken from Jet Set, Serbian movie introduced in 2007 directed by Nenad Mitić and denote certain characters in said movie

As you can see, they dont look like rat, mole or human

And equally clearly, they look like (and in fact ARE) aliens

I also noted that one picture has subtitles, as these dont speak Earth languages.
“Some undefined sounds are interfering with our systems, Captain”

Whole thing is avaiable down here but note it has Serb in-built subtitles for aliens and rest of characters just straight out speak in Serbian, needing no in-built subtitles to be understood. Video itself has no option for subtitles of any kind (referring to ones that arent part of video, but auto translated via YT itself).
Can you however understand what is happening and have some laugh along the way? I believe so.

Jet Set - ceo animirani film (serija) - YouTube

Kudo has one black eye, sports human-like hands and feet, usually clothed and has visible mouth, but is otherwise quite similar to these so they are still rather good representative.

With obligatory explanation out of the way, this group saw Kudo approaching one female local.
He tried to flert with her. She wasnt amused. Upon realisation that they in fact have no spoken mutual language, she decided to translate her thoughts into…more universal language.
Thats how, as per unspoken tradition, both of his eyes received hit by her fist, resulting in both being black eyes in similar fashion as per mentioned above.
This was incredibly amusing sight for ones that watched and fella that had received gas to his face decided this is good time to get revenge.

-And thats how i was able to fart in his face
-Hey, i have something for you

Turning around, fella that delivered gas to someone’s face now received gas to his face. Gas in this case was actually a liquid, all 85 RON of it.

-Now we are even

Bucket was returned back.
As it was the case with anyone else passing through this place, these guys topped up their fuel tanks and somehow managed to pay for the pleasure.
For some locals, amusement of watching one traveller being punched twice and another one being splashed with entire bucket of fuel was indeed payment enough.


Many hours later, team Mravolinski-Chitco arrived to the camp and were surprized to see and hear some guy splashed another one with bucket full of gas, explaining still present stain and smell.
As many other teams involved, this team also took opportunity to refill all tanks intended to carry fuel.
Rest of camp was uneventful and soon enough everyone found themselves in beds

1 Like

Stage 11:

Gasstop to Lastgas


Temp. @ Mid-day: 39°C (Hottest stage)

Night-time Low: 27°C

Weather: What has been a drizzle in the morning becomes a torrential downpour for most of the day and well into the evening. Near-absolute humidity and very little wind add to the strain due to the high temperatures.


Camp Challenge: “Agh! Fuck! Snakes!” (Do NOT have a roof rack.)


As we leave the little pit-stop village, our road becomes somewhat more obvious. What was called the “Jungle Highway” on the map also included this lovely little stretch through the Jilbuur Rainforest.

We’re pretty much stuck doing 30 MPH / 50 km/h through here because while there IS a road, it’s almost as well-maintained as the Stage 8 dirt stage, except that it actually is ‘paved’. If you can consider a road that is more pothole than asphalt in area ‘paved’, that is… At times, the road seems barely wide enough to drive two cars on, and at other times, we’re snaking around trees, courtesy of a “road planner” who tried to avoid damaging the jungle he had to put a road through.

If those reasons weren’t enough to make you slow down, however, some of the wildlife probably would. While it was raining, some people heard a heavy thump on the roof and then usually “discovered” the tree snake as it tried to escape from the comparably cold and wet metal “tree” it landed on. Others saw jaguars stalking the forest, but they were jaguars the size of small lions. Worth a crash in this?

After 250 miles of rainforest driving, with an end-cap of 2.5 miles of slightly-less-shitty gravel road at either end for a total distance of 255 miles, we roll into the equally small village of “Lastgas.”

Like the counterpart on the other side, Lastgas is the “last gas stop” before heading through the rainforest. Another 1500-or-so pop-up village performing basic services for travelers, offering food, fuel, and a campground (the outskirts of town, wherever we can find space) to rest up in. For the same reasons as Gasstop, they have a small freight line that is used to deliver fuel tankers, which does technically connect to Gasstop through the rainforest as well… On an equally “well-maintained” bit of rail.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: high
Road Condition: good
Traffic: low
Police: very Low


Results Here: SR2023 Stage 11 - Google Drive


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

HD-GV Carry All - No Roof Rack
HD-GV Home Unit - No Roof Rack

It’s a relatively slow drive with both of the giant trucks, especially with Kasiya still hauling double trailers. Thankfully, the vehicles designed to drive through a war zone could handle “a few” potholes. Even the couple of full-blown “road craters” didn’t slow either one down.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Robert - No roof rack
Regina/Rainer/Ramona - No roof racks here, either.

Other than having a couple of really good scares when they encountered some rough track, it was a relatively uneventful train ride.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

Walkenhorst UtilXL - No Roof Rack
Sakura Citrine - No Roof Rack

It was slow going, but soon the two cars were out of the rainforest and away from the local wildlife. At least, for making a documentary, the animals made for good footage.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

Ilaris Imbe Sport - No Roof Rack

Everyone thought it’d be the ping-o-matic under the hood that’d give up in this hellish heat. Instead, it was crashing through a full-blown road crater that crumpled the front suspension up like a beer can. Unfucking the suspension took a long time, made to feel even longer when they realized they were being watched by some rather large jaguars.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

Schnell L30 - No Roof Rack

The beat-to-hell luxury car manages to make another long stage look easy.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

IVERA Executive - No Roof Rack
Mayland Ambassador - No Roof Rack

It’s another long, slow drive for both halves of the team. The trip is made a little more nerve wracking courtesy of the large jaguars roaming around.


@Doot

The Knockouts

1325 Facelift - No Roof Rack

Kate breezes through this stage, deftly avoiding holes in the road like she (usually) dodges cops. Octavia, on the other hand, discovered her new “passenger” in camp, a heavy-bodied snake resting up in the roof rack and cargo.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Saguaro T-REE - No Roof Rack
Kontir Cunningham - No Roof Rack

It’s slow progress today. On the plus side, at least you don’t have to worry too much about the local wildlife.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

Franklin HiWay - No Roof Rack
FM VanGo - No Roof Rack

It’s safe to say the old ladies are enjoying the scenic jungle tour.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

Priscilla II - No Roof Rack

Slow but steady wins the race. Or at least, doesn’t wreck the bus.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Bazard E-Series - No Roof Rack

At least the “giant cats” weren’t as scary for the sentient cars, right up until it was pointed out that some of them were big enough to shove around Freddie.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

IP Rugger - No Roof Rack
Sanju Wolverine - No Roof Rack

Sure, it’s called a serpentine belt, but a live serpent makes a poor belt replacement. A snake got caught between a belt and a pulley, broke the belt, got wrapped up in the pulley, and spun around, making both a disastrous mess under the hood of the Rugger, and breaking the cooling fan.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

KKR S2 - No Roof Rack
Roadmaster Voyage - No Roof Rack

It’s relatively trouble free today, other than a big snake landing right smack in the middle of the Roadmaster’s windshield. Attempting to use the windshield wipers to remove the snake worked… But at the cost of burning out the fuse.


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Aether 52H - No Roof Rack
Aether 11/2 - No Roof Rack

Things were going well until a small leak was noticed in the Aether 11/2’s suspension. Remembering what happened the last time when the suspension completely failed, the decision was made to patch it as much as they could. Turns out, a fairly good fix could be made in nearly 3 hours.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Mara Irena - No Roof Rack

The aliens got to look at some wildlife from the safety of their relatively trouble-free Mara, as well as some rather pleasant scenery.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

The second to arrive in camp, the Ursula had some… Unwanted baggage. Wrestling several live tree snakes out of the roof rack was not fun.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Reekayns B210 - No Roof Rack
Mocabey Pioneer - No Roof Rack

The Reekayns was doing well until it hit a pothole, then bounced off of a tree, and finally ended up with a very large cat laying on the hood to get some sleep. The Mocabey had less issues and made it to camp first, getting to watch the fun as people with roof racks turned up with snakes onboard.


@IDK158

Team J3

Tiharris Summer - No Roof Rack
Rhien Willow - No Roof Rack

Changing tires on the Tiharris would have been a routine situation if the jaguars hadn’t decided your tires looked like the perfect thing to play with. It took a surprisingly long time to find where the big cats took the spare tire.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Torrento Providence II - No Roof Rack

The Torrento hits a road crater and pit-maneuvers the Juggernaut into the tree line. After a long while of maneuvering back and forth to get back onto the road, they make it to camp, where the process of removing snakes from the Juggernaut’s cargo area begins.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Dauer 836RS - No Roof Rack

It’s a trouble free trip into camp for these two vehicles… The trouble starts when you park up. On the bed of the Seikatsu is one big snake.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

Warren Warlock - No Roof Rack
Bowie Bearcat - No Roof Rack

A road-crater jolts the Warlock hard enough to shut down the engine, damage the front and rear suspension, and bend a steering tie-rod. Luckily, they crashed close enough to camp to just drag the car with the other car into camp and fix it there.


@Xepy

Team “486”

A whole lot of angry snakes accompanied the two Kaufmanns into camp. Sure, you got fourth place… But you may have taken first place for the amount of snakes dragged in.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

A flat tire on the Baumhauer turned into an ordeal when the decision was made, mid tire change, to extract the unwanted passengers from your vehicle. It didn’t really help, as when they rejoined with the Hinode in camp… Both vehicles had snakes to remove.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

Blue Wonder - No Roof Rack
Faenza Spirito - No Roof Rack

It’s hard to change tires on the Blue Wonder in this heat. Especially considering one team member’s openly admitted dislike of cats. Several large jaguars prowled around while the tires were changed… On the bright side, at least it wasn’t snakes.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

VHT Supermobile - No Roof Rack
Contra UTE - No Roof Rack

The heat causes the Contra to overheat. Thankfully, the great hissing steam dragon under the hood keeps all the cats away.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

JMX Linx - No Roof Rack
Avantii Trailduster - No Roof Rack

A trouble-free run in both vehicles, with only the minor downside of collecting a snake on the Trailduster’s hood, where it rested there, enjoying the warmth for most of the trip.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Apparently the snakes really liked the edgy team, because they had snakes everywhere in their cargo. This was made worse by finding out that someone left a window open in the camper, and now there were a fair few snakes in the sleeping area.


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Open cockpit seemed like such a great idea until you found out that driving a car while live snakes fall on you isn’t an easy task. Sure, at first, it was as simple as scooping up the slithering serpent and hurling it overboard. Then it practically started raining snakes. By the time you made it to camp, there were a lot of snakes in the car, on the car, and falling out of the car.


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

Centurion 9000 - No Roof Rack

The four dicks in a truck at least agree, “Dicks in a Truck” is better than “Snakes on a Plane,” and they’d rather have “snakes on a plane” than “Snakes in our Truck.”

4 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 11

Snake...SNAAAKEE

-Boss, are you sure that this is the road?
-Yes.
-Really?
-Yes.
-But…but…
-Do not question guy with map.
-How are you sure we aren’t getting lost?
-We have a map.
-But…its in foreign language…we cant read it
-Its a map, not a book. How hard can it be to follow squiggly lines?
-Uhhhh…very?
-WRONG ANSWER

Another guy attracted their attention

-Question
-Ask then
-We…kinda encountered that road splits in two directions.
-Hmmm, i fail to see the scenario where thats my problem.
-We dont know where to go.

Krta thought little bit and made decision

-You are gonna split and investigate both roads. Then you come back and report. Based on that, we are going to make decision.
-Who is “you”?
-Doesnt really matter in general, but could refer to you as our messenger and this crybaby we already have.
-I was raising valid concern about getting lost.
-WE. HAVE. A. MAP.

He pulled some random map he had avaiable and shown it to them.

-Thats map of Montenegro.
-Wait wtf, why do we have this map? Mrdja stopped going there on vacation many years ago.

True: Even tho im not aware where we went during 2007, i very clearly remember us going to mom’s birthplace in 2008.
So ye pretty long time.

-Will be useful regardless.
But there it is, the map.
-Thats map of road they now take from accomodation to beach.
-Thats stupid, you can clearly see that road goes in two different places or, well, splits in such manner.
-Three issues on that.
First, thats literally on outskirts of city. Right ahead of one standing at intersection is factory. I see no factories here at all. Turn left and you indeed are going to enter the city.
Second, said city has something called “supermarket”. Do these guys know what that could be, much less decide to build multiple of those
Finally, to get to that intersection you go over rails
-This world has rails too

Guy barely kept his cool before continuing

-Yes, but we havent crossed any rails since that other city, while being on this intersection means you literally got over rails and then stopped at intersection
-So?
-Rails would be right behind us…not to mention some parts of crew would extend beyond that, waiting for us in front so THEY can go over rails themself.

For Madrias and whoever else decides to read…
Can you please illustrate that intersection?
Im glad you asked

Finally Krta got correct map, but decided to use Montenegro one by rolling it out and using its new rigidity on chasing out underlings so both paths can be explored.
Resulting silence meant he could relax, with occassional thump or two coming from roof…
Cause of thump would be all too known to ones that attempted to investigate paths, upon realising they have uninvited guests when retrieving some stuff from roof.

-We returned and it seems we found correct path…also this place is full of snakes.
-Hmmm…snakes…those can be useful…
-No, they cant. They are pain in ass to remove from roofs and would just additionally hurt our fighting capability.
-How so?
-Eating our food for no benefit to us…they would likely not be any kind of challenge for our opponents
-Good points, yes. Leave them there for time being, we might deal with that later.

Progress was slow, but secure. Occassional crunch meant some snake would fall from roof or branch and get hurt by next vehicle

-Why we stopped?
-Some big cat is on road

Horn was activated BEEEEEEEEEEEP

-CAN YOU FUCKING MOVE?!?!?

Nehmenweld’s jaguars however arent particularly known for knowledge and understanding of Serbian language.
And there would be some more joining in, showing this one was likely some sort of their boss.
It also becomes clear that its male

-OH GOD, WHY ARE THEY DOING IT HERE??!?
They are slowing us down
-This is their forest, i think they have right to fuck mate anywhere they please
-But couldnt they just…do it somewhere else?
-They chose to do it here
-Lemme get my gun

He got his gun

-Would you like to be interrupted doing that?
-I never did that.
-Ah, so you are jealous of them.
-NO, IM JUST ANGRY WE CANT MOVE FURTHER
-Anger is one of signs of jealousy
-IM NOT JEALOUS
-THEN WATCH AND LEARN
-Im done with all of you

Gun dropped to floor was followed by this guy going elsewhere, eruption of laughter being in vehicles upon hearing it all through CB radio
Others waited patiently for process to be finished


Journey would be unremarkable and they arrived in Lastgas with no issues.
Impatient one met bucket of fuel and overall ridicule by everyone

War between this sizeable bunch of idiots and equally sizeable bunch of snakes had began, such battle being properly rivalled on these forums only by Dyre battle from last year.
Unlike that battle, both sides receive hefty losses in effective personnel, sometimes caused by themselves…
Locals witnessing the epic fight would likely remember how one of Krta’s soldiers took about six others using snake.
He swung around the snake in similar fashion to hammer throw but with snake, knocking unconscious said 6 colleagues, snake itself and himself
Others went in punching contest when introduced to this type of opponent
One guy threw snake from roof of his vehicle, only for it to land on another roof, becoming another man’s problem.

Fight was long and hard, but about 90% of snakes are now not in roof racks
Few of them actively engaged in fight survived, including one knocked out by being swung around, and decided to leave the battlefield.
They now faced locals, who would afterwards also fight Krta’s people…something about “you endanger children and elderly with snakes you brought” or “my GF shat herself in fear upon seeing snake nearby” was mostly mentioned as reason
Another 10% were just chilling during fight and was decided to not fight them anymore, due to injuries sustained during fight with others.

Rest of time was spent filling up (again), occassional napping and some drinking.


-Do we do it?
-We got no choice.
We will activate them all so we can continue this gruesome journey.

And so, they would attempt to reawaken AntiRenata and her underlings, knowing full-well this might mean their cover is blown and Team Mravolinski-Chitco may realise they would have certain company along for a ride
Andrea Chitco and AntiRenata are based off same RL person: you could even note that Andrea is technically advanced version of AntiRenata, but taking way different lifepath. As such, they can read each other’s minds…and feel presence of the other.

Toto’s Africa

This ends up as rather tough stage for Loojoe and Siviko, as they face both high temperature and high humidity. Chicota and Amanda were given control over cars and, with that, this stage started.

-We will do something about her…eventually.
-That would be nice to hear, as she clearly still suffers from that fight.
-Not the time for that however…not yet.
-Are you sure?
-Well…deny me. Im pretty sure we can analyse other claws and compare that to front ones to find what’s wrong. Then we can get blood sample and use that to potentially repair her
-Sounds like pretty good plan
-And i guess we might need to bring her with us, then.
-Oh yes, i would love that.

Another member chimed in

-I agree there, she is lovely
-I knew you would say that.
-Eh…i guess so.
-That has it settled then.
Andrea, how is your wound recovering?
-Hmm, thats not that important…but thanks for asking.
I can feel it slowly heals. Besides, we have fair bit of options ready in my case.
-Such as?

Andrea giggled

-Why would you want to know?
-Maybe i can help.
-Maybe you can. Either way, its not urgent and…well, it can wait.


-This sounds quite relaxing. Its in foreign language, but…well…sounds nice and relaxing.
-Its Toto’s Africa.
Language is English. We are communicating with other teams using it. Its global language.
-That seems like we might need to sharpen up our language skills.
-Or use some kind of translator to and from Serbian.
-Could work, but i guess it would be nicer to actually know the language.
-Dont be too ambitious. Every day you wake up and live might as well be seen as miracle. You are old, after all.
-Yes and this might be my first and last Shitbox Rally. It’s great fun, but i guess that Siviko and i might get something and go on journey of our own.
I also noticed you aren’t as snarky as usual.
Is it bcos of fight with Kasiya?
-I dont see reason for that.
-He may happen to be first genuine opponent you faced.
-I didnt striked with full force
-Neither did he.
-I once tanked hit by M80 Wasp. It knocked me away by fair amount, but i was fine.
-I have no idea what you are talking about.
-I heard thats how its called.

Actually, according to Wikipedia, its probably fine to say Zolja, which is Serb term for “wasp”.
Apparently, this is anti-tank rocket-propelled grenade launcher capable of punching through 300mm of rolled homogenous armor.
I might poke some proud American by stating that M80 can expell its projectile tad bit faster than their M72 LAW and therefore would have just a tiny bit more range. Both Wikipedia pages do refer to other as similar weapon.


Ofc, to use this feat as completely representative of Amanda’s durability would be ignoring fact she was physically moved by projectile over distance noone cared to specifically mention.
And with that, we shall continue

-He could be stronger than you and easily do so
-I could lift about 1330-ish kg over my head.
-And he weighs a lot himself.
-500 kg. So to overcome me in my fighting mode, he would need to be able to do so with 3 times his own mass.
Actually i would give him that one, he did felt sufficiently strong.
-He was able to deal with your attacks quite efficiently too.
-Im more agile, but he aint slow either. Also seems he might…have better fighting strategy?
-Perhaps

Seeing that Amanda is used to receive attacks that cant hurt her, call yourself surprized that Kasiya, who has picked up some fencing himself, would be smarter about it.
I guess that some sword fight could be interesting, but…i guess Kasiya’s skill and experience would prevail in that instance as well

-Either way, i find that challenging him to an actual fight would be bad idea.
-Im glad to see that you dont perceive yourself as being the best thing ever introduced to some fighting anymore.
-Thats what you like to think.
But yes, i feel that kind of male would be good partner. Imagine the strength and physical prowess his children may have…hell, he is kinda like our older Aydar in that regard.
-I wouldnt like to be in place of his partner. She might get squashed or…well, destroyed in another fashion.
Child birth could be death of her.
-As it almost was for mother of younger Aydar.

Just like his son and ancestor (dogs that participated last year) he can shoot urine under high pressure. Same applied to child-making juice, which meant he could reproduce with much smaller partner by directing the stream in target.
This resulted in younger Aydar.
Granted, directly after his birth, he would be considered a puppy by technicality of just being born.
Nevermind the fact he was both stronger than Amanda and as heavy as her (and Loojoe) at that point. His mom needed lot of reconstructive surgery after his birth and apparently lived.

-This was interesting conversation.
-What are you going to do if Siviko and this new kitty hook up together?
Would you abandon the plan of travelling around?
-Im looking forward to it, but, i see no issue in them being able to travel along. Im unlikely to oppose having third member in our travels. Or fourth. Or fifth.
-Are you sure you would be able to handle kittens?
-I would be their granpa. Granpas are never, atleast to my knowledge, ones to utilise strictness and force.
They are going to pamper the child and watch over children when parents need some me-time.

My grandparents and aunt that also happens to be grandparent to some kids would indeed follow behaviour described above.

-Its left to her, then, if she would even want to join. Might grow too fond of having stable place to sleep and guaranteed food and water.
-Thats unlikely to be problem either way you look at it, but seems you are correct there.
We will see


Camp once again offered pretty basic experience and some story or two about some weird group fighting snakes they gathered in forest.
Someone again got bucketload of fuel to face, which dies seem like very weird thing to happen in two different towns.
Ok, this town is about as populous as village from which im typing this, but still.
Chicota and Amanda had connected power and went around camp to help with snakes and their safe yeetage back in forest, while remaining team had grouped into human-based and non-human-based subgroups: Pi, Andrea and Mat in former and Siviko, Loojoe and new member in later
These had occupied one vehicle each, hung out and went to sleep.

Interestingly, snake yeeters would catch on theme upon their arrival and Chicota joins non-humans being completely robot.
Amanda is in other group, courtesy of partially being based on human (technically she is like VerBanka’s duplicate but with nanomachines).
They too went to sleep soon, prepping for new day and stage…

2 Likes

Stage 12:

Lastgas to Seacrest Overlook


Temp. @ mid-day: 29°C

Night-time Low: 22°C

Weather: Today, humidity is still high, but less so than yesterday. Winds pick up a bit, moving the thunderous clouds of yesterday elsewhere. Thus, today is mostly dry and sunny with some cloud cover.


Camp Challenge: “Wind in Your Hair” (Did anyone bring a convertible?)


As we resume our voyage northward on the Jungle Highway, we leave the little village of Lastgas in our rear view mirrors and head toward the second-to-last town on our little trip.

That town is Seacrest Overlook, a healthy 500,000 people strong, with another example of “build up, not out” design, though with a much safer material choice than Moonshadow Village had used. Stone and concrete buildings create a skyline we’re able to see from several miles away… Thanks to this stage being mostly flat with a little bit of a downhill trend to it.

We’re pretty much stuck on the highway at 55 MPH / 90 km/h because of all the police cars. Traffic is light in both directions, other than the occasional spot where someone was pulled over and all the locals brought the road to a crawl so they could stare.

On the way into town, we’re all forced to wait for a freight train to cross the road, rumbling its way into the freight depot with an early diesel engine hauling a not-exactly-small train behind it.

As we get to the campground, it’s obvious that we were expected. First, the locals made an unloading platform for a certain team’s unusual means of transportation. Second, they also made a primitive wooden parking platform for another team’s incredibly heavy vehicles so they wouldn’t dig holes getting going in the morning. Third, a few of those locals want to talk to the group of people that have driven their way from the “cold south” all the way up here. Luckily, this expectation also means they thought enough to at least get the outdoor bathroom unlocked and functioning, so no bucket toilets tonight, we have proper flush toilets to use.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: very high
Road Condition: good
Traffic: high
Police: very high


Stage Results Here: SR2023 Stage 12 - Google Drive


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Between Takaraya getting a warning for his speed, and Kasiya having trailer trouble causing significant delays, the Shift Happens crew are the last ones to arrive.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

15 minutes are lost to a signal set at danger. It turns out that you caught up to one of the many freight trains on this route and had to wait until it cleared the section.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

Convertible - Walkenhorst UtilXL FireRescue

The Walkenhorst gets stopped with a warning for speeding. The Citrine actually gets a ticket.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

The engine got a nice long break to cool down after a tire exploded and tore up the front left fender. Between the damage done to the fender, the braking system, and then making sure it hadn’t actually managed to do any structural damage, it was a very long stop.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

The police stop (a warning for speeding) brought to light the electrical gremlins that the Schnell has. Nearly 5 hours were lost in trying to get the engine to restart.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

The Mayland breezed ahead to the end of the stage with no troubles, while the IVERA was stalled by people being very curious about the idea of a car you could camp in.


@Doot

The Knockouts

Kate gets tackled by another Dyre in uniform after a successful PIT maneuver sends her car crashing off the side of the road and into a ditch. It appears that someone has been informing the highway patrol crews that she’s a bit of an escape artist, so now they’re no longer taking chances.

Octavia, on the other hand, has a leisurely drive to the new camp for the night.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

The Saguaro bursts a tire and savagely slams into the rear corner of the Kontir, spinning it out and causing cargo to go everywhere. It’s an extensive cleanup effort followed by a few hours putting a spare tire on the Saguaro… After fixing the mess that hitting the Kontir made of the fender so it wouldn’t cut a line into the brand new tire.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

The VanGo loses a lower radiator hose and overheats. It takes a while to fix it, and even longer to find enough clean water to fill the radiator up.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

The highly decorated party bus rumbles onward with no troubles or problems.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Like the other bus, there’s no issues today.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

It’s slower progress today because the Rugger’s cooling fan is, well, still quite badly broken. Rather than risk burning up the engine, the crew holds a more reasonable speed. Marie isn’t particularly happy that if the Rugger overheats, she may have to tow it.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

Convertible - KKR S2

Perhaps having the wind in your hair is the reason you got a speeding ticket? The rental minivan is, so far, in reasonable condition enough that it’s possible you won’t get fined for returning it like this. But will it stay that way?


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Other than getting pulled over for speeding (with the 52 H getting a ticket, the 11/2 just a warning), the two Aethers prove that perhaps camouflage is an advantage out here.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Between a speeding ticket and another burst tire, it’s a long, long stop trying to get back on the road.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

The plan of “Just floor it everywhere” seems to be working so far.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Another team proves that speed can be a benefit, if you’re willing to risk the odds of spending some time in jail. With no breakdowns, the Spy Kids are safe… This time.


@IDK158

Team J3

Other than a warning for speeding, team J3 has no troubles on this stage.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

The Nehmenweld Highway Patrol had to admit, this was a first for them. It wasn’t speeding that got the Torrento pulled over. It was the rolling burnouts that they were doing. After a warning not to do it again, they were back on the road again.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Just a warning for speeding for the crew in the Dauer today.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

The Warren Warlock gets pulled over for speeding again.


@Xepy

Team “486”

No troubles for team 486 here today.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

A warning for speeding reminds the crew in the Hinode ambulance that they stand out like sore thumbs out here.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

The Blue Wonder gets pulled over and given a ticket for speeding. The Faenza escapes justice once again.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

Just a warning for speeding in the VHT Supermobile today.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

The JMX Linx gets a warning for speeding, and then spends a fair bit of time on the side of the road changing out a tire that was about ready to burst for a safe spare. Part of the delay was waiting for their ears to stop ringing after the tire blew up in the trunk.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

The RV had some significant delays right from the start. Who knew that all of the “rescued” snakes from yesterday would decide to take refuge under the hood of the RV? Likewise, who knew that when it was started, the snakes would snap all of the belts, break the fan, and knock the radiator hoses off. It took a long time to get the repairs done, but once they were finished, the run was relatively trouble free. The only issue was for the MCMOTD, where they got a warning for speeding.


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Convertible - Haapala Streetcruiser

Another team that was pulled over and given a warning today for speeding. Is it a coincidence that all three convertibles got pulled over today? Probably.


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

Other than a speeding ticket, it’s a trouble-free run for the Centurion today.

4 Likes

Stage 13

Seacrest Overlook to Shippingburg


Temp. @ mid-day: 28°C
Night-time Low: 19°C
Weather: It remains dry, with moderate cloud cover, but stronger, gusty winds. By the evening, the clouds clear up, granting the opportunity to experience a spectacular sunset by the coastline.


Camp Challenge: “Most attractive car” (Most stops by police. In the event of a tie, the highest time wins.)


We leave Seacrest Overlook at dawn and head onto an old, familiar friend. It’s Highway Route 1, that same highway we ended up on in stage 2.

Yes, we could have just taken the highway up here, but that would have been boring.

Plus, if today’s drive was a common sight, we’d have been begging for dirt.

Signs were posted, of course, for 55 MPH / 90 km/h. The highway was packed with traffic, however, averaging 40 MPH / 65 km/h. Anyone planning on a shoulder pass or to do a little weaving would have a real bad time with the police, too, as it seemed every 30 cars or so had a patrol unit nearby.

The cause for the traffic snarl? An overturned dump truck had spilled its contents into the main driving lane, about 20 miles from the Shippingburg exit. Between people staring at the turtled truck on its side, the huge pile of dirt and rocks in the road, and the traffic laws preventing passing on the right, people were moving slowly.

Luckily, as we made it into the city of Shippingburg, we were greeted with perhaps the most modern-looking city yet. Nearing a million people in town, with a fair mix of sprawl and tall showing that they built UP first, and OUT when they couldn’t go up any more, a cargo port that gave the city its name with one hell of a freight rail connection, and a beautiful coastal beach looking out into the “Great Water,” the local name for the ocean, it was a fair sight to see.

Of course, our goal was the beach.

When it was discovered that the circular road around the city had the highest speeds, what had been a peaceful country drive erupted into snarling and roaring engines, screaming tires, and vehicles hurtling “around the ring” like maniacs were behind the wheel. Any lost time from the highway was made up by turning the ring around the city into a demented right-turn-only NASCAR race to the beach, albeit with some restraint for not annoying the city police.

That restraint… Yeah, it went out the window the moment tires touched the sand and it was apparent no one was in harm’s way as it turned into a 300 meter sprint in vehicles on sand.

Thankfully, most teams backed off as we saw the locals had put up a finish line for us (courtesy of our dropped map a while back) and had prepared a mild beach party.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: N/A
Road Condition: N/A
Traffic: none
Police: none


Results Here: SR2023 Stage 13 - Google Drive


Camp Challenge Winner:

Mikonp7 (Haapala Streetcruiser) - 8 stops and 158 hours


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Takaraya earns himself a warning once they get into Shippingburg, not realizing that “right turn on red” is a uniquely American thing, and doesn’t apply to Nehmenweld. Kasiya is very-much-annoyed that he’s spent most of the rally dragging both trailers.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Remember the derailment all the way back in stage 5?
Turns out that it did more harm than initially expected, as the left outer tie rod decides to submit its 25 second notice. Luckily, innate stability due to suspension geometry and wheel flanges prevented another derailment, but crawling along at about 15mph to the next suitable location and THEN spending quite a while jerri-rigging a repair for that tie rod surely killed the mood.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

The Walkenhorst gets a warning for driving a bit too fast on city streets. The Sakura, on the other hand, earns a full ticket for “failing to stop for a stop sign.” A “California Roll” does not fly with the cops here.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

Despite the engine sounding like a sack of hammers in a tumble-dryer, the Imbe makes it along with the three remaining crew members.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

After being pulled over and given a warning for “driving like an idiot” after driving the wrong way on a one-way street, the clapped out Schnell decides now is the perfect opportunity to cost a bunch of time when the rear shock absorbers break. The car never has to stop, but every bump sends the luxury car bouncing up and down like an eight-year-old with a pogo stick in a bouncy castle.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

It’s a problem free run to the end of this stage, although the mood is not great courtesy of not finding the thing you were looking for on this trip.


@Doot

The Knockouts

Kate makes it to the beach at full speed, sirens wailing behind her for most of the trip. Octavia is stuck at the side of the road for nearly four total hours, spending 30 minutes each time to let the badly-overheated engine cool off. An inspection in camp confirms that the water pump failed.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

For once, the truck with the giant camper makes it to the finish line with the camper still in one piece. The Saguaro also makes it, kicking sand into the passenger compartment of the Kontir with a lazy victory donut for making it to the finish.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

When the VanGo’s engine practically exploded on the highway, the only option was to tow it into town and let a local wizard fix it. Unfortunately, said local wizard relied heavily on ritual magic, and so what could have been a 6 hour fix turned into nearly an 18 hour repair session.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

The drive is a smooth and simple one, but the beach party is likely to be outright wild.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Like the other bus, there’s really no trouble on this part of the trip.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

After making it to the finish line, it’s very clear that Marie wants to get properly drunk. It’s also clear we plan to stay here for an extra day, as the Shift Happens crew has set up an ocean-facing gun range. Whether that means Marie gets a day of drinking or not is, well, still up to Andreas, Janne, and Arne.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

The KKR ends up causing a fairly annoying delay after doing a little bit of drifting in the city. After beaching the car on a guard rail, they wait for a tow truck to extract their car from the rail, and take a ticket from the local police for “unlawful and aggressive use of a motor carriage.”


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

The rather unique Aether Hydropneumatic Suspension system has caused trouble again. The patch done in Stage 11 held up wonderfully - The line blew out a foot further away and dropped the 11/2 onto its frame on the road.

Determined not to miss the festivities, Ze’ev and Storm decided to put blocks in the suspension to allow them to tow it with the 52 H into camp, where it was fixed several very long hours later and “driven” a foot to stop the clock.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Ticket? Yep, the disguised aliens couldn’t talk their way out of this one after finding out that no country allows a left turn on red.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

It’s a trouble-free run to the finish for the fast-moving crossover.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

The Mocabey is the first to make it into camp. The Reekayns, on the other hand, failed to make a corner properly and got hung up on a guard rail. After the crew bailed out and went in separate directions to make capture more difficult, the Shippingburg Police Department sent out a full force of “retrieval teams.” The crew of the Reekayns, now properly bruised from being hunted down by trained Dyre and angry policemen, end up in jail for the next 12 hours. Convincing them afterward to release your car from the impound lot takes another 6 hours of waiting in line.


@IDK158

Team J3

The Tiharris gets pulled over and given a warning for driving on the sidewalk. Otherwise, nothing much happens here for Team J3.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

“We do not understand this “drifting,” but please stop doing it. It irritates the Dyre, it makes them angry,” the officer said during the warning he gave to the driver of the Torrento. In the back of his patrol truck, visible through the thick-barred cage where a truck bed should go, was an 11 foot tall werewolf wearing body armor, indeed looking quite irritated at the tire smoke.

Once they got into camp, the Torrento was used to create a sandstorm by doing some donuts on the beach. The Juggernaut almost got stuck until it was driven onto one of the many platforms set out to keep the heavier vehicles from sinking into the sand overnight.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Other than a casual warning for speeding for the Dauer, it’s a trouble free run. Somehow, even the wide Seikatsu has no major issues getting to the beach. It’s parked up on a platform to avoid it sinking in the sand.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

The Warren Warlock earns another ticket, this time courtesy of taking a “shortcut” through a gas station to avoid a red light. They counted it as running the red light, unfortunately.


@Xepy

Team “486”

Luck holds out for the two Kaufmanns as they rocket through the city and avoid the police.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

How long does it take to fix a broken drive axle? About 12 hours, about half of which was spent getting the vehicle to a suitable wizard in the first place.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

The Faenza develops a misfire and gets caught. The Blue Wonder has to go quite some distance off of the intended path to retrieve the car before the police have it impounded, and after loading the little yellow lump of cheese on the back, ends up getting a ticket after several bumps cause the headlights to blind the driver of a police car.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

The VHT Supermobile gets pulled over and given a warning, this time for a particularly mundane reason: It has a brake light burned out.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

The Linx gets a warning after hopping the curb and squealing tires on the way into the gas station.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

“Get this ridiculous thing out of my sight.” The MCMOTD got a warning for “disturbing the peace.”


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Another crazy drifting team that found out that guard rails bite and the towing services here are fucking slow. Also a team that found out that crashing your car typically results in getting at least a warning from the police if they suspect you were doing something “stupid.”


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

The four dicks in a truck quickly found out that “I got shoved through the light by my trailer” doesn’t fly around here. A red-light ticket later, they make it to the beach, where they park up on one of the platforms to keep their rig from sinking.

5 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 12

@Madrias’s Kasiya was mentioned doing something in second part of post.
Interaction was checked and approved by Madrias

PIT and Bang

Morning in Gasstop was rather regular affair, up until it was time for Chicota to make breakfast

-We have breakfast?
-That depends on whether or not you make it.
-Oh cmon, am i really obliged to make it now?
-Yes, your cooking skills are noted as pretty good
-I didn’t poison anyone if you are refering to that, but thats hardly enough for “pretty good”.

Loojoe pushed Siviko aside

-How about we scavenge some meal from around camp?
-Like in good old days?
-Yes
-Wouldnt that seem weird?
Actually, now that i thought about it, seems like plan.
And we might even encounter someone that left fair bit of meat on bone.
-Also faster than this argument can be solved

And so, our expert dumpster divers now decided to put skills to good use, but preferably intercept food before it reaches trash can.
On subject of lack on suitable language to communicate, well, they would try to pick out only stuff that VERY obviously isnt useful to others.
Will get to that later with how they did and what were results


Now we turn attention to Amanda that took stroll around camp.

-Lemme retrieve the cable
-Ok

Generator car was visited and other end of cable retrieved.

-(thinking) I could take look around camp, i guess. Not much to do otherwise.

This is interesting bunch in one place for sure.
So many teams and yet our team knows of them so little, most if not all known ones having experience participating in previous SR.
There were various interesting members along the way of both known and unknown variety.
Several times, her road intercepted two older members of our team and sometimes she would be close enough to hear certain argument still ongoing…

-How about Andrea cooking, then?
-No way, she might not know how to cook.
-“Might” was unneeded
-My point exactly
-Amanda?
-She is over there, being amused by Marie’s desire to do less driving and more drinking beer.
-I can hear you…and answer is that im not gonna cook for anyone
-That is also out, then
-Mat?
-Not feeling confident in trying to make sufficient breakfast in foreign environment using unknown ingredients for much more people im used to.

He and Chicota look at each other
This lasted for some time

-Will get on it


-I knew they would not progress much further here.
-Ye…

Original plan of getting food scraps gave rather limited result, but another food source had revealed itself…by trying to attack them.

-Seems that snakes had hidden in some other cars.
-Yes, i also needed to jump away.
This gives me great idea tho…those too are some sort of meat
-That’s certainly one very interesting idea…im in.

Insert the part where both of them try to bring snake down then succeed when some proper rocks were found.
Siviko was tasked to get back and get some knife.
Dealing with few more that showed interest in situation did meant they had most of their breakfast made of snakes.

-What the fuck?!?
-One of these attacked us, prob intending to eat us. We decided we prefer other way around.
-Rather crazy
-And you lot still havent made breakfast on your own.
THATS rather crazy if im being honest.
-That’s bcos he argued and that led us back to him.
-Let’s just drop that subject altogether
-Ok

She was rather reluctant on this weird food brought, but after seeing these two are going at it, she joined on the fun.
And afterwards, its all usual affair of packing up and hitting the road.

PIT i kamp

On the road it was business as usual with obligatory fuel top-up for Saguaro.
Andrea was driving the Kontir and made sure to keep some distance from car in front, which in most cases was Saguaro.
That was ofc before that fateful decision to pass it at one point, going as hard as she could
Suddenly, front left tire of Saguaro blew out in dramatic fashion and as such unwanted PIT-ing the Kontir happened

-What the fuck…oh come on
-Wasn’t my fault
-Yes, but didn’t we already had fair bit of trouble with tires? I thought that was solved.
-Seems not and damn, this was violent

Stuff scattered around due to them exiting the Kontir seemed to agree on this last part.

-Ah yes, that too is usual problem by now.
-Better get busy collecting it all, then.

Team split in two parts where Chicota and Amanda sorted out that tire and rest picked up belongings from road.

-Hmm, seems that went smoothly.
-True…oh wait, look at this
-Its…its rubbing the tire
-Yes, so we need to sort that out as well before going any further
-Wonderful

Afterwards, Chicota was useful in weight reduction on beer bottles, discipline in which he holds PhD in for quite a long time.
Amanda was similarly useful, but no beer was slain by her hand
Rest cleaned up the mess

-Oh good, train crossing
-Yes. I wonder if we could try to squeak past?
-Not smart idea: some proper train could delete entire car out of existance. Only two members of team could reasonably survive such crash.
-Eh, as far as we know, that could be Valentin and his crew
-Which likely would be rather hard hit indeed. Besides, he would NOT be amused by this move likely taking out both our and his team.

Due to deciding to not play smart-asses, team therefore was able to see this indeed was not Valentin’s “train”, but real deal.
As is usually the case (which is happily situation yours truly doesnt encounter often) wait for train to pass was in no way nice or exciting, not helped by it being on longer side.



Camp happened to be rather nicely equipped, as locals expected and embraced the group.
There was no doubt in that, also due to presence of lot of interested locals, desiring to know more about this unusual group coming.

-Hello, we are interested in meeting you
-That was really hard to tell
-Wait, really?
-I was being sarcastic
-Ah.

Some guy had decided this is good time to do something

-John, not again.
-I want to show them how good of a cook i am.
-Ok?
-John Doe, probably best cook in my district

Andrea had…certain thoughts and decided to ask for whatever John cooks.
As he did prepared something for this exact reason, she would be soon holding something akin to glass or a cup with liquid inside.
Chicota was not convinced, but she was sure this was to her expectations.
She took a sip

-So, do you like it?
-Well, im not picky in this regard. It is good juice.
-Juice?

Chicota was allowed to take over and take sip himself.

-Indeed. This seems to be apple juice.
-It is
-It is. Im serving it in my restaurant.
-Oh, you have restaurant?
-Yes, where im serving apple juice.

Andrea decided to go for question that might intrigue more than her

-Is there anything else served in there?
-No. Apple juice is sufficient.
-Its a drink. For something to be considered restaurant, it should have some choice of different food. And, well, drinks, but i guess food is kinda essential.
-Food like white rice?
-Yes, that is considered food. Do you know how to prepare that?
-No, but my sister Jane does.
-Great! She works at your restaurant?

John’s expression turned sour

-She has her own. Admitedly, she was always better cook than me.
Only way she might be willing to give me recipe is for me to defeat her in cooking battle, where we prepare food and three independent people judge them.
That might allow me to take over her restaurant as well, which would be nice, but…yeah, one can dream.

Andrea was rather amused by this entire conversation

-There might be someone out there that could defeat her. But, i feel it will probably need to wait for right person to show up.
-I guess so
-Juice was nice tho
-Thanks


John would soon get lost in the crowd going towards rail-capable quartet, probably trying to impress them as well with his apple juice- making skill.
I doubt he would be distinctive by any other measure, tho
Another individual also got straight to the point

-How does it work?
-Fundamentally, its no different from what we saw roaming around streets here.
Its just that, with tad bit more advanced technology, whole thing ends up being more refined, efficient, capable and fair bit of other “more” things.
-This is newest and greatest of your technology?
-No, there are more advanced designs. Blue big thing is younger design of the two here and is 28y old.
38y old basic design, seeing that model was produced by decade before our particular car stepped into scene.
Newest allowed by event regulations would still be like 13y old vehicles.
-Why so?

Chicota thought about it

-Well, “Shitbox Rally” as this event is known, is basically rally done in what we refer to as shitboxes.
These vehicles are at best indeed going to be rather good choice for a daily, car you can indeed rely on working well with not much of an issue.
However, they are more often than not in not so great of condition due to lack of care, rough use or some other factors.
Their reputation could also play important role in that: vehicle that is widely known for engine that might break down or has tendency to rust is not going to be as desirable as something that does well in both regards.
-All of these can be described as such?
-Not really tbh. Hosts, composed of that rail-going group and those two 10-wheelers with trailers, do not seem to play by said rules here.
Admitedly i personally prefered last year’s run in that regard due to fact hosts too used shitbox in that.
-Salty much?

Chicota chuckled

-Although i might have prefered if everyone is in shitboxes personally, i cant deny they likely had very good reasons for doing so.
-I swung by them earlier and was impressed by what im told.
Tall blonde guy said something along lines of “I decided to engineer steam-powered car and im now testing it.”
We also took a peek where it was possible to do so: amount of stuff they brought is immense.
Goes for both sides of host team btw

Silence

-Based on information i got and my own observations, this makes sense.
I guess they could have went cheaper route, but at same time i feel that they wanted to be ABSOLUTELY SURE they can get to every camp in timely manner and set it up.
Some lessons were taken from said last year and they are leaving no chances to some issues group had.

His attention now came to one of nearby lights set by them for making sure camp is lit

-Oh well, i see this light is not as bright as i think it should be.
-It emits no light at all

Kid had started crying

-I…i accidentally tripped over some long thing on ground…light had gone not lighting stuff
-Long black thing seems kinda similar to this?

Chicota had shown power cable that provides electricity

-Much less thick
-Ye, that must have been power supply cable for that light.
Lemme make a call and please be quiet

Therefore CB radio got used

-Chicota here from Mravolinski-Chitco team. Seems that one of nearby lights for camp got turned off.
I suspect that might be due to some local kid tripping on it and unplugging it as result.

Kasiya responded

“I see it. I’ll be there as quickly as I can to fix the lighting problem. It’s either an unplugged cable or a burned out light bulb.”

-Kid admited to tripping over it. Its one of locals with whom we are talking here.

As this seemed like rather reasonable scenario, other side would gently inform whoever was avaiable for hard job of walking over and plugging it back or do so personally.
Either way, prob scariest member of rally (if absolutely shit-scared kid is to be asked) was on the way, indeed confirming cable seems like something tripped over and getting unplugged as result.
Cable plugged back in, he returned to his team vehicles.

-Well, there is that sorted out
-He is sooo big
-To my knowledge, biggest and heaviest rally participant.
-Pretty strong too. Speaking from experience

Locals were rather shocked on this “experience” part.
Noone dared to ask for clarification.

-Would it be possible to get a car that is newer than 13y old, but could still be reasonably fit for this rally?
-That might be quite a stretch. Its probably not fully impossible, but very very hard.
Vehicle would need to be insanely cheap to qualify, as rules said that it must be reasonably purchased for 2000 US dollars or equivalent in local currency.
For reference, closest new cars that existed to that mark were some rather old designs, but still sold due to their affordability and familiarity.
Granted, both stopped production in 2008, but would likely be kind of vehicles that would qualify in this “new car for very very small amount of money” role.
Those were rather affordable vehicles without much equipment or particularly notable size. Engines would at best be 1300cc inline 4s, but 1100cc ones were ones surviving to the end.

Local was taken aback at such detailed description

-You mentioned they were old designs. Just how old?
-Beggining of 70s and beggining of 80s, respectively
-Huh? What 70s and 80s are you talking about?
-Oh, allow me to correct myself. 1970s and 1980s, not sure on exact year for either.
Either way, we were talking about sub-4000 euros for new car. 2000 dollars would be tad bit weaker in value compared to 2000 euro, but springing up for more expensive cars results in looking at spending about 2 or 3k more than these cheap cars.
Both dollars and euros are currencies of world we came in. They are just used in different parts of it.

Someone else joined on convo

-Were they any good?
-Depends on your criteria for what makes car good. Also on who you decide to ask.
They were both competitive designs back when they were originally introduced, but due to changes that ranged from small to non-existant, they at one point became archaic in eyes of more developed parts of world.
Their sole market as their time was going up was able to appreciate them for what they are and neglect their shortcomings to some extent.
-Nice.

There was also some more small talk, but eventually locals thinned out and camp slowly drifted to sleep…

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Stage 13.2

Shippingburg


Temp. @ mid-day: 27°C

Night-time Low: 19°C

Weather: Dry, with very little, if any, wind and practically zero cloud-cover. The seas are calm and very inviting.


This is less of a stage but more of an extended stay at the beachside. After all, why make a road trip if you cannot enjoy the destination for at least a little while? Not much changes locally, since none of the teams actually moved further than maybe doing some fun donuts in the sand. Assuming they did not get stuck doing them.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: very high
Road Condition: good
Traffic: none
Police: none


Results Here: SR 2023 Stage 13.2 - Google Drive


What? You expected team blurbs? I just told you above that no one traveled any significant distance.

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