The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (FINAL RESULTS)

Yeah and I was running a pirated version of it on a cardboard box on the motorway.

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Is there supposed to be a naming convention, that we should conform to?

yes

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Prologue for Mrdja’s team

Admitedly, a lot of things is still going to be WIP. Car being used is decided only today and we have total of two characters atm that are likely to appear here
Ofc that extends to team name.


Mat Hammeltau has exited the showroom to greet potential customers, ones that announced their arrival about two hours ago.
“So, what can i do to help you?”
“Sell us a car, plain and simple. We had arrived here bcos some ppl we know live nearby, so we want something that isnt expensive.
We would have no use of car afterwards, so you may buy it back, but that means that budget we are willing to use for car would be rather low.”

Mat:“But its in our best interest as sellers to sell for fair amount of money. Besides, cheaping out on car is never a good idea, mainly bcos that might have very expensive consequences.”
“We believe there might be something you are willing to haggle for…something you desperately want gone, bcos only thing it does is fill one parking space on your car park.
We do have knowledge and skills to repair it and arent shying away from something that is obviously used a lot.”
Mat: “In that case…i may have an idea.”

(Still Mat, after checking notification on his phone)

OMG its happening, its really happening"
“What is happening?”
“Trafikjournalen announced they are going to accept entries into 40th edition of 24h clunkers.
Im following them from very beggining and dreaming of entering the event.
Its so much fun.”
“Hmm…what is it about?”
Mat: Well fun. Clunker is term for vehicle that isnt in particularly good condition and with low value.
They are organizing a race around racing track and winner is team that pulls out most laps of said track.
This is not about pure speed tho, there is lot of contact and breakdowns…some teams dont even manage to last all 24h bcos their car got so broken that it cant be easily repaired.
I guess you are interested?

Klimentol: That seems like fun activity.

You should have looked at how they duked it out on track. And yes, Trafikjournalen personnel also participates but they are far from being competitive.
There is place for some weirdos like you too: one of teams in previous run was Shift Happens, blessed with unusual appearance.

Klimentols surprized reaction prompted Mat to ask

You know them?

Unfortunately, yes…they were organizers of certain other activity we participated in that involves cheap cars.
Very good chaps, would be glad to meet them again.

Why you said that you “unfortunately” know them, then?

For two reasons:
-One of their members is about as agressive driver as my son, robot i named Chicota.
-They are very big: not uncommon to see over 2.5m in height. This means very big car to fit them all in.
Mix that with allowed contact between vehicles and im not sure how anyone else will handle that.

Mat: Forgot to mention that, for reasons, teams usually dont come in very car they are entering as sole mode of transport.
Only one member - driver- is in the vehicle during race.
Bcos said race lasts for such a long time, drivers are changed from time to time.
Would be reasonable to dedicate 3 or 4 ppl on driving duty.
Rest of team can repair stuff on car or refuel it when car is in pits, depending on whats needed at moment.
That being said, they did entered mid-size Sinistra last time.
And that was indeed driven very agressively from time to time.

Hmm, ye, race seems tempty and we would both lack something better to do and not really be in time crunch.
So, ye, im interested in joining.
Might be appropriate send-off for whatever shitbox we decide to buy here.


So it begins
You already have Klimentol being mentioned, good observers might even guess what vehicle will be used and ofc there is more to come

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(Thank you to @Elizipeazie for collaborating on me with characters. Valentin and Norse are his.)


Team Shift Happens


Drivers:

Rukari Khakrin-Veldrothan

-Race: Aetheriian Tiger Valraadi
-Age: 98 (149)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 9 inches tall (top of his head, 8 feet flat to the top of his horns), 450 pounds of muscle, has a tail as long as he is tall tipped with black, venomous quills, dark gray fur, black stripes, black lion’s mane, black ear-tufts, demon-like rearward-curved horns on his head, orange feline eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger demon.

Appearance by Hero Forge

Notes: Wearing his prescription glasses to correct his farsightedness, doesn’t actually have a proper fire suit or racing helmet, so he’s wearing his old pilot’s jacket and a military helmet.

Kayden John Grayson

-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 69 (103)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 8 inches tall, 415 pounds of muscle, snow white fur and black stripes, blue eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger.

Appearance by Hero Forge

Notes: While Hero Forge does not have anything that resembles a fire suit, I figured leather wouldn’t be the worst choice. Wearing his combat helmet because his head won’t fit in a racing helmet.

Kaylie Lynn Malradi (Formerly Grayson)

-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 69 (103)
-Appearance: 6 feet, 5 inches tall, 175 pounds, athletic, with snow white fur and black stripes, a shiny chrome mechanical left arm with black painted stripes matching her natural pattern, and blue eyes, with the general appearance of a bipedal walking tigress. Wears a titanium ring on her left ring finger. Her left arm is two inches longer than her right.

Appearance by Hero Forge

Notes: Seen wearing her motorcycle gear. It’s not perfect, but it is better than nothing.

Pit Crew:

Jayde Malradi

-Race: Aetheriian Leoni
-Age: 35 (54)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 5 inches tall, 375 pounds, heavy athletic, with dark brown fur, black mane, tail tuft, and ‘beard’, calm green feline eyes, a mechanical left leg starting mid thigh made from blackened boiler steel, brass, and wood accents, with the general appearance of a bipedal walking lion. Has a really nasty looking bite scar on his left shoulder and a rather rough and ragged looking scar from his right cheek to his right temple, crossing his eye but not blinding him. Wears a titanium ring on his left ring finger.

Appearance by Hero Forge

Notes: Seen currently in the process of almost-dropping Kaylie’s malfunctioning laptop. Has no fashion sense because he’s new to Earth styles.

Malavera Caller-of-the-Moons

-Race: Orthrian Khalan (Khalara Five)
-Age: 51 (358)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 11 inches tall (8 feet, 1 inch to the top of his ears), 500 pounds of broad-shouldered, twin-headed muscle, with pure white fur, cold amber eyes, and the general appearance of a two-headed, bipedal werewolf.

Appearance by Hero Forge

Notes: Seen only with one head due to limitations. Holding the BFH that might be used to “fix” their car at some point.

Kivenaal Khakrin-Marinseien

-Race: Light-Aetheriian/Valraadi Hybrid (Post Fall-of-Aetherii)
-Age: 41 (62)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 6 inches tall, 520 pounds of muscle, with two tails as long as he is tall, tipped with black, non-venomous quills, black fur, dark red stripes, black lion’s mane, no ear-tufts, demon-like rearward-curved horns on his head, vivid purple feline eyes, four arms, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger demon.

Appearance by Hero Forge

Notes: Seen carrying a wrench, water bottle, and a toolbox which he really shouldn’t have left where he put it.

Takaraya Wintermoon

-Race: Khalan (Khalara Five)
-Age: 25 (175)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 10 inches tall (9’0” to the top of his ears), 645 pounds, relatively muscular torso with sturdy-looking mechanical limbs replacing both arms at the shoulders, and both legs slightly below mid-thigh. Limbs are made of titanium, no specialized plating. Golden amber lupine eyes, gray fur resembling the average American Gray Wolf, has a gold ring on his left ring finger. General appearance of a bipedal, cybernetically-enhanced werewolf.

Appearance by Hero Forge

Notes: Seen moments after having stepped backwards, midway through tripping over a toolbox someone left in the way. Not ordinarily clumsy, but… potentially distracted in the moment.

Valentin Schrant

-Race: Human
-Age: 24
-Appearance: 7 feet, 3 inches tall, 222 pounds of skin and bones, what little muscle mass is heavily biased towards the lower body, almost Vampire-like pale skin, light grey-ish blonde hair going down to his waist, light blue eyes covered in thin rectangular frameless glasses, exposed skin (except face) riddled with abrasive-caused scars, a deeper one running diagonally across his back.

Appearance by Sims 4


Valentin - Cold

Notes: One of Elizipeazie’s characters. As a result, I don’t know much about him in comparison to my own. Also, the left leg of his pants would not be rolled up.

Njordal “Norse” Eikeland

-Race: Human
-Age: 27
-Appearance: 6 feet, 1 inch tall, 174 pounds of somewhat athletic body composition, also biased towards the lower half, otherwise aggressively generic-looking, with short brown hair and brown eyes.

Appearance by Sims 4


Norse - Normal

Notes: One of Elizipeazie’s characters. Likewise, I don’t know much about him.


The Car:

1987 Bricksley Grand Warden

Trim: 9G11 Police Cruiser

Everyone in America has seen them. The iconic police car. Whether it’s in a movie somewhere, or you’re the unlucky one to have the flashing red-and-blue lights behind you, we all know what these black-and-white cars mean.

“Someone is about to have a very bad day.”

This old brute of a barge is propelled by a 400 cubic inch V8, derived from the same block that makes the formidable 427 cubic inch engine. A four speed automatic provides the needed ease-of-use for the average police officer in times of need.

Well… At least, until this one was retired in 2003, when the next generation of cruisers took over.

Shift Happens managed to get their hands on this one a while back and it’s been sitting behind the warehouse for a year or two. Last year, they had to get rid of a troublesome Traville someone bought. This year, they put a little effort into the Grand Warden. Mostly because it just wasn’t right that Kivenaal was using a “perfectly good” car…

… for target practice. Sure, it has some rust, and there’s a PIT-Maneuver-induced dent in the corner of the plastic front bumper, and the paint has faded miserably in the Nevada sun, but it is a car.

Sure, it has battle scars, worn paint, bullet wounds, and dozens of problems, but will this old chariot haul them to victory?

Like everyone else, we’ll just have to wait and see.

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Team Oxracers, Ep. 1: Roll call

A dark haired man in the mid-30s and a brand new, flashy and obviously unused racing suit enters and says with an unmistakable swagger in his tone. “Hello everyone, my name is Corazon de Carrera, and I am a world famous racing driver!”

Another person enters, about the same age and height, but with curly hair and regular, if a bit sloppy, clothing. He glances disapprovingly at the first person and states, slightly irritated. “My name is Michael Egbert, and I actually have a racing driver license.”

A third person enters from the other side, much taller than the other two. He joins them and states eagerly: “I am Lucas Dobberstonehaugh and I want to become a racing driver.”

A fourth person with long flowing dark hair and a dark red mechanic overall lowers herself from a pole from the floor above. She spins around and states. “I am Jane Warlock, and I can build cars for racing drivers, actual and otherwise…” She glances at Michael and Corazon, in that order.

A fifth person sneaks into the room, shorter than the others, and wearing colourful clothing that matches her hair colour. The camera lowers itself slightly to catch her in close to the centre of the picture. “And I am Mary Small, I keep track of all their expenses and team morale… and why did we have to say all that?”

“We always say that at the start… or something like that at least.” Corazon states, almost dismissively.

“But we haven’t done this before, have we?” Michael wonders.

“Not this, but other… stuff… somewhat like this.” Jane is searching for words.

“Alright, so why are we here?” Corazon begins to be impatient. “I want to go for a race!”

“We first would need a car, wouldn’t we?” Mary stated the obvious.

“Then let’s go get one… and how do we do that?”

“As we do all things when we are… others”, Jane explains patiently. “We roll for it. What do we roll for our main car?”

“1d20”, shouts a faint voice from outside the room.

“There!” Jane points to a table with a set of dice and a laptop.

The five make their way to the table. On screen is a list of twenty cars - their potential rides to take part in the Trafikjournalen 24h Clunker Challenge in Sweden. Jane picks up the D20 die from the table and turns around to the others. “Ready?”

“Roll something decent for us… please”, pleads Michael.

drumroll diceroll

“And… a 12. That’s a… 1993 Seongu Kando II”, Jane announces. “As far as I recall, 1993 was their last model year before they were replaced by the ‘egg’ that was the Kando III. That roll is not too bad actually.”

Corazon is immediately aggravated. “A Seongu? Don’t tell me, it’s white, like the kitchen appliances from the Hangseong conglomerate where Seongu belongs to. And yes, don’t ask me how I know that.”

“It is white”, Jane has to admit. Corazon and the rest approach Jane’s laptop where a picture is displayed on screen.

“And you say, it’s not a bad roll? I had hoped for something sporty - like a Montebianco, or a Turból.” Corazon’s anger turned into disappointment.

“Could be worse”, Michael interjects. “Could be a Mara.”

Corazon shudders visibly.

“At least it’s not expensive”, Mary, the treasurer, states relieved.

“Is it easy to drive?” wonders Lucas.

“It is easy to drive”, Michael reassures him, thinking of all the driving lessons he had given Lucas where things had not gone well on first roll. “… since it doesn’t have any power”, he adds through clenched teeth.

“I heard that”, says Jane. “And I am sure I can do something about that. Let’s go get the car! Who wants to join me?”

“Let’s roll for that…”, Michael suggests, not overly excited.

OOC: anyone recognise who I am basing this on? It’s funnier when you know, so I figure I better ask

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Team Slow, The return.
Part 0, The Beginning to the hopeful finale of the event.


Some of you may know this team from Shitbox Rally, but if you don’t, i’ll give you a quick run-down. And yes, nobody’s lives will be jeoparised by us this time. (OOC: Characters of mine now have last names rather than initials)


Drivers
Matt Smith- The main man behind the whole team, He has his fair share of mechanical knowledge on vehicles. There since the beginning of Team Slow, Despite the team name, the cars are not that slow,
He is 21 years old.

Appearance: Matt is 5’9 and has messy brown hair, he wears sunglasses, a t-shirt and an muscular body, more so than average.

Isabella “Izzy” Jackson- Former Schnell engineer, Recent addition to the team, Matt’s girlfriend and a not very good driver in track racing. Despite that, she would take in the opportunity of racing a car around a track for 24 hours. She is 23 years old.

Appearance: Izzy is pale with ginger hair and she is 5’6 and wears some casual attire, she has shoulder-length hair and skinny, but not chubby. Fairly attractive appearance.


Matt goes into the living room as Izzy sits there on the couch and watches TV, and then tells her about the clunkers challenge

Matt: Izzy, I think i may have found a Clunkers race, You’re up for it? I bet you’d like it

Izzy: After, well, a certain set of events. I may not want to go ruin the reputation of the team if i’m there.

Matt: It’s been a long time since that happened, you’ve gotten better and I pretty much have nobody else that would want to join it

Izzy: Sure then, let’s go for it, and hopefully we’d make it to the end.

Izzy walks up to a computer, and then goes and looks at the auction sites for a suitable car for racing. Matt also goes to the computer which Izzy is using and they scroll through various vehicles.

Matt: There’s this sedan for sale, seems to be in good shape, want it?

Izzy: Sure, it’ll work for the challenge, as long as it lasts.

Matt: Wait, the race doesn’t open for a while, so we’d have good choices

Izzy: Well, i’m gonna tell you right now, 1.8 I4 and RWD, Does that feel familliar to you?


Matt sees the listing, the both go to the location of the seller and inspect the vehicle, the car is all clear, and they purchase the car and then go home to apply the clunker spec mods to it, and then they start work on the vehicle, Izzy looks at the spec-sheet and it all matches up. She gets out from under the car and says “I think this works fine, what’d ya think?” Matt then replies “Yeah, it’s suitable for the race”

Surely the car is a turd, but it’ll work, it has a bit of rust on the edge of the side near the skirts, but the brakes and suspension are in good condition. The car in question is an 2001 Schnell N40 1.8S, It’s got air conditioning, 5 speed MT, RWD and a tuned 1.8L NA i4 with tubular manifold, full cat/muffler delete making a whole 132HP.



Our tuned up result (Vehicle subject to change, and this took too long for me to write up)

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TRAFIKJOURNALEN WEB, AUGUST OF 2022


Now, there is no more guessing. This will be what we are going to trash in the 24h clunker event this year. A 1994 Saarland Ambrosia Pilger.


“Wait, 1994?”, some of you say. Yes. By now it may be forgotten by some people, but the first generation Saarland Ambrosia WAS sold as a 1994 model, making this one of the last of the bunch. The second generation arrived as a “1994½” model.

That also means that this is the last iteration of the all-iron inline six with its roots in 1966 (not counting the semi-related 24V DOHC now), the 2.6 litre unit with the fancy “Varitek” manifold. Being a Pilger (wagon) of course means that there is a clutch pack LSD like the wagons always had, and it has a 5 speed manual transmission, which is kind of rare on the 2.6.

Stay tuned for more info about race-prepping of this granny-mobile!

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Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Prologue: Composition and union

Now it all comes together

(Few minutes spent checking car)
Klimentol: Seems we had reached an agreement here.
I might just want to see some documents, preferably original.

Mat: Are you sure?

Klimentol: Why wouldnt i be sure? Besides, you dont want to give impression of hiding something…

Mat: We might be hiding something, but its related to documents not the car.
And its all my fault.

Klimentol: Im not going to really buy car i dont know history of from actual dealership.
It would be expected that you guys would take care of documentation of what you sell.

Mat: Yeah, about that…i hardly think documents decorated by 2y old using crayons would count as being cared for.
That is only fault they have btw.

Klimentol: Only an irresponsible parent would allow for that to happen.

Mat: HEY YOU! COME HERE REAL QUICK, OUR CUSTOMER HAS VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO SAY

Older guy had been called and he came.

Mat: Pls repeat what you said about crayon decorated documents

(Klimentol did so, confused)

Guy: Ah i get it…just so you know Mat, it is fault of both of us.
I feel he failed to inform you about who used said crayons on documents…25y ago.

(He had gone and came back with folder
Klimentol looked and indeed…child drawings)

Thats still on whoever was taking care of both him and documents.

Problem is he wanted to help no matter what
Driving his old man up the wall
Which, yes, would be yours truly.

More details about that here:
TMCC 21 - The average family (RESULTS!) - #55 by MrdjaNikolen

Cant argue why this isnt really something to be proud of but appreciate the honesty.
And tbf i do like your family dynamic.

Mat’s dad: What are you supposed to be?
Klimentol: I doubt you will believe me, but im dog. This isnt a mask of any kind…its me.
Just so happens that im much more intelligent and knowledgable than others.
This does seem perfectly acceptable for us.
Btw, (glances at name tag on uniform) Mat…we will stay in touch and im glad i met you.
I feel there might be chance to meet up again in future.

Mat: I dont know what you are talking about.

Klimentol: Perfect…joking ofc but ye, we will stay in touch.

Car as it used to be back in 1997:

(Its ofc going to be modded to comply with TMCC: already complies mechanically, but is not rusty enough for such old vehicle with untreated steel panels; post will be updated with additional pics to reflect this when i submit)

Truck rescue and what happens in meantime

Car being bought, it was time to go and pick up some ppl from Stockholm airport.
Well…two ppl and one special dog, just like Klimentol.

Aydar: You bought this?
Klimentol: Yes, will serve us well. Thanks to fact these two have Letaran driver licences, we will be clear in front of law too.
Will be not-very-comfortable, but hey, we dont need to borrow Volvo of our hosts for everything we do.
Btw, where is your dad?
Aydar: He opted to go via land by himself.
And i can already sense…trouble.


Older Aydar, that will be refered to as Gromadon from now on, was indeed in some serious issues.
He couldnt understand what ppl were saying around him and passing border wasnt as easy as just lining up with cars.
This wasnt helped by fact only creatures that could understand him would be police dogs, which sadly would not know language of their handlers.
He also brought no documents with him.

Out of fear, everyone allowed him to pass bcos they werent aware of what could happen otherwise.
Not to mention restraining him would be out of their abilities

This all changed when one trucker overestimated handling capabilities of his composition, causing him to leave the road.
It was rather rainy and as such surface was muddy enough to guarantee that truck is going nowhere.
Gromadon naturally got interested to horror of everyone around stuck vehicle. He decided to try to push lightly without results, trying to see which area of truck is sturdy enough to handle the force.
Very quickly, humans saw that this monstruous dog is in fact trying to push composition back to road and not trying to get them as snack.
This was tedious job, even for him but, since he was already there and saw no other method they can use to extract it, he pushed through.
Finally, truck was back on road to everyone’s excitement.

Suddenly, borders werent such a big issue anymore.
He got hungry, but Sweden was in sight.
In fact, his popularity meant he was easily followed now by some ppl, meaning group that was already in Sweden could meet him up on road.

“Have you got anything to eat? Im very hungry.”
“Yes. We havent been looking forward to your popularity but it is what it is. Also might need to see if there is any place we could leave you.
Host might have some ideas.”

Short phone call later, host did had some ideas.
One was at his workplace and other was at their godfather’s business.
Gromadon decided that best option would be switching up between the two.
It was said that they will expect his size and strength would be put to good usage, on which he just sighed and noted that some Serbian-speaker should be present to navigate him through job at hand.


Now with all that are expected being present, some overall enjoyment of scenery was in line.
Quint is technically brother-in-law and cousin to two hosts and uncle to their children. Basically all members of this team were at some point involved to care about said two boys, or in Gromadon’s case, serve as their furry playground.
They thankfully do know and understand Serbian.

Union and preparation for race

Soon becomes clear that all that could be done was done…except for one thing.

Mat: Oh my, that vehicle seems very familiar…it is. That very same Saguaro.
What are you guys doing here, trying to resell it back to us after you (ab)used it?

Klimentol: Not really, we figured it would be cool to modify our car for that 24h event you mentioned to me…also came to pick up our last team member.

Mat:…Meee?
Klimentol: Yes. Having someone familiar with said event would help us to prepare car. Besides, if im not mistaken, you did expressed desire to participate in it.
Mat: Should be noted that car will only have one seat as per rules and there are five of us it seems.
And you dont exactly have another car, not to mention this might not be in working condition after event

Klimentol: I think i may have 6th member in plan that would solve all of these problems. We just need to make some platform so he can carry us and car to race.

***Team***

As was case in SR, team members are arranged by their age
Drivers:

  1. Mat Hammeltau
    27y old, working at Kolondra Selling and Service Center Stockholm
    This is our source of race happening in first place and as such would be highly enthusiastic about it.
    Only member with non-Earth genes (he is Gasmean, but raised and living in Sweden)

  2. Quint Chitco
    Duplicate of Mrdja featured in Shitbox Rally:
    2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen
    Unlike Mrdja, this guy doesnt need glasses. He also led operations in Letara and acquired driver licence there.
    As for being 24 against Mrdja’s 23…birthday has since passed IRL (August 14th) so miscrepancy reflects this.

  3. Omega VerBanka
    Duplicate of VerBanka featured in Shitbox Rally.
    She also led operations in Letara and acquired driver licence there.
    As for being 24 against VerBanka’s 23…birthday has since passed IRL (October 4th) so miscrepancy reflects this.
    Another thing that should be noted is that, unlike originals, these two are in mutual relationship AKA Omega is Quint’s girlfriend.

Mechanics are 4)Klimentol Senior
and
5) Gromadon V/Aydar Junior, both already being featured in SR.
Aydar Junior will be adressed as Aydar, as per nickname of his father
Speaking of which…

Support “vehicle”
6) Gromadon IV/Aydar Senior Mravolinski Ludjoephantom
This fella will be addressed as per his real name Gromadon
Just like his son, he has nickname Aydar that was more often used than Gromadon - actually this is original user of said nickname.
His job is to be support “vehicle”, hauling entry car, all of spares, equipment and…everyone else i listed above.
Yes, he can move under all of this load without much of problem, even though thats going to require solid platform in order to carry everything

Platform will be closed off at bottom, so Gromadon cant scare off teams that arent used to seeing someone of his size, they will just see platform from which car and rest of team descended thats closed off entirely beggining 2m from ground to end at ground level.

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Open for subs, in case someone has missed that. :slight_smile:

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Looking at the car’s overall shape, I reckon you used one of the bodies in the legacy body pack mod (specifically, the A4-esque 4-door body that dates back to the Kee era) - it doesn’t look as good as the body that replaced it, but you did a good job with it nonetheless.

SOME WEEKS BEFORE THE POST ON THE TRAFIKJOURNALEN WEB

The people involved, as usual

(Pictures via This Person Does Not Exist - Random Face Generator)

MATS HANSEN
The Captain slow of the staff. Someone that likes offroading and driving slow seems like the perfect driver on the track, or maybe not. IP enthusiast that never have owned anything else. The best mechanic of the bunch, though.

ERIK CARLÉN
The “old man” of the bunch, but also fastest and the one with the most experience in racing. Mostly an enthusiast of italian cars, which shows in his personal vehicle fleet, even though his first car many moons ago was a 1967 Volvo 144.

FILIP ANDERSSON
The hot blooded youngster that played pinball on the track with the IP Urbana last year. Though he has at least grown a bit too old for ricers at the moment and now drives a fairly stock VF Disco GTi, but is dreaming of a Hinode MID2.

Filip Andersson entered the Trafikjournalen office and threw in some keys.

"Guess what this is!", he said.

"Looks like the keys to a 90s Saarland, how come you’re asking?", Hansen answered. "Some lost keys you found outside, or…?"

"Nah, but I have found the car for 24h of clunkers this year. A 1994 Saarland Ambrosia.", he answered.

"The old or new shape?", Hansen asked curiously.

"The old one. A 2.6."

"Ohhh, the good old cast iron pig from the 60s. Weighs like a small house, drinks fuel like an alcoholic, sings like a horny wolf. Perfect! But it is an automatic, right?"

"Manual."

"Hey, this is actually starting to sound somewhat sane!", Hansen answered.

"Wagon."

"Haha, well, at least a cooler shape on the track", Hansen said. But some extra weight too, oh well."

"Don’t forget that the wagon version actually had a clutch pack LSD as standard!", Carlén was shouting from the other end of the room.

"Haha, you might as well have found a bargain then", Hansen asked. "Was it expensive?"

"Expensive? I took the freaking crapmobile out of grandma’s hands. She simply should not drive anymore! You recall the serious accident involving a military Mercedes Sprinter and a bunch of cyclists earlier this year?", Andersson answered, now fairly upset.

"Vaguely", Carlén answered.

"Well, that was the last time I was riding with her, let’s just say that I recall her cutting off that actual Sprinter earlier that day. Who knows, might have contributed by annoying the driver, or something. We took a different road so I didn’t see that accident happen but I remember how goddamned unsafe her driving was."

The team went outside to look at the beige bargain…

Carlén and Hansen was laughing a bit at the beat up wagon with its mismatched red front bumper, and lots of surface rust everywhere due to scraped off paint.

"The last years she bumped into absolutely everything she saw, I think", Andersson told them. "It has not always been like this. She…and yeah, well, grandpa when he was alive…bought it brand new actually. Can you imagine? They traded in their 1976 Saarland Kardinal for this just because they wanted heated seats! Damn…oh well, I wasn’t even born in 1994, but dad said that thing was mint…"


(Picture of a completely unrelated 1966-77 Saarland Kardinal as a reference)

Hansen opened the door of the battered station wagon which smelled exactly like he had expected.

"Haha, damn, look at this ocean of brown velour! I guess that this was what you thought was luxury if you were old enough to remember WW2 and the year was 1994.", he said, and coughed. The stench of filterless Commerce cigarrettes, mint pastilles, old lady perfume and…well, brown velour, was immense.

"Seems like it has some luxuries that we absolutely won’t need too. Oh well, the leather wrapped steering wheel gives some grip on the track compared to a plastic one I guess. Electric windows, hardly needed. Air conditioning that I doubt will work. Ohhh, an electric sunroof too, does that work?, he said and pressed the button without anything happening. "Haha, absolutely not!"

They kept looking through the car for more bargains. In the glovebox, Carlén found some pretty fresh invoices that almost worried him.

"Look here, they have actually installed a brand new radiator and water pump and overhauled the brakes TOTALLY just months ago. I guess the shop owner got himself a nice vacation this year considering the cost…damn, you simply don’t do that on a 1994 Ambrosia, and it was not like they were actually cheap on the work either…"

Carlén found an invoice that was a little over a year old too.

"This can’t be true…they have installed new shock absorbers and springs up front, and four brand new tyres…of course it was the same shop, and cheap…ehhh no."

Andersson went out and looked on the tyres since he had not reflected over that, and he actually got a chance to laugh.

"HAHAHAH, YEAH AND THEY ARE NAMED LIUZOU FIRESTARTER XXR-402!, he laughed. "I bet they will go up in smoke just fine!"

Meanwhile, Hansen found a tape in the centre console.

"Herb Alpert and the Tijuana brass. Why do old people always have random tapes in their car? Such ones you can’t find for sale anywhere but yet not obscure enough to be interesting."

"Shouldn’t we go for a test drive?", Carlén suggested.


Let’s just say that it was subjected to some hard testing, to the tones of “The lonely bull” by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass blaring from the Saarland premium audio system from 1994…

"OK, transmission grinds on downshift, the voltmeter is a bit unstable, the rear end is as soft as a mushy sponge and the steering is even more vague than it should be on a 1994 Ambrosia, other than that it seems to be kind of…well, mint is the wrong word but at least it has some chances to actually finish", Carlén said.

"Yeah, and don’t pop off the plastic covering on the sills", Andersson answered. "At this moment they probably do a better work of holding the car together than the sills themselves…"

"Damn… A stout inline six. Rear wheel drive. Manual gearbox. LSD. Wagon. You remember when they were everywhere? When you could get goodness like this almost for free?", Hansen was reflecting.

"Yeah, but we never can appreciate nice things when we really have them. You know. Saarland. Old man’s car. Nobody finds them exciting, because, frankly, they are not. I don’t know how they manage to do that", Carlén answered.

To be continued…

(@Elizipeazie and @Madrias might find traces of valuable information for future RPing here)

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It’s one of the vanilla 80s BMW-Esque bodies

I think you used the D-segment-sized version (whose wheelbase is ~2.6m) of the E36/405 body set. It looks a lot sleeker in photos from some angles now after the latest update - that’s why I confused it with the Kee-era A4 body set of similar size.

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The 88_eu_sedan? Wheelbase you’re close enough on, 2.7m.

is it possible to influence the list?

for example if my car has a swapped engine, would that influence it
e.g. “The new engine is a reliable model, lowering the chance of a breakdown”
or “The new engine is heavier than standard, increasing the strain on the front suspension”

Well, I will try to explain this without overcomplicating things then…

To start with, the actual in game reliability stat of the car, that will be affected by having a reliable engine, will ALSO matter. So, you can absolutely minimize the risk of having a breakdown by building a reliable engine.

One could see it like this. If we take one car that has a reputation for being very reliable (we can take a Toyota Hilux) and one that is known to not be as reliable (without wanting to hurt someones feelings, we can take the Maserati Biturbo, even if “italian cars breaking down stereotypes are getting old yadda yadda”). The reliability stat is about the actual reliability while the RNG rolls will affect the condition of different systems the car. So, if your car has a high reliability stat but gets crappy RNG rolls it could be compared to a clapped out Hilux while a car with mediocre reliability stats but great RNG rolls it is closer to a mint Biturbo.

What you can’t affect is the RNG rolls. Even if your engine is reliable it can still be a very worn out example. But let’s say that the car is known to have trouble with the oil pump, if you state that and the car gets a bad roll on the engine related components, I can absolutely have that in mind when deciding which engine components that are bad. That won’t affect the risk for an engine breakdown to either the better or the worse though, it might change what happens for RP reasons and that is all.

But just because the oil pump is bad, it doesn’t guarantee that it is what breaks down in the event of an engine failure either.

1 Like

Team Oxracers, Ep. 2: How have we rolled?

Previous post

“Hello everyone, my name is Corazon de Carrera, and you can rely on me being fast.”

“Hello everyone, I am Michael Egbert, and you can rely on me bringing it home in one piece in a race.”

“Hello, I am Lucas Dobberstonehaugh, and you can rely on me learning something new every time on the track.”

“Hello, I am Jane Warlock, and you can rely on me making everything go fast.”

“Hello, I am Mary Small, and you can rely on me.” Mary has to suppress her laughter.

“That’s it?” Corazon inquires.

“That’s it”, Mary replies deadpan, but with a hint if amusement . “I am a thoroughly reliable person.”

“And now we need to rely on you to get us a good deal for the Kando. Think we should bring a third one of us along - shall we roll for it, guys?” asks Jane.

“Alright.” Corazon shuffles over to the table with the dice, grabs one nonchalantly and rolls. “Three.”

Next is Michael’s turn. “Five.”

And then Lucas. He takes a second to process the result. “I rolled a critical 1 - so do I go back to bed?” he asks with a hopeful voice.

“No, that means you have to sweep the garage instead”, Jane helpfully explains. “I’ll have to get cracking modifying the car right after we are back.”

With a disappointed face, Lucas shuffles away through one of the back doors. He leaves the door open, and after a while, faint sweeping noises are heard.

Meanwhile, Corazon has made himself comfortable on a couch and starts leafing through a F1 history book. Jane, Mary and Michael make their way towards the exit.


Having arrived at their destination, Jane parks her Saarland Siegel Pilger station wagon on the curb, next to where the 1993 Seongu Kando II they rolled for as the base of their 24h race car is parked in a driveway.

“It looked better on your laptop”, Mary commented, slightly disappointed, as they approach the parked Kando.

Jane explained: “That was the manufacturer’s picture from back in the 1990s…”

“Look how tiny the rear seats are. I remember them being larger”, is Michael’s first comment.

“That’s only for the 5-door model”, Jane replies. “This one has only three doors… and smaller rear seats.”

“I can fit in there”, Mary says with suppressed laughter.

“You’d be the only one of us.” Michael walks around the car and reads the rear badge. “At least it’s the 1.3i - not the ancient 1.2l carburetted pushrod they sold until the bitter end.”

Jane opens the hood and has a look around. “Single overhead cam alright. And the simplest engine management system they could possibly get their hands on. But I am happy for any day where I don’t have to make a carburettor sing.”

In the meantime, Michael has opened the driver door, sits down and turns the key which is already in the ignition. He listens and then comments: “This is more like croaking, if you ask me.”

“It’s a 3-cylinder.” Jane shrugs. “Get used to it. Shakes like a bag o’ nails because of course they did not put balance shafts on it in 1982. And 1.3 litres is a bit on the hefty side for a three pot anyway.”

“You mean teapot?” Mike retorts and turns the engine off again in disgust.

“Come on!” Jane closes the hood with a loud clank. “See the possibilities!”

“Possibility to be dead last after 24 hours”, Mike replies.

Mary decides to step in. “Have some confidence, let Jane work her magic, and first, let’s close the deal.”

“Magic? Wrong setting - but at least someone who appreciates my craft.” Jane puts her hands on the hips and shoots a disapproving look at Michael.

Michael shakes his head and, after a moment, follows the other two into the seller’s house to formalise the transfer of ownership.

As they leave the house again after a short while with some papers in hand, Michael wonders: “What did he mean - we don’t roll on the price?”

“You don’t roll when it is time for shrewd negotiations.” From the smug expression on Mary’s face, one can deduce that she believes they got a pretty good deal on the Kando.

Michael reluctantly gets behind the wheel of the Kando while Jane and Mary take Jane’s Saarland for their short trip home.

To Michael’s surprise, the Kando starts on his first attempt.

OOC: Let me know if I should post a link or two to those folks who I am shamelessly ripping off heavily inspired by for my five-man band. Again, it’s probably funnier when you know.

Edit: As requested, it’s those folks from the outside xbox and outside xtra channels who enjoy a good RPG on the side in their time (with the first full complement of all five appearing from S1E7 onwards):
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoid6oOAGqMcZ3YWFqABFXbx9l5edm6XK , Oxventure in Space! The Oxventurers Guild Plays RPG Lasers & Feelings - YouTube

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I must say I don’t have a clue…maybe it becomes obvious when I see it but at the moment…no idea about the inspiration.

Team Shift Happens

(As expected, thank you to @Elizipeazie for collaborating with me here.)

Prologue

(Sorry, but you knew this would be a bit long. Thankfully, most of this is backstory and setup for how two teams come together at the track.)


“On this episode of Kaylie’s Garage, we recap what we’ve done to our rusty racecar, mention where we’re going, and make some last minute preparations for 24 hours of Clunkers!” Kaylie said enthusiastically, standing in front of a somewhat worn-out and well-used video camera.

In the background, the Grand Warden sat there, looking somewhat menacing and ominous courtesy of being a well-known police vehicle.

Meanwhile, the whole crew was watching the premiere of this episode, live with their fans, after a long build to get there.

“In the last bundle of weeks, we’ve taken this battered Bricksley from a target…”

Kivenaal grimaced as the clip of him taking shots at the rear of the car was played, followed by Kaylie yelling at him for shooting up a functioning car that had been bought, then forgotten about, a while ago.

“… into a functioning racing vehicle. First, we ripped out the interior,”

Kayden smirked as the clip of him pulling seats out of the car and literally throwing them into the building’s dumpster played. Those seats had reeked and there was no way in hell they were staying in the car.

“… figured out how to make the lights flash and the sirens scream,”

Rukari grinned as the clip of him turning the lights and siren on at two in the morning played, remembering the chaos of that morning quite well.

“… discovered a few problems,”

Takaraya groaned as he watched the clip of him trying his best to straighten out the body panels with a hammer, followed by Kivenaal pointing out that the front body subframe was about “as straight as a tree snake.” This was followed by a clip of the first road test, where they discovered the engine ran well, but the suspension was a bit off and the brakes weren’t great.

“… and fixed one of them.”

Malavera felt proud as he was the one who had welded up their specialized rollcage, and the clip was of his rather clean-looking welds.

“We then put a seat back in with some difficulty,” Kaylie-on-screen continued, now showing a clip of Rukari in the racing seat, supported off the floor by a bit of wood to take up the space of the seat rails, with the crew trying their best to make sure there was at least one position where he fit in it. This was followed by a clip of the fabrication of their low-profile custom seat rails, the installation of the seat, and a test to see how fast they could change between Rukari and Kaylie, followed by Kaylie to Kayden, and then Kayden to Rukari.

“… and got ourselves a bunch of spare parts.”

The clip showed Kivenaal carrying two toolboxes and pushing a third one on wheels, followed by Jayde carrying a box of brake and suspension pieces, Takaraya carrying two spare tires, Malavera carrying the other two, Kayden rolling a pair of tires into the shop for the car, Kaylie rolling the other pair in, and Rukari carrying a box of miscellaneous parts.

“We’re out of time to do more repairs on it now. We’ve got to book two flights to Sweden, one for our car, and the other for the seven of us,” Kaylie-on-screen said. “So we’ll be back next time with the results, and after that, a return to the Highwayman project.”


In Sweden, a small message popped up on Valentin’s phone:

Hey, Val, got a bit of a question. Any ideas on how to get a car from the US to Sweden? I know you did that with Robert, so, we’re looking for some options. Last year we took some risks we probably shouldn’t have, we’d like to be a little more sensible this year
– Kaylie

His reply was rather simple, but promising:

Cannot help you much with getting it across the pond. Look for whatever company that gets a 20’ shipping container across the sea and go from there. Once on Swedish soil, i can get it to wherever you need it. I’ll send you the formalities via E-Mail.
– Valentin

Thank you! We’ll look into some shipping options.
– Kaylie

Afterwards, he directly phoned his father, Rüdiger, with whom he communicated the upcoming contract, ending rather quickly as Rüdiger simply requested Val follow usual procedure just like with any other customer.
Easily said and done, as less than half an hour later, another message went back to Kaylie:

Need an E-Mail address to send you the details. In there, you’ll find everything from the transit itself (read: where shit is going), what is being transported and when it needs to be where.
Storage will be assigned as needed depending on the delivery time between pick-up and drop-off.
– Valentin

Yeah, not a problem. Send it to Malavera, I know you have his email, I’ll get it quickly enough. I’d send you mine, but Kayden tried to log into my account with his password and now it’s locked out until I contact tech support.
– Kaylie

A few minutes later, the E-Mails were sent off to Malavera’s address, containing a good 45 pages worth of attachments detailing the contract between Rüdiger Schrant Transport AB and Shift Happens. A second copy was attached as well, but in English instead.

E-Mails with the info are out.
– Valentin


Malavera had just gotten ready for bed when his computer chimed at him with a pleasant, if archaic “You’ve got Mail!” He groaned and walked over to the desktop, logged into his account and opened the e-mail he’d received.

Two attachments were there, one in English, one in Swedish. “Hunter, begin translating the Swedish document into English,” Malavera said, opening the English one and grabbing his reading glasses.

45 minutes later, Malavera picked up his phone and called Kaylie.

“Hello?” Kaylie asked.

“It’s Malavera. Got an interesting email from Valentin.”

“Oh, our shipping contract for the car. Yeah, set that up with Valentin earlier. If we get the car to Sweden, he’ll make sure it gets to the track,” Kaylie replied.

“I see. So, we just have to get the car there, then. I know someone who still owes me a favor, I’ll make a call. If he can’t help, I’ll make a few more,” Malavera replied.

“Okay. You do that,” Kaylie said, before hanging up.

Malavera stared at his phone for a moment, then shook his right head. His AI assistant, Hunter, then said, “Within 99.5% accuracy, the English copy of the Swedish document is identical. The discrepancies could be related to grammar or sentence syntax.”

Malavera sighed. “Sorry to waste your time, then.”

“I was finished before you made your phone call to Kaylie. I did not interrupt because you have told me before,” Hunter said, before switching from the crisp, unnatural semi-monotone voice he used to Malavera’s own, “It is fucking rude to interrupt someone’s phone call.”

Malavera shook his head and dialed another number on his phone. “Hey, John, it’s Mal. Remember when I got that ransomware off your work network so you could get cargo moving again? Yeah, I’m cashing in that favor you owe. I need to move a package from here to Sweden. A 1987 Bricksley Grand Warden police car. It’s going into a clunkers race over there. Yes, plane from here to California, shipping container from California to Sweden. Pickup is already arranged. Yeah, you’ll know where to send it once you give me some paperwork. I’m not going to try to play “name that port” because I can’t speak Swedish and you know it! Thank you, it’s good to know we’ve got shipping covered. Yeah, I’ll talk with you later. Goodbye.”

Malavera ended the call and sighed. “Hunter, when that paperwork gets emailed to me, fill out the information and send it, please. I am going to bed.”


A week before the race, the time has come for the car to be picked up from port. With little involvement from Val directly, The shipping container holding the Bricksley Grand Warden and a slew of tools and parts was loaded up onto a Euro-style 40-ton lorry, which then headed off to temporarily store the cargo until it needed delivery to the racetrack in the middle of nowhere.

Meanwhile, Val himself went to collect Shift Happens at the airport. Lacking a registered car to drive in (and that he fits into), he resorted to public transit, even though the distance would’ve been doable by bicycle if he had been healthy.
Still, he entered the terminal, not really going far in to avoid unnecessarily straining his still-recovering legs.

The flight from Nevada to Sweden was rather uneventful, with the only minor interruption to the card game going on inside being when the tires screeched on touchdown, followed by the roar of the turbofan engines under reverse thrust.

The cards were packed up, leaving their game inconclusive on that occasion, and each of them stepped off of the aircraft and into the terminal.

Kaylie was the first to really see Val, waving to him with her chrome left hand followed by leading the group toward him. Kayden and Rukari followed closely behind, while Kivenaal and Malavera lagged a bit behind, followed by Jayde walking with his new oak cane and Takaraya taking cautious and careful strides, making sure not to bump into anyone or step on any feet.

“Hello! Weren’t quite expecting to see you, Val!” Kaylie said. She had to fight her instinct to want to hug him, knowing he was still pretty damn sore after his ordeal and also knowing that Val wasn’t one for the whole “touchy-feely crap” as Malavera often called it.

“We’ve got most of the crew here. Our older brother,” Kayden said, “is keeping an eye on the phones back home.”

“Oh, speaking of the crew,” Kaylie said, “I know you’ve talked with him a couple of times, but… The big guy is Takaraya. I know, I know, he’s probably scaring the hell out of you, and we’ll try to keep some distance between the two of you, but, well, quite honestly it just didn’t feel right to make him sit this one out.”

Takaraya was about to greet Valentin when someone said something in Swedish, and judging by Kivenaal’s reaction, it wasn’t polite.

Kivenaal smirked at the insult, then fired back in not-exactly perfect Swedish, “:sweden: We might be ‘freaks,’ yes. You just have an elephant’s fart for a brain.” At that moment, the person trading insults with Kivenaal happened to notice Takaraya, went whiter than Valentin, and ran.

Takaraya sighed and shook his head. “I am not that scary,” he said with a light grimace.

“Uhm… not scary… sure…”, Val mumbled, trying to keep calm to the best of his abilities as he looked way up to the almost 9 foot tall half-mechanical werewolf.
As the insults came raining, he looked over at them, unsure on if he was part of the insult or not, either case being equally possible in his mind.
“Yeah… uhm… welcome to Gothenburg, i guess… Car should be off the boat already. Not sure on if it’s on our truck yet, though…”, he continues as he ‘subtly’ shuffles away from Takaraya in an effort to do exactly what Kaylie just said.

Kaylie looked over to Takaraya, then back to Val and said, “You’ll get used to him eventually. You handled Jayde.”

Jayde countered in his own way, “Sure, he did, but it took a long time, and rightfully so.”

“Meeting someone new for some people can be scary,” Takaraya said. “I’ll keep my distance.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Kayden asked.

“Well…” Kivenaal said, “Kaylie did mention she wanted to go to a park first, before we find a hotel with room for all of us.”

“Really would like to show you around, but i am still in physical therapy to recover mobility and strength and all that. They did rip apart one knee to un-fuck the other, after all… not sure how far i can walk before they start to give way…”, Valentin said, despite not having a medically ordered limitation on how far he is allowed or recommended to walk.
“Also you haven’t booked anything in advance?”, Valentin inquired, as spontaneous entry into a hotel with a crew of seven could lead to not getting enough rooms.

Takaraya nodded, then said, “You are right to be cautious. It’s all too easy to overdo something in your physical therapy and end up either in a lot of pain, or worse, set yourself back again.”

Kaylie chuckled, however, when Valentin asked if they really hadn’t booked anything in advance. “Even when we do, most of us end up sharing a room and throwing all the covers on the floor anyway. What’s the point in trying to get seven rooms when we know that it’ll be Kayden, Jayde and myself, Malavera and Kivenaal, and Rukari and Takaraya? Worst case scenario, we have to put Rukari in with us and Takaraya in with Mal and Kiva.”

Takaraya grimaced at that, though didn’t protest out loud. However, Kivenaal spoke up, “Is that really necessary? You have no idea how much space he takes up. Seriously, all of you curl up, he spreads out and covers an entire room.”

Jayde, however, came to Takaraya’s defense with, “Kivenaal, you’ve seen his back. If the scars were any rougher, they’d show through his fur.”

Kayden smirked. “Admit it, Kiva, the real reason you don’t want Takaraya in your room is because-”

“Not one more word,” Malavera said, glaring at Kayden, who clearly realized then that he’d crossed a boundary.

“Sorry, Mal. Didn’t mean to tease you and Kiva quite like that,” Kayden replied.

“I mean you do you… i would’ve secured the rooms at least somewhat ahead of time. I cannot have all seven of you sleep in my flat unless you can all do it standing up.”, Valentin said, half jokingly.
“In either case the bus to town is in the same direction for all of us, unless you managed to procure a chartered bus to ferry you there.”

Valentin then just looks to where he was coming from to catch whichever next bus is heading into town.

“Well, none of us thought to hire a bus,” Kaylie said, glancing at Malavera for confirmation.

“Yeah, sorry, I was trying to get the flight locked in,” Malavera replied.

Kayden, on the other hand, had spotted Valentin’s rather quite tall sock poking out from under a rolled-up pant leg. “If I might ask, Valentin, what’s with the tall socks? I mean, I know your kind wear them for protection and insulation, but, I’ve not seen them that tall before.”

Jayde grimaced slightly, balancing on his mechanical left leg and his cane so he could rub a sore right ankle. When Kaylie looked at him, Jayde shook his head. “It’s just sore, Kaylie. I’m probably putting too much weight on it because my left leg always hurts.”

Takaraya looked far off into the distance, spotting a bus on the road. “Don’t know if it’s coming here, but there’s a bus,” he said, pointing at it.

“Good luck finding a room, then.” Valentin spoke as he turned back around to face the group.
As Kayden asked about the socks he was wearing, he looked down at the one exposed one for a brief moment.

“Those? Compression stockings. I’m about the tallest guy in Sweden as far as i know. Being tall isn’t ideal for your cardiovascular system and all that due to the added load. Those socks help a bit in getting the blood back to my heart against gravity.”, he explained, swaying a bit from side to side to loosen up his joints.

“Yep. Painful ankle. Been there, done that.”, he commented as Jayde complained about a sore right biological ankle.
“Also. Every bus that goes round the terminal road stops here. No point in detouring across an airport lot with the highway next door going straight on.”

“I don’t envy you,” Takaraya said when Valentin mentioned compression stockings. “Putting on a pair of those used to be my least favorite part of getting ready in the morning.”

Kayden glanced back at Takaraya, then for a moment at both Kivenaal and Jayde. Kivenaal grimaced. “Great, I know that look from Kayden. When the lot of us get home, I know at least two of us that just earned ourselves a checkup.”

“To be fair, Kivenaal, between yourself and Rukari, it’s like a normal person and Val. Then there’s myself, Kaylie, and Jayde. Our older brother is normal height at about 6 feet and 7 inches tall. I’m 7 feet, 8 inches tall, which puts me in Val’s territory. What does that mean for Jayde?” Kayden said.

“I don’t understand why you hate doctor’s visits so much, Kivenaal,” Jayde said.

“Bad history,” Malavera replied. “Believe me, I’m surprised he can use a shower with a glass door without panicking.”

Kaylie shook her head, then said, “Anyway, not much of that is important right now. One, it looks like Takaraya was right and our bus is coming, and, two, I have a somewhat important question to ask.” She looked to Valentin with a light smile, then asked, “Would you be interested in coming to our wedding?” Kaylie asked, as Jayde gently grabbed her hand, knowing she was a bit nervous.

“Wait what? I wasn’t aware that you… were this close to each other… i mean… sure… if i can get that inbetween my therapy sessions…”, Valentin stammered as the group went out of the terminal towards the bus bays out front. It was obvious that Val had very little experience in such things both from third parties as well as himself.
“I’ll text you my schedule sometime, i guess… Not that it’ll have an impact on your marriage date and time or anything…”

Kaylie smiled. “We haven’t exactly been keeping it a secret. Though, I suppose it is reasonable that you weren’t aware of it.”

“Kaylie, don’t tease him. He’s seen us for maybe an hour or two at a time,” Jayde replied.

“I’m not teasing him, Jayde. As you said, between his accident and recovery, and then only seeing the two of us for brief bits of time, he’s not seen us often enough to know that we’re close,” Kaylie mentioned. “Anyway, as you said, Valentin, text us your schedule and we’ll let you know if it might be possible.”

As they got onboard the bus, it was obvious that all eyes were on the large, animalistic members of Shift Happens, with most of them having to deal with finding seats that offered at least some minimal amount of space.

In the bus, Valentin pulls out an almost brand-spanking new phone, apparently going through his calendar. A few moments later, the screen displays just the current week, fairly easily seen by those around him.
“Well i have a critical appointment in two days. Most of the other stuff in here can probably be shuffled around if need be…”, Valentin mumbles half aloud as he swipes from one day in his calendar to the next.
“Leg Day. Leg day… Shoulders. Mixing things up, is he?”

At this point he remembers that he is looking because Kaylie asked for it.
“Yeah depending on when you plan to do that i may be able to attend. Might need to make some calls and/ or not be able to stay for too long. But it should be possible.”, Valentin said, this time directly addressing Kaylie instead of mumbling into his beard.

Kaylie smiled, then said, “Well, it was always going to be a semi-private deal, just in a park or by a lake, somewhere with a nice view. But…”

Jayde spoke up, “Kaylie put my last name as hers on our entry form, so… It’s within the week.”

Kaylie lightly swatted Jayde’s arm. “Really? You had to mention that?”

“Well, Valentin needs to know what day to be at the wedding, Kaylie. He can’t do that if even we don’t fully know,” Jayde admitted. “Personally, I’m of the mindset that earlier is better in general.”

Kaylie chuckled. “Well, Valentin, seeing as the wedding is this week, how do you feel about tomorrow? Casual wear is quite fine, I think about the only one who actually has a suit is Kivenaal, and that’s because, well…”

“Kaylie wouldn’t let me be my usual self at the wedding,” Kivenaal said.

“Isn’t that a bit spontaneous? Like… at minimum, you need a priest to actually pull of the bond between you two… unless you have drastically different wedding traditions…”, Valentin responded, surprised at how quickly they wanted to do it, seemingly ignoring the planning needed even for a small-scale wedding.
“I can try to free up tomorrow if you somehow got that sorted already. I’d be very surprised if you did, though…”, he added as he pocketed his phone for the time being.

Nova spoke up from within Kayden’s pocket, “No problem, Valentin. I did a bit of calling around, found a priest who’s willing and able to perform the ceremony in four days time. Would be a lot better if the two lovebirds would have thought ahead of time on this, admittedly, but at least that crisis is settled.”

“Thank you, Nova,” Jayde replied. “Admittedly, I’m still learning.”

“Yeah, the other morning, he was trying to make phone calls with his phone upside down. I still don’t know how you do that, either,” Kayden added.

“Still better than Rukari,” Kaylie said. “I’m not sure he’ll ever quite learn that just because you can’t see the person on the other end of the line doesn’t mean they can’t hear you.”

Takaraya watched through the windows of the bus, seeing a stop coming up soon, and tightened his grip - just a little - on the railing he was holding onto in case their stop was less-than-graceful.

“Four days also is more than enough ahead notice that i should be able to attend as well. With proper clothing and all.”, Valentin commented as he checked the display showing the stop the bus was approaching.

“Next one is mine. Flats are way cheaper at the edge of town.”, he added as the bus came to a silky-smooth stop at the station.

Takaraya led the group off of the bus, taking care not to shake the vehicle too much as he walked down the steps and out onto the sidewalk. The others followed behind, with Jayde bringing up the rear of the group, and Nova already providing directions to the hotel she had, mercifully, booked mid-flight for the group.


Four Days Later, 10 AM


Even though it had all been planned and was as simple as it could be for a wedding, Kaylie had to admit she was nervous. She stood in the open air of the park, wearing a light, almost-practical dress compared to most brides at their own wedding. She looked over at Jayde, almost surprised at how well he turned out when dressed up in a nice suit.

What surprised her the most, though, was that the others had at least tried to show up in proper formal clothing. Kivenaal was dressed up quite well in a suit, dress shirt, tie, slacks, and even dress shoes, and her brother, Kayden, at least had the shirt, tie, slacks, and had polished up his good pair of boots. Takaraya towered over everyone there in his dark blue military dress uniform, a handful of medals on display, and Rukari likewise had his dark, royal-purple military dress uniform on, displaying far more medals. The only odd-one-out of the crowd was Malavera, who at least made an effort to not look like he’d just walked up off of the street, though his slacks, combat boots, and white long-sleeved shirt left a lot to be desired regarding a ‘formal’ attire.

She looked around for Valentin, though couldn’t see him right away. She knew, however, that it was a large area, Val was on foot, and even though he was tall, she might not see him past the taller people there.

It also could very well have been his clothing that caused Kaylie to miss Valentin, as he was wearing a full on set of formal clothing complete with double-breasted suit jacket, tie and a white dress shirt underneath. A pair of slacks and dress shoes hide his compression socks with surprising effectiveness.

“Just saying that you are ‘in the park’ isn’t exactly descriptive.”, Valentin commented as he approached the group, albeit slower than usual.
“Well, at least i made it. Had to move today’s therapy to the evening, but it’ll do.”

He then took a vague look around the general area, spotting most of Shift Happens in clothing that he wasn’t exactly used to, but also had little issue with.

“Seems like you all dressed up for the occasion as well.”, Valentin remarked, motioning to all the others present at the wedding.

“Sorry, Val. We weren’t entirely sure where we’d be either. Avoiding being too close to other groups was, well, a priority,” Kaylie said. “Have to say, that suit looks really good on you.”

When Val mentioned all of them had dressed up for the occasion, Kayden smirked. “Most of us did. Malavera missed the mark a bit, but then again, I suppose it is a bit hard to find suits made for him.”

Kivenaal’s response was to cross both sets of arms and glare at Kayden, who immediately put his hands up and said, “Hey, I get it, don’t tease Malavera around you.”

“He tried,” Kivenaal responded. “On the other hand, you had four days and more than enough opportunities to get a fitted suit.”

“Hey, no starting fights out here, Kayden,” Jayde warned. “I don’t care if it’s just verbal sparring, don’t do it today.”

Takaraya glanced over at Valentin, then admitted, “To be fair, I feel more than a little out of place in my uniform.”

“Thanks, i guess… haven’t worn it in years, so it’s a little loose now that i am a bit lighter than last time i wore it.”, he replied, trying to stay low and avoid being praised too much.

As the verbal gunfight unfolded regarding Malavera’s choice of clothing, he was somewhat confused as he didn’t see an issue with what Malavera was wearing.

“I think he looks fine as-is. Yes, he’s not a penguin, but i think it qualifies a ‘formal’ attire.”, he commented, though any reply was stepped onto by the priest starting the marriage ceremony.

After that it was the usual affair of a very drawn-out speech from the priest before Kaylie and Jayde exchanged vows, before Kivenaal handed the rings to the newlywed couple.
Valentin actually enjoyed the process and calmly watched it go it’s way, even if the view of two massive (even for him) humanoid animals covered head-to-toe in fur was a little jarring at a human-style wedding.

Still, a round of applause followed after the process was completed and the couple seemed to be having the time of their life judging by the width of their respective smiles.

Takaraya smiled, holding his camera as he took various pictures of Kaylie and Jayde at their wedding. Even though he wouldn’t be able to see the same beauty in the colors his camera was capturing today, he would still be able to appreciate the moment in his own way. After the ceremony, however, Takaraya made one polite request.

“Could everyone who is here please stand to either side of Kaylie and Jayde, please?” Takaraya asked. He checked through the viewfinder as people moved around, occasionally motioning for people to squeeze in a little more. Once he felt satisfied that everyone was in place, Takaraya took the picture, then did a follow-up one for good measure.

Kaylie smiled, tears of joy in her eyes as she held Jayde’s hand. She knew that while things weren’t perfect, she also knew as a mechanic that it was never a good idea to let perfect be the enemy of a good plan. Sure, if she’d planned this out better, she’d have had the perfect venue, a priest she may actually have known by name, a proper list of guests and fancy invitations, and a photographer who could see colors, but on the other hand, she might not have had all of her friends here, may have missed out on a great view, and would have had to find a photographer who wouldn’t panic at first sight of the group. No matter what happened at the track in a few days, she’d remember this trip fondly for the rest of her life.

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