The 2024 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers (4AM - 8AM)

Team Chitco
Part 1: Going smoothly so far

Let's splash!

SPLASH

  • Really, you HAD to do it?
  • As it turns out, yes.

Tad bit earlier, Michaela had been passing nearby when she heard one of nicest sentences to her ears that could be said during the event:

She took a glance, confirmed this very likely is Silva in question and, as one example of Daniloski rival was enough for her, had returned to pits with victorious face.
She just won the bet she had with Andrea. One of Snippets from journey, if you will.
One bucket of water of ambient temperature later and one very soaked Andrea later (as we started this part, actually), group has focused on preparing to race.

Well, except Dennis who found out there was some collage paper, scissors and basic glue.
Picture of what I’m referring to by “collage paper” is below


Example features 10 sheets of differently colored paper which have backside that can be peeled off. You cut out shapes using scissors, peel said backside and stick it to paper; backside removed reveals these sheets are sticky and therefore glue themselves to paper.
He would then apply glue to back of paper that holds his collage “art” and decides to distribute it around by sticking said art on wherever he pleases, much to chagrin of other members of team.

For most part, Edward finds his turn rather nice and so far, car haven’t attracted any damage.
After some nice rest, Pedro ends up in hot seat while Edward goes to rest. Next part would be Mat’s to take.

CAKE!

To no surprise, Dennis found out about birthday party of another participant…which meant cake.
So while Andrea and Pi had intention of attending just by themselves, they were joined by Tom, Anna AND Dennis because children like free cake and by Chicota because he was looking for drink buddies in regards to beer.

Despite the note that it’s very likely all Yumeisotitanians need to be sober for event, Chicota still insisted on bringing some beer: 5 crates and 6 bottles to be exact.
Besides…

  • Nobody in Chitco team actually had meaningful present to bring to Kanna
  • Beer can be consumed after event

Thankfully, Dennis behaved so the numerous group caused no issues.

The Incident

Sextet that was mentioned to hang out at YEAR is still there and they were checked upon by Pedro due to his worry of misbehaving offspring.
After realizing they indeed behave, but are under sugar rush due to cake and soda, he left that garage.

Michaela was doing some very basic karate moves, because she was somewhat bored and had gained the knowledge of them as she was sparing partner for Daniloski, who trained it for quite some time AKA would get absolutely wrecked by someone stronger and who used said moves on her.
Sora follows situation on track as it’s Edward’s turn to drive around.
Raufoss does it because he has nothing to do.

Speaking of Edward…he had different issues on his mind.

The VerBanka nearly hits the Globus, brake-checking the Astral - both vehicles manage to avoid further collisions. Cody just rolls on by, shaking his head and laughing as he gets on the radio.

“None of you lot would survive 30 minutes in Chicago. This whole race has been a fun Sunday drive for me,” Cody quips.

Edward responds.

  • As I’m not exactly from around here, I’m not aware what and where this “Chicago” is, but you could have caused this kinda thing many times over since 8pm.

And then he thought he had turned off the radio, which wasn’t true. Whether or not anyone will listen to him is another matter.

  • This whole thing reminds me of chases me and those two have when they steal car from me…again. All of us are fine, but the amount of chaos we leave behind is insane. Someone might even find it comedic.

  • Now THAT’S definitely going to be a hot hatch now.
  • They will likely not be amused by that comment Michaela
  • Would just deny facts in that case…which sounds like their problem

She now takes the wheel. Not that it was too hard to be most skilled listed driver of this particular team, but she nevertheless is. Michaela was also only confirmed member with skills with repairing stuff that will actually engage in that activity.
Chicota, who was currently occupied by enjoying the party at YEAR by drinking beer and deploying someone to bring some more, would beat her in both criteria…but as mentioned, he prefers drinking beer and having fun.

Just two relevant things shall be noted:

  • kids had had enough and had fallen asleep at YEAR garage near the end of party. Chicota is now tasked with carrying non-beer cargo one by one towards van and trailer.
    Andrea and Pi are probably gonna stay and enjoy company of Chanty and Angel

  • After about hour of driving, Michaela is under effects of adrenaline resulting in good, but not clean laps. Thankfully it doesn’t seem it will result in her actually working as mechanic aka fixing up some mistake of hers.

Midnight team member situation

As the midnight comes, some idle people you may encounter in Chitco garage would be:

  • Raufoss
  • Sora

Edward, Pedro and Pedro’s children are resting either in garage or in parking lot (van and trailer)

Andrea, Chicota and Pi are still with YEAR: middle one got used to this group as drink buddies (despite them likely drinking their soda instead of beer he brought) and girls are hanging out with Chanty and Angel.
All three will likely try to help with her mood: predictably, Chicota notes that beer might help her being less stressed.

Mat and Michaela are either preparing to get in a car or out of it, respectively.

Mentioned teams:
Let’s splash!

  • Seinäjoki Speed Freaks - @nicxv

CAKE!

The Incident

  • Highway Hooligans - @Madrias
  • YEAR - Angelustyle

Midnight team member situation

5 Likes

TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN - 8 PM TO MIDNIGHT

“OK, do we need to show you where the accelerator is, or can you find it yourself?”, Filip Andersson and Eric Carlén asked Mats Hansen with a great deal of sarcasm when he took over the wheel.

“Eh, remember that I bought this car, I really should know… Besides, it is an ARVA so it won’t help anyway.”

At least he got back on the track before the Flint. What they were arguing about in the pits? Who knows. But it was a slow pace. Even slower than an ARVA usually does.

“PRESS THE PEDAL TO THE RIGHT!”, Carlén and Andersson were laughing in the radio.

“I WILL TEACH YOU PEDAL TO THE…FUCK!”

The old discount tyres did not seem to respond very well to “the pedal to the right”. At least he was taking away from the Qua that was shrinking in the mirror, but with the Sedlak close to lapping…suddenly the Sedlak was thrown forward against the ARVA with a cloud of dust behind it, but without hitting the actual car. Hansen knew, however, that there were probably a mess behind them…

“You drive so slow that the cars behind you has to brake and gets into tangles”, Andersson and Carlén laughed in the radio.

The race went on rather uneventful, some dodging of cars bouncing around on the track. A little skidding around in the bends, the ARVA went back into the pits with the rest of the crew now sleeping…

HOOOOOOOOONK!

“Huh?”, A dizzy Filip Andersson said, waking up from some dream about popup headlights and digital gauges.

“Uhm… Damn, you drive so slow that we fall asleep”, Carlén said.

“At least I don’t get entangled in drama. Now, fill up the tank!”

After refuelling, the Archanan shitbox went back, but not without some sputtering…

“CRAP! I really hope that the carburetor setup isn’t starting to malfunction, because that’s bad news!”, Hansen was shouting on the radio.

“Who the fuck did even run carbs in 1989?”, Andersson said to Carlén.

“Ask ARVA why they were running two”, he answered rather salty. “Probably taken off the road for failing the emissions testing…would not surprise me.”

The ARVA continued driving around the track at a slow pace and yet with wide skids around the bends…

“He is so slow that he has fallen to second to last position now”, Andersson said with a sigh.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Team Off-the-Books, 8 pm - Midnight

It was 8 pm, and Hank Richmond was regretting every decision he had made to get himself to this point...

He hadn’t felt that way a mere two hours ago, when he had been woken up by a smiling Hans Gustavson. Hans had just finished his second two-hour driving stint and had come to get some rest. Hans told Hank the team was in the lead, and that it felt “just like old times” out on the track. They had shared a quick bite to eat, swapping pieces of their light meals and giving each other some good-natured ribbing over each other’s food choices. Hans described Hank’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich as “a combination of the world’s worst Nutella and jam with way too much sugar in it,” while Hank had offered that Hans’s pickled herring on crispbread was like “edible cardboard” and “something that old-time sailors probably ate just because they had to.” Then Hans turned in for some rest, and Hank headed to the pits.

That was when the feeling of dread in Hank’s stomach had started to grow.

The first thing he saw was their Flint coming around a bend with Sam Prescott behind the wheel and some considerable damage to its front quarter. He pulled on a headset.

“Sam,” he said, “what happened to our car?”

“Oh, that little scratch?”, came Sam’s reply over the radio. “Just a little dust-up with some bugger who didn’t know how to drive.”

“Sam–,” Hank started, but he was cut off.

“Look, Hank, I’ve already been thoroughly scolded by Hans about that little incident, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to focus on driving. I pinky swear that I will try to keep my nose clean this time out.”

It did not, in fact, seem like Sam was really trying to keep her nose clean. Hank listened as the radio was punctuated with exclamations from Sam. “Come on, you bugger!” “Don’t you know how to drive!” “Woo! Eat my dust!” Hank saw Sam attempt–and manage to execute–more than a few passing maneuvers that he would have described as overly aggressive, but Sam miraculously managed to avoid another collision.
He couldn’t say the same about the other cars, though. Cars were slamming into guardrails. They were slamming into each other. And there were a few personalities on the track who made Sam look tame by comparison. There was a young man a few places down in the pits who seemed to be constantly yelling at everyone about everything in some foreign language–maybe Finnish? And there was an older man–he guessed German–who also seemed to do an awful lot of yelling.

This was not Hank’s classic car club he usually raced with, where the other drivers were just as interested as he was in not scratching their carefully restored paint. Heck, most of these cars hardly had any paint actually left.

As his sense of dread grew, Hank started wondering why he had spent his own money and used his own vacation days to come to the subarctic hinterlands to drive around with a bunch of maniacs in deathtraps. He could have used that time and money to go somewhere else. Like a beach. A nice, warm, tropical beach, where he could be relaxing in the sun. Maybe with a nice fruity drink in his hand with one of those little umbrellas in it. And a strong shot of alcohol. But no, he’d had to let himself get strong-armed into this by Sam. Wasn’t he supposed to be the mentor in the relationship? The one who talked his young colleague out of doing rash things? Instead, he’d let her talk him into doing something rash.

So it was 8 pm, and Hank Richmond was regretting every decision he had made to get himself to this point, when Sam Prescott came roaring into the pits for the driver change. His driver change.

Sam leapt out of the car looking tired and sweaty, but with a triumphant smile on her face.

“Come on Hank, let’s go! We’re in the lead!”

Hank froze.

“No, no, I can’t do this,” he said, a hint of panic creeping into his normally calm demeanor.

“What do you mean you can’t do this, Hank? You’re up on the driving roster! It was your idea to swap drivers every two hours. And if we don’t follow our roster, we’ll be disqualified!”

“Sam, these people out here are crazy! I’m used to a little friendly competition with my classic car club for a couple hours on a weekend here or there, not racing with a bunch of lunatics with a death wish!”

A hint of fury was creeping into Sam’s face and voice. “Hank, come on! We’re in the lead! Pull yourself together! If you weren’t ready to do this, the time to make that decision was weeks ago! Not now!”

Hank just looked at the ground and shook his head tensely.

“Alright, then, maybe Hans can talk some sense into you!” Sam reached for the walkie-talkie to contact Hans, who was sleeping nearby. Hank grabbed her arm. “Hank!,” Sam shouted, glaring at him with a combination of surprise and fury.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Hank muttered, letting her arm go. “No need to wake up Hans. He needs to rest. I’ll do it.”

“OK! Come on, get a move on!”

Hank reluctantly pulled on his helmet and made his march to the gallows as he approached the Flint and pulled open the door. Sam pulled on the headset.

As Hank started to pull down the pit lane and approach the merge point with the track, a red Cago station wagon came barreling down the track. Hank was hesitant to accelerate.

“Come on, Hank,” Sam yelled into the headset, “You can beat that car onto the track!”

Hank pressed down on the accelerator for a moment, then lost his nerve and slammed on the brakes. He felt the stuttering of the anti-lock brakes as they struggled to bring the massive car to as sudden of a stop as they could manage. The Flint came to a rest with its nose just sticking out into the track, and the Cago swerved to avoid it.

“Thank you, Fred!,” Hank exclaimed over the radio.

“Fred? What, is that what you say when you don’t want to take the Lord’s name in vain?”

“Huh?” said Hank, as he now finally piloted the Flint onto the track. “Oh, no, I meant Fred Jovanovich. He was the lead engineer for the ABS system on the Sovereign back in the day. He taught me pretty much everything I know about anti-lock braking systems. He retired a few years back. I think he has a condo down in Florida now…”

Hank continued prattling on about his old colleague and all of the lessons he had learned from him. Sam was, at first, exasperated and considering telling Hank to shut up and drive, but then she realized that Hank’s rambling about the intricacies of anti-lock brake systems, the finer points of traction control design, the early struggles of designing for side crash protection, and so on, and so on, was actually helping Hank calm down. So instead of cutting Hank off, she half-listened and threw in the occasional “Really?” and “Interesting” to encourage Hank to keep going. Eventually, it seemed Hank settled down and was rounding the track at a reasonably consistent pace. Not a fast pace, mind you, and the team seemed to be losing ground. But at least Hank no longer seemed on the brink of a panic attack.

Hank was still going on about the time Fred had accidentally started a fire while testing a seatbelt pretensioner when Sam interrupted. “Alright, Hank, it’s 10 pm. Time to bring it in.”

“What? It’s 10 already? Oh man, I shouldn’t have been talking that whole time. You know, talking while driving puts a strain on the driver’s attention and takes away from their attention on the road.”

“I know, Hank, but it was either let you talk or let you have a panic attack. I figured talking was the better option.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Hank pulled into the pits, and as he stepped out and Sam approached the car, he smiled a broad grin, clasped her hand, and embraced her. “Thanks, Sam. Now let’s go win this thing!”

“You know it!,” Sam shouted as she hurried into the car.

And for the next two hours, Hank once again listened while Sam cursed, shouted, and rejoiced as she made her way around the track without incident, only punctuated by a routine fuel stop. He could do this, he thought. He could, couldn’t he? Only time would tell.

5 Likes

Part 7: Old and new friends

including team Chitko by @MrdjaNikolen and Speed Freaks by @nicxv

At Kannas birthday not only YEAR was present, also the Chitcos visited her…

Pi: “BOOO!”

Chanty: “AAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Pi: “Do you have forgotten about us?”

Chanty: “Eh…eh… eh?”

Andrea: “We looked for you but couldn´t find you, and I already thought you don´t want to greet us. We feel a bit neglected.”

Chanty: “I…am sorry, really, I… was stressed, and it was so chaotic, and…”

Pi: “Oh no, please, don´t cry, I mean, it was irony, everything is alright, we are not mad…”

Chanty: “So… we are still friends?”

Andrea, laughing: “Of course we are! And it was such a pleasure to watch you in action on the track.”

Pi: “Definitely the most entertaining driver there, fast enough and a few risky moves, I actually had a hard time believing it was you, I only know your soft side.”

Chanty: “Yes… I mean, I don´t like being agressive too much, although, I can´t really control it… I wish I could.”

Andrea: “That´s definitely your fathers genes. I mean, the money for a paternity test would be wasted.”

Pi: “And we got you some beer!”

Chitoka: “Although my programming tells me that beer is not a healthy beverage.”

,Chanty: “Oh, eh, I will drive again later, but since this will take some hours until I have to, one is fine… EH IS THIS A ROBOT?”

Andrea: “Yes, Chitoka… I felt like the company of a centaur is no longer weird enough since most know Pi already and are used to her.”

Chanty: “Now that´s cool…”

After a lot of hugs and chatter, she made her way back to the trailer, as she started to feel really tired.

Alexandra: “OH! There you are…”

Chanty: “Oh… eh, …”

Alexandra: “Why do you look so scared? Is everything ok?”

Chanty: “I… almost completely destroyed your car, I thought you wanted to…”

Alexandra: “You really think I would be mad at you? No, actually I am proud of you that you have hit the right person. Akseli really deserves some extra work as punishment for his backstabbing.”

Chanty: “Eh, what? Sorry, I am a bit dumb today… well, maybe not just today.”

Alexandra: “Stop it. That´s not the thoughts you should have.”

Chanty: “I doubt that I will have no more thoughts at all when Mikko is done with me…”

Alexandra: “I will prevent this. Also, Jani told me that your team would protect him and me in case we get in serious trouble, so, don´t they also look after you?”

Chanty: “Sure… maybe even a bit too much, but you deserve it more.”

Both had maybe 15 minutes of chatter, and Alexandra tried her best to charge Chantys confidence battery, as she would need that for her second time driving. Also, she apologized to Jan for her anger outburst, but her boyfriend already had forgotten about that and made her hot chocolate as goodnight drink, while Thomas did his best to close up to the top three.

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Ah, good old Bennypira. The best band to ever exist.

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I mean, they were famous with their advert jingle for Dr. Dangoths.

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PART 4 - MIDNIGHT - 4 AM

It is obvious now that Thomas Nilfert more or less have to wrestle the large, heavy Globus around the rather crowded track, it is really not an optimal choice of car, if seen only from that standpoint. Another beast that seems to be a struggle around the track is the ARVA. The VerBanka now needs refuelling. The Mara, on the other hand, has just been in for one and leaves pits in a smokeshow.

The Cutter drifts through a corner in a spectacular way that probably costs it some time though. The DAW is plowing through another corner, only to almost lose control by sudden liftoff oversteer instead. The WAZ barely avoids hitting it. That in turn blocks any possibilities for the Cago to pass for a while. The Qua starts to sputter due to lack of fuel and has to go in for refuelling. The Brunelle does a slight push on the Torrento that doesn’t seem to do much damage to any of the cars. But then in turn the Vortex hits the Brunelle. It sends some debris flying, and the Brunelle looks rather sad, but it seems like it can continue racing anyway. Mat in the VerBanka takes it easy through that cloud of dust.

The Cago has been driving rather fast for a while but that means taking higher risks, and now it hits the Torrento rather hard. The Cago has to do a pitstop to beat a little bit on the bent up front fenders that are now rubbing the wheels. We have seen this before it feels like - the Bricksley doing some guardrail scraping. Almost as a replay, the ARVA does an identical maneuver just after it. The Phoenix goes in for refuelling. The driver of the Ishii seems to overestimate the grip, doing a wide drift through a corner.

The Torrento does some rail scraping without too much visible damage. The Cutter has to brake not to hit it. The DAW on the other hand barely avoids it after plowing straight in a corner. The Cago has a kind of hard time to pass the DAW. We get a report that one of the front strut top bearings on the Qua is shot, which leads to a pitstop for changing it. The Brunelle comes into a rather nasty counterskid that Romain Frémont has a hard time sorting out. The Mishuto then hits the WAZ, sending it spinning. The VerBanka then taps the Cago lightly.

The Qua tries to avoid a skidding Mishuto that once again uses the handbrake to counteract understeer. However, the result is hitting the VerBanka instead. That encounter does not cause too much drama, though. More drama is caused by the DAW hitting the much larger Bricksley. Somehow, the Bricksely has taken a bit to much earlier from all the crashing, and now stands with a bent frame and is out of the race. The exocage of the DAW seems to have been working well, though. Still, the DAW is taken in for a checkup as well as a fuel stop, but it seems to be OK and we hear the team cheering about “I can’t believe how good Patrik Lindvall is at welding!”. To add some insult to the injury, the Torrento sideswipes the now stationary Bricksley before it has started rolling back to the pits, sending some body panels from the Torrento flying. The Vortex goes in for refuelling. Unfortunately, while going in for refuelling, the team observes that the engine is pissing coolant, which is tracked to being one of the core plugs in the engine that has a rust hole in it. They manage to patch it up with some JB-weld but doing that “properly” + some troubles bleeding the cooling system leads to a rather long pitstop. The Brunelle slides slightly through a corner.

The Cutter exits the pits with a wild skid after a fuel stop. The Mishuto has to brake not to hit it. The DAW gives the Globus a little tap, which doesn’t seem to affect the cars at all. The Torrento manages to slow down in time to not hit the DAW. Shortly after that, it goes in to refuel.The Vortex spins its tyres slightly after leaving the pits for the core plug repair. The Mara takes a corner a bit wide, so does the ARVA following it. For some unknown reason the Sedlak seems to be drifting towards the Globus which ends with a skid for the Sedlak, though without hitting any car or object. The Ishii has to slow down to not hit it.

The Cutter loses the grip in a corner and spins around. The Mishuto swipes the rail slightly.The Qua gives the DAW a slight tap, but without any major damage to the cars. Somehow the DAW still spins around, stalls and has a hard time getting started again. The Torrento has to swerve to not hit the stationary DAW, as well as the WAZ and Cago. The ARVA comes next, but that attempt results in a spinout.

Some guardrail scraping by the Cutter means that the rear bumper is now hanging on only one bolt, so a visit in the pits later, it is removed altogether. The Torrento swerves to avoid debris on the track from the Cutter. The WAZ spins around after taking a corner too fast. That means the Mara coming behind it has to slow down. The ARVA swipes the rail so badly that a door gets torn off, hanging on only one bolt and there is some arguing in the pits about how to best get it back. The next car to hit the rail, front first, is the Brunelle, and with the engine bay now the size to fit a moped engine, they give up this race. Suspiciously enough, the Sedlak once again drifts towards the Globus, and spins out.

With 8 hours left of the race, the standings are as follows:


  1. Team off the books - Flint - Lap # 1063 @oldmanbuick (0)
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  2. The rot - Ishii - Lap # 1042 @Chaedder (+1)
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  3. The Interceptors - Mara - Lap # 1041 @AndiD (-1)
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  4. The Rhinos - Globus - Lap #1012 @Happyhungryhippo (+1)
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  5. Team PhirmEggPlant - Mishuto - Lap # 1011 @PhirmEggplant (-1)
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  6. Seinäjoki speed freaks - Sedlak - Lap #1006 @Nicxv (0)
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  7. Три Полоски Racing Team - WAZ - Lap #998 @0rangeghost (0)
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  8. Team Bowling - DAW - Lap #989 @Djadania (0)
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  9. Team Chitco - VerBanka - Lap #977 @MrdjaNikolen (+1)
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  10. Team Vortex - Vortex - Lap # 963 @George (-1)
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  11. Team Marian’s Dream - Phoenix - Lap #953 @Tailgate_sniffer (+1)
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  12. Team Vet Inte - Cago - Lap #943 @06DPA (+1)
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  13. Bugs in the Code - Torrento - Lap #918 @Fayeding_spray & @Leone(+1)
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  14. Team Left for dead - Cutter - Lap # 902 @stm316 (+3)
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  15. HeltR SkeltR & Marcel - Brunelle - Lap #895 (DNF) @Dildoplocus (0)
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  16. Team Trafikjournalen - ARVA - Lap #880 @Knugcab (-2)
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  17. Y.E.A.R. - Qua - Lap #875 @Angelustyle (+2)
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  18. The Highway Hooligans - Bricksley - Lap #837 (DNF) @Madrias (-2)
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  19. A wing and a prayer - Astral - Lap # 736 (DNF) @Rambow (-8)
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8 Likes

Team Highway Hooligans

Race, Midnight to 4 AM


Trevor takes over at the midnight driver change, taking two shakedown laps to figure out how much of a rolling wreck he’d “inherited” from Cody’s spirited driving. Deciding the car was “good enough,” he puts the hammer down and lets their turbocharged I5 sing, tires squealing around every corner like a 1970’s cop chase movie.

About an hour in, Trevor’s decision to push the car harder leaves him riding the guardrail around one corner, and the ARVA does the same behind him, both cars managing to carry a little more speed through that corner than usual at the expense of the paint and the bodywork.

The engine roars as Trevor tries to make up some ground, tires squealing as the battered old heavyweight meant for hauling people around town instead has to haul ass around the track.

However, all good things must come to an end. When the DAW shunts itself into the left rear quarter panel of the Bricksley, Trevor knows the car’s already run the last lap it’ll do today. The sound of the driveshaft rubbing on the chassis tunnel is more than enough to let him know, even as the car rolls to a stop, that the frame is bent.

“Hey, jackass! Thanks for using my car as your brake. Assholes!” Trevor yells into the radio as the DAW retreats, exo-cage still intact. (@Djadania for the mention.)

As Trevor tries to get the poor I5 started again to limp the mortally wounded Bricksley into the pits, he gets sideswiped by the Torrento.

“For fuck’s sake, it’s not like our car is stealth-fucking-black!” (@Fayeding_Spray & @Leone )

Eventually, the tow truck hauls the bananaed Bricksley into the pit lane, and Jake, Cody, and a reluctant-but-sleepy Scott try to diagnose how to fix it.

Trevor calmly explains, “About the only way we’re going to be able to fix it would be to request Kasiya to come here and bend it back. The DAW torpedoed us, frame’s bent, we’re done.”

Scott growls and rummages through the toolbox, starting first by slinging wrenches at the DAW as it passes by the pit lane, trying to shatter the windshield to knock it out of the race, before grabbing the big sledgehammer and resting it on his shoulder as he walks over to the rest of their team.

“Which one of you drives next?” Scott demands, claws out and leaving scratches in the wooden handle of the hammer.

“Whoa, whoa whoa, hold up there, Scott,” Jake says, jogging over to defuse the situation as much as he can. “I’m sure that was just an accident.”

“Right… Because welding a cage around the car is an accident…” Scott growls.

“Dude, come on, you’re going to get us thrown out of the track,” Jake pleads. “First the wrenches, and now this…”

Scott whirls around and grabs Jake’s shoulder, then walks the two back over to the Bricksley. “Right. So what have I gotten to do, then? You brought me out here to race and yet the car is done, long before my time to shine. You brought me here because I had the most experience driving one of these in anger. So let me drive IN ANGER, damn it, because this car is not done yet!

“Frame’s bent, Scott, and we can’t straighten it,” Trevor replies.

“I swear by the Half-Dead Sun, it’s drivable,” Scott retorts, looking at the damage for himself. When he sees the driveshaft, however, is touching the frame rail, his anger reignites.

“I’m going to kill them.”

“No, you’re going to stay right here and calm down,” Cody says. “Last time a Hooligan lost their temper like that, they got hard time in an Oregon jail. We don’t need to try dealing with getting you out of a Swedish jail.”

Scott growls, then slams the sledgehammer down on the roof of the Bricksley, caving in the section where the rear seats would go.

“FUCK!”

“Sorry to have wasted the trip, man,” Trevor says. “I thought we had it.”


And so ends the Highway Hooligans’ run.

Team interactions will still be available… But we’re definitely not racing anymore.

4 Likes

And as usual…strategy change plans and such, deadline monday 5 PM CET.

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Romain Frémont manages to get the Brunelle back to the pits. Robert welcomes him with a punch in the face :

“- What the hell did you do !!?? My beauty ! You wrecked it ! I’m gonna wreck you 'cause now we fucking can’t finish that race for fuck’s sake ! Come here. Come here you little shit !!”
Romain runs through the pits, making things from everyone’s pit fall on the ground to slow down Robert, and manages to lose him.

Robert, out of his mind, grabs the first heavy tool that he finds : a spare part from the DAW’s external rollcage. He power walks back to the Brunelle and starts knocking hard on the front frame’s interior, trying to bend it back to a better shape. It does one thing : a hole in the radiator. He yells mean things to the car and for the attention of Romain.

While everyone around is looking at his madness, wondering how to calm him, Robert gets a strap and starts tying a knot around the Brunelle’s front frame. He goes to the guardrail across from the pit lane and ties the other end of the strap there. People start worrying as it will obstruct any pit stop from the remaining competitors.

Robert gets in the Brunelle, struggles starting it, eventually making it happen, and begins manoeuvring to be sideways, facing the guardrail. He revs the engine to the top, releases the clutch, and the car burns out it reverse, progressively stretching the strap, until it gets to its full capacity. The guardail bends in a loud metal bang, but Robert keeps accelerating. To the surprise of everyone watching, the guardrail holds on, but what breaks is the front frame of the Brunelle, releasing the tension from the strap, and sending the car slamming its rear end into the pit building.

As the cloud of smoke dissipates, and in the silence of a stalled engine, people gathering around look in the cockpit and find Robert, collapsed on the steering wheel, crying all his frustration out. He definitely could use a drink…

Seeing that her father has no other bruise than his usual mental ones, Mary sneaks back out of the situation, hoping not to cross his father’s path for the next hours. She finds Rémi with his cellphone in his hand :

“- I just had Romain on the phone, is your dad okay ?”
“- Yeah… I mean, he’s sad and made a pretty mess in the pit, but he’ll be ok… We should let him alone for a moment, it’s not a good idea for us to go and see him, it will just gets him on his nerves again. I hope someone will be kind enough to bring him some alcohol, only this will work…”
“- Okay… Well he’ll definitely have what he wants, at least tonight ! I have to bring a first aid kit to Romain, he’s on the other side of the track, watching the show, wanna come with me ?”
“- Yes, let’s do this ! Thank you Rémi for being so kind.”
“- Haha don’t worry, I just wish I wasn’t such a non-social person, there seem to be nice people racing with us, some look weird but… Don’t we all, kind of ?”

To be continued at the post-race…

Quickly mentioning kind of everyone (sorry for the mess, I still hope it slows you down :stuck_out_tongue: ), and @Djadania thanks for the spare part, if you’re looking for it, it’s somewhere around HeltR SkeltR & Marcel pit…

PS : the “tool” used to bend the frame, where it came from, and what bends and breaks in the end, all this has been randomly chosen from a quick list I made (4 kinds of tool, the 19 teams, and twice a choice between the front frame, the strap and the guardail). In the end I really like what the dice gave me^^

6 Likes

Nothing to lose, all to win. Use the gas pedal to its fullest potential. Aggression is key.

3 Likes

Team Off-the-Books, midnight to 2 am

At midnight, Sam Prescott pulled back into the pits for a driver change, looking exhausted but joyous after completing her 6th hour driving over a 12 hour stretch. She hopped out of the car and pulled off her helmet as Hank approached.

“So, am I going to have to talk you into it this time?”

Hank chuckled. “No, I think I got that out of my system!”

“Good. Now get going! I’m going to get a bite to eat and them will be off to wake up Hans and get some sleep myself.”

Hank hopped into the Flint and drove off. This time, he managed to not come inches away from a crash. But as he pulled out of the pits, he thought about the earlier incident.

“Good old Fred,” he thought to himself. “I hope he’s enjoying Florida.”


At about 1 am, Hans’s voice crackled over Hank’s radio.

“Hank, how are you doing out there? Sam told me you were a little stressed out earlier.”

It had been smooth sailing for Hank for the past hour. Of course, there was still plenty of chaos on the track to go around, but every time he managed to stay out of trouble while cars went crashing around the track, he actually got more confident.”

“Yeah…that was not my proudest moment. But I’m good. It’s just that this isn’t exactly my classic car club out here.”

Hans chuckled. “That’s for sure.”

“I mean,” Hank continued, “some of these people out here are real maniacs. Have you seen that Finnish kid? And that German guy? Lots of yelling to go around.”

“You know,” said Hans, “I think I know that German guy you’re talking about. And I actually think I know him.”

“You do?”

“Yes…what was his name…Tom! We used to race together on Group A. Turbo Tom! That’s what everybody called him.”

“Was he called Turbo Tom because he was fast?”

Hans chuckled. “Well, no, it was a bit of irony. He and I were often duking it out near the back of the pack. That damn Contender was good on the straights, but you basically had to stop it to round a corner. We traded some paint and some trash talk back then. Don’t worry about him. His bark is worse than his bite, if you ask me.”

“If you say so. But I think he’s out here on the track now.”

“Is he? Well, unless he goes back into the pits, I guess I’ll be getting a chance to race against him soon. I’ll sub in for you at 2 am, Hank.”

Collaboration with @Happyhungryhippo to be continued…

3 Likes

Part 8: A mess and it isn´t even caused by Thomas or Chanty!

*including TOTB by @oldmanbuick, Highway Hooligans by @Madrias and HRSR&M by @Dildoplocus, mentioning Team Bowling by @Djadania and Speed Freaks by @nicxv *

While Chantal and Jan were asleep, with her firmly cuddling against him, Thomas was fighting against the Globus out on the track.

“HOW ARE COPS SUPPOSED TO CATCH ANYONE WITH THIS? Ah I forgot, in the USA its just straight lines anyway…”

But no matter how hard he tried, the Mara was not to get, but at least Thomas noticed that he closed up on the Mishuto which left some time in incidents.
In one of the incidents that started to increase, the Hooligans were out of the race.

Thomas: "Eeeeh, Hooligans, you might need some beer after the race - feel free to get that. I`ll go straight to bed after Chantal takes over, but will be back for the finish.

Scott: “I prefer the Chili Wodka that my teammates told me about.”

Thomas: “MAYBE I managed to smuggle some of it to Sweden…”

Cody: “The fuck Thomas, YOU TELL US THAT NOW? NOW? You visited us already AND DIDNT BRING IT WITH YOU?”

Thomas: “I wanted to save it for special moments, when it is needed the most, and looking at your car I was right about that.”

Cody: “Yeah, geezer, fuck you too.”

Thomas: “I don´t have a free hand right now, even if it´s an automatic, sorry to disappoint you, you dickhead.”

Scott: “Whatever you do with your hands out there, don´t forget to wash them before giving me the bottle!”

Soon after, the DAW`s exocage banged with the Globus, but the heavy police cruiser was more or less unimpressed by the light opponent.

Thomas: “Ugh, good to see that driver behind bars, whoever invented this has to be locked up anyway!”

Scott: “Nah, he doesn’t need to be behind bars - he needs a padded cell.”

Half an hour later, there was more of a threat - the Sedlak with a furious Mikko Harjanne at the wheel has now the perfect opportunity for revenge, as Thomas accellerated too hard out of a corner and has to deal with an one-tire-fire at the exit. Mikko aimed directly at the rear quarter and the wheel, propably an attempt to bend the rear axle of the Globus.

“TURBO-TOM, WATCH OUT! SEDLAK FROM BEHIND”

Thomas noticed the Sedlak, and braked hard, Mikko tried to avoid the guardrail, which he did, but spun out - at least without hitting anyone.

Thomas: “Thanks, but who was that? I wasn´t called Turbo-Tom in a while…”

Hans: “You´re not senile, think about it…”

Thomas: “What, you are THAT Hans Gustavson? Straightaway Hans? From Group A?"

Hans: “Hey, that nickname was only because that old Contender couldn’t corner! Kind of like that boat you’re driving!”

Thomas: “My boat!? What do you call that thing you’re driving?”

Hans: "A winner! And too bad you’ve always been better at defense than at driving consistently, because last I checked, my team had more than a few laps on you. Now speed up, or I lap you once again.”

Thomas: “Forget about it!”

But, not only is the Flint superior in handling, Hans Gustavson is also the slightly better driver, although Thomas managed to make a quite good impression in this event.

Hans: “Haha, I hope you are better at the wrench than at the steering wheel, otherwise I feel sorry for your customers.”

Thomas: “Ooooh, wait for it, after the race I will show you how good I am at wrenches!”

Hans: “Is that a threat, or what?”

Thomas: “Oh, that´s your coward interpretation of it. From my side, it´s just a promise…”

Hans: “I am looking foward to it, let´s see if you can drink as good as back then.”

Thomas: “You bet.”

Hans: “I hoped that you were going to say this. Maybe a duel between us that you can finally win.”

And, bad for Mikko, after the failed attempt, Thomas now had the rear mirror (the side mirrors were gone but there was still the interior mirror left) always in check.

At almost 4AM, Chantal woke up from a nightmare, and wanted to have a smoke and check the pit lane for what´s up. She came just in time to withness a real mess. Robert punches Romain, and Chantal hid immediately behind a tire stack, since the violence gave her flashbacks from being bullyed and beaten up at school. Robert chasing Romain with an iron rod made it much worse, since that reminded her of running away but being, with her very chubby figure, being too slow to escape.

Romain even used one tire of the stack to throw it in the way of Robert, who fell over it. Chanty already thought of being killed with that rod, but… Robert didn´t care for her at all, since he focussed on Romain. Instead, the sight of a very scared Chantal made Robert put his behaiviour in question, and he returned to his Brunelle, letting the anger out on the car in a desperate attempt to make it run again - but without success, instead, he slammed it into the pit wall.

Chanty, having recovered from the flashbacks, now stepped to the wreck that barely missed her, being everything but pleased about being put into stress by Robert.

Chantal: “DAMN, WHATEVER WASN´T BROKEN ON THIS CAR BEFORE YOU GOT IN IT, IS DEFINITELY NOW”

But Robert… was just crying behind the wheel, and since Chanty is an empath, her mood cooled down, and … she felt sorry for him.

Chantal: “Eh, I mean,… don´t you have insurance?..”

Robert: “NO INSURANCE PAYS ON A RACE TRACK! AND WORST OF ALL, THIS CAR IS IRREPLACEABLE!”

Chantal, sometimes not the brightest in interacting with others, started asking dumb questions instead letting Robert in peace…

Chantal: “But, why do you use it for such a race then?”

Jan: “Says the girl that cried for months because she trashed her first car in the 24h…”

Chantal: “Oh, what are you doing here?”

Jan: “I heard a loud bang, you were not in bed, and I guessed that you had something to do with it…”

Chantal: “YOU ARE MEAN!”

Robert: “WOULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE NOW? FUCK, I NEED WHISKY!”

Chantal: “I mean, that´s easy to fix, we got enough of that, and I guess my father will throw some party anyway…”

Out on the track, Thomas managed to pass the Mishuto, finally, but at the same time also the Sedlak, which made another ramming attempt, and Thomas reacted by first dodging to the left, so Mikko adjusted the course of his czech missile… just to find out that Thomas made, after the minimal turn to the left, already a hard right and a full stop, so that Mikko spun out once again in order to avoid the guardrail, and stepped into the Thomas trap once again.

Hans: “Damn, you fooled me already in Group A with that. Passing you was so hard as if you had training wheels attatched to your car.”

Thomas: “I hope that finnish brat didn´t look too close at it, I would hate it if he learns something from me.”

Hans: “Seems he already learned trashing the car from you, this thing looks quite sad…”

Thomas: “Nah, that was caused by my daughter.”

Hans: “Paternity test is wasted money then.”

Thomas: "Because she is such a beauty and looks as good as me?

Hans: Well, Thomas, to express it in your words: This is your interpretation…

6 Likes

Y.E.A.R.

Description of the Team

Last Episode (“Messy Sailing for a Messy María; Radio Problems Plague the Team”)

Race Episode 4:"Ángel's Mind Reading Retaliates, another Radio Incident occurs, and some Somber News from María are given"

Midnight.

Just as Midnight arrives, Ángel Yukobaiyaroslavl gets in his seat, feeling even more nervous than usual. No wonder why he is so nervous, after all, Mikko is driving out there. So Ángel attempts to communicate with him to try and apologize for the Radio Incident earlier.

Ángel:“Y.E.A.R. to Speed Freaks, Y.E.A.R. to Speed Freaks, Ángel speaking. Sorry for the incident earlier in the radio, I seriously don’t know what happens with our radio. But we’ll attempt it not to happen again. Sorry for the incident, hope you…”
Mikko:“SHUT THE FUCK UP ! SILLY RUSSIAN I SWEAR I’M GONNA…!”

Ángel turns off the radio in that instant, and changes back to his team channel.

Kanna:“Whoever you pissed, you pissed off quite badly.”
Ángel:“I’m not starting yet, as soon as Mikko passes this wall, I’m going.”
Catherine:“Good luck milksweet ! If it is for you that we DNF, Imma cry all night…”
Ángel:“That won’t happen.”

The Sedlak passes the Pit Wall, and Ángel gives Mikko a last message before setting off.

Ángel:“OK, Mikko. If it ain’t us taking you down, it’ll be your own rage towards us. Imma not say anything else… Hope you understand what I mean with this, and if not, well, it’s on you.”

And before Mikko can answer, Ángel switches back to Y.E.A.R’s Channel, and sets off as aggressively as always. For as much as Mikko looked far more professional than his more Eastern Counterpart, Ángel was simply better at staying out of trouble… That would show on Y.E.A.R.'s next stint.

Not much later…

Ángel’s driving was… Superb. He was very uncautions and unruly, but still he wasn’t all aggression and actually had the skill to handle the tricky handling of the Qua, even drifting it at corners perhaps. Sure, a fuel stop has slowed his pace a bit, but he’s doing fine till now.

But then…

Ángel:“Uhm… G-Girls… I feel an awkward vibration… I’m going to the pits for a moment.”
Catherine:“Don’t worry, Milksweet, we’ll get that fixed !”
María:“You better do…”

Said María, coming out of her own misery in the bathroom. Her night wasn’t turning any smoother though. You could see María starting to become quite pale…

Catherine:“Why is that ? No pressure on us, Miss Business !”
María:“Because… Uhm… I don’t know if telling you or not…”
Catherine:“You know anything you tell me will keep a secret if you want…same for the rest of us. But you’ll have to drag me somewhere where nobody can see us.”

Behind the garages, María finally gets the chance to… Release herself from all the stress.

Catherine:“So, what is it ?”
María:“My bosses threatened me. They don’t want me anymore. If I loose my job I’ll loose everything I have ! Everything I’ve worked so hard for in my 5 years !”
Catherine:“…Oh…”
María:“I think you can see why am I so stressed. It’s not only my Lactose Intolerance annoying me all day, it’s my current situation with the job…”
Catherine:“Calm down María… You’ve got us on your side.”
María:“But… What I’m going to do after I loose my job if I do ? Getting a similar job for lesser pay in Hokkaido is… Difficult, if not impossible. Even more difficult with my history.”
Catherine:“Well… You can always have a next chance. If you get fired, I’ll give you my apartment in Kitakyushu. It’s not like I use it anymore, I live with Ángel now.”

As María and Catherine had this mini-soap opera, Kanna and Ángel were fixing the car… Kanna attempted her best, but eventually she gave control to Ángel over the repairs… Teams were astonished to see THE DRIVER himself fixing his own car as he was on the track. However, just as that happens, Ángel suffers his usual problem…

The bane of his existence.

The thing that gave him so much pain all across this year’s Shitbox Rally… And what catapulted him to protagonism.

MIND READING ATTACKS !
It’s super effective !

Cody:“Awww, shit, not again…”

The guy covers his head, and yells of pain as he falls to the floor on the pit box, as he accidentally reads Cody’s mind. Lucky for them both, he doesn’t find anything relevant, but he stays there for almost 5 minutes, before he weakly gets back on his feat and continues working… As he does, he thinks… “Interestingly, I haven’t had this sort of incidents since a while ago… Hm… Maybe the defectiveness is being more merciful than usual”.

In a matter of minutes, they get the Qua going again, still in last place… But that wouldn’t last for long, as just a few minutes after that…

Kanna:“We are officially ahead of the Astral, which has DNFd.”
Ángel:“Good. I guess. I feel bad for Danver though.”

And after that, the game was on. Ángel tries to avoid the Mishuto, but hits the VerBanka. He once again has to do talking on the radio…

Ángel:“My bad, my bad. Didn’t meant to, sorry, I was trying to avoid these guys in the Mishuto. Still I think your car suffered less than ours, ours is a piece of paper in a world of bricks.”

That phrase wouldn’t stand for long however, as not much later, Kanna gave Ángel some interesting news on the Radio…

Kanna:“The Hooligans in the Bricksley are OUT !
Ángel:“Awwww, man… And I who wanted a lot to race with them. Oh, well, that’s what happens when you race María.”
Kanna:“Who knows ? Karma may have gotten them back.”
Ángel:“Hehe, yeah… Also, Kanna, keep in mind, you drive next ! You sure you can stay OK after that all-nighter ?”
Kanna:“I can, Ángel, I can…”
Ángel:“Good !”

Ángel later gave a tap to the DAW, but it was overall an uneventful hit. He once again gets to talk with them…

Ángel:“Look, I’m really sorry, again. Didn’t meant to hit you guys. With that exocage, I’m sure you don’t mind at all though.”

Before 3:30 AM, Catherine and María come back. And tell Kanna about María’s current job situation. In response to that, Kanna decides to tell Ángel, in order for them to increase caution. However, the Radio plays up once more, again with the Speed Freaks… And Mikko gets to hear all of that.

Kanna:“Kanna, to Ángel.”
Ángel:“Go on.”
Kanna:“We uh… We got some news. María apparently can loose her job if we DNF.”
Ángel:“DNF for what ? Any reason ?”
Kanna:“Yeah, any reason. She’s been nervous all night because of that.”
Ángel:“Her bosses are mad at her… But we won’t allow it ! You can hear me big sister ? We won’t allow any unfair thing happen to you ! Sure, you have done us a lot too, but, we don’t want you to pass thru this so badly.”
María:“Awwwww, thanks…”
Ángel:“Anyway… Kanna, you drive next.”
Akseli:“Uhhhh, guys, you’re on our channel again…”
Ángel:“Oh ! S-Sorry again, Akseli… Hey, Kanna, solve that !”
Kanna:“Will do. Hang on.”
Mikko:“Akseli, you moron ! You’re disallowing me to spy on their…”

His voice would cut once Y.E.A.R. corrected their communication issues for the second time that night. But it wouldn’t matter. He now knew María’s Secret.

And as Kanna heard that, she got her hand covering her mouth… Now the secret was open… And Mikko had the advantage over them now… Worse still, Kanna, the team’s second worst driver was driving next, and after her, the WORST driver, Hou.

María once again, cried… What is that Finnish Brat gonna do next ?

Seeing how the Sedlak slided all the way to the Globus on the corners, it did seem that the future on her life was bleak…

Current Status of… The Car !

  • One Strut Top went bust, but it was fixed.
  • Instrumentation and Radio now showing signs of failure…
  • Front Bumper hanging, Mirrors gone, Tail Lights working intermittently.

Repairs/Modifications/Inspection: Replacement of Strut Top. Radio Problems can still be fixed quite easily, but not permanently, so whenever they happen, they are fixed. Duck taped bumper. Minor Electrical Fixes.

Current Status of… The Team !

Ryoga: Sleeping peacefully.

Catherine: Happy to have her boyfriend back. She’s extraordinarily hungry (no seriously, she will eat anything), and tired though, wanting to head over and sleep too.

María: So nervous, so sick, but wanting to head over to sleep…

Ángel: Happy, but tired. So much so, that his Mechanical Skill dropped by 1 on the entirety of the next stint.

Kanna: Happy, but extraordinarily tired. Skill drops to 1. At the same time, aware of the need for caution. So caution increases by 1.

Hou: Sleeping blissfully.

Collabed with @nicxv , and mentioning @Rambow , @PhirmEggplant @Madrias , @Djadania and @MrdjaNikolen . Most characters open for some RP, so just ask.

4 Likes

stop pinging me, i already know that you d’n’d dice-rolled me out of the session, you dont gotta remind me every week.

Will do.

1 Like

Team Chitco
Part 2

On the track

Mat and Pedro will put all their might for these four hours and hope that race will be going as well as it did so far.
Mat will have tad bit easier job due to solid time spent refueling the car and checking some stuff, so Michaelina doesn’t get bored away.

AND

It’s not like he really needed to rest in the first 30 minutes of his stint.

This will come in handy however, as following 30 minutes were marked by some cars deciding to bonk into each other. Being as fresh as possible in this stage of race, Mat avoids being included in this group. Windshield is all dusty, however.

Second part of his stint resulted in incorrectly judged braking distance, no doubt contributed by dustiness applied tad bit more than 30 minutes ago
Radio chatter:
“Sorry about that, had some dust on the windshield from earlier…”
But as much as it was thin, bumper on Cago was effective in sorting this out.


Pedro also had close encounter with someone, but it wasn’t his fault

Pedro thought to respond, but recalled how Mat’s lapse of judgement at the end of his stint resulted in brush with Cago.
Also how this guy drove for more than said Mat at this point, so he waved it away.

Mentioned in this part:

Team Vet Inte - @06DPA
YEAR - @Angelustyle

In the pits, there is a BANG!

We will start with where it genuinely started regarding this part

  • Bricksley is out of the race.
  • Oh…shall we celebrate or not?
  • Nope, we are chatting with Jake from that team in TND and…they are good bunch.

Chicota decided to think about it before asking important question

  • Do they seem like kind of people that might enjoy a beer or two?
  • Probably. Wouldn’t hurt to ask.

So that’s exactly what Chicota decided to do, hauling few crates for starters.
This is at about time when Scott hopelessly tried to convince the others car can still drive…and before he himself took a peek under the car.
Chicota was about to announce his intentions, without delving too much into what they might be saying at that point, when Scott decided to show both his strength and extent of anger.
Needless to say, this was very convincing reason for Chicota to not press the matter further.


Raufoss heard rather violent and very loud noise, which prompted him to get his rifle out.
Probably an overkill, seeing that it’s Barrett M82 that we are talking about, but it is rifle he has.
Needless to say, Chicota conveniently returned in timely manner, informing him that “shot” Raufoss heard isn’t something that requires Barrett to solve.

Here is what was misinterpreted as shot:

Justified, as someone very strong, very angry and equipped with big sledgehammer is likely going to cause massive bang when directing said sledgehammer towards some steel…all of these criteria Scott met at that point.

In the pits, tears and beer hit the floor

Romain Fremont has experienced very troubling situation of being chased by two people from two teams after their Brunelle got DNFed and chase has started.
Besides Robert to whom crashed Brunelle originally belonged, he would be also chased by Chicota to whom beer he crashed on floor belonged. He crashed few beer bottles after tipping few beer crates over to stop (or at least slow down) Robert.
Romain did managed to make sufficient distance between himself and chasing party, in any case enough for both to lose (Chicota) or redirect (Robert) the temper.

Some time later:

  • I think this might contribute off your expertise, Sora…
  • Why?
  • I…really don’t think that guy had worn a seatbelt when reversing into the building.
  • He wasn’t going THAT fast.
  • And you aren’t really doing much anyway. Also Chicota might also go to apologise to dude he attempted to chase because of few beer bottles.
  • I now have less beer to drink. And it’s a waste of beer.
  • And he tried to use it to avoid receiving absolute beatdown by that black guy. He was likely just as angry as that panther-like guy.

Andrea had recollected the memories

  • Scott. Needed some time to remember his name. Will get you your beer if it means that much to you…also, they are out of race so you shall check if some beer might help the nerves.

Suddenly Chicota was more than happy to accompany Sora on the way towards those pits, with some “medicine” of his own.

  • Ok, we are here and he is crying and…where tf is rest of his team?
  • We can wait until he calms down
  • Really?
  • He doesn’t seem to be hurt, but might be intimidated by your height, so I’m staying here with you
  • Makes sense.

Chicota would seem to be having only about 80ish kg based on his thin build, but in fact having entire 100kg. While he doesn’t seem intimidating otherwise, he is 2m tall, hence Sora’s commentary.

Mentioned:

Highway Hooligans - @Madrias (In the pits, there is a BANG!)
HeltR SkeltR & Marcel - @Dildoplocus (In the pits, tears and beer hit the floor)

Team Chitco at 4am

Edward and Pedro are preparing to swap seats in VerBanka.
Pedro’s children are sleeping
Mat is in our pits
Raufoss is sleeping as well. Don’t worry, he put his gun away in vast meantime

Chicota and Sora are in pits of HeltR SkeltR & Marcel team, along with Chanty and Jan from Team Rhinos. Chicota will see if his beer can help Robert and Sora was sent to see if he isn’t physically hurt.

Andrea and Pi are not aware of above paragraph and are arguing with Michaelina about Daniloski and VerBanka brands

Mentioned:

Hippos - @Happyhungryhippo (except Thomas, who is on the track)
HeltR SkeltR & Marcel - Dildoplocus

5 Likes

TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN - MIDNIGHT TO 4 AM
“For fuck’s sake”, Filip Andersson said. “Hansen can’t drive!”

“I am kind of impressed how someone that drives so slow can drive so bad”, Erik Carlén answered, commenting on Hansen’s driving, trying to wrestle the Archanan beast through the track.

“Damn”, Hansen thought behind the wheel. “I REALLY have my hands full controlling this POS. WTF was I thinking when buying this piece of shit?”

“What the fuck were you thinking when buying this piece of shit?”, the radio suddenly buzzed.

“Hey!”, Hansen answered. “Thanks for pouring salt into my wounds!”

It was after all calm for a while. Hansen tried to follow the Bricksley, and…followed it. With a bang into the guardrail. Oh well. Other than that, calm. Until he saw the battle of the dwarves or something. The Qua tapping the exocage of the DAW. The DAW spinning around. Just waiting for the Torrento, the WAZ or the Cago to take the brunt of the impact, which never happened. The DAW being stalled on the track and…

“Oh shit!!!”

The DAW still being stationary meant that a rather fast maneuvre of swerving to avoid it had to be done. Which of course ended well. Or maybe less so, with the ARVA spinning around.

“What the fuck is he doing?”

The question was even more relevant a bit later. Suddenly in a corner, the rear door of the ARVA swung open, going into the guardrail which almost tore the door off. Rolling into the pits with the door attached to only one bolt, Andersson and Carlén sighed deeply.

“How come the car looks like it has been ran over by a monster truck despite you driving, like, 22 km/h?”, Andersson asked.

“How are we supposed to fix this?”, Carlén continued.

Inspecting the car, it was pretty clear that the rear door was shot to say the least. Somehow the latch must have failed in the corner, meaning some really hard contact between the door and guardrail. How that managed to break the hinges loose, well, let that remain a mystery, but there was nothing more to do than to remove the door completely. However, Hansen was still positive about a repair being possible.

“What kind of a weird idea do you have now?”, Andersson sighed, while Hansen went over to the Hooligans and their wrecked Bricksley.

“Oh well, seems like there is some drama surrounding the Brunelle now too”, Carlén said while waiting.

But anyway. With the ARVA now having a gaping hole where there once had been a door, there was a problem that needed to be solved. Having a “bright” idea as usual, Hansen saw the stranded Bricksley over at the Hooligans space in the pits. Taking a battery powered hacksaw with him, he went to the Hooligans and looked at the now banana shaped Bricksley.

“Ehm…excuse me. I guess this thing won’t be driving again, right?”

Jake looks over at Hansen, then shrugs. “Nope. We even talked with the officials about “just drivin’ it until it breaks completely,” but they said “No” to that.”

“Some bullshit about health and safety,” Trevor grumbles. “If you need sheet metal, there’s the roof, the trunk lid, and most of our hood available.”

Hansen laughed. “So…you knew what I wanted. I guess you saw the ARVA losing its door then.”

Scott nods. “We’ve got nothin’ else to do but sit and watch the race, and get shit-faced drunk.”

“Well”, Hansen answered. “It’s not really a hypercar that needs sidescoops like this”, he said, pointing at the remains of the Bricksley hood and laughing. “Ehhh, what the heck, I could as well cut the roof then I guess. A rather large flat panel after all. Well…it WAS flat at least”, he continued and looked at the large dent in the roof…

He started cutting out a large part of the roof, almost making the whole county of Värmland deaf trying to go through the sheetmetal with his hacksaw. When finally getting a patch large enough, he looked over at the sledgehammer Scott had used to make the dent in the roof to start with.

“Eh, that BFH is a bit more…respectable…than ours. We could sure need it for some sheetmetal forming I guess. Do you mind coming by to try to help us out of this misery?”, Hansen asked.

“Sure. I put a mighty dent in the roof out of frustration,” Scott admits, grabbing the heavy sledgehammer and resting it on a furry shoulder, “but I might as well help keep a team in who hasn’t been causing chaos. You lead, I’ll follow.”

Hansen was dragging the roof from the Bricksley towards their place in the pits where the now doorless ARVA was resting, with Carlén and Andersson doing some kind of cross between facepalming and sighing.

“Now, you two pessimists will get a demonstration of how easy things can be solved!”, Hansen said, laying the piece of metal that once was a Bricksley roof on the ground, jumping on it to somehow straighten out the worst dents. He got some self tapping screws, and attached the sheetmetal piece to the rear fender and to the front passenger door in a couple of places with those.

"OK, Scott, now give it some thwacks to get it in a somewhat closer shape, so we can continue… Just watch the beautiful diarrhea brown metallic, we don’t want any scratches in that beautiful paintjob, right?"

Scott laughs, getting the hammer into position and beating the panel into a shape that more closely resembled the hole they were trying to cover.

“Diarrhea brown metallic with a piss-yellow door replacement…”

Scott thinks for a moment, then motions to Cody. “Hey, Cody, get our hood ornament off the hood and bolt it onto theirs!”

Cody sets down his bottle of beer and unscrews the 3D printed toilet hood ornament from the Bricksley’s twin-scooped hood, then races over to the ARVA. “Fitting. Shit brown, piss yellow, and a toilet on the hood,” Cody says, holding up the hood ornament for the team to see while Scott attempts to mash the roof panel into the right position for Hansen to screw it into place.

“Yeah. I guess it is more worthy of a toilet now than the ARVA bear hood ornament that was stolen like usual anyway”, Hansen said. “Just attach it there with whatever you want. Hot glue, six inch nails, nylon rope…” He continued to fasten the panel. “Self tapping screws, every serious mechanics best friend”, he laughed. Scott kept doing some banging, Hansen kept bombing it with self tapping screws, and finally it was in place.

“Good as new, and much lighter too so I guess it will cut down our lap times with ten seconds, right?”

“We could cut them down by twenty if someone else than you was driving”, a tired Andersson answered.

Cody grins and pulls out a tube of five minute epoxy. “Between this shit and a screw, it’s never coming off again.” He quickly adheres the plastic toilet hood ornament to the hood, fastening it down with one of the screws that previously held it to the Bricksley’s hood.

After the panel had been fitted, Scott gives a light grin. “You guys go give 'em all the Royal Flush. You need any more spare sheet metal, we’ve got plenty of car left. Might even be able to swap in some parts if you need 'em,” he says with the same fanged grin.

“And now for the most important thing, the window!”, Hansen said, taking a roll of aluminium tape to cover the hole where the side window once was. “Look! Mirror tint, fitting for the luxury limo it is, right?”

“Wow. I can’t wait to drive this thing for the next eight hours”, a cynical Andersson answered.

“If he complains too much, I’ll show you how to cut that window film so it buzzes and hums at low speed,” Cody quips, giving the Trafikjournalen team a teasing grin.

“Shame it’s not turbocharged. A duck call in the blow-off valve is worth a good laugh,” Trevor adds.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Written in co-operation with @Madrias

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PART 5 - 4 AM - 8 AM
At the driver change, the Mara also gets its tank filled up. The Mishuto leaves the pits with spinning wheels after the drivers change. The Flint understeers heavily into a bend, and Hank Richmond tries to sort the situation by applying the handbrake, with a mildly put mediocre result, but at least not leading to any disaster even if it is very close to a crash with the Qua. Also, Rasmus barely avoids involving the Cago in a tangle there. The ARVA is now back from the pits with a full tank and a somewhat…original door replacement, but despite some rail banging it seems to hold together. The Phoenix has a kind of hard time passing the bouncing ARVA, and the DAW and Torrento coming after are also slightly slowed down.

The Mara gives the Cago a quite heavy hit, but with nothing but cosmetical damage in the end. D. Rose chooses to put the Mishuto into the rail instead of the spinning Cago. The Vortex has some trouble passing that mess. The next crash is between the Ishii and the Torrento. The Ishii looks tired to say the least, but can continue racing, while the Torrento has to do a pitstop to simply remove the crumpled potatochip of a fender that was bad enough after sideswiping the Bricksley, that now blocks the movement of the front wheel. The Cutter brakes to avoid getting into the crash. Hank Richmond in the Flint, who by the way recently is back from a fuel stop, notices the tangle a bit late, pulls the handbrake in panic, spins some rounds but avoids crashing into anything. The Qua enters the pits with a mysterious rattle from the back. It appears like the rear subframe mounts are toast, basically the subframe is close to coming loose, but the team decides to do all they can to try to weld them up, since a DNF would mean a disaster, they say. It seems like Rasmus in the Cago is not highly enthusiastic about having to wait for a slow moving Qua with its hazard lights on going into the pits, though. Once again, which seems suspicious, the Sedlak does an aggressive move towards the Globus, only ending up with the Sedlak banging the rail. Mikko for some reason looks rather upset when he is going in for refuelling soon after that. Fact is, he almost rammed the ARVA in what seems to be pure anger, which Filip Andersson managed to avoid, barely. But instead, the Phoenix hits the ARVA rather hard, but even if both cars looks sad, they can continue racing. The Torrento, now back from the pits, barely avoided getting into that tangle.

The Globus goes in to fill up the tank, so does the Mishuto. The Vortex comes fast through a corner, understeers, drivers pulls the handbrake to try to save it but spins around instead. The Cutter has to swerve to not hit the Vortex. Hank Richmond in the Flint takes it careful now to not get involved in this. The Qua returns with the subframe mounts welded, it seems like it does not handle 100% as good as before, but hopefully it will survive the race. The ARVA oversteers a bit more than what would have been optimal through the corners at the moment. The DAW does the opposite and plows a lot forwards. If John Arbuckle in the DAW looks excited that Eclipse in the Torrento tried to solve it by hitting the rear corner of the DAW, spinning it around? Absolutely not.

Richard Hammersbach gets a bit too exalted, takes a corner too fast with the Mara, spinning it around. The Mishuto tries to pass but finds no way through it. The next car to have some troubles there is the Cutter, drifting a bit too wide and getting into a counterskid when Lionel Winters is trying to straighten it up. Hank Richmond taking it a bit too easy at the same spot with the Flint instead results into some heavy understeer. Then the Cago hits the Globus. The Globus spins around while the Cago has to be taken into the pits to straighten out a control arm and also to get the tank filled up. Then the DAW hits the guardrail and it has to go into the pits to cut off some parts of the exocage that is now rubbing the front wheel.

It seems like the driver change to Jeremias Klackers haven’t done anything good because the Mara is still drifting a fair bit in the corners. Also, it seems like Chantal Nilfert that recently has taken the drivers seat of the Globus once again gets a bit too exalted since the powerslides are wide now to say the least. The WAZ goes in for refuelling. The Qua encounters some liftoff oversteer but Kanna Yukobaiyaroslavl manages to sort out the situation. Less sorted out is the Ishii that does a total spinout at the moment. At least the fuel situation is sorted out since it recently came back from refuelling. The Sedlak seems to surprise Jani Kyllonen by swinging out its tail after understeering slightly into a bend, but nothing worse than him being able to sort it out. That slows down the ARVA coming up behind a bit.

Chantal Nilfert in the Globus seems to keep driving with a kind of wild style that goes more sideways than straight ahead. The WAZ hits the rail so badly so it seems to have knocked loose some rods from the shifter linkage, leading to some of the gears now missing, which means a pitstop for that car. The Cutter then gives the ARVA a relatively heavy shunt, and honestly speaking, the ARVA more or less looks like if it has disintegrated into a cloud of rust now, meaning that our own team is out of the race. Meanwhile, the Cutter has a bent rim that needs a replacement in the pits. The Torrento goes in for refuelling. The Flint has to take it somewhat easy to pass the mess on the track at the moment.

Chantal is still driving the Globus like a maniac which is not really doing the lap times any favour, but looks spectacular. The WAZ tries to pass without any major luck. It seems like the temporary repair of the rear subframe has made the handling of the Qua a bit sketchy. Even sketchier is now the handling of the Ishii and after an inspection in the pits, it is pretty clear that they have to end racing here since the rust damaged front upper wishbone mount is almost starting to tear off from the car. The Vortex does some really serious rail banging and now looks rather crappy, but somehow still survives. Avoiding the bouncing Vortex causes some problems for Gustafsson in the Flint.

The Phoenix comes out from the pits with tyres spinning after a fuel stop. The Mishuto tries to pass it where it is a bit cramped, but the gap closes and it has to slow down. The Cago goes a bit wide through the bends. The Torrento does a rather wild spinout.

  1. Team off the books - Flint - Lap # 1323 @oldmanbuick (0)
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  2. The Interceptors - Mara - Lap # 1300 @AndiD (+1)
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  3. The Rhinos - Globus - Lap #1262 @Happyhungryhippo (+1)
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  4. Team PhirmEggPlant - Mishuto - Lap # 1261@PhirmEggplant (+1)
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  5. Seinäjoki speed freaks - Sedlak - Lap #1256 @Nicxv (+1)
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  6. The rot - Ishii - Lap # 1234 (DNF) @Chaedder (-4)
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  7. Три Полоски Racing Team - WAZ - Lap #1228 @0rangeghost (0)
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  8. Team Chitco - VerBanka - Lap #1222 @MrdjaNikolen (+1)
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  9. Team Vortex - Vortex - Lap # 1220 @George (+1)
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  10. Team Bowling - DAW - Lap #1219 @Djadania (-2)
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  11. Team Marian’s Dream - Phoenix - Lap #1188 @Tailgate_sniffer (0)
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  12. Team Vet Inte - Cago - Lap #1151 @06DPA (0)
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  13. Bugs in the Code - Torrento - Lap #1128 @Fayeding_spray & @Leone(0)
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  14. Team Left for dead - Cutter - Lap # 1122 @stm316 (0)
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  15. Y.E.A.R. - Qua - Lap #1073 @Angelustyle (+2)
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  16. Team Trafikjournalen - ARVA - Lap #1048 (DNF) @Knugcab (0)
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  17. HeltR SkeltR & Marcel - Brunelle - Lap #895 (DNF) @Dildoplocus (-2)
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  18. The Highway Hooligans - Bricksley - Lap #837 (DNF) @Madrias (0)
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  19. A wing and a prayer - Astral - Lap # 736 (DNF) - Rambow (0)
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A bit late maybe, but if you have some ideas, strategy changes or similar for next round, I want them before monday 5 PM CET.

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