TMCC 32: (Take Me) Six Sheets Under

[Happyhungryhippo]

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time writing movie history again!

The Plot

Germany, 1995: Nick Reimann, 19, is the son of the famous undertaker Gottlob Reimann - and of course loves that profession, too. He secretly loves the most popular girl in the parallel class, Bianca, but overlooks that the unpopular gothic girl Claudy actually is not only into the undertaking business, but also into him. The chaos between making his high school diploma, succeeding with his rock band and sorting his emotions as well as family trouble makes an excellent comedy.

Summary: Coming of Age black comedy of a young undertaker finishing high school and sorting some emotional teenie drama

The Rules

• All years 1995 or prior
• 91 RON fuel
• wagon or shooting brake body, 3D mod versions of something else can be ok, but please ask me first if that works as a hearse for me.
• Black paint
• Either curtain-covered or no rear windows (rear side and trunk) → it´s a hearse… some 3D fiddling might be neccecary
• Techpool: Engine TP cost: 5 Million, Trim TP cost: 6 Million (TP cost, NOT total cost)
• Quality must be between -5 and +5 to avoid cheesy minmaxing.
• Tire width must end with 5, no race parts and tires
• Since it´s hard to pin an emission level for cars that might be already 20 years old, I hereby ignore WES levels and require a three-way converter (to simulate a later refit, which was popular in the 90s to avoid astronomical taxes).
• Two seats required
• A crash test dummy (unscaled, so 1,0 size) has to be able to “sleep” in the rear of the vehicle.
• Interiors are welcomened but not judged

Summary: I would like to get a hearse.

PRIORITIES

High:

• Design (of course, it needs to stand out but still be a hearse),
• Drivability (it needs to do some inevitable stunts, of course, since the movie is produced by FFF that also makes Notruf 110…
• cost (I do not include a budget cap, so to force you to build not overly fancy cars I use this as a high priority instead. Yes, you can build a 1970 Cadillac with V8, the old trim year gives it lower prices than calculated for newer ones, I checked that with a test mule)

Medium:

• Reliability (even if an old clunker is proposed, it shouldnt stall already doing the first takes)
• Load space/capacity (because hearse, it actually needs to fit a coffin that will be measured with a crash test dummy prop as substitute)

Low:

• Prestige (nobody wants to be carried around in a shitty van for the very last ride)
• comfort (because building a fancy car hurts budget, this is some kind of reward to stand a chance)

Inspirations

From sane to wildcard

Timeframe
Rules deliberation until 31.01.2024, 18:00 GMT
Submissions will open then automatically if no delay is required, open until 15.01.2024, 20:00 GMT

[AndiD]

One suggestion to add (since I had someone actually fall victim to that with an E-Type hearse): Require that an adult test dummy (scaled at 0.8? 0.9?) actually fits into the ‘cargo space’, in order to avoid unfortunate implications…

[Happyhungryhippo]

As I wrote above, I will use a dummy to measure the space. Scale is 1,0 because … well, there still needs to be a coffin around it, in theory, so unscaling the dummy guarantees that the extra space used by the coffin is represented.

[abg7]

Why settle on 91 RON regular unleaded in a place and time where 95 RON had become increasingly commonplace? Is it to save costs? Also, if the maximum techpool cost values refer to total costs, why are they so low?

[Happyhungryhippo]

It´s acutally not that important with the fuel regulation, just took 91 for a more even competition, so that I don´t have to nitpick and calculate.

The TP cost refers to the Techpool cost (left tab), NOT the total cost, so it isn´t that low and should allow for some calculation games.

I also updated the brief in terms of the dummy that needs to fit to avoid confusion.

How about one week deadline after opening? Is that enough, or should I extend it to two weeks?

[mart1n2005]

Are we ok building the cars on a 5 door wagon body and covering over the rear doors? I know there are 3 door wagon bodies too but not for every body choice

[Happyhungryhippo]

Both 3 and 5 door wagons are ok since both exisits as a hearse.

[Knugcab]

With two days left and no entries yet, my suggestion is to extend the deadline to not get another AGC32 moment…

[Ch_Flash]

1995 Fanella Costa Molto Hearse

I just remembered that I made a hearse some time ago and it just happened to be a 1995…

Gallery

[moroza]

There’ll be at least one…

[mart1n2005]

I am working on something too, but I agree maybe adding a week on won’t hurt

[Happyhungryhippo]

What would be more desirable, one or two weeks more?

[moroza]

Don’t care. More time = more detailed stained glass and party space in the back.

[Happyhungryhippo]

Deadline is extended until 31.01.2024.

[Knugcab]

1974 ARVA P63 “CHERNAYA”

A classic Archanan hearse, well cared for, low mileage, no rust.

Spotless interior. Everything works as intended despite being 22 years old.

Catalytic converter retrofitted = lower tax. New tyres. Last model year before the facelift = still the most elegant design with more chrome and neater looking details. Price $7370 OBO.

[moroza]

For sale: 1937 DCMW Al-Jutha Standard, restored in 1990 with a DCMW crate engine, modern synchronized transmission, seats, audio, power steering, and more! Excellent condition, some stains in the back (don’t ask). Asking $17000.

Don’t ever laugh as a hearse goes by
For you may be the next to die
They wrap you up in bloody sheets
To drop you six feet underneath

They put you in a pinewood box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks
It all goes well for about a week
And then, your coffin begins to leak

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes

A slimy beetle with demon’s eyes
Chews through your stomach and out your sides
Your stomach turns to rancid grease
And pus pours out like melted cheese
You spread it on a slice of bread
And that’s what you’ll eat when you’re dead

And the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in
The ones that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in, and your hair falls out

Your brain turns into maggot pie
Your liver starts to liquefy
And for the living, all is well
As you sink further into hell

And the flames rise up to drag you down
Into the fire, where you will drown
Your skin melts off as you descend
Your suffering will never end

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
They’ll eat your guts and then shit them out
And when your bones begin to rot
The worms remain, but you do not

So don’t ever laugh as a hearse goes by
For someday, you’ll be the one to die
And when Death brings you cold despair
Ask yourself, “Will anyone care?”

[Happyhungryhippo]

Friendly reminder: A bit less than one week remaining.

[S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T]

Are we ok to build on a 2 door van body and make fake rear doors and windows to make a sedan-based hearse? I currently have a 90s 4 door sedan made on the commodore body that I want to turn into something like this:

The van body in question:

[abg7]

If it’s a panel wagon (which is what you’re showing us), then I’m assuming it’s OK to use that particular body style.

[Happyhungryhippo]

That looks like it fits as a hearse, won’t be binned