TMCC 32: (Take Me) Six Sheets Under

That looks like it fits as a hearse, won’t be binned

2 Likes

Hinode Mahkota Hearse

The definition of luxury
Inspired by the craftsmanship, hospitality, and indescribably beauty of Japan.
The highest center extended luxury sedan in the country.

Fit for two people.
An unrecognizable redesigning of the commonly used Hinode Mahkota car through the quality production by BGST Carroserie.
Providing a great sense of satisfaction not only for the drivers but also for the passengers.

Feel free to contact us for information regarding interior dimensions and more, including importation to other countries


Specification

Dimensions

Length (mm) 4,930
Width (mm) 1,785
Height (mm) 1,730
Wheelbase (mm) 2,730
Seating Capacity (person) 2 (3)

Engine

Grade Name Super Brougham Royal Brougham
Valvetrain Inline 6, DOHC 24 Valves Inline 6, DOHC 24 Valves
Fuel Delivery Port Injection Port Injection
Displacement (cc) 2,492 2,997
Bore x Stroke (mm) 86 x 71.5 86 x 86
Compression Ratio 10.5 10.5
Net Power (bhp) 170/6000 215/6000
Net Torque (Nm) 221/4900 280/4900
Fuel Type at least 91 RON at least 91 RON

Steering, Suspension, and Brakes

Steering Power-assisted Rack and Pinion
Front Suspension Double Wishbone
Rear Suspension Trailing Arm
Front Brakes Ventilated Discs
Rear Brakes Ventilated Discs
Transmission 4/5-Speed ECT-i Automatic

Copyright BGST Carosserie Co., Ltd. All rights reserved

12 Likes

uhh isn’t it technically three?

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Submissions are now closed. I will start reviewing on sunday evening.
As there are not a lot of entrants, it won´t take more than a week, I guess.

1 Like

THE FIRST LOOK

It has been a few days, but I was finally able to fulfil my duties and have an in-depth look at the entrants. Sadly, there are just four of them, which might be related to the fact that hearses are not everyone´s cup of tea. On the other hand, I was, as a host, keen to do something we haven´t had like 100 times before.

Now, we are coming to the bins. Three entrans are flawless. One isn´t.

The car by @moroza has 6,08m trim TP cost. A minor amount, so it can have happened when importing. I fixed this by reducing it to be just below 6m. Considering we have only four cars at all, and the violation was clearly minimal and could be fixed with a single click, the car is NOT binned.

Expect the next round with eliminations soon.

3 Likes

Blame the incessant torrent of “updates”. It still shows $5.92M on my end. Thanks for bearing with anyway.

I already thought it would be such a thing, so I felt like handling it the easy way is fair.

As I am always interessed in trying new ways of hosting and judging, I thought like this time I`ll try a different style of judging. I start with the high priorities:

DESIGN

Well, in this area, all four entrants shine. Each car has a consistent and fitting style with very good fixture work, even interiors are provided, although the Hinode has only a very basic one. It is not surprising that @moroza has the best interior detail quality, but also @knugcab would have scored well here, if interiors had been mandatory.

Arva: 7/10, well executed and fitting.
DCMW: 8/10, very good detail work and convincing, however a pre-war car is very difficult to judge and definitely outlandish. Which does not mean it´s not good, it totally deserves the high score.
Hinode: 7/10, as always, a Hinode is a pleasure to look at. Impressive detail quality, but no “WOW”-factor, just as the Arva.
Fanella: 10/10, I might be biased but that 90s aero look is great. It´s hard to find a car that is a better representation of this style, and it´s damn cool. But as the other cars are also very good, it´s not that huge advantage.

Drivability

The older, the harder to drive: This empty platitude is proved correct in this case. Fanella and Hinode are at the top, with noticeable distance to the Arva, which also leaves the DCMW clearly behind.

Arva: 5,7/10
DCMW: 4,8/10
Hinode: 6,5/10
Fanella: 6,4/10

Cost

Yes, sometimes you can judge a book by it´s cover, because the Arva is definitely by far the cheapest. It is dirt cheap, actually. @moroza and @ch_flash were the ones using quality sliders, staying within the limits, the others didn´t really bother with that.
The Arva could have profited from that, as $ 7370 are definitely much lower than I thought the cars would be. A clear victory in this criteria. The Hinode costs $ 17.000, the DCMW a hint less with 16.500. And then there is the Fanella… $ 31.800! A clear loss. Vented discs, luxury interior… that is clearly overdone with this ruleset. Sportiness is irrelevant, comfort a low priority, but you sacrificed a high (cost) and medium (reliability) score for that…
It is actually double painful to miss the target, which was estimated with 15-20k by me, because the Arva set the benchmark at almost one quarter (!) of the Fanella price, therefore the point difference is that huge.

Arva: 10/10
DCMW: 6/10
Hinode: 6/10
Fanella: 1/10

RANKING - POINTS MULTIPLICATED BY 3 AS THIS IS HIGH PRIORITY

  1. Arva, 68,1 points by @knugcab
  2. Hinode, 61,5 points by @s_u_c_c_u_l_e_n_t
  3. DCMW, 56,4 points by @moroza
  4. Fanella, 52,2 points by @ch_flash

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That is why it is called “Costa Molto” :wink: It was actually built on a clone of a mafioso luxury sedan and for some unknown reason I kept all the luxury stuff in it.

Made for QFC 23

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I doubt that comfort and prestige will fully compensate this. But so far, the Fanella still has a chance.

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The medium priorities

These scores can still be gamechangers, and the entrants are not too far apart. The Fanella fell over its high price, while the Arva did the opposite, a car relatively mediocre but for a price that is impossible to resist.

When we are looking at the reliability, we start with the current leader, the Arva. Well, the price means that compromises in quality were made, and with a score of 69, it isn´t impressive considering how simple it is. The Hinode manages to be slightlyl better, but still not really impressive for a modern car. The DCMW however, despite the ancient chassis, is helped by having a modern engine. This car seems to be some kind of restomod, and that´s totally fine and within the rules. With 79, the score is definitely the best here, while the Fanella serves stereotypes about italian luxury cars and is even slightly worse than the Arva. It´s now becoming difficult for the Fanella to still have a chance.

DCMW: 7,9/10
Hinode: 7,3/10
ARVA: 6,9/10
Fanella: 6,8/10

Next is the cargo volume. The Fanella by @Ch_Flash has another flaw, as it was a very rushed entry: Three full rear seats. WHY? That is totally unneccecary, compromising reliability, comfort, performance… and most of all: Cargo volume! You could easily have scored best here but threw it all away.

DCMW: 4/10, the ancient body style with seperate fenders is definitely the problem here. But the coffin fits, but don´t buy too many decorative flowers.
Fanella: 6/10 - could have won, but it did for the reason pointed out above.
ARVA: 6/10 - despite only two seats, it´s not roomier than the giant Fanella - but more nimble and cheaper.
Hinode: 7/10 - if a huge person deceases, you can fit the coffin size with this easily.

Standings after round 2:

@Knugcab : 93.9 points
@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T : 90,1 points
@moroza: 80,2 points
@Ch_Flash : 77,8 points

Well, as the next round will have a low impact, it seems like the high noon showdown will be between the Arva and the Hinode.

4 Likes

Is that based on stats or measurement?

stats.

I was afraid of that; at least at the time of JOC4A, cargo volume was very broken. There, for example, an MR Zephorus had about 1.5x higher stat than an FR Nordwagen with no back seats and a longer wheelbase. Obviously the Al-Jutha is rather narrow and low, but I suspect the stat is worse.

As the first part of the finale, let us now see who wins - while the new round will be set up by the winner, I will have some time to actually produce the movie. Yes, I will do that, although not as detailed as CSCS, since I am with fever in bed, so I need to delay the production by a few hours or a day, as I can´t focus for more than an hour. The story and plot was written long ago, but doing visuals was pointless if you didnt have a winner yet. So I can´t promise anything but I will definitely try to make the hosting worth the quality put into all these entrants that were all definitely above average detail level.

So, now we move on to the low priorities: Comfort. Not only for the person lying in the back, but the actual occupants.

The Fanella as pure luxury vehicle of course wins here with impressive 57, while the cheap Arva is… well, at least better than a horse carraige from 1881. Right in the middle are the Hinode and the DCMW, the latter suffering from the ancient chassis.

Fanella: 5,7/10
DCMW: 3,6/10
ARVA: 1/10
Hinode: 3,8/10

The Prestige is another useless win for the Fanella. It does swipe the floor in the one-star priorities, but that made it fail in categories that were rated double, or in case of the cost, triple. It is not surprising that the Arva also ends up dead last again here, but at least, being driven in an Arva isn´t as bad as if a BetterDeals HPD was your hearse, in this case I would get out of my coffin and walk to the grave myself.

Fanella: 5,2/10
DCMW: 3,9/10
ARVA: 2,3/10
Hinode: 4,2/10

So, this means we are now counting beans and revealing a winner!

  1. Hinode: 98,1 points
  2. ARVA: 97,2 points
  3. Fanella: 88,7 points
  4. DCMW: 87,7 points

The Hinode by @S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T really sneaked on the top through the backdoor, standing out nowhere, but actually not showing any weakness. This entry played it as safe as possible by always hitting the golden middle of everything. This is reflected in the looks that are not impressive but surely sophisticated and pleasant.

The ARVA by @Knugcab tried it with getting full points in a three-star priority, and actually, this worked. It led the competition until the very last judging criteria, and we can clearly see why: Good detailing, consistent engineering that makes sense for this type of car and the usual knugcab realism. A deserved silver medal!

The Fanella by @Ch_Flash makes me a bit sad. It wasted too much potential. If it had two seats and a premium interior, I guess it would not have left such a gap to the Arva, maybe even being a contender for the win. Nevertheless, Flash again proved that he is a top-level designer, and the engineering, apart from the goofs pointed out, seemed alright.

The DCMW by @moroza doesn´t have to hide: It plays a bit in it´s own league as a stylish restomod. Considering the disadvantages of using a 1946 chassis and body, it actually did compete quite strong here. And, and this is most important, you can clearly see the creator had fun and determination in this car, so even if you didn´t win, you hopefully had a great time building this and contributing perfectly to the DCMW/Nordwagen brand identity.

6 Likes

Congrats to the winner! I was a bit confused by the brief and who the car was for. For actual professional use as a hearse, the Hinode’s win is well-deserved. For something more theatrical… some inspirations:

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Thanks @Happyhungryhippo for hosting this round. I have a few ideas in mind but I want to refine them further, so I will need a few days to finish things up and host the next TMCC round if things go well.

1 Like

Well, there are a couple of challenges ending in the upcoming days, I guess giving a couple of days for a new TMCC will give it a start at the right moment.

SIX SHEETS UNDER - a movie produced in Hetvesia for TV by FFF (Film, Funk und Fernsehen) in 1995.

Disclaimer: This is totally absurd 1990s humor. I don´t think it is totally appropriate by 2024s political correctness, but I paid a lot of attention to not break a forum rule. In fact, this should still be entertaining more than offending, so it is weird and absurd, but not disturbing.

Nick Reimann, 19, is the son of the famous undertaker Gottlob Reimann - and of course loves that profession, too. He secretly loves the most popular girl in the parallel class, Bianca, but overlooks that the unpopular gothic girl Claudy actually is into him. Nick is currently practicing with his garage band, the “Dentists of Doom”, when suddenly his father storms in and yells at his son that they have to attend a funeral soon, and that he should move his ass.

While Gottlob Reimann prepares the location, Nick finishes preparation of the body and notices that the coffin is cracked, and is determined to get another one from the storage, but on the way back he spots the cheerleader and most popular girl of the school, Bianca, who Nick is secretly in love with, with another guy, Gero von Selbitz, in a yellow Cavaliere Nobile. The guy challenges Nick into a race, and both speed off.


At the same time Kriminalhauptkommissar Rainer Sordel and his partner Frank Batimus chase a criminal who has just stolen a blue Nordwagen.

Damn Frank! I want to leave reality back for our fictional show, Notruf 110! There it is much easier to get the baddies, because something strange happens and the suspect crashes!

Rainer, does this look like one of our episodes? GET ON THE GAS!



The race between the Hinode and the Cavaliere continues. But when the hearse spins, the rear hatch, not properly closed before, swings open and catapults the coffin directly towards the fugitive the two cops are after.





Rainer! ATTENTION!

I just called the department for a morning COFFEE, NOT MORINING COFFIN! But that also works. Oh dear, that guy is wasted!

OH NO! I AM SORRY! I DON´T KNOW HOW…

Hey kiddo, who are you? Is that your coffin? Thanks a lot! This comes in handy, as the department has run out of coffins. You know what? They say Frank and me are… hahahaha… a danger to the public. Frank and me? Can you believe this?

Eeeh… eeh…

My partner Rainer is totally right. That guy is … finished, and what a concidence you just helped us out with a coffin as we emptied the stock yesterday! Great! Have a nice day!

A very irritated Nick drove off and fixes the cracked coffin he had at first with some glue, and proceeds as usual, when the coffin suddenly cracks in half when lifted into the ground… the scene ends with Gottlob yelling NIIIIICHOLAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!..

When Nick hides from his father and his belt, he encounters Claudy, the unpopular goth from school, who likes spending her free time among graves, performing ouija games and talking to ghosts. Nick asks her if she also could talk to his beloved grandmother, so they move to her grave and ask her, but the outcome is rather unpleasant, as the ghost spelled “I hung myself to get rid of you, and now you have nothing better to do than intruding the peace I found”.


Claudy, I think… my grandmother doesn´t hate me. Maybe you board hasn´t the best reception? It looks weird and the letters are… also weird.

Oh Nick, you know these TV cops with the blue Primus? They chased a blackmailer into Jupp Heisters bookstore in their last episode, and that was the only store to buy these ouija boards in town. I needed to order this online, and you really should not use this internet for shopping.

Inter, what?

Internet. As you might know, most goths are introverts and so we socialize via PC. I will show you the internet later. But even if this board is a scam, it DOES work. I can proof that.

Claudy then reveals to Nick that her good history grades are helped by the fact she could ask the old dead people how it was back then. A confused Nick makes the best out of it and asks Freiherr Gustaf von Varchim, a long deceased playboy, how to get the woman of his dreams. Claudy suddenly becomes sad, when Nick mentions its to get Bianca, but in all his motivation, Nick doesn´t notice. Gustafs answer is short: Money! Although Claudy tells that that is bullshit, Nick believes it: He needs money!

It seems like a perfect sign that his father accompanies his mother to Berlau, where she is hired as opera singer. Gottlob strictly tells Nick to not cause any more trouble and waves with his belt, then leaves with his Fanella. Their second car, the Hinode, is still there, but Nick has to use a logbook that will be strictly controlled, so fun drives with the car won´t be possible.



As next, he uses the company PC and Claudy builds a website for him, advertizing the basement rooms with the coffins as hotel. All 12 coffins are reserved within a short time period, as a group of necrophiles from Archana booked it instantly. The same evening, a shady man named Frag Alucard and his friends throw the cash on the table. When Nick woke up and checked the basement, not only was the group gone, also all dead bodys were taken out of the refrigerators, but Nick, not understanding what happened, just puts them back where they came from, and goes to school as usual.

At school, he tries to impress Bianca by buying her snacks, but after having taken that, she goes back to a jealous Gero and his attractive sports car. Nick, green with envy, decides to get a sports car as well. His friend and band companion Alex excitedly tells him about getting one by throwing their cash together to also get a Cavaliere Nobile to compete with Gero, but that cheap one turns out to be a lemon scam. Both guys sit devastated on the curb, as Claudy passes them by on her bike, and tells them that she is into herbal mixtures and witchcraft, and that the right mixture could be life-changing.



Meanwhile, more and more bookings of the “Eventhotel Calm Rest” are to handle, and Alex and Nick steal more and more coffins to meet the demand, and they almost mess up the undertaker business and escape catastrophes only by a small margin. Not to forget that the Hinode was now used a lot more than he could write in the logbook for assignments. And the crappy Cavaliere isn´t really usable.

After two days, the first mixture, an “honesty drink” is done, and it works just fine on the used car seller, resulting in giving back the money. But the only honest car in the price range is an old ARVA hearse… But that at least fits his business case, and as he has soon other means to get the affection of Bianca, he agrees to change the Cavaliere into the ARVA.


Claudy, spending more and more time with Nick, finally tells him the reciepe, but wanting to smuggle a hair of herself into the mixture instead the one from Bianca, but messes it up by accidentally using the hair of Gottlobs cat. When the lead singer of the garage band, Charlotte, entered for the general rehearsal with thirst, she drank the next best liquid to find - and was seen cuddling with the frightened cat soon after, inseperable and being in trance only repeatedly telling how much she loves the cat.


Nick is about to give up on anything as he is double screwed: The love drink is gone, and he won´t get Bianca into his bed - and they need a singer for their band as Charlotte is unavailable for a while, and so Claudy offers to assist. As they have no choice, as the drinks effect will fade after not less than three days, they agree despite Claudy being the most awful singer ever. With Charlottes old van, they wanted to drive to the stage, but the old Globus breaks down, so they take the hearse instead. Nicks friend and band mate Alex finally admits that a hearse would be a perfect car for a metal band.


The gig is a disaster: Their songs are now even more awful before, as Claudy can not sing at all. A famous music critic working for a successful record label is also there, at first disgusted, but then, more and more people in the audience considers the band as a clever parody, and the critics become excellent for their avantgardism and humor - and a very lucrative contract was offered.

The last scene shows a now gothic-styled Bianca hanging up a poster of Alex, Claudy, Charlotte and Nick, obviously having become a fangirl, and looking into an old book with witch reciepes, seeking for love drink instructions to get the attention of Nick. The band speeds off in a 1930s DCMW goth hearse, showing the success of the band.



THE END

Cars used by @Knugcab, @Ch_Flash, @moroza, @AndiD, @S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T, @Riley, @shibusu, @abg7, @AndiD and @DrDoomD1scord

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Herr Hippo, this is genius and makes my day several times over. And this is getting saved to my slideshow:

You make the world a better place. Bravo!

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The worst thing with this movie is that it doesn’t exist in reality and hence I am not able to watch it. I would really have enjoyed it TBH.

6 Likes