The Car Shopping Round 130 - Retail Therapy

CSR130 - Retail Therapy

What’s a CSR?
Previous Round

November, 2019. In the suburbs of Salt Lake City, Utah, USA.

Darren, late 30s, just finalized his divorce. He’s in an emotional and erratic state and looking for a fresh start. What better relief than retail therapy? And what larger purchase than a brand new car. Or even better, a brand new truck.

Darren does not need a pickup truck. He’s never had one before and he has a white collar job. But he’s always wanted one, and after finding himself suddenly single after over 15 years of marriage and the big 40 knocking on the door, he’s not going to even remotely resist being impulsive about this. The 2020 models are hitting dealership lots, and his heart says: Reinvent yourself with a new image and a new truck.


You can go a number of ways about this, Look at the current crop of pickup trucks available in the US market in 2020 as your guide. Be it a midsize off-roader fit for a MOLLE-clad tacitcool broverlander, or a 1-ton luxury limousine of a dually for the man wears bolo ties and cowboy boots to the office, or anywhere in between. What’s important is the truck needs to WOW. Appearance and first impression is everything.

He’s also the type of guy who thinks that a Honda Ridgeline or any new EV trucks are an affront to his value system. Don’t reinvent the wheel engineering something crazy. Trucks are pretty orthodox.

Should be a 2020. 5 passenger Quad cab or extended cab much preferred over a regular cab. If you want to use an SUV body and chop it into a pickup, that is allowed. 4WD is a must, AWD is not allowed.


Rules:

Very High Importance

:star::star::star::star::star:

  • Appearance

As stated, this is an impulse buy. Make him WANT the truck at first glance. The trucks may be stock or may be equipped with dealer-installed accessories if you’d like.

High importance

:star::star::star::star:

  • Engineering Realism
  • Drivability
  • Comfort
  • Reliability
  • Off-road
  • Prestige
  • Value for money

It’s his only vehicle, so it needs to fulfill the duties of an everyday vehicle, but it also is meant to impress, and can do so via off road capability, prestige, or both. While the budget (both price and ET) is large, offering good value for money is still important.

Medium importance

:star::star::star:

  • Safety
  • Fuel economy
  • Running costs
  • Environmental resistance
  • Utility

Any good modern truck shouldn’t drop the ball on these items.

Max price: 78,000 Automation Pesos
Max trim ET: 190
Max engine ET: 215
Fuel Type: 95 RON
Catalytic Converter required.

Examples

Final notes:

  • Appearance is the #1 priority here. Styling is inherently subjective so that’s going to be up to personal taste come judgement time, salt be damned. Impress me with a great design, or go crazy with a custom touches, or make a dually, or whatever you can think of. 3D fixtures are a styling game changer, and I look forward to seeing what you can do. I will be looking for what I think are the best looking trucks, not the wildest looking trucks, but these are of course by no means mutually exclusive.
  • Don’t think of the price and ET limits as targets to aim for unless appropriate for your truck. If you’re making a midsized truck it probably should be less expensive and less fancy than a top trim full size, and I will take that into account when judging.
  • Utility is a bit of a broken stat as far as I know, so while it would seem like a useful stat here, it’s not of high importance. Darren’s not really hauling much anyways.
  • While the construction of current trucks is pretty orthodox, there are a wide variety of engines found in the examples so you’ve got more freedom to play around there.

Submissions will be due in one week, at 2000 hours GMT, December 6th.

Please submit with the standard CSR format, Model and Family: CSR130 - yourname. Trim: Vehicle name. Variant: engine name or whatever you want.

22 Likes

Will this be open beta by chance, because my Rainier was built for this and I’ve put in a bunch of work…

I will be judging in Open Beta. I’m not sure how borked a stable build will be if opened in Open Beta currently, but if you want to build in stable I can open it in OB and send some pictures of how it looks there to make sure it wasn’t messed up.

Oh I am in OB, that’s why I ask because I put in a lot of custom shaped fixtures that I know will not pull in current stable

I have a hunch the cats should be of the three-way variety (either regular or high-flow).

1 Like

I don’t know how to CSS… So Prepare…

Introducing the 2020 FWM Rainier T150.

Built for the Rugged and Tough
The Rainier can be put to work whether it be for the everyday family or the hard worker.

With the 8 speed OFTRAC 4x4, the Rainier can take you where no ordinary vehicle can.

With the 7.4L V8 engine with 438hp and 480 lb-ft of torque, the Rainier can stay with the best and can tow with the best.

Built by the FWM Madlads and proudly built in the USA. Why settle for anything else? Come on in to an FWM Dealer for a test drive today.

Features


The FWM 7.4L 8v.74-ODFi engine
The 8 Speed OFTRAC 4 Wheel Drive
Advance Crash Safety Comfort Cab
Supreme Towing Package
Proven Reliability
As Shown $69300

See and FWM Dealer for more Details.

10 Likes

They probably do not have to be, unless you want to win, in which case they would have to be of either the regular or high-flow variety.

3 Likes

For the AWD with auto locker, that’s uh… not ideal as far systems go. AWD with an electronic differential is probably the best way to replicate real world systems of this time, like the Quadra-Drive II on the Jeep Grand Cherokee

2 Likes

This is more intended for balance than realism. Free reign on AWD options would give AWD entries a huge advantage on most stats. Submissions aren’t open yet so if people don’t like this, I can eliminate the option entirely and send everyone to 4WD only.

  • Allow AWD in an suboptimal setup to serve as full-time 4WD
  • Allow only 4WD

0 voters

2 Likes

AWD is out; 4WD only. Submissions are now open!

fuck CSS



INNIS WHO?

THIS IS A PROPER FUCKING TRUCK AND YOU CAN'T SAY OTHERWISE

my css breoke

its really fucking big i guess

uhhh it has 6 wheels

this is so low effort its actually fucking laughable

as low effort as the innis memes

please make them fucking stop

the memes are literally ruining good looking truck designs and its making me very sad please yang have mercy i dont know why you and your yang gang continue to make innis memes that hurt my poor soul i cannot handle this level of

i get you’re trying to make it light hearted and fun for everyone but when you spam people with INNIS captions haha look at me my big american forced meme truck it just starts getting repetitive like please save us from our sufferings already

btw my finals are next week and i should study

yeah this truck’s a proper one none of that pussyboy shit this is the real deal

car design courtesy of Speedyboi’s new design studio coming soon in i dont know china population x10^50 years

honestly as abg said you should just get a normal Custom Built its cheaper and has plenty of options and is the best selling luxury SUV in the city of Agloe, New York

i dont know people shit on me or something idk self depreciationg
yuri calliope on this goddamn mic i dont want your CSR wins i just want your mike

this is semi-satirical and is not only pointed at yang

i will keep editing this post because i can, this bitch has:

  • Custom high-strength steel custom made frame with custom body mount
  • Quezon V6 3.5 Twin Turbo stroked to 3.8-litres
  • 450hp 600nm of filipenis power refine by hapones teknologica
  • Dynamic suspension with 5 configurable modes
  • Custom tonneau cover that takes like 5 steps to remove
  • 20 inch magnesium alloy offroad rims because you need big wheel to compensate for small pinnis
  • 6 wheels because that’s 2 more inches of penis length over 4 wheels
  • 8 speed German zufthaffenfaurigdeutschlandierikapanzerkampfwagendoppelkupplungsgetsautomatiktriebe transmission that gets you almost 20 miles per gallon and supreme towing capability unmatched by any other truck with 4 wheels because this is a proper truck
  • Your top speed is limited to 125 miles per footballer abdomen muscles an hour because you will die
  • It’s named Megalodon because you’ll be running over a lot of 9000 year old shark girls in this proper truck
  • nature’s course
  • 6x6 conversion sponsored by Suisei-Bar (not really)
  • Merry Christmas you should’ve been celebrating since September

technically this is still parodying and me not being lazy to actually write CSS that works and photo edits that make the car look 200% better than it actually does but yeah

thanks for all the memes nothing beats a good meme


36 Likes

somehow not sponsored by Comet-Bar

City of Agloe, New York LMAO pffffffffffffffffffffff :joy:

SHROMET ADIRONDACK RED DAWN EDITION

THE LEFT WING MEDIA DOESNT WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS, BUT THE INNIS M1 USES A 2L TURBO 4 CYLLINDWER LIKE A LITTLE PISSBABY. THEY CALL THEMSELVES AMERICAN. ONLY THE TRUE RED WHITE AND BLUE SHROMET ADIRONDACK COMES WITH A GOOD OLD 5.7L PUSHROD V8. SAVE YOUR COUNTRY. MORE ENGINE = LESS EMISSIONS. BUY NOW.

Imgur
24 Likes

Just noticed a thing, but why the 95 RON? Pickups all run regular 91 RON or diesel.

1 Like

With the forced induction trucks, Ford EcoBoosts for example, they are rated for premium fuel and will drop to a lower-power, lower-efficiency mode if regular fuel is used. The V8 in the Ram pickup is rated for mid-grade 89 AKI but will also run a less powerful engine map if it detects lower octane fuel.

Last CSR I hosted I gave the option of either premium or regular gas with the caveat of asking people to choose the fuel type more appropriate for the type of engine their vehicle uses, and that the fuel economy of regular engines would be calculated with a bonus to account for the cost difference, but that caused a fair bit of confusion as I received a lot of high performance and turbocharged engines running on regular fuel. To simplify and avoid something like that again, I’m allowing 95 across the board.








THE MOST CAPABLE CHIEF TILLAMOOK YET

We took the Limited, and upfitted it for offroad duties, giving you a blend of both luxury and capability. A jack of all trades.

MORE FEATURES THAN INNIS INNIS

Comes with:

Bespoke off-road front bumper with skidplate and working winch

Lightweight offroad alloys

Multiway tailgate

Power retracting side steps

Adaptable air-ride with lowering capability for loading and trailer modes

7.0 Turbodiesel making power I guess

Innis “CQC” eLSD

Coal

Lots of coal

Innis


Supplementary


PS: All these jabs are for lighthearted fun - it’s pretty awesome seeing Innis stir up so much in the cool steam design game truck scene.

Also, I have no idea what other people are doing about the Innis brand I just shut my brain off and write whatever comes to mind for the low effort meme since I have virtually no time on my hands to write proper lore. But hey, sorry about them. Regardless, if it bothers you that much, you should really just ask them to stop.

34 Likes
EDELGARD

SPRINGALD SIEGE

edgy name to appeal to ages 16-47

plastic cladding to support big oil

you claim to have advanced safety but don’t even show me your seatbelts? Curious.

offroad tires and lifted suspension for visiting your favorite walmart

only midsized so you don’t overcompensate

attack ads are for proving you’re inferior don’t @ me

27 Likes

Nooooo don’t run over my shark girl, I shrimp for her!

4 Likes

New for 2020, the Staier J100 Baja. For someone who wants to look cool, but not sacrifice comfort on the trip to WalMart.

3 Likes