The way things have been going we’ll be lucky if we’re still under our own power when that happens 
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team 1'); drop table participants; --
Introduction | PreviouslySaturday, 8am-noon
Da Wei is noticably getting a bit bored after his usb full of his music was broken, and the radio stations are all junk. According to him. That is when, suddenly a yellow speck is showing on the rear view mirror, and is noticeably getting bigger, and bigger, until it can be clearly seen, that it’s the Cowys team car.
Da Wei : so. Hurtling towards us like that. It seems they want some revenge. Shall we stand by and see what they’re gonna try and want to do?
Frank: Haha. Let’s wait and see.
The yellow car keeps getting bigger and bigger, and closer, and even closer, and…… a bit too close.
Da Wei: a bit too close…. I guess their driver is just that confident then
Suddenly a silenced engine roar was heard. Roooooooooooaaaannnng. While the yellow car pulls away with all it’s might and tapping our rearview mirror in the process.
Silence…… we both looked at each other. And then bursted out in laughter
BOTH: BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Both laughed so hard until their belly hurts. They were preparing themselves for something really bad. Da Wei, still driving, could barely keep the wheel straight, so the car wobbled just a little
Da Wei: That’s it?? That was their revenge plan? That was…. Underwhelming to say the least. Hahahahaha it barely made us flinch. They don’t know what’s in here do they? The sound deadening here is amazing!
Frank : Haha. They’re still ahead of us though.
Despite us trying to keep up the pace, the Gamma gains more and more of a distance.
Da Wei: huh. Foot flat to the floor. Are we losing power? There’s no engine check li…… oh…. The engine temp is up there. We’ve been pushing this car too for too long. It’s a 40yo radiator after all. And on that case, also ourselves.
Frank: Oh, crap. So let’s take it easy for a while.
Da Wei : look it up on the GPS. any place within an hour or a bit that has good food and a place to take a nap?
Frank: There’s this town coming up, Newport. We’ll have to refuel as well so lets take a quick stop there. I can then take the wheel for a while if you like.
Da Wei : how far?
Frank: Only a couple miles. We should be there in a few minutes.
Da Wei: Sure. but for now. I’m gonna go under the speed limit for once….
Minutes later, in Newport, while Da Wei refueled the car and let it cool down for a while, Frank went to get some Pizza for them both to eat. When Frank came back, the car was already parked on the side of the gas station and Da Wei were already fast asleep on the passenger seat, but waken up when Frank came back.
Frank: Here. Got us something to eat. Let’s share it, four slices each.
A slice of pizza in hand, Frank slowly continued on driving.
Morale: +1 (+6 total)
Fatigue: +3 (+7 total)
5 Likes
Legend of Terms:
TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.
Saturday, Noon - 2pm
Weather Conditions: 68 degrees. Mostly sunny. Traffic on the highway is picking up; it’s a lovely weekend day.
All vehicles are on US101 South.
Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Any POI you can find/message me about between Eureka, CA and San Francisco, CA.
Next Waypoint(s): Bullards Beach, OR, Humboldt Botanical Garden, Eureka, CA, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA.
VicVictory:
TBDC: 110 mi OD: 709 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@Fayeding_Spray
TBDC: 112 mi OD: 818 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: This team is now in California.
@Madrias
TBDC: 92 mi OD: 619 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Seal Rock. Brake repair is complete and issue is resolved.
@BobLoblaw
TBDC: 57 mi OD: 768 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +0 Notes: Team has stopped for an hour for food and rest at Harris Beach State Park, a few minutes after noon.
@CriticalSet9849
TBDC: 109 mi OD: 675 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Refueled in Coos Bay, OR. Car’s terrible comfort is starting to wear on the team.
@BailsMackenzie
TBDC: 104 mi OD: 754 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: Team has refueled in Sixes, OR.
@TheBobWiley
TBDC: 109 mi OD: 759 mi MRL: -1 FTG: +1 Notes: The car has developed an intermittent but significant misfire and a SES light.
@DeusExMackia
TBDC: 91 mi OD: 718 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Alternator repair is complete.
@HighOctaneLove
TBDC: 124 mi OD: 752 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach
@strop
TBDC: 92 mi OD: 776 mi MRL: -10 FTG: +3 Notes: Left front ball joint fails, leading to a crash. No injuries on the team, but the car is undrivable. Overall Morale at the end: -2 (Crashes are scary)
@stm316
TBDC: 120 mi OD: 780 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: None.
@JohnWaldock / @Sillyducky
TBDC: 103 mi OD: 715 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@abg7
TBDC: 119 mi OD: 699 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Team has refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@rileybanks
TBDC: 125 mi OD: 756 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach.
@koolkei / @FrankNSTein
TBDC: 114 mi OD: 834 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: Team is feeling fatigued. Team is now in California.
@Rk38
TBDC: 111 mi OD: 646 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullard Beach. Team has refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@Nomade0013 / @ramthecowy
TBDC: 110 mi OD: 839 mi MRL:+0 FTG: +3 Notes: Team is now in California.
@SkylineFTW97
TBDC: 97 mi OD: 704 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Team has refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
The following cars are within visual range or in a pack:
None.
Team Greasy Lightning
(a few miles past Bullards Beach)
Jen sniffed at the air, trying to ensure herself that something terrible had indeed replaced the smell of ocean air. She was then aware that Fuzz was rustling around in the back seat.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Making a sandwich. I’m hungry,” he replied.
“A sandwich? With what? We didn’t bring any sandwich fixings.”
Fuzz scoffed. “You went to college, I’m sure you had to make up food out of random stuff.”
“Well what the hell do you have?”
“PBJ. Sorta.”
“Sorta?” she was almost afraid to ask.
“Granola bars for the bread. A couple packets of jam I took from the hotel this morning. And this jar of peanut butter stuff that those Aussies gave us.”
Peanut butter? She thought a moment too late.
Fuzz bit into his “sandwich”. His eyes shot wide and his entire face puckered up. Yet he still chewed it, and forcefully swallowed it.
“Oh god, it tastes like vulcanized butthole!”
Both Jen and Rick looked back at him in astonishment.
“What?” Rick choked. “How do you…”
“No, don’t ask,” Jen interrupted. “For God’s sake, don’t ask.”
Despite the obvious culinary pain he was suffering, Fuzz took another bite.
“Dear God, what’s wrong with you? Stop it!” Rick snapped.
“But it’s free food!”
Rick snatched the jar from Fuzz’s possession. “Vegemite. Oh you poor idiot…”
Fuzz finished off the last bite.
“… I stand corrected. You masochistic idiot…”
8 Likes
#Team ‘Southend or Bust’
Original Post - Previous Post
The story so far: With the alternator broken, the boys have been held up in Coos Bay. Thankfully however, the best student mechanic on the planet (probably) is here to help them…
The clinking of the ratchet stopped, and Martin took his head out of the engine bay. “Alright Seb, fire her up”.
The 1.6l i4 rumbled a bit, paused, and then burst back into life. All three of them cheered.
“Good job mate” said James, patting him on the back. “I’ll buy you something as a present”
“Nah, nah, we need to get on the road” Martin replied, but James was already running into the petrol station shop.
A few minutes later, he came back out again with a plastic bad and a grin on his face.
“What have you got me then?” Martin said sarcastically. James handed him the bag.
“Ahh” Martin laughed, uneasily, “Ha ha, Blueberry Pancake Corn Dogs. Very nice, thank you”
“Well we had to get something weird while we were here” said James, chirpily.
“I supposed we did”
“What about lunch though?” Seb asked.
“Good question my man” James replied, grabbing a cool bag that was next to him. “I have leftover chicken, mayo and salad sandwiches!”
“Goddamit man you are good” said Seb, taking his. Having had chicken drum sticks for dinner last night, James was not going to let any of the remainders go to waste.
And with that, they hit the road once more.
.
With no one else in sight now, they presumed they were probably in the middle of the pack. Still, that didn’t matter; they had the windows open, the Pacific to their right and a proper American road to blast down. And even if the Merna wasn’t a speed machine, they could still get up to an incredible speed of 55 mph.
BIG UP EVERYONE THAT GET’S THAT REFERENCE
And once again, their soundtrack wasn’t half bad either.
“I’m telling you, this is most amazing drive I’ve ever done” said Martin, now behind the wheel again.
“I’m with you there” said James. They soon forgot about the hold up in Coos Bay; this was turning into a properly amazing holiday for them.
“Can’t say these corn dogs are very nice James” said Martin.
James pretended to be offended. “What? American food that isn’t nice? Shocking!”
“Well some American food is nice” said Seb. “The chocolate bars, sorry, candy bars here are nice”
“But come on, the cuisine is terrible in the grand scheme of things” said James.
“Oh no, are you about to go food snob on us?” said Martin.
“Yes I am Martin, yes I am. How can a country with access to so many food types and so many people living in it come up with such trashy food?”
“Well, hang on, you cooked us that Jambalaya a few months back and you said you loved it?”
James paused. “OK, the majority of American cuisine is rubbish, but food from the deep south is quite nice”
“Come come James, are you suggesting you of all people don’t like a proper cheese burger?” said Martin.
“Er, no” he retorted “I’m saying I like my burger to be a proper English pub one that’s been made with actual cow innards and not processed meat from some factory farm”
“It still tastes good though, doesn’t it?” entered Seb.
“No, no, I’m sorry, American cooking doesn’t have anywhere near the finesse of European cooking or the excitement of Asian food or the warmth of Afro-Caribbean stuff”
Martin and Seb paused, and then started laughing.
“What?” James replied, getting a little hot under the collar?
“You sound like you’re in some fucking cooking show or a food magazine!” said Seb, smacking the map against the dashboard as he laughed.
“Well…” - James was blushing now - “Maybe that’s what I want to do with my life”
The other two stopped. “Wait, seriously?” said Seb.
“Yeah” said James, as though it should have been obvious. “I’d love to be a TV chef”
“Wow” said Seb, surprised. “That’s quite a nice ambition”
“Seriously, I would. I love cooking and I love showing people how to cook”.
“Good for you man” said Martin.
It was weird how well they knew one another and yet how little they knew about another too. If you met James, you wouldn’t guess in a million years that he wanted to be a celebrity chef. He may well have fitted the typical description for a lad, but there was far more too him than that.
6 Likes
Team BAGS
Brian’s notes for this leg:
Having made it to Bullards Beach in one piece, we are increasingly confident that we will finish this trip. Morale is now at an all-time high. En route, we heard a disturbing rumor that another team has crashed out. Amy suggested that it was due to a suspension failure, but until we discover the crash site, we’ll never know for certain. On a more positive note, refueling went ahead as usual, with no problems at all.
2 Likes
Team: Clutch Droppers
Day 2: noon-2pm
Traffic begins to pickup after leaving Brandon and the two-lane road is making it difficult to pass. After our encounter with team FFC we are bound determined to drive the car into the ground in an attempt to gain some ground back today. A little while outside of Brandon we were cruising along the 101 waiting for a gap in oncoming traffic so we could jump ahead a few cars. There was a beige 80’s land-yacht traveling a solid 15mph under the posted limit that we HAD to get around. Finally, a break in the traffic and nice long stretch of road with no blind corners, we went for it.
BANG, BANG, sputtering noises
Bob: O god, what now? Misfires??
Ryan: I bet that flame attack did a bit more damage than we thought. Probably a fouled spark plug or two, the air filter might be done for as well.
Jason: Please don’t tell me it’s going to kee…
BANG!!
As the car finally passed the little old man driving his beige behemoth the car shuddered and misfired again
Bob: We are gonna have to stop and get that checked out… but I really want to get to Eureka before we stop, we need to make up some time from all the stops this morning.
Jason: This is going to drive me in…
BANG!!, more sputtering
Bob: At least we are maintaining highway speeds.
Day 2: ~2:30pm
Bob was driving aggressively down the 101, looking for any chance to pass that he could.
Bob: Do you guys smell that? It’s that damn Fart team, we must be catching up to them. I bet they got stuck in traffic, serves them right.
As we come around a bend in the road, stuck behind a slow moving vehicle we saw a grave site, the Flaming Fart Cannon’s super hot hatch was embedded in the dirt off the side of the road. The entire front left side was destroyed and obviously hit the dirt at speed. It looked as if the car had tried to dig itself a shallow grave.
Ryan: Such a magnificent car, it was too young…
Bob: Tearing up a bit You maniacs… you blew it up!! Damn you!! God damn you all to hell!!
Luckily the entire FFC team was standing off to the side mourning the loss of their car. Jason grabbed one of the few remaining beers in the rear of the car, opened the back window, and poured one out for our fallen comrades. Then Bob slammed the gas pedal as an opening appeared and with a vicious misfiring, shot off away from FFC whom just looked up and saw us passing them.
Bob: Well, maybe that was a good sign, maybe it means we are destined to prevail!
Ryan: Or it means all these crap cars are on their last legs and we could be next…
Bob: Nobody likes a pessimist…
Ryan reaches over and pulls the aux cable from my phone and plugs it into his.
Morale: +12 (Morale decreases as car begins misfiring)
Fatigue: +2 (No stops)
9 Likes
Team Riot UnControl
#Saturday, Midnight - 6am
While Paul is having a good snooze, Aaron is having some problems feeling comfy.
But one trip to the minibar later fixes this problem.
#Saturday, 6am - 8am
The Phone was ringing in Paul’s room.
“Mrgh…” Paul hides in his sheets while the phone is getting louder and louder.
“MRGH”
Suddenly the music stops.
“Finally…”
A loud bang comes from the door
“GOTT VERDAMMT”
Furious Paul gets out the bed and tramples to the door.
With a fast swing the door opens.
" WAS !"
Aaron was standing on the other side, still wearing his suit.
“Get dressed, we have to move.”
30 mins later both brother meet at the car.
“Hey it didn’t got stolen !”, Paul mentions.
“Yes, I know. I am also disappointed” Aaron adds.
Both get in the Car and drive off.
#Saturday, 8am - 10am
“So where is the next checkpoint ?”
“It is,” Aaron looks through multiple papers " ‘Seal Rock’ "
“OH OH” , Paul starts to jump up and down in his seat " I hope we can see some seal ! I like seal, they are cute"
“We are here to do a race”
“But seals !”
“PAUL”
“SEALS”
“FINE, do whatever you want !”
“I want seals…”
#Saturday, 10am - noon
The team is casualy driving on the highway.
Paul notices something in the rear mirror.
“Is that a cop car ?”
Aaron turns around “Seems like it. Just get on the other side of the road so they can pass you”
With that the boat changes lane and so does the police vehicle.
"Ummm, it is still following "
“But why ? Are you driving to fast ?”
“Well the gauges say…” Paul was cut short by the sound of a siren turning on.
"YOU IN THE PURPLE SALOON, TURN OVER"
“FUCK” both said
The car slowly drifts on the hard shoulder and stops. Behind it ,the police cruiser stops.
“I have seen this on YouTube Aaron, just play along !”
“What is your plan ? "
There was a light tab on the glass. The Policeman was standing next to them.
Slowly the window rolls down.
“Do you know why i stopped you ?” the cop , who looks like the came straight from the 70’s , asks
" AM I BEING DETAINED ?!” Paul screams , visibly frighten.
After this sentences follows a smack from Aaron.
“AUA”
Paul hold his head.
“Sorry Officer, he is a … um how do you tell in your language? umm ah, an Idiot”
“I can see that, Identification and Registration” the cop says without moving an inch.
“Ohh yes yes !” Aaron says and searches for the papers.
“Where is the Registration Paul ?” Aaron whispers to his driver.
“The what ?”
“The Papers”
“Well you see…”
“YOU ARN’T SERIOUS ARE YOU?!”
“Is there a problem ?” the cop says
“Well,” Aaron starts talking " We don’t know where the papers are. Sorry"
“I see. Could you too please get out the vehicle” the policeman nods to Paul
“Yeah sure.”
Paul leaves the vehicle and gets instantly cuffed.
" WHAT THE FUCK "
His face is getting pressed on the softtop.
“You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions.
Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.
If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish.
If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney.
Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?”
“WHAT HAVE I DONE”
" You are wanted for Grand Theft, Spoliation of evidence and driving without a valid registration. You, Yellow suit stay in the vehicle, you are going with him"
Just minutes later both brother where sitting cuffed in the back of the cruiser.
“If i could strangle you, i would you know”
“I forgive you to Aaron”
" WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT"
"SILENCE " the cop ordered them
“Next time i buy the car” Aaron adds.
With that the cruiser heads to the next police station and
the car gets put on a flatbed and moved to a impound.
“Yeah and that was our vacation”, Paul says while putting his beer down.
He was sitting i a pub, at a table with other people around him
“And how did you tow not go to jail”, one of the friends ask
Aaron comes back from the toilet.
“Well we told them everything we knew and they dropped the charge for Grand Theft. They still found enough stuff in the car to use as evidence. But we had to pay the ticket for driving without registration”
“Well, then everything went sorta okay ?” another person asks
“If you don’t add the money and time spend on the car, i guess”
"You gonna do another tour again " the same person asks again.
Paul and Aaron both look at each other.
With a smile Aaron answers:
“Yes. Totally ! But next time i get a car”
9 Likes
Team Mountain Pass
Saturday, day two, 10am to 2pm
It seems I owe Kyle an apology; this Bogliq sure can eat up the miles! I started the day with fire in my eyes and lead in my feet. I wanted to taste the sweet scent of victory over Team Fart Can but it turns out that it’s rather pungent and cloying! I asked about the “flame painted hatch” at our midday fuel stop and he said they’d been there an hour ago, but the lingering stench of gastric distress still hadn’t left the immediate area of pump 6 where they refuelled!
Powering along the highway searching for my prey really buoyed our spirits; we were making great time! Then I saw it. The black, flame scarred Corolla of Team Fart Can! It was on a tow-truck with the LH-front wheel and suspension pushed back against the body work at a horrific angle… They were out! We didn’t stop. No time. I steamed onwards, feeling a hollowness inside, my rivals vanquished by fate, not my hand, but my desire to win still intact. Undeterred I planted my foot into the cheap carpet and the Ambassador vanished into horizon!
Distance travelled this session: 243 miles
Distance travelled so far: 749 miles
Team Morale: +2 (+15 total) The vengeance demon has been sated and replaced by steely determination to win!!!
Team Fatigue: +3 (+3 total) 6 hours virtually non-stop means that the interior of the Ambassador is getting kinda small…
8 Likes
Extra bonus points for @TheBobWiley for his appropriate use of Amazing Grace on the bagpipes.
5 Likes
On one hand: nooooo! Toothless!!!
On the other hand: oh thank God, I don’t know how much further I could have taken it before descending into behaviour with permanently canon altering consequences…
Now to prepare the Viking funeral…
10 Likes
##Team Twin-Snail
With the Aquarium stop completed, the rear brakes fixed in record time, and a target locked, the poor Maesima NL-992 of Team Routed that had breezed past them while Luke was busy with the brakes on the car, team Twin Snail got into their dark midnight-purple Minerva and started the engine.
“Scott, fitting music if you please.” Luke said, reaching under the dash and hooking up the OBD-II end of the cable. The DB-25 end was screwed into an adapter, and the 50-pin adapter was connected to Luke’s main input/output header. For Luke, he saw a wealth of information about the car, but what he was mostly looking for was the TCM, so that he could over-ride the automatic and force the car to do what he wanted for once.
As they cruised out onto the road, Luke gave the transmission over-rides a try, forcing the line pressure to full, then bang-shifting the car into third, skipping second. The car lurched fiercely, snarled, then began quickly accelerating.
“The hell, Luke!?” Linda grumbled from the back seat. “Why do you have to do that?”
“I’m in full control now. That was just a test.”
Soon after, Scott had the perfect song blaring on the radio.
It didn’t take long for the old Minerva to be breaking the speed limit again, as they now had the ability to slow down in the event they actually needed to do so. As a result, they hurtled around the highway at speeds exceeding 80 MPH, making up time. The weaving between lanes started again as Luke squeezed the Executive Land Barge that was the Minerva Midnight into spaces most people wouldn’t have tried to fit a Fiat 500.
Aftermath:
Car: Seems repaired. Overrides in place for maximum performance gain without trying to kill the car.
Team: On the road again, with Luke driving like an android with a mission.
MRL: +16 (+1) “Good brakes = good speed.”
FTG: =0 (+2) “Must you really drive like that, Luke!? You nearly ran that car off the road!”
6 Likes
3/4 of the Bamford team will be devastated once they find out that the GG team is out of the running, only because the naive youth in the team have yet to be on the receiving end of Strop’s backside.
And I was so eager to see where you went from there. (secretly hoping for bank robbery or something)
Gonna be away until my Sunday so I’ll update Team Bamford then, after all, we’re only taking a fuel stop, What could possibly go wrong?
5 Likes
TEAM OUTRIDERS
(Blake is chopping up leftover vegetables for more stir fry)
Blake: These beets are made for wokkin’ and that’s just what they’ll do.
One of these days these beets will make a stir fry out of you!
Are you ready beets? Start wokkin! (while chopping) Ba da da da bum ba da da da bum…
Luigi: He really gets into it doesn’t he?
Marc: His fault for marrying someone who burns water.
(The team sits down to lunch and rests)
Luigi: Can we afford an hour delay?
Marc: Well, there’s no sense pushing if we end up killing ourselves. Besides, I think there’s only a couple people ahead of us.
(The team returns to the road)
Luigi: That looks like one of the other teams.
Blake: Damn, looks like they swerved off the road. Probably some failure in the steering.
Marc: I’d almost forgotten about the chances of breakdown. Now you just keep on running Missy!
Blake: Missy?
Marc: That’s the cars name.
Luigi: What gives you the right to name the car?
Marc: Because I don’t drive it like a senile octogenarian!
Blake: And why was I not consulted?
Marc: Because I thought of it first. Besides, I’m the one with a gun remember?
Blake: Right.
Luigi: Ah, the gun. Total compensation.
Marc: Go ahead and get lippy. I got a taser back home that would love to meet your balls.
Luigi: That’s abuse of police property!
Marc: Not if I get the Chief’s position.
Blake: What was that?
Marc: Hayes is retiring, and I’m throwing my hat into the ring.
Blake: Aren’t you up for retirement in two years?
Marc: Yup, and that’ll pad my pension nicely. Provided I get the job.
Luigi: You will, there’s nobody alive who can suck a promotion out of a cazzo better than you.
4 Likes
Saturday 8-10am
Wookiee: That was exciting…not. I’ve seen fish before.
Bill: Well, I thought it’d be nice to have a look. Besides, weren’t there that long.
Wookiee:
Saturday 10-12 (Approx 11:45)
Bill: Coos bay? What kind of name is that?
Toni: Who cares. Just find somewhere to fill up. Then I’m taking the wheel for bit. You drive like your mother.
Bill: What’s wrong with driving like my mother?
Toni: Nothing, if you’re in a goat-powered buggy. She once took 15 minutes to drive you to school.
Bill: What’s so bad about that?
Toni: It was a 10 minute walk! I’m itching to get some speed on.
------ 10 minutes later----
Bill: Why were those people asking me about the guys in the little black car? How would I know who it was?
Wookiee: Here’s a clue. It had flames on it.
Bill: Flames? Are they ok?
Wookiee: Painted, you idiot! It was that riced up old corolla. That Kai bloke is a nutter.
Toni: He’s the one that ripped a handbrake turn between the trams in front of the Queen Vic market in Melbourne.
Wookiee: Sounds about right.
(Toni turned the Model 60 into the McDonald’s on Broadway.)
Toni: After this, we move. I’ll show you how this thing should be driven.
6 Likes
Team Bamford
(I’m meant to refuel at Sixes, but the nearest petrol station is 5 miles away at Port Orford, so I’m gonna refuel at Sixes anyway.)
The small rural town of Sixes came into view and Phil eased the big boat off the road and into the parking lot of the local post office.
“Why are we stopping here?” asked Simon
“We’re buying fuel” replied Phil
“But this place looks abandoned, there aren’t even any pumps in the forecourt!”
“Doesn’t matter, we’re buying fuel here”
Phil walked into the post office, flanked by Jason, who assumed stupidity on Phil’s behalf and started talking first.
“We’re looking for a place that sells fuel, know of anywhere nearby?” asked Jason
The lady behind the counter smiled “Yes dear, just five miles down the road, in Port…”
“No” interrupted Phil, who suddenly took on this mysterious presence of power.
“We’re here for fuel”
“B-b-b-ut we don’t sell fuel” she stammered back
Phil lowered his sunglasses “We are here to buy some fuel”
The lady looked nervous “Bud! Come out here now!”
Her elderly Father walked into the small room, commanding a presence more powerful than Phillip’s.
“These men want to buy fuel, but we don’t sell any”
Phil smiled one of those dirty Cheshire cat grins and lent onto the counter “We are here to buy fuel”
Bud stared him down.
“Erwin Baker told me that you sold fuel”
His expression changed instantly from anger to suprise “This way please” he said while he gestured to a door near the back of the building.
“Ring up some fuel darling” he said, guiding the duo through the doorway.
The light flickered on in the small garage at the rear of the building and they were instantly met by the angry shape of a 1970’s Dodge Challenger coated in a mean red paint job and some drag tyres that’d make a road roller jealous, as the boys drooled over the car Bud produced a trolley carrying a 44 Gallon drum of “Road Fuel” and they headed out to the car park to fill the Bamford, much to the confusion of Ken and Simon.
The deal done, money exchanged and the red Bamford rolled slowly out of the car park and onto the main highway.
“What was all that about?” asked Jason
“We did a deal with a devil” replied Phil
5 Likes
Legend of Terms:
TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.
Saturday, 2pm - 4pm
Weather Conditions: 72 degrees. Mostly sunny. Traffic on the highway is significant along all points; midday on a wonderful weekend day.
All vehicles are on US101 South.
Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Any POI you can find/message me about between Eureka, CA and San Francisco, CA.
Next Waypoint(s): Bullards Beach, OR, Humboldt Botanical Garden, Eureka, CA, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA.
VicVictory:
TBDC: 122 mi OD: 831 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: None
@Fayeding_Spray
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 931 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Notes: Waypoint completed: Humboldt Botanical Gardens. Team has fueled up in Eureka, expecting a long period to the next reasonable fuel stop. Team is feeling fatigued.
@Madrias
TBDC: 112 mi OD: 731 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Bullards Beach. Refueled in Coos Bay, OR.
@BobLoblaw
TBDC: 105 mi OD: 873 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint Completed: Humbold Botanical Garden. Team has refueled in Eureka. They have spent much of this leg stuck in traffic.
@CriticalSet9849
TBDC: 119 mi OD: 794 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: Team is feeling fatigued.
@BailsMackenzie
TBDC: 117 mi OD: 871 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Notes: Waypoint Completed: Humboldt Botanical Gardens. Car’s poor comfort is wearing on the team. Team is starting to feel fatigued.
@TheBobWiley
TBDC: 89 mi OD: 848 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +0 Notes: Waypoint Completed: Humboldt Botanical Garden. Team has stopped for some rest, fuel, and to diagnose their issue. Repair will be completed shortly into the next time period; it’s a bad coil pack, and one was among the spares in the car.
@DeusExMackia
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 831 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: Team is starting to feel fatigued.
@HighOctaneLove
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 865 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: Humboldt Botanical Gardens. Team has refueled in Eureka.
@stm316
TBDC: 114 mi OD: 894 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Notes: Waypoint completed: Humbold Botanical Gardens. Refueled in Eureka.
@JohnWaldock / @Sillyducky
TBDC: 114 mi OD: 715 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +5 Notes: Team is starting to feel fatigued.
@abg7
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 812 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: None.
@rileybanks
TBDC: 109 mi OD: 865 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Notes: Waypoint completed: Humboldt Botanical Gardens. Car’s lack of comfort is starting to wear on the team. Team has refueled in Eureka.
@koolkei / @FrankNSTein
TBDC: 104 mi OD: 938 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Notes: Waypoint completed; Humboldt Botanical Gardens. Team is feeling fatigued.
@Rk38
TBDC: 100 mi OD: 746 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: None
@Nomade0013 / @ramthecowy
TBDC: 102 mi OD: 941 mi MRL:+1 FTG: +4 Notes: Waypoint completed: Humboldt Botanical Garden. Team has refueled in Eureka.
@SkylineFTW97
TBDC: 114 mi OD: 818 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: Waypoint completed: None.
The following cars are within visual range or in a pack:
None.
Team Greasy Lightning
Not doing dialogue again this time, just actions/feels for this rather quiet section.
Jen: In the passenger seat. Puts on a song and leans against her husband.
Jen’s song for Rick
Rick: Amazed at the giant Redwoods flanking both sides of the highway. Happy to be here with the love of his life.
Fuzz: Wanting to puke. Badly. Between the sappy music and the vegemite “sandwich”, life isn’t so good for him right now.
9 Likes
##Team Twin-Snail
Linda looked at the race-provided GPS, not so much to see where they were, but where their opponents were at. “Looks like we’re good, Luke. We’re kinda far back, but with your recent development of aggressive driving, we’ll start catching some of them.” Linda said, raising her voice to get above the growl of the V6. “Though it looks like we’re going to pass a team really soon. Should be an old JHW truck of some description.”
“I got a surprise for 'em.” Scott said, giving a malicious grin as he finished the last of a big bag of Jolly Ranchers. As they passed @JohnWaldock and @Sillyducky’s team, Scott rolled down the window on the old Minerva Midnight, then let the bag of candy wrappers fly. It tumbled through the air, then hit the front end of the truck and exploded into a shower of candy wrappers.
“Nice fuckin’ shot!” Amy yelled, seeing the multi-colored burst of candy wrappers in the mirror. “Better than a sticker-bomb!”
Luke simply nodded, then said, “I want to pass that bloody Maesima. Pass us while I’m changing brakes, I’ll pass them.” With that, he gave the gas pedal a bit more of a shove and the engine responded in kind, giving an angry snarl and dragging the car up to speed again. The fuel light flashed once as what little gas was left in the tank sloshed backwards away from the fuel pump, and the engine gave a hiccup of hesitation as a result, mercifully sloshing the fuel back to the pump.
Amy looked at Luke, then said, “Gas station. Now. We won’t catch the Maesima if we run out of fuel.”
“I ain’t pushing the car this time, Luke. I had to burn my shoes when you made me push the barge out of the sand pit in the 'Runner.” Scott said.
“Fine. We’ll get gas. And you three, go get something as a snack, but be quick about it, because if you’re not back in the car when I’m done filling the tank, I’m leaving you behind.” Luke said.
They swerved wildly off the road into the gas station at Coos Bay, Oregon, the car being switched off at the pump and gas being pumped rather quickly as Linda, Amy, and Scott ran inside to get chips, soda, beef jerky, and another couple boxes of snacks.
With a full tank paid for and everyone back inside, they hit the highway, leaving a single stripe the whole way out of the gas station, halfway up the road where there was a bit of a skip in the line, and for about half a block further as they picked up speed.
Luke took note that they were still ahead of the old truck, and as a result, made sure not to let up on the gas. They had another target in mind, the old Maesima, which, if trends held out, would be passed by the next 2 hour segment, or maybe, at the worst, in the next 3 hours.
“Luke, looks like we’ll be within passing distance of Team Routed in… Maybe two hours, give or take about 15 minutes.” Linda said, confirming what Luke had thought.
“We’ll make sure they know we passed 'em.” Luke said, tapping the ashtray door. “There will be no way to ignore it.”
Aftermath:
Car: Running fine. Refueled.
Team: Restocked, resupplied, and ready for their next malicious mission.
-Scott is proud that his trash-bombing went so well.
-Luke believes they’ve set their new highest speed at 114 MPH in this leg.
-Linda is laughing like crazy because the image of the candy-wrapper explosion is stuck in her head.
-Amy is just wanting to make up time.
MRL +17 (+1) - One man’s trash is another man’s nightmare.
FTG +3 (+3) - Even the most comfortable chariot can bruise the bottom.
5 Likes
Team: Clutch Droppers
Day 2: 2-4:30pm
After passing the gravesite of team FFC, Clutch Droppers was emboldened to win, but the constant misfiring was wearing on everyone’s nerves. A few hours later, as we approached Eureka, CA, the team could take no more, Ryan grabbed the wheel as a NAPA auto parts came into view off to the left of the car. He jerked the wheel sending out car over the curb slightly and turning us onto the road heading toward the NAPA. He did not relinquish his grip on the wheel until he had steered the car into the parking lot.
Bob: What the hell, you could have killed someone!
Ryan: I can’t take that noise and jerking anymore, we are going to fix the damn engine here and now.
Jason: Oh thank god, I was about to throw myself out of the car.
Bob: Fine, fine, Ryan, give me a hand with it. I think it’s either going to be a bad spark plug, made the air filter… could be the actual coil pack.
Bob and Ryan pop the hood and remove the engine cover. They begin taking the spark plugs out one-by-one and checking for burn marks signaling a bad plug. Jason whips his phone out and dials his girlfriend.
Jason: Hey babe, how’s it going?..
Jason: Yeah, I just got back from the interview this morning, I think it went well, they want me to check out another site on the other side of town later tonight. I don’t think I will be back tomorrow, probably at least another day…
Jason: Huh? No, I am not with Ryan or Bob… You can hear their voices??
Jason puts his hand to the microphone.
Jason: Shut the hell up, she can hear you.
Ryan and Bob give Jason an evil look.
Ryan: In a high pitched voice Oh baby, come on, just a little more!
Bob: Also high pitched You got more money? Our hour is almost up!
Jason: Glaring at Ryan and Bob, starts to walk away Sorry, there are some weird assholes in the hotel lobby, I’m heading up to my room… Yes, it’s a weird part of town…
After Jason disappears around the corner Bob and Ryan get back to work. It does not take long before they find the coil pack to be the culprit. Luckily on these 90’s cars it only took two bolts to remove. We actually even had a spare coil pack with us so the replacement took almost no time at all.
Jason comes back around the corner.
Jason: Is the car fixed?
Bob: Yeah, just a bad coil pack, I am going to go ahead and blame it on team fart cannon, as well as anything else that goes wrong from here on out.
Jason: Well get in the car, I am driving… We have a little stop to make.
Bob: Umm… Ok…
Jason hops in the driver’s seat for the first time during the trip and readjusts the seat and mirrors, messing up the perfect positions I had for everything. He fires up the car and as Ryan and I close our doors pulls back onto the road. He takes an immediate left turn… and then another.
Bob: Where are you going, this is the wrong way?
Jason: Just wait, I found something after I walked away.
Directly behind the NAPA store we pull into a small driveway that looped around a tiny shack in the middle of the lot. The building had a small sign, Bikini Brews.
Bob: What is this?
Jason: Oh, you know, a coffee shop…
Bob: You don’t drink coffee… and neither do I… why are we here?
As the car rolled up to the small shack’s window a bikini clad women appeared in it.
Women: Hello, welcome to Bikini Brews, what are you having today?
Bob: In my flirting voice Well hello to you too, I will take the largest coffee you have… black.
Ryan and Jason both stare at me.
Ryan: I will as well.
Jason: None for me, thanks.
Women: Sounds great, please pull around to the window on the other side!
Bob: Wow, did you see her?! This place is amazing, I love the West Coast!
Jason: Why did you order a coffee??
Bob: I had to look manly didn’t I?
Ryan and Jason both roll their eyes.
We pull up to the other window and are greeted by another women in a bikini, even more stunning than the first.
Bob: Well hello there, how are you doing today?
Women2: No bad, it’s a lovely day today. I hope I can get out to the beach after work.
Bob: Oh really, I love the beach… when do you get off?
Women2: Handing the drinks to Jason We close at 5:30pm, most of us go over to the beach right after work if you guys want to join us.
Jason revs the engine hard before releasing the brakes, spinning the tires and throwing up some tire smoke. The car is back on the road before Bob has time to curse out Jason for leaving while he was chatting up the lady. Ryan takes a picture as we turn away to torture me later with.
Bob: What the fuck man?? She was totally into me!
Jason: If I can’t check out the babes, no one can… plus, we have a race to win.
Ryan sits quietly, trying not to laugh at my suffering and drinking his coffee.
Ryan: Hey, do you want your coffee?
Bob: Give it here!
Bob grabs his coffee, rolls down the rear window and throws the full cup out.
Ryan: What the hell, that was perfectly good coffee!
Bob: I lost my appetite…
Jason: Looks like we need some gas before we get back out of town.
Jason pulls into a gas station near the edge of town to refuel. Bob and Ryan hop out and wander into the small convenience store at the station, grabbing a few light snacks and drinks for the next leg of the trip. Jason downs an entire can of mountain dew while waiting for the gas pump and takes stock on how many cans are left… not enough, never enough. As the car pulls back onto the road it’s finally Jason’s turn at the music selection. His bass heavy taste shows the weakness in the crappy old car speakers, throwing out tons of distortion.
Morale: +14 (Morale increased because we fixed the car and saw some bodacious babes)
Fatigue: +2 (Stopped for gas, fixed the car, and grabbed a snack)
6 Likes
Team BAGS
Brian’s notes for this leg:
En route to the next waypoint, we checked our maps and discovered two points of interest which may be worth visiting. In Eureka, we will visit the Sequoia Park Zoo. Further south, we could then stop at Westport-Union Landing State Beach off Highway 1. Taking a breather at either of these locations could turn out to be helpful in the long term… In fact, going to the zoo seems quite fitting considering that we already visited the Oregon Coast Aquarium.
As for the drive, except for the dense traffic, it’s just another Sunday afternoon drive along US 101, with nothing untoward for us to report. We are still as confident as ever of reaching the next waypoint.
2 Likes
----Saturday 12-2pm----
After grabbing their lunch, team Mr Hankey launched out of the McDonalds car park. Bill hadn’t put his seat belt on, and was thus almost launched out of Mr Hankey.
Bill: AAAARRRRGGHH!!!
Toni: I told you that we were going to get a move on.
Wookiee: Ha!
Toni: You too, country boy. I never used the brakes in the demolition derby, so find yourself a “Jesus Handle”.
Bill: A what?
Wookiee (turns to Bill in the back seat): A “Jesus Handle”. For slightly scary parts of the ride. I’ve seen Toni drive, I suggest you listen. I’m just hoping this thing came with an “OH FUCK! bar”.
Toni passed a turning car down the right hand side, effectively cutting the other driver off.
1:59pm
The brown bomber had been rolling along on the end of a line of traffic for about 5 minutes when they saw a pair of guys arguing on the side of the road. Bill wound his window down in the hopes of hearing what was going on. All he could make out was something about “airtime off the kerb”. Whatever had happened, it wasn’t too long ago, because only one other driver had stopped to take photos with their phone.
Saturday 2-4
Bill: Was that the corolla?
Wookiee: Did it look like it? Not many other cars with those rims running around this part of the world.
Toni: Of course it was and although it means we won’t get to chase them further down the highway, it does mean one less challenger. Which brings us one step closer to victory.
Bill: I thought we were here for the fun.
Toni: Do you call being stuck behind a bunch of slow moving yank-tanks fun? We need to move.
Toni pushed the pedal and the tacho climbed to 3000 as she made a run for the space 3 cars ahead, barely missing tail to tail contact with the car in the opposite lane as she pulled out, then slowed back to 80.4672 km/h. (stupid miles, WHY?! just go metric already.)
“Tack-tack-tack-tack-tack-tack-tack” said Mr Hankey… for the 8th hour straight.
Toni: turned into the parking area of Courthouse Union in Eureka, one of those NAPA parts places.
Bill: Why have we stopped, they don’t have petrol here. There’s a 76 a few hundred metres down the road!
Toni: I know that, stooge, but I need to find something. There’s this stuff… oil additive that is supposed to reduce lifter noise. It won’t fix it, but it’ll shut this bastard up.
Wookiee: OI!
Toni: Not you, stupid. This car.
Bill: Thank the Lord for that. I’m sick of this happy-pop shit on the radio. You guys won’t let me put any music on.
Wookiee: For the umpteenth time, ITS AN 8 TRACK PLAYER!
Bill flings the cartridge at Wookiee, who catches it and looks at the label. His expression says it all…
(I think the noise is getting to the team.)
6 Likes