Team Shift Happens
Notes: Characters were resized to more human sizes from previous appearances.
It’s 2016, and four not-quite-so-human friends have gotten it in their heads to take on a junkyard rally in shitbox cars.
The car of choice?
A 1989 Bricksley Familystar EX 1.2, with a turbocharged 1199cc I4 that they picked up for £14,300.
However, the Familystar is a family sedan, not a good offroader, and the team members are not exactly inexperienced in running junkyard trash. After throwing some fairly basic mods at the car, and a few not-so-basic ones, team Shift Happens has turned the old Familystar into, well, it’s still not a good offroader, but it’s better.
Modifications Done:
-Suspension has worn out, softening the springs. Lift Blocks were installed to maximize the ride height.
-Cheapest knock-off beadlock rims were purchased and wrapped in hard-long-life 80-series truck tires.
-Someone painted the brake calipers with Twin Hearts Racing EyeGrabber Orange. They, however, remain the factory single-piston brake calipers.
-Rear differential swapped with one from a 4x4 pickup truck, gaining a locking rear differential.
-Skidplate added to protect the belly of the car. (Offroad Skidtray also selected in Aerodynamics)
-Rear parcel shelf ripped out to allow easier access to the trunk from inside the car.
-Roof rack fitted.
-Trunk rack fitted.
-Lightbar and spotlight installed.
-Loudspeaker and Public Address system installed.
-CB radio installed, plus antennae.
-Driver Rear Passenger Door has inner skin replaced with '91 model. (Adds armrest with non-functioning power window switch)
-Hood replaced with GT V10 trim hood. (Twin hoodscoops, decals)
-All headlights replaced, though with whatever random bulbs and lenses we could find.
-Rubber-clad bumpers installed. License plate crudely screwed into front bumper, rear plate hanger at angle.
-“Shift Happens” stickers applied to trunk lid and front fenders
-Number “44” painted on driver’s/passenger’s front doors.
Equipment Carried:
-Extra large box of air-sickness bags (Glovebox)
-Four spare tires (Trunk/Interior)
-Two bottles of Propane Gas (Trunk/Interior)
-Four badly-battered cardboard boxes containing tents (Trunk/Interior)
-Six fuel cans (Trunk/Interior)
-12 volt freezer chest for food storage (Trunk/Interior)
-“Neverstart” brand 12 volt car battery (Roof Rack)
-Toolbox containing basic tools (Roof Rack) (Contents: Metric and American socket and wrench set, 500 count bag of zip ties, two rolls of duct tape, spark plug sockets, flashlight with half-dead size ‘C’ batteries.)
-Oxy-Acetylene welding cart (Roof Rack)
-“Karbonizer 214G” Propane-Gas camping grill (Trunk Rack, Hard Mounted)
The Team:
Notes: Ages given in native years (Earth years). All ages rounded to the nearest whole number. For reference, all characters, despite their age, are middle-aged for their kind.
Driver:
Rukari Khakrin-Veldrothan
-Race: Aetheriian Tiger Valraadi
-Age: 97 (148)
-Appearance: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds of muscle, has a tail as long as he is tall tipped with black, venomous quills, dark gray fur, black stripes, black lion’s mane, black ear-tufts, demon-like rearward-curved horns on his head, orange feline eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger.
-Past experience: A junkyard circuit race (24 hours of clunkers) and his time as Grundzahiri Vyrzadoburi (literally translated: “ground warriors” and “Violent Walkers of Death” in his native language. Think of them as special forces.)
As the only member of the crew who knows how to drive a manual gearbox, even if he brings a few odd quirks along for the ride, Rukari was assigned the role of driver. This son of an Empress (No, that is not a joke, he actually is) has no clue about offroading in a vehicle like this, however, as most vehicles where he is from steer from the rear axle, drive from the front axle, and usually only have a two-speed gearbox, not a four speed gearbox driving the rear axle while the front axle steers. He’s had enough time to figure out driving on Earth, but really doesn’t like doing so.
Mechanic:
Kaylie Lynn Grayson
-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 67 (102)
-Appearance: 5 feet, 8 inches tall, 150 pounds, athletic, with snow white fur and black stripes, a shiny chrome mechanical left arm with black painted stripes matching her natural pattern, and blue eyes, with the general appearance of a bipedal walking tigress.
-Past Experience: A junkyard circuit race (24 hours of clunkers) and a junkyard road rally (Once More), alongside her time as a starship mechanic.
Kaylie’s had the crash course in maintaining internal-combustion cars, and she’s more confident than she used to be about fixing them. She doesn’t let her injury hold her back, having adapted remarkably well to her mechanical left arm, so much so that she’s nearly ambidextrous at this point. She’s just glad that this car isn’t another Sinistra Traville, as she feared dealing with another worn-out old Sidewinder V6. She was, however, caught completely off-guard by the tiny turbocharged I4 in the Bricksley which introduced her to two “new” technologies to learn: Carburetors and Turbochargers. Needless to say, she’s keeping her “Carburetors for Dummies” book on standby.
Medic:
Kayden John Grayson
-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 67 (102)
-Appearance: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds of muscle, snow white fur and black stripes, blue eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger.
-Past Experience: A junkyard circuit race and a junkyard road rally, plus his training as a Panthirian Warrior.
Normally, Kayden would leave the healing to his older brother, Jaden, but Jaden doesn’t get along with their navigator at all. As a result, Kayden became the field medic, a position needed for their team because of Rukari’s unusual biological differences. All of them have seen the Valraadi’s dark blue blood eat through chrome-plated steel in seconds, and all of them have witnessed how easily Rukari bleeds when cut, courtesy of his twin hearts. Should his services be needed, things have likely gone quite badly, but with luck and skill on his side, no one will die if he can help it.
Navigator:
Malavera Caller-of-the-Moons
-Race: Orthrian Khalan
-Age: 51 (357)
-Appearance: 6 feet tall, 350 pounds of broad-shouldered, twin-headed muscle, with pure white fur, cold amber eyes, and the general appearance of a two-headed, bipedal werewolf.
-Past Experience: Not crashing his moon-sized starship, “Forsaken Sky,” on the way to Earth.
Malavera is joining the crew for the first time as their navigator, after having watched, from a distance, both of the other events. Despite his lack of practice, his ability to both read a map and watch the road means he’s still quite capable of getting the crew where they need to go. He is an exile from his home planet, not generally friendly or outgoing, though he’s not likely to leave someone stranded should they require help. He dislikes having his name shortened, but generally, it’s far safer to call him “Mal” than it is to call him “Vera.” The last person who called him Vera found out what it’s like to be kicked by someone who normally lives on a world with 3.5x Earth Gravity. If the car manages to get any significant air, Malavera’s likely to need the stockpile of air-sickness bags stuffed in the glovebox.
Pet:
Spots
-Race: Leopard
-Age: 3 (3)
-Appearance: Your average, run-of-the-mill leopard wearing a blue collar.
Spots happens to be Malavera’s pet, and he’s 170 pounds of pure laid-back lap cat despite being a wild animal. No one quite knows exactly how Malavera tamed a leopard, nor why Spots chooses to stay with the huge wolf, but what is known is that while dogs may be man’s best friend, Spots the Leopard is Malavera’s best friend.
The Story So Far:
(A warning: These tend to get a little long when I do them. Buckle up, because it’s going to be a long ride.)
Kaylie smiled as she saw the ad for the “Krongrad or Bust” junkyard car rally. Promising to “un-shit their summer,” one which had all of the crew in a bit of a funk, Kaylie clicked the link and downloaded the entry form.
She sat at the table and called the rest of her crew together, a crew which included her twin brother, Kayden, as well as two good friends of theirs, Rukari and Malavera. “We’ve got a challenge,” Kaylie announced. “Fruinia to Archana, in cars with 1.2 liter engines or smaller, two-wheel-drive only, and the cars must be 2.5 meters or less in wheelbase.”
“What’s the budget?” Kayden asked.
“£15,000 for the car, up to £2,500 more to modify it. £1,000 in reserve for gas, repairs, food, and so on,” Kaylie replied.
“Age range?” Malavera inquired.
“1946 to 2016. And no, your '09 Sinistra Traville won’t work for this. One, it’s too big, and two, the engine is way too big. We’ll need a different car.”
“I go looking,” Rukari said, only to be grabbed by both shoulders and forced back into his seat.
“No, we’ll all go looking,” Kayden said. “We need a car that’ll fit all of us, and you, my friend, have a knack for trying to find trucks, not cars.”
“Yeah, we don’t want a truck here. Less-than-liter engine and short wheelbase required on that. We’d be lucky to get up to speed with that,” Kaylie said. “Let’s face it, none of us are light.”
“How long’s the trip?” Malavera asked.
“Says it’s supposed to take 8 weeks. Two months on Earth,” Kaylie replied.
“And how long do we have?” Kayden asked.
“About a month to buy and modify our car,” Kaylie said.
“Skadu vi!” Rukari exclaimed. Malavera immediately responded with a sharp smack to the back of Rukari’s head, prompting a pained yowl.
“Don’t think I haven’t been learning your language, Rukari,” Malavera replied. “You want to swear, use English.”
One Week Later
When Rukari turned up with their car, at first everyone was okay with the choice. Then something quickly became apparent to the group.
“Why does the gear selector have that funny pattern on it?” Kaylie asked. “Why are 1, 3, and R on top, and 2 and 4 are on the bottom?”
“Aw, fuck,” Kayden said with a grimace. “Rukari, this is a manual gearbox! None of us know how to drive that!”
“Is not hard,” Rukari replied. “Push clutch, half throttle, pick gear, release clutch, car goes. When change gear, push clutch, stick in middle, clutch out, clutch in, stick in next gear, clutch out. When go down gears, then things difficult.”
Malavera sighed. “Rukari, I know it is hard, but slow down. When you’re excited, you drop half of your words and some people will think you’re uneducated.”
“I still speak Anglass better than they speak Valraad,” Rukari replied.
“It’s ‘English,’ Rukari, not ‘Anglass.’ Just slow down a little,” Kaylie said. It was, admittedly, one of Rukari’s faults or flaws, that when he tried to speak quickly, either he dropped words or he’d use a few words of his native language and then no one knew what he was saying. Well, other than Malavera, who seemed to pick up on Rukari’s swearing habit and was determined to at least make him swear in English.
“So, it’s a 1989 Bricksley Familystar, with the turbocharged 1.2 liter inline 4?” Malavera asked. “Interesting car. I believe this model was made for export only, that it uses a cut-down inline 6 turned into an inline 4 to get around Fruinian tax regulations.”
“Don’t change the subject, Mal. How are we going to race this car if none of us can drive it? Unless you somehow learned how to drive this weird gearbox and-” Kaylie said, before Malavera interrupted.
“No, I never learned this. But Rukari drove it here, so clearly he understands it. So, he’s the driver,” Malavera said.
“Well, the sheet said we needed a mandatory driver and a mechanic. If we have 3 people, that third person is the navigator. Four means we have options,” Kaylie said.
“I’ll take navigation,” Malavera replied. “That means you’re the mechanic and Kayden, well… What do we put him in as? I’d say “floater,” but that’s used as a term for an unflushable turd, so that’s hardly appropriate.”
“Write me in as a medic,” Kayden said. “If Rukari gets cut, he bleeds heavily, we’ve all seen that. Plus, we’re talking two months away from civilization as we all know it. Let’s face it, a lot can go wrong in two months.”
“Fair enough. Anyone got a team name?” Kaylie asked.
“Shift Happens,” Rukari said.
“You know, that’s almost funny,” Malavera said. “It’s got my vote.”
“Fair enough. ‘Team Shift Happens’ we are, then,” Kaylie mentioned.
Two Days before the Krongrad or Bust rally.
“Have we got everything?” Malavera asked, getting into the passenger seat of the old family sedan. Rukari dropped himself into the driver’s seat, wearing a heavy stab-resistant bag around the end of his tail for everyone’s safety. Kaylie took the seat with the power window, only to groan when she found out it didn’t work and Kayden had already buckled into the last remaining seat. Between Kaylie and Kayden was a huge leopard, sitting on the seat with his front paws on the center console.
“I think so. Would be better if we didn’t have this guy in here, though,” Kayden replied, motioning to Spots.
“As much as I trust Kivenaal to watch my ship, I don’t trust him with Spots. I don’t need to come back from two months of rally vacation to find my cat weighing 300 pounds and being unable to walk,” Malavera replied. “Kiva spoils the poor beast.”
“At least we won’t have to worry about thieves,” Kaylie replied. “No one’s going to be stupid enough to steal from our car, at least. Not unless they want to be chased by a leopard, two Tigrilans, a Valraadi with a knack for dangerous missions, and a Khalan bounty hunter who prefers dead over alive.”
“Not sure car is entirely stable with roof rack,” Rukari said.
“The springs are shot, Rukari. The whole car’s going to feel like it’s wanting to fall over, but it won’t,” Kaylie responded.
“Quick supply check?” Kayden asked.
“Fine,” Kaylie said.
An hour later, the checklist was complete, and Team Shift Happens was ready.
(And OOC: Sending the car files now. I’ll edit this if anything comes up, but I really wanted to get this out there. And yes, I’m fielding a team of fur-covered aliens because aliens. Also, yes, I do have a lot of Rukari’s language created. Not enough to properly hold a conversation, yet, but enough to get almost-there.)
