2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!)

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Well, considering we had one of the few gateways between Earth and Crugandr… Flight’s pretty much a non-starter. We were the first to drive through the Rift, and while people have flown starships through there as part of faster-than-light travel, an airplane would have had a very hard time making it through doorways. Likewise, we were the first to drive through the Rift, so someone getting there before us in that way is… unlikely.

It is possible that she was brought there by a group of mystics known in story as “The Walkers of Destiny,” who bring heroes in to solve problems. But it’s then likely that she’d also have been given a quest to carry out while here in this world.

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On the other hand that is something that could spice up the story…

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RK Series Racing; Stage 5 Camp

As they arrived at camp, the team took a few minutes to cool down from six hours of blazing-fast driving.
“Okay cool, Connor can drive the everliving hell out of it, but neither of us know how to drive your contraption. Yet…”, Tim comments, in a good mood but mildly annoyed that he didn’t get to drive what was legally his car for three days.

“I’m not stopping you from ruling over your vehicle… i never did. So if you need ‘training’, then i can do that. Up until now it just was agreed upon that Connor would drive simply because he is a better driver than any of us.”, Valentin explained.

“In that case…”, Tim replied, turning to Constantin. “Ro-shambo on who gets to drive first!”

Constantin wasn’t exactly fond of those child-games at this point, but relented into joining the trial, ending up winning Paper vs Rock.
“Good ol’ Rock ain’t gonna cut it, boy… my turn.”, Constantin smirks, as he climbs into the driver position of Robert. Valentin joins in next to him in the Fireman’s seat and ensures appropriate boiler conditions before starting what little training there was to do. Tim also wanted to listen in and climbed aboard in back, leaving Connor outside for the time being.
“So. This basically works like any other car. The ignition now is the whistle switch, but other than that the controls act as normal. You’ll have heaps of torque from a standstill, so you could as well chuck it in 3rd or 4th, release the clutch and put your foot down…”, Valentin explains, as Constantin takes a look around, finding nothing out of the ordinary on his half of the car, save for a multitude of plunger-type switches on the dash. He follows instructions and selects 4th gear, takes his foot off the clutch and slowly weighs down his other one, adding more and more “throttle” in the process. Just before it reaches the floor, the car starts rolling.
“Yeah in 4th it takes a lot of cutoff to get the thing going, but once it rolls it has a lot of power.”, Valentin adds. “I haven’t touched the brakes at all, so they work as normal. Just keep in mind that the car is heavier now.”

The Tangerine Tank Engine takes a few laps around camp, effectively parading Valentin’s work for everyone to see. A few minutes later, it comes to a stop back where it set off from, followed by Constantin and Tim swapping seats.

The process repeats, although Tim uses 3rd, granting more substantial acceleration at the cost of smoothness and noise. As they came back around once more, a pair of known figures were waiting already, curious about how “Robert” actually works.

With the first insights given, they headed off again, this time into Raiegarda, where they plan on getting some much-needed supplies to accommodate the changes made to the Anhultz. The first stop was at the local train station, where they procured the locations of subsequent steamworks along the route of this race. This would allow for more intricate maintenance to take place with professional help as well as free up room to make additional improvements and optimizations, some ideas for which were already floating about Valentin’s head. The other stop was a general store, where they procured a Tent for Valentin to sleep in, now that the car’s interior definitly was too tight to sleep in. Sadly, this was the only tent they had as Tim was starting to get tired of car-camping as well. Buying a bicycle for emergency use also was out of question for now, as they simply did not have enough space to store it.

Mildly disheartened, they head back to camp, with Janne already there, waiting to see the creation they made.

to be continued

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For implication’s sake. I will imply that she was given a quest, and that happened to be carried out in Crugandr of all places.

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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude
PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!
PART 2.1 - D. Head
PART 2.2 - Good night!
PART 3.0 - Freeway Rockstar
PART 3.1 - DISCO TJO DISCO HEJ
PART 3.2 - Van-Werewolf 1-0
PART 4.0 - Calm after the storm
PART 5.0 - Mirror mirror on the…oh, crap!
PART 5.1 - Hello, little puppies!
PART 6.0 - Speed
PART 6.1 - GIMME OXYGEN! (feat. Madrias)

PART 6.2 - Steamin’ hot! (Written in co-operation with @Elizipeazie)

"DAMN!", Janne shouted when the Tangerine tank sprinted away without a chance for him to catch it. He returned somewhat disappointed to the other team members.

"Can’t you just sit down and relax? What’s wrong with you?", Andreas asked.

"I tried to get a look at the Tangerine tank", Janne answered. "You remember when they had a breakdown at the road? Appears like they solved it by converting it to steam power."

"You must be kidding", Marie said. "How are you supposed to be able to fill up your gas tank with steam?"

"Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to talk to the two of you anymore…", Janne said with a sigh.

After what seemed like eternity for Janne, the Dione returned, and once again he was running towards it. With eyes big as saucers, he was staring at the (now steam powered) Tangerine Tank. He was slowly getting closer but had a hard time believing his eyes. “You guys…did a…steam…conversion of this thing?”, he said, almost breathless. Seeing him like this was far from a common sight. It only happened when he was totally blown away by something, and he had seen a lot of stuff in his days, so to happen it required something special, to say the least.

With “Robert” having come to a stop, Constantin climbed out of the driver’s seat, startled by Janne directly next to the car, who was intensely staring at it. He didn’t really get anything he previously said as the steam conversion, while quieter than ordinary steam engines, still was a noisy motherfucker compared to what the Dione sounded like under internal combustion. This wasn’t helped by Valentin in the front passenger seat, who was in the process of shutting off the car, sending a number of loud steam hissing noises across camp as he did so.

"Need help?", Constantin asked, not sure as to what Janne wanted.

"Hrm… Hello Mr Schrant.", Janne answered almost ashamed of himself. Now he came back to reality a bit. "Nah, I just heard from Kivenaal that you had done a steam conversion of this to get it moving. And… I am just blown away. Stuff like this is what I like. You know, I’ve got a 1967 Saarland Kardinal that I sometimes have had the idea to convert to wood gas but…that’s just dorky compared to this. Wow. Tell me everything."

Valentin and Tim found their way out of the car in the process, standing on the far side behind it from Janne’s perspective. Establishing direct line of sight was no problem to either of them, especially Valentin, being the tallest of the team by quite the margin. Constantin turns around and slaps the roof of the car. Or at least what little space is left of it from the rudimentary roof rack.

"I think someone needs some insight into whatever you did to this thing.", Constantin spoke across the roof to the other side.
"You’ll need to be a bit more specific in your questioning to get quality answers." Valentin answered. "As it stands, our ignition went bust and this is the best i could come up with…"

Valentin knew very well what he did, but explaining it all is a tough ask with zero guidance, especially given how long it took for him to properly guide his workforce at the steamworks.

"Well…to start with, where did you even find the parts to do this conversion?", Janne asked, a bit puzzled. He really didn’t even know where to start. "Sure, we’re in a steam powered world now. Maybe Shift Happens are having some good contacts?"

"We are apparently following some major rail line of this place. And with steam locomotives for traction comes steamworks dotting the lineside for maintenance of them things. They had everything i could ever dreamt of in this context and even offered up 30-something people to help build the thing.", Valentin explained, himself mildly confused at how they could have missed massive trains doing triple-digit speeds. In some places even right alongside the road they themselves were driving on.

"Team Shift Happens helped us out by towing our car to the first workshop. Or… steamworks i guess. The rest is all Val and the locals from there", Tim blurted, walking around the rear end and joining the others on the driver side, leaving only Valentin on the far end.

"Yeah, as I said, we are in a steam powered world now after all", Janne said and nodded, “so there is maybe no struggle in finding either parts or knowledge if one just knows where to look”. Janne was a bit jealous though. He wished that it was himself that had been coming up with this idea, maybe even before the race start. Steam powered pink van, now that would have been something. Well, even better without the pink. In his imaginary perfect world someone would probably have locked Marie inside a cage at zoo or something. Also, he wish he would have found those good places too, instead of just finding rocks ripping up oil pans and tyres. "And…it is really a conversion of the Anhultz engine from internal to external combustion as I have understood it, so there is no doubt that it is a conversion, right?"

Valentin at this point just walks around to the driver side, carefully shoving the others away to make room for the driver door to open. He then pops the hood release and goes back around to the front, propping the front-hinged hood with the appropriate support rod.

"Well the original block is still in there, serial number and everything. We had to do some real… adventurous stuff to some components to allow for self-starting of the thing, but it seems to work", Valentin replies, taking a look into it himself, which wasn’t the brightest of ideas given the sheer mass of haircut now dangling within the engine bay. He quickly corrects this with a graceful swing of his head, sending his near-white blonde hair down his back instead.

When Valentin popped the hood Janne could not hide his excitement. He checked things through and through, taking notice of every little detail. He didn’t say a word for a very long time, being too concentrated on the new version of the Tangerine Tank’s powerplant. When he had studied it in detail long enough he had a question to ask.

"I hope that I am not being too demanding now, but man… Do you mind giving me a test drive on some later occasion? I don’t want to go home from here still curious about how it is to drive a steam vehicle, haha."

"I mean the car legally isn’t mine anyway, so yo…", Valentin started, before being interrupted by Tim halfway through his sentence. “There’s no point in me keeping what effectively is some other guy’s lifetime achievement, now is there?”, Tim spoke, breaking into Valentin’s train of thought. “If you’re cool with him driving your car, then so am i.” Valentin took a hot minute to adjust to the fact that he just casually had been gifted “Robert”, thus promoting him to team leader as well. “Erm… as long as you don’t crash it then sure, i guess…”, he continues, still flabbergasted by the sudden promotion and change of ownership. “Though we better do it soon, as the chance to do so won’t last all too long.” The latter half sent confusion into Tim and Constantin. Both of them knew that Valentin was up to something regarding Robert. Though neither of them dared to ask just yet.

"This is a Dione, like if anyone would notice if it crashed into something", he replied. “Or…maybe you want to give Marie a test drive of it instead?”, he continued and laughed.

The lack of a sense of humor in Valentin shows:
"The thing probably weighs more than two metric tons like this. They are overbuilt to shit, but ramming it into a tree at 70MPH will be noticed…"

Neither of the other crew members got the joke either, as, while they knew Marie as a person, they did not know her driving.

"So, another question while I am at it… Constantin…how did you end up here of all places?", Janne asked with a bit of confusion in his voice.

"Am awaiting a promotion and have about 4 months to kill.", Constantin replies, rather stoic. "They only do the ceremony once a year so i’ll have to wait until then. Got better stuff to do while i’m away from work."
"Met each other on Read-It and figured i might invite him along. Some… okay, a lot of military prowess seemed useful given what was known at the time…", Tim added, knowing that his idea paid off big-time as soon as the Dyre-Fight was underway and he got the best of four of them via impeccable archery.

"I see…", Janne said, still sounding somewhat confused. "Oh, well, now the idiots over at the pink van is shouting something. Probably Marie got her foot stuck in a toaster or something. Not that we brought a toaster with us but that would not stop her from that…"

"Well we’ll see you around then. As per the drive, we can discuss that next morning, i guess?", Valentin suggested. "Or do you want to set something in stone now? Well… when you are done with whatever that is you are doing over there."
He was vaguely motioning towards the IP van while he finished up, followed by him closing the hood of the Steamer again.

"We’ll discuss that in the morning I guess. Removing a fat wreck from a toaster can take some time", he grumbled.

"Bye, then." Valentin replied, followed by the other three wishing their fare-wells.

Soon after, the team goes about setting up camp, now consisting of two tents instead of one, while Janne returned back to the Hillbilly rollers camp.

"What the fuck are you shouting about?", Janne asked. "Marie, have you gotten your foot stuck in a toaster or what?"

"No", Marie replied.

"So then what is all this about?", Janne asked.

"Andreas says that the only difference between me and a monkey is that I don’t have a tail!", Marie complained.

"Why do you even listen to that? You know very well that it is bullshit!", Janne answered with a slightly annoyed tone.

"Now hear that, Andreas!", Marie said.

"Yes, because I actually looked at Animal planet once when they said that monkeys were actually pretty smart creatures, so there is more differences than just the tail", Janne said with a sigh. "Now, stop fighting about all kinds of unnecessary crap or I will use the teleporter to send the two of you to the moon!"

TO BE CONTINUED

(OOC: Yes, I am scrapping my old format. It worked back in the days where my posts most often contained only interactions between team members, but it feels too weird to write in that style while interacting with other teams too)

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Team Shift Happens

Previous Chapters:

“Here Comes the Hound of Death” - Stage 2 Campsite Battle - Written by Elizipeazie, TheYugo45GV, and Madrias.
Fright Night Forest Stage - Stage 3 Run / Stage 3 Camp
The Free Day - Stage 3 Camp (written in collaboration with Elizipeazie) (Part 1), (Part 2), (Part 3)
Safe Arrival - Stage 3 Camp (Written in collaboration with TheYugo45GV)
The Rescue - Stage 4 Drive and Stage 4 “Camp”
The Rebuild - Stage 4 “Camp” (Written in collab. with Elizipeazie ) (Part 1), (Part 2), (Part 3), (Part 4)
“It’s 6-Fucking-Moon!” - Stage 4 Camp
Breakfast with RK Series Racing - Stage 4 Camp Final (Written in collaboration with Elizipeazie)
Cinnamon and Apologies - Stage 5 Drive and Stage 5 Camp
An Apology / Campsite Stories / I Have Gas! - Stage 5 Camp (Collab with Knugcab - Original Title: “Gimme Oxygen!”)
The Prank - Collab. with SurrealCereal (Team MCP)

(Thank you to @Elizipeazie for collaborating on this with me.)

Raiegarda Campsite, Around 8 Sun

With Janne taken care of and the tent-pitching underway, problems started to arise. While Constantin made good progress on what worked for him, Valentin seemed to have very obvious issues in setting his new purchase up. The fact that any form of instructional material was not provided did not help matters at all. In the few minutes it took Constantin to set up his quarters, Valentin achieved next to nothing, turning a neat pile of ropes, poles and cloth cladding into a messy bundle of equipment.

Jayde looked across the camp and saw Valentin was having some trouble with his tent. He stood up slowly, grabbed his staff out of the dirt where he’d stuck it again, and made his way over to offer his assistance.

“Valentin, do you mind if I help you out with this?” Jayde asked.

“Was gonna ask as well, but the struggle was too fun to look at.”, Constantin chuckled as he watched Valentin finaggle with ropes and pegs.

“Won’t stop you…”, Valentin relented, not really knowing who was speaking. Having expected a more intuitive design of tent, he gave up trying to do it alone, though 1920s era equipment hardly was intuitive, regardless of what it was.

Jayde nodded, before carefully sorting out all of the tent’s equipment and trying to show Valentin how to do things so he’d be able to set up his tent in the future.

After a few minutes of mildly fighting with the tent, even though he was experienced with it, Jayde had Valentin’s tent set up and looking proper. “Being a hero isn’t easy,” Jayde admitted, “but now you know that as well.” When he looked at Valentin’s camping gear, however, he noticed that while he had Kaylie’s spare sleeping mat, he was missing a sleeping bag. He shrugged his camping backpack off, unrolled the bed-rolls at the top, and pulled one of the smaller ones out of the bundle, rolling the remainder back up. “Here, you may as well have one of mine. It’ll be a little big for you, but, it’ll keep you from getting too hot or too cold in your tent. I’ll just use one of my others for now.”

Kaylie wandered over, looking curious. “Ah, tent problems?” she asked. “I understand that one myself. I’d show you the scar, but… Well, it’s high up on my right hip. Plastic tent pole came loose and whipped me a good one,” she admitted. “Anyway, you need any help, or have any questions, just ask one of us. We’ll try to help.”

“Well thank you, i guess…”, Valentin shrugged, placing the sleeping bag within the tent, still rolled up for now. Anything being too big for him was an uncommon discovery, but a slightly oversized sleeping bag was substantially better than a substantially undersized one.

“I don’t do much in the way of camping… getting anything big enough for me is a massive headache so i just don’t bother most of the time…”, Valentin added.
“Speaking of questions, there is a thing. Are we mandated to use the route that is drawn on the map?”

Jayde smiled as Valentin mentioned he didn’t do much camping. “I’ve done more than I’d care to admit, honestly,” Jayde said. “And I can understand getting things in the right sizes can be a pain.”

When Valentin asked if they had to use the route on the map, Kaylie thought on it for a moment. “I don’t think we do, but let me go check with the guy who set all this up,” she said, before running over to Rukari, asking him something, and getting an answer. She ran back over to Valentin and said, “No, Rukari says that as long as you make it to the camp-sites, the route you take doesn’t really matter. Staying on the main path makes it easier if you need a rescue, but as far as getting to the campsite goes, if you think you’ve found a faster or easier route, go for it.”

Valentin started grinning ear-to-ear upon hearing that the route was not mandatory.

“What is goin’ on inside this guys head?”, Tim asked, not really expecting an answer from anyone.

“I think we need to visit some other steamworks along the way again.” Valentin blurted out, still excited about his prospective idea.

The reply was simple and came in unison from both Tim and Constantin: “Why?”

It took a minute for Valentin to collect some thoughts before he started explaining his plans: “We’ve been going along those roads for the better part of a week now. We all know how crappy they are. Gravel, rocks, tight turns and the like. We’ve been following what apparently is the mainline of this country… region… whatever. They have trains running over 100 miles per hour there! Imagine the time-saving and comfort of not having to endure whatever they call a “road” by simply going with the best solution. A train!”

The other team members obviously had problems grasping the scope of what Valentin is planning, failing to come up with any follow-up questions as to how exactly he would achieve such a thing.

Kaylie stared at Valentin for a few seconds after Valentin mentioned the best solution was a train. “Wait, you’re going to make a road/rail vehicle out of the Dione?” she asked. “It’s crazy, but brilliant, and seeing as you made a steam engine out of it already, I think that just might work.”

Jayde looked over at the car, mentally picturing it as having a set of wheels front and back to ride on the rails, then said, “I think it would be doable. I know they did some tests a while back pulling some small-wheeled cart along behind a Longitude Express locomotive. Once they were sure the wheels could hold up, they pulled a volunteer along behind them. From my experience, you’ll want some suspension, because even though those rails seem smooth, if your axles are rigid to the frame, well… It’s a rough ride.”

Kaylie thought for a few minutes about it, then said, “I brought extra springs for our truck. I knew the five of us were heavy, wasn’t expecting a sixth, but also I knew we had a lot of stuff in the bed and on the roof. So… I brought two sets of coil springs and shock absorbers for the front, and two sets of leaf springs and shock absorbers for the rear.” She studied their roof rack for a moment, then said, “I think you’ve got enough room up there that I can ratchet-strap the boxed springs down to your roof rack. Or we can carry them another stage for you. Your choice.”

“Suspension is an obvious thing if we actually want to make up time that way and not trundle along at 15 miles an hour. I don’t know how exactly trains evolved here, but in the UK, even the earliest scheduled services had suspension.”, Valentin commented.

He then started thinking about the offering of the Bricksley springs and the way he could use them as a means of keeping Robert level while on rails. Not being able to come up with an idea on the spot, he decides to put those on hold and figure something out later.

“Not sure as to how well they’d work, especially in dampening in correlation with hunting oscillation with whatever wheels we end up with. At least we won’t have to deal with hammer-blow given lack of weight and the way our existing drivetrain works.”, Valentin added while respectfully nodding at Jayde and Kaylie for helping out. Or at least trying to for now.

Kaylie nodded. “Not a problem, we’ll hold onto them for now.”

Likewise, Jayde gave a respectful nod. “If you have any future issues with the tent, don’t hesitate to ask me for help. It took me a while to learn how to set one of those up.”

The two of them headed back over to the Bricksley, with Kaylie chuckling as Malavera came over to the truck after his long swim, fur absolutely soaked with water. Jayde simply said, “Don’t you dare shake that off by us.”

“Wasn’t my plan. Please tell me you haven’t used my towel to clean up oil,” Malavera said.

“Nah, it’s still in the vacuum-sealed bag you stuffed under the front bench,” Kaylie said.

Malavera opened the truck door and pulled the bag out, trying not to drip all over the inside of the truck as he opened the bag, producing a nice hiss moments before he pulled a towel free. Working quickly to get all the water out of his fur, Malavera dried off enough that he wasn’t dripping wet, then sat near the campfire to let his fur finish drying.

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O…K…

Now this is going to get interesting… :rofl:

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Anyone open for conversation in RP?

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Hmmm

Seems two members of our team would be avaiable after checking out Tangerine Tank.
Klimentol and Chicota, to be precise - i really havent defined where they are or what they are doing in camp

This would also be opportunity to interact with one more team as well.
Could imagine that talking dog such as Klimentol would be interesting sight
(Chicota is robot, but his appearance doesnt indicate that, meaning he would have less of shock factor)

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one of my teams would be interested in that talking dog

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RK Series Racing; Stage 5 Camp; Part 2

This post was partially written by @Knugcab

After getting the green light on route choice, the remaining afternoon and evening was spent doing nothing of particular interest.
Valentin went about starting work on how one could make the Dione fit onto rails, while Tim tried his hand with archery using Constantin’s equipment, which failed spectacularly due to both a lack of strength and not being left handed.

Sometime later, they made some dinner and headed into bed.
They generally slept well, up until about 8 moon the next morning, when Janne walked over to the place where the others set up camp.

Janne had hardly been asleep that night all over the excitement that Team RK had “promised” (well, at least that was what they had done in his mind) him to test drive the Tangerine tank. At 8 moon he thought that they must have gotten enough sleep, and was storming away to their camp. It seemed like nobody was awake yet which was somewhat disappointing to him.

“Hello…someone awake?” he tried a bit hesitant, but it seemed like he got no reaction.
“Ehhh…WHAT THE FUCK, WAKE UP, IT IS MORNING NOW!!!”

Constantin, as always, was the first to react to the inconsiderate shouting from Janne. He crawls out from under his tarp, looking at him.
“You couldn’t be any louder now, could you?”, he grunts, visibly annoyed at being forced out of bed, even though it wouldn’t have taken too much longer for him to naturally wake up anyway.
Not much of note happens within the car, but some rustling can be heard coming from within the tent next to it.

“Yes I could but it felt rather unnecessary”, Janne said, smirking.

Constantin fumbles around a bit and pulls out the local pocket watch that Jayde gifted to him previously.
“It’s 8-04 moon… Some people are trying to sleep…”, Constantin spoke. He had little issue with getting up early, though past experience told him other people did.

“Well, do you remember that you…OK, sort of but still…promised me a test drive of the Tangerine tank? We need to do it in the morning while we’ve still got time for it, right?”, Janne said, looking a lot like an 8 year old that had found a huge Lego set under the christmas tree at around the same time (converted to earth hours) in the morning.

“First off, i didn’t promise anything. Val said he has no issue with you driving the thing. Second, yes… it’s morning, but he has a hard time getting out of bed, especially if forced to earlier than planned. Do with that what you will.”, Constantin explained, as he crawled the rest of the way out from under his crude shelter.

“Really? You couldn’t have waited like… another hour or so? It’s still pitch-black.”, Tim added.

“With your occupation, you should know that there is nothing like “getting some more sleep” when there is important stuff to do, right?”, Janne said to Constantin and nodded.

“You are aware that the others are NOT military, right?”, Constantin replied.
At this moment, the tent opens up, with Valentin basically flopping out of it into the dirt surrounding the area. At this stage, he very much looked more like a zombie than a human.
“There you go. Zombie Valentin… good job.”, he added, motioning at Valentin. Tim got out of the car, now awake enough to function as well and was worried about Valentin because of the almost comatose state he was in.

“So, you’re awake now Val? That was about time”, Janne said. “Do you remember that you promised me a test drive…or…at least sort of, yesterday? Can we do it, I don’t know, like…now?”

“Huh?”, Valentin moans, lifting his head and some of his hair out of the dirt, now looking at Janne. He looks very confused, as he hasn’t understood a single thing. “Give him at least 20 minutes if you want him sort-of functional.”, Constantin said, increasingly annoyed at how much Janne was forcing the drive to happen despite the owner and crew not being ready. “Yeah… he’s a sleepyhead… he won’t touch Coffee with a 6 foot pole… maybe he should.”, Tim added, now rather amused, since Valentin was not in immediate danger and the zombie-like behavior was funny to look at.

“Oh”, Janne said a bit surprised. “Shame I didn’t know about it then so I could have woken him up 20 minutes earlier.”

“Would’ve been faster if you had a little more patience, actually… Ripping that guy out of his sleep cycle doesn’t help him at all, as you can see.” Constantin commented, also mildly surprised. He knew that Valentin wasn’t a morning person, but it getting exponentially worse the earlier he is forced to wake up also was new to him.

Valentin took a look around, trying to make sense of what is happening, before leaving the tent entirely, wearing only what in effect is a pair of short sweatpants. It turns out that Valentin did not take 20 minutes to get his brain going a bit, but he obviously wasn’t happy at all.

“You really want that drive, don’t you…”, Valentin groaned.

“Yes, of course I want to”, Janne said a little bit surprised. “It should not even be a question to be honest, I have never seen a steam powered car before, much less driven one.”

“I am much more surprised that neither Andreas or Marie seemed to have even the slightest interest in it. What the fuck is wrong with them?”

“And that justifies shoo-ing out three people out of bed at… erm…”, Valentin paused, not really knowing the time and how it works in Crugandr.
“Clock says 8-07 moon… Whatever that is.”, Constantin said, filling in for Valentin.
“yeah… that. In the middle of the night, is what i’m saying.”, Valentin added.

“Well, I am awake so I thought you guys should be that too. Now, when are we going to take the test drive?”, Janne asked restlessly.

“If you have a flashlight and a few minutes of time we can start preparing him. Otherwise you probably won’t shut up anyway”, Valentin relented, turning around to pop back into the tent.

“Sure”, Janne said and took a flashlight up from his pocket, accidentally turning it on while pointing it in the eyes of Valentin.
“Oops, sorry”, he said and turned it off again.

Before Valentin managed to turn around to change clothes, a blinding flash completely obliterates his sense of direction. Instinctively, he holds both eyes shut with his hands as he groans in pain and stumbles backwards, resulting in him getting caught in the tent’s rigging. He thus falls over and onto the now flattened tent. Following that, he rolls around a bit, now on top of his tent.
Constantin rushes over to aid Valentin, checking in on if he injured himself in the process of the tent entanglement.

“Oh, fuck”, Janne said in a state of shock. “It was an accident, I promise. Are you all right?”
“Got any first aid materials if needed?”, he asked Constantin

“Nothing a car-kit wouldn’t have…”, Constantin quipped back as he started to take a look at Valentin. In a sensational stroke of luck, the tent perfectly folded in on itself and did not do any added damage on top of the fall itself. And even that went better than what anyone expected, as he landed on top of the sleeping mat that still was in the tent.

It takes a while before Valentin can re-establish his sense of orientation, followed by him confirming: “I’m good, i think.”
Some basic checks follow, yielding nothing out of the ordinary. “Cannot see anything fucked up either…”, Constantin replied.

Afterwards, Valentin sat up on what now is a tent-ruin, looking at Janne with a face that wasn’t pleased at all, not saying anything.

“I take it as if you have had a less than pleasant experience now”, Janne said with some aftethought in his voice. “I’m utterly sorry, I pushed the switch by accident”, he said and looked at a somewhat annoyed looking Valentin sitting on the top of his collapsed tent.

“No shit sherlock… first you shove all of us out of bed at what feels like 4AM and now you blind the lead-engineer of this thing with a retina-killer that is your flashlight…”, Tim commented, having witnessed the entire thing from the other side of the car.

“Can we just get this over with already?”, Valentin said, still sat on the tent in his rendition of sleepwear. “Connor, can you please get the grease-gun from the roof?”, he added, promting Connor to join the conversation as he is sent out of stasis.

“Certainly.”, he answers and starts work on the roof, digging about the various containers and barrels up there.

Janne started looking at everything with great interest. At least “greasegun” was a word he saw as a sign of a great start. If something needed lubrication it just had to be good, more or less.

“Uhm…hey Val…want some kilju for later by the way? You know, the best painkillers are made from just sugar, yeast and high quality water from above the arctic circle…”

  1. Having acquired the grease gun, Valentin popped the hood and took a look onto the engine bay. “I need you to point the flashlight at the engine”, Valentin said to Janne, mentally bracing for the glare that would follow. “Also… what is Kilju?” Connor stepped in to provide some info. “Kilju is a beverage of Finnish origin, usually containing 15 to 17 percent Alcohol by volume. Unless seasoned with fruits it doesn’t have color or taste other than the ethanol contents. It’s small-scale manufacturing has been legalized in March of 2018.”, Connor explained, followed by Valentin noticeably shaking his head. “Yeah you can keep the booze…”, Valentin replied. (edited)

“Oh, come on, it is not too bad”, Janne replied. “Marie drinks a lot of it and just look, it has not done her any harm”, he laughed and actually managed to point the flashligt somewhat right.

“Just keep it… i don’t drink…”, Valentin replied rather sternly as he went about greasing up most of the valvetrain that was externally mounted next to the engine. Once done, he handed the grease-gun back to Connor and then carefully lowered the hood back down to avoid accidentally retaliating against Janne for the flashbang-attack.

Janne did not say a word during the greasing of the valvetrain, but you could tell from the look of his face that he was really interested and memorized every detail.

“Yeah right…and now?” he asked curiously after the hood was shut again.

“Time to raise some steam… You get into the driver seat and don’t touch anything.”, Valentin ordered and walked over to the front passenger door.
He took seat on what now is the fireman’s workplace and went ahead in going through the process of raising steam.

First, he went through the plungers on the center of the dash, pulling each one from left to right and holding it there for a few seconds.
He then reached over to the steering column and turned the key to the first position, powering the electrical system of the car.
Back on his half, he turned the three dials clockwise, spinning up a set of fans at either end of the car, followed by him briefly turning the ignition key to the second position, which sparks a fire in the boiler.
The dial on the center console near the gear lever is turned clockwise as far as it will go.

“Now to wait a few minutes. Steaming takes some time…”, Valentin said, watching the left gauge of the two mounted centrally between engineer and fireman.

“Now this was a long time ago…”, Janne said. “But it is all like I remember it…except for everything that is different”.

“You know, history repeats itself. I actually took my drivers license in one. They had them in drivers ed because it was said that not even a learner driver could kill one”, he said, having kind of a hard time to hold the nostalgia back.

“And now…? Well now I am once again back as a learner driver in a Dione. Who could EVER have thought that?”, he laughed.

He took notice of everything that Val was doing, and he took it easy when he told him about waiting.

“For this, I could probably wait the whole day. It will just be SO much worth it in the end!”

Valentin went about watching the gauges, not really listening to Janne at the moment. At some point, he turns the center console knob back to where the big gauges were reading roughly equal numbers.
He then grabbed the small lever in front of him on the dash and moved it upwards a bit, forcing the engine into life as it spins over slowly.
Afterwards, both big levers are pulled towards the seat, sending a pair of brief belt-screeching sounds into the surrounding area.
With some belts now under tension, another gauge on Valentin’s side started reading increasingly higher values, up to a point at which one of the big levers is moved back towards the dash again.
That small lever is also returned to it’s neutral position, stopping the engine from turning.

“So… you are, in effect, still driving a car. It mostly behaves like an electric that is ran through a manual transmission. So you pick a gear, release the clutch and then it’s like any electric car with very little regen-braking.”, Valentin explained in a matter equally brief to how he did it with Tim and Constantin.

“Now?”, Janne asked Val just to be sure.

“Not yet”, Constantin blurted from outside the car. He went around the back and opened the trunk through the exposed latch on the insude, freeing up the top-half of his tarp as it drops to the floor. Then, the trunk lid is closed up again.
“Done.”, he added, giving a thumbs up through the interior mirror.

“I guess you have full on torque making a gearbox unnecessary in itself”, Janne asked a bit hesitant, “but is it a bad idea to start in fourth as an unexperienced driver or could I just throw it in fourth immediately and forget about it?”

“Floor it in fourth and you accelerate about as quickly as a semi, at least from a standstill. It has a bit more grunt at speed but we won’t be going anywhere near that fast.”, Valentin commented, having obtained extensive info on that as Connor drove the thing the entire stage yesterday.

“OK, should I maybe try in third then?”, Janne asked.

“Third or fourth and forget about it.”, Valentin replied. “Floor it in second and it’ll break traction.”

“Well third it is then”, Janne said, put it in gear and released the clutch. When pressing down he throttle he could feel that it had torque more or less immediately when it pulled away and that was a kind of pleasant feeling.

“You know…in one way this is a bit like how one imagines a steam locomotive, but much lighter. Which of course also is kind of what it is, well, minus the rails then”, he said.

“On the other hand, you said EV… Yes I have more experience with them than I would like to admit, you know, it was over 10 years ago the first generation IP Neutron was released and…I have driven lots of them. Repairing IPs for a living, you know. And yeah, it sure feels a little bit similar”, he said while the tangerine tank for a brief moment was leaving the campsite.

“But this is cool at least. An IP Neutron absolutely isn’t”, he laughed.

Valentin didn’t say much as this was his first time he was in charge of maintaining the boiler. Yes, he knew how Robert worked in and out, but he still needed to get used to it. The usual driving noises of gravel being crushed by the wheels and the engine rattling about up front were accompanied by the occasional belt-screech and variance in fan noise as he worked the various levers and knobs dotted about the engine bay.

Janne took the Tangerine tank for a fairly long spin for being just a test drive, to really get to know it well. He actually liked the experiece and everything went well. When returning back to camp he was both impressed and satisfied.

“You know, I really LIKE this”, he said. “I need to build something like this one day, that’s for sure. But maybe I should do the woodgas Saarland Kardinal project first. Learning to crawl before learning to walk, you know”. Not that his skills wouldn’t be enough to make something like this come true, but it was probably still something of a dream he wanted to save for a later occasion.

Parked back in the spot where it was before taking off, he asked if there was any special procedure for stopping and turning off the thing.

“On your end, just put it in neutral.”, Valentin replied, as he went about shutting the TTE back down again.
He tried to be as careful as he could when pulling the plungers to avoid waking up any others as the steam escaped the lines.
The remainder went without a hitch and even his tent was back up again, courtesy of Constantin having rebuilt it in the meantime.

“Wow…”, he said. “I will forever be thankful for this test drive. Also, sorry for almost breaking your back, it was really not my intention”, Janne excused himself.

“Maybe actually look at the clock before throwing a goddamn flashbang at people…”, Valentin grunted. He just was happy it was done and he could at least try to catch up on the lost sleep at this point. A minor saving grace was that Robert did not need greasing anymore.

“You aren’t supposed to sleep your whole day away”, Janne laughed, and left Team RK for checking out the pink van before the upcoming stage.

Once Janne was gone, Valentin immediately went back towards and into the tent.
“If anyone really wants another drive, they do it immediately or not at all…”, Valentin muttered, halfway in his tent already. “Wake me up when Robert is steamed for departure.”, he added, as he closed up his tent.
“Wilco.”, Constantin replied, as he entered the car’s rear bench to catch up a bit as well.
So did Tim, but with lesser success, as he wasn’t as easily put to rest as the other two.

What little time was left of the night was spent resting as best as they could.

to be continued

5 Likes
383

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Team info:2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Stage 5) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen

Meeting Team Slow, or so they call themselves

This is kinda continuation of previous part: only members of our team appearing would be Klimentol and Chicota, who returned from checking out Tangerine Tank Engine.
As title indicates, this would be concentrated on our first encounter with Team Slow.
This means heavy cooperation with @interior
With formalities out of the way, time to concentrate on this part itself.

Klimentol and Chicota had returned to the car and realized they will effectivelly be alone here.
That havent disturbed them much, since Chicota could rightfully complain about shittiest beer America has to offer(which was cheapest one as well and stored in special tanks so he could drink something during journey)
Klimentol was set on checking out mechanical stuff around the car.

At one point, they will notice two unknown figures going towards them
These will be Matt and John from Team Slow.
At first, Klimentol was reluctant to appear before them, knowing full well he is big dog and potentially scary bcos of said size.

“I think they already noticed how big you are and havent really backed down, so…i guess its fine and you wouldnt scare them”
“Thats called being cautious. I have no interest in scaring some fellow shitbox enjoyers.
But since they are fine with it…im Klimentol and he is Chicota. We have 4 other members but they are either in water (points in general direction of lake, where me and VerBanka are) or had gone shopping in town”

John and Matt had also introduced themselves and expressed interest to see what this group had as vehicle.

Klimentol: “As you can see, we have this 1995 Kontir Cunningham 1.9 which has this extension so we could all kinda fit in it and sleep.
As expected of big American pickup, it has 4X4.
Surprize is under the hood: 1.9 liter inline4 making 156 hp.”
Chicota: What do you have?

“1996 Schnell XL53 V8” was response followed by pointing at particular vehicle
“Has 4X4 too”

Chicota: What? That doesnt seem like kind of vehicle to have 4X4.
AWD? Sure, fair game. But 4X4 is different story.
Klimentol: I dont think it usually has something on roof either. I mean we saw guys with very extreme modification not that long ago.
Chicota: I dont find it likely they swapped 4X4.

We did. Found old 4X4 and took its drivetrain.
Much more useful on our car.

We are impressed. Although such aftermarket conversions arent always the best, here you are, still competing.
Our modifications would be of lesser extent.

Klimentol: Tbh its not like we couldnt do big stuff ourselves.
Like you making some RVs from stuff you would find on junkyard…or like that Yugo you modded

Kontir's mods and Chicota's build experience

We would gladly hear about that.
Klimentol: About what?
Team Slow looked at each other for a moment, then returned look to dog to answer at same time
Matt: About modifications done to this car
John: About his experience with making RVs and modifying Yugo
…
Hey! I thought you meant to ask same thing
Same

Chicota: For sake of easier explaining, i will identify three different cases

  • Yugo
  • Kontir
  • RVs

Yugo was simplest of them all to do. There was no modification to its drivetrain and almost no change to bodywork - exception being trunk door, being modified in similar fashion as Fiat Panda Van of first generation.
Both material and work were done on some junkyard by exclusively me
Changes were inside tho:

  • Codriver seat replaced with toilet bowl
  • Curtains around it to ensure privacy of two humans that needed to use it
  • Rear seat split in such fashion so they can sleep on those parts

Kontir is present here
(And explained in Team Info - link on beggining of post; only changes we did in Crugandr was swapping places of one bed and two boxes)
.
.
.
Oh yes…RVs now.

These would also be assembled on junkyards using parts i or we could find- sometimes had some helping hands with those.
Mechanically its mismatch of several different vehicles, combining drivetrains etc.
They can easily accomodate group im part of at that moment, which could easily be 15 people with their own beds and several toilets and septic tanks.
Some of them are entitled to have their devices charged and might want artificial light, so that stuff was also implemented.

If there arent any questions, i consider this explaining done

Isabelle arrives

However they would be interrupted by Klimentol:
Do you happen to have more members of team? Since it seems some female had examined your car.
Matt: My girlfriend, yes

Female in question being Isabelle, going towards them with laptop
Klimentol took few steps back for same reasons as on very beggining- to not scare her

Isabelle had looked towards this group and also noticed that there is a dog, so her attention was directed several meters or yards in front of her and not, say, in front of her feet.
One foot was attempted to move forward but hit some rock, resulting in girl tripping and laptop dropped.
Computer went wide open and on screen was shown an spreadsheet of a work-in-progress car alongside a video to the test mule dashcams which are for that particular car.
She became scared that she’s shown it to anyone else who could tell on her and hastily closes the half-broken laptop hinges.

Isabelle: “Oh no, this wasnt supposed to happen! Pls dont tell me you saw everything.
I could get in trouble.”

Chicota: There were some spreadsheets and a video. Cant really tell the details, but its probably more concerning that both you and laptop fell.

Matt ran to help girlfriend stand up.
She was happily fine
“This is Isabelle.”
“I can introduce myself just fine.”

John: I dont know, can you? Seems you are kinda clumsy atm.

To bust any doubt on her capability, Izzy:

  • took few steps back to ensure noone could look at screen,
  • opened laptop carefully,
  • shut it down
  • passed it to Matt
  • took her shoe off, leaning onto Matt
  • aimed at running John, who felt what was about to happen
  • threw a shoe in his direction
  • hit him in back

Klimentol went to retrieve shoe, like a good boy he is.
Returns
Chicota: This is Klimentol. Sometimes he is good boy, other ones total asshole.

“Manners.” followed by shoe once again taking flight.
Shoe hit Chicota in upper part of head, but had enough momentum to tip over said head and Chicota had catched it in hand.

“Can assholes generally do that? Must admit its impressive.”
Chicota: "More impressive in my opinion is talking dog.

“Oops, forgot to behave like normal dog. My bad. Return shoe to owner, im kinda not willing to scare her by approaching, being a big dog.”

Isabelle: Actually it would be fine, i like dogs. And even if i was scared at first by any means, seems you arent dangerous.

Klimentol: That depends on who is asking. Anyway, shoe.

(Picks shoe and gets toward her, giving her shoe.
She petted him)

-That was kinda unexpected…
(Hand was removed from head)
…but never said im actually complaining.
(Hand returned to head and continued petting)

Chicota: You know, you could be big gentleman and allow her to sit on your back.

(Isabelle looked at him with dissaproving looks)

Might be easier to put shoe back on foot. Besides, i know he can easily hold such weight.

-He is right tbf. I wouldnt mind.

Isabelle had sit on his back and discovered that petting is way easier.
Fair trade, some would say.

Isabelle: How come that you can talk?

Klimentol: Would answer you with other question.
Ready?
.
.
How im so intelligent?
This is a good question, which sadly i cant answer.
Who knows what my granpa encountered during his long journeys or maybe, something had happened with his parents that resulted in him being one step closer to me.
Granpa wanted to go on this journey, but went sick not long after that.

Matt: Is…is he alive?

Klimentol: Honestly dont know. As far as im concerned, there was possibility of us needing to buy him casket bcos yes, he was fully ready to die on this trip.

(This was met by some silence from Team Slow)

Tbf he is quite old, so death would come as no surprize.
I will however direct towards more contemporary subjects.
Like, what were those spreadsheets and video we saw?

Isabelle: Thats confidential information. Im not legally allowed to answer that.

Klimentol: Details there would be confidential, but as far as i could tell, basics might be easy to explain. Also i feel thats related to your job.

Izzy: It is…or rather it was. Im ex-Schnell engineer.

Chicota: Boys, you got a jackpot, providing her laptop can be fixed up.
Which…i doubt we could really do with tools we have, not to mention that some data there is actually confidential.

Izzy: True. I have got here for job of different nature, so i havent accompanied these two all the way but i have heard…enough.
Which gets me wondering on how these cars manage to deal with all of this?

Chicota: Ours is 4X4 pickup truck, no surprizes there. We heard these two put 4X4 on their car as well, i guess you familiarized yourself with that job and prob called it good enough.

Izzy: (laughing)

Chicota: There are others tho with much less preparation for machinery and yet, everyone is moving still.
Tbh we DO help each other out, so that helps.
Many participants are resourceful in different ways.
And so, success seems to be the only option.
We would be willing to help if needed and if we can.

With all said and done, teams parted their ways.
And so, journey continues with few more friendships started.

3 Likes
384

Shitbox Rally

Stage 6: Raiegarda to Samiraie

Stage Start: 1 Sun, 24/7/3251, Raiegarda Campsite

Weather at Stage Start: Warm, with relatively low humidity. The sky is cloudy, and there is a gentle breeze blowing through. Compared to previous stages, this will be nice for most people.
Weather at mid-stage: Only mildly warmer than before. Humidity still surprisingly low, the sky remains overcast, and the breeze feels good.
Weather at Stage End (First Car): Like before, warm, low humidity, overcast with a gentle breeze.
Weather at Stage End (Last Car): Slowly warming up, slight bit of humidity, the sun has made an appearance, and the ocean breeze has picked up, cooling everyone down.

Stage End (First Car): A little after 2-and-27 Sun, 24/7/3251, Samiraie Campsite / Queen’s Rest Inn and Tavern

Stage End (Last Car): A little after 5-and-31 Sun, 24/7/3251, Samiraie Campsite / Queen’s Rest Inn and Tavern

While everyone was understandably reluctant to leave the lake behind, the call of arriving at a major city and the thrill of another rally stage called to everyone. With the weather being quite pleasant today, it was a perfect day for a drive. The road between Raiegarda and Samiraie is well-maintained, smooth, and has a general downward grade as we near the ocean. The trees begin to thin out as the ocean starts to pull into view. The river no longer is there on the left-side of the road, replaced instead with the occasional few trees, small buildings, and farms. On the right side of the road, a gradual hill leading down to sandy shores being splashed with waves comes into view. The gentle slope combined with the relative lack of twisty corners means everyone is capable of getting up a good bit of speed. Arriving at our destination, however, is different this time, as we have to pass through the City of Samiraie. The guards open the gates for us, and while everyone has to drive through the city at a much slower pace, it’s quite a different place, with white-painted buildings to keep the heat down, brick-paved streets, clay-tile roof tops, and the occasional hanging lanterns. We’re instructed to park our carriages outside the city, at the far gate. As for the camp… While there is a rather-large area to make a camp in, there is also an open invitation to get a bit of rest at the Queen’s Rest Inn and Tavern, back inside the city.

Notes: Randomization is active. Breakdowns are active. Time is in Earth Time.

New: Times added to Finishing order!

@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:26:28
Average MPH: 65.2
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

Things were going great until the engine suddenly lost a huge chunk of power. At the side of the road, Kaylie discovered the problem: Their throttle cable had come loose on the front carburetor and was only solidly attached to the rear one. A hasty fix got them moving again, but they were going to have to spend time in camp resynchronizing their carburetors.

@Caligari

Team Wayfarers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:18:26
Average MPH: 82.4
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

Taking things at a steady pace is never a bad idea. With a few hills and mostly flat roads, Chernobog gets up to speed and stays there.

@Executive

Team Gearknobs

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:50:32
Average MPH: 73.3
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

The Hakaru Carica was blazing fast early on, and developed a misfire near the end of the stage. Inspection at the camp revealed the culprit: a loose spark plug wire.

@BannedbyAndroid

Team Fallen Angels of the Past

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:51:32
Average MPH: 73.1
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

The Fallen Angels and their trusty Claussient were fast on this stage until they got stuck behind the widest Hakaru Carica in existence. Unable to get past the misfiring AWD hatch, they settled for being a literal minute behind.

@interior

Team Slow

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 03:31:29
Average MPH: 100.7
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

After fixing the XL53 twice, the team managed to get everything right this time, because it’s clear they outright sent it on this stage.

@TheYugo45GV

Team Oil Crisis

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 06:02:02
Average MPH: 58.8
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

The Infamous Narrowblock finally strikes! In a furious cloud of steam and smoke, the Magistrate is parked at the side of the road for a field-strip of the heads and the installation of new head gaskets.

@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:30:19
Average MPH: 78.8
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

Janne is the first to notice something just doesn’t feel right about the van. Andreas blames Marie for it being another curse brought on by the Dyre bone amulet, despite that being long gone. Another piece of Dyre bone is extracted from the front bumper in the camp.

@Fayeding_Spray

Team Witchlight

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 03:55:31
Average MPH: 90.4
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

This is what the EAAC Aphrodite was made for! Smooth sailing in the large barge!

@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 03:28:00
Average MPH: 102.4
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

The Kontir Cunningham will never quite be the same again after Mrdja absolutely sent it on this stage. With copious amounts of duct tape keeping their cargo in place, a nice day, and a good flat road ahead of them, the Cunningham reaches terrifying speeds.

@variationofvariables

Team Blazers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:45:47
Average MPH: 74.5
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 3 (Tires)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

Good news and bad news. The good news is, that tire is fine and that rim is also fine. The bad news, however? Someone let the tire get low, and on one of the fast corners, they pulled the tire bead out of the rim. With a considerably large amount of cursing, the bead is seated again and the tire is aired back up again.

@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passiones

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:20:45
Average MPH: 81.7
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 4
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

Despite making more pit stops than a NASCAR crew, the MCP AWSB manages to finish another stage. More importantly to Giacomo, they’re not last.

@AndiD

Team Quick Rally 47

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:56:24
Average MPH: 71.9
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

When the engine suddenly just shut off, it left everyone stumped for a while. It took a while to find the problem, but it turns out, one of the many things that makes these old Mara vehicles so damn reliable is they won’t let you run them without oil. The problem? The oil pressure sensor came unplugged, so the ECU prevented the engine from operating. With the sensor plugged back in, the engine started running again.

@BG004130

Team Mrezhari

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:45:10
Average MPH: 74.7
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 2
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

A bump caused all sorts of chaos as Team Mrezhari’s supplies were chucked all over the interior of the Dunav. After removing an energy drink can from under the gas pedal, the team pushes on, despite the mess.

@NoahC

Team Jockey

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:09:30
Average MPH: 68.8
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

A bump caused some chaos here as well, as the Yinzer’s suspension suddenly slammed into the bump stops, bruised everyone’s tailbones, then sent the car into a nasty spin into the ditch. After getting back on the road, everyone is a little shaken up, but otherwise doing fine.

@elizipeazie

Team RK Series Racing

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 03:39:55
Average MPH: 96.9
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

A bit of clever thought leads the team to taking a train between Raiegarda and Samiraie. After a relatively-pleasant and peaceful journey, they unload their car at the Samiraie station, drove into the camp, and almost immediately made their trip into the Samiraie steamworks.

@Tzuyu_main

Team Black Rabbit

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:59:04
Average MPH: 44.4
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 4 (Team Caused)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

Between being bruised from the Dauer’s rough suspension and having to go back for the shotgun Tanuki left behind, Team Black Rabbit Corporation had a rough time on this stage.

@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:42:35
Average MPH: 75.4
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 1953.6

The aftermarket EFI system decided to act up, causing Team Spy Kids to spend a good bit of time trying to get the AST Elbrus back up to speed. It turns out that when you lose the belt to your alternator and the battery gets weak, the EFI loses its mind and returns to default settings. After replacing the belt and driving a while longer, things are almost normal, though it’s clear that the old Soviet truck is going to need to relearn those fuel trims.

Stage Finishing Order:

03:28:00 - Team Mravolinski-Chitco
03:31:29 - Team Slow
03:39:55 - Team RK Series Racing
03:55:31 - Team Witchlight
04:18:26 - Team Wayfarers
04:20:45 - Team Machinas Con Passiones
04:30:19 - Team Hillbilly Rollers
04:42:35 - Team Spy Kids
04:45:10 - Team Mrezhari
04:45:47 - Team Blazers
04:50:32 - Team Gearknobs
04:51:32 - Team Fallen Angels of the Past
04:56:24 - Team Quick Rally 47
05:09:30 - Team Jockey
05:26:28 - Team Shift Happens
06:02:02 - Team Oil Crisis
07:59:04 - Team Black Rabbit Corporation

Team Shift Happens

Previous Chapters:

“Here Comes the Hound of Death” - Stage 2 Campsite Battle - Written by Elizipeazie, TheYugo45GV, and Madrias.
Fright Night Forest Stage - Stage 3 Run / Stage 3 Camp
The Free Day - Stage 3 Camp (written in collaboration with Elizipeazie) (Part 1), (Part 2), (Part 3)
Safe Arrival - Stage 3 Camp (Written in collaboration with TheYugo45GV)
The Rescue - Stage 4 Drive and Stage 4 “Camp”
The Rebuild - Stage 4 “Camp” (Written in collab. with Elizipeazie ) (Part 1), (Part 2), (Part 3), (Part 4)
“It’s 6-Fucking-Moon!” - Stage 4 Camp
Breakfast with RK Series Racing - Stage 4 Camp Final (Written in collaboration with Elizipeazie)
Cinnamon and Apologies - Stage 5 Drive and Stage 5 Camp
An Apology / Campsite Stories / I Have Gas! - Stage 5 Camp (Collab with Knugcab - Original Title: “Gimme Oxygen!”)
The Prank - Collab. with SurrealCereal (Team MCP)
A Tent-ative Meeting - Stage 5 Camp

Raiegarda Campsite, 1 Sun

Once breakfast had been finished and the camp had been packed away into the truck bed, the difficult task of deciding a driver for this stage began. Rukari was immediately sidelined after having destroyed the brakes and sideswiped the IP Freeway Star, not to mention nearly taking out the Kontir Cunningham, blowing all of the coolant out of the radiator, or his suggestion to tow the Anhultz Dione by tying the rope around the axle. Malavera had driven the last stage and didn’t want to do so again. Jayde refused to get behind the wheel unless it was absolutely necessary. Kivenaal, while he seemed less impaired than he had the day before, was still clearly under the influence of a cinnamon high, and even though it seemed to have improved his reflexes somehow, Kaylie didn’t feel comfortable putting almost 5 tons of truck in the hands of someone who wasn’t sober. Kayden grimaced at the thought of another stage behind the wheel of the stick-shift Bricksley. Which left Kaylie standing there as the last one to object.

“Fine. How hard can it be? They teach teenagers to drive stuff like this,” Kaylie said, climbing up into the driver’s seat for the first time. Kayden climbed up into the Radio Operator’s seat, turning all of the radios on, making sure the settings were how they needed to be set, and grabbed the CB handle.

“Radio check from Shift Happens. Are we loud and clear?” Kayden said, broadcasting across all four radios.

Malavera sat in the mid-bench up front, with Kivenaal to his right in the window seat. Rukari got put into the mid-bench in the back seat, while Jayde finally got to sit in the rear bench driver’s window seat.

Kaylie put her left foot down hard on the clutch, stepped on the brakes, pulled the release handle for the parking brake, then cranked the V8 over. 427 cubic inches bellowed their fury as Kaylie put the truck in first gear, high-range, and 4x4 mode, gave the engine a whiff of the gas pedal, and let the clutch out. The huge Highwayman took to the cobblestone road with a monstrous bellow, popping and banging each time Kaylie changed gears.

On the Road

Malavera had to admit, for having very little experience with a manual gearbox, Kaylie was doing remarkably well. They were outright flying down the cobblestone road, Kaylie’s left arm gripping the wheel firmly and keeping their truck between the ditches, her right hand occasionally leaving the wheel to find the right gear for the terrain as needed.

Kaylie didn’t want to admit to the others that driving like this was taking all of her concentration, constantly watching the road, checking her mirrors to make sure she wasn’t going to cut off or block another team, trying to avoid over-revving the Bricksley’s big V8, remembering to use the gearbox and not the brakes for small speed changes, trying to avoid driving through anything, and remaining aware of how fast she was approaching the small, gentle curves. Malavera may have been a good co-driver, reading off the pace-notes he’d written, but she could barely hear him through her mask of concentration. A pair of glowing red lights on the dashboard got her attention, letting her know that both of the truck’s 15 gallon fuel tanks were getting dangerously low. She walked it down the gears slowly, hazard lights flashing as she brought the truck to a gentle stop at the side of the road, turning the engine off once they were there.

Kayden got out of the radio seat and grabbed several fuel cans from the back of the bed. Each of the fuel tanks was going to slam down three of the five gallon cans each, and they’d have to top up again at the camp, meaning every other stage was a nightmarish wander into the nearby town to get more fuel. It wasn’t that it was hard to get or hard to pay for, as most of the stores were giving them what they needed, especially now that they were known for fighting the Dyre, but it was the number of trips with fuel cans in hand that proved problematic. As he poured each can down one of the two filler necks, he stood there contemplating whether or not they should have tried harder to retune the engine. Or whether they should have gotten a newer Bricksley pickup truck with, perhaps, an engine that had EFI so it wasn’t just chugging down all of the fuel. With six cans poured in, stowed back in the truck bed, and the twin filler necks capped up and the doors closed, Kayden got back into the radio seat.

Kaylie started the engine back up and got the truck back on the move. Things were going quite well, right up until a quiet ‘plunk’ sounded from under the hood, moments before everyone got jolted forward in their seats. “Fuck!” Kaylie yelled. She checked the gauges, the whole time maintaining what speed she could as her hand found the hazard flasher switch. “Oil pressure is normal. Coolant temperature is slightly high,” Kaylie said, her foot going straight down to the floorboard as she tried to evaluate the truck. “Engine runs marginally better with the secondaries open,” she added as the truck continued to slow down despite being commanded to full throttle. As she accidentally drove off of the road while trying to check her instrumentation, however, Kayden quickly got involved.

“Aviate, navigate, communicate!” Kayden yelled from the back seat. “Malavera, help her check the gauges so she can keep the truck on the road!”

Malavera looked over the same gauges. “Fuel is fine, engine coolant is at 215 degrees, engine oil pressure is 50 PSI, oil temperature is 270 degrees, transfer case is in high range, battery voltage is at 14 volts and charging,” Malavera said, helping Kaylie as much as he could.

“Shit, I’ve got to pull over,” Kaylie said. “This could be bad. If we’ve blown a fuel line and we’re filling the top half of the V with fuel, we’re a rolling fireball waiting for a spark.”

Kayden clicked on the radio and called out, “Shift Happens declaring a non-critical engine failure. I repeat, Shift Happens declaring a non-critical engine failure.”

The Highwayman crunched to a stop on the side of the road and Kaylie quickly switched the ignition off, yanked the hood release, stomped on the parking brake pedal, checked the mirror, then checked their blind spot with her head out of the window before opening the door, and made her way over to the front of the truck. She squeezed the safety latch and shoved the hood skyward, hooked the prop-rod into place, then reached for her tool kit on her hip for a flashlight. She turned it on and aimed the beam of pale blue-white light at the engine. “It’s not a fuel line,” she said. “Fucking carb cable came loose on the front one. That’s why we lost all of our power, we lost 50% of our fuel.” She went back to the toolbox and grabbed a wrench kit, then started trying to work on the truck.

Kaylie quickly developed a hatred for standing with one foot on the tire and the other on the front bumper, leaning way-the-fuck over the engine bay as she wrenched on the engine. This was further worsened as Team Hillbilly Rollers zipped past, the wind off of the front of their van shaking the Bricksley ever-so-slightly and making Kaylie nervous. Any confidence she had in trying to do this properly at the side of the road vanished when the ‘hunting pack’ of Teams Spy Kids, Mrezhari, Blazers, Gearknobs, Fallen Angels of the Past, and Quick Rally 47 blitzed past at what seemed to Kaylie to be a million miles per hour. Just as she committed to the bare-minimum fix to get them running, stepped down off of the tire and bumper, and closed the hood, she had to dodge out of the way of Team Jockey, who had been looking at the stranded truck and ended up drifting closer toward it. Kaylie, pissed off at nearly getting run over doing roadside repairs, hurled her 1/4 inch wrench at the rapidly disappearing car, missing it by about a quarter mile as the yellow buzz-box escaped. She stalked over to where her wrench had landed, sticking out of the dirt, picked it up, cleaned it off, and stormed back over to the truck where she stowed it in the wrench kit, stowed the wrench kit in the tool box, and slammed the box lid. As she got back into the truck, she reached back, grabbed the CB, and practically screamed into it.

“Hey, assholes in the shoebox! Nice one, making me jump onto the fucking hood while I’m fixing the fucking truck! Next time anyone does that to me, I’m giving them a gods-damned wrench suppository!” Kaylie said, finishing the conversation with a snarled growl as she tossed the handle back to Kayden, cranked over the V8, and floored it.

Passing through Samiraie, 3-and-40 Sun

The slow drive up to the gate of Samiraie, followed by driving through the city center on their Main Street, was agonizing for Kaylie, who still hadn’t calmed down from nearly getting run over. The steering wheel creaked ominously under her left-handed grip, aged plastic threatening to break under the strain as Kaylie tried her best not to break the truck.

Samiraie Campsite / Parking Area, 3-and-45 Sun

The truck was finally shut off, though it was clear Kaylie had a different mission in mind as she hopped out of the truck before anyone else had even managed to unbuckle their seatbelts. She extended the claws on her left hand with a quiet click, storming over to the Yinzer MightyTiny, and left a dirty great set of ‘racing stripes’ down the side of the car. Before she could do much more, however, Jayde had gotten out of the truck and made a beeline for Kaylie, picking her up before she could carve anything vulgar into the paint.

“That’s enough, Kaylie!” Jayde said, surprised at just how angry she was. “You yelled at Marie for trying to do the same thing, so why are you doing it?”

“Because they nearly fucking ran me over!” Kaylie yelled. “Let me go so I can make their shitbox a convertible!” Kaylie added, squirming and snarling as she tried to get away from Jayde long enough to exact her revenge on the little Yinzer.

Jayde gave a pained yowl as Kaylie raked the back of his right arm with the claws on her left hand, making him drop her. He grabbed a bottle out of his bag and drank it, feeling the healing potion starting almost immediately, and with a glare at Kaylie, raised his hand and lifted her a few inches off of the ground. “Right. I’m not setting you down until you calm down,” Jayde said, watching as she tried to run toward the car, and after realizing she couldn’t, trying desperately to turn around so she could confront Jayde.

“Really? You’re using magic against me now?” Kaylie asked as Jayde stepped in front of her.

Jayde’s response was to show her the still-healing scratches on his right arm. “You used your claws against me first. Let go of your anger and be at peace, Kaylie. They messed up, yes, but you do not need to react this way. Janne, Andreas, and Marie didn’t act this way and Rukari did hit their van,” Jayde said, handing Kaylie a cloth. “Clean your claws and sheath them, and I’ll set you back down, but only if you promise to let this go.”

Kaylie sighed, grabbing the cloth and cleaning the blood off of her hand before sheathing her claws. “Sorry, Jayde. I didn’t think I’d gotten you with them,” Kaylie said.

“It’s okay. Now, I need you to stay calm and not destroy their car while we’re in camp,” Jayde replied.

After the chaos of Kaylie’s revenge, the team settled into the camp for a while. Kaylie sat on a log with her eyes closed, trying to take Jayde’s advice and try meditation for once. To be fair, she could tell it was doing something, but it left her wondering what Jayde really got out of it, and why he felt it was worth doing so often.

Kayden and Malavera had headed over to the lake to get a bit of swimming in, as Malavera had made it painfully clear that he wasn’t going anywhere near the ocean.

Jayde climbed up into the truck bed, feeling this was the right time to go looking for parts he could use to construct a lightsaber. He reached out and let some old instinct guide him, unaware that he was using the Force. At first, it seemed like he was just getting bits of random junk, everything from bits of random scrap metal left over from building up the truck to bits of electronics, the spare barrel for an old plasma pistol that Kayden had tagged as being “Spare Parts: Inaccurate,” a chunk of twisted up titanium armor from one of Kayden’s armor repair bags, and even a small brass arrowhead that had found its way into the truck bed. Then, however, he found a power cell for Kayden’s hot-sword, and even some spare control circuitry, again labeled as spare parts, this time because the thermal control was locked wide open. He set his bundle of random spare junk into a small cloth bag, then climbed down from the truck bed to find a quiet place to meditate and make something work, potentially. He found an old tree stump that was rather solid, settling down onto it and for the first time in many years, save for the day he’d shown K’mino, he took off the chain with his green crystal on it and placed it in the bag as well, settling deep into meditation and letting the Force and his instincts guide him in assembling a weapon for a more civilized age.

Kivenaal was following an idea that had randomly come to mind, and went about the camp gathering up seemingly the most weird and random bits of everything he could find, including wet sand, a bit of grass, a still-burning piece of charcoal straight out of someone’s cooking fire, some wood shavings scraped off the edge of an old bench, and the top of a dandelion. Like Jayde, he found a place to sit and meditate, the leftover cinnamon high giving him the needed courage to embrace his mixed heritage and tap into his stronger form of magic. He combined all of the pieces of junk he’d gathered up into the palm of his lower right hand, then covered it with his lower left, squeezing everything into the pocket of space between his palms. Some voice from far away told him he needed heat, and so between his palms, he created a blue-hot flame, engulfing his handful of seemingly-random items in mystic fire. His breathing slowed and evened out as he slid deeper into his meditation, willing this to work. A dim red glow escaped from between his hands as a quiet crackling and tinkling sound could be heard. Unknown to him, three sources of magic were combining to make his idea into reality.

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DISCLAIMER: This is coming out way later than expected, this is the only thing i have for the stage 5 drive. Stage 6 will not be spectacularly late.

A secluded gravel road, Crugandr

Local time: 2:14 Sun

Weather: back to being hot as hell

A Strange Looking Lizard

The Magistrate hurtled along the dirt road, shrugging off quite a bit of punishment but thanks to Malcolm deciding to send it over a hill caused the headliner to disassociate with the metal roof.

“Dammit Malcolm! Slow down before you kill us all.” Aedan snapped from the backseat.

A sheepish reply followed mere seconds later. “Sorry, I misjudged how steep it would be on the other side.”

The silver giant then joined the conversation. “Just remember that you are fixing the headliner when we get to the next camp.”

Malcolm only replied with a sigh.

After a half hour of more thuds, rattling and interior trim pieces being knocked loose, the dust cloud from the Mara ahead had made it quite difficult to see the road ahead.

“Doesn’t look like that rain storm got any further than the camp site.”

“Aedan, We’ve been driving since morning and we’ve probably covered over a hundred miles in the past hour.”

“Probably, we are doing 75 right now. But I think… Oh look.”

Orlan looked up from his journal. “What? Ah, someone’s been stranded. It’s the cart by the side of the road right?”

“Yeah, looks like it. Let’s stop and see if we can help out.”

K’mino looked around into the forest as the Magistrate slowed down. “Aedan, I’m sensing danger, are you sure it’s wise to stop?”

“I think you’ll agree that the possible owner of that wagon isn’t in a much better position than we are.”

“Oh,” K’mino sighed and sat back in the seat. “Guess the only thing to do is help him. I assume we’ll be hooking his cart to the car, correct?”

“Spot on, K. Ooh, and Ori, grab your M16 incase shit hits the fan.” Aedan said to his brother.

“You sure? After what happened?”

“Listen to me, just be on alert in case there is anyone who might want to take our stuff.”

The crunch of something on the gravel prompted Patrick to turn around. Oh no, someone had taken the bait. It was only a matter of time before that spotter came back with his associates. But, why hadn’t he heard a lizard thrilling or breathing and what was that staccato burble coming from behind his cart? Well whatever it… was, it was certainly weird. What is this? A self propelled wagon? The lack of steam hissing and an awful smell made this vehicle seem… different.

What was even more surprising however was the strange fox-like things that had climbed out from the vehicle closing the doors behind them.

“Uh… Hello there.”

“Hi, we saw you stopped and wondered if you needed help.” The darker brown one responded.

“Um… yeah.” said Patrick looking around, seemingly nervous.

“Anything the matter?” asked the lighter coloured one.

“No, not really. I just need to get going as quickly as I can.”

“We will make sure of that. Aedan, could you bring the car around?” The lighter brown fox thing asked the darker one, who promptly disappeared behind the cart followed by a loud earth shattering rumble. It was here that Patrick got the full view of their transportation. A big, low and boxy carriage that produced a rumbling sound that had somewhat induced curiosity as to what made that resonance.

The darker brown fox-like thing got out of the vehicle, and walked around the back. “Doesn’t look like our hitch is compatible with something like a lizard.”

The lighter fox thing had another idea. “What about that section of square steel tubing? You should have that right.”

“I think that might actually make sense,” said Aedan, the darker brown being as he retrieved the aforementioned tube and put it in what was called a ‘tow hitch’.

While this was being completed, Patrick had begun putting up and locking the wooden flaps of his merchant cart. Hopefully these flaps would hold if this weird new machine would dare to be any faster than a lizard.

Aedan had put the strongest metal rein loops around the metal tubing. This was the best that could be done without one side having a proper tow hitch and besides, a wooden cart would be much lighter than a caravan. The Magistrate’s Narrowblock V8 burbled gently as Aedan waited by the open driver’s side door for Orlan and the stranded traveler to get in the car, if there was any danger that would soon–. A voice with the smoothness of a certain secret agent came from the bushes as several more men emerged from the bushes.

“Well, well, well. Look at what we have here. Looks like someone tried to help our friend here.” The man who appeared to be the leader of the group of men said while sneering amusedly. All of the men were armed with pistols or rifles and were aiming them at the team standing around the car.

The traveller and Orlan, realizing that these men were bandits. K’mino immediately sensed that these men were dangerous and as such, got closer to the open door Orlan was standing near.

“Looks like we hit the jackpot boys, we’ll be getting another new set of wheels. We’ll be taking everything you’ve got and all that you’ll have left for company is those dyres.”

“I suggest you try and catch us then.” Orlan shot back.

“Oh? Looks like the kitty thinks his friends will out run our lizards. Lemme tell ya son, these are some of the fastest lizards you’ll have seen.”

Orlan then sighed. “You are severely underestimating the capability of the Magistrate.” And then the volley of automatic gunfire erupted sending 30 rounds of 5.56 ammunition at a rate of 800 rounds a minute into the forest, scaring the shit out of the bandits and sending them running for their lives. K’mino grabbed the Traveller by the belt, and yanked with all his might pulling the man into the car followed by Orlan throwing himself into the backseat, as Aedan stomped the accelerator to the floor as the Polaris Narrowblock snarled in defiance as the four wheel drive spun all four wheels fighting for traction. All of this transpired in a manner of seconds, and soon the Magistrate was doing 30 miles an hour and rapidly picking up speed.

John Mitzal, was one of the most notorious bandits this side of Crugandr had seen, but these cats had scared the living daylights out of him and his men. He’d seen lots of battles and guns but, a handheld auto rifle shooting faster than anything else of its size was terrifying to be sure, but these miscreants weren’t going to get away that easy.

The road became visible through the trees again and the vehicle that they were after was hurtling along at speeds their lizards could easily match, but the smell that was coming from the vehicle was nauseating. No one shot at Mitzal and got away with it. No one.

“We are gaining on them!” he shouts to his men. “Keep running after ‘em!”

However, the gap slowly opened the massive iguanas barely being able to keep up as the cart and strange vehicle pulled away, roaring in defiance as it hurtled down the road.

“NO! Do not let them get away!”

The lizards chasing the Magistrate slowly faded into the distance in the rear view mirrors and distant gunshots that were doomed to miss their target had hit rocks that were already far behind the Oil Crisis family truckster.

Aedan spared no seconds in getting on the CB radio. “Everyone! Keep an eye out for bandits, we’ve just had a very close call, keep your foot planted, their lizards are no match for our V8s, four bangers, straight sixes and whatever else we’ve got in this convoy. Don’t stop for any reason, if they try to block you off and you’re in a tank, ram them!”

After the occupants of the Oil Crisis oil tanker had calmed down.

“How’s our guest?”

“Fine, you guys are life savers.” the guest said.

“You have a name?”

“Yeah, Roland, Patrick Roland. Best fruit merchant this side of Crugandr. You can drop me off in Raiegarda.”

The arrival in the campsite is peaceful and the bandits are a no show.

To Be Continued (Like Always)

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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude
PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!
PART 2.1 - D. Head
PART 2.2 - Good night!
PART 3.0 - Freeway Rockstar
PART 3.1 - DISCO TJO DISCO HEJ
PART 3.2 - Van-Werewolf 1-0
PART 4.0 - Calm after the storm
PART 5.0 - Mirror mirror on the…oh, crap!
PART 5.1 - Hello, little puppies!
PART 6.0 - Speed
PART 6.1 - GIMME OXYGEN! (feat. Madrias)
PART 6.2 - Steamin’ hot! (feat. Elizipeazie)

PART 7.0 - The Kayak

Janne was returning to the tent soon after the test drive of the Tangerine tank, still as excited as some minutes ago.

"ANDREAS! MARIE! GUESS WHAT! I GOT TO TEST DRIVE THE DIONE!", he shouted.

"MMnnnggfff…", Andreas said, "What the fuck is so special about a Dione…that it was necessary to wake me up for it?"

"I would say that a steam powered Dione is a rather unique thing…, Janne tried to explain.

"You can’t run a car on steam… Steam is fucking water. Didn’t you learn anything at school? Now let us sleep!", Marie said with a sigh.

Very disappointed that the rest of the team did not want to hear about his test drive, Janne went out to check the van instead. Coolant was OK, oil was OK and a visual inspection didn’t show any defects. After being restless for some hours, Marie and Andreas got out of the tent and started to load their stuff back in the van, ready for takeoff.

"I can’t believe what’s wrong with Val…, Janne said. "I tried to give him some free kilju but he said no."

"YOU TRIED WHAT?", Marie said with anger in her voice. "You aren’t giving away our kilju, are you?"

"Oh, it was just as a gift…"

Marie did not like the “just as a gift” part at all. Instead, she took the kilju from the back of the van into the cab, and started drinking rather immediately.

"Marie, you don’t have to drink all of it today…", Janne tried to explain.

"I won’t take any risks", Marie answered.

After driving for a short while, Andreas complained that the van was shuddering, but Janne said that it was probably just his imagination. Andreas meant that he could feel it and that there was no question about it, but Janne didn’t really believe him. Soon after that, they were meeting the Dauer of Team Black Rabbit going in the opposite direction.

"BREAKER 1-9 BREAKER 1-9 THIS IS TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS TO TEAM BLACK RABBIT, YOU ARE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!", a somewhat drunken Marie shouted in the CB and laughed.

"I wonder what their reason are", Janne said.

"Well, that is none of our headache", Andreas answered. "What IS our headache, however, is how the van is shuddering. You must be able to feel it yourself now!"

"Hmmm…yes", Janne said.

"It is probably that fucking dyre bone amulet! You were right! They bring bad luck!", Andreas sighed.

"Nah…Do you think so…I mean, we threw it out a long time ago", Janne said.

"Well, Mr. Master Mechanic, can you come up with a better solution then?"

"Hmm…yeah maybe", Janne answered.

They soon passed Team Shift Happens, perhaps a bit too close but not even near how it was last time, during the sideswipe incident. Marie was wondering if they should not stay and help after all.

"They said non critical on the CB so they can have their non critical failure. We have a non critical failure too. At least now. Who knows if it evolves to a critical one", Andreas said, flooring the pedal in the van that was shuddering worse and worse for every kilometer.

"Yup, exactly as I thought", Janne said after looking into the glovebox. "We have a bottle of injector cleaner here. We can try to put it into the tank at the next fuel stop."

"Well, the fuel warning light is lit now", Andreas said as they were approaching a slope. Now the engine stalled, so he quickly put the column shifter in Neutral and coasted down the hill. It was leading down to a beautiful beach, so to not stand in the way for other teams coming downhill (for example, a Bricksley with mushy brakes) the team parked out on the beach. Andreas took some jerry cans of kerosene from the back of the van while Janne was pouring the contents from the STP bottle into the tank. Marie, however, was gone, which was not really an unexpected thing.

"Sigh…hope she comes back soon!", a somewhat stressed and restless Andreas said. And she did. Dragging on something they had hoped she wouldn’t be dragging on.

"Look what I found!", Marie said with a great deal of happiness in her voice.

"Yeah, an old rotten kayak! So what?", Andreas sighed.

"I can’t believe someone has dumped a fully functional kayak!", Marie said.

"Fully functional? Maybe 30 years ago.", Janne sighed.

"Marie, there is no way you’re taking that kayak with you!", Andreas said.

"Well, why not?", she asked. "I WANT this kayak!"

"Well, first of all, when it comes to all the trouble I have had in my life, a larger percentage than necessary is related to you picking up crap you found at the side of the road", Janne sighed.

"Look at the mess in the back of the van!", Andreas said. "There is simply no room for the kayak!"

"We can make room for it!", Marie said, and started to unscrew the lexan window from the centre divider wall in the van, then went into the cab and removed the centre headrest, and forced the fore of the kayak through the gaping hole. The team took place in the van, which started after a long time of cranking, and ran like crap for a while, though it started running better and better.

"Andreas, do you have to drive so fast?", Marie complained after the van was starting to run better.

"Yes! Why do you even ask?", he said, obviously annoyed.

"Because I am hitting the back of my head on this damn kayak all the time!"

"Well, be glad that you won’t hurt any vital parts then", Andreas said with a sigh.

The van was still shuddering a little when the team arrived at camp, even if it was running better and better all the time. When they parked, Andreas was looking at the now exposed foam block behind the broken bumper cover of the van, and saw something poking out. A piece of dyre bone that was stuck in the foam.

"I hate dyre more than anything else in this goddamned world! And the only thing I hate more than dyre is their goddamned bones! And the only thing I hate more than dyre bones is Marie’s fucking kayak!", Andreas shouted, ripping the splintered dyre bone out of the foam block, throwing it away, barely missing Matt from Team Slow, that looked a bit surprised when a piece of dyre bone passed him 2 centimeters from his ear. Marie, however, was dragging her newfound bargain down to the beach.

VEHICLE STATUS:
Interior unusually clean.
Airbag cover duct taped together
SRS light removed
Front bumper broken
Rear bumper scratched
Bull bar bent
Windshield cracked
Left side sliding door caved in, door handle broken
Right side sliding door being stiff to open and close, something must have happened during the werewolf fight
Left outside mirror mostly gone (only the metal base left, plastic housing and glass gone)
Running rough but getting better
No centre headrest
No lexan window in the divider wall

TO BE CONTINUED…

@Tzuyu_main @interior

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Team Slow
Chapter 2, Part 7 -The awakening of the car.

OOC: Conversations Open.

Whilst we got the XL53 successfully fixed, and we arrive at the nicely-named Samiraie Campsite, Which happens to be in a city, and at the Queen’s Rest inn and Tavern, Isabella was driving fast, really fast, at 100MPH and starts thinking she’s a rally driver and starts sort of flying on a hill like the car became a plane, but for a mere 6 seconds or so. We start flooring it for a bit, then we get told to park our motor car outside the city, at the far gate. We all get out, Matt is bringing along some items, Izzy gets out the car a bit later to get her suitcase of clothes and computer inside. John on the other hand, is getting his things. Matt sees a dyre bone get thrown so close and nearly gets bonked with it. “Who’s bone’s this?” as he refers to Andreas from Team Hillbilly Rollers throwing the bone so close.

We arrive into the inn, Perfect weather for this kind of driving. “Far better than the previous campsite” Matt says, rather excitedly about the car not being crippled in terms of performance. John and Izzy go and inspect the XL53 outside for any mechanical damage. “Seems alright, you just broke the bumper a bit.” John replies, “That’s good, didn’t break the oil pan” Izzy replies back after being told that. They both come back into the inn. John goes onto his smartphone with a portable Wifi router to realise it doesn’t work. “Matt, did you see what i did on the CB?” Izzy says “Yeah?” Matt replies back as hes in a different room

“So yeah I literally took it and said MOVE YOUR ASSES OVER! I AM GOING THE FUCKING SPEED OF LIGHT!. While going 100 something MPH” Izzy replies back as she was slightly shouting about it. She goes and makes them dinner. “Were you even sober that time?” Matt replies, she replies back with “I actually was sober doing that.”

John: Do you remember that time in the other camp, that Izzy’s computer dropped and then she looked so scared that she started running back to the car?
Matt: Well, yeah I do.

Izzy: “Ugh, oh please out of all the times”, THAT? she says with a rather disgruntled voice, I’ll need to change out from these clothes however.

Matt: Alright

John: Oh and by the way, dinner’s on the table.

Matt: Cool, just place it on the bedside table in me and Izzy’s room, ok?

John: Okay, will do.

As Izzy finishes switching out her set of clothes, she comes back out for dinner, alongside the rest of the team and then start resting about as we watch a video that was downloaded off the internet on her computer’s hard drive. Then they eat dinner

M: Who’s gonna be driving next stage? I may be driving. If anyone else is too tired.

I: Really enjoyed that car

J: Maybe, only woke up in the car like a while ago.

M: The way she was driving that, the moment she noticed it wasn’t limping.

J: Should’ve been awake for the part I was looking for. Another air compressor.

I: Did you at least hear what I said on the CB?

J: Yeah. Should’ve woke me up for that. Must’ve took an L to the ears if they weren’t prepared.

They go to rest in their beds beside Izzy as she is busy around the motel drunkenly walking around saying some random nonsense. “Where’d has she gone. Oh well she would pass out from that strong drink eventually. Also seemed to have done up the hair, a few ginger hair strands in small amounts, gonna go find her knowing that it’s Izzy.

Matt goes about the place to find her and goes downstairs and sees her sliding down the stair railing “What the…” He sighs and walks upstairs carrying her behind his back as she starts yelling out another thing drunkenly and then passing out

TO BE CONTINUED

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389

forgotten crugandr is still in the steam age, my bad. Did many of todays story on iOS and the keypad and scrolling down is broken on the forum and I sometimes blindly punch in the story and wish for the best it makes sense.

390

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude
PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!
PART 2.1 - D. Head
PART 2.2 - Good night!
PART 3.0 - Freeway Rockstar
PART 3.1 - DISCO TJO DISCO HEJ
PART 3.2 - Van-Werewolf 1-0
PART 4.0 - Calm after the storm
PART 5.0 - Mirror mirror on the…oh, crap!
PART 5.1 - Hello, little puppies!
PART 6.0 - Speed
PART 6.1 - GIMME OXYGEN! (feat. Madrias)
PART 6.2 - Steamin’ hot! (feat. Elizipeazie)
Part 7.0 - The Kayak

PART 7.1 - Marie the valkyrie?

"God damn, it is hot here", Marie said.

"And you’re just using that for an excuse to…", Janne tried to say.

"I need some more kilju I think!", she said and swallowed most of the jug in just seconds.

"Well. No comments", Janne sighed.

Marie went away somewhere, not that Janne cared a lot, neither did Andreas.

"I simply can’t stand this anymore", Janne said. “This is driving me nuts, I am not going through this sober one more night”, he continued before emptying the rest of what was left of the kilju.

"Well, lucky you that doesn’t have to drive then!", Andreas said with a somewhat bitter tone.

They saw Marie coming back with some deer horns she had found at camp site but they pretended that they didn’t see that. Hopefully she would forget about them and not put them into the van before it was time to take off tomorrow.

"HEY! Where is all of the kilju!", she said with a very upset tone.

"Most of it? Somewhere in your liver!", Janne sighed. "It is OURS, not YOURS, do you understand?"

"I barely got a taste of it", she said and pretended to mope.

"Right…yeah…right…", Janne said.

For some reason Marie took a screwdriver out of the toolbox and started to pry off one of the hubcaps from the van, which surprised Janne and Andreas a lot. Even more strange was when she started to duct tape the deer horns to the hubcap.

"Marie, what the fuck are you doing?", Andreas asked.

"It is my viking helmet!", she said.

"Yeah…right…your viking… helmet… right., Janne said.

"Marie, right now you make about as much sense as antifreeze in a VW Beetle!", Andreas told her.

"Hey, how do I look", she said after placing the deer horn/duct tape/hubcap combo on her head.

"Well, to be honest", Andreas said, "it actually is an improvement because now it is hard to see your new, hideous haircut."

"Yeah…the haircut that YOU gave me!"

"OK, yes in hindsight I can agree that it was not an improvement over Pennzoil 10W40.", Andreas said.

Marie was walking down to where she left the kayak when Janne and Andreas asked where she was heading.

"I am going to invade Poland!", she told them.

"Fucking POLAND!!!, Andreas said and could not stop laughing. "We’re in another fucking world, how do you think you could reach Poland from here!"

Marie gave Andreas an angry look and hit him in the head with the paddle.

"OUCH!"

"A real viking can sail anywhere", she said and took place in the kayak.

"Sail…in a kayak. Yeah, makes even more sense. And by the way, that is a fucking LAKE, just try to reach Poland from there!", Andreas said.

"Marie, have you ever sat in a Kayak before?", Janne asked, while she was trying to get farther out on the lake. After watching her somewhat shaky kayak trip for a while the answer was obvious though.

"It is not that she is either drunk or unexperienced", Janne said, "You can’t be that bad at kayaking without being both at the same time."

" We conquered lands and seas, destroyed all enemies, our weapons axe and sword, our men stood hard as steel, and blood was all around", she sang (extremely drunken and out of tune) as she was going in all different directions on the lake.

"She is better at kayaking than singing", Andreas said with a salty voice.

Everything went well (ehm, maybe not but still…), until the kayak overturned, and stayed upside down. They could see the viking helmet floating away before it sank down into the lake.

"Well, there goes our hubcap", Janne sighed.

"You know, I almost feel the urge to leave her like that", Andreas said, "But that would be really mean of us."

"Yeah", Janne said. "Poor fish trying to eat her remains will probably die from a heart attack."

"HEY! WE NEED HELP HERE!", Andreas shouted and rapidly took off most of his clothes before he ran into the lake.

(OOC: Any team that is willing to help to sort this mess out - feel free to jump in. Though I beg you to NOT take unnecessary control of my characters this time since I already have loose ideas about what will happen after this)

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391

@Madrias For reference, do we park at the inn and stay on its lot, or we stay inside the inn? Assuming i undoubtedly fucked up something on my RP Post.

392

We park outside the city. If you want to stay at the inn, your car will be outside the city, along with everyone else’s car.