Average Person Driveability Test (APDT -- BeamNG testing)

[falukorven]

Thank you @th3maldonado for letting us test this vehicle. Today we have the Virage VIII VSi 2017 by company Bramhall. The European take on a luxury car, featuring a fat sedan with a turbo’d 4 cylinder producing 257 horsies. Question is, is this an actual sporty luxury sedan with a hyperactive yet efficient little engine? Or are we in fact witnessing how environment awareness is destroying automobiles like Cassandra, 16 years of age, destroyed her life by going YOLO and not using contraceptives? Only one way to find out…

Lap 1 (02:29.342)
And off we go! It’s a four cylinder and it’s marketed as a sports & luxury saloon. Now it doesn’t really feel all that cheery and energetic as I was lead to believe. It’s like Timmy, 5 years of age, when he found out Santa was in fact the local alcoholic with a fake beard. Timmy was happy and energetic but his childhood world was obliterated so now Timmy is sad, depressed and just doesn’t care anymore. This car is Timmy. The car doesn’t care. It gets going but it’s just meh. But this is about driveability mainly anyways. The car is incredibly predictable and easy to drive and has all the bells and whistles you expect from a supercomputer on wheels. Electro-magic and also a DCT gearbox.

Lap 2 (02:23.768)
Little timmy The car is really fun to toss around the race track. And the brakes. The brakes are really strong on this thing. Holy wasp nests, they are strong. They are like that roid junkie of a bouncer you see at the local stripclub. You just want to get in there and look at scandally clad ladies. But the bouncer is holding you back with just one hand. No dice, boy, he says. You just keep doing burnouts with your shoes until the bouncer throws you into a garbage bin. These brakes will stop you, no matter how much you want to keep going. Though I think I was a tad over enthusiastic and beat the brakes and had a little fender bender. No issues though.

Lap 3 (02:23.616)
This thing corners so well. If I do it well, 70mp/h medium corners are no issue and high speed driving is more robust then uncle Brian’s alcohol tolerance. And the lap times speak for themselves. The learning curve is very small since I appear to be driving it at the peak of my driving skills after just one lap.

Best lap: 02:23.616 (Lap 3).

Positives:

• Easy to drive.
• Easy to handle and predictable handling.
• Roid junkie brakes.
• Stable at high speeds.
• Can do medium corners at 70mp/h.

Negatives:

• Meh performance.
• It’s not easy to make fun of this thing.

Final verdict: A very stable and easy to use car. Very small learning curve. Ultra stronk brakes. An extremely driveable car. APDT Approved!

[th3maldonado]

Ouch XD
I guess the recycling of the Viva’s 4 cylinder shows through a lot. I guess dev-ing that new V6 would’ve been the better option. nvm. XD Atleast it handles how I wanted it too. Should probably have de-spec’d it to the Si model. then ran the 2.6 V6 dev engine. Kicks out around 350bhp.

[yurimacs]

Lagau would like to send you a demo car of the all-new Lagau APG II that will be unveiled later in the year to the public.
We would like someone to test the easiness of the car because we want our customers to know that they will be able to handle the sheer power of the V12 inside.

Notes:

• Even though it has All-wheel drive, It’s power delivery is mostly rear-biased. So dont go too cocky about having AWD.
• The V12 we sourced is a detuned Hillclimb engines with street legal parts. So the power delivery maybe rough and it shows in upshifts. Be warned.

edit: I will send the files soon within the day.

[abg7]

The review of the Super Strato 3 left me in stitches. Whoever tries that bubblegum-colored… abomination is on a one-way road to hell!

As for the Bridgell Flatt you also tested, if the Eco Wagon is the Dr. Jekyll of the range, I’m expecting the GTT Coupe to be more like Mr. Hyde.

[Dorifto_Dorito]

It has a name you know.

[falukorven]

Thank you @Marcus_gt500 for lending us this car. Today we’re trying out the Bridgell Flatt GTT Rally Coupe. Bridgell says it’s a wilder version on the Flatt platform. Question is, is the GTT Rally Coupe a rally beast that would make WRC champion Sébastien Ogier cream his pants due to excitement, or is this GTT Rally Coupe in fact a big fat phony? Only way to find out…

Check out Bridgell Motor Company and also their design studio MV Design.

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Lap 1 (02:32.248)
This is a rally car. It’s marketed as one. So I expect to feel like Sébastien Ogier even though I’m a random yokel. And I’m not entirely sure. It is extremely under steery and has rather meh cornering. Medium corners are possible only at 45-ish mp/h. Also need to downshift a lot to get power out of the turbo engine. Driving this is a workout. And the handling is more disappointing then modern pop music. I ask the car, hey, are you a big fat phony?. The car gets triggered and in fact it ends in a crash due to the understeer. My mistake this one for underestimating it but also, this car needs anger management lessons. After we fix the car, it’s time for lap number 2… Ha, you didn’t kill me, car. Rekt

Lap 2 (02:27.272)
There’s one more issue. The brakes. The brakes are shadier then the suburbs of Paris. They in fact lock up when you steer and brake hard. Makes me question even more if this car is a big fat blue phony or no. Is the blinking ABS light a mockup? Did Bridgell swipe brakes from an A380 for this thing so that there’s more brake force then there’s shemales in Thailand? And there’s less ABS action then there’s common sense amongst social liberals. Awful brakes.

Lap 3 (02:25.645)
The brakes and having to downshift all the time make this not so easy to drive. And the brakes ended with drifting out in the grass in a corner. I don’t know what to make of this. It’s like a one night stand from Tinder. It was fun but you feel so empty afterwards. It lacked that special something. It was just an in and out experience.

Best lap: 02:25.645 (Lap 3).

Positives:

• Quite a fast car.
• Stable at high speeds.
• Decent cornering once you get the hang of it.

Negatives:

• Dodgy brakes and ABS.
• Need to shift to 1st a lot in sharp corners.
• Very understeery.

Final verdict: This car might not be a big fat phony but it is like a one night stand. You was excited about it. You went in and out and you’re left feeling empty, missing that special something. It has a learning curve and the dodgy handling and brakes make it not so driveable. Not APDT Approved.

[falukorven]

Thank you @VicVictory for letting us drive the 1969 Suzume Hosho GS. A retro import with a 2.9L boxer6 engine. Question is, will this be a well refined Japanese (?) sports coupe, or will it be less controllable then a fat lady in the chocolates section in the supermarket? Only one way to find out…

Lap 1 (02:53.741)
Instantly, I can tell that this is a classic car. The rear end is really slippery. More slippery then the slippery slope that Uncle Tom is on with his alcohol habits. And this car is like a Japanese emperor. It demands respect. God forbid that you disrespect it…You’ll get publicly executed. Being too liberal with the accelerator can end in disaster, unless you know what you’re doing, which I don’t.

Lap 2 (02:53.703)
Me attempting to be the Allies by trying to defeat this Japanese emperor, it ends in disaster. I loose the battle despite my greatest efforts. The rear end of this thing spins out bad. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, THOU SHALL NOT CONQUER MY EMPIRE. REAR END SLIPPAGE, I SUMMON YOU. Thinking that I can handle this, the emperor proves to me that no one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, can touch his empire. So rear end slippage uses loss of control against test driver and it’s super effective. Hence the non-existent lap time improvement.

Lap 3 (02:41.608)
The learning curve is steep. All that could be done is regroup and try again. Try again with more respect towards the car. The brakes like to lock up, like any other car of this era, so one needs to be careful. Also, the handling when going out of corners is really unpredictable. This is when this Japanese emperor turns into Godzilla on PCP. It doesn’t want to be driven by a yokel. The car is too good for trash like me.

Best lap: 02:41.608 (Lap 3).

Positives:

• Has quite a lot of power, rarely need to shift to 1st.
• Can corner well if you know what you’re doing.
• Is decently fast.
• Stable at high speed.

Negatives:

• Hard to control.
• Steep learning curve.
• Drifty rear end.
• Thinks it’s a Japanese emperor.

Final verdict: It’s a Japanese emperor. It doesn’t want to be conquered or tamed by trash like me. Only those who know what they’re doing are welcome. The spastic rear end makes it a not very driveable experience. Not APDT Approved.

[TheAlmightyTwingo]

Blackbirds recently released DM64T is ready to be tested.

The Blackbird Asaha DM64T is the supercar version of the Meijer Asaha DM64T, the engine has been upgraded from 403Hp to 518Hp but weight has slightly increased.

[VicVictory]

@falukorven

Thinks it’s a Japanese emperor.

OMG, I am laughing my ass off at this whole review… Thanks!

[falukorven]

Thank you @Tyhikastija at for lettung us toy with this automobile. The Ökul S93 has been given to us by Ökul Motorcars Inc. For those who want to see, more pics can be found here.

This is a prototype of an upcoming sports car featuring a high revving boxer 6 and a DCT 7 speed tranny. The manufacturer was kind enough to tell us about a slippy rear end and to top it all off, they told us this is one out of seven existing prototypes of the car.

With such immense pressure on our test driver’s shoulders, it’s time to answer questions. Is this car like a roid using hunk dressed in a tailored suit that works as a CEO, or is this car trailer trash that wears a wife beater and smokes crack all day? Only one way to find out…

Lap 1 (02:15.681)
With the slippery rear end in mind, and the fact that this is one of seven existing prototypes, I put the gearbox in sport and floor it like there’s no tomorrow. And to my surprise, the rear end stays put. What? Is this a sitcom? Or is the car a sociopath that will strike back when I least expect it? This thing slices corners like social media slices people’s personalities in pieces and turns them into trend zombies. This is good stuff, m’kay? There rear end doesn’t have psychopathic tendencies.

Lap 2 (02:11.060)
This thing flies. Not literally, but it goes fast. Over 140mp/h on the straightaways and it’s extremely stable and easy to drive. It’s so easy, even a crippled elephant with Parkinson’s could drive this like the Stig. Fast corners can be done over 65mp/h and medium corners can be done in 55ish mp/h. We can probably thank the anti gravity drive electronic stuff for this.

Lap 3 (02:12.698)
I knew the car was a sociopath. Lap number three, it happened. The rear end behaved like a three legged emu dancing jitterbug and I got a nice, adrenaline inducing powerslide out of it. With traction control on! And you know what? There was no care in the world about trashing an expensive prototype car. Felt like it was Fast & Furious. Tokyo Drift baby. This car is just so fun, yet it’s polite enough to not cause you a crash. However, the powerslide cost me a second on the lap time.

Best lap: 02:11.060 (Lap 2)

Positives:

• Very fast.
• Amazing traction.
• Has an anti gravity drive electronic stuff to keep it stable.
• Extremely good cornering.
• Stable at high speeds.
• Extremely easy to drive.

Negatives:

• Uhh…I can haz cheeseburger?

Final verdict: Amazing, stable, easy to drive car. It’s glued to the road, there’s no weird behavior, corners great. An extremely driveable car. APDT Approved!

[strop]

Following investigation of the Beam aero model vs Automation I’ve rectified the high speed handling issue in the Ultima (spoilers don’t register any downforce in Beam). Would you be interested in trying it out again, or would you prefer to test just once? I’m not fussed but I promise you now you’ll find the car easy to drive even with the ESC completely off

[Tyhikastija]

Fun stuff.
Actually the car tested was Ökul S93 NH. We have plans to release it along regular and softer S93 and a track-day special S93 NHR.
About the ‘slippy’ rear end… Once you turn electronic nannies off, it becomes really hard to catch high speed slides. I know it from my own experience with the car.

[Ornate]

More about the 1973 Velkolepy Popular RSI

[cygnus]

lol like that gt impression

[falukorven]

Thank you @MetalPretzel for letting us drive the Avi AWD. It’s an 80s turbo rectangle on wheels ,featuring a turbo I5. Question is, is this car a well refined and stable 80s turbo wagon, or is driving this thing as risky as passing gas after eating two plates of beans and bacon? Only one way to find out…

Lap 1 (02:27.076)
This is an old 80s turbo car without fancy electronic magic so I don’t expect much, but to my surprise, this thing handles real well. It’s extremely controllable. This car is like an old chain smoking man on a running track, but despite his severe COPD, he outruns the youngest and most bull testosterone filled youngsters on the track. And it handles real well and predictable. It’s like grandpa John and his modified mobility scooter. A mobility scooter that pulls mean G’s and can go over 100mp/h with ease. It doesn’t spin out. It’s as sharp as the hypodermic needle your local drug addicts use. You can easily corner at 50mp/h in medium corners.

Lap 2 (02:23.311)
This car has a fancy AWD driveline. But the manufacturer left out ABS. What is this s%&t?! This car is like the Tupolev Tu-144. It has all the latest and fanciest tech, like the Tu-144. Inline five engine, turbo, AWD. But it lacks basic safety features like the Tu-144, such as ABS. And we all know how ahem “safe” the Tu-144 was. Not good boys. You know better then crazy Russian engineers who cut corners to release a supersonic jet earlier then the competitor Concorde.

Lap 3 (02:23.360)
All in all, I must say this is a pleasant experience so far. If you’re careful with the brakes, it should all be fine. There’s no real funny business here. It is an 80s turbo rectangle. And it’s surprisingly easy to drive.

Best lap: 02:23.311 (Lap 2).

Positives:

• Easy to handle.
• Great cornering.
• Very controllable and stable due to AWD.
• Easy to get the hang of.

Negatives:

• Obvious corner cutting with lack of ABS.

Final verdict: An easy to learn and drive car. They cut corners with no ABS but easy to handle by not being a dumbass while braking. A very very driveable car. APDT Approved!

[MetalPretzel]

A great evaluation as always. I am glad you enjoyed the car.
One comment, as the vehicle tested was a heritage vehicle from 1984, ABS was not an available option then. Rest assured, all versions available from 1992 onwards do include ABS

Early evaluation footage of the AVI wagon from 1984:

[falukorven]

And we’re back! We’re sorry for the delay. Our test driver was abducted by alien lifeforms known as exams from the planet of University. Today we have the Lagau APG II by @yurimacs ! It’s another what appears to be a V12 supercar. The manufacturer Lagau told us to not be cocky since the AWD system is rear biased. Knowing that the AWD driveline has a butt fetish, it’s time to answer questions. Is this car a well balances, well refined and easy to handle pocket rocket? Or is driving this thing scarier then being anally probed by green little creatures in a flying saucer? Only one way to find out…

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Lap 1 (02:10.069)

We’re off and holy pickled herring, this thing is fast. And I mean fast fast. Faster then a trailer trash mother of ten can smoke a cigarette. Faster then old, partially disabled retired people cut in line to get on the bus. Faster then I can devour a double cheeseburger when heavily intoxicated. It’s just fast. And predictable. More predictable then a movie-film. More predictable then Twilight. It’s just so easy. Wow.

Lap 2 (02:05.777)

Now here’s where I taste the kinky rear end. While it luckily doesn’t taste like feces, it does taste like like the fear you experience when your one night stand calls you and asks if you remember that one night in last weekend where you did dirty stuff in the bedroom of her mother. It’s incredibly scary. Even the prospect of having a baby with a random woman is less scary. However, I interpret this as the car’s way of telling me to back the &%¤# off so I oblige. And in return, the car is good in corners. Doing medium corners 45-50mp/h and fast corners over 60mp/h. It’s like your pseudo-abusive grandfather. One one hand, he beats every molecule out of you if you disobey him, on the other hand, he rewards you for good behavior.

Lap 3 (02:06.347)

Flooring it out of corners is okay. Nothing fishy here, except the privates of the rent-a-girl you visited that one dreadful, ethanol infused night, and the breath of your maths teacher. The turbo is good, no lag or sudden jolt of power like convicts experience in the electric chair. It does fly real fast at 150mp/h on the straightaways.

Best lap: Lap 2 (02:05.777)

Positives:

• Fast.
• Predictable handling.
• Rather good cornering.
• Easy learning curve.

Negatives:

• Punishes you if you push it too hard.
• AWD system has a butt fetish.

Final verdict: A very predictable and easy to learn car that punishes you if you go too far. This butt obsessed car is a very driveable car. APDT Approved!

[cygnus]

apparently, my observation on results for most (and possibly all) Mid-Engined cars here are tend to be butt-punishing

[falukorven]

Today we have a tiny little car called the Fisto 1.0SDS-3H by @cygnus . A little compact thing trying to be a sporty car, with a 150hp turbo I3. After some chuckling at the name, it is time to answer a few questions. Is the Fisto programmed to please? Or is it as safe as post apocalyptic Las Vegas? Only one way to find out…

Lap 1 (02:34.214)

I assume the correct position and we’re off! First off all, I can say this thing is definitely programmed to please. There’s no numbness that subsides in several minutes. This thing is very well refined. It is impossibru to loose control. It is more impossibru then a radical feminist using common sense. It is more impossibru then diving by zero. It’s just so easy to drive, but what do you expect from a compact, high pleasure modern car? The car won’t fist you, as the name implies, if you go all Ken Block with. You only get understeer.

Lap 2 (02:29.038)

It is just so fun to drive this like a murderous madman on crack. It’s so forgiving. And it corners real well. Fast corner in excess of 60MP/H and sharp corners can be done at 35MP/H. Wow! Can you believe it? This car fists the privates of some hypercars we’ve had at our test track. It really puts those hypercars to shame. More shame then you felt after farting on your friend’s face during a sleepover because they were snoring loudly. More shame then you felt after vomiting on the pretty girl in class during a party where you had too much Jäger.

Lap 3 (02:29.509)

There’s absolutely no learning curve here. The learning curve is more non-existent then the writing quality of our articles. The car is more forgiving then the UK, France and Sweden is on crime. Anyone can drive this. There’s no funny business anywhere. The engine like revs. This is an incredibly well refined car. It was so easy to drive.

Best lap: 02:29.038 (lap 2).

Positives:

• Rather decent performance for what it is.
• Handling that puts hypercars that have been tested to shame.
• No learning curve.
• Extremely easy to drive.
• Forgiving handling.

Negatives:

• It doesn’t provide “services” that one would expect from a car named Fisto.

Final verdict: Fisto is here to please you, whether you drive it like a normal person or like a felon trying to avoid getting arrested. An extremely driveable car. APDT Approved!

[Holts]

I sent a car a month ago. What happened