You can just DM me. I’m on the automation discord.
does it have headlight though?
1 Like
Its not road legal so it doesnt matter.
It has mood lighting under the table tho
3 Likes
BetterDeals EarthMelter 6000, Vaporizer of all Matter and Souls
Introducing the EarthMelter 6000, Vaporizer of all Matter and Souls, the next big breakthrough in food delivery vehicles! With it’s powerful on-board 14 tracks propelling it forth, it will ensure you that nothing will stop you on your deliveries!
Literally. Nothing.
Does something get in your way on your journey? You don’t gotta worry about a thing, the Lowering Obstacle Overcoming Pirouetting Habiliments Offering Leverage Enhancement will easily get you over anything!
We definitely added this out of the goodness of our own hearts without any obligation at all. It will make a difference for sure.
And here is the very safe, human, and easy to understand control room for the EarthMelter 6000, Vaporizer of all Matter and Souls! What do any of these things even do or mean? It’s not my damn job to figure that out. Go play with the buttons or something.
But what if the food gets cold along the way of delivering it to the valuable customers, you may ask? That’s where the Giant Fucking Space Laser™️ comes in handy; it’ll cook those suckers up in no time! Let’s demonstrate using this stack of delicious pizza.
So the first thing you gotta do is to first aim the Giant Fucking Space Laser™️ Once you think you got a clear sight of it, press a button to fire the Giant Fucking Space Laser™️ and-
HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Wow, it got warmed up just like that! It’s like it just came fresh out of the oven!
So what are you waiting for? Buy your restaurant chain a whole fleet of EarthMelter 6000, Vaporizer of all Matter and Souls, so you can provide the upmost excellence in delivery service today for the low price of $5 billion each!
Do it. You know you want to.
24 Likes
open your mailbox.
now.
About 2 days left to enter!
I’ve got entries from:
@Shimmel
@AMuteCrypt
@BradTheInhaler420
@JustARandomCrackhead
@ErenWithPizza
@happyfireballman
@TwistedUmbreon
@LS_Swapped_Rx-7 (god help us)
Cheddar
Ad but no car file from:
That’s all for now.
I myself might enter as well but the reviews wont count, of course.
4 Likes
Last day to enter!
Pizza time
A small fuel efficient “car” used for carrying food. To keep the food warm the compartment above the engine (in the rear) is insulated and used as a tray.
There isn’t much to say about this contraption, but it does get 80mpg, and has a top speed in excess of the speed limits. It’s driveable, surprisingly comfortable despite the basic single seat. It’s cheap to service and even has an 8track player so the driver can bump those tunes while on shift.
12 Likes
Entries are closed! Reviews coming soon.
Results
Willemstad, Curacao, 1980
On the beach, one R.C Ramanujan, design lead for BetterDeals, took a long swig of her flask, gazing upon the submissions that she now must evaluate. And with the EarthMelter looming over the others, R.C could only resign herself to the task she had at hand.
“Well, let’s get this over with…” she said, as she made her way through the parking lot-turned-outdoor showroom. At the very least, she had some easy eliminations at hand.
BetterDeals jupiter
No. Just… no.
This…thing is an affront to my eyes. And not only that, this is just a shitbox underneath.
If I actually wanted one, I would have simply rented one from the airport.
CEO's Thoughts
Why? Why did you do this? You are disgracing our name! There is absolutely nothing good about this except the majestic BetterDeals red.
This thing should launch itself off a cliff, but considering the tires on this thing are so tiny I doubt that it could find its way onto one. Offroading seems near impossible. So I guess just blow it up.
BetterDeals fokken vee eight
By @ErenWithPizza
This is just a boat with a table on it. How is this in a design competition for cars? Even if this supposedly has a kitchen underneath, how is this any more unique than a boat, or any better than a car?
This is just a boat with a table on it. How is this in a design competition for cars? Even if this supposedly has a kitchen underneath, how is this any more unique than a boat, or any better than a car?
CEO's Thoughts
The only reason we allowed this so-called “car” here is because they didn’t bother with removing the wheels from the original chassis in it. So really, a loophole.
It could have functioned well as an amphibious car, but no. You just built a boat. Not a car.
BetterDeals C U B E
You just put a grill in the back of a van. And the only way to use it would be to open the doors and stand outside. This is just lazy design.
CEO's Thoughts
I personally like this more than Ramanujan for one specific reason. It has no legroom. This makes it ideal for teaching your 0-5 year olds how to drive an automobile, and after enough training you can let them work! Everyone loves child labor! This vehicle is absolutely perfect for this reason and will be put into business in at least some capacity.
BetterDeals MERS 729E
By @Shimmel
You just put a tray on top of a sports car, and nothing’s secured? It’s a disaster waiting to happen, either from the tray or from the car breaking down.
CEO's Thoughts
/unCEO
This car was the only one made before the major re-do of the post, yet it’s not last. Good job.
/reCEO
This vehicle is very good for delivering animals to the kitchen. Imagine a tray full of iguanas! So useful, and since it’s a sports car it’ll get there fast!
I just have trouble believing that this would fit into the garage considering how wide it is.
BetterDeals Vanmaxxing
Okay, now this is getting somewhere. Strapping the engine up top is an interesting choice, but does allow for more space inside. But that horizontal length clearly only went upwards, even discounting the jet engine up top.
And clearly the designer expected the driver to be a parkour champion on the side, since the steps were place IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAR.
CEO's Thoughts
RAAAAAH YOU MONSTER! YOU GAVE IT DEFAULT PAINT!
This vehicle should go to hell. It disgraces all of BetterDeals with this horrendous, disgusting, terrible, and any other word for “bad” choice. Another IED is currently heading to your home and will explode by remote control.
BetterDeals Meals on Wheels
By @AMuteCrypt
Okay… the idea of a traveling restaurant interior is compelling, and the interior is surprisingly plush, especially given the small space it occupies. Though it’s a shame there isn’t much more substance to it.
CEO's Thoughts
Very good vehicle. But there appears to be one major problem. What’s it called… The kitchen! Where the hell is the kitchen! You have the whole restaurant without a kitchen! There’s no grill or anything either, it’s just seating! You could have just put seats on a car! It also uses a completely incorrect shade of red, but at least it’s red. So no extra IED for you. You tried.
BetterDeals Pizza Time
By @Riley
This is a tight fit, but it’s clearly function over form. Quite aerodynamic, and likely very fuel efficient, and they even thought of turning the engine bay into a pizza heater. Shame that you can only fit one in there, or else I’d rank it higher.
CEO's Thoughts
This vehicle appears to have very bad build quality. The rear is well done, but the seat is sticking out the bottom! My ass burns after testing it! I would sue you, but I’m feeling nice today.
I will say, the vehicle is quite fast. Dangerously so. I flipped it once and had to get the spare car. This would be terrible for the pizza! Poor pizza. Rest in pizza. Or something.
BetterDeals EarthMelter 6000
I admire the audacity to bring a death ray to a restaurant vehicle competition. And I have to admit, it does serve quite well as a restaurant, with ample storage space, a robust kitchen, and even restaurant seating. But that’d only be useful IF YOU CAN FIND ANY OF IT!
Regardless, I can see it appealing to a certain kind of restaurateur, one who feels the need to obliterate the competition. Shame that you can’t go anywhere without destroying anything.
CEO's Thoughts
This is a great vehicle. I have taken this one for personal use. Ever since i’ve had people in suits and sunglasses looking at me though, they must think I’m cool because I have an EarthMelter 6000! Thank you, I will “soon” send payment.
/unCEO
this thing is completely ridiculous. 1274 fixtures. Like come on. Ridiculous.
BetterDeals Weapon of Mass Delivery
By @Chaedder
I weep for the people who have to be in this thing, but it otherwise seems promising. Despite the god awful looks, it can cook and warm a shitzillion pizzas. And… I’ve been told that this thing has two drones?
CEO's Thoughts
Innovative seating position! It truly is genius to have the delivery driver hanging off the roof. This allows for so much space! Truly genius. I do have concerns about it’s vertical viability though. The height is quite… Uhh… Tall. I’d have to ask my government friends to make some taller bridges, because this thing would hit many of them. Consider placing a drill on it so it can just mine through them.
BetterDeals OMNI DEAL
Also by @Chaedder
(Continued from Weapon of Mass Delivery)
Oh right, this thing comes with two lil skateboards. And I gotta say, these things have wormed their way to my cold, dead heart somehow.
CEO's Thoughts
This is a very innovative vehicle. Like the CUBE, this is very useful for a specific age demographic. 5-20 year olds will enjoy this, as skateboarding seems to be a new trend with all the kids, so they can do a job while enjoying themselves with a pizza under them. Genius! Consider removing the engine though, I’m unsure of the safety of if the children can handle it.
BetterDeals Kitchen
This… is nearly perfect! For one, this is not just some version of red. And two, this has everything. Seats, a kitchen, and it even has a bathroom to poop in! Shame that there’s no sink as well.
CEO's Thoughts
IT’S NOT RED! INSTANT LOSS. You were the only one to not make a red car. You failed.
If this were red it would be up there with the best. The innovative design of the hydraulics to hold up the customers is genius, though I personally worry about the stability. The weight of the vehicle wasn’t mentioned in the menu we got, so we have no idea whether this would be safe to test. I considered testing it but the police stopped me before I even got in the vehicle. They say it’s too wide to be allowed on the road.
BetterDeals DeliveryCopter
By @machalel
…I need it.
But on a more serious note, this is probably the best of the designs here. From the various methods of high-velocity food delivery, to the built-in safety measures, to just the general flexibility of being able to drive, fly, and float, I think we have ourselves a winner.
CEO's Thoughts
This vehicle will immediately go into production. I bought 2 for myself. I plan to attack Aruba using this vehicle by dropping boiling soup on everyone. The government will surrender.
With all the reviews and inspections done, R.C Ramanujan took a long swig of her mystery flask. Satisfied in her own assessment of the entries, and with the CEO having given his input, the prototypes were hauled off to the BetterDeals HQ.
Some would be blown up as target practce, of course. But other would be repurposed for other uses.
Final Rankings
12 - @TwistedUmbreon - jupiter
11 - @ErenWithPizza - fokken vee eight
10 - @JustARandomCrackhead - CUBE
9 - @Shimmel - Mers 729E
8 - @HappyFireBallMan - Vanmaxxing
7 - @AMuteCrypt - Meals on Wheels
6 - @Riley - Pizza Time
5 - @LS_Swapped_Rx-7 - EarthMelter 6000
4 - @Chaedder - WEAPON OF MASS DELIVERY
3 - @Chaedder - Omni Deal
2 - @BradTheInhaler420 - BetterDealsKitchen
1 - @machalel - DeliveryCopter
8 Likes
An appropriately unhinged conclusion to one of the most escapist (and hilarious) CSCs ever, with a worthy winner.
1 Like
Were number 2!!! wooo yeah!!! the deliverycopter and that death-ray, quite good stuff really
2 Likes
Expected result. Troll complete, return to HQ
4 Likes
This was really fun to follow
1 Like
I don’t know whether to be proud or depressed…
But i’ll think of something to try to redeem myself.
4 Likes
I assume that this means that you will be hosting?
2 Likes
yep 
First draft is up!
I’ll fill in the blanks, but wanted something up first.
2 Likes