36 entries? That’s a huge field, and even after discarding all the ineligible entries, I expect plenty of cars to be left over.
1 Like
That is quite a lot of entries. Hope my ‘literally a race car that gained leather as it left the track’ passes the first round at the very least.
1 Like
Praying it avoids the flames
2 Likes
Ready to be binned! 
2 Likes
CSR bins are the modern equivalent to public executions. Can’t wait to get guillotined in front of everyone else.
17 Likes
I read this and came to the conclusion that any sane and logical person would obviously think: “Por qué no los dos?” but with more Italian unreliability! 
Getting ready for it to catch on fire itself, no dumpster required 
2 Likes
“Dumpster fire” is among my favorite expressions in English.
3 Likes
“First time?”
"It got so bad that Fellolli issued a formal diplomatic complaint, Mercurial Binz declared a flat refusal to consider any bespoke work from Dalluha, and Bucazzo sent, as a gag of sardonic protest, a V24-powered triple-cowl phaeton with a live string quartet in the rearmost cabin, the girthy bodywork shaped to astonishing anatomical detail - down to exposed exhaust runners depicting throbbing veins - that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. "
Company background
Dalluha Coach & Motor Works was formed in the 1930s as the government’s regulatory response to a distinctly Dalluhan trend. Starting in the early 20th century with the Sultan himself, it became fashionable to order bespoke automobiles from world-renowned automakers elsewhere, much in the manner of the Sultan of Brunei in more recent history. Early customers were car enthusiasts and reasonably knowledgeable, but as the fashion spread to mere trend followers, more and more orders were attempted for what was poor taste at best, if not outright automotive nonsense.
It got so bad that Fellolli issued a formal diplomatic complaint, Mercurial Binz declared a flat refusal to consider any bespoke work from Dalluha, and Bucazzo sent, as a gag of sardonic protest, a V24-powered triple-cowl phaeton with a live string quartet in the rearmost cabin, the girthy bodywork shaped to astonishing anatomical detail - down to exposed exhaust runners depicting throbbing veins - that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
This spawned a job opportunity to translate clueless customers’ fanciful whims into realistic specifications, suiting all parties involved: the customer got a usable result, the automaker was spared from hearing one Homer after another request the impossible or absurd, and the “translator” got a healthy commission.
Eventually, a logical enough question was asked: we’re designing them here and buying them here, so why not build them here too?
Per a royal decree, a disused oil rig factory/drydock in Al Qihas, an agricultral engine factory south of Daatmer, some miscellaneous facilities elsewhere, and a final assembly plant in Kheesad came together such that in January 1936, DCMW was formally founded. Just over a year later, in a lavish and well-publicized ceremony on a declared national holiday, the very first non-prototype Dalluhan-made car - a 1937 Marqaba finished in jet black over crimson bison leather - was driven from the exit ramp at the Kheesad plant to the front door of the Onyx Palace in Basara, piloted by none other than its chief resident, His Cromulent Excellency, the Sultan of Dalluha.
Aside from tires, all major components were designed, manufactured, and assembled in Dalluha - a huge point of national pride. Rumors of the Sultan’s heavy foot kicking the corpulent Marqaba to 150-250kph - depending on who you asked - did nothing to dampen enthusiasm both in Dalluha and abroad, nor did breathless reports of the song out of its triple tailpipes, which one journalist called “a sublime symphony simultaneously of heaven and hell”. The mood in the country was elated, orders ballooned into a three-year waitlist, job applications for everything from janitors to senior executives overwhelmed HR staff for months, and a long-procrastinated engineering school got a shot in the arm and matriculated its first students later that year.
The off-with-a-bang success was in no small part due to the patronage of the Onyx Palace - the Dalluhan royal family supported DCMW financially, morally, and in some cases professionally, with many of its numerous members becoming designers and engineers. A reorganization in 1949 saw Prince Abdalla al Mordeni, sixth in line for the Dalluhan throne and the valedictorian of the engineering school’s first year of graduates, become CEO. Despite skepticism of this young and socially inept math nerd’s corporate leadership, by 1952 DCMW had weaned itself off its initial funding source - vast reserves of oil money - and was turning a profit despite most analysts’ predictions that its business model was impossible: the company made only large, expensive cars powered by thirsty and expensive V12, and made no attempt to sell outside the tiny domestic market. Yet year after year, somehow more Luxury and Luxury Premium buyers lined up for a Marqaba, Al-Sayaadim, or Sharriallat than were supposed to exist at all, opening their wallets from 30k to deep into six figures.
Perhaps the party would have burned out indeed, if not for a series of sobering events in 1955. In early June, Prince Abdalla and his Sharriallat Supremacy happened upon the aftermath of an overturned oil tanker on a steep mountain pass west of Basara, and ended up a flaming wreck at the bottom of a canyon. Not a week later, the infamous accident at the 1955 24 Hours of LeMans put further dents into the automotive mood of the time. In August, a refinery fire resulted in an unprecedented fuel shortage in Dalluha, and suddenly the unprintably bad economy numbers of DCMW’s models were called into question. On a brighter note, a trade delegation to the West returned with reports of a very positive reception of DCMW’s models at various auto shows, adding much momentum to the calls to export.
In response, the interim CEO issued a series of directives: improve fuel consumption; saw the V12 in half and market all models with an available L6; begin development of smaller and more affordable models; and begin exports to the West.
Model background
In ancient Dalluhan mythology, the Sharriallat are a reclusive, solitary race of beings that wander the desert on one or another quest, and allow nothing to stop them - sandstorms, bandits, or any other misfortune. To credit was in part their character and personality - driven, determined, resilient - and in part their preparedness, carrying a large rucksack packed with mundane and magical items for seemingly any occasion. The expression “may you travel like the Sharriallat” remains in modern Dalluhan as an emphatic form of “godspeed”, while “to impede the Sharriallat” is the equivalent of “a fool’s errand”, and “pack like the Sharriallat” is “bring everything but the kitchen sink.”
As one of the two initial models developed by DCMW, the Sharriallat was intended for one or two people and a sizable load of cargo. It quickly found its strongest appeal among young singles and couples, especially more solitary types (more social types would choose the Marqaba sedan or one of the later models) and became part of a national caricature: a spoiled rich young adult lone wolf behind the wheel of a Sharriallat, the back filled variously with life’s possessions, camping equipment for a weekend, or just a bunch of booze, on their way from one adventure to the next. While later generations, including the better-known rebadge Norðwagen Fenrir, were shooting brakes, the bodystyle of the first generation was a development of 1930s and 40s business coupes, similarly intended for long-range comfort for one or two people and a lot of stuff, but with the cargo area integrated with the cabin.
The Mk.1 established several design features that would persist across all generations:
- Three doors, front engine, medium-large (2.6-3.0m) wheelbase.
- Primarily a two-seater, though some models have optional folding rear seats.
- Frameless doors, B pillar retracts with opening rear window.
- Four-wheel independent suspension - front double-wishbone, rear varied depending on generation.
- Aside from some special editions, hydropneumatics, initially licensed from Citronne, were standard.
- Canonically V12, manual, and RWD, but L6, 4WD, and automatic became available c.1956. Flat-six and V10 versions were made as well.
- Roughly 60/40 comfort/sportiness, though special editions varied.
It also embodied features standard across all DCMW:
- At least four headlights.
- Central exhaust with triple pipes, tuned to play a perfectly-tempered triad at redline.
- Front vent windows for more comfortable open-window driving.
- Split windshield, though some export versions were made one-piece for stylistic reasons.
- Three trim levels, typically designated by the number of vents behind the front wheel. Some variation over the years, and lots of random special editions, but mostly what translates as:
-
- Standard. One vent, Premium market demographic, $20-35k approximate price range depending on era.
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- Superiority. Two vents, Luxury and to some extent GT and Muscle Premium markets, typically shares chassis with Standard, $40-70k.
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- Supremacy. Three vents, Luxury Premium, GT Premium, some Supercar. Typically its own chassis with the latest and greatest technology, or extreme quality, or both. Pricing on request.
Dalluha Coach & Motor Works presents…
The ultimate Bachelor’s Express: the 1959 DCMW Sharriallat
(Superiority Twelve trim, Western export edition)
There are more comfortable cars, but not by much, and they handle like galleons. DCMW’s carefully tuned footwork provides the highest sum of ride and handling, to encourage driving it long and often. The first-rate handmade interior, featuring pillarless electric windows and large dual moonroofs, further invites lengthy occupancy for those with the highest of standards.
There are more spacious cars, but for transporting yourself and one special someone, rear seats are a waste. Instead, seats that fold flat with the rear floor are perfect for a hot date. Also useful for avoiding post-festivity DUI.
There are better-looking… well, no, not really. Striking a balance between tasteless American excess and underwhelming European subtlety, DCMW offers a third choice that will turn heads, not stomachs.
There are cheaper cars. That’s not why you’re here, is it?
There are greater cars, priced accordingly. This example is of our midrange Superiority trim. Those with the interest and the means may inquire about the Supremacy line.
Yes, Virginia, the windows all close.
11 Likes
Do you feel the weight of your sins? Does it hurt? Does god's judgement fill you with guilt? Torment? Or does it fill you with rage? :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire:
Announcement from the LA Auto Show
It is with great sadness that we must announce that several cars will not be able to attend this year's Los Angeles Auto Show, as we have encountered unforeseen circumstances no one here could have ever anticipated.
Just yesterday, we had the displays all lined up, ready bring awe to the show with the automobiles of tomorrow. But then, disaster struck as we watched a great number of cars disappearing before our eyes.
There is just nothing we could have possibly done; we just had to watch the masterclasses of design and engineering* be…
*most are far from masterpieces
RULE BREAKS
Meunier Stargazer
Binned for being over the budget limit. What a shame, as this was quite a good looker, with my favorite touch being the stars on the roof, and there were decent stats across the board. Oh well, the only light this sinner will see now are THE FLAMES.
Eldora AX16 Soarer
@Fayeding_Spray @DrDoomD1scord
It’s the future! As it has been binned for exceeding the techpool limit! I’m kind of disappointed but also relieved as it eliminates the need to explain how this thing could possibly be road legal. So much for being the car of the future, as- wait is that a fucking front solid axle!?!? What kind of contradiction is this?
Oh, unsurprisingly, it is also the heaviest, slowest accelerating (even with a massive V16), worst handling, and most undrivable car submitted, just to add salt to the wound. 
Boccaccino Angelica
Banished for attempting to be way too ambitious with the use of rear double wishbone suspension. If you begin to ignore the questionable aesthetics of this Italian sports boat, it actually has the highest comfort of all the submissions, with decent drivability as well. But then again, it is obvious why. Cheater.
Propeller Amerika
The Amerika ist alles andere als wunderbar, as it’s massive V16 has made it succumb to the flames for exceeding the techpool limit. This shooting brake would have been a nice and cozy ride with high comfort, but then it would drag your wallet down with it into the flames with it’s high price and low reliability, the latter of which made much worse with it’s outrageous service costs thanks to the V16 and radial tires.
Mont Royal Montcalm Tourisme
Consumed for both incorrect trim and variant years. Even with the enormous V16 engine, it would have been a pretty good entry, with the looks to back it up as well. What a shame it got binned, but sadly buying even a 1 year old car is for poor people.
Way to go guys, now all the V16 entries have been binned!!!1!
Platinum Panamericana
Ladies and gentleman, I present you possibly the worst case of breaking rules I have ever seen in a challenge. Because this…
DEEP BREATH
Has an incorrect engine variant year, uses DCOE carburetors (which count as race parts), is overbudget, uses a legacy body, and the following wouldn’t matter much, but since this shitbox is already beyond redemption, incorrect headlight sizes.
And just for fun, I went through the pain of downloading the legacy bodies and HOLY SHIT it is hilariously awful. There is just way too much to list but basically, the main stand out is the unholy DOHC 4 valve V8 that grenades itself with engine stress producing 400 FUCKING HORSEPOWER which is all sent to… medium tires.
And the worst part is, this is all after I allowed this to be resubmitted after jumping the gun before submissions opened. 
PLAIN HOT GARBAGE
Ironclad Automotive Fortis Deluxe
The 6 wheel shitpost you said you entered specifically to get binned got binned! Yay! I suppose I don’t need to elaborate much now, I mean it has 6 wheels and a 9 liter V12 just gasping for dear life through an eco carburetor. And now, it is gasping for life through the burning of the unholy flames.
Hemsley Comet HRX
snooooooore mimimimimimimi snoooooooooore mimimimimimi- Oh sorry, I was just struggling to stay awake over how unbelievably boring this thing looks.
Do you really think Raymond has a severe case of affluenza and would settle for a shitbox that is half the budget limit? Hell no! This is the kind of car he would just look down upon and mock.
Skyhawk Supersonic SCX
Sorry for the wrong kind of warm welcome, but unfortunately despite this car’s good looks, the engineering is… awful. First of all, it is well under the allowed techpool limits which is a major factor of what’s crippling the car.
Then, the most important stand out is the interior, which was the exact opposite of what would be expected for this massive luxobarge: premium interior and radio in something where luxury or hand made would be expected. Now it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it was sporty enough, but… what do you even expect?
In short, a clear severe underestimation of the target market.
Gazelle 242 GTC
And now, an even worse underuse of techpool that makes even the Skyhawk look overengineered, with 18 points across the engine mindlessly slapped on there with +3 all around. Then, in just the body and chassis, there is a whopping total of… eight points.
But the biggest problem of this lazy 30 fixture wonder lies in the horrible standard interior, which brings it’s comfort to dead last of all the submissions. Even with a high sportiness rating, it isn’t worth it all when the car is this bland and destroys your spine.
XF HABRAC DEL
Congratulations, you have made an even worse Bulgemobile. And this was supposed to be a showstopper? Pfft, yeah right. The only way this will stop anything is if everyone stops and laughs at it. I honestly can’t believe how, but this abomination has stats that could have easily been a top finisher, but then any single redeeming factor is tossed right out of the window once you get the displeasure of seeing this fucking thing.
19 Likes
Woo! Didn’t get instabinned. Now to get binned in the midfield because I chose to make my car as shittily small and economy-ass looking as possible in a desperate attempt not to straight up copy a Tatra.
Much luck to everyone else however.
2 Likes
Doesn’t say anything about DCOE carbs counting as race parts in the original rules post, so i bet anyone who used them on a euro style entry is screwed.
9 Likes
Hard concur. DCOEs have been used in street sports cars like, say, the Miura and many a Ferrari - and, of course, the almighty Matra Murena 1.6.
Plus they have non-race intake configs so by default they aren’t race carbs, end of
11 Likes
Somehow I survived the instabins, which means this is already my best performance in a CSR.
Sucks that I got instabinned but I’m also glad because it probably drove horribly in beam. That’s also the second challenge where I get binned/heavily criticized for my engineering choices. I think its trying to tell me something…
2 Likes
That’s so that if he crashes one, he can have brought a second one while still costing less than some of theses entries. That’s got to be good economic value, right?
In all seriousness, I prefer making ‘cheaper’ cars so I was out of my element here.
3 Likes
Though it won’t save that car from bin hell, I agree that this should have been properly clarified. Most hosts put it in the same category but they at least specify that they’re included, even though they shouldn’t necessarily.
5 Likes
I’m still standing!
My entry was held back from its potential for fear of instabin, but at least there’s its survival - so far - to show for it.
I swear I changed that… * cries *
dammit