Inspired by the Cop Show Car Supply challenge, here’s a similar premise, except we’re supplying the wise guys, not the good guys.
This is a new (AFAIK) format for challenges, a more realistic sales model. Entrants submit one or more cars under one or two brands, and all entries go into one common pool. The buyer(s) will, in character, visit all entrants’ dealerships and buy whatever they want, whether it was intended for the buyer and their purpose or not. There will be class winners and an overall winner, the latter determined out-of-character by the margins of the class wins.
The reviews are likely to be along the lines of JOC3C.
Background
The end of the Cold War brought down the Iron Curtain, opening up the border between the eastern and western worlds. Archana’s brutally authoritarian Chugunin regime was not known for its kindness or general sense of decency, but the same heavy-handed strictness that oppressed the population also kept tight reins on the criminal underworld - a centuries-old fixture in Archanan history - and while organized crime existed, for its own survival it had to be secretive and underground for decades.
Not anymore. With the collapse of the regime and resulting economic, political, and general chaos and dysfunction in Archanan society, organized crime not only flourished, but became visible, socially prominent, even daresay fashionable. Where previously a crime boss might be chauffeured in the back of a garbage truck - not because they couldn’t afford better, but to not draw attention to themselves - the rapidly swelling ranks of various gangs now found themselves with more income opportunities than they knew what to do with, little incentive to remain invisible, and much desire to make a statement with their cars. No more garbage trucks.
Three main factions are active:
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The Archanan Old Guard are the descendants of pre-revolution crime families in Archana. Conservative, old-fashioned, and generally wary of change and novelty, though of course they welcome the new circumstances that allow them to finally restore the high-status social image they enjoyed in centuries past. They prefer elegant classical styling, even retro/anachronistic, with medium bling and subdued, mostly greyscale colors.
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The Dalluhan Mafia are mostly disgruntled spoiled rich kids who didn’t inherit the family oil refinery, and thus miss out on the vast above-ground wealth pouring into the country. Dalluha continued to have a strong central government that keeps tabs on prominent citizens and ex-citizens, so the Mafia tries to keep a low profile, an effort that’s in constant tension with the Dalluhan fondness for bling and lots of it. Also a result of being Dalluhan, they are used to and can handle higher performance and lower drivability than most, and are the least frugal of the three. They have the highest standards for quality, and prefer bold colors, most of all Dalluha- and mafia-appropriate black.
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The Youngbloods are also disgruntled youth, but mostly poor Archanans with no other prospects to make a living. They have very little national and historical consciousness, and are the most openminded and change-flexible of the groups. They prefer loud modern styling, even futuristic/avantgarde, and are the most frugal, with the lowest standards.
“Go per Fix” = service costs relative to performance
“Go per Drink” = fuel economy relative to performance
All three gangs need the following two types of cars, plus a third unique to each one.
1. General Personnel Transport.
- Four full seats (more is better).
- At least two but preferably four doors.
- Sportiness to Comfort ratio 2:3
- Budget $30k soft limit, $40k hard.
High priorities:
- looks (“here comes money” and “here comes trouble”)
- reliability
- weighted sum of Sportiness and Comfort
- Drivability
Medium priorities:
- upfront cost
- Go per Fix
- Go per Drink
- passenger room
- Prestige
Low priorities:
- cargo room
- off-road
- safety
Example: Mercedes 400E
2. Big Cheese VIP Transport.
- Four full seats (more is not better)
- Four doors.
- Sportiness to Comfort ratio 1:5
- Budget $80k soft, $100k hard.
High priorities:
- looks (“here comes big money” and “here comes big trouble”)
- straight-line performance
- prestige
- passenger room
- weighted sum of Sportiness and Comfort
Medium priorities:
- drivability
- safety
- handling performance
Low priorities:
- reliability
- off-road
Example: BMW 750iL Highline
3a. The Old Guard like to have all their vehicles stylish, including the utilitarian ones, so they need a…
Cargo Schlepper.
- Two seats (more is slightly better)
- Enclosed body. Modified trucks ok.
- Budget $15k soft, $20k hard.
High priorities:
- reliability
- cargo volume
- load capacity
Medium priorities:
- looks (“here comes trouble”)
- off-road
- drivability
- upfront cost
- Go per Fix
- Prestige
Low priorities:
- Go per Drink
- Comfort
Example: Toon Patrol panel van from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
3b. The Dalluhans keep a relatively low profile, so rather than appearing in force everywhere, they’ve a need for a small, zippy…
Scout/Courier.
- Two seats (more is slightly better).
- Sportiness to Comfort ratio 3:1
- Budget $15k soft, $25k hard.
High priorities:
- overall performance
- drivability
Medium priorities:
- looks (“nothing to see here, officer… unless you look closely enough”)
- weighted sum of Sportiness and Comfort
- upfront cost
- Go per Drink
- Go per Fix
- reliability
Low priorities:
- safety
- off-road
- prestige
Example: Mazda Miata
3c. The Youngbloods’ main business is special product transportation, so they need a…
Wares Runner.
- Two seats (more is not better).
- Unlike the Old Guard’s cargo schlepper, this one needs to haul ass as well as its (much smaller and lighter) cargo, and be suited for long trips.
- Sportiness to Comfort ratio 1:1
- Budget $40k soft, $60k hard.
High priorities:
- reliability
- top speed
- weighted sum of Sportiness and Comfort
Medium priorities:
- prestige
- overall performance
- looks (they’re ambivalent; either “nothing to see here, officer” or “here comes money, fast”)
- Go per Drink
- drivability
Low priorities:
- Go per Fix
- upfront cost
- safety
Bonus: a 1.75m person being able to reasonably sleep in it. Some of those deliveries take days through desolate Archanan rural highways.
Example: Aston Martin V8 Vantage
Note that something which isn’t listed as a priority isn’t absolutely disregarded. For example, the VIP limo doesn’t list load capacity or cargo room, but if it bottoms out with a 50kg load, that’s not going to work. The cargo schlepper doesn’t list top speed, but if you submit a mining truck that’s geared-out at 50kph, that won’t do, either.
Summary of Priorities:
General: you may submit any number of .cars by DM. Post an advert. Ads with extra effort, creativity, lore and/or roleplay get extra credit. Resubmissions are allowed on a case-by-case basis. I’m generally lenient about those, and may also give revision suggestions to make for more competitive entries.
Stylistic realism expectations: 4/5, high but not absolute, plus a special allowance for futuristic/avantgarde for the Youngbloods, and retro/anachronistic for the Old Guard.
Mechanical realism expectations (aka the Cheese Limit): * 2/5, fairly relaxed, but the tolerances for minmaxing and cheesing are not unlimited. Carbon brakes at -10 quality? Magnesium-block V16 quad-turbo AWD 6-speed manual for the VIP limo? No problem. Fiberglass and a manual rack on the limo? 1940s safety? Will be sent back for a resub (first and probably second offense) or binned (third or especially flagrant first or second). Feel free to ask anything.
Naming: FC1 - your username [anything else you like] for Model and Family. Trim and Variant unregulated.
Year: 1990 or 1991 expected. Slightly older cars are allowed in order to accommodate entrants who have, say, a 1988 car and don’t want to revise their lore.
Techpool: default +5 everywhere.
Calculator overrides:
- Comfort will be recalculated with Torque, Gearbox, and Interior Volume penalties removed.
- Interior and cargo room will be measured with fixtures and evaluated subjectively for convenience of shape/layout. Passenger and cargo volume stats will be totally ignored, as they are quite inaccurate in the game, at least its current version.
- Off-Road stat will be ignored. Off-road ability will instead be evaluated subjectively altogether.
Engine:
- 91 RON unleaded
- 3-way cats
- No race intake, but race headers ok.
- Maximum loudness 45 for cars #1 and #2, 55 for #3.
- Maximum idle speed 1000rpm.
Advanced Trim Settings: unrestricted.
Other:
- No semi-slicks.
- Tires may end in 0 (will be interpreted as ending in 5, plus pressure, toe, caster, or other tweaks that aren’t in the game).
- No Race Diffuser.
- No SatNav (too much of a security liability).
Interiors: seats are required and will factor in to interior comfort and ergonomics judging, everything else encouraged. I would prefer entries to have more complete interiors, especially the VIP limo.
Deadlines: Submissions close 10/30/23.
Storyline: Archana in 1990 is a harsh environment, to a degree that few who grew up in the First World have seen, and we’re dealing directly with armed criminals. Participation is at your own risk of being offended by death, destruction, and various depravity.
Scrutineering: Similarly harsh will be the scrutineering, where very little will be binned but instead made to suffer the consequences of engineering and design choices, with the sole exception of the details of any forced induction setups. No rear window triangle? Windows can’t roll down. Zero cooling airflow? It’s going to overheat. Atrocious brake fade? Brakes overheat and catch the driver off-guard in one hard stop, resulting in more death, destruction, and so on.
