Freedom.
This is what the Helix Spyder brings to the tarmac - unadulterated freedom.
Powered by a big modern 5.2L V12, this is pure escapism. It’s AWD system is built to keep the car under control at all time, allowing you to push it to the limit… safely!
Don’t fear the reaper. Buy the Helix Spyder today.
Introducing…
The All New Atlas Aura GT Apex
using the new Apex Performance 3.6L V6 making 515hp
JOC1D-kilo_-_ATLAS_Aura_N4.car (112.3 KB)
THE NEW VAUGHN SILVERBIRD L-TYPE
580 HP OF GENUINE PUSHROD GLACIER-MELTING PURE MURICAN POWER! VAUGHN SILVERBIRD L-TYPE. LOUDER THAN YOU AND THAT SPEAKS FOR SOMETHING!
(Apologizes for being silly but I am not inspired to be serious anymore)
[Literally me when starting this challenge]
“Wow, I’d love to make a great high-end sports car, just like the kind Kieth’s always loved! There are so many possibilities, I don’t know what to do! All I do know is that I don’t want to make resemble his old SAETA, because targeting his nostalgia is too easy and boring a strategy…”
[One Car Design Later]
So anyway, here’s my Spanish, RWD, 2-seater, yellow Sports car! …oh. Whoops.
The 2013 Tartesso Choete
I swear, it’s mostly different mechanically.
The Paragon was Mara’s attempt at a ‘halo car’ in the mid 2000s after having to play catch up to the rest of the world in terms of car technology for about 15 years after the fall of the Closed Curtain.
As the car needed to be many things to many people on many markets, it was available with a wide range of options and combinations:
In 2013, as part of the first big facelift, the Paragon received Mara’s all-new DOHC engine line-up.
Even though the top regular V8 versions could already achieve speeds beyond 300 kph right from the beginning, there were also those variants that came about once Mara’s performance division AMM got their hands on the Paragon, including the GT racing homologation versions which I hope I will need for some challenges in the future. These variants usually traded comfort for performance, however.
Top-of-the-line SK interior with comfort-oriented seats, as opposed to the SE trim’s dedicated sport seats
2013 Bowmann R530t
$68,000
The NEW Bowmann R530t is the latest grand tourer on the market. Is it good? Well… it produces 480 Horsepower, it has a luxurious interior, and a 0-60 time of 4.6 seconds. And here’s the look of the car:
Swanson 337TSCX
Because nothing should stop you from making the school run in time, or putting uppity chavs and hedge fund managers in their place.
Yeah, it’s the good old 3.7 but for this all-new 2012 model we sent it to Hogwarts to put some go-fast twirly whirlies on the engine for a 2-6000rpm 600nm torque plateu, as apparently 400hp isn’t enough these days
It has AWD, a bunch of other 3-letter safety equipments and a Zeppelin-grade amount of airbags, so even if you’re enough of a knobhead to crash it on public roads you won’t get that Darwin Award. Good, clean fun for the whole family, all for about 75.400 quid. (5th seat is an 1100£ option)
Appearance of cars is what everyone lives here for, IMHO. And if you are a little short on styling, then no numbers will impress anyone. Perception is what matters in any car. When the design is appropriately shaped by the stuffing, then it becomes clear how to perceive the car, how to drive it, what to praise it for. But this is excusable, I have not been creating either hypercars or cool cars lately, due to the lack of suitable bodies. And vanilla forms do not really want to cover.
Now as you can see, would you miss one of these?
Corvidae Supercell P600
Alrighty, let’s tally up the entries with 24 hours to go. I see entries from:
@3000Miles
@abg7
@AndiD
@ChemaTheMexican
@Edsel
@GassTiresandOil
@interior
@karhgath
@Lanson
@Ldub0775
@Ludvig
@mart1n2005
@Riley
@xianxian2
And ads but no file from
@DuceTheTruth100
@FidleDo
@KILO
@Knugcab
Tell me if I’ve missed you
Introducing…
The Brand New 2013 Leksi GSXR
Boasting a 1.8L Turbocharged Flat 6 This Car Sounds Great and Disapears like smoke with over 220BHP
Find your local Dealer and get yours for the low price of 50K
Tiny car but I love those taillight innards
CLOSED FOR SUBMISSIONS.
I got additional submissions from the following users:
@FidleDo
@ItsWrench
@KILO
@Knugcab
If you made a submission but aren’t mentioned here or in the above 24-hour-warning post, please tell me so I can double-check.
30th of August, 2012
8:43 PM
Keith Phillips’ Residence
Keith: Oh, Jesus wept…
The barely audible mutter broke the silence in the family’s living room. Amanda, who was lounging on the couch after a busy Thursday, perked up to see her husband looking dejectedly at his Sixth Gear magazine.
Amanda: What’s wrong, love?
Keith: It’s this Apex car. Look at it.
Keith flips over his magazine, revealing a picture of the automobile in question.
Amanda: Fwaah. That’s one mean cabrio.
Keith: And that’s just the thing. It’s gorgeous, it’s a cabrio, it revs to ten thousand for crying out loud. I would skip the search and just buy it here and now. Problem is, the reason the car’s in the mag is because it’s just come out and there’s already been two fatal crashes. The airbags won’t deploy.
There’s a moment of silence as Keith grimaces, letting the revelation sink in.
Keith: Carelessness is what this is. Car’s amazing looking, but I’m not gonna buy something that hasn’t even been tested properly. Such a shame.
(Binned for exceeding ET limit: Value is 170.7 against an allowed 170. There was also the minor issue of ‘Clone’ being in the model and family names, but I would have forgiven that if not for the ET gaffe. Ldub, I love your cars, I love this car, but you’ve got to start checking your entries before you send them in. It would probably have been a finalist, you know.)
Keith: Here’s something funny, though. Have a gander at this.
Flipping over to a page he was holding onto with his thumb, Keith reveals an article about an emissions scandal involving several kit car manufacturers.
Amanda: What’s that got to do with anything?
Keith: Well, I figured you’d be terrified of me trying to get some mad racing car, but it looks like I’ve got nobody to buy one from anymore… Those poor bastards have been nicked for using surplus engines from a few years back, with no emissions equipment on’em. Leksi especially is in hot water, it looks like they aren’t going to be making any GSXRs anytime soon. Look here.
Amanda leans forward to look at one of the pictures in the article - a small, mean-looking orange track car.
Amanda: You… Weren’t thinking of buying one of those before, were you?
Keith: Nah, not seriously. It looked pretty intimidating, but it’s years behind on development and refinement. Plus, I’m not looking for a track day special.
(The design was made by somebody relatively new to Automation - or at least making Automation cars - and it shows, with a sub-40 unadjusted drivability and such an impossibly rich tune that this 2600-lbs car only gets 14.5 mpg-US. The instabin, however, comes from breaking two rules: the car trim and engine variant years don’t match, and the car rides on semi-slicks. That last one is forgivable because I failed to clarify that semi-slicks are a racing part, but nobody else made this error so I’m counting it.)
Keith: One I was considering, though, is this Bowmann car. As you can see, though… Same scandal. Bowmann were actually the only real, proper carmaker to get caught up in this. What’s more, it’s got terrible economy.
Amanda: Huh. Jen’s mum drives a Bowmann estate of some sort. Either way, it’s no big loss - there’s probably two dozen other coupes you’d probably like.
Keith: Actually, I’ve got just the one. Lemme just find the page…
(Another race parts bin: This car’s got Turbo Race Headers. ‘Race’ is literally in the name. I guess it just goes to show that you can never write out a rule clearly enough. As stated in-character, the Bowmann also falls victim to a turbo engine with a poor tune; somebody should really make a tutorial for those.)
As soon as Amanda sees the car in the magazine, she reaches for her iPhone in a bit of a panic.
Keith: Something the matter, love?
Amanda: Oh, not much. Just another life-threatening bug.
Amanda gestures to her phone, which is showing a Guardian article on the Supercell’s teething issues.
Keith: The Guardian? Please don’t tell me you’re listening to any of their whinging…
Amanda: This is serious, Keith! None of their stability controls work! The MOT is investigating them for fatally glitchy ABS systems!
Keith: Oh. Well, nevermind then. Guess they’re right this time 'round.
(If there was ever an obviously malicious minmax, this is it. A -8 quality on Driver Assists, which shaves a whopping AM$4100 off the vehicle’s cost. Without the negative quality here, it would have been AM$3500 over the limit. No wonder I thought it was too good to be true when I received it… Yoooouuuu’re fiiiiiirrrrrred!)
It’s been a while now, any updates?
Soon. Friday or weekend, probably. Substantial judging done
4th of September, 2012
7:58 PM
Keith Phillips’ Residence
Amanda: Sooo… It’s been a while since we’ve talked about your new car plans. When are you actually going to make a choice? All you’ve been doing after work is watching the telly!
Keith turns around in his chair and quirks an eyebrow as the TV speakers boom out Jessica, heralding a Sixth Gear episode
Keith: What are you on about, love? I am making a choice!
Amanda: Oh, dear God. I’ll get the popcorn ready.
The show begins with the lead presenter - a bloke known as Carlson - testing a gaudy, blue sports coupe. After an initial round of praise for the car’s responsive engine and overall sporting merits, the showman begins to pan the car’s lack of taste.
Carlson: You’ve probably noticed the glaring problem with the Shrike by now - after all, you’ve been looking at me thrashing it round our track for a while now. What are those proportions? It’s stubby, like one of those poor pug creatures, and it’s got no arse. The wheels and arches don’t help, either - they’re so huge that it looks like the aforementioned pug has got Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pectorals for legs! Anyway, expect to see one in your resident footballist’s driveway any day now.
Amanda: I’m not sure if…
Keith: You said it. I’m not sure if I want to be spotted within 200 feet of that thing.
(The car is very strong in stats and pretty good value for money, but I couldn’t bring myself to assign even close to a positive score in the looks department. Just looks wrong, honestly. For that, it’s out.)
Following the conclusion of the opening review segment and the customary studio banter that follows, the presenters move on to car news for the week. Maynard and Hamlin, the show’s resident gentleman weirdo and hothead racer respectively, lead the segment off.
Maynard: Right, the news. The Swanson 300 continues into Model Year 2013 unchanged.
Hamlin: So it still looks like a ball? Good to know. I was afraid I’d start liking it.
Keith: They read my mind sometimes.
Amanda: Hey, I don’t think it’s that bad!
Keith: Says you. I don’t want my feel-good car to look anything like a Celica, thank you very much.
(The engineering part of this car is really good - better, in fact, than the Shrike. Built atop a 2-door sedan body, though, this one looks even less convincing as a sports car - I mean, it almost looks front-drive. A shame, too, as the red accents did give off a nice and sporty vibe at first glance.)
Carlson: There is an alternative, though - here we have a Spanish sports car. Hardtop convertible, ten cylinders… But half as many gears.
Hamlin: You do start to wonder, what’s the point of a smart double-clutch gearbox when it has less ratios than your typical manual? Matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a single DSG that doesn’t have a sixth gear.
Amanda: …Ba-dum-tss!
Keith busts out laughing
(Another weird car. While I’ve had the characters focus on the lack of gear ratios, the real dealbreaker was the poor handling. At least in this case, the poorness comes courtesy of some potentially murderous oversteer. THRESHOLD BIN - LOW HANDLING)
Hamlin: Ooh, now here’s something exciting. The Vaughn Silverbird-
Carlson: Oh, Lord.
Hamlin: …Now has a twin-turbocharged version called the L-Type. Pretty much supercar performance, for a fraction of the price! And it actually handles, too.
Carlson: No, no it doesn’t. I will give you that it has a decent grip limit, but the suspension is still pretty obviously floppy. I’ve seen better come out of American leaf springs.
(Sorry, friend. But you’ve fallen into the same easily-avoidable hole as everybody else who’s made a car that’s way too cheap: I didn’t put a best-value clause into the brief and that was intentional. The chassis is more than salvageable and a higher purchase cost could have been justified by a track pack and a luxury interior trim, or something. Shoulda done that and gotten way more points.)
*Maynard: More exotic news: the Zephorus Focoso now has a renewed interior spec with what seems like the most advanced satnav on the market.
Carlson: Yes, but it’s still a nigh decade-old car made of thinned Corvette shavings, nothing is going to make that interior comfortable. Couldn’t even put a Sixth–.
Hamlin: Shut up, I made that joke first! Either way, that basically concludes the news for this week.
Amanda: I have to say, the Focoso looks absolutely gorgeous.
Keith: Well you’ve heard them: it doesn’t drive gorgeous.
(This car is the second-most beautiful in this competition, the best still being Ldub’s instabin. The problem is, it has a couple of holes one can pick in the design - again, including a horrendous gear gap. which doesn’t allow for quite as good acceleration compared to the fiercest of its rivals. In addition, it has a lot of weight optimization on top of an already fiberglass body, leading to much compromised comfort. As such, it does not progress.)
Keith and Amanda take a break from their informal analysis as the show gets to its main event: A cheap-car challenge for used Arlingtons. Hamlin actually wins for once, with his mid-trim 1987 Foxhound beating out Maynard’s practical but boring Airacruiser and Carlson’s quick but thoroughly battered and flagging Antares SRX. This main segment is also broken up by an unremarkable Well-Priced Car interview. Maynard then conducts a road test of a new Schnell supercar - which doesn’t go all too well, with the ponderous presenter complaining of unacceptable fuel economy and bad road feel. Back in the studio, it faces one final test.
Carlson: All that’s left for the LX50 is to see if it at least does well on a nice, dry test track - which means handing it off to our resident racer. Rumors abound that when he punches people, they don’t make a huge scene out of it that results in millions of pounds in losses - and that he has a third eye on his left buttock. But to us, he’s a total Enigma.
The Schnell at first looks like it will set a brisk lap, taking rather well to the Petrolhead turn - before the Enigma loses it in the fast Drive-through corner and bins it arse-first into a tire wall.
Maynard: Hold on, that wasn’t supposed to happen. When’s the last time the Enigma’s binned a car?
Carlson: God, it’s been years. I think he did it with that one Swedish hypercar or what not. Oh, no… Anyway!
Amanda: You didn’t like that one, did you?
Keith: Let me check… Nope. No no no no no.
(Yeah, this one was never really going to pass muster. The richest fuel mixture here - with a 79-octane tune, mind you - the worst oversteer, and 250-section rear tires. The TRX has been dead for 25 years when this challenge is set!)
After the debacle with the Enigma, the show returns to the studio.
Carlson: Tonight’s show is all about sports and supercars like the AMS - or, hopefully, better than it. However, our deal with the insurance company fell through after, uh, that, so we’re just going to have to use yet another gimmick wall that we totally won’t kill off by next week. And with that, say hello to the Super Wall!
The crowd of Subaru owners cheers mindlessly.
Maynard: Quite. Now, the way this works is: each of us puts forward some supercars, and we decide on whether they’re mundane or monstrous. For example, this Apache coupe is monstrous.
Hamlin: Eh!?
Maynard: You shut up, Hamlin. This has got a twin-turbo V8 engine, magnesium wheels, and a top speed well in excess of 200 miler per. It’s monstrous.
Carlson: That’s stupid. I’ll give you that it’s fast, but what this really is is a regular Trillk with the back seat removed and no speed limiter. It’s still got its comfort-oriented active body control, and a cushy, heavy interior. Give me that.
Carlson snatches the Trillk photo from Maynard’s grip and slaps it into the mundane section.
Keith: You know what, I rather like that. Big car, lots of comfort, still outruns most things on the road.
Amanda: Honestly, I’m surprised it can do 200. Looks like a couch to me.
(This car is a strange case. In most areas it’s simply a better Shrike - and while it does cost more, this is not a value-first competition. Like the Shrike and the Swanson, the car’s weakest point is the looks - basing a 216-mph 2-seater on the 2-door sedan Tezda body just doesn’t work. It’s a good effort and would have benefited greatly from Keith’s multipliers if it ever got to the test drive stage.)
Carlson: And it’s the same deal with the super version of the ATLAS Aura. Big turbo-V6 power, no restrictions. but it’s still a fettled-up sedan platform. They didn’t even remove the rear seats from this one.
Maynard: I’m actually with you on this one. My problem with the Aura is that for all the upgrades it comes with, the tires are hopeless. They limit the car’s acceleration, and it spins round whenever you approach the limit.
Carlson: Which is something you surely have plenty of experience with, General Glacier. We’re in agreement, then: Aura N4, hopelessly mundane.
Keith: I’ve looked at the N4 on my own, actually. All that money to get entry-level Tyrellis? Yeah, right.
(The Aura is a fun idea - I do love me a liftback - but not only is it far too large and GT-ish for the challenge with 116 inches of wheelbase and 5 full seats, but it also stumbles at critical engineering hurdles with its high-speed oversteer and harsh turbo lag. In addition, far too many resources are spent on weight optimization and balance. For all of those reasons, it’s out.)
Hamlin: Here’s a seriously monstrous car, though. The SC44.
Maynard: You’ve got to be joking. You of all people should understand the problem with that car. It looks American, it’s priced… Well, on the higher end of American cars, but it accelerates like a pig.
Carlson: I’m with Maynard on this one. Muscle cars aren’t serious sports cars anyway, but this can’t even be called a muscle car - It’s got this puny little 4.4-liter engine with just 330 horsepower and no torque. The one good thing about American muscle are the massive V8 motors they have, and the Durendal leaves that out, too. Instead it has an all-wheel-drive system nobody could possibly make use of. I think it shouldn’t even be on the wall.
Carlson tosses the SC44’s picture over his shoulder, hitting an Evo owner in the head. Keith and Amanda withhold any comments.
(One of several price and performance bracket misses in this challenge. Over AM$25,000 left unused and a vehicle that would have trouble overtaking a museum piece. Also, this isn’t the only car in the comp to have this issue, but the gear power gaps are horrendous and I might start smiting people for that in future challenges. THRESHOLD BIN - LOW HANDLING)
Hamlin: Fair enough, but here’s something properly rabid. The Peregrine Velocity Edition. V10, standard stick shift, meanest face this side of Hell. You can’t deny this one’s a banger.
Maynard: That’s more like it. You can take the top off, as well, though I wouldn’t recommend i. I tried it once and ended up looking like a wet dog by the end of it.
Hamlin: Yeah, mate, that’s just how you look. Either way, unless you’ve got any objections, the Peregrine is going into the monstrous column.
Keith: Now that there looks like some serious kit. I’ve read they’re seriously fast, too.
Amanda: Looks a bit too serious to me.
(A stellar car this time around. The choice of a detachable hardtop indicates some serious knowledge and confidence - some would have been to afraid of a bin - and the sportiness is through the roof.)
Hamlin: Now, we do want to get some audience participation going. Is there a current production car any of you blokes would describe as monstrous?
An audience member is heard screaming “The Mara SK42!”; Carlson immediately barges through the crowd towards the hapless man
Carlson: Who said that!? I haven’t heard hogwash like that in years. You mean to tell me that a 300-horsepower dishwasher capsule is your pick for the most monstrous car of all?
AM: It’s well-balanced, fast and reasonable priced.
Carlson: Well, maybe we should put Stallone in one and send him round our track, then. Honestly, I don’t know why we bother with audience participation.
Amanda and Keith have a hearty laugh at the old budget sports car and its lone proponent. The tension over Keith’s decision is mostly forgotten as the two kick back and enjoy the ride.
(Like the Durendal, a clear mismatch. The Mara costs AM$39,900 - less than half the budget - and has accordingly mediocre stats and performance. That it didn’t run headfirst into any of the stats thresholds - unlike the aforementioned Durendal - is a miracle in and of itself.)
Maynard: Honestly, I quite like the Novalina M300. And there’s really no question about it being vicious or not, because I almost busted my spine test-driving it three weeks ago.
Hamlin: Yes! The M300, especially the Carbon Sport, is a track-car masterpiece. a real champion of simplifying and adding lightness.
Carlson: I can’t argue with that, although that’s mostly because I can just barely fit in one.
Keith: And that settles that. None of them can stand how it rides, so there’s no way I could cope with it.
(I can really emphasize with the philosophy behind the Novalina, but in a competition with comfort as a 3-star priority, it’s downright unwise to build a car with comfort in the twenties. THRESHOLD BIN - LOW COMFORT)
Carlson: See, as a bigger man I think six cylinders just aren’t enough. Twelve is more like it - which is why the Helix V12 is still my favorite car of the year. The Spyder is downright splendid, too: because it’s a space frame design that doesn’t need as much reinforcement, they managed to keep the weight down. And that’s despite the all-wheel-drive.
Hamlin: Actually, that’s my problem. It’s not really all that visceral, is it? Can’t fling the back out as much in an all-wheel-drive. And that trunk will fit a golf bag, too.
Carlson: Right then, I’ll do you a deal. We’ll put it in the middle.
As Carlson slaps the Helix picture onto the mundane/monstrous divider line, Keith leans in to get a better look. The Helix is sounding mighty good.
(Perhaps the most well-rounded car of them all, but also the only one with the guts to use a V12 engine. High marks all around propel it into the finals comfortably.)
Maynard: Aha! I see your V12 and I raise you a V8 that’s bigger than it. Riemann LSGT, 600 horsepower, most powerful V8 ever put on the assembly line. Active aero, racing body control, light as a feather.
Hamlin: Monstrous. Definitely monstrous. I’d argue the Peregrine is still crazier, but this is up there.
Carlson: Tell you what, I’ll be honest. I really want one. Riemann doesn’t make good things like that every decade.
Amanda: It looks funny.
Keith lets out a soft chuckle.
(This is actually the sportiest car in the entire competition, and I’m here for it. And I know you’re trying to not ape Mercedes, but this thing would have looked much more flattering in a richer color than silver.)
The show ends shortly after.
Carlson: …And on that bombshell, we’re done for this week. Thank you and goodnight!
Sitting contentedly ad somewhat groggily on the couch, with Amanda half-asleep on Keith’s shoulder, the pair slowly come to their senses.
Amanda: That was honestly pretty enjoyable. What’d that have to do with your choice, though?
Keith: Well, the Riemann, FST and Octane all looked good to me. Three cars are a low enough amount that I could pull some strings and get proper, untethered test drives. You know, so I could bring you along and not the sales rep.
Amanda: Huh. Sometimes it scares me how you blokes can make a decision based off a limited set of random trivia.
Keith: Oi, where’s my thank you?
On that note of subdued banter, the two call it a day. Keith’s next order of business is to arrange the test drives of the three finalist cars on the next weekend.
@ChemaTheMexican
@karhgath
@Lanson
All advance to the test drive round, which should be out soon without the ™.
Any news?
