Shitbox Rally 2023 - Stage 14 (FINISHED!)

[Madrias]

Team Shift Happens

Prologue, Part 3
Powering Up
Driver’s Log 2
Drivers’ Meeting

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Stage 0 Camp, Arrival.

As the two huge trucks crunched through the snow on the road, 32 cylinders howling through the exhaust as the automatics kicked down to deal with the higher rolling friction, Kasiya aimed for a large space set aside for their main camp.

Kasiya and Takaraya bailed out of the cab of their respective HD-GV units, making their way quickly to the Carry All’s cargo section where their clothing had been packed. Takaraya saw Kasiya hesitating for a moment between just wearing his heavy winter clothing, or going for his armor, and said, “You do realize Kaylie wouldn’t let them in if they weren’t going to be safe to be around, right?”

Kasiya put his winter gear back in the box, pulled on his insulating under-armor suit, and stepped into his power armor, the solid clunk of 1100 pounds of metal surrounding him giving him a reassuring feeling. “Yeah, and yet Kaylie also told us to bring guns,” Kasiya replied, stepping out of the trailer and landing on the ground with a muffled thud.

Takaraya sighed, putting his winter gear on and joining most of the remaining team in the process of setting up tents. Kaylie looked over at him and back to Kasiya, then said, “Looks like Kasiya’s still a bit concerned.”

“Yeah, he was contemplating winter clothes when I mentioned you wouldn’t have let the cars run if they weren’t safe. That’s when he suited up,” Takaraya said.

Kaylie grimaced. “That was foolish of you,” she replied.

“You would let teams run who aren’t safe?” Takaraya asked.

“You think the Sinesian Rejects would survive if they crashed that welded-together aluminum bucket of theirs? Or that the Hillbilly Rollers are exactly safe? Or that half of these teams carrying guns actually know how to use them safely? Hell no,” Kaylie said.

---

Kivenaal, on the other hand, was busy setting up a target range while most of the camp was pitching tents. Still dressed in his gunslinger outfit, he stayed warm courtesy of his natural fur, even as he crunched his way through icy snow to set up several roughly-human-sized targets, including a few way the fuck out there for sniping practice, placed at 350 meters, for those inclined to give that a try.

He stuck a few tables down to make reloading less of a bitch at the firing line, as well as to make it more difficult to end up walking out into the field of fire by accident, then decided his range was good enough.

---

Kasiya, meanwhile, had taken up the task of putting the camp lights up, making sure they were spread out reasonably well, as well as ensuring the few outhouses placed around had a light nearby to make finding them in the dark easier.

He brought the numbered cable over to Norse, who plugged it into socket #2, and the camp immediately lit up a bit better as the lights came on. Takaraya arrived a moment later with cables #3 and #30, which were likewise connected, providing power to the Home Unit, as well as the Carry-All and the two refrigerated trailers respectively. The dull buzzing of the gasoline engines in the three refrigerated units went silent as the electric motors took over, while in the Home Unit, the heat exchanger’s fans spun up to speed to return the cabin to a comfortable temperature.

Jayde and Rukari worked together on making a simple campfire stew using some of the perishables they’d brought onboard one of the trailers, at least until the whole group was approached by the Speshul Forces and Constantin…

To Be Continued…

[That-S-cop]

Team Cunning Stunts

@GetWrekt01 and @That-S-cop

The Team

Zachary Kenway:
An unfortunate case of growing up in rural England and being far too ambitious, This son of a mechanic, with a penchant for driving quick, is the Team Leader and who got the rest of this gaggle of petrolheads together.

Liviana Harrington:
A Yorkshire girl with an interest in Zack and Automobiles, since Highschool Zack and Liv have been inseparable, working on cars and spending School events together.

Sophie Harrington
Liviana’s younger sister by 3 years, Her schtick is calculated risk and being barely on the correct side of the law, by all accounts she’s the 3rd wheel here.

Murray Harrison
Australian in Nature and Air-conditioning Serviceman in trade, Son of a Tamworth NSW Truckie by the name of Russell, His workvan is a K78 Masakari that he regularly takes trips out in with his Girlfriend to the outback.

Lana White
A Bondi Girl in the Bondi Beach Surf Lifesaving club, she’s practically entirely adrenaline and medical knowledge with a penchant for being quick on a Quadbike, She met Murray while in her Highschool years at a V8 Supercars event at Sydney Motorsport Park.

The Vehicles

Windsor Contra Utility - Dune Hopper

A Vehicle nameplate that hadn’t been in American Production in this model year, but existed in the Australian Market, Zack found this one in the UK and modified it for SR2023 accordingly with an engine swap, Suspension, Extra Tyres and Extra fuel.

VHT Supermobile - Sand Hopper

An ex Military Class 6 Crane truck, converted to use as a Stunt truck in the mid 2000’s then left at a Movie Production Junkyard in Broken Hill, Murray found this truck with help from his Dad after getting into contact with Zach. Effectively yanked from the junkyard, along with a Campervan stuffed on a rented Semi Trailer and trucked to a Workshop behind Russell’s Garlandale G500 (Pictured behind the vehicles), Assembled into a living quarters, and emergency medical bay on the behest of Lana, on Civilian Axles with extra spare parts from Murray’s Work van.

Chapter 0

Coming soon, delayed by Get Wrekt’s Schedule, will be plugged when this comes.

Chapter 0.5

Team Cunning Stunts after their arrival in the USA several days before the event started and screaming out to Nevada at the edges of the heat soak of the Tyres fitted.
It’s very Familiar but somewhat foreign at the same time, Mostly to the Australians in the Group, with rented Campers being as slow as the campers Murray finds on Highway 1, as Murray briefly re-enacts what his Dad used to do when he had a Cabover Garlandale Q104, Still very weird why Camper people drive so slow. In which the team arrive Arriving at camp on the meeting date by around 4:03 PM. Technical Inspection went slowly due to having to reconfigure the Left side Fuel tanks to be Manual Transfer tanks due to a Capacity item on the list, not a hard job for Murray, having brought all his tools in the Toolboxes.

Post not entirely finalised, But this is at least a Foot and several trucks in the wall. S-cop Out.

[Odyssey_Fan]

Team Sane Insanity

Part 0.3 Cars Have Their Own Opinions Too

Pre-Drive

Following the drivers meeting, Sane Insanity had a rush to pack up the camp and decide who would be driving. Of course, Andrew, who absolutely hates the KKR, volunteered himself out of KKR driving duty. Nathan does not tolerate any dissent towards the KKR, so he grabbed a roll of duct tape and began to drag Andrew to the KKR, kicking and screaming. Nathan then duct taped Andrew’s hands to the shifter and the steering wheel, turned on the ignition, and walked away. With only a few minutes left and neither of his hands being particularly useful for removing duct tape, Andrew had to drive the KKR. Nathan hopped into the driver’s seat of the Voyage, and the team patiently waited in line to set off.

Stage 0 Drive

The team began their drive in the Rift in varying degrees of misery. Andrew was going deaf and shattering his spine, as the KKR lacked any sound deadening and had a hard suspension setup. Nathan, who was driving the Roadmaster, was having a heart attack trying to not damage the car. Honking the horn at anyone who dared to get within 50 feet of the Roadmaster meant honking at everyone, getting lots of disapproval from the other drivers who did not understand this aggressive behavior. Multiple cars thought it would be an entertaining attempt to give the Roadmaster a tap on the side, or oblivious to the existence of a large block of steel. Eventually, things calmed down and Nathan tried to relax and enjoy the drive. However, courtesy of Cunning Stunts, that turned out to be impossible.

It was Raymond who noticed the VHT Supermobile.

“Uh, that truck is coming up fast and not slowing down.”

Indeed, the VHT Supermobile was barreling down towards the Roadmaster, getting much too close to comfort. At first, the team hoped that the truck would maintain some reasonable distance. However, it did not and the Roadmaster began expressing its discontent with some loud beeping, courtesy of the parking sensors.

“Hurry up and do something!” Raymond, now panicking at the close proximity of the truck and the possible damage that would be inflicted on the car.

“I’m trying, I’m trying” Nathan shouted back, doing absolutely nothing, boxed in on all sides.

The Roadmaster continued its own tirade at the Team Cunning Stunts, by increasing the volume of its incessant beeping.

“Turn it off, turn it off!!” shouted Nathan, trying to be heard.

Despite the clear instructions, Raymond instead grabbed the CB radio and began shouting into it.

“Cunning Stunts, back off please! We don’t need an accident right now.”

The only response appeared to be some snickering, but neither occupant of the Voyage could precisely discern what it was as the beeping got even louder and more frequent. At this point, Nathan just started pounding every single button at random, barely able to focus on the road. He succeeded in turning off all the driver assists and blasting the air conditioning before finding the parking sensor button. With no possibility of escaping, his only choice was to hold his speed and hope for the best. If the VHT Supermobile rammed into the Voyage, there would likely be a large pileup, and more importantly, lots of complicated and likely impossible insurance paperwork to deal with. Of course, multiple times, the VHT Supermobile came within millimeters of the minivan, but Cunning Stunts was somehow able to stop at the last second. Perhaps the VHT Supermobile had automatic emergency braking or adaptive cruise control, or Cunning Stunts had very good drivers. Despite whatever witchery Cunning Stunts was using, Sane Insanity was completely traumatized by this experience and spent the next hours watching the rearview mirror. They also spent the time reflecting on the poor choice to bring a rental car to a banger rally.

Meanwhile, Andrew was beginning to have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the KKR. Sure there was little in the form of creature comforts, it was fun to rev and had a great exhaust note… However, he was still hoping and praying that the car would break down so he could get some peace and quiet and take a break from all the growling, tire noise, and wind.

Raymond and Andrew began having a conversation about the KKR, attempting to ignore Cunning Stunts aggressive behavior, who were still ominously following in the rearview mirror.

“He is going to break that car” Raymond noticed, judging by the aggressiveness of Andrew’s driving.

“There is nothing that could break in that car, what could possibly go wrong?” was Andrew’s response. His prediction was then disproven with a loud clunking noise from the KKR and lots of vibration. The KKR immediately stopped in the middle of the road, with the Voyage forced to stop much further ahead, as they could not risk getting smashed by Cunning Stunts. Thankfully, Hillbilly Rollers broke down at the exact same time, so the entire convoy ground to a halt.

“Can someone please remove the duct tape?” begged Andrew, thankful that the torture had finally ended.

“No!” responded Nathan, finding the violation of the eighth amendment (no cruel or unusual torture) to be far more amusing. The KKR was then jacked up with Andrew still inside, breaking every rule of standard workshop safety.

Andrew began to take advantage of his wish coming true and took a nap, while Raymond and Nathan began to inspect the damage and remove the half shaft.

“Why can’t you let him help us” complained Raymond

Knowing waking Andrew would be a difficult and time consuming process, and having no other reasonable rationale, Nathan said “Do you want to try to wake him up?”

“Uh, no thanks,” Raymond responded before continuing to work.

This repair process took many hours, delaying the trip for everyone. Needless to say, all the teams were annoyed and frustrated, except those with their own breakdowns, and Team MAD, who probably got some amusing footage for their documentary.

After this repair, Andrew woke up again the moment the KKR was off the jack stands and on solid ground.

“How many minutes have passed?”asked a confused and sleepy Andrew.

Raymond consulted his watch. “240 minutes, give or take”

Additional driving took place after Hillbilly Rollers got their clutch fixed. It was the same drill, drive, drive, oblivious driver on the left, lose hearing, more driving. The cool weather of the Rift eventually gave way to the deep freeze of the aptly named Shiverwind Point. The pair in the Voyage were in relative comfort, Andrew had a new pain point to complain about the KKR, the surprising lack of any heating in the car. Eventually, the team rolled into camp, exhausted by the long day of driving, mechanical difficulties and being tailgated by a large truck. Needless to say, Sane Insanity had to do something about this. None of them realized that one of the possible solutions was “drive faster.”

[interior]

Team Not-So Slow
Chapter 2, Part 1.- The other side wants a chat with you.

---

narration is honestly amazing

As we were waiting in the starting area, The leading team (Shift Happens) gives the two of us the rings. It would be terrible if we lost them. Matt and Izzy get into the car, and then after hearing the announcements, especially the one Izzy should be more concerned about, although that was dealt with a long long time ago (in a galaxy far away).

“I’d like you remind you, Don’t fuck this one up too.” Matt says in a stern manner to Izzy, she agrees reluctantly. We then drive to the Shiverwind Point via the al-mighty Rift. Which would take us around 8 hours or something, As Matt is driving, he goes in there in a civillised way, to not alert the police,

Prior knowledge of the Rift allowed us to head in there with no problems (aka not turning it into a parking lot), Some time later, we eventually make it to camp, “The way we just go into the Rift, it’s like, something cool.” Izzy says to Matt. Matt then replies with “Waiting that year was worth it though, all the cars just parked here, Anyway…”

The team start setting up camp, As it gets cold outside, the two get changed into winter attire to comfortably stay at camp until next stage. Izzy shuts off the car so it could cool down after all that driving and then we set up the tent, and our sleeping equipment.

“Matt, you sure this tent is easy to set up?” Izzy asks him in a concerning way. Matt then reassures her with “Yeah, it’s actually just as easy as installing a standard tent, although the pegs are stronger and that. Oh and here’s one light for if we need it in the tent”. He hands it over to her, she then takes it and installs it, hanging on the tent roof.

Izzy: You sure you haven’t fucked up the car driving it like that for a bit Matt?

Matt: No, i’ve seen people drive cars far harder and theirs are still intact, we should be good.

Izzy: Might make this thing somewhat more aerodynamic to save fuel economy. Anything beats 60 dollars a gallon

Matt: We’re driving a small car, girl. Besides, it’s only gonna do what, a small amount of duct taping the panel gaps and maybe putting dinner plates on the wheels?

Izzy checks the trunk, and realises we’ve only got around 5 sets of duct tape and some sellotape for when things go wrong.

TO BE CONTINUED.

[SurrealCereal]

MACHINAS CON PASSIONE’S SHITBOX ADVENTURES, TAKE 2: Misery and Happiness

9:58 AM
Shitbox Rally 2023 Nevada camp

The time had finally come, though the wait for the members of MCP had been less exasperating then it had been for most teams, with the nature of their operation being more ramshackle then most. This cobbled together attitude was no more present then, two minutes before they were scheduled to race, Johnny Scarfiotti, driver of the Faenza Spirito and the guy who the teams entire hopes were pinned on, was struggling to get dressed before the stage, hobbling outside the Blue Wonder in his boxers as he desperately scrambled to pull his pants over his leg, with his foot being caught in his pocket and him being seconds from collapsing over, running the risk of getting sand into places he’d be trying to wash it out of for weeks to come. For a man with locks as fluffy as Johnny’s, it’d be a death knell for his killer looks.

Johnny stopped to ponder if he could pull off the “sand dusted beach himbo” look of the late 2000s for a moment before remembering he had around 57 seconds to get into his car and ready to race, managing to win the war he’d waged against his own pants just in time for a rival team driving past to catch him wriggling his eyebrows at the camera they had pointed his way before he slipped into his shirt and sprinted for the Faenza. Good thing they didnt see his heart boxers.

7:00 AM
Shitbox Rally Nevada Camp

Giacomo, in contrast, had actually waken up early and had gotten dressed, a herculean task accomplished with no small amount of help from Alessio and Hikiko effectively babying him. The two were renowned workaholics, a sharp contrast from the idiot savant status Giacomo had carved out for himself, being able to provide the results of his father without the work ethic or skills outside of making engines go fast.

Alessio and Hikiko actually spent most of the morning fine tuning and performing final checks on the F5000, though Hikiko had suggested the idea as a way of getting close to the hefty V8. “You know, most of your designs seem to obsess over pushrod designs. Was it your way of prioritizing low end torque and getting ahead of your competitors? I imagine they had a hard time beating you off the line.” Hikiko poised to Alessio, hoping to gain some insider knowledge on how the mind of a renowned genius worked. Though they had worked closely together over the past decade or so, the two rarely crossed streams, preferring to allow each to work at their strengths with little overlap. Alessio scratched his head at the inquiry, though.

“Well, I just really like cramming big engines into small spaces. The torque is a bonus, but when I started, OHV engines weren’t really being taken seriously in europe, so I would make these huge 7 or 8 liter engines and shove them in the back of whatever I was racing. I actually did get alot of torque doing it, but the main idea was just making a big engine because I could. You can imagine that I busted more than my fair share back in the day.” Hikiko smirked, and reached into the engine, opening the throttle and letting the engine redline for a brief moment, the smell of kerosene peforating her lungs as the v8 roared to life, clearly unaffected, on an audible level at least, by the switch in fuel.

“You know, in all of my years of F5000, I never ended up replacing this one, I didn’t really have the budget since it was more of a side hustle thing for me. Just rebuilt it if it broke, and here it is, at the Shitbox rally. 50 years actually, to the day that it was first built.” Hikiko ran her hand through her hair, not sure if this was the peak or the low point for the little engine that could. All she could muster at that revelation was a faint “Huh.”

Giacomo, meanwhile, had started working on his technical drawings, sketching out in minute detail the exquisite, box inspired design of the Spirito. Though originally intended as a cheap option for Italian families to drive cars that actually functioned on a day to day basis, it’d instead been converted to a lightweight, power-mad chihuahua of a car. As simple as the design was, Giacomo had wrapped up his drawing of the exterior, pretty accurately conveying that rather than straight lines, rather than being an aesthetic choice like they are in most cars, were the only choice made here. Boxes into boxes and boxes. With around 0.5 seconds of consideration for the full business suit he was wearing, Giacomo quickly dove under the car, sketching all of the intricate details, which he would likely look back on once and never again, such is the mind of the man we all come to know and… Love? Loathe? Some weird mixture of those two things.

Ryouchi, in contrast to everyone else, was still moping about. He’d awoken much earlier than other members of the camp, and spent the morning doing his daily exercises, a habit gained during his recovery over the past few months. A 5 mile run, pushups, which weren’t really an option, so were substituted with 5 more miles of running, squats, which would nomrally be substituted with 5 miles of running, Ryouchi had already jogged 10 miles from camp with around 2 hours to get himself back to camp or risk being tardy for the first stage. After jogging 9 miles, Ryouchi came to a stop at a slight hill, overlooking the camps of the 29 teams who’d showed up to this years edition of the rally. His first thoughts, of course, turned to MCP, the team responsible for his continued employment as a racing driver. Ryouchi took as seat as he contemplated his place, not only in the team but in the world as well, though he normally strayed from thinking about the future much, the picturesque Nevadan scenery and runners high that now blanketed both his mind and body gave him a moment of clarity, as he took a breather before returning to camp.

Ryouchi thought of the past. His mother, Hikiko, a great racer in her own right, was both the best and worst thing about his career. Thanks to her connections, Ryouchi was able to climb up the motorsport ladder while he watched his friends and peers drop out, fail to make the cut or just quit altogether. 19 years of racing, 19 years of time, money, effort and dreams of getting into Formula One. The big show, the number one symbol of opulence and success in the racing world, but when the time came to perform and show up? It turned out Ryouchi and his friends were more alike than he thought. 3 years later, and 5 million dollars of spiraled down the drain. And yet, his luck never seemed to run out, all thanks to a well timed vacation. Everything seemed to fall into his lap then, a basically guaranteed seat in NASCAR, all he had to do was finish races, and finish Ryouchi did, but not much else. Flash forward to last year? 10 wrecked racecars and Johnny winning his first race later, the writing’s on the wall. Maybe being a co-driver wasn’t so bad. Or a businessman, maybe a college student or some bum. Surely there was something Ryouchi was cut out for outside of the racing scene. A deep sigh later, Ryouchi found himself turning hisattention away from MCP’s hopes and dreams for the moment, looking into the distance, revealing all manner of vehicles who would now serve as competitors, rivals, and maybe, just maybe. Friends. “Welp. No use moping around.” Ryouchi broke the silence, his words matted by the carpet of sand and dust that surrounded him for miles to come. Ryouchi stood up, taking the chance to slide down the embankment he found himself on, and nearly careened right into Johnny as they prepared to enter the rift, and to start the long journey ahead.

Shitbox Rally 2023 - THE RIFT

@Madrias

For those returning from the year before, driving into the Rift was, well, not exactly a routine experience, but at least vaguely familiar. For the new ones, it was surprisingly nerve-wracking, having to drive into an oversized metal shed that was clearly not big enough to hold half of one of the giant trucks, a shed they’d all had a chance to wander around and look at, a shed that now opened up into a vivid, dark-blue portal.

Giacomo, having entered the year prior and fully anticipating the rift would shake the nerves of his teammates, decided to, among many things, not mention a single word about the interplanetary rift they’d need to travel through in order to actually participate in the rally itself. As such, most of the essentials such as bug spray and Johnny’s birdwatching manual went unused on the first day of the rally, instead providing a cushion for the young driver as he tried to cope with the severely stripped down nature of the Faenza, though it did little to help cope with the anxiety of being cooped up in a 1,500 pound freezer. Ryouchi, on the other hand, realizing he wouldn’t be needed to guide Johnny in a straight line, took the opportunity to get some shuteye, thus saving him from the looming image of Giacomo in the blue wonder taking up every inch of their mirrors as the Faenza struggled to keep ahead of Giacomo’s incessant tailgating.

Inside the Blue Wonder, a silent hostage negotiation of sorts was underway, with Alessio and Hikiko wordlessly debating how best to convince Giacomo to quit scaring the absolute shit out of his one and only nephew. Wrenching the wheel away from him WOULD actually work quite well, but running the risk of hitting any other cars was something that made that option a no go. Asking Giacomo politely, though a likely success, would distract him, and probably result in Ryouchi and Johnny becoming little more than smears in the road, so that was off the table as well.

While the two furiously communicated using the time tested method of “look at where i’m looking, no not there, over there”, their saving grace came in the form of the low fuel light turning on, allowing the team to stop and negotiate with the man. Upon pulling over, in the process locking up and giving the Faenza a love tap, and in the process, it’s first dent. As they got out, Hikiko and Alessio battled each other in a lethal game of rock paper scissors, with the loser having to convince Giacomo to not drive like he was in a BMW. Alessio sent his paper paladin to battle against the scissor sentry Hikiko had brought, and as a result made his way over to his beloved son, Giacomo, who was giddily declaring that festivities were in order.

Johnny took the opportunity to get as much fresh air as he was gonna get in the brief respite that re-fueling the Blue Wonder would provide, as Giacomo declared, with his entire body to accentuate, “With this fuel economy, VICTORY IS OUR-” CLANK Every head in a mile radius turned to look at Giacomo, who, in his excitement, had kicked out a tire on the Faenza. Looks like that one was original. It was thus that the group came to the conclusion that the back of the Spirito would be much more fitting for Giacomo, giving him some time to cool off while Hikiko took over driving duties. That he was tied and bound and thrown there against his will is another matter entirely and of no relevance to the story. A quick tire change later and Giacomo’s muffled screams being ignored, our journey finds us nearing the other side, the end of the rift, and the start of:

MACHINAS CON PASSIONE’S SHITBOX ADVENTURES, TAKE 2: Misery and Happiness

(P.S: fuck me that took a long time to write)

[shibusu]

Team Sinesian Rejects

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Team information
Previous part (Part 1 - Sunday Friday driver)
Next part

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Part 2: Sour dreams

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???, ???

The moonlight illuminates the night with a silvery glow as the red-and-white Ilaris Imbe races through a forested trail, headlights basking the path in yellow as it rockets through. The suspension rocks up and down, wheels hitting the inner fenders, for the bump stops have been removed. TJ, at the helm of the machine, fights the car for control every passing second.

What is making him go at such speed reveals itself quickly, as the clattering of an engine hoist makes itself heard. The partially pink Ilaris Ute is chasing him through the night, its headlights blinding through the rear-view mirror. TJ presses his foot firmly to the floor, pinging noises making themselves heard, despite the engine screaming at redline.

Every time he checks the rear-view, the lights get closer. Terrifyingly close. He tries to press the gas pedal harder, but it’s already flat out. There’s no going faster than this, not without a miracle. With this, he decides that he’ll just have to be a better driver, and hope to god that the 65 horsepower difference isn’t enough to get him in a formal meeting with the ute’s front bumper.

The cars continue through the trail, seemingly endlessly. As the cars hop on bumps, slide around the corners, and steer around branches, the ute inches closer, and closer, and closer. While TJ’s efforts were good at delaying, they weren’t enough to escape.

What follows is a shake, the steering wheel jerking to the left, as the car is shoved violently to the right. For a split second, TJ sees the trees, shortly followed by a deafening crunch. What is laid in front of his eyes for another moment is the front subframe, along with the engine, flying from the rest of the car, quickly being cut off by the frontal airbags deploying themselves. At this point, the primal fear of what will happen next sets in. He thinks he sees the moon a few times, along with more crunching. Eventually, the remains of the Ilaris come to a halt.

The silence is almost frightening, dizziness not exactly helping. TJ looks around the car, looking for the signs of Alauran or Jas being in the car, realizing that he’s alone in the wreck. Pulling the fabric of the airbag out of the way, he observes the severe burns the airbag has caused to his arms. What’s more pressing is the newly developed wet feeling in his legs. He hopes it’s just coolant, but by inspection of the liquid it quickly reveals itself to be blood, which he finds in large quantities all around his body and interior.

What he had forgotten for the moment was the ute. That changed when the red lights in the distance gave way to the menacing silhouette of the person chasing him. It’s approaching. TJ reaches for the gun in the glovebox, remembering to unbuckle himself. As the person draws closer, it becomes clear he’s wielding some sort of blade, though identification is impossible on account of the blurred vision. He fumbles with the gun, preparing for the inevitable.

Within a second, there’s a long blade to his neck.

“H-heeyy, you don’t have to d-do this…” He stumbles over his words as the blade draws ever closer to separating him in to two parts, simultaneously building up the courage to pull the trigger to the gun he’s holding on to just out of sight.

What feels like an eternity passes, before TJ pulls the trigger. A deafening bang, the figure dropping as soon as the flash dissipates. The blade drops to his legs.

He tries to move, but he can’t. The dread sets in as the sharp pain in his neck starts. He tries to call for help, but nothing leaves his mouth. There’s nothing that he can do. He’s done for. It was over before it had started. Eventually, the blurred tunnel vision gives way to darkness.

---

“TJ, you better wake the hell up!”

---

April 1st, 9:57am

TJ’s eyes fly wide open. He’s in the Imbe again. It’s day, and he’s in the unsurprisingly forest-less Nevadan desert. He reaches for his neck and legs, feeling that they’re both still intact. What an awful, awful fucking dream.

Looking around, he sees the friendly face of Alauran in his window. He looks at the car’s clock. 9:57.

“Alright, you’ve been tugging at that steering wheel for the past 20 minutes now. It’s time for you to get that booty moving, since I don’t think you want to go and throw up doing push-ups in this heat.”

He is indeed correct. That would not be very good, so TJ throws the door open, almost knocking Alauran over. They both walk briskly to the area where the driver’s meeting is being held, slipping in behind some other people discreetly as Malavera began speaking.

The small crowd of people (and not ‘people’) listen as Malavera goes on about the rules of the event. It seems fairly obvious: don’t be a dick, don’t drink and drive, and whatnot. The latter is impossible for the team, since alcohol is not metabolized and would lead to death, though there are other substances they could be on. Fortunately, these substances’ effects are short-lived, so even if there was a consumption event, it wouldn’t exactly take long for them to become sober again. However, it would always be safer to keep away from the powders and poisons.

As Malavera continued, he spoke about avoiding damage to the host team’s vehicles. Easily avoided, since if the team did manage to hit them, the damage would be exclusively confined to our shitbox. TJ shudders a bit, remembering the mangled wreck in his dream.

Following the conclusion of the driver’s meeting, TJ, Alauran and Jas get back together, with Ianis following behind. Disconnecting the power cable, loading all the junk back in to the trunk, and getting the gunk out from the frunk. Power cable goes in the tray of the ute, along with the transformer box. Along with that, all the stuff from the night is packed in, and after waiting for the other teams (some of which with more expansive camping facilities) to pack up, it was soon time to head in to the rift.

“A metal shed? That’s it?” TJ commented on the structure standing close by the camp.

“I remember the guys at Accuracy International were a bunch of people in a shed. Don’t underestimate sheds.” Ianis said, for what seemed like the first time in days. TJ shrugged, before getting in the Imbe, with Ianis following, getting in the Itan Ute. Jas was already in the Imbe by then, and Alauran was sorting through the books he’d taken with him, considering the lack of internet to waste time on. Eventually everyone was ready to go.

---

As TJ turned the key, the glorious cranking sounds of the 1.3 liter engine filled the cabin of the Imbe. Only the cranking sounds, I might add.

“…Start, you piece of crap.”

After a solid 20 seconds of cranking, he decides to not stress the battery out further and disengages the starter.

“Oh, it’s almost like these things don’t start in this heat. Like they weren’t designed for it, not after being ripped out of a wrecker’s car, at least.” Alauran remarked, an overly sarcastic tone ringing throughout.

“Well, why don’t you go fix it then?” TJ grinned, as he unlocked the doors again, tilting his head to signal Alauran to get out and push.

“Fine, just for you.” He begrudgingly said, promptly opening the door, and giving the 900-kilo car a good push. After it had accelerated to sufficient speed, Alauran stopped, and the car was thrown in to first. A complaint from the gearbox later, and the car was started. Alauran hopped back in the still-opened door, closing it and buckling up, as did Jas, hearing the annoyance of the ‘fasten seatbelt’ chime.

At first, the host teams went in, led by Kasiya, piloting the HD-GV Carry-All, soon followed by the rest of Shift Happens, and VSmgAB. Then the more ‘experienced’ (at least, those who have gone in to the rift by car instead of spaceship) headed in. TJ and Ianis slipped in right around the middle of the ‘new kids’ pack. Ointment not included.

The transfer in to the rift was mildly unsettling, at least when you’re not surrounded by holographic micro-LED displays and intelligent AI assistance. It could be called a raw experience, though it was much preferable to go through the rift in something more technologically advanced than an aluminum physics experiment and a driving fire hazard. Either way, it wasn’t particularly fun for either of the two drivers, but nobody had died yet, and that’s what counted.

---

The minutes started to drag on, and Ianis was ready to get his fix of speeding again, at least considering the French parking level of distance between the front bumper of the Ute and the place where the rear bumper plastic of the Imbe should be. A kickdown of the slushbox automatic later, and Ianis took off, nearly sideswiping the mirror off of the Imbe, only then increasing the horizontal space between the cars he was passing.

Though the speedometer had broken on the way to the camp, it was clear by the screaming of the 2.2 liter engine that he was hauling ass at a serious rate, passing the majority of the convoy before Kasiya spotted the ute going at definitely non-convoy speeds, slowly drifting in to the two lanes. As the ute closed the distance, Ianis slightly turned left, in an attempt to get around the massive HD-GV Carry-All. Unfortunately for him, there was no way in hell he’d be off-roading at well over 90 miles per hour. Realizing his, he slammed on the brakes, leaving the screams of the tires and a trail of blackened concrete in his wake. He’d probably get disciplined if he continued, so he retreated to where the Imbe was, this time giving the mirror of the Imbe a good tap with the foldable ute mirror.

---

“WHAT THE FUCK!?”

The Imbe nearly rocks in the sudden jolt of movement as Alauran shoots back in to his seat, having opened the glovebox. What greets him is a submachine gun-unloaded, at least.

“WHO PUT THIS IN HERE!?”

“Right, who would put that thing there?” Jas responded, not quite disguising his guilt.

At that moment, Alauran picks up a parking time marker and throws it at Jas.

“IT WAS YOU!”

“Okay, okay! When I said things about stuff we might need-” He pulls out the cassette deck-“I also brought that. If we ever needed it.” He lays down the thing and goes back to his normal sitting posture. “If you don’t like it I’ll just take it-”

“We are NOT doing that. Where did you even get this?” Alauran calmly asked.

“TJ’s drawer.” Jas hesitated with his response, but blurted it out anyway.

Alauran turns to TJ, who turns to face the two, occasionally flicking his head to have eyes on the road.

“Look. We left that time behind us. But I sure as hell want to be prepared if it does come to bite us again.” He fully turns to face Jas. “And why were you looking around in my stuff?”

“It had a funny sticker.” Jas responded.

“I guess that’s fair.”

---

The four continued driving, with only minor pantaloon-related inconveniences due to braking. Apparently, trusting the 18-wheeler behind you to have functioning brakes despite being made of mostly rust was slightly nerve-wracking, exacerbated by being in a car as safe as Russian roulette. The reason for the stopping being the breakdowns of multiple teams, ranging from tire explosions to a CVT automatic conversion by team Hillbilly Rollers on their IP Rugger, courtesy of their clutch. TJ would have come to help, if he had known anything about how IPs are put together, though unfortunately he was not blessed with such intelligence, and thus stayed in the Imbe to go read the books that Alauran had been studying in the meantime. Jas, however, was entertained playing Transport Tycoon Deluxe on the battery of his laptop. ‘Train #12 is getting very old and is in urgent need of replacing.’

Eventually, the announcement came over the CB that Hillbilly Rollers had reverted their newly made automatic back in to a manual. Driving started again soon after, with the pace remaining the same as prior to the breakdowns.

---

After passing from the rift back in to a planet of some kind, the Imbe gave a ‘low outside temperature’ warning light on the dash, signaling that the frozen conditions were indeed true. Alauran took this as a cue to put his coat back on, having previously stripped to a T-shirt and shorts. There wasn’t really room to change pants in the small Imbe, so he’d have to wait to get out to put those on. TJ, Jas and Ianis really couldn’t care less about the cold, but the heat in Nevada had wrecked them somewhat. At least the cars were equipped with semi-functional air conditioning.

In the meantime, TJ had reclaimed his gun, partly because he thinked it looked cool to have, and partly because of the strange dream, though he would only tell the second reason in private to Alauran.

---

Lastly, after a grueling nearly 9-hour drive, they finally arrived at the campsite, even though TJ almost slid in to Ianis, due to the ABS working a bit too aggressively in the snowy area. They really didn’t have much to set up, since there wasn’t really much to their camping setup besides the cars themselves and small space heaters, along with sleeping bags, which were pretty much exclusively used by Alauran. Three of them. At once.

It was thus time to begin Sinesian Reject’s (mis)adventures in Nehmenweld. One piston ring, destroyed head gasket or three dead bodies in a wreck at a time. Okay, maybe the last is too pessimistic. One piston ring, destroyed head gasket and bent valve at a time. Hopefully.

[Knugcab]

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

PART 1.2 - Slip-sliding into camp

Earlier parts

Pre-prologue part 1
Pre-prologue part 2
Prologue part 0.1
Prologue part 0.15 - Interlude
Prologue part 0.2
Prologue part 0.3
Prologue part 0.4
Part 1.1 - What’s that smell?

PART 1.2 - Slip-sliding into camp

The team entered a world that looked very much like…home. It was snowy, it was cold, it was exactly like northern Sweden this time of the year. Yet, it was kind of a change from Nevada, but it should of course be said too, that considering that none of the vehicles had air conditioning, it was easier to adapt to scandinavian-ish weather than to Nevada temperatures. Andreas and Janne in the Rugger were quite chill, not only temperature wise. However, for our learner driver in the Wolverine, things were a little bit different.

“Keep in mind that the tyres are probably decades old, and I have no chains for it”, Arne told Marie.

“Uhm, yeah….right”, she said, not listening very much.

Approaching camp after a rather short drive from the Rift, Arne gave some directives once again.

“Do a downshift now, you remember the sequence, OK? And be easy on the gas.”

“Downshift it was”, Marie said

CRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRCCCCCCCCKKK

“Eh, I think you’re trying to get into a too low…”

CLUNK!

“…gear”, Arne said. “Now, remember, easy on the gas”.

“OK, easy it was”, Marie said, stepping off the clutch and pressing the accelerator everything but easy.

“I SAID EASY!”, Arne was shouting while the Wolverine was skidding into camp, with a roaring V8, wildly spinning tyres and a cascade of snow standing from its rear wheels.

With Marie spinning the steering wheel like if it has been a roulette wheel, she barely avoided to hit everything in sight with the skidding Wolverine. Snow was thrown all over the camp and the truck was for the most part only centimetres from crashing into everything and everyone.

“PRESS DOWN THE CLUTCH!”, Arne was shouting.

“Uh…the clutch yes”, Marie said.

“NOOOO, NOT THE BRAKES!”, Arne was screaming when the Wolverine was heading forward with its wheels locked up at almost unchanged speed against Team ReUnity’s Ursula. (@BannedByAndroid ) Luckily, all the snow building up in front of the wheels managed to get the speed down enough to stop it with a distance from the Ursula that was comparable to the thickness of a Donald Duck magazine.

“Can I park here?”, Marie said.

“PARK WHEREVER YOU WANT, BUT IT IS UP TO YOU TO CONFRONT WHOEVER YOU’LL MAY ANNOY!”, Arne said, jumping out with his crutches, slamming the door and slowly counting to ten….

Next part

[EnCR]

Prologue part 1.3

Few content in this chapter might be slightly sensitive to some viewer.

Regan house, West Coast, USA
Same friday night

Ringggggggggg… Ringggggggggg… Ring, Ring, Ri-, Ri- R-

“WHO THE HELL IS RINGING MY DOORBELL!!!?” Annoyed Regan shouting from inside his house Regan quickly approaches the front door and opens it

“Who else but me~? ” Carol puts on a full smile

“!.. Wait, why are you here? didn’t we planned to meet tomorro-”

“Yeah, about that~ I decided that we should leave a bit early.”

Carol interrupts before Regan could finish his sentence

“W-what? but I haven’t packed my stuff yet!”

“Well, then do it now~ ”

“…”

“Anyways, I’ll be waiting in the car so make It quick.”

Few minutes later

“Okay, I’m coming!” Regan opens the rear hatch and store his luggage inside

“Let’s go~” Regan sits next to Carol as there’s only 2 seats

Carol turns the ignition on the starter starts making noises eventually the sound of a
Japanese 4 cylinders start to come to life

Carol puts the car into gear and starts driving

Several minutes later

Carol and Regan arrived at the trailer park where Miya lives

Both exits the vehicle and walks towards the door of Miya’s camper

Knock Knock Knock

“Uweh! … I-Is that you, Carol?”

“ Yes~ are you ready? I’ll be guiding you to the destination. So don’t get left behind~ ”

“A-…Again with ‘that’. You know that I can’t drive my camper very fast you know… my camper is… one of a kind. And I don’t know If It should go ‘that’ fast you know… things might break… I-I don’t want to imagine the repair cost … …”

“My~ My~ you have no idea how easy it is for me to fix whatever is broken on your precious camper~ I only need a few things and you know~ Let m-” “H-Hey! no!! don’t.”

Miya quickly grabs her hand “Ahe he~ I’m kidding. For now~ ”

Miya explodes, but not literally

“Oh yeah! Now that reminds me. Miya, may I borrow your camper key?”

“… … …” Miya slowly reaches her pocket and gives the key to Carol

“Thank you~” Carol exits the camper then opens the hood of the camper

“Excuse me~ but I’m going to tinker around with the engine for a bit.”
Carol picks up a ratchet and starts to disassemble the engine head covers

“Kay~ let’s work on this” About half and hour later

“Phew~ that got a bit hot.” Carol puts the engine back together before closing the hood
Thump (sound of the hood closing) Meanwhile inside the camper

“Hey, wake up! wake up! …” Regan tries to wake Miya, but fails to do so for the last few minutes
Carol opens the door
“What’s going on, Regan?”

Regan turns over to Carol

“Miya! She’s unconscious for quite some time now.”

“Ah~ okay, hand her over to me.”

Carol holds Miya tightly “Miya~ If you don’t open your eyes right now, I’m going to give you a kiss~ ”

Vine boom sound effect
“What the hell was that noise?” Regan raises his left eyebrow in confusion

Carol closes both of her eyes and slowly moves her lips closer to Miya’s

Miya feels a very powerful presence very close to her
“… Eyehhhhhh!!!”

Miya very surprised, pushes Carol away from her

“W-W-wh-wh- what did you just do to me!?”

“Hehehe~ ”

“!!! … Ah…ahhhh… ahaaaaa~~~” After realizing what Carol did to her, Miya starts crying

“I will pretend that I didn’t witness any of that…” Regan suddenly feels exhausted, he has enough of It and exits the camper

He sleeps inside the JMX

A certain trailer park, West Coast, USA
Saturday morning

“Ahhh… my back hurts…” Regan looks over to Miya’s camper
“I wonder If they’re up now.”

Opens the door

“… Of course they’re both asleep…” Regan lightly shakes Carol’s arm

“Come on… how long are you going to stay like this!” shakes harder

Carol is still unfazed

“… I guess it has to come to this”
Regan moves his head closer to Carol’s ear

Blows… Blows… BLOWS
“!!! Hnengh!” Carol jumps in a surprise

“… Oh! Regan, you’re awake hahaha~"

"Finally the time you wake up… How deep were you in that sleep?”

“Ah- ah! right, we’ve got to move!”

“Hey! answer me.”

“Oh, Miya is still not waking up~”

Carol getting prepare to kiss her again

“Uh um… I think I’ll wake her up, you go do your own thing.”

“Oh, oh I was going t-”

“LET me wake her up…”
“Ahhehehehe~ then I’ll go set up the GPS route then.”
Carol exits the camper

“… One day I’ll wipe that teasing attitude out of you… just you wait…”

“Yawns~~~ … Oh? R-Regan?”
Regan noticed that Miya has woken up

“Where’s… Carol?”

“She is setting up the destination point to… somewhere I don’t actually know.”

“O- Oh… the rally?”

“…Say that… again…”

“Y-You don’t know? Carol said that she’ll be taking us on a rally but she also said that It’s more like a… um… road trip. She… hasn’t said anymore about this tho…”

“… Ha???”

“If you… don’t understand what I meant… just… go… ask her…”

“…”

Regan exits the camper and enters the JMX

“Ah~ I’m guessing you’re ready.”

“What is this ‘rally’ you’re going to make me participate in?”

“Oh~… I can’t tell you right now~ ”

“Ha!? What do you mean you can’t tell me right n-”

“Shhh~ If you behave well, I might tell you~”

“Do I look like a child to you?”

“Ahahahaha~~ Yes.”

“… … How about you start driving already…”

“はい~ ”

Regan is at his limit
“…”
This begins the journey to the middle of Mojave desert

A gas station, West Coast, USA
Saturday late morning

Carol has started refueling her JMX, Regan is still recovering from the humiliation

Miya is also refueling her camper

“… Are you still upset with me~?”

“… … …”

“Ah~!” After Carol done refueling her car and pay for the fuel, she went to the gas station store to buy something

Few minutes later

“Hey~ look what I have in my hand~”

Regan looks over to see his favorite drink in Carol’s hand

“! … …” Regan wants It, but also don’t want to give in

Carol slowly brings the drink in front of him

“… … …”
Regan fell for it

“Will you talk to me now~?”

“Okay! Okay. I get it!”

moments later

“So… the event we’re going to is called ‘Shitbox Rally’ … What exactly are we going to experience?”
“Well~ I don’t know much, but based on what I read in the email… we’re going to have a run across the land of Nehmenweld.”

“ Neh… man what? Is that somewhere in europe?”

Carol lightly tap on Regan’s forehead

“H-Hey!”

“Obviously not~ anyway we’re going to experience extreme weather and temperature changes during our run. there’s also many hazards awaiting us which we don’t know, but It’s so dangerous that their scouts are carrying guns.”
“Huh? Huh!? To the point of having to carry a firearm? You should’ve TOLD me way earlier so I can reconsider my choice…”

“Now, now~ If I had told you everything back then. you two probably won’t come. so~ ”

“…” Regan has gone silent again…

“Miya! Are you done? we’re moving now!”

Miya gives an arm gesture to indicate that she is ready

“Okay~!” Carol steps on the accelerator

A gun store, West Coast, USA
Saturday late noon

“So~ I’m guessing you’re buying guns.”

“OF course I am! I left the guns at my house cuz I thought we were going on a relaxing road trip!” Regan walks into the store with
the other 2 following along

Regan approaches the counter where the gun store owner is standing “Um, I’m looking to buy guns.”

The gun store owner stares at Regan for a few seconds before finally starts talking
“Well, One of you probably has never fired a gun before, right?”

“Um? what do you mean?”

“You know very well that I can’t sell guns to people who have never passed a background check before. That girl with pink hair seems very nervous coming inside here.”

“!!” Miya surprised

Phone ringing tone

“Oh.” The gun store owner answers the call

“I’ll be back in a bit. you may look around, but don’t touch anything.”

The gun store owner then walks into the room behind him and stays in there for sometime

“Miya~” Carol looks over to Miya

“Y-yes?”

“Have you ever fired a gun~?”

“!! Wh-what kind of question is that…of course I haven’t. I-I would never ever shoot a gun in my entire life…”

“Oh… Well~✨I’ll find something for you to use then.”

“H-ha? Wh-why? didn’t you say It’s going to be kind of like a r-roadtrip?”
“Uh… well~ I guess I haven’t tell you everything~”

“!!!”

“There’s a possibility of us encountering something very dangerous, so you’ll need to learn self defense. Don’t worry~ I have some experience~”

“S-Some experience!? I-I don’t think I really trust that. What If w-we don’t survive!. Who’s going to bury us? We’ll die all alone!!… I-I don’t want t- ah…”
Miya fell unconscious

“Oh my~” Carol lift Miya’s body from the floor

Door opens

“Sorry to keep you all waiting. Now If you want to examine the guns that’s showcasing on the wall, do tell me.”

“Hm…”

Regan sees an automatic rifle and is interested

“Can I have a closer look at that one”

“Oh, the M4”

The gun store owner grabs the rifle down from the shelf

“This one is 2890$, It already has some modifications done to It, but that’s not a bad thing.”

“Um… do you have more affordable choices?”

“Unfortunately that’s the cheapest m4 I have for sale. there’s this one for 1520$”
The gun store owner picks up an AKM, It lacks the classic woods furnish but, the rest is still an AK

“And also this one and thi-”

The conversation went on for a while, but eventually Regan settled on a semi-auto FN FAL which he bought for 1300$ after some bargaining.

“(So… I bought myself a decent rifle… For Miya… If she can pass the background check in under 3-4 days which is kinda unlikely. But If she does, we might come back and get something for her. and also reserves ammo just in case… yeah we’re all set… I think)”

“We still have a few days left before the actual event starts~ so let’s go find a place to stay for now.”

“Right.”

The team then go out to look for a nearby motor hotel to stay in

Inside a Motel, West Coast, USA
Saturday night

“2 rooms for us”
Regan pays for the rooms and proceed to grab the keys from the receptionist

Before they make their way into their own respective room. Carol slightly tap on Regan’s back and quietly says

“Hey~ i might come to your room later so~ ”

“!! What?”

Carol then follows Miya into their own room and closes the door

“… (I should go to sleep early, maybe Carol won’t come and knock on the door if she sees that I didn’t respond.)”

Couple of minutes later
Knock Knock Knock… Knock Knock Knock… the knocking went on for few more seconds

“… (I’m not opening that door… please go away)”

The knocking stops… but. Pick… pick… … … Opens

“!!! (Did she manage to unlock the door!? Shit! better pretend to be asleep then.)”

Sound of the footsteps coming closer as Regan tries his hardest not to make any noise. The “intruder” stops to look around and starts wandering around inside the room

“… (Wait, is it really Carol? wouldn’t she have says something by now if it was her inside the room right now ahh whatever.)”

Regan continues to stay silent as he experiences the longest minutes he ever felt

Eventually the “intruder” left the room and closes the door

“(They… left? finally I can go to sleep…Oh yeah and ask Carol If that was her.)”
Regan immediately fell asleep

A Motel parking lot, West Coast, USA
Sunday morning

“Hey!”

“Yeah~ Reagan?”

“Was It you? Who came into my room last night?”

“Hm~? Oh I did say that, but I wasn’t actually serious”

“Say what? so…”

“Is~ something wrong?”

“N-No nevermind.”
Regan walks off towards the JMX and grabs the door handle

Locked
“Hey~! you need to unlock the door first!”

“I know!!”

“Catch~!! ”

Carol throws the car key towards Regan

Surprised by Carol’s action. Regan immediately runs towards where the key would be falling

“What are you doing!?”

He catches It

“Can you drive the car this time~? Just follow the GPS route.”

“Yeah sure…”
Regan inserts the key into the ignition and turns it clockwise, The sound of the electric starter spinning to start the crank follows with the noise of the 4 cylinders coming up to life

“Here goes…”

He puts the car into gear and slowly releases the clutch

Miya follows behind in her camper

Highway, West Coast, USA
Sunday noon

“Where are we going?” “You’ll know when you get there~” “…” Regan continues to drive with little to idea where they are going…

Time skip to next week Friday (31st March)
Mojave desert, Nevada, USA
Friday late morning

“How long have we been driving for… and are you sure that this is where we should be heading?”

“Certainly~ The destination point is in the Mojave desert”

“But I can’t see any roads that lead to where we are going. It’s just dry fuck off desert land”

“Obviously~ there will be no road as where’re currently somewhere in the middle of It~”

“…”
Few hours have passed since that short chat. It’s now late afternoon

Mojave desert, Nevada, USA
Friday late noon

It’s been a long journey to come to the middle of the Mojave desert. Regan is behind the wheel for quite some time now with no rest. His vision is still facing forward, but he suddenly sees black. He tries to regain his consciousness, but to no avail. Carol notices this and wakes him up before saying
“Let’s have a little stop before we continue~”

Both Carol’s and Miya’s vehicle came to a stop in a middle of the desert

Carol exits the vehicle and grabs the binocular to check the surrounding
The Regan and Miya is still in inside
“(Hm… according to the GPS… I think we’re very close to where we should be heading. Oh!)”

Carol increase the magnification of the Binocular

She sees a road trail leading to a bunch of vehicles in a large group, some are shitboxes, some are massive trucks, but other than that everything else looks like wavy dots

“Hey~! Regan!”

She knocks her hand on the windshield of the JMX

“… …! H-huh? What now? If It’s nothing important, please leave me be…”

“I think I see the meeting point now~! We should move now, you can have a rest later after this… Actually you know what. Let me drive~ ”

Regan moves to the passenger seat while Carol go on the driver seat

Meanwhile inside Miya’s camper

“(… I feel like d-dying right now… …)”

Miya is barely able to stay awake, but she also fears being left alone on this journey. She tries to stay awake by hitting her head on the steering wheel every now and then

Sounds of the 4 cylinders starting woke her up again. She sees that Carol’s car is moving again, She panics and immediately starts up her camper before follows behind

Couple of minutes later, the sights of the large groups of vehicles parking in the distance become much clearer, among them that standout is the large 10 wheeler RV and many anthropomorphic people that they’ve never seen before in their life.

Carol quickly finds the space to park her vehicle. Miya park the camper closely to her.

End of Prologue

[Elizipeazie]

Public Service Announcement

---

The deadline to change aggression and/ or Top Gear behavior for Stage 1 has passed.

Any later requests will not be considered at this time.

[Elizipeazie]

Team VSmgAB & Team Shift Happens

Pre-Race Camp (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp; Part 1 (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp, Arrival. (Shift Happens)

---

Constantin and his companions headed over all the way across camp to the HD-GVs of Shift Happens.
Lucky for the ‘Speshul Forces’, Kivenaal was already setting up some lanes of various ranges, complete with paper targets to shoot at.

“Good… evening?” Constantin said, pulling out a pocket watch that had been gifted to him by Jayde a year prior. It displayed local time and confirmed that it was nearing sunset.
“Yeah. Evening. Would you mind if me any my band of merry men make use of your work here for some target practice?”, he inquired with the five recruits behind him in a ‘line’.
Most of them seemed excited to ‘get to shoot guns’ again, except for Jacques, who was mostly indifferent to the plans at hand.

Kivenaal smiled, then gave a light nod. “Yeah, go ahead. It’s why I set the range up in the first place, so that people can do a little target practice. I’ve got targets out at 25, 50, 100, 200, and 350 meters, so, we’ve got everything from reasonable pistol range to some real good distance targets.”

Jayde walked over, wearing a heavy fur coat and fur-lined boots as he stepped up to the range with Kayden close by, wearing a more form-fitting black jumpsuit under his normal “street clothes” from before. “Do you guys mind if we get a bit of practice in?”

Kivenaal stared at Kayden, then said, “I have no idea how you’re not freezing already.”

“Thermal regulation suit,” Kayden said, pulling up his t-shirt long enough to show the sleek black material underneath. “Keeps you warm in the cold, cool in the heat.”

“Cannot deny you also taking part. It is a public range, after all. However, i had a bit of a thought with this: The five remaining beds are not formally assigned yet and one of them has a bigger bed than the other four. Whoever gets the smallest spread with the Pistol 88 at 25 meters and the AK4 at 50 is winning the big bunk. I hope you are okay with us practically blocking the 25 meter lane for a while, followed by the 50m one.” Constantin explained, now also getting Jacques in on the excitement.

“What about you? It would be unfair for you to just get a free bed!” Hans protested in typical rules-lawyer fashion.
Constantin then thought about it and then placed his rifle onto one of the tables, followed shortly thereafter by the ominous silver suitcase.

“You’re right. It would be unfair, which is why i won’t be shooting the standard-issue stuff.” Constantin replied as he unlatched the two buckles from that case, opening it. Within, a fancy-looking raw-carbon fibre compound bow presented itself, neatly encased in form-fitting foam so as to not damage it in transit. The lid had a slew of little tabs which contained one arrow each.

The recruits looked into the box and were confused.

“A bow? Fine by me.” Hans commented, thinking that losing against an archer would be practically impossible, a sentiment echoed by the others as well.

“So. If the range operators are okay with it, we start with the 25m round using the Pistol 88. You engage the target with 5 shots, the worst of which is discarded. The remaining four count towards your score. Once done with a set, notify the other, civilian lanes for safety and we can go tape off the shots. Understood?” Constantin spoke with an amount of authority rivalling a US Army Drill Sargeant, though he also looked towards Kivenaal to confirm that his plans were indeed possible without annoying anyone.

Kivenaal gave a nod. “We’re used to having to stop every so often to tape up targets or replace a very-well-shot one. The way we’ll make our weapons safe is “weapon holstered, hands visible,” at least with pistols. Rifles will either be on their slings or on the table. Your crew can do as they’re trained, this is just how we do things so no one gets shot in the ass. If you’re using the 25 meter target, I’ll just get Kayden and Jayde to hit the 50 meter target with handguns.”

“Well, there goes my accuracy,” Jayde muttered to himself.

“You’ll do fine. Remember, last time you said you couldn’t hit the damn target, you landed one right in the bullseye, Jayde,” Kayden replied.

“I’ll be fair,” Kivenaal said, “and not compete with the two of you. Nor will I take on the longer range targets today. I shot a lot yesterday, so… Time for other people to have their turn.”

Jayde, however, gave a smirk as he looked at Constantin’s bow. “I’ve gotten a little archery practice in over the year, but I’m still shit with one of those,” Jayde admitted. “Takaraya’s decent, but… Well, he’s drawing 175 pounds and has a certain… Inherent mechanical stability on his side. That said, furthest I’ve seen him shoot is 100 meters.”

“If I were smart,” Kayden said, looking to Jayde, “I’d make him bring his compound bow out here and get a little physical therapy going, but… Somehow, I don’t see that going over well right now.”

“We can also start with the 50 meter round using our Automatkarbin 4 rifles, if you prefer.” Constantin offered, to which it was made clear that the Pistol round was the first one for the recruits.

“We go in descending order of height. Reynolds, you’re up first.” he then told the recruits, who did think ahead far enough to sort themselves as soon as the order was known.

William stepped up to the lane, placing his rifle onto the table ahead of him, soo after, he drew the handgun, making sure that adjacent lanes were clear, followed by readying his gun.
It was apparent that they were not routine-shooters, since WIlliam took his fair share of time, eventually sending 5 shots downrange towards the target board.

Afterwards, he secured the gun and holstered it, declaring ‘the enemy’ to be defeated.
Once the 50 meter lane was finished as well, they went to the board and checked the results:

“I tried, i promise!” William reasoned, seeing a wild spray pattern on the target board covering most of it’s mockup torso.
“You tried to miss?” Constantin countered, handing a roll of little stickers to William, “Get going, then…”
He then noted down the results onto the packaging of aforementioned roll, discarding the worst shot as previously announced while William went about plugging bullet holes with sticky dots for the next person.

Kayden and Jayde gave a smirk, immediately launching into a game of rock-paper-scissors to determine who went first. Jayde’s paper beat Kayden’s rock, so he stepped up to the table, calmly drew his .44 caliber revolver, and took his time with his shots, deliberately forcing himself to use the double-action heavier trigger pull to get used to it.

After discharging five rounds to match the five shots from the recruit to his left, Jayde calmly swung open the cylinder, emptied out his five empty shells with his thumb holding the one good one in place, reloaded his revolver, then holstered it.

As they walked down to the target, Kayden stared at it, then said, “Okay, and you say you shoot like shit? That’s all five on the damn target, Jayde. Five in the chest of something human sized. If you can shoot half as good under pressure, that’s still good for self defense.”

“Beginner’s luck, I guess,” Jayde admitted, patching up the target with pieces of tape, before they returned to the tables so the next recruit and Kayden could have a go. He looked to Kivenaal, then asked, “After Kayden does his round with the pistol, mind if we borrow your rifle?”

“Sure. Kayden, you think you can manage with my long stock, or will you need a different weapon?” Kivenaal asked.

Kayden grimaced, then said, “I’m not sure. If it had a collapsing stock, I’d say it’s fine, but that’s solid walnut with no adjustments. I’ll try, but… I’m going to be shit with that rifle.”

As William returned to the others, he was met with a solid amount of laughter.

“Talk about being a good shot! A shotgun has less spread than you do!”, Rohan ridiculed, with most of the others also digging at William for his poor accuracy.

The next recruit to step to the line was Hans, who repeated the process William just did. Despite having gotten the exact same training, he seemed more confident in aiming, which was proven by the results.
Unlike William’s “whole body” spread, Hans managed to condense the pattern into the size of a dinner plate.

Upon returning, he obviously was proud of his achievement, supported by the others who have previously seen him shoot marginally better than William just did.

Kayden sighed, racked the slide on his heavily modified Colt 1911, then took aim at the 50 meter target and cracked off five shots. When they checked the target, Kayden groaned. “I hit the human sized target 4 times,” Kayden admitted.

“And you shot the stand,” Jayde pointed out, poking the target frame with his cane.

“So, rifle next? This is going to suck,” Kayden said, patching up the target again and then returning to the table.

“I mean, we’re shooting twice their distance with handguns, you can’t compare ours to theirs,” Jayde admitted. “And even with rifles, we’re using a lever-action rifle with a suppressor on it instead of whatever one of those is,” Jayde said, motioning to the rifle on the table.

Hans was proud of what he did until Jacques went for his turn. Everyone knew that he was a good marksman and the only actually competent recruit of the group, thus serving as a benchmark of sorts to the other less-than-stellar ones.

He sent his group of shots down the lane and EVERYONE knew that there was no point in discarding the worst shot because there was no ‘worst’ shot.
It turns out that he managed to arrange his hits into a near-perfect circle which could be covered by the rim of a small cereal bowl.

His return was less triumphant than Hans’ was, mostly due to the result being expected, normal even, for him.
“Of course the frenchie knows how to shoot…”, William grumbled, giving up all hope of getting the bigger bed, just like everyone else.

“Right, let’s see how we do with this,” Jayde said, accepting Kivenaal’s rifle.

“I put five in there, so, it’s ready to go,” Kivenaal said. “Just cycle the lever and take aim.”

Jayde nodded, then took his five shots, grimacing each time as he sent .45-70 Government rounds downrange. “Son of a bitch, that thing kicks hard,” Jayde grumbled, setting the rifle on the table. As they checked the target, Kayden chuckled. “How are you better at this range with a handgun than you are with a rifle, Jayde?”

“I don’t shoot rifles, that’s how this happened,” Jayde said, putting stickers over his five very scattered holes.

“I mean, in your defense,” Kayden said, as they walked back to the table, “your target looked a bit like the first guy’s over there. When’s the last time you shot a rifle?”

Jayde thought for a bit, then said, “You brought me to the gun range and we tried that, what was it called? “AR-15?” That was the last time.”

“Oh, right, that time that you pulled the adjustable stock off the gun three times trying to get it to fit your shoulder,” Kayden recalled.

“Yeah, that one,” Jayde admitted. “Haven’t shot a rifle since, until today.”

“Jacknabbit, your turn.” Constantin called out, just for nothing to happen.
“JACKNABBIT!”, he repeated, finally getting her out of her supposed slumber and stepping to the line.

“She really want’s that ‘Valentin’, it seems. Ever since he bench-pressed 160 kilos, she’s been distracted or lost in thoughts or something.”, William commented once Mary was out of immediate earshot.
“Gotta hand it to him, he’s well-built and obviously not a dumbfuck like some guys over here…” Jacques noted while ‘discreetly’ motioning towards Rohan in the process.

“I’m not dumb! I’m just… mentally challenged.” Rohan protested, at which point William, Hans and Jacques burst out in laughter.

This obviously delayed Mary further, since she did deserve the same amount of relative silence as the others did.
Eventually, she sent her set of 9mm Parabellum into the paper, ending in a similar style to William, but less extremely so.

“Not last. I’ll take that.” She noted once she was back with the others.

Kayden picked up the rifle and grimaced as he tried to shoulder it, glad that Kivenaal had reloaded it while they were busy fixing the target up. “Kiva, your rifle is obnoxious,” Kayden grumbled, trying his best to shoulder it up, aim down the sights, and still maintain something resembling proper form. He took his five shots at the target, set the rifle down, then, once the range was clear, walked down to look at his target.

“One. Two. That’s what ended up actually hitting the target. Third one in the target stand. Don’t know where you sent the other two,” Jayde said.

“Kiva’s rifle stock is too damn long for me. And, no, I’m not going to try to borrow another rifle, that’s on me for not bringing something more appropriate along,” Kayden admitted as they returned to the table. “So, what now?” Kayden then asked.

“Let’s let these guys finish out their shooting so we can use the 25 meter target and pistols. Trying to shoot at what could be considered “borderline unreasonable” pistol range is… Well, clearly we’re struggling with it,” Jayde admitted.

“I’m struggling. You killed it,” Kayden replied.

While Shift Happens was already done with their runs on the 50 meter lane, two people still had to do their sets on the 25 meter one.

One of them was the last recruit, Rohan Patel, who dutifully approached the lane and readied his gun. Soon after, five additional casings were strewn across the floor, adding to the 20 more already down there.

As they went to check for results, reality struck him and all the others:
Out of five rounds discharged, one was actually on the target, with a second apparently having strafed the target backing board, creating a little nook in it’s edge. The other three rounds went deep into the iced-up backstop, nowhere to be found.

“You are in no position to complain about my accuracy in ANY situation ever again. You MISSED the fucking target!!”, William said out loud, once again sending the others into a hysterical laughing fit.
“How did you get past the simulator at this rate?”, Hans chimed in inbetween breaths, barely holding it together.

Rohan meanwhile was just distraught, seeing as conditions weren’t exactly favorable. Though this still did not stop Constantin from taking a stab at his showing as well,
“I have seen quite the number of people wo needed some time to get things right. Though i don’t have Marty McFly’s number, so that’s out… Anyway, my turn, then.”

As Constantin readied himself and the ‘unfair’ weapon he was using, the recruits went (almost) silent again, eagerly watching what the ‘big guy’ would come up with.
Compared to those using firearms, Constantin took far longer to finish his set of five, with each shot taking a good two minutes to do.
Eventually, the last arrow flew into and through the plywood target backboard, ending in all five arrows randomly lying about in the snow next to the 50 meter lane’s target.

“Uhm… Anyone have some tape? 18mm caliber arrowheads are a wee bit oversize for our stickers meant for 7.62 NATO…”, he inquired as the bow went back into it’s suitcase.

Kayden stared at the target after Rohan managed to somehow do worse at 25 meters than he did at 50 with a rifle that was too big for him. “Okay, I guess I’m not that shit at shooting,” Kayden admitted.

When Constantin then did his round with the bow, Jayde smirked and just watched, seeing five arrows neatly punched through the center of the target. As Constantin asked for some tape, Kayden handed over the roll they were using. “There you go. We have to cover everything from 9 millimeter to fucking .50 caliber, so, we just use tape. Couple strips of that should do it.”

“.50 caliber still is 12.7mm in diameter, but thanks,” Constantin commented as he went into the lane to tape off his results. Afterwards, he went further down the lane to collect his arrows, which were remarkably easily located due to the contrast of black shafts in a mix of blueish-white snow and ice.

He handed back the tape to Kayden and faced the recruits again:
“Alright. First off, Mullern and Dupont had actual results that would be considered ‘good enough’, while the rest of you…” he said, pausing for an intense starte at Rohan, “should probably get a shotgun for patrol, else not hit anything… Regardless, same order, Automatkarbin 4 at 50 meters, 5 shots, worst discarded.”

With the instruction spoken, William then got about readying himself and the gun again after the pathetic showing with the pistol.

Kayden chuckled. “Yeah, we didn’t bring any anti-tank guns with us. Yes, Kivenaal actually owns a few.”

“They’re big, awkward, heavy, and not practical at all for anything reasonable,” Kivenaal admitted. “I bought a couple different ones as collector’s pieces. Occasionally, I do a little casual target shooting, but even then, not very often because, well, they kick like getting hit by a freight train, toss dust and dirt and sand everywhere when you fire them, and cost stupid amounts of money per shell.”

Jayde shrugged. “I have little use for rifles, personally,” he said. “At reasonably close range, I have a .44 Magnum. At point blank, I can do a lot of damage with these,” he added, extending the claws on his right hand for a moment, retracting them soon after, “and if you’re outside of pistol range and threatening me, well… I’ll still try that shot with a pistol.”

Kayden looked to Kivenaal, then asked, “You probably know more about our truck’s contents than anyone else. Did we pack a semi-automatic rifle with an adjustable stock? Because if so, I’d love a crack at the 100 meter target, but if we don’t have one, well… It’ll be pistols, 25 meters.”

“Whatever floats your boat, i guess…” Constantin shrugged before watching William send his 5 rifle rounds downrange. In the meantime, Jacques and Rohan cleared off spent casings from the now vacant 25 meter lane.

The result was actually presentable, with a dispersion pattern about 4 or 5 inches in diameter.

Similar results came from the other soldiers, with Mary seemingly having a less-than stellar range-day, having spread her shots to about a foot on the target.
This was nothing compared to Rohan again, who repeated what William did in the Pistol round, spreading his results across the entirety of the target.

Once again, Constantin finished up with his bow, repeating the results to the point where one could accuse him of having swapped the target boards in secret.

“Suffice to say, one of the bigger beds is mine,” Constantin spike nonchalantly as he returned with his 5 arrows in hand.

“And the other goes to our resident AWP, i assume?” Hans inquired, having little hope of getting it for himself.

“Given that he is the only truly competent marksman with both weapons, that was kind of obvious now, wasn’t it?” Constantin replied, watching Jacques form a Smug Face rivalling that of Jeremy Clarkson.

“Have fun collecting brass, then. First round of watch starts in 15 minutes.” he added, the recruits going around and picking empty casings off the ground.

Kayden shook his head after hearing back from the walkie-talkie, “Unless you want to borrow Rukari’s shotgun, Takaraya’s .50 BMG assault rifle, or Malavera’s sniper rifle, we didn’t pack a spare rifle you can use.”

“Looks like we’ll be taking a few shots at the 25, Jayde,” Kayden called out.

Jayde shrugged, stepping up to take his five shots, putting four close to the bullseye and blowing out Constantin’s tape job, and one mild fly-away about two inches low. “Damn it. Jerked the first shot again,” Jayde grumbled.

After a quick patch job, Kayden took his turn, managing an only-slightly-less disasterous run at the target than Mary’s 25 meter pistol grouping. “Well, I fucked that up,” Kayden admitted. “And, no, I’m not even going to blame the weather, I just can’t fucking shoot straight today.”

“You need more range time, Kayden,” Kivenaal replied. He stepped up to the table, drawing one of his revolvers with his upper right hand, then fired his five shots, ending up only a little less accurate than Jayde had.

“Well, what’s your excuse?” Kayden quipped.

“Jayde shot with two hands, I shot with one. Of course I’m not going to be as accurate as he was,” Kivenaal replied, before patching up the target.

Kayden, Jayde, and Kivenaal watched as the remaining soldiers and Constantin took on the 50 meter target, with Kivenaal shaking his head at Rohan’s absolute disaster on full display.

“How the hell can Jayde shoot a tighter group on the 50 meter target with a revolver than Rohan did with a rifle?” Kivenaal asked, seeming surprised by how bad Rohan had done.

“As I said, “Beginner’s luck,” Kivenaal. I’d bet, right now, 50 Syrkals, I couldn’t do it again if I tried,” Jayde replied.

“I have no fucking clue. And he’s the one mocking others for THEIR bad aim.” Hans commented, pointing at Rohan who, by this time, was sat at the end of the row of tables ,sulking at how the others were making blatant fun of his firearm incompetence.

“Regardless of how shitty anyone’s job was. Jacques and I get the bigger bunks.” Constantin confirmed once more before turning around for the present Shift Happens crew, “We are done here, for the most part. Unless you need me… or us… for anything over here, we would get to what we are here for.”

“One moment, actually,” Kivenaal said with a smirk. “Jayde, I’ll take that bet. Double or nothing: You land one shot on that 100 meter target, you’ll get $3600. That’s 100 Syrkals worth.”

Jayde groaned. “Fine. But if I’m pushing my distance, I have a request. What’s the furthest target everyone here thinks they can hit? Your choice of weapon, your choice of target, 5 shots.”

Kayden shrugged. “I’ll go with what I managed: I hit the 50 meter target. I know I won’t land a shot on the 100 meter one, so I’m not going to try.”

Kivenaal looked at the targets, then said, “I’ll go with maybe on the 200 meter target, my rifle.”

Jayde walked over to the 100 meter target’s lane, then asked, “Anyone else feel like picking a target and going for it?”

Kivenaal smiled, then said, “Anyone wants the 200, I’ll gladly share. No way in hell will I hit the 350 that’s down there. Maybe on a dead-calm day, but not in this crap.”

“I can try for the 200 meters, but the wind is less than ideal… In good conditions, i can aim well past 300 meters somewhat consistently.” Constantin commented, dragging his suitcase across the row of tables to the 200 meter lane.

Likewise and without a word, Jacques joined him there, feeling brave. Hans instead elected to try the 100 meter one, with the others not even trying due to how poor their aim was in the earlier rounds.

Jayde took his place at the 100 meter target, drawing his revolver and aiming downrange. Deciding he’d need all the help he could get, he cocked the hammer back, choosing to fire his 5 shots in single-action for the lighter trigger pull, waited for a brief pause in the wind, and fired five times.

Likewise, Kivenaal took his five shots at the 200 meter target, regretting being cocky and challenging Jayde already as he tried to hit that rather-distant target with only the assistance of his precision rear iron sights to try making a difference.

When they walked down the range to check their targets, Jayde was outright shocked to see that, not only had he gotten all five shots on target, they were vaguely grouped into the center-of-mass, meaning in an actual fight, those would have been useful shots.

Kivenaal, on the other hand, found the only shot he’d made that had gone near the target was a hole in one of the sandbags helping keep the target frames upright. He looked over at Jayde and groaned. “Really? “I couldn’t do it again if I tried,” and then you kill the 100 meter target? That’s not “beginner’s luck,” Jayde, that’s training.”

The two of them stepped back to allow Constantin, Jacques, and Hans to do their rounds after patching up Jayde’s target. Kivenaal shook his head, then said, “Yeah, Jayde’s properly scary with that pistol. I’m a man of my word, Jayde’s earned $3600 fair and square, and I’m not stupid enough to “double or nothing” that one on the 200 meter target. At this point, he’d probably do it just to spite me.”

“I’m not stupid enough to take that bet. I might take 5 at the 200 meter target out of curiosity, but… That’s beyond the effective range of my revolver,” Jayde admitted, reloading his gun and holstering it.

For another time, Constantin stepped up and readied himself, taking a good 10 minutes to send his 5 arrows downrange. But as predicted, the grouping was still very tight, save for a wild one that went way left due to a gust of wind.

“I’m happy with that, given the shit weather.” he remarked before heading out to collect his arrows and tape off the holes, which was far less annoying this time since none actually went through the target, instead being stuck to it.

Jacques followed suit, finishing off with what could be described as ‘marginally effective’ at best.
“Yeah the weather is shit… I also went try-hard mode earlier…” he said once he returned from fixing his results.

In the meantime, Hans went about his 100m rifle attempt, which went even worse than Jacques just did at twice the range.
“Try-Hard my ass…” he grumbled, “You not being in a sniper squad of sorts still is beyond me…”

“Failed rank exams. Thrice. Am redoing basic because of it.” Jacques replied, watching Hans head to the target board.

Kivenaal chuckled. “If you guys want to see someone take on the far target, I can call over Malavera and let him know you lot want to see him shoot,” Kivenaal said.

Jayde glanced at Hans’ 100 meter rifle pattern, then asked Constantin, “Is this an improvement on their usual, or similar to what they usually do, or have they gotten worse? I mean, I know that my results are a bit skewed - I live in the United States, after all, so I have access to shooting ranges at just about any time I want - but somehow I don’t think I should be out-shooting soldiers with rifles when I’m using a pistol.”

“The average recruits shoots better than he - or anyone else barring Dupont - does. Not as tightly as him, though. Their lack of aim is part of the reason why they are here. Dupont serves as a benchmark of sorts.” Constantin explained, which did not surprise anyone amongst his ranks, given that this was information that they were given ahead of time, “There’s no chance i am even trying the 350 meter one, so i shall drag the dunce club and myself back to base and get on patrol. Is about time as well…”

With the range time over and beds assigned in a totally fair and reasonable manner, the group went back to their trailers, with Jacques and Constantin staying outside and patrolling camp soon after.
The others made use of public electricity powering trailer AC and got cozy within until their turn came.

[MrdjaNikolen]

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 0.4: Real journey begins now

Thanks to @Madrias on collabing for small part of ARI and tad bit bigger part of Blazing freeze
Short blurb included Valentin from team of @Elizipeazie in latter of two

Point and shoot, will leave that to battle discussion

So, that is one way to leave impression on people…
Ofc we are refering to first interaction between Amanda and Shift Happens.
Well, one part of it atleast, but it doesnt truly matter.

-Two-headed one was able to lift front of our vehicle previous time. I really needed to tell that earlier bcos i knew this kinda thing could have happened.
-Relax, Pi, it went absolutely fine.
-Not convinced on that
Besides, i prefer if we arent seen as that team with a PITA member
I hope you gathered all info from that match you wanted
-Oh, absolutely not, but trying to pick up fights with people on your side is…prob not good idea.
Well, if you happen to barely know them that is.

Mat caught glance of something and that brought attention of Chicota.
He followed where Mat was looking at

-You wanna go?
-Uhhh…maybe if those guys finish, im not in a hurry.
I have gun and i perhaps would use it if needed.
-They happen to look very much like animals we have here on Earth and its not too far fetched to assume they can smell shit.
And seems they are experienced enough to recognise you were in absolute fear back then.
So gather the gun and some ammunition and we shall head over.

Speaking of head, there was certain creature having two of them flexing some shooting skills.
Ok, flexing might be too strong of word but indeed didnt inspire much confidence in Mat
That is covered here and it was good read atleast for me although its length might not be to all tastes
Mat has hauled his weapon and decided to shoot at target

-Argh, i missed.
-Yup you did. (Chuckles) Its fair to say that you are not familiar with weapon…at all.
-They are all so good.
-They are familiar with their weapons and had lot of practice and you have neither of those two at your side.
Better concentrate on shooting rather than talking

Some time has passed. Fair bit of bullets was used and not a lot ended in targets.

-This is terrible.
-Well yes, but beats having no weapons and you did improved a little.
Having as much ammunition as you wish, there would be ample opportunity to practice.
-Granpa that gave me weapons and ammunition leads weapon company and i have ancestor that was…hmm, not really sure what he would happen to be, but was also very skilled with weapons…i think he did had military experience.

-Ye but i should note that families happen to evolve over time. Besides, its likely that you just arent that interested in it all.
For example, Oldie is undergraduate electrical engineer that has no particular physical strength.
He is rather smart and highly educated individual.
His oldest known direct ancestor was blacksmith: if said ancestor is first then Oldie is 8th in that bloodline…and i think it continued until 3rd generation
Yet, Oldie is def not fit for said job.
-That didnt help much. I have no idea who this Oldie is, for starters.
-Ah, just an old person i happen to know and of whom i have some knowledge of bloodline

Before our older people decide to complain about potentially being called old, fear not, as Oldie is reserved for one person in particular and will not be utilised on others, even if they are older than Oldie/me
Lets say that i know that few readers of this text will be older than that and will be far from what one would consider old in usual sense
Feel free to dive into your own family tree bcos you never know how deep you may be able to go: that blacksmith ancestor i mentioned was born in 1760.
Anyway…

-Im not sure if im really willing to go around and try to pick up spent bullets and casing
-No problem, we can ask Pi to do so. She may bring stuff that isnt either of those, but hosts will appreciate not needing to do that bit of work themselves.

To cut story short, Andrea decided to join in and help her friend on that cleaning part.

---

-I was able to kinda damage/hurt him. Considering we havent intended to hurt each other, we havent really went with all we got but i can potentially defeat him.
-Hmm true, but then again considering how big and strong Kasiya is, wouldnt be surprized if he can hurt you as well.
He fought shirtless, for one.
Both of us have some tricks up our sleeves…well kinda…but who knows what he or rest of group can deliver in that regard.
He said he can apparently fight but, its rather unlikely he would be properly equipped for any more serious fighting.
-I think i saw both you two and them using shooting range.
-Oh yeah, he did had some pistol of sorts…less than ideal, but gives possibility of ranged attacks.
That leaves armor, which i find not very likely, seeing that he isnt particularly fond of fighting and VERY unlikely to choose it as his job or interest via other means.
-Yup, others could easily
Wait…he shares same surname with that cyborg guy.
Takaraya, was it?
He didnt seemed to have artificial limbs himself
-There were two guys from VerBankas high school with same surname that werent related.
Also came from same place, interestingly enough.
-Neither would happen to be particularly memorable but yes, thats good example.
But ye, if those hosts do happen to have armor and weapons, it wouldnt be question of “if” but “when” they would dispose of what we usually encounter.

ROOOAAAARRRRR!!!! Watt is happening?

So now we decided to briefly mention Kaylie. She is taller and heavier than most female characters of mine and is both only female and smallest member that Shift Happens has in their team
As you might conclude from title and one of earlier posts by Madrias, she was source of roaring.
Absolutely noone was happy about her roar, but it seems it was to attract attention for good reason.

-What is happening?
-We need to gather in center of camp it seems.
-Lets go

As already mentioned there was need for wait, since Val needed to recompose himself
He was also the one to speak up.

-Sounds strained…could have brought megaphone
-Shush

Listening up until THAT moment, as some other team was specifically brought into attention.
Only now, our group realised among all members of teams were two small cars moving around.
This attracted some interest, but was not possible to deepen the thought on that as Val continued…

-So our plugs are 8 and 24
-Good, they shall be delivered to our team then.
-Lets take a look…and plugs are on their car.
They cant be removed from their car.
-Ah ok, thats not on me to worry about.

Anyway Mat had realized that cable is very fucking heavy (36 kg heavy) and so he decided to pass on that.

-Both me and Amanda can deal with that, so rest of you can go back and await at the car.
-This isnt so heavy that it needs two of us to carry it to the cars.
Wait…where are you…
Chicota?
.
.
.

At this point she realized she is only member of Mravolinski-Chitco nearby.

-Eh fuck it, i can carry this myself.
Now im presented with unique problem of how to load myself up in order to get it to our cars.
Ohh…i have a NASTY idea…
CHICOTA!!!
-YOU SAID YOU CAN CARRY THEM ON YOUR OWN
-I CANT STACK THEM ON MY OWN
-HOW EXACTLY IS THAT MY PROBLEM?
-I HAVE AN IDEA
-I DONT CARE

Some silence and an object has taken flight
Object was caught and swiftly returned to sender through air

-I. DONT. CARE.
-Hmm i have another idea.

Admitedly, she hasnt really trained to be juggler but we can reasonably assume she would be rather good at it.
And so she juggled four items around until Chicota was reached.

-Nice skill.
-Can you help me put them down?
-No.
-Really?
-No.
-How about i tell you “Please”?
-No.

-I think we attracted too much attention already
-No.

He went into car and pulled out shaving foam, which was lightly applied to Amanda’s face.

-Now you look the part. Cant really procure some other “clown-look” essentials, but this will have to do.
-Very funny.
-Thats the point.

After few minutes, Amanda had finished with juggling gimmicks.
Cable would be extended and now they intended to draw power from steam car as coiled up cable isnt going to be useful for power.
As such, Amanda and Chicota had returned to Robert for plugging them up and this time cable would really draw the needed power.

-Ok, now we could settle in for the night
-I really need to shave

…and Mat obtained some shaving foam from Amanda’s face to do it, as said foam was still present.
Very much later

-This truly is wonderful night. Shame rest is sleeping and cant watch the sky.
-They also cant look at your face which looks hilarious.
-Not my problem

Rest of night was spent by these two discussing fighting bad guys and sleeping soundly by remaining part of team

ARI (Argument, Rising, Information)

Some stretching marked the rise of our group. It became clear that they werent fully happy about sleeping arrangements, or atleast that would be the case with ones that slept…drivers meeting had resulted in very interesting decision

-Hmm, you cant drink and drive…seems i may adopt different approach to my father here.
-And what would that be?
-Enjoying the life from back seat. We have enough drivers already.
-Out of them, two are incompetent.
-Thats underestimating you and Siviko. You may be very old and as such of not great reflexes, but you did traveled last year by yourself.
-True, but i would not want to bear consequences if i bump their cars by accident.
Same, i presume, goes for my son

Attention was turned to nodding cat

-There would be no lasting consequences, as it would be obvious it was an accident.
That being said, i…really dont think it would ever come down to that in first place
-If needed, consider some driver time anyway.

---

-We will need to see how getting to that Rift would be done.
-I think i have an idea of how it might happen…
Last year, we used some frame with some…foil of sorts?..and it was like mirror in other world.
-Yes, and there are no mirrors around here.
-Hmm, maybe that shed…we shall investigate.
Seems small, but what they gave us meets description.
Too narrow to allow two cars to enter…
-Ok, we shall check with hosts…

But before they would move away from cars, Amanda decided to point out something she noticed.

-Im not sure that thats smart idea. Kasiya has an armor on him.
-Oh boy, that kinda makes him having quite some advantage on you, dont you think?
-You think he is angry at me for yesterday? Bcos i didnt get that impression.
-And you want to anger him? Malavera just described one way to do it.
-NOT A FUCKING CHANCE
-Hmmm, i might spy someone who is in love…
-NOO
-Oh im not convinced of that at all.

Amanda recollected thoughts and adopted less shouty tone

-Look…im not emotional about many things and no, im not having crush on Kasiya.
I just wouldnt want to anger him due to him being good fighter and on our side.
-To me, that sounds like you wouldnt mind having some less fight-y “fights” with him.

Rest chuckled

-Reasoning?
-Well, he is first individual you met that you might picture as good fighter that isnt part of our group already.
As such, you would prob aim towards having children with such individual.
-That doesnt mean anything. I would not be opposed to that idea, as having offspring stronger and better fighters than me is totally fair game and he can provide that.
But im not going to actively seek that kinda relation, partially bcos i may have made…interesting first impression.
Oh yea…about that…

She closed distance to Chicota, ending her sentence

…any news on your and Aydar Junior’s night with those females you interacted?
-Do both of you need to remind me that that happened? Some stuff is better off forgotten…
-Ah, Andrea had also went digging there i see…would be interesting to see how you two arrived at that point…

Chicota was uncomfortable and Amanda was rhetorical: she knew full well what led to that convo yesterday

-Ye…very interesting…i have no news on whether or not there were new beings created as result of that.
-Really, that kind of stuff can put us into real big trouble.
They exist and decide to side with our baddies, we are in for very bad time
-What i know is non-important to say: two of us just had some casual fun, barren any further or deeper emotions.
-That “casual fun” can be beggining to troubles we cant really match.

---

Pi decided to interrupt

-We shall get going and clear this getting to Rift up with hosts.
MOVE ALONG, THATS AN ORDER

Rest of group was surprized by this, but did closed off distance to hosts
Until i say otherwise they are talking and walking towards HG-TVs

I…might have went too deep into that “leader” role…i dont know much about time but will prefer not to waste it.
-But he is armored…
-MAT FOR GOD SAKE…I COULDNT BE LESS BOTHERED ABOUT HIS CLOTHING
-Thats an armor…
-So what, you prefered to see him with no shirt?
You will be caught lacking compared to him no matter what, and no clothing will EVER change that.
-But he could be dangerous after happenings of yesterday…as far as we know, Amanda’s behaviour could be reasoning behind him being armored
-So what, i dont fear death…well, mine at least…

Mat was trying to prove his point and tried to grasp for last straw of hope

-He could hurt Andrea…
-I would protect her, dont you worry.
-How?
-If it would really come down to it, fight against him with all i have, allowing her to escape.
-Uh…im sure he would wreck you in like…i dunno…immideately?
-Still counts as fight: im stupid enough to fight off Dyre last year bcos i wanted to help and would be even more stupid when it comes to protecting Andrea.
Besides, he can be reasoned with unlike those
Anyway…

Turns toward nearby host members

-Excuse us for some in-team arguments. We are here bcos while i suspect we might enter Rift through that shed, rest of group is not convinced

Kaylie and Kasiya both overheard the crew approaching them, both recognizing the crew as Team Mravolinski-Chitco, or at least, a couple of the members of that team.

“Kasiya’s armored,” Kaylie said, “because of the talking cars. They make him nervous.”

“I’m not fond of fighting,” Kasiya admitted. “But if I had to with this armor on, I can, and it wouldn’t end well for whatever I’m fighting.”

When they were asked about entering the Rift through the shed, Kaylie waved over Jayde. “Hey, Jayde, mind giving them a practical demonstration of why the Rift shed will work?”

Jayde shrugged, bringing his bag and canteen over. He held up his canteen, then asked, “How much water do you think it holds? A liter? Two liters? Certainly not three, right?” He motioned to Kasiya to hand over his “canteen”, which happened to be a ten-liter water-labeled jerry can with a long, heavy strap to let him hang it over his shoulder. Jayde opened the lid and tipped it upside down to show it was empty, then uncorked his own canteen and started filling up Kasiya’s one. It took a few minutes, but soon, Kasiya’s canteen was full, the lid closed, and handed back to Kasiya. Jayde then pulled a few glasses out of his bag and offered, “Would you like a drink?”

Kaylie smirked. “See, Jayde uses a lot of magic to solve problems. The shed is merely a doorway to our destination. The Rift is just behind those doors. Or it will be once Jayde and Kivenaal open it.”

Chicota and Amanda chuckled upon hearing the reason for wearing the armor

-Not to sound rude for thinking thats kinda ridiculous, but from my perspective it is kinda ridiculous.
-Well, that might happen to be due to fact you are pretty big and strong even without armor.
We had seen cars in question and…both are tiny.
That being said…we may not be best reference, as we happen to have some friends that can be denoted as autonomous cars
-I think “robots shaped like cars” can kinda do as description.
They are still usable in normal fashion, but can drive on their own if they want or need.

After gathering all of courage he had, Mat dared to ask question

-Is there any specific reason for that uneasyness? Bcos, yes, im not sure how that can disrupt such big individual.

At this point, Pi recalled something that might have been step towards understanding of this.
But there are some questions that would need to be answered to clear that up…and, try as she might, she couldnt recall if Kaylie and Jayde are aware of how that event actually played out.
Scariest part is…she cant exactly ask them on that, as was advised to play with alternative story until being absolutely sure.
Before her concerns could have been visible, Kaylie waved for her husband.

Pi also recalled something similar to this…demonstration in front of them

-Uhhh…not sure if its good thing to ask, but can you remember when our team woke all of you up during night?
I recall we getting lot of gravel and shit in bed of our truck after that…is that something similar to this?

Mat decided to respond

-Who cares, this is awesome.
-Hehe, that whole world is magical
-Really?
-Yes, really, Mat. I was there last year.
-And water is really nice

Amanda decided to speak up

-So that sorts out entering the Rift.
-Are you still gonna wear that shaving foam mask?
(In earlier part of this WIP post, Chicota applied shaving foam on entire Amanda’s face. Said foam is still present during this conversation)
-Yes.
-You two idiots wasted MY foam to fool around.
-Well, that means you can grow a beard…which means that you dont come across like crybaby right off the bat.
-Rich coming from foam-enhanced asshole.
I swear im only normal member of team here…

Kasiya sighed. “The cars are creepy to me. They look like ordinary cars until they move, they don’t have eyes or a face to look to when they speak. It’s… Unsettling to say the least.”

Kaylie shrugged. “Also doesn’t help that his mother got hit by a self-driving taxi, either.”

Jayde chuckled as Pi asked about the mess he’d poured into their truck bed, then opened the flap on his bag and reached inside, pulling out a loaf of fresh bread, still steaming hot like it had come out of the oven a few minutes ago. “The bag is bigger on the inside, yes.”

Chicota had spoken
-That’s actually rather valid reason. I would like to think that their “face” would be headlights, grille, bumper etc. but as we havent met and interacted with them, cant say more than that.
But, if given the chance, they might happen to position themselves in better light.
Would say that i hope mother recovered, but…i have feeling there may be some…results of that that cant be recovered.

Siviko had noted that convo goes in direction that was, sadly, rather familiar to him

-That would prob have nothing to do with self-driving a vehicle.
My biological family is gone in its entirety excluding me…seeing that we were apparently bunch of stray cats, wouldnt rule out possibility of some of them…uhhhhh…
-Being run over by car?
-…ye…well, it doesnt need to end there…that would be theme for different conversation
Also it might not be welcome to dig in deeper than needed there

Pi was intrigued

-How are you sure you would get out right thing from the bag?
That bread could have easily been something not as nice or tasty.
-Well, at this point that might be magic as well.
Who is not to say he cant turn gravel into bread anyway…
-I dont think thats how magic necessarily works, Mat.
-But it could work.
-Probably

Pi was looking around, thought and spoke

-I would imagine both of our teams would be technically busy.
We shall see you on the other side of Rift
-Ye, definitely looking forward to that journey…i will drive.
-Nice…hopefully we will meet and befriend some more teams in other camp
-We will ask you to not be first contact with them, as we dont want to be pictured as bunch of assholes whose sole interest is kicking out some bad guy’s ass and claiming we are best fighters in town
-Dont worry, i…had figured that out eventually.

Jayde smiled. “Well, if you’re wanting something specific, it’s usually near the top of the bag. As for changing things like gravel into bread… I mean, it’s possible but it’s not worth the energy. That said, with the proper application of magic, I can turn this simple bread loaf into a variety of different baked goods, if needed. It’s easier to change items from one thing to another if they’re similar in some way, after all.”

“So when he filled your truck bed with gravel and glass,” Kaylie said, “he really wanted to do that.”

“A bottomless bag like this does slowly increase in weight if you keep adding things to it. That was just one of the first opportunities I had to dispose of all of that junk,” Jayde replied.

-Not that we can blame you…it must have been really annoying being woken up so deep into night
Good thing is that we arent likely to repeat that move this year.
And on this note, we shall see each other in next camp

They were now back and Pi had some hard thought

-Whats the matter?
-Remind me, Chicota, that i need to tell you something. This reaction of Kasiya towards those two cars could be based on something similar to what we had last year.
I advise to keep said conversation secret, leak no info.
-How about we have that talk when we arrive in other camp?
-Fine by me…im just worried i may accidentally leak it in wrong time in wrong place

Rift walk...or shall we say drive

After our group had returned back and prepared to go, Amanda had idea to go fetch power cables.
After very likely confusing whoever manned Robert at that point, she returned and cables were placed.

-Hmm, i have briliant idea. Lets go and fit into Saguaro

Five individuals fit in small wagon.

-Amanda, you will drive. We had reached agreement that you are to drive truck.
-Ok, you arent confident in getting through?
-Well, im definitely not as skilled driver…also we are first.
-Ok.

Ohh boy, what a sight it was being there, leaving all but three members in awe upon the conditions they are now facing.
Pi gathered no particular emotion from this all, as she saw it unfold already last year
Amanda was concentrated on driving and didnt mind conditions by any measure, as this was rather regular road after all, barring its irregular surroundings
Chicota opted to cuddle with his favourite object, that being beer bottle.
This bliss of sorts was interrupted by some stops not caused by this team

-Oh, fuck…this will take a while, is it?
-Probably, i dont recall this being thing last year.
-Shall we assist?
-I would do what i can to help and i advise you to do the same.

Grabbing CB radio pre-set by driver, she notified other members in other car

-I would advise helping as much as you can. Its on you tho if you will help or not
Just…dont be like Amanda

Speaking of Amanda, she ventured to Rollers and saw that they do have plenty of assistance
One wave later to guys, she was on her way to see if there is someone else with issue
Similar story applied to Chicota, but he had his glass friend in tow in case he decides to drink some more
There were couple of engine issues, few tires and some refills but eventually other end was reached.
Massive difference in temperature was not particularly welcome towards older members of group and both Mat and Pi had shown some struggle as well

Blazing freeze

Amanda had heard a whistle and approached Tangerine Tank with other end of cables

-Representative of team Mravolinski-Chitco

This was followed by Val taking cable ends and plugging them in himself

-Ok, thanks for your service
-Have a nice day

Amanda has joined back of group when she saw other two females getting back.

-Pi is…unwell.
-Not my problem, get in car as that might help

---

-Khm khm
-What?
-I believe that you asked to talk with me about something regarding Kasiya and previous year.
-Ah, let us speak in private.
Original turn of events was covered here

-You recall mention of one team having fatality last year?
-Yes.
-Officially known story is that they crashed during the stage
-Oh well, it happens. What, their vehicle was inoperable?
-Will get to that, but in essence yes.

Steps could have been heard crunching through the snow
Andrea had arrived

-We have some big important talk here.
It requires privacy. We had mentioned that its not for everyones ears.
-I was still not fully happy in that regard…and “privacy” indicates something completely else in my mind
-What would that be?
-Take a guess…anyway what you were talking about?
-Some guys last year crashed last year. Skill issue, i presume.
-Thats not worth being secretive, stuff of that kind happens.
-…its also a cover story. I asked for Chicota bcos i know he will keep quiet.
-And your best friend apparantly cant?

At this point, girls started to visibly shiver as response to cold

-Pi, im sure we can be trusted enough to not leak the info. Besides, this trailer of yours might freeze away and i kinda care too much about her well-being.
-“Care”
-Story can have disastrous consequences if leaked out, so…i prefer being on safe side.
-Eh, lot of people around are new to all this, so i think they wouldnt care.
-Hrmph fine

Pi took heavy sigh

-Team that havent made it had hidden monster in car. Monster was inhabiting their car, killed one of members and needed to be killed itself.
-How that makes sense in terms of Kasiya`s fear of those two tiny cars?

Dramatic pause

-Their car was the monster. It transformed into monster.
-Oh god, thats…quite the twist…
-Uhh, im pretty sure he couldnt have been disturbed by that.
-No hosts were present at that point. As far as we know, they know about cover story.
-Im pretty sure they need to know so they can be prepared in such case

Chicota started pulling away

-Stop
Are you sure thats good idea?
What do you think they will do?

He stopped and turned back

-Well, they deserve to know the truth.
-This isnt about if they deserve it or not…oh god its too cold…
-Spare the words, young lady

That last sentence was followed by certain man exiting woods towards them

-YOU
-Ofc im me, what did you expect otherwise?
-You fucking asshole…how long you exactly waited there?

Pi had grabbed man by his collar, pulled him closer and continued to speak
Hmm…maybe “shout in his face” is more apt description

ANSWER ME
-You had lost your mind due to stress, fatigue and cold. You might not be apt for leader just yet, but are on good road.
I dare to say that im proud of your development.
You two are free to leave, me and Chicota would finish the conversation.

They obliged
Chicota turned to guy, who spoke

-As Andrea said, i would advise against that idea you currently have.
And as both of us can handle this cold, we can continue for however long we like.
-Care to introduce yourself?
-Unluckiest member of my kind would be apt description.
I was almost attacked by bunch of people when i sneaked into their truck…oh, you brought it out this year as well…i applaud the dedication.
-You certainly will be attacked if you dont explain yourself
-Ah, you are just like your father, he reacted same way
Well, you heard what Pi had to say. I was one that told them that.
This year, we heard some rumours that there will be some returning teams from last year and unfortunately, my colleagues sent ME to make sure teams that are oblivious STAY oblivious until they actively decide to search for truth.
-You really take great care of that?
-We must. What SH does is very nice in my opinion.
-I have an idea.
We can get into car and you can tell us there
-Only if you promise it will not leak outside of vehicle
Besides, this whole thing isnt to my taste as you can imagine

Two headed into camp and were met by some shooting from range

-Ah hosts having some fun there
-Im not confident in what most of those people can do…good thing i know this big group has many ready to rise to occasion if needed

They entered Kontir, with girls already in it.

-We decided to talk in warm place.
-Go ahead, but should have announced yourself earlier
-Unlike most of you, i actually have something called “life”
Anyway, why not talking to hosts…they should be familiar with it?
I will tell you why.

• Knowing that you slipped some big threat into this world, threat locals arent prepared for…leaves quite a bit of sense of guilt, wouldnt it?
  Endangering other participants and locals is not their interest
  They had gotten that club over there to protect the camp, for reasons of Dyre variety.
  If they had known about that fight, there is chance of this event not being a thing in first place
• Locals wouldnt be happy about getting some big monster that is unknown by them.
  Dyre are monsters, but they are very well known and not exclusively hostile.
  So they could judge entire group as hostile and you will not be welcome

Man yawned, indicating he is tired.

-You raised some good points.
-Oh man, i really wasnt myself back there…can you forgive me?
-No. I dont know how to forgive, as those two set me up.
I like my role in this world, but…im not fan of roaming around in cold.
You can stay with us tonight, hopefully that will make up for my rudeness back in woods

Local thought and made decision

-That will do nicely, would be enough to get me to next town. Hopefully, there will be enough space…
-Ye, there will be enough…our accomodations arent best ever, but we will manage.

---

Considering that Loojoe and Siviko didnt want to risk issues that would be caused by combination of their old age and cold climate, they had decided to occupy rear seat of Saguaro.
Granted, car was still not warmest place to be in, but they decided this is bearable.
Decision was made for Mat being with them in car during night.
But before that…he has plans.

[Mikonp7]

TEAM GUNSHIP

(oh god oh boi i forgor a thing )

The tale of two idiots in a deadtrap:

Brothers Paul and Aaron Jäger are not new to these tips of rally’s. Already knowing how to run a shot up Van through the US of A’s or how to wiggle oneself out of getting arrested . While both of them are not as young anymore as there were back then, they matured over the past years. Or at least you would think so, until Aaron brought the car in for the journey:

Haapala StreetCruiser

You be surprised what some old people have hidden in their sheds

Normally a StreetCruiser is a hardcore street racer, giving you a first person experience on high octane open wheel racing while still wrecking your back like the real thing.

Original car

A lot had to be changed to make this even somewhat offroad capable. After drilling new holes into the fiberglass body to be able to add fit actually storage, the whole suspension had to be changed from tarmac hugging springs to more or less soft bouncy ones which would not break on first impact. The wheels also got a slight upgrade… which required a quick wheel well adjusting… with a saw. Also some underarmor was fitted to make the car to be atleast able to slide over rocks. The engine was mostly kept stock, only getting a quick retune to cope with the diffrent fuel, but even then the 3.6L Inline 6 still produces over 300hp.

Lets just hope that we don’t loose our tent while dunehopping because this got no trunk to hold stuff like that

[SurrealCereal]

Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures, Take 2: The Tale of Ryouchi Katou.
Featuring: Team VSmgAB
(Written with @Elizipeazie. )
Daytona Beach, Florida.
Halifax Medical Center.

Bright lights. A mechanical beep. The life sapped drab monogamy of white walls surrounded by white walls. Or, as you may know it, the backdrop to a normal checkup. “Alright, I just want you to follow my finger. Okay?” It was an arbitrary check, to see if Ryouchi could focus on a moving object, but one that he’d failed numerous times as of late, owing to the concussion he sustained during his latest race. The cherry on top of a pie that was the miserable season he’d already found himself in, trying to adapt to a new car, new series, and new way of doing things, but dealing with the constant setbacks of parts failing, fenders bending, and the sky becoming the floor for a brief moment. To say Ryouchi’s confidence was at a low would be generous.

At the very least, he’d recovered enough to follow a finger, though doing so without entering a melodramatic tirade of mental anguish proved to be difficult. “Alright, you have no other symptoms, right?” Ryouchi nodded at the doctor. While on paper, Ryouchi’s reasons for having yet to start a race in the ongoing NASCAR season was not being medically cleared, the truth was that Ryouchi hadn’t bothered getting himself cleared until Giacomo urged him to. While he’d had seen the value of a sabbatical after a nightmarish season like the one he had, Giacomo, as usual, lacked the nuance or even basic mental faculties to process why someone might be in a bad mood after crashing enough times to rack up a small fortune.

“Alright. I think it’s safe to medically clear you for competition, your license will be renewed by tomorrow. Glad to have you back on the track.” Ryouchi wordlessly left the emergency room, greeted by his mom, the reason he had such a big target on his back in the first place, but in a way the only person who truly understood what he was going through. Upon noticing he’d re-entered the waiting room, she smiled up at him, wordlessly beaming the expectation that everything went well into Ryouchi’s mind. She was right of course, everyone at MCP figured that he must have healed by now, but nobody had the heart to bring it up. “So? Feeling better?”

3-50 Moon, Shitbox Rally Camp.

Ryouchi, it turned out, was not feeling better as he stirred awake, not feeling any more rested then his stint sleeping in the tin box that was the Faenza during the rift journey. still being stuck with that feeling of something poking his back 5 different ways. In a moment of nighttime paranoia that befalls the best of us upon waking up in the middle of the night, Ryouchi quickly, yet steathily, shot out of his sleeping bag and began shaking it mercilessly, hoping to shake out whatever sticks or bugs had gotten in during his sleep. While at first, he wasn’t able to shake out anything other than the odd dust bunny here or there, a beetle, or, was it a roach? Some flying insect that he couldn’t really make out rocketed past him, and out of the tent he had been sleeping in, into the great unknown. The question of how the beetle had actually gotten inside at all, though, was quickly answered when Ryouchi noticed that his once secure tent was completely ajar, and the sounds of people talking were growing increasingly animated in the distance.

Thinking on his feet, Ryouchi quickly looked around for anything he could improvise as a weapon, and quickly rolled up his sleeping bag to confront the intruder, only to find Giacomo and Johnny obsessing over car talk, speaking loud enough so that anyone who was still awake could hear them, and anyone who wasn’t was bound to be soon. “All I’m saying is that, if you look at the statistics and consider his pace, Vittorio Brambilla deserved to race at Ferrari! Why does his brother Tino get to do it but the driver who can actually win in Formula One can’t?” Ryouchi is taken aback for a moment, honestly amazed that this conversation is even happening in the middle of the night. It sounded like Giacomo was trying to argue that Vittorio Brambilla deserved to drive for the Scuderia… but why do you need to have this conversation now?

“Uncle, he didn’t even drive a Formula one car until he was almost 40, what’s the point of hiring someone that far along? Clay Regazzoni was already at the team at the time, and he was also nearing his 40s but with twice the experience!” Ryouchi quickly separated himself from the discussion, which was quickly turning into a heated, loudly whispered argument between the two, and left to clear his mind for the time being. It wasn’t long, though, until he found himself approaching a hulking, humanoid mass not too far from the camp. Squinting his eyes, he slowly approached the figure, wielding his bedroll as a weapon, steadily making inroads as he approached, until he snapped a twig about a meter from his target, to seemingly no response. His neurons actively frying from the stress of enduring the encounter, Ryouchi creeped forward ever so slightly, letting out a strained “H-hello?” Into the forest

Likewise, after having been forced awake because of a breaker being tripped, Valentin just could not return back to sleep. For almost an hour, Valentin laid in his ‘bed’, staring holes into the roof of his compartment, somewhat regretting the lack of windows up there to see the stars.

Eventually, Valentin just gave up trying, heading out of his trailer again.
There, he was met almost instantly by Rohan and William, who were currently doing their laps around camp as part of their patrol rounds.

“Can’t sleep?” William inquired.
“Not at this time. Shift Happens tripped their breaker a while ago… Could not return to sleep since. Now i am trying to kill time until tired again.” Valentin replied, taking a look around the mostly quiet camp, save for a couple figures in a heated discussion somewhere in camp, “might take a stroll for a while to kill time.”
“Well then… good to know i guess.” Rohan commented just before the two left for their next lap.

Soon after, Valentin found himself just beyond the invisible boundary that made up camp, taking in the scenery of moonlit mountains surrounding him, the snow-covered surfaces making it surprisingly easy to see.
Eventually, he was spoken to, which prompted him to turn around to face the someone that was talking:
“Umm… Hi?”, Valentin replied, confused as to what Ryouchi was doing with his bedroll.

Upon realizing the humanoid cryptid he thought he was pursuing in the dark was indeed just a very tall Valentin, Ryouchi’s fight or flight response quickly died down, though the panic had now given way to an awkward silence that now permeated the air between the two, broken only by the faint sound of the wind and whatever animals happened to be basking in the midnight air. Ryouchi stood there for a moment, taking in the awkward silence, sweat visibly dripping down his face, before suddenly dropping his bedroll, and trying to salvage the situation. “Oh, uh… ahem. I’m Ryouchi. Hello. I don’t think we’ve officially met yet.” Scooping up his bedroll, he quickly glanced from the scenery to Val and back, and inferred that, just maybe, he had met a fellow loner. “I uhh, see you’re also walking around by yourself, I do that too! Really clears my mind, maybe that’s something we have in common?” Ryouchi offered his free hand to Val, hoping to find an ally, or maybe even a friend, during the weeks ahead.

Similarly, Valentin also did not dare break tension between the two while inspecting Ryouchi to the best of his abilities given the limited visibility. Him dropping his bedroll had Valentin think of fetching it for him, but he was unable to act on that thought on account of Ryouchi already scrambling to collect it again.

“Uhhh… Valentin Schrant. No, we haven’t beyond power usage. I just cannot sleep after another team tripped their breaker. Need to kill time somehow…” Valentin spoke, accepting the rather awkward handshake.
He would have gotten out on a bike ride, but it would have been a frankly stupid idea to do so at night, in an unfamiliar area and without sufficiently cold-proof kit. Knowing this, he settled for the next best thing: A walk in the relative safety of being close to camp.

Ryouchi scratched his head, Might as well at least attempt a conversation, he figured. “Cool, uh, same here. I’m sure you can imagine that hanging out with Giacomo can be a handful sometimes. The guy, well, I don’t know if he “gets” it. Like, most people “get” it, he doesn’t. It’s just, y’know”. At a loss for words, Ryouchi demonstrated Giacomo’s personality by pretending that his free hand was a car, his bedroll was a cliff, and making engine sounds as he drove his hand-car-thingy off of his cliff-bed, with the car inevitably hitting the bottom and exploding, articulated using mouth sounds. “Like, most people would see that there’s a cliff and get that you should probably stop, but Giacomo doesn’t try to even lift because he thinks he can jump the other side… So, anyway, yeah, I like to take a break from it all by just going outside and just taking it all in, yknow?”

“I get more than my fair share of weird behavior from others. When your ‘normal’ is everyone else’s ‘abnormal’, ‘freaky’ or whatever you want to call it, people are bound to embrace their curiosity. You get used to it eventually…” Valentin remarks, not knowing Giacomo in person beyond possible talks regarding power use.
Ryouchi considered it for a moment. Standing out like Val did probably invited the bizzare from time to time, Ryouchi had witnessed people’s… Overbearing curiosity on a few occasions, courtesy of Giacomo asking first and thinking later. “Yeah, thats true, you can’t really stop some people. I just wish the guy would, just, I dunno, slow down? Seems a bit ironic, I know, as a racing driver, but I don’t see the point of acting without thinking. Then again, I probably wouldn’t be here if he didnt have that “action man” kind of way about him, so maybe it’s better to be in between, like, you know when it’s go time, but you’re also not callous towards what other people are feeling. Maybe thats asking too much, heh.”

Valentin thought for a moment, trying to make sense of the convoluted wording coming from Ryouchi. In failing to come up with a deeply inspuring or helpful answer, he just let out a “Mhm” in confirmation. A moment of relative quietness was broken again: “When people get excited, boundaries generally loosen up.”
“Hm… So maybe if I calm him down he’ll stop being so unbearable! Why didn’t I think of that?” Apparently, that had given Ryouchi the lightbulb moment he’d been looking for, as he nearly sprinted off to camp, before stopping himself, seemingly remembering that it was nighttime, and slowing back down to a walk. Before leaving, he turned to Valentin. “Thanks man, I think you just helped out more than you realize!” Should… someone… stop him?

“Uhh… You’re welcome?” Valentin returned. Once Ryouchi was gone, Valentin stayed behind for a while longer before eventually returning to bed himself.

Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures, Take 2: The Tale of Ryouchi Katou - FIN

[ldub0775]

4 DICKS IN A TRUCK!

(IT’S FOUR DICKS IN A TRUCK! IT’S FOUR DICKS IN A TRU~U~UCK! THEY’RE DOM, RILEY, CHRISTIAN, ROSE, AND THEY’RE 4 DICKS IN A TRUCK!)

(THEY’RE DICKS!)

---

< Characters >

(All having graduated high school in Seattle together the previous year, and bonded over being the relative “outcasts” at the school)

Dominik Shinkarev

Son of excessively wealthy Ukrainian parents, and by extension has ungodly amounts of money tucked away in a number of offshore bank accounts. Years of private schooling and tutoring gave him an acute technical and intellectual gift. Very quiet and somewhat socially reclusive. Slightly creeps the rest of the group out. Has the ability to run very quickly and perfectly silently. At least a little suspicion surrounding him possibly being magical in some way.

5’11" with military short blond hair and blue eyes, thin but muscular build, very pale skin. Always perfectly dressed.

Riley McKinnley

Son of excessively middle class parents, and also very trans. Often has Ideas™ and just as often strings Rose along. Has a very dubious stash of rather peculiar military memorabilia. Has high functioning autism and sometimes has difficulty interpreting intentions behind what people mean, however in general still enjoys being around friends and meeting people. Exceptionally skilled at dirtbike riding.

Fun fact: he went to nationals for speech and debate!

5’3" with shaggy red-brown hair, blue eyes, and thin build (imagine, if you will: young Ellie from UP as a trans boy, with slightly shorter hair.) Wardrobe consists of black sleep shirts and sweat pants/shorts and a very comfortable leather motorcycle jacket given to him by his dad.

Christian Wright

“Straight man” of the group, despite being very homosexual. Tends to watch and wait rather than leading conversations. Born into very conservative Christian family and was disowned when he revealed his gayness. Somewhat rebellious but also cautious to a fault. Was an emancipated minor before he turned 18.

5’8" with long brown hair and brown eyes. Average build with slightly more muscle. Wears mostly plaid shirts or plain tees and jeans.

Roselyn Ashford

Absolutely batshit insane (complimentary). Autistic trans girl and certified goofy goober. Got a forklift certification as a joke when she turned 18, but ended up actually finding it useful at her job.

Talks in lowercase IRL

5’10", physical desc and wardrobe defy explanation

---

< November 30th, 2022 >

Rose:
hey look i found something

Christian:
Oh god oh fuck what is it

Riley:
hmm

Rose:
shitbox

Christian:
What

Rose:
rally

Christian:
God is this one of your Internet Things™ again?

Rose:
no

(link)

Christian:
That certainly looks to be an Internet Thing™

Rose:
but what iff,,,
it wasnt

Riley:
i mean
that looks fun i guess
but what kinda shitbox do we have
the closest thing we have is? moms minivan maybe?
that cost cap looks kinda restrictive

Rose:

Riley:
fuckign wha
how are you going to get that for 2 grand
that

Rose:

Riley:
THATS NOT BETTER

Christian:
Ok to be fair rose, this does look very interesting
But you do realize that we would be going through an interdimensional portal, right?

Rose:
yes
also the rules say that any modifications and/or fixes do not count towards the 2k
>buy broken ass truck for 2k
>fix it
>now have truck

Riley:
Laws™ state that to drive a semi truck you need a CDL
no one here has a fucking CDL

Rose:
dom has a cdl

@ dominik hey you want to drive a truck

Christian:
Jesus Christ
Why does Dom have a CDL

Dom:
Yes, that sounds enjoyable.
Do we already have the truck, or are we just considering at this point?

Rose:
“Centurion 9000 Series Semi Truck And Trailer- $4000”
“Truck parked here in 1997, flooded twice. Frame slightly bent in the middle. Engine doesn’t crank but would make interesting table. Trailer has surface rust but otherwise good condition. Matching set.”

hey dom doesnt your family own like a car restoration shop or some shit

Dom:
Yes.

Rose:
hey looks like we have a solution (!)

Riley:
oh my god

---

< December 16th, 2022 >

Dom:

@ everyone

The truck is running.

Christian:
Christ howd you do that so fast

Dom:
We put in a new engine and trans, and did a frame off restoration of the rest of the truck.
Take note that at no point did I say it looked “pretty”

Rose:
DAAAAAAAAMN
that looks like its gonna suck to drive lol
you know what it needs tho?
bull horns

Dom:
Noted.
Also, I received an E-Mail from an unknown address a couple weeks ago.
It said something to the effect of “Come next year for Shitbox Rally '23”

Christian:
That’s kinda creepy
Actually no that’s exceptionally creepy
Like jesus christ how did they get your email

Riley:
does that say 50 cal?
well i have just the thing!

Rose:
what

Riley:
i got one of these

Dom:
Looks quite useful, given the circumstances, though maybe a bit excessive.

Christian:
Is
Is that an MG42?

Riley:
ye

Christian:
You have an MG42?

Riley:
ye

Rose:
is that especially heinous for some reason

Christian:

It’s a WW2 Nazi machine gun

Riley:
yes!

Rose:
cool

Christian:
How the shit am I the only one alarmed by the fact that

1. Riley has a gun
2. It’s a fucking WW2 nazi machine gun

Riley:
hey rose that original forum link you posted
whats the arrival date again?

Christian:
Oh my god

Rose:
march 31

Riley:
thx
we have like half a year to prep everything we need
hey dom poi
whats the current status of the trailer that the truck came with?

Dom:
As of right now the upfit has been taken off and the team is currently cleaning the frame. Why POI?

Riley
i say because i have had an Idea™

Rose:
hell yeah my mans finally taking the weight of my dumb ideas off my shoulders

Christian:
[Long suffering sigh.mp3]

Riley:
so i had the thought of where we would like,,, sleep
cause rooming 4 people in a truck meant to fit 1 for long periods of time would probably get old pretty fast

Rose:
good point
where does the trailer come in

Riley
so we have this trailer with basically nothing but the frame at this point right

Christian:
Yeah…

Riley:
so what if we stuck an rv on the back

Rose:
heck yeah

Christian:
Uhh where are we gonna get an rv
Weve already spent our budget

Rose:
oh shit

Riley:
it doesnt look like thats explicitly mentioned in the rules
hey dom was there a return address on that email you got

Dominik:
“Glass_Walker@automation.car”

Riley:

Rose:
why ur email look like that

Riley:
idk it came that way
anyway looks like we can just do whatever we please with the trailer
(!)
which means
rv trailer

Christian:
Fuck kinda rv are we gonna put on it though

Riley:

Rose:
looks interesting

Christian:
So its not illegal to slap an rv on the back?

Rose:
looks like it isnt

Riley:
“lol lets just cut shit out of an rv and slap it on the back of a semi trailer”

---

< January 31st, 2023 >

Dom:

@ everyone

Rose:
jesus
that looks awesome
i get to sleep in a fucking semi truck

Riley:
WE get to sleep in a fucking semi truck

Rose:
hell ye

Riley:
we should like visit it in person, i think
that would be cool

Christian:
Yeah that would be cool
Where is the shop?

Dom:
“Greenlake Auto Repair”

Riley:
i have work n shit to do rn tho
meet at the shop at like 6?

Rose:
i still dont have a car lol

Riley:
then we go by minivan
man i love having a drivers license
i mean i barely passed the test but who cares

Christian:
Uhh no thanks i will drive myself thank you very much

Dom:
If we’re meeting at six, then we may as well do so over dinner. There’s much to go over on the truck yet.

Rose:
hell yeah
The Food™

Riley:
sounds good
we dine like kings

Rose:
and queens

Riley:
oh yeah lol

---

6pm, same day, at an excessively nice Chinese food place near Greenlake, Seattle, courtesy of Dom.

Dom:
“The truck and trailer are at a warehouse near here, because they didn’t fit in the shop.”

Riley:
“Yeah. So is there anything we need to know before going in? That is, about the truck and trailer.”

Dom:
“For what it’s worth, the RV on the trailer is entirely unfurnished, however it has a quite frankly impressive amount of storage. That, and the seats in the truck have yet to be reupholstered.”

Christian:
“So what should we even be bringing for this trip? I’ll have packed a couple changes of clothes, yeah, but do we need like food and shit too?”

Dom:
“I’m fairly sure food is provided, however I’ve scheduled several months rations to be delivered nevertheless. We do have no lack of storage.”

Riley:
“In other news: these are some really fucking good dumplings, and I feel entirely underdressed for how nice this restaurant is.”

Rose:
“lol i didnt know you had nice clothes”

Riley:
“Anyway, we should call the server over and get some boxes.
I want to see this truck.”

---

A few blocks away, at a warehouse that seems entirely too large for a part of town as expensive as Greenlake.

[The sound of a warehouse door clunking open]

[A phone flashlight turns on in search of a lightswitch]

[A rather violent “ka-chunk” sound is heard as the dim overhead lamps switch on, revealing:]

Riley:
“Nice.”

[TheYugo45GV]

STAGE ZERO - THE RIFT

---

Adrift in the Rift

---

A harmony of two V8s echoed in the dark blue landscape, one a late 60s big block V8, the other an 80s Euro V8, of course the cars that made these sounds were the IVERA Executive with the camper shell, and the Mayland Ambassador with its almost 20 feet of car, which trundled down the concrete slab road in convoy alongside the other vehicles. It was an amalgamation of commercial and passenger vehicles, their crews expertly piloting them towards Nehmenweld.

On board the IVERA, trailing the Ambassador, General Sabourne had taken the wheel. Amell had elected to accompany Karl up front alongside his pet wolf Ramius, and unfortunately this meant having a couple brimming with sexual tension sharing the car with him. But, it didn’t bother Landon that much, mostly because even when left alone, nothing could happen for hours, or even days. Plus, both understood the concept of time and place. Regardless, with Sabourne driving, the configuration left Aryton riding shotgun, and Denali occupying the rear bench.

“It feels like we are driving through time.” Aryton mused, watching the dark blue sky.

His uncle was no longer in uniform, instead dressed in a plain indigo t-shirt that neatly outlined most of his upper body musculature, complimented by denim jeans and his shoes were a spare pair of military grade combat boots that he’d brought, to use in the winter weather.

“You’d be right.” was the answer that came. “Turning back the clock 80 years.”

“Spooky.” Chimed Denali from the back seat.

Aryton nodded agreeingly. “Sure is.”

“I sure wonder what’s on the other side though. The places we’ll see, where we’ll stop. You and I together…”

“We’ll be out in the wilderness with nothing but the stars above us.” Longingly, the younger occupant glanced out the passenger window at the sky.

Denali smiled. “Together?”

“Together. Just us. You and I, taking in each other.”

Meanwhile, Landon had begun to grimace in disgust, covering as best he could with his free hand. Did they really have to go that far?

God help me.

If this stopped, it would be too soon. But, it was a whole lot better than having to be on the other side of a wall and hearing the nocturnal activity, like was the case at home. Why did Andrew have to bestow this curse upon him?

Aryton’s voice was growing increasingly seductive.“Feeling everything there is to offer.”

The CB radio then squawked with Karl’s voice saying something about a tire. Landon sighed in relief. “Come again?” He answered the radio.

“Every–.”

“Shut it you two! Can’t you see I’m trying to hear.” The General snapped, his authoritative, yet smooth voice silencing them. “Karl, I said come again.”

A response came from the radio. “Finally. I was gonna say we might lose a tire.” Right as that transmission came through, the Ambassador swerved violently to the left, before stabilizing and then pulling over.

In annoyance and worry, Landon cursed under his breath. “Fuck.”

At this time the convoy was also slowing down, probably because Karl had radioed ahead to the Commander and his son that they lost a tire and needed to stop. Soon all of the vehicles rolled to a stop no thanks in part to the Mayland shitting itself. The Ivera posted up just a little bit behind the boat in front of it, with Landon and Aryton climbing out to assess the situation. Karl had gotten out as well and was also assessing what had happened.

Sabourne was the first to speak. “What’s the situation?”

“Well.” Karl strained, as he stood up. “It looks like the tire came off the rim a little bit and shit out all the air. I’m guessing we’ll have to crack out the air pump you brought. Oh, and we’ll have to take the wheel off to reseat the tire.”

“Do you have a tire jack?”

“Yes. Remotely operated hydraulic.”

“Well alright then.”

Soon, after much cursing the tire was finally reseated on the rim and inflated. This meant the convoy finally got rolling again. During some of the later pit stops, the team took a little bit of time to prepare for the cold weather. Landon, because of his fur, realistically only needed a fleece lined leather jacket and some layers underneath; it was relatively the same for the other three foxes, Aryton had his trusty survival jacket, Amell chose a black skiing jacket, and Denali had brought a winter tactical coat. Karl meanwhile had elected to wear a Caracalian designer brand hoodless travel jacket, which apparently he’d bought because he had heard that it was very good at its job and the money was for the protection it offered against cold weather, same as the others, he also brought headwear.

Eventually, they reached the exit point, into the Nehmenweld cold right at the first campsite. There were mountains on all sides, and the first thing about the weather was the wind. So, this was the world they would traverse to find the cup.

The journey had begun.

---

A short interlude and showcase of the rift drive. 'Till next time

[Madrias]

Team VSmgAB & Team Shift Happens

Pre-Race Camp (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp; Part 1 (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp, Arrival. (Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, The Range (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)

---

Stage 0 Camp, Shiverwind Point, Nehmenweld, 2-and-42 Moon

Kaylie slowly woke up after a rather pleasant night with Jayde, carefully moving the larger lion’s arm off of her and sliding out from under their shared covers. The magically-insulated tent had kept their body heat in, making the tent pleasantly warm, and Jayde’s sound-deadening spells meant no one had heard the pair of them “warming up their tent” earlier. Or the second, or third times they’d had a bit of fun under the covers.

She pulled on her heavier winter clothing, her stomach lightly protesting at how long it’d been since she’d last eaten, then slipped out of the tent and zipped it shut behind her so it’d stay warm.

Kaylie opened up the trailer behind the Home Unit and climbed inside, quickly grabbing a bag of grilled chicken pieces and closing the trailer back up before walking into the Home Unit itself to reheat them. As soon as she opened the door, she was assaulted by the rush of warm air escaping the vehicle, shaking her head as she realized they had the temperature set for 80 degrees Fahrenheit. With a glance at Takaraya and Kasiya, still dozing in their bunks with two still wide open up above them, she walked to the far end of the living space, opened the microwave door, and punched in a time. She hit “start,” and no sooner had the light gone on inside the box, all the lights went out in the unit. Even the quiet rushing of the fan pushing warmed air through the unit went silent.

“Shit,” Kaylie said under her breath, walking swiftly-yet-silently out of the Home Unit, then jogging across the camp toward the sleeping trailers.

Over at VSmgAB, nothing of note was happening for the time being. Valentin, Norse, Constantin and Jacques all were asleep, with Rohan and William playing some crude games while sheltered from the cold by the trailer AC.
Mary and Hans, meanwhile, were touring camp and doing half-laps around the perimeter, split by a walk through the center, right past the orange half of the soon-to-be train.

As Kaylie made her way to the trailers, Hans takes a look around as if he heard something.
“You found anything?” Mary inquired in curiosity.
“Not really…” Hans replied, looking around some more, “thought i heard something, but the wind sure does things, it seems…”

Kaylie slowed her pace as she got close to the trailers, trying to minimize the amount of noise she was making as she knew people were sleeping inside them.

“Damn it,” Kaylie muttered to herself. “Now how am I supposed to find which one has Val in it?”

Not having noticed Kaylie earlier, Hans and Mary just went about their lap, taking a few long minutes to come back around to approach the center where all of VSmgAB was set up.
In doing so, it was not hard to spot Kaylie for real this time, which created some confusion.

“Can’t sleep, kitty-cat?”, Mary barked out with zero intent of insulting Kaylie, though it did gain her a punch to the shoulder by Hans.
“Really?” she asked, not knowing what she did wrong. Nor did Hans bother to elaborate.
“Need help?” Hans inquired towards Kaylie, who seemed to have issues of sorts.

Kaylie raised an eyebrow at Mary’s comment, though understood it wasn’t intended as an insult. When Hans, however, asked if she needed help, Kaylie nodded. “Yeah. Val’s probably going to be upset with me, I tripped the breaker while trying to reheat some food,” Kaylie admitted. “Normally, I wouldn’t bother Val at this time of the night, but… I know Takaraya and Kasiya had the temperature in the RV set a bit hot, and with the power out, I don’t know how long it takes for the RV to cool down.”

“Oh right. Tall lad is at the tall end of the trailer, right here.” Mary noted, walking Hans and Kaylie over to the tail end of the orange ‘RV’ trailer.
She then, rather delicately so, knocked on one of the polycarbonate windows behind which Val was sleeping. Not much could be seen through them despite not being tinted due to the general darkness around the area, only dimly lit by diffuse lighting from the lights strewn across camp.
Unsurprisingly, this did little in getting Valentin out of his comfortably heated bed that he actually fits into.
A couple subsequent attempts at this also failed.

“Uhm… Is he dead?” Hans inquires, somewhat jokingly.
“I hope not…” Mary replies, already worrying HARD about her crush.

Kaylie looked over at the two of them having knocked very lightly on one of the windows. She pulled the glove off of her right hand, then knocked on the door to Val’s bunk, being very careful not to damage the trailer or scratch the paint.

Kaylie’s attempt pretty much copied that of Mary earlier and thus has equally little effect on Valentin within.
Eventually, Mary lost it and ‘broke in’ via simply heading around the end of the trailer and opening the hatch that led into Valentin’s comparment.
Immediately, they were met with a small, but noticeable wave of warmth which exchanged itself with the cold outside.

Still being near-enough blind to what was inside, Mary had a ‘stroke of genius’ and pointed a gigh-power flashlight into the compartment, which immediately filled the entire thing with more than just daylight.

Nothing exceptional can be seen in there. On the far wall from the door, a thick oversize mattress was placed atop which Valentin was sleeping, still unaware of anything happening surrounding the trailer. He was engulfed in an equally oversized blanket, forming a cocoon of lanky human, feet facing the door. Looking around the corner, a couple suitcases were visible, one of which was open and revealed a slew of neatly-packed, formal-looking clothing within.

“He’s evidently not dead.” Mary mocked, pointing deep into the trailer to Val, still breathing.
“No shit sherlock. How are we to get him awake now?” Hans grumbled back at her, also peeking inside.

When Mary flooded Val’s compartment with a bright flashlight, Kaylie gave a wince and a half-muffled growl. “Twin Suns!” she spat, shaking her head. “Can’t see shit now.” She looked in the vague direction of Mary, then said, “Please, warn someone next time when you’re going to pull the fucking sun out of your pocket and aim it where others might be looking. Finding my way back to the RV is going to be fun later.”

Upon hearing Kaylie go de-facto blind due to Mary’s flashlight, she instinctively turned it back off again, before pointing it to the ground in search for a lower-power setting.

“Stupid overcomplicated fuckface shit…” she grumbles with relatively little regard for being quiet, though remains at reasonable volumes.
Hans eventually did the same in an attempt to help, locating an ‘eco’ mode earlier than Mary.
The now substantially less blinding light was pointed back into the trailer.

“I have an idea…” Mary said looking around the place for anything pole-like. She did locate a steel bar, originally meant as part of the coupling mechanism for the two trailers once they are on rails. With it, she literally poked at Valentin in an attempt to wake him up.

“We did establish that he is not dead, right?” Hans noted, seriously questioning Mary at this point.
“You have any better ideas?” Mary remarked, continuing the prodding for a while, without success.

Kaylie sighed. “We’ve dealt with this once before. Val sleeps like a rock. He slept through a steam whistle once, after all,” Kaylie said. She paced quietly, trying to think of a solution to this particular problem.

Potentially Sensitive Content - Unintentional SFW Intimacy

Mary and Hans were just staring into the trailer, at a loss for ideas to get Valentin going.
Eventually, the were both startled by Valentin rolling over to the other side, thus now facing them, but still feet first.

A moment of thinking later, Mary grabs the initiative again, crawling inside.
“What are you doing now?” Hans asked, wanting to know what she was up to.
“Saw a prank video where someone got woken up with a nose held-shut. Might as well try.” she replies, carefully making her way to the other end.
“You sure he isn’t gonna just sleep through it and asphyxiate?” Hans said, having seen what Valentin was casually sleeping through already.

Mary just went ahead with her seemingly foolhardy plan, holding Valentin’s nose shut.
For more than a minute, exactly nothing happens, sparking some worry in both soldiers, until their plan proved successful, as Valentin instinctively ‘smacked’ her away, rolled over to his back again and took the mother of all breath to compensate.

“It worked!”, Mary called out cheerfully, practically staring at an incredibly confused Valentin while also perched lengthways across both of his suitcases. Realizing that waking up to a random female person next to you might come across as intrusive, Mary quickly made her way out of the trailer again.

Kaylie watched as Mary managed to wake up Valentin with a clever nose-pinch, then shook her head. “That’s certainly a new one,” she said. She waited until Valentin finished waking up, knowing it was pointless to do much until he’d fully woken up.

A few moment passed in which Valentin took a few more deep breaths, followed by him noticing that he is really cold for some reason.
A peek down to the other end revealed why, thus almost entirely skipping what would be an extensive delay in him waking up.
An act of commendable contortion followed as Valentin turned around within his little cabin and, somewhat violently, slammed his door shut again.

“Someone’s pissed…” Hans noted, befuddled by what just happened.
“Awww…” Mary followed.

From within, aggressive movement can be heard as Valentin hurried to change from just a set of black sweatpants to something even remotely fit for the frigid temperatures of nighttime Nehmenweld.
“I don’t think you’re getting power back anytime soon…” Hans told Kaylie, not knowing that Valentin frequently bends over backwards to not cause disdain amongst his peers.

Kaylie shrugged. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time things have gone wrong on one of these events,” she said, in response to Hans. “I mean, worst case scenario, I switch the plugs between the Carry All and the Home Unit. After all, while Kasiya and Takaraya are generally easy-going, I know I’d never hear the end of it for tripping the breaker and leaving their sleeping space to get cold.”

“Might want to get going, then…” Hans commented, not confident that Valentin would come back out of his little hiding spot.
As if on cue, Valentin opened the hatch again:
“Need somethin… …?..” Valentin inquired, still groggy, but surprisingly coherent considering how long he has been awake for.
Mary and Hans then basically hid themselves behind Kaylie to avoid being seen as the reason why Valentin was forced out of bed.

Kaylie grimaced, then admitted, “Yeah, sorry to have to wake you up, Val. I tripped the breaker trying to make a midnight snack. Let’s just say that the microwave is getting a note stuck on it to make sure the climate control system is off before using the microwave.”

Valentin took a moment to process the request, then made his way out of the trailer with an amount of gracefulness never seen before.
“Second trip, by the way…” he grumbled, before closing up the door to his compartment and making his way over to Robert.
Within, he referenced a little cheat-sheet that had been taped to the lid of the breaker panel box and then re-enabled mains power to the HD-GV Home Unit.
With a hearty ‘thud’, the door slammed shut again, followed by Valentin locking it.
“Anything else?” he inquired, still obviously not 100% awake.

“Yeah, we’ll try to avoid doing that again, but obviously, can’t make any guarantees. We can only try to prevent it,” Kaylie admitted.

When Valentin asked if Kaylie needed anything else, Kaylie shook her head before answering, “No, not really. I’ll go reheat some food, then get the heat turned back on over there.”

“I’ll try and get back to bed, then…” Valentin grumbled, dragging himself back to the trailer, disappearing within soon afterwards. Likewise, the two recruits returned to doing their laps around camp.

Kaylie returned to the Home Unit, making sure to pause the climate control before reheating her snack, then turning it back on once her chicken was warmed back up. After a quick meal, she put a note on the door of the microwave reminding people to turn off the climate control unit before using the microwave. With her snack finished, a note put up on the door, and the Home Unit returning to the intended temperature, Kaylie returned to her tent and crawled back under the covers with Jayde.

to be continued

[Madrias]

Meanwhile… Back in Nevada

April 1st, 2023, Shitbox Rally Starting Location, 12:00 PM

---

Old, worn out white-walled crossply tires crunched down the gravel road, the staccato growl of a misfiring inline 5 burbling through one of the two exhaust tips as a multicolored limousine arrived in camp.

“GPS says this is the place, but it’s like a fucking ghost town,” the driver said, looking around at the grills, portable toilets, tables, and other debris caused by the many crews who had camped ther overnight.

“Cody, you still got that email?” the front seat passenger asked.

Cody, the driver, handed over the print-out of the email. “There you go, Jake.”

Jake read over it, then groaned. “Fuck!”

“What’s wrong?” three voices from the back said, almost in unison.

“This doofus can’t read is what’s wrong,” Jake said. “Cody, we were supposed to be here at 12:00 PM yesterday, you plank! We missed tech inspection, first camp, the driver’s meeting, and their departure window.”

“Wait, that means I loaded the old Party Cannon for nothing?”

“Yes, Trevor.”

“Well, if we’re not going to get to race,” Trevor quipped, “might as well have some fun.”

“Trevor, don’t!” Cody yelled, moments before a quiet hiss, followed by a muffled explosion, rang out through the car.

The interior, already previously shitty to start with, was now covered in glitter, confetti, streamers, and enough powdered sugar to feed an army of ants.

“Oh, you jackass!” one of the back-seat passengers, a female, yelled.

“I don’t need to look like an extra from Twilight, you prick,” the other passenger, a male, also added with a yell.

“Brenda, Roger, settle down, this isn’t the worst that’s happened to this car,” Trevor said.

“No, but it is the worst our big brother has done to one while we’re in it.” Brenda snapped.

“I’d disagree. Worst was when he got drunk and sharted himself in the back of dad’s old truck,” Roger replied.

Cody sighed and wiped off his phone, then looked for an alternative event. “Hmm… If we can get this piece of shit to Sweden… There’s the 24 Hours of Clunkers there. We’d just have to strip the interior down and buy some racing helmets.”

“Yeah, just don’t be fucking late to that one, too,” Jake grumbled. “Seriously, the hosts were promising an otherworldly trip and you can’t read the email enough to get us here on the right day?”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I won’t be late on that one, you rat prick,” Cody grumbled.

“And you can promise that how?” Jake shot back.

“Because fuck you, that’s how. Seriously, it’s in October. Usually early October. So we get this piece of shit shipped over there, get plane tickets, and then bash the limo.”

“I really want to drift this thing into someone’s car,” Brenda said with a grin.

“Well, you are the current demolition derby champion for a reason,” Trevor replied.

“Just try not to fuck it up before I get a chance to drive it,” Roger grumbled. “Seriously, the last 4 events, I’ve gotten to drive the car down pit lane, onto the track for one lap, and something breaks. I want first drive.”

“Fuck no! You drive like a monkey with a banana up its ass! The reason you can’t make a lap is you rev the flying tits off the engine, melt the brakes trying to do that two-foot-braking shit they do in the movies, and then end up off the track with a blown up motor and fried brakes,” Trevor shot back.

Cody cranked over the AMCW “linear 5” engine that’d been stuffed into their Bricksley Regent limousine, a process that took an agonizing 3 minutes before it finally coughed to life. “Wonder what would happen if we just absolutely sent it into that shed over there?” he asked.

“We all go to jail,” Jake replied.

“Is there, like, a bit of blue light under that door?” Trevor asked.

“Looks like it, but, even if that is what I think it is, it’d be fucking rude to throw the doors open and send it. We missed tech, we missed the drivers’ meeting. Even if we could technically catch up to their convoy, we’re not supposed to. Better luck next time,” Jake said.

“And what’s your thought on what’s under that door?” Cody asked.

Jake smirked. “It’s a doorway to another world. That’s a portal.”

After a quick use of the portable toilets, the crew left the camp as quickly as they had arrived, their sluggish limousine kicking up dust and gravel as Cody wheeled it around and headed back toward the highway, the AMCW I5 and the Bricksley 3-speed slush-o-matic somehow not fighting for once.

Additional Pictures

---

The Highway Hooligans will return…

[Elizipeazie]

Stage 1:

Shiverwind Point to Silvercreek City

Temperature at mid-day: -4°C

Night-time Low: -9°C

Weather Conditions: Strong, but consistent winds make it feel like -17°C for most of the stage. Together with snowfall varying from moderate to ‘almost blizzard’, visibility is reduced. The evening and night are calm in comparison, with winds decreasing and precipitation ceasing entirely.

Camp Challenge: “Service History” (Reliability, two winners: Highest and Lowest.)

---

When the morning finally arrived, we set out on the road toward Silvercreek City, engines straining to life, some people having to get jump-starts, others having to reconnect batteries they’d yanked the night before and stuffed into their tents with them to keep them warm, and a few lucky people who had engines that fired up without a fight.

With swirling, blowing snow around us, and semi-treacherous road conditions, we all got a good laugh at the 55 MPH / 90 km/h signs on the mountain pass. Another sign named it as Radigan Ridge, and those who were driving slow enough, or had a passenger armed with a camera and a fast finger, were able to read the following:

“This mountain pass was named for the first explorer to cross it, known only as Radigan. His journey took him 10 days on foot, from the watchtowers at Shiverwind Point, to his arrival in the small village of Silvercreek. When we built this road through the mountains, connecting Shiverwind Point to Silvercreek with a paved road instead of a dirt pass, we named it in Radigan’s honor, for being the first person brave enough to prove it could be done.”

Like most mountain roads, in better conditions it would be a hell of a lot of fun with winding switchbacks, elevation changes, and a lot of sweeping curves. Those driving sporty cars might still find themselves unintentionally having fun, while those driving ill-handling cars are just hanging on for dear life while driving on two lanes of terror. Luckily, most of the road seems to have been plowed, and some attempts were made to throw some traction aids down in the form of crushed gravel and sand, providing something for our tires to grab onto besides just snow.

At the peak, we’re treated to a grand view from well-above the evergreen forest, well above the tree-line, looking in our direction of travel: North.

As we head back down the mountain, again, it’s worth mentioning that the roads would be great for sporty vehicles in better conditions. One long stretch of gently winding curves just further proves it, and thanks to being on the sheltered side of the mountain, blocking the wind, it’s clear enough that some teams take the chance and push it.

Finally, we arrive in Silvercreek City, which has clearly grown from the “small village” it once was, into a thriving city with 150,000 people carving out an existence in the brutal, bitter cold. It becomes abundantly clear that there’s three main industries out here: Greenhouse farming, ice-fishing, and silver mining.

We’re offered shelter in the Mountain View Lodges, a series of small, well-built log cabins with wood-burning stoves for both cooking and for heat. The cabins are set up in two rings around the main road, leaving a clearing in the center large enough for several cars and tents, should people choose to not rent a cabin and park next to it. This is where we set up the lights to provide some measure of safety in camp, as well as making the shared bathroom easy to see. Luckily, while it looks like an overgrown outhouse, it’s heated with city-supplied hot-water radiators, and has functional plumbing and toilets.

Next Stage Expected Conditions:
Road Speed: moderate
Road Condition: good
Traffic: moderate
Police: high

---

Reminder:

The deadline for top-gear/support mode changes and adjustments to Aggression is: Monday, April 17, 2023 at 9 PM GMT. We will try to make an announcement before that time.

Note:

A refueling stop always takes 10 minutes.
Being Warned by Police takes 15 minutes.
Being Ticketed by Police takes 30 minutes.
Being Jailed by Police takes 12 hours.

Stage challenges are concluded without considering both host teams, as they are not ‘competitors’ in the traditional sense.

---

@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Finish Position: 21st

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 2 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:49:12

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-23

HD-GV Home-Unit:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:49:12

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

HD-GV Carry-All:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:49:12

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:43:56

It’s a slow and steady drive for the Shift Happens crew, with Kasiya and Takaraya taking their time on the road, making sure they didn’t lose control on the twisting mountain roads. Kasiya was very glad to have the automatic transmission as the constant twists and turns meant a lot of braking, accelerating, and a fair bit of turning. Takaraya was less bothered by it, guiding the Home Unit through the same turns and just staying out of the way of the faster teams.

---

@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Finish Position: 32

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 1 / 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-54

VS 221S “Robert”:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

VS 221S “Regina”:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:18:38

After a brief delay caused by getting his certifications done, Valentin rejoined his crew. Constantin and his Speshul Forces quickly got the wheels switched out, the train coupled together, and all crew members onboard. With a blast of the whistle, Val set out on the long journey by rail, getting to better appreciate the snowy scenery as the only things he had to keep watch for were signals.

---

@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

Finish Position: 39 / 45

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top-Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 15:03:42.86

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 10-14

Walkenhorst UtilXL FireRescue:

Travel Time (Earth): 10:48:22.04

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Powertrain

Time lost to breakdown: 03:11:31

Stopped by Police: N/A

Sakura Citrine LWB:

Travel Time (Earth): 15:03:42.86

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Tires

Time lost to breakdown: 07:26:51

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 23:58:27

Today was not a fun day for either half of Team M.A.D. The Walkenhorst started running rough after the refueling stop, sputtering, coughing, and knocking. A bit over 3 hours later, a flushed fuel system, and new fuel later, you’ve solved the problem: It was a bad batch of fuel all along. Luckily, the other tweaks made along the way will hopefully make it more obvious in the future. However, things weren’t going so well for the crew in the Sakura. By the time they rolled into camp, the tires looked like they would have fit right in on a cartoon clown car, wearing a few dozen tire patches each. Thankfully, the crew from the Sinesian Rejects were there to help out.

---

@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

Finish Position: 44 / 4

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 14:53:42.86

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 10.05

Ilaris Imbe Sport S 1.3:

Travel Time (Earth): 14:53:42.86

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 7:26:51

Stopped by Police: N/A

Ilaris Itan Base:

Travel Time (Earth): 04:18:32.31

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 23:48:27

With a healthy respect for how fragile their car was, the crew in the Imbe took things a bit easier. This worked in their favor as they were able to shadow the Sakura of Team M.A.D. Every time they blew a tire, the Imbe stopped to render assistance. In the Itan Ute, however, Ianis absolutely went flat out, engine screaming for mercy through every straightaway, tires shrieking as they were pushed to the limits of their grip. Sirens blared in the distance, fading into obscurity as it became clear that their cars could not match the Itan for top speed.

---

@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

Finish Position: 14

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-12

Schnell L30 1.9 SE Executive:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:31:35

Surprisingly, the choice of a luxury car, once again, pays off, as it’s a comfortable ride around the mountain roads at a reasonable pace. Other than stopping to put gas in the tank and praying that you didn’t get a bad mix like other teams had, things went smoothly.

---

@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

Finish Position: 24 / 24

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression:

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-32

Ivera Executive LXT:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Mayland Ambassador:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:53:56

Smooth sailing for the two crews here, as the only delays were caused by a couple quick pit-stops for gas. Landon and Karl spend most of their time talking to each other on the radio.

---

@Doot

The Knockouts

Finish Position: 1 / 38

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 6/1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 09:18:46.32

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 6-23

1325 Facelift:

Travel Time (Earth): 03:22:32.63

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Papillona 606 S:

Travel Time (Earth): 09:18:46.32

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 00:54:53

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 18:13:30

The first team to taste a bittersweet victory. One car absolutely flying to a victory, the other on a joyful Sunday drive. Sure, Kate managed to arrive on site first, but it’s Octavia’s time that counts for the team. Plus, it’s a long while to wait in camp before power and lighting arrives. Octavia, on the other hand, had a lovely, pleasant drive, complete with stopping for fuel and seeing what it was like to visit the gas station’s convenience store. Nearly an hour of chatting later, Octavia returns to her car with snacks in hand and makes the rest of the trip.

---

@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Finish Position: 32 / 32

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 1 / 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-54

Saguaro T-REE 2000 Wagon:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Kontir Cunningham 1.9:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:18:38

Slow and steady may not win races, but it does keep all the cargo inside the truck bed and camper shell, and it keeps the police from being interested in your cars.

---

@Jaimz68

Team HETS

Finish Position: 14

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3/3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): N/A

Franklin HiWay Rally:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

FM VanGo:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:31:35

A somewhat brisk Sunday drive for the two older ladies and their younger family members leads them smoothly into the next camping area. Other than needing gas a couple of times, and Mopey getting hit for swearing, things were smooth.

---

@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

Finish Position: 31

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:13:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-45

Priscilla II:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:13:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:08:38

Driving slow means you fly under the radar, even in the most eye-catching vehicle possible. With a huge fuel capacity, Priscilla II cruises past the gas stations with ease, and with no breakdowns on the way, it’s a smooth cruise.

---

@Edsel

Team Friendship!

Finish Position: 24

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-32

Bazard E-Series:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:53:56

Other than a quick pit-stop for fuel, nothing particularly exciting happens here for Team Friendship.

---

@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Finish Position: 50 / 50

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 2 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 24:54:01.94

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 16-66

IP Rugger 4x4:

Travel Time (Earth): 24:54:01.94

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Helping

Time lost to breakdown: 16:19:21

Stopped by Police: N/A

Sanju MDM44 “Wolverine”:

Travel Time (Earth): 24:54:01.94

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 16:19:21

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 33:48:46

It turns out that Marie as a learner driver may not have been the greatest of ideas. Between weaving all over her lane, nearly rear-ending a police car, and very nearly rolling back into the police car as the officer tried to give her a warning for her driving, mistaking the parking brake knob for the glove box door release, and then stopping at the side of the road for a long while because after getting pulled over, Marie had a couple beers for stress relief. Frustrated, the remaining three sober crew members made her sit in the back of the camper with Mr. Spikey until she sobered up. 16 hours, a hidden stash of beer, and one sober Marie later, the crew crawls into camp, tired, annoyed, and with the rattling of empty cans reminding them that, where there’s a beer, Marie will try to drink it.

---

@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

Finish Position: 46 / 46

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 5 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 15:38:24.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 10-45

KKR S2:

Travel Time (Earth): 15:38:24.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 8:25:18

Stopped by Police: Ticket

Roadmaster Voyage:

Travel Time (Earth): 15:38:24.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 07:49:12

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 24:33:08

Turns out, even in another world, sporty vehicles attract attention. Sporty vehicles breaking the speed limit? Well… They get tickets. Getting going again was made even more fun when it was realized that someone pulled the minivan over into the soft shoulder and parked it in a snowdrift, meaning the KKR S2 had to pull it out. This was a mighty struggle for 36 minutes, trying to drag a heavy minivan out with a sports car, made way worse by having to tow the minivan in “limp home” mode for the better part of 8 hours, courtesy of it being limited to 25 MPH. In camp, you find the culprit: one single unplugged sensor, probably jostled loose when the mid-engined-rocketship lunged forward the third, fifth, or 18th time trying to get a stuck van moving.

---

@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Finish Position: 19 / 19

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:41:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-16

Aether 52 H:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:41:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Aether 11/2:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:41:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:36:35

Other than a polite warning to “watch your speed” in the van, things were fairly normal for the pair of 30’s-era cars cruising on the roads today.

---

@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Finish Position: 23

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:51:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-25

Mara Irena 2.0 UR:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:51:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:46:35

A polite reminder from the police about not going so fast later, and the two concealed aliens make it into camp with their trusty Mara.

---

@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

Finish Position: 2

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 03:40:52.26

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 2-39

Ursula F5 400I cross 4x4:

Travel Time (Earth): 03:40:52.26

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 12:35:36

It’s amazing what a crossover can do when you outright floor it in snowy conditions. All four wheels dig in and hold onto the road, hurtling the team to a satisfying second place.

---

@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Finish Position: 8 / 13

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:18:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-75

Reekayns B210:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:58:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Mocabey Pioneer XL:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:18:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Ticket

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:12:44

There’s a lesson here, Spy Kids: Don’t speed so much. A nice ticket from a rather friendly officer emphasizes that point today. It’s a small fine, easily paid, but it still stings to be sitting there on the side of the road, watching cars go by while the officer takes his time filling in all the details.

---

@IDK158

Team J3

Finish Position: 41 / 41

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 11:59:25.71

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 8-08

Tiharris Summer V6 J3:

Travel Time (Earth): 11:59:25.71

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: Powertrain

Time lost to breakdown: 04:51:26

Stopped by Police: N/A

Rhien Willow SR50 Turbo J3:

Travel Time (Earth): 11:59:25.71

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 03:54:36

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 20:54:10

When the Tiharris started misfiring, team J3 was certain they knew what was wrong, courtesy of it being all over the radio earlier that some of the stations had a bad mix of fuel. Unfortunately, a 20 minute fix became a nearly-five-hour nightmare when they discovered that draining the tank was going to be difficult. Thankfully, it was only about a two-hour detour - each way - to get gas from a known-good station… The next time they had to refuel the Tiharris, well… They paid a little extra for the good stuff.

---

@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Finish Position: 29 / 29

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:06:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-39

Juggernaut 862 Custom Aeromad:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:06:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Torrento Providence II Aeromad:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:06:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 4

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:01:35

Airplane engines sound glorious echoing off of mountain walls. Thankfully, the mid-Rift retune also means your vehicles have no issues running off of the local fermented piss they’re calling “Motor Spirits” around here. It’s thankful, because the muscle car can outrun everything… Except for a gas station. At least there’s plenty of those.

---

@Tzuyu_main & @Falling_Comet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Finish Position: 5 / 5 (Winner of Camp Challenge with highest (92.8) Reliability)

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 5 / 5

Team Travel Time (Earth): 06:25:55.39

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-28

Seikatsu Diesel Galactic:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:25:55.39

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Dauer 836RS Darien:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:25:55.39

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 15:20:39

The cops really seemed to like this team today. Thankfully, you got lucky enough to get warnings for both drivers about your “excessive speed,” at least this time. Still made good time despite the cop stops, and both vehicles are still running.

---

@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

Finish Position: 10 / 10

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-70

Warren Warlock FH:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Bowie Bearcat:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:07:44

Turns out that getting warnings for your speed is common around here. Even if you’re police from somewhere else.

---

@Xepy

Team “486”

Finish Position: 48 / 48

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 6 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 19:41:18.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 13-24

Kaufmann Viera Custom:

Travel Time (Earth): 19:41:18.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 04:14:31

Stopped by Police: Jailed

Kaufmann Kleinbus Custom:

Travel Time (Earth): 19:41:18.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 02:28:32

Stopped by Police: Jailed

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 28:36:03

Surprise, the cops around here aren’t playing around. Things were going great until the steering rack on the Kleinbus got jammed, forcing the team to pull over with cops in hot pursuit. After stuffing everyone into the Viera, hooking the Kleinbus up with tow chains, and attempting to run, Team 486’s luck ran out. Surrounded by police cars, several officers with their weapons drawn, and one officer demonstrating what “K-9 Unit” meant here in Nehmenweld by unloading a trained Dyre on a chain leash from the back of his patrol vehicle, the team surrendered peacefully. The handcuffs were put on, the vehicles were towed to the impound lot, and the whole crew ended up with a holding cell to themselves. 12 hours later, Jayde showed up and slid a few officers a few curious gold coins, motioning to the team in the cell. With your release paid for, and your cars rescued from the impound lot, repairing the jammed steering rack and putting all the cargo back where it belonged didn’t take that long. At least, comparatively speaking. Rolling into camp at 4-and-24 Moon, exhausted and worn out, was not fun.

---

@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

Finish Position: 40 / 10

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 11:03:22.04

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 7-38

Baumhauer 423 Vier Group A:

Travel Time (Earth): 11:03:22.04

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 03:11:31

Stopped by Police: Warning

Hinode Rusa Ambulance:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 19:58:06

Bad wheel bearings are a real bitch. Getting pulled over for speeding and having the bad wheel bearing seize up, well… The Baumhauer experienced that problem. Three frantic hours of roadside maintenance in the cold later, and the crew returned to the road. Way up ahead of them, the ambulance got pulled over for speeding - Apparently, this looks nothing like their ambulances, but the cops did write some information down to pass on to the emergency medical technicians about “a vehicle big enough to do mobile surgery in.”

---

@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

Finish Position: 9 / 3 (Winner of Camp Challenge with lowest (58.5) Reliability)

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:08:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-66

Mercedes Blue Wonder Alessio:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:08:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Faenza Spirito SP-C:

Travel Time (Earth): 04:01:31.84

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:02:44

The speed with which the Faenza sprints through this stage is no laughing matter, even if Giacomo is laughing about it ending up on the podium. The Blue Wonder, likewise, dashes through the mountain roads, attracting stares as it goes.

---

@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

Finish Position: 14 / 14

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-12

VHT Supermobile (Sand Hopper):

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Contra UTE:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:31:35

It’s a smooth and fast run for the Cunning Stunts crew. No breakdowns, no police stops, just a quick pit-stop to gas up the ute before a fast cruise to the finish.

---

@EnCR

Team Till D End

Finish Position: 32 / 32

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-54

JMX Linx Turbo Injection:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Avantii Trailduster Camper:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:18:38

Going slow-and-smooth with the camper seems to have done the trick. Sure, the Linx might be faster, but no one wants to clean up the mess if someone tips all the dishes out in the camper.

---

@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Finish Position: 27 / 27

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:01:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-34

Basedworks RV:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:01:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

MCMOTD:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:01:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:56:35

Being pulled over sucks. As your team collects their written warnings, the driver of the MCMOTD decided to fold theirs into a paper airplane and send it flying out over the peaceful mountainside.

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@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Finish Position: 43

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 14:01:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 9-38

Haapala Streetcruiser:

Travel Time (Earth): 14:01:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 06:48:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 22:55:44

As much as it was an annoyance being pulled over, the crew at least appreciated the opportunity to bail out some of the road slush and rocks that had been pelted into the car through its lack of front fenders. Turns out, there was a lot of that crap in the car, and it took a very long time to scoop all of it out by hand with hands that were quite cold from being in an open-cockpit car in the cold.

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@ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

Finish Position: 7

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 06:48:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-48

Centurion 9000:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:48:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 15:42:44

It’s amazing how fast a rig can go on roads like these. The air horns were blown at every team you passed with cops sitting behind them, and other than having to clean up some spilled dishes later on from some particularly “energetic” driving around the switchbacks, courtesy of clipping a curb with the trailer tires, things were fine.

[IDK158]

Damn british cars, can never just have a little breakdown lmao

[LS_Swapped_Rx-7]

sotweytmhsdmfuszth9watu95w3r9olkvwygeutkvwa4g89th8ajv0i9et435bt34634v63vcujtyuiksxerwf54e5uj5ft8 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand:

hahaha this fucking took long enough i am very motivated for this

TWO BEAUTIFUL
MURDER MACHINES

Even after being suddenly abandoned by Mr. Based at the warehouse, Pierce and Wakaba luckily knew a guy with a flatbed, and were able to safely return the clunkers to the garage to give them a truly based makeover.

Eventually, after countless days and nights, the two finished the work on their badass death machines with absolutely no compromises made.

---

Original Car: 1966 Bellomont Fort Lauderdale/SKULL HARVESTER
Engine: 10.3 Liter OHV V10
Output: 666 hp @ 5500 rpm, 750 ft lb @ 4200 rpm
Length/Height (excluding supplies): 5.76 m/2.01 m
0-60 MPH: 4 seconds
Top Speed: 173 MPH

The main speed machine of the pair supervised by Pierce. Initially, he was unsure how to make the SKULL HARVESTER even more over-the-top than it already was, but for a start, he was lucky enough to come across a gargantuan 10.3 liter V10 in the warehouse which was supposedly a glorified marine engine prototype Mercer engine concieved in the 90s, which he just knew was a perfect fit for this as soon as he saw the power output of it on the dyno was 666.

Just to make sure that it doesn’t get demolished on whatever the hell kind of terrain that Alien planet has, the suspension has been replaced with an entirely new air suspension system that was originally designed for prerunners, but the crazy bastard put it on a 60s land barge anyway. If the massive rear tires happen to kill the visibility for some reason, that’s no problem since the air suspension is also adjustable on the fly.

Fourtanetly, the experience had while driving it isn’t as hellish as it looks as it has also been equipped with a bluetooth controlled bangin’ sound system, including a subwoofer that can be taken out of the car.

And to enhance the already extreme styling, he called up his weird cousin Zach because he might just be the only guy able to make it look even more edgy than it already is. And the end result was possibly the edgiest thing on wheels Pierce has ever seen, which is an amazing thing because is one of the top rules of Basedworks that since incase something sucks too much, it must look absolutely badass while doing so.

Additionally, Zach will also be part of the team.

---

Original Car: 1950 Mercer COE
Engine: 8.4 Liter OHV V8
Output: 512 hp @ 5500 rpm, 577 ft lb @ 3200 rpm
Length/Height (excluding supplies): 8.3 m/3.65 m
0-60 MPH: 7.7 seconds*
Top Speed: 130 MPH**

*not in 6wd
**not recommended

It’s no longer a dream, it’s a reality. And it comes in the form of a 70+ year old truck converted into an RV by a Japanese man. What could possibly go wrong? To ensure that less does, it’s been given an engine that’s not as insane as the V10 but still wild 8.4 liter V8 pushing out over 500 horsepower to 6, count em’ six wheels.

And to ensure that it at least doesn’t get stuck because of unfamiliar terrain, it’s riding on the highest grade off-road tires that could be found, along with each axle being a portal axle for extra ground clearance.

On the inside of this absolute behemoth is a personal luxury palace with bed space for 4, a couch to watch whatever is stored on a 10TB hard drive to a TV, a full kitchen, and of course, plenty of storage space for repairs, all the guns our idiots could ever want, and the like.

---

Meanwhile, at the Basedworks test track...

Wakaba is testing the MALEVOLENT CORPSE MUTILATOR OF THE DAMNED to push it past it’s limits, with Pierce and Zach observing on the sidelines.

Pierce: Alright Wakaba, for this test, we placed a bunch of cardboard cutouts of aliens along the track. We need you to go on a rampage of vehicular manslaughter.

Big Block: Wait… are you serious? It isn’t very likely that we will even do this in reality, right?

Zach: You got absolutely nothing to worry about. I would be overjoyed to cover this thing in even more blood!

Big Block: That’s great… I guess? I’m just going to floor it now.

Wakaba sets off in the demonic hellspawn on wheels, with the obnoxious V10 engine letting off a sound that can be heard from miles away. However, Pierce was still able to hear a strange sound of a camera clicking not very far from him.

Pierce: Wait, what’s that? He checks the security camera feed on a nearby laptop. Oh shit! Looks like we got a guy spying on us! I just knew this was bound to happen. Zach, I don’t know exactly how, but the boss told me there’s something in that desk. Go grab it and take care of the intruder.

Zach: On it.

Little does Pierce know that there was actually a tranquilizer gun inside that desk. Zach thought it would be funnier if he doesn’t tell Pierce about it, so he quietly goes out the back door, and sneaks up behind the intruder. He then fires a dart directly into the intruder’s leg, knocking him out instantly.

Pierce: HOLY SHIT, ZACH! Did you just kill that man?

Zach: Relax! I just knocked him unconscious onto the dry pavement. Now come here and help me drag his body and tie him to a chair or something.

Pierce: (on the radio) Ugh, Wakaba, pull into the pits, we nearly killed someone, and now we have to take care of him.

Big Block: Aww, come on! I have so much more aliens left to slaughter!

After a short while, the intruder wakes up.

???: Ugh, ooh… What happened? Where am I?

Zach: (slaps him) Listen motherfucker! I know about way too many bad cases of top secret shit being leaked, so I am not going to let that happen to us. I don’t care whatever kind of bullshit you work for, no one leaks from us that easily.

???: gasp Are you the legendary Big Block Wakaba???

Big Block: Hey! Someone actually remembers me!

???: Of course I do! Have you watched my video essay about you? It would be such an honor if you did!

Big Block: No! What the hell even is a video essay? You guys should know more than me about that. Do you?

Pierce and Zach shake their head.

Pierce Who even are you? Why did you even consider risking your life by coming here?

???: Well, my name is Nathaniel Binklebottoms Spontaneous Crakalakasnappa James Jr.; I’m the guy behind the channel TurboSpool!

Pierce: D-do you seriously tell everyone that’s your name and expect them to memorize it? Screw that, we’re just going to call you Nate.

Zach: And I just looked up your pathetic excuse for a channel; it has a measly 7k subscribers. Of course we don’t fucking know about it, dude. By the way Nate, do you perhaps have any friends or family that might look for you?

Nate: No… I-

Zach: Great! That’s not a surprise at all because of that goofy name your parents gave you. You will be the perfect guy to come along with us on our adventure.

Pierce: But don’t you think people will get worried about his channel being inactive for a long time?

Zach: Of course not! There are plenty of channels that have been inactive for years. He will just become another statistic. Not like he has that much a worrying audience anyway.

Big Block: I’m sure you can film plenty of content for those video essay things too! We’re just going through some rift that goes to some different planet or whatever. No pressure.

Nate: Wait really? I’m totally down for that; making a video on that will definitely make me go viral for sure!

Zach: I’m sure it will, buddy. Alright, pack your bags. We’re gonna go on one hell of a ride, whether you like it or not. You got yourself into this mess, after all.

---

actual full character bios coming eventually