|Side Quest| How (S)Low can you go? [AUTOBEAM]

How (S)Low can you go?
How (S)Low can you go?


It's April 1st. So it's time for something stupid. Really stupid. Low effort too.
I won't even bother with a story, as this is legit too stupid to get one. But I will bother with a quick explanation. You know how our usual Autobeam challenge is about who can go the fastest, and who can build the best looking car? Well, for this challenge it's reversed!

But, there is a twist. You can't just build a car that can't move. There will be some speed requirements, so it will be a balancing act. The same thing goes for styling. The worse the car looks, the better. But, if its realistic, you'll get more points, and detail will too. So basically you can't build a 4hp lawnmower with 19 pop-up headlights and expect to get a high score.

So, there is some strategy. Which you choose, is your choice.

Anyways, it's time for the rules. Do i have to really explain more?

RULE 1: Before the car name, there must be the word SLO.
(SLO - Ford - Mustang for example, or any way you would like to do it. Just put SLO in front! I'll do it if you don't.)

RULE 2: The year of all sections of the car must be 2000.

RULE 3: The Techpool must be at the standard (+5 everywhere).

RULE 4: The quality of parts must be 0 or higher everywhere.

RULE 5: The car must be able to do at least 100kmh / 62mph in Automation.

RULE 6: The car must be able to accelerate to 100kmh / 62mph in under 60 seconds in Automation.

RULE 7: The car must be able to finish the tracks. If it can not, it is disqualified.

2 cars per person allowed!


As said in the intro, the worse styling, the better! But, try to keep it realistic. A few real examples will be at the bottom of the post.

When designing the car, it is heavily recommended to use at least the bare necessary, such as headlights, taillights, etc.
It's really up to you though, and creativity is recommended just as much.

The tracks we will be going on are Hirochi Short and The Big 8.
The Big 8 has some really big hills, so make sure to make a car which can at least slightly move.


The deadline for this challenge is the 9th of April (whatever time for you). This has been extended to the 11th.

The first video should come out the weekend after that, but that is not a guarantee.

You can send your car(s) in in any way, but of course discord and the forums are both the main ones.
The discord link is lower in the post if you would like that.

You can watch the videos on my channel, Djadania.
I'll try to give some commentary on the cars. Advice is a maybe due to the garbage i will be driving.

If you want to join the discord, here is the link.

Thank you for reading, and i will be eagerly (and fearfully) waiting on your entries!
-Team L.O.O.G.I (Loosely Organized, Overblown and Generally Insane)

Examples because i don’t feel like putting them in the HTML lol

Dongfeng EQ7240BP (The ugliest car i have ever seen, look at more pictures or read the article on Chinacarhistory)

Toyota Pod (The thing from GT3)

Pontiac Aztek (Waltuh)

VW Polo Colani (Looks edible)

Rinspeed X-Trem (Some bizarre banana with a boat in the back)

Porsche C88 (Yes, this is a real Porsche)


Consider me interested. I’ll start designing soon. Got a few ugly ideas in mind, after all, and building slow could be… Interesting.


This does sound fun so I’ll certainly give it a look, however isn’t every car just going to be going 100km/h?


Not entirely. In testing i built a car which could do 240, but was just as slow if not slower than the other test cars.

1 Like

What would you guys think of entering a car made by ChatGPT and entering it under its name?


Amazing, I would say this, give ChatGPT all the available parts it can select under one tab and tell it to pick the best one for said task


Yes, i was thinking of doing it exactly in that way. It did say something about “its not a good idea to do this in real life”, but i just told it that its for a videogame. It likes to do things related to games.
Update: I think that’s counterintuitive.

Argh. I made it to power steering.


Uhm. The Ai’s car managed to set a 10 second time. I need to fix it though, i’ll ask it for a better engine. That 12 horsepower I4 wont get it very far.

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I’m being very evil with my car. It’s got a lovely turbo-boxer-4 mid-mounted, and a nice 5 speed manual coupled to the rear wheels. If you’re trying to figure out how it’s slow, well… You’ll see…

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Want a mid-engine car, but insurance premiums and a family make it seem like a pipe dream? Lusting for a car with a turbo, but just can’t seem to find one that also meets your other needs?

Well, AMCW has you covered with the Rukasir MR-4 Turbo. A meaty 4 cylinder boxer engine, mounted midship, with displacements ranging from 1132 to 2000 cc, fed air through a turbocharger, and attached to a 5 speed manual gearbox to drive the rear axle propels you and 3 other people forward in this punchy, unusual car.

Our special “Plum Crazy” paint goes well with AMCW’s trademark purple anodized aluminum accents.

Unlike some other vehicles which try limiting speed through deliberately giving you not-enough-engine to be safe on the road, we limit speed through gearing. This gives the car a much sportier feel in all driving conditions, bringing a whole new meaning to “Slow Car Fast.”

And, because the engine is mounted in the middle, not just do you get a trunk, but you also get a very usable frunk, too.


That’s a bold idea - a mid-engined four-door sedan that just happens to have a surprisingly punchy engine in higher-end trims.


Even in its base form here, it’s still surprisingly punchy. This car is gearing limited for top speed. Very quick to 62 MPH, but, well… Let’s just say no one’s making a time machine out of one of these, it’s just not going to be fast enough.


Since you did show concept cars as your inspiration, you’ll also get a concept car.
Say hello to the 2000 SANDFROG CONCEPT by LMJ DESIGN.


Is it made out of wood?


Coming Soon to a Dystopian Future Near You

Just as soon as we figure out how to shove all of this shit into a smaller space and get the computer system to stop crashing the cabs!

Meet the Future.

Here at Drone Cab Incorporated, we hope to make taking a taxi a much more pleasant and safer experience.

No more cab drivers who weave through traffic like maniacs. No more “scenic routes” to raise how much you have to pay at the end of the trip. No more thumping bass and swearing being loosely called “music.”

How have we solved all of that?

Our super-high-tech computing system built on a totally-not-outdated Pentium II running MS-DOS will guide this machine to victory. Satellite navigation allows the autonomous Drone Cab to know precisely where it is, because it knows where it is not. Sensors tell it whether there’s an obstacle in its way, and determines the right course of action at all times. For music, you will be offered two choices: Calming Classical or Smooth Jazz, which will play as you are transported with haste to your destination.

How is it propelled? A hybrid power system uses a small lawnmower engine in times of emergency, such as when the batteries are low, while the primary motive power comes from the 70 horsepower electric motor. Or, at least, it will once we build the actual first Drone Cab.

See, this is just a prototype. They won’t look like a third-grader’s science project when they’re done. Because we’re constantly tuning the software (“Why does it keep driving into walls?”), working on the drive system (“Oh god, it killed the speed controller again!”), and testing alternative power solutions (“Why the fuck does California want it to be solar powered!?”), we built it with a modular chassis allowing us to experiment on the design.

The final product will look more like a conventional car. We Promise.

Remember, from Point A to Point B, nothing is faster than a Drone Cab.

“Okay, seriously, Jason, what the fuck is wrong with it this time?”

“I told you, Mike, the nav-software isn’t ready yet. The computer is too slow for all the data we’re feeding it, and if we feed it less data, it makes detours, drives into things, runs through stop signs and street lights, hell, we lost EX - 002 to a train because it didn’t know it had to stop for one.”

“Jason, the press demonstration is tomorrow. How are we supposed to show the reporters that our project works if the computer brain makes our customers look intelligent?”

“I have an idea, boss.”

“Let’s hear it, then, Tony.”

“Hire a driver. Run the press car with a remote control.”

“You’re a fucking genius. Jason, how long will it take to put this piece of junk under manual control?”

“A few hours, but… We burned out another speed controller, so we won’t have electric drive. We’ll be relying on the 15 horsepower turbocharged lawnmower engine and the automatic transmission.”

“So? We promised slow and safe. This sounds like “slow and safe” to me.”

“Also, people keep complaining that it looks ugly.”

“Tony, we’ve been over this. The goal is to figure out how to make this shit work, then shrink it down until we can shove it in the frunk of an AMCW Rukasir, rip the steering wheel and pedals out of it, and make a normal-looking 4 seat taxi cab.”

“So why are we messing with the hybrid drive unit?”

“Because fucking California. They’ll get crappy electric pods while the rest of the civilized world gets sensible, normal cars.”


“The future was then,
Our past has yet to come,
Now is the time,
Take heed young drivers.”


Eco Retro-Future Concept

Moar photos


I like how we already have 2 cars that have an intel pentium. Yes, 2. I feel like this is going to become a trend, so i’ll do it too.

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Ilaris Hybrid Technology Demonstrator
Guess what? It's 2000, and the world's going to like sink in 20 minutes if we don't do anything. Introducing the Hybrid Technology Demonstrator. It features glued aluminium everything (because muh lore) and aluminium panels and more aluminium to make it light or something. It gets a gazillion mpg from the awful inline-3 making 34 horsepower from a 0.5 liter displacement or something.

We also styled it by looking at a whale and trying to piece it back together after cutting it up in to 90 million pieces, resulting in a delightfully awful shape and styling. Did I mention that it’s rear-engined? Well, the electric motors are in the front, which means you’ll be front-wheel-drive most of the time. I will demonstrate with a burn-out, courtesy of the 100bhp electric motors, one for each front wheel.

…did someone forget to mount the battery pack


Oh well, let’s talk about reliability. The engine systems are redundant, thus the car can function without the electric motors, and the electric motors could have functioned without the engine if SOMEONE PUT THE BATTERY PACK WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO. Oh well, it’s driveable in this state and it goes to 60 in about 23 seconds.

Anyway go look at an actually interesting car that will be presented at this auto show instead of this thing which will be a footnote in history in about 9 minutes.


I wont lie, i dont actually hate the front. That’s the only thing i dont hate. Also, that interior is great.