2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!)

Team Shift Happens

Team Information

Previous Chapters:

Let’s Get This Party Started / First Arrivals - Starting Party 6 AM
Making Friends? - Starting Party 7 AM
A Moment in Time - Starting Party 7:30 AM
Another Team Arrives / War Songs in the Camp - Starting Party 8 AM
A Grand Reveal / An Army of Soda Cans - Starting Party 8:30 AM
Drivers’ Meeting - Starting Party 9 AM
A Request for Help - Starting Party 9:15 AM
A Helping Hand - Starting Party 9:30 AM
A Glimpse Into The Unknown - Starting Party Noon



Shitbox Rally Starting Party, 3 PM Local Time.

With 3 hours left before the opening of the portal, the air was almost supercharged with excitement. People had seen a glimpse, a flash, a hint of what they’d soon be facing. Speculation ran wild. How many days would it take? What was this other world like? How long would it take to get there?

Through it all, Rukari and Kivenaal sat there, shrugging off the questions being thrown their way. Jayde, likewise, stayed quiet, though did speak up with, “Please, do not disturb them. I do not know if the Valraadii are meditating to gather energy or if they are praying to their deities, but we do not need to invoke their wrath before this event.”

Kaylie grinned as she sat behind the radio panel in the Highwayman, dialed up the four preferred channels, one on each radio, twisted the knob to Broadcast for the microphone, and clicked the button. “Radio check!” She called out, hearing multiple radios ring out a split moment later.

Kayden was making one last batch of burgers on Earth, making sure anyone who wanted food had it. He wandered around to the rest of his team, handing everyone a burger. “Last of the burgers for Nevada,” he said, giving a light smile. He watched as Kivenaal and Rukari left their meditation long enough to wolf down their triple burgers, Malavera practically shoved the whole triple burger in one of his mouths in between keystrokes as he updated the media page one last time, Kaylie tore a hungry bite out of her double bacon burger, and Jayde tried a quadruple-stack burger for the first time.

Malavera smiled as he finished the last blog post before the Rally, letting people know that the silence was because, for better or for worse, they were going where the internet could not follow.



(OOC: This one’s short because there’s not much going on for my team leading up to 6 PM. Tomorrow (my Monday), I will be releasing the 6 PM update, as well as Stage 0 and the first Crugandr camp. Consider this as the last day to wrap up any first campsite chaos.)

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09 October, 2021 /// 10:15 AM MDT

Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, straddling the Rio Grande across which sat Ciudad Juárez, and tucked away in an arid, scorched alcove of desert pockmarked with dried flora the sun broke its cover and rose over distant mountains situated on the edge of an endless expanse of bleached sand and thorny shrubbery that crumbled at the touch. It was only a quarter past ten, but the blanket of heat was already thick, suffocating, and radiated from the cracked asphalt over which a quaternion of rubber halos rolled and bounced. The clatter of six air-cooled horizontally-opposed pistons only added to the mechanical din of the creaking suspension, rattling plastic and metal fasteners supporting various interior furnishings, and the rumbling tires hopping over roads that felt like they were last paved decades ago when they were first laid down. Despite having nearly every geographical odd stacked against it, it was as if this lonely settlement continued to exist purely out of spite.

Nearly thirty Californian summers did not treat the dark blue paint kindly. In addition to the scratches, dents and gallery of other scuffs that adorned the fenders, doors, and bumpers, the hood and roof were covered in splotches of sun-damaged fading paint, the erosion of pigments only accelerated by the even more unforgiving climate of the lone star state. The 1985 Dauer 632 S’s weary journey finally reached its conclusion in the mostly-empty parking lot of a commercial vehicle repair shop situated on the outskirts of El Paso, the hum of its all-aluminum boxer-6 engine quickly subsiding into the white noise of distant traffic and a stagnant wind of boiling heat that blew across acres of concrete and tar.

The driver’s door flung open with an agonizing creak, creating an opening from which the dry heat poured inwards and a pair of white sneakers emerged, touching on the ground. “Christ! Thirty degrees centigrade… Adelaide doesn’t get anywhere near this hot this time of the year,” Mel sighed as she slowly rose to full height, leaning back and stretching her sore back muscles. The seats wrapped in cracked brown-orange leather were heavily worn and had lost most of their bolstering, which only made the already-rough ride nearly unbearable. It seemed as if just about every single piece of the car was on its last legs. “I’ve arrived at the site."

“Die of heatstroke one day, then of frostbite the next. That’s Texas for you. Bet you’re really missing LA now,” cackled a male voice over the radio. It belonged to Alex, one of the members of Mel’s (at times such as this one, the only) operation and intelligence support group. “How’s the ride holding up?”

“Suspension bushings are starting to go, along with nearly every damn thing in this car. The motor’s been doing fine at least. Dauer boxer sixes really live up to their reputation,” Mel remarked as she closed the door behind her with a rattling thud and leaned against the front left fender, looking at the massive warehouse before her. It stretched from one end of the horizon to the other, dotted in regular intervals with rusty service doors that numbered one and nineteen more. Numerous trucks in various states of disrepair were lined along the entire width of the facility not dissimilar to an aircraft boneyard. “So how exactly did they plan to let me in? Grab the key under the doormat? Knock thrice and say please?”

“They should’ve left the first loading bay door unlocked. And don’t worry about setting off any alarms, they turned off the security system beforehand. I know it’s a little weird since they don’t have anyone onsite, since it’s… you know, a Saturday… but hey, that’s just one less thing in your way. You’ve read the brief, right?”

“Full sweep of the first and second floors, find whatever the hell is causing the ruckus.” Unholstering her Glock 17 Gen4, Mel pressed the release button and caught the magazine as it fell out, checking the cutout slot near the bottom that was obscured by a brass object. Seventeen rounds and counting, but hopefully they wouldn’t be the first she would have to discharge outside of a shooting range. “Something seems… off, though.”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“I find it odd that they were perfectly willing to let us snoop around inside without having one of their staff present to escort us. Especially in Texas of all places, yeah, nah… they don’t just call it ‘the Lone Star’ state for nothing.” Her footsteps echoed through the desolate valley of concrete and rotten pallets as she made her way towards the first door on the left. She scanned her surroundings one last time, only to find that her presence remained unacknowledged. Mel was no stranger to solitude, for she frequently found comfort in the outback and its separation from civilization. It was an escape, a form of meditation for her. This time around, however, she didn’t share the same sentiment.

“Maybe they’ve just got nothing to hide?” Alex let out a stiff sigh as the Mexican desert let out a shallow gasp of its own, blowing a tickling gust of arid wind that tossed Mel’s platinum blonde hair about her face. “You’ll be alright, Mel. I’m sure it’s just a couple of squatters staying the night, or worst case scenario, maybe a ragtag team of cat swipers who just hit the jackpot. It’s nothing you can’t handle. Besides, local PD should be freed up within the hour after the attempted robbery this morning, so if anything seems fishy get the hell out of Dodge and call for backup.”

“Yea, totally… for sure…” Mel mumbled, her words trailing off as she stood before the door that stood at nearly 2 stories high. “Erm… how exactly do I open this?”

“What, never worked in a warehouse before? If it’s unlocked you should be able to push it up, but it’s gonna be hard if you don’t have any leverage. There’s usually a pulley on the inside that you’re supposed to use, but you can’t even get in there-”

Alex was rudely interrupted by a harsh, rapid clattering of loose metal bearings crashing against each other and the rattle of dusty metal sheets being flung up a pair of rails in desperate need of WD-40. The sound continued once or twice more very briefly after a short pause before subsiding entirely. After some amount of time, Mel sharply exhaled, breaking the silence.

“Huh, just like my father’s garage. Anyways, I’m in,” Mel announced nonchalantly, shaking the dust off her hands. “Can’t see much, but it looks pretty bloody packed in here, though. Might take some time.”

“Well, you know where to find me,” said Alex’s garbled voice. “Hey, what do you say we head downtown later tonight? Last day of your Texas assignment, might as well make the most out of it while you’re here, right? Besides, who knows when you’re coming back here, if ever?”

The thought alone of returning to Texas sent cold shivers creeping across Mel’s back, raising goosebumps on her skin and making hairs stand on edge as they passed. “Yeah, nah, you’re never making me come here on my own will unless you drug me, tie me up in a sack, and dump me out in the heart of Corpus Christi,” she shrugged off with a giggle. “This damn hellhole makes the outback look like Fiji. Every day here is a roll of the dice… and I think my luck’s running out. By the way Alex, I have a favor to ask of you.”

“What’s up?”

“Find a nice pub in town, will you?”

Mel could hear Alex audibly grin from ear to ear through her shitty handheld radio. “That’s my girl! Heh… pub. Hey, drinks are on me tonight, okay? I’ll see you later. Out.” With that final transmission, Alex’s perpetually-tired voice faded into static. Mel dropped her radio into its respective pouch and stepped inside the warehouse. She located the light switches, dimly lit by the sunlight that streamed in from outside, and flipped on all five in one motion. The buzzing of electricity was instantly heard, growing louder in regular intervals as the fluorescent lights overhead flickered to life sequentially.

Bright white luminescence fell from above in a blinding downpour and illuminated dozens upon dozens of full size tractor units, bunched together with inches of space between to squeeze through, complete with unmarked shipping containers on trailers and all. What kind of truck service shop IS this? Mel said to nobody in particular, her thoughts remaining a sound unheard. Rows up on rows and columns upon columns of semis were herded together like livestock, and there wasn’t a single lift, engine hoist, or even a toolbox in sight. Mel was skeptical before, but this slight distrust was aroused into a full-fledged state of suspicion. All of the warning signs were there, but instead of pushing Mel away, it only drew her in further; to her, this wasn’t a prompt of flight or flight, but a mystery begging to be unearthed, or even a puzzle that beckoned to be a solution, although she had a profound distaste for such a trivializing analogy.

There was no way Mel was going to check every single trailer, which must have numbered in the dozens if not close to one hundred. Nevertheless, she started her search with a perimeter sweep of the warehouse’s first floor, occasionally peering between columns of eighteen wheelers or even under, checking for unwanted visitors. The whole time, her presence was marked only with loud, paced steps against the cold floor that echoed through the entire building, the only other audible signature being the monotonous buzzing of the lights and occasional creak of the metal walkways overhead.

After completing an entire uneventful lap, she gave up and decided to call for backup. “Mel here. I don’t recall damn near a hundred or so trucks being a part of the brief. There’s no way I’m searching every single one of these trailers by myself. Could you send a patrol unit or two down here? Maybe five?”

Accompanied by nothing else but the hum of electricity and the faint signature of the industrial fans, Alex’s voice finally came through. “Hold up Mel… taking a bit longer than expected. I’ll send a couple… soon as someone’s free.” His words were heavily punctuated with periodic swaths of static and white noise, which Mel responded to with a healthy dosage of percussive maintenance to the back of her handheld. Grumbling, she folded her arms and stared at the array of trucks that lay before her, but she could feel their many pairs of fogged headlights staring right back at her, mocking her. Their strange incandescent glares proved to be too much, and Mel submitted, cursing to herself and grumbling as she made her way towards the closest trailer unit.

The pair of rusted latches on the back were heavily rusted and offered a considerable amount of resistance. Using a combination of her bodyweight as leverage and the entirety of her lower body muscles to overcome the oxidation-induced friction, Mel finally managed to twist one of the latches free and slid it out of the way, swinging the massive half-door of corrugated brick red sheet metal as far back as she could without hitting the truck behind. Instantly showered with a suffocating blanket of dust and an overpowering, incredible stench of mothballs, Mel let an audible, ugly retch escape from her throat before she covered her mouth and steeled her nerves, climbing inside the container bathed in darkness.

Producing a flashlight from her belt, a blunt cone of light sliced through the darkness, its traced path visible from the sheer amount of stagnant particulate that had been stirred by Mel’s incursion. It was filled from one end to the other with plywood crates, the one closest to her having a misplaced lid that left the crate ajar. But even through this slight gap, the flashlight could illuminate the contents within, and the dull albedo of a black polymer finish was one that Mel was all too familiar with, even with her relatively fresh tenure as an intelligence officer. Casting the lid aside realized her most inane, unfounded speculations. Six AK-pattern rifles in black furniture, standing upright in a styrofoam rack propped against multiple cans of 7.62mm ball ammunition. The next crate she opened yielded identical contents.

In a fervent panic that was starting to burst through the seams of her faltering composure, Mel stumbled back, nearly falling out of the trailer if it wasn’t for the other truck to break her descent. Supporting itself against its chrome bumper, catching her breath, Mel looked around and ran over to the next trailer. This time, fueled by adrenaline, she undid the latch with ease and crawled inside. More crates, just like the last trailer. This time, however, she quickly found that this truck carried not rifles or any other firearm for that matter, but instead rocket propelled grenades and even anti-tank weaponry.

A sick knot formed in her stomach, a pit of steel that made her heart drop and her breath elude itself. A creeping feeling of dread imbued her gut and immobilized her as pins and needles peppered the length of her back and upper neck, stretching all the way to her scalp. Mel had already seen her fair share of drug busts and even numerous search operations against organized crime, and at this point she was no stranger to directly confronting danger. But no two ops were ever the same, and this time it was much worse; caught right in the middle of what appeared to be an illegal arms shipment in transit with zero backup in sight, with the closest possible patrol car being at least 30 minutes away as she was in a relatively secluded area.

“Alex? That backup you were talking about?” Mel spoke, nearly shouted, into her radio. With her radio in her left hand, her right rested on her holster, and she scanned the seemingly vacant walkways above. “We’re gonna need the whole bloody PD.”

Alex’s response came through the radio as bursts of static, much to Mel’s dread. Thinking the terrible reception might be the culprit of this interference, she leapt down from the trailer and headed directly for the loading bay she entered through. Right at the cusp of freedom, however, the unintelligible noise from her radio disappeared, and Alex’s unmistakable voice immediately followed. Nothing else could have brought Mel the same amount of peace as Alex’s panicked calls, his characteristic low energy voice gone, in its place a tone of voice she seldom heard from him. Panic. “Mel! What the fuck are you doing? I’ve been trying to reach you for the last few minutes!”

“Alex! I-”

“This little piggy went to the market…”

A harsh pop of fatiguing, or snapping, metal tore through Mel’s ears. Before she could discern if it was a gunshot, a snapping chain, or perhaps both, the titanic loading bay door quickly unfolded itself with a deafening rattle and slammed shut into the ground, inches away from her face. She instinctively flinched and stumbled backwards, bringing her hands outstretched in front of her face as a cloud of dust was kicked up and expelled violently as the door slammed shut. As soon as she recovered her bearings, Mel immediately drew her handgun and started scanning for anything she could conceal herself behind, anywhere she could take cover and call for backup from, or any way she could get the hell out of there. The barrel of the 17 followed her line of sight, from the walkways above to the gaps between the trucks and to the dark windows of the seemingly empty offices. After a few seconds, her radio set came to life once again, only this time she could properly pay attention to the voice she first heard just moments ago before the door suddenly closed. It was much clearer, but clearly did not belong to Alex.

“This little piggy stayed home… not!”

After a tense silence that strangled Mel, she was suddenly submerged in darkness. The incessant hum of electricity and the loud flickers of the fluorescent lights were absent as well, drowning her in a silence so severe that even her own breaths and the faint ringing in her ears were deafening. Taking out her flashlight, she realized how turning it on would only betray her position in a wide open area and she decided against doing so, instead deciding to hug the walls to get some reference on her position within the building.

Feeling her way along the walls, the only source of illumination being dim cracks of light that leaked through paper-thin openings between the roll-up loading doors and the ground, Mel finally reached the same light switches she used when she first entered just half an hour ago. Flicking them down and back up yielded no change at all.

After a few minutes of clawing through the dark like a dumbass, Mel’s eyes finally adjusted to her pitch black surroundings and could start seeing silhouettes of the trucks lined up bumper to bumper, mirror to mirror, as well as the offices in the corner that were a lot closer than she originally anticipated. Shuffling further along the cool walls in utmost silence, her free hand that was feeling around made contact with an unlocked door handle. Twisting it as slowly as she could, Mel carefully nudged the door open, praying that its door hinges wouldn’t betray her position. Once the gap was large enough, she slipped through and gently closed the door. She grabbed her flashlight and held it in an underhand grip with her left hand, using it to support the firearm in her other hand. Turning it on revealed her surroundings, a damp hallway with a stale smell and dense cobwebs that clung to the ceiling. She entered the first door on her right and closed it behind her.

The office was pitifully small, furnished conservatively. A single 90-degree desk, one file cabinet, and two chairs were covered in a thick layer of dust that had remained undisturbed for an untold passage of time. Mel twisted the window blinds shut and took out her smartphone, turning it on. Only one bar of reception, 13 missed calls, and 107 and counting unread messages. She crawled under the desk and turned off her flashlight, frantically texting Alex with one hand while her other hand clutched her 17 with a shaky, clammy grip. Her breaths were shuddering and only amplified by the acoustics of the wooden desk she hid under, betraying what little composure she had left.

As she hit send, one final crystal clear transmission crackled through her radio’s speaker.

“Should’ve stayed home. Fucking pig!”

The window shattered as a cylindrical metal object was hurled through with great violence, knocking the blinds out of the way. Mel dropped her phone and gun, instantly curling into a fetal position and bracing for impact. Even though she wasn’t directly looking at the flashbang or directly exposed to it, the light of the glowing magnesium that reflected off the peeling walls was still bright enough to leak through her tightly shut eyelids. The clap of thunder was head-splitting and rung through her entire body; it felt as if someone had driven a railroad spike through her ears, and for the longest time she could hear nothing but an incessant, deafening ringing that made her head throb in pain.

A solid boot connected to Mel’s stomach and knocked the wind out of her. She flew out from under the desk, smashing its thick wooden backing. When the bright blurry shapes that obscured her vision faded away, she could just barely make out a humanoid figure standing on top of the desk, and above it was a rectangular hole in the ceiling where a panel used to be. It raised a long, blunt object over its head and jumped, swinging downwards as it fell. The carpet sped away under Mel as she rolled out of harm’s way, the figure landing where she previously lied and smashing the patch of ground next to Mel’s head with the bludgeon.

Mel swung her legs around and into the assailant’s legs, instantly knocking them flat on their ass. Her ears still ringing violently, her eyes burning, and now her abdomen pulverized from a boot-shaped welt that rearranged her intestines, she slowly got up on all fours but was quickly tossed to the ground again. This time, she was pinned down by her assailant’s knees and arms, who was also forcing the blunt object against Mel’s neck like a guillotine.

Mel tried to lift the bar off herself, but a pair of knees were digging into her upper stomach and chest area and her biceps were pinched against the ground. Through gritted teeth, she strained and arched her back, kicked her legs out, and pushed upwards with every ounce of strength she still had before it was lost. Her breaths grew lighter and raspier, her toes curling under her socks, and her eyes meeting those of her attacker’s.

She let out one final airy gasp, and her arched back fell limp, her grip loosened, and her vision grew darker. The last thing Mel saw was her attacker staring right back at her with a sinister gaze illuminated by the faint light from Mel’s smartphone, a light that grew dimmer and dimmer before fading into darkness.

















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"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
















09 October, 2021 /// 8:37 PM MDT

Mel was gently stirred from her deep slumber with the cool, rich voice of Marty Robbins that leaked from the turntable set atop the nightstand beside her bed. She squinted her eyes at the single yellowed light fixture that hung precariously from the ceiling, its frosted glass dotted with black blurs of dead moths. Her ears no longer rang, but were soothed by Robbins’ smooth words over a melodic acoustic guitar and tenor backing vocals. She lifted her head from the pillow and moved her hands to rub her eyes, but they were pulled against a pair of handcuffs chaining her to the bed. Her ankles were similarly bound; the chains rattled loudly and were pulled taut against the metal bedpost. She looked around frantically as she remembered where she was and what happened earlier, in which an unknown length of time had elapsed between then and the present.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, Mel collected herself and began to study her surroundings. The metal-framed bed she was handcuffed to wasn’t against a corner of the room or even a wall, but rather placed directly in the middle. The room itself was similar to that of a trailer-portable classroom and reeked of mothballs. There were no windows and the single door in front of her was locked from the outside. Four bare, yellowing walls enclosed a space that was otherwise barren except for the bed, the nightstand, the turntable, its speakers, and Mel, whose sole company was the voice of Robbins.

Her belt with her holster and radio was nowhere to be found. In fact, none of her clothes were, which she had only realized after noticing how shuffling around a bit. Underneath the thin white sheets, Mel had been completely stripped down, leaving nothing to the imagination. If the fear of death wasn’t enough for her to handle already, there was now the additional fear of being violated. Trapped in a warehouse in the middle of nowhere with no help in sight, Mel wasn’t just out of options; she was running out of hope too.

The handle on the door suddenly rotated with a loud click that immediately caught Mel’s attention. She instinctively started to swing her legs off the bed before she was painfully reminded by the cold, tight handcuffs biting into her ankles. Finally, the door slowly swung open, white fluorescent light pouring in along with that same deafening electrical buzzing as before. Mel sat as upright as her restraints allowed her to, her heart starting to pound violently. She was at the end of the road; all she could do was sit there in her bed, completely naked, at the full mercy of whatever fate her captor decided to subject her to.

“Bet you weren’t expecting to find all of that merchandise just sitting there, were you?”

Mel’s heart dropped. She swore she could feel her hairs turn grayer by the second as the realization sank in. No, it can't be…

The door was kicked out of the way and slammed into the wall, and Mel could finally see her. There she stood, hands triumphantly on her hips, wearing that instantly recognizable black bomber jacket with the eyepatch bunny logo embroidered over the left breast, her hair collected into two long braided ponytails that fell all the way to her waist, her visage obscured by those infamous gold-rimmed aviators and that black and white bear face mask. Her stature was far from intimidating, standing at only 1.63 m, but dangerously instilled a misplaced confidence; many men had tried to take him and that many men were dead, Robbins quipped from the turntable stereo. Indeed, this wasn’t just any ordinary criminal; that much was obvious from the large stores of weaponry and her proficiency in hand-to-hand combat.

“Tanuki Nakajima.” The words came out as a growl, unusual for Mel, for whom it was rare to secretly harbor resentment towards someone and even rarer to expressly detest them.

“Oh, so you do know me!” Mel hearing Tanuki’s high pitched, heavily accented nasal voice with her own ears was surreal, having only heard it through videos on social media and television up until now. It was even more unbearable in person. “Looks like I won’t have to introduce myself after all!”

“Tyrant, mass murderer, war criminal, terrorist… founder of Black Rabbit.” Mel’s voice grew in bitterness with each crime she listed, although this only seemed to amuse Tanuki, whose giggles broke down into that distinctive, squeaky, ear-grating laugh. “At this point, who doesn’t know who you are?”

“AHA HA HA HA HA!” cackled Tanuki. “Please, spare me the flattery, darling.” She slowly made her way over to the immobilized Mel, who remained motionless but stared at the masked girl intently. “They sent the CIA, MI6, the goddamn Spetsnaz, the best hired guns money could buy, Filipino death squads… and now, an Australian? Have they finally lost their minds?”

“They? Who’s ‘they?’”

“Those rat dogs think they’ve finally caught up to me?” Tanuki sneered, her masked face inches away from Mel’s. She didn’t need to take Tanuki’s mask off to see, to hear her wicked, spiteful, scheming, shit-eating grin. “They think they can try to rip me off and throw me under the bus after I saw past their plan? Try to expose me with my own front organization? BASTARDS!” She shouted and suddenly pulled away from Mel, startling her. Tanuki started to slowly pace around the bed, folding her arms. “Those kusogakis don’t know who the hell they’re messing with! Poke the black rabbit, and it’ll tear your goddamn nuts off!”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

Tanuki paused, and the world stopped with her. She slowly turned her head to the right to face Mel, still sitting upright, who was partially covered by the blanket that was being precariously held up by her breasts. “Parduuuuuuun?”

“You aren’t going anywhere, Tanuki. The police have your little hideout surrounded. Probably the bloody National Guard by now as well. I don’t think they’re exactly keen on the most wanted international terrorist hiding on their shores, and I can assure you they’re also very interested in the fact that you’re holding a foreign national hostage. A foreign intelligence officer, to be exact. Lay a finger on me and you’re going to have Australia’s boot trying to share real estate space in your asshole with America’s. Don’t make this any-”

“SHUT UP! BITCH!” Tanuki shouted as she grabbed Mel by the shoulders and swiftly backhanded her across the cheeks with an impressive clap, silencing her immediately. Mel glared at her captor with a razor sharp gaze, but Tanuki remained unfazed. She fell silent for a second, so silent that Mel could almost hear the cogs quickly turning in her head. Suddenly, her expression lit up like a light bulb struck by a current of epiphany. “Yes… exactly! So that means you’re my ticket outta here!”

“What on Earth are you talking about? Have you gone berko?”

“They wouldn’t dare try anything stupid.” That smug grin, again, evidenced by the shifting of her mask. “Not when I have an escort.”

“Taking hostages now, are we?” Mel retorted. “I thought that wasn’t your style.”

“I prefer the term business partner.” Tanuki sat down on the bed beside Mel, catching her off guard. “In fact, let’s make it official! You help me, I help you, everyone’s happy!”

“And what does that make me,” Mel scoffed, “your partner in crime? Why on earth would I do that?”

Tanuki pushed Mel back against the soft white bedsheets and sat on top of her, straddling the quadruply-handcuffed Australian. “Ever heard of Crugandr?” she asked, leaning towards Mel’s face.

“Get off me,” Mel mouthed, scowling at Tanuki.

Tanuki leaned closer still, her braided twintails almost touching Mel. “It’s hard to be on the run constantly, you know! Even an entrepreneur like me needs a vacation from time to time! Problem is, I can't stay too long in one place without getting found out; Interpol bastards always show up no matter where I go! I can’t catch a damn break! But with Crugandr? No Dollar Tree mercenaries, no drone strikes, no Interpigs! Not even those Cambodian traffickers are gonna find me after the shit they tried pulling on me in Kuala Lumpur! AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“Are you mad?” Mel scoffed. Tanuki remained nonchalant as ever, carefully crawling off the bed and resuming her stroll around the room. She remained completely unfazed even knowing she was completely surrounded and had no escape contingency or plan B. Or so it seemed. “Say I just let you go to wherever the hell that is and pray you don’t burn down another neighborhood along the way,” continued Mel. “Then what? You have your little vacation while we sit on our tits, then back to business as usual? Besides, I don’t see how you’re getting there in the first place.”

“That’s where you come in!”

Mel was completely speechless, and could only stare dumbfounded at Tanuki. Her mouth nearly hung agape, for it had no words left to spill. Now it was her turn to mutter only a simple “pardon?”

“Remember what I said? They aren’t doing so much as giving me the stink eye! Not when I have you by my side. As my escort. That sweet ass ride you brought here? That’s my ride outta here!” She pivoted on her heels like a Phalanx CIWS tracking a hypersonic anti-ship missile, pointing at Mel in a single explosive motion. Spontaneous, unpredictable, violent bursts of energy and action. Just like Tanuki herself, the agent of chaos. “And you’re my ticket!”

Mel fell back and sighed, burying her head in the pillow as she stared at the ceiling. “... I can’t believe I’m hearing this right now.”

“Better believe it, darling! This is the opportunity of a lifetime, to work directly with the Tanuki Nakajima, CEO of Black Rabbit Limited! You escort me safely to Crugandr, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know about those traffickers. You’ve dealt with them before, haven’t you? Bastards making it hard for everyone, both your kind and hard, honest workers like me! We’ll teach those RRATS a lesson! Like I said; you help me, I help you, everyone’s happy! What do you say?” Tanuki’s soft smile contorted into a smug grin, and behind her opaque aviators, Mel could feel her eyes brimming with mischief and untold plans of grandeur. “Besides~... I’m your only ticket outta here as well. You said it yourself; they wouldn’t dare try and take me, whether it’s in handcuffs or a body bag. Because this Australian intelligence officer won’t be any good to them if she’s dead! AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

With that, Mel was left stranded at a moral crossroads. Would knowingly helping Tanuki, a convicted international terrorist, in any way be justified by her helping Mel’s and ASIO’s investigations in return? Two wrongs never made a right in her eyes, but it’s not like she had much of a choice anyways. At least, not when her life was on the line. With no other option, and remembering Tanuki's notoriety regarding her treatment of POWs, Mel finally broke the silence with a defeated voice of acceptance. “Oh, fuck me.”

Tanuki’s high-pitched laughter was triumphant, but Mel felt nothing but humiliation and mockery. “You’re hired, Mel! Welcome to Black Rabbit!”

















6 Likes

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.





























Mel - Driver + Mechanic

/// Age: 25 (DOB: 1996 August)
/// Height: 1.70 m
/// Nationality: :australia:
/// Ethnicity: White
/// Affiliation: Australian Security Intelligence Organisation
/// Deadlift 1RM: 180 kg
/// Cars: 1963 Aisling Bulldog 1.3 RS || 1973 Seraphin Pike RF || 1986 Overland Bushmaster 23 SE 3000TDi Canvas Top || 2011 Diomedes Valkyrie GTS || 2019 Hamura Acolyte RHI


Tanuki - Navigator + Gunner + Combat Engineer

/// Age: 24 (DOB: 1997 April)
/// Height: 1.63 m
/// Nationality: :jp: (formerly)
/// Ethnicity: Japanese
/// Affiliation: Black Rabbit Ltd.
/// Martial arts: Taekwondo (5th Dan Black Belt) || Krav Maga
/// War crimes: murder (20-30 counts) || enslavement (15 000 counts) || persecutions on political, racial or religious grounds (1 750 000+ counts) || ill treatment or deportation to slave labour or for any other purpose of the civilian population in occupied territory || ill treatment of prisoners of war or persons on the seas || plunder of public or private property || wanton destruction of cities, towns or villages















A rally stage is the ultimate test of a car’s running gear, especially on components such as the suspension and brakes. As it turns out, averaging speeds two or three times over the speed limit on roads that make the Oregon Trail look like the Autobahn take a huge toll on the car. With Mel as her hostage-escort-driver, Tanuki also left her in charge of preparing the Dauer for their journey to Crugandr.

Mel reached out to local automotive tuning shops to fabricate the parts needed. Bumpy, low-quality tarmac roads with provisions for jumps necessitated modified suspension geometry, which meant redesigned long-travel strengthened control arms, longer springs with a higher rate, and upgraded dampers. Strengthened shock towers and bump stops were also fitted in the event a jump would be just a little too high.

Mel initially decided to use performance summer tires given the nature of the rally and how most of the road surfaces would be tarmac, but under further deliberation with Tanuki, settled on a less grippy yet far more durable compound.

Unnecessary interior hardware was stripped out and some components were replaced entirely, most notably the seats; a pair of carbon fiber and aluminum race buckets covered in alcantara take their place. Other miscellaneous hardware upgrades included a custom roof rack made from leftover steel piping, Speedline-style rally wheels painted in white with red center caps, and a set of hood-mounted rally lights that were aimed too high to be used on public roads without blinding other drivers.

Since the engine needed to run on 85 RON-equivalent fuel, Mel replaced the rudimentary single-point fuel injection and archaic ECU with a newer unit from a later model 632 S that came with multipoint fuel injection. Messing with the timing in conjunction with low-compression pistons from a turbocharged Dauer boxer-6 from the late 80s, the engine was finally able to run smoothly and reliably on low quality fuel while still delivering a healthy amount of power; just over 200 hp was enough to propel the 632 S to 62 mph in under 6 seconds.

As for the livery, Mel was heavily inspired by 80s Dauer race cars that wore the livery of Gothgirl, a then-popular British tobacco company. The exterior was also fully restored beforehand by a local body shop as part of the repainting process. Neither Mel nor Tanuki can confirm if any of the sponsors on the car are indeed legitimate.

















13 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Entries Closed!) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen

This is reply to last part of story

Uhhh…i guess this is it?

We are getting filled with burgers to some extent (Thanks Kayden) and have finished with stocking some stuff for Pi and clothes for us that use them.

Dont worry, our typical bunch of bad guys decided to spice things up a bit…with one addition worthy of being named as individual

Octosock was driving and rest was stacked on and in car. He had implemented tactic and strategy, deciding to get behind the tent and attack from other side.
Rest did their usual guns-blazing, out-right shooting, straight-out attack on our team.
This ended up on same note as always, so rest of camp could have enjoyed watching some incompetent asses being kicked by dogs.

Chicota noted someone going the other way and had gone to get him.
Octosock had surrendered immidiately and went other way.

“Where are we sent? Whats this place?”
“Mojave Desert in Nevada…”

Chicota was interrupted by individual kneeling to ground and kissing it
“FREEDOOOOOOOOM!!!
I
AM
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“Ok, you arent exactly a bad guy here, it seems.”
“Show me Mrdja. He will recognise me and i will recognise him. Enough of proof?”
“Try anything funny and i will make sure that knife i usually use for killing flies and mosquitoes ends up your life.”

Two of them had approached me.
I recognised Octosock.
He recognised me.
Chicota had a proof.
Rest was beaten badly, but he will stay unharmed.

We will load up car with beaten baddies, he will offload them in some other middle-of-nowhere place and he is free to head to home.

“Do you want some burgers?”
“No, i aint type of person that likes any beef in my life.”

Understood. He did happened to carry some basic stuff

  • one car battery,
  • lot of different types of wire,
  • few deformed small parts of body panels from some other car,
  • three packs of cigarettes,
  • two cans of motor oil,
  • one liter bottle of 70% alcohol
  • two Zippo lighters
  • two outdated calendars for car mechanic shops - ofc having…sparsely clothed females
  • two pillows, both looking terrible
  • small piping
  • shirt with decoration sprinkles of motor oil
  • bottle of antifreeze of terrible quality

All of which was escorted to our toolbox in return for some biscuits and bottle of water.
He went on his way to dump rest in random point of desert and went home.
Good luck Octosock

We went organizing most of stuff, while Pi looked at calenders, trying to determine why someone would put lot of symbols below pictures of sparsely clothed females.
She also rightfully noted that females are pretty and symbols are straight out confusing.
Also gave them names, bcos she saw that as smartest thing to do (in her case, this was likely true).

I also had a look at them, admitedly not for dates in month part.
Snatched few wires myself, having a briliant idea bcos yes.
This idea would be related to securing the bike on some other place inside of the bed when we go to sleep - i found that one member of our team is tad bit obese and too lazy to climb over to area above the cab (identity of individual is hidden in that exact sentence too; prob would guess anyway).

And with all of this stuff underway, we would still appreciate visits by other teams
Those three cigarette packs are here for taking - nobody smokes in our group.

Team Shift Happens

Team Information

Previous Chapters:

Let’s Get This Party Started / First Arrivals - Starting Party 6 AM
Making Friends? - Starting Party 7 AM
A Moment in Time - Starting Party 7:30 AM
Another Team Arrives / War Songs in the Camp - Starting Party 8 AM
A Grand Reveal / An Army of Soda Cans - Starting Party 8:30 AM
Drivers’ Meeting - Starting Party 9 AM
A Request for Help - Starting Party 9:15 AM
A Helping Hand - Starting Party 9:30 AM
A Glimpse Into The Unknown - Starting Party Noon
Getting Hyped Up - Starting Party 3 PM

Shitbox Rally Campsite, 6 PM Local Time.

The banners flapped in the breeze as the sun started to sink in the sky. If the air was electrified with energy before, it paled in comparison to the nuclear explosion of anticipation as the seconds counted down to 6 PM.

When Kaylie’s phone alarm went off at 6 PM, people scrambled to their cars. A chorus of engines coughed, sputtered, rattled, and roared into life. Radios squawked to life and lights clicked on as everyone got ready to go.

Rukari and Kivenaal walked over to the barn door ‘closet’ that had been attracting attention since the opening of the mirror, both working together to push their magic and open the Rift. They swung the doors open, but instead of a dark, wooden box on the inside, they opened into a dark, deep-blue world. From outside, it was almost impossible to see into it.

Rukari turned to Jaden and said, “When all of us are through, close door behind us.” Jaden nodded, watching as Kivenaal and Rukari headed back toward the Highwayman.

Kivenaal took the driver’s seat for the first time in the Rally, with Malavera sitting mid-bench up front and Rukari sitting shotgun. The back seat contained Kayden just behind Kivenaal, Jayde in the mid-bench, and Kaylie behind her radio console. Kaylie keyed the microphone with all four radios active in broadcast mode, then said, “I’ve been told to tell you all that it’s single-file through the portal. We’ll be in a convoy while in the Rift, and it’s supposedly going to be a long drive, so get comfortable.”

Kivenaal stuffed the transfer case into 2L, the gearbox into first gear, and became the first person in the history of the world to drive an Earth car into Nelehnraad. The Highwayman’s powerful headlights and off-road lights cut through the darkness, but not enough to really see from outside the portal, and soon, even the tail-lights were hard to see.


(OOC: And so it begins. Stage 0 coming right up.)

Shitbox Rally

Stage 0 – Nevada through Nelehnraad to Jaduvira, Crugandr.

Stage Start: 6 PM Local Time, Nevada

Weather at Stage Start: Hot and Dry, Gentle breeze.

Weather at Stage Middle: Cool, Dark, Moist, No Wind

Weather at Stage End: Hot and Humid, Gentle breeze

Stage End: 8 Sun Local Time, Crugandr



Once the door was shut behind the last car, the dark blue atmosphere of Nelehnraad became easier to see through. At the very far edges of your lights, you can just barely make out a forest of trees with black leaves. Under the tires, ashy black cobblestones provide surprising grip, and the road is nearly as wide as an American Interstate highway (or at least, one side of it, a big two-lane road with extra shoulder width on both sides). Early in the stage, you hear thunder but without lightning, potentially the sound of sonic booms. As you get to the middle, this assault of sound vanishes, leaving it feeling like an eerie, enchanted forest, with nothing but the sound of everyone’s cars to break up the deafening silence. As you get closer to the end, the sound of paws, like large cats running through the forest, can be heard, and occasionally, eyes can be seen glowing in the flood of powerful lights.


Notes: All vehicles were traveling in a convoy. This stage is not counted in the total mileage of the run, nor is it counted in the total drive time of the run. The Randomization formula is not yet being used. Breakdowns are not yet active. Breakdown rolls, however, were used for a Rift special encounter. Random numbers were generated by: https://www.random.org/ and will continue to come from there in the future.


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 1

Other than the noise of the all-terrain tires on the stone road, and occasional outbursts on the radios, it’s all peaceful in the Bricksley. A muffled thump echoes through the car as a six legged cat roughly the size of a cougar jumps into the bed and meows at the team.


@Caligari

Team Wayfarers

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 3

Despite the rust, the old IFAZ Bogatir is surprisingly solid in this drive through the Rift, and other than the usual squeaks, rattles, and the hum of the tires, it’s a long peaceful drive.


@Executive

Team Gearknobs

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 3

Unsurprisingly, the Hakaru Carica is quite at home here on flat ground. The all-terrain tires are a little loud, but thankfully, that’s the only loud thing in the car.


@BannedByAndroid

Team Fallen Angels of the Past

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 1

The Claussient 25 shows no signs of trouble, and the hard long-life road tires are quiet as a whisper on the cobblestone road. The sound of something landing on the roof of the car is heard, and there’s a loud meow from a six-legged cat that has taken a liking to someone on your team.


@interior

Team Slow

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 2

Despite the noisy all-terrain tires and the growling V8 up front, all seems peaceful in the Schnell XL53.


@TheYugo45GV

Team Oil Crisis

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 1

Other than needing a mild pit stop to change tanks and some noise from the tires, it’s quiet in the Union Magistrate. At that pit stop, a large six-legged cat jumps into the car and won’t leave, curling up in someone’s lap.

(Author’s note: You said a 30 gallon tank and a 10 gallon reserve. Your wheelbase gives you a 20 gallon tank, so I’m giving you a 20 gallon reserve. Given that fuel isn’t an issue, having a spare gas tank isn’t giving you an advantage.)


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 1

The IP Freeway Star is noisy, but solid. Between the loud buzzy four cylinder engine, the all-terrain tires, and the Dixie horn, however, they’re all expected noises. A six-legged cat has leaped up onto the roof and has stayed there for the remainder of the journey.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team Witchlight

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 3

It’s smooth sailing in the EAAC Aphrodite land yacht. The tires are quiet and the engine isn’t too loud, giving everyone more than enough time to contemplate what they’ve gotten into.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 4

Like many other vehicles, the Kontir Cunningham isn’t making any noises that aren’t expected. The truck still smells faintly of piss, however, and the contents of the camper occasionally make rattling noises.


@variationofvariables

Team Blazers

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 3

The Yamada ASR-4 seems quite well suited to cruising along in the dark. Other than some noise from the all-terrain tires, it’s quiet.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passiones

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 1

Stopping twice for fuel didn’t make the MCP AWSB a popular van in the convoy. However, other than tire noise and team squabbles, it was a peaceful enough journey. On their second refueling stop, a six-legged cat jumps into the van and won’t leave, instead curling up in someone’s lap and purring.


@AndiD

Team “Quick Rally 47”

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 1

Unsurprisingly, the Mara Kanyon had no issues at all with the relatively smooth cobblestone road. The all-terrain tires provided a soothing background hum behind the engine noise, and the observations of the teams continued without any issues. These observations are further aided when a six-legged cat leaps through an open window and ends up in Arthur’s lap.


@BG004130

Team Mrezhari

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 2

The grippy medium compound tires give the Dunav 3300 excellent handling characteristics here on the cobblestone road in the Rift. Other than occasionally weaving around other vehicles as if they were moving pylons in a slalom course, the trip wasn’t very exciting.


@NoahC

Team Jockey

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 2

The tiny little almost-a-four-seater Yinzer MightyTiny hums along just fine, needing to stop and refill the equally tiny gas tank once. However, a loud buzz rumbling through the car has everyone worried as to whether that is the all-terrain tires, or if someone just gassed four people in a car the size of a fridge.

(Author’s note: The car is a 2+2, so they do have 4 seats, but four fully-grown adults in a 2+2 penalty box will provide some mild humor at times.)


@elizipeazie

Team RK Series Racing

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 1

The Anhultz Dione cruises along quite smoothly, thanks to the hard long-life road tires it was equipped with. A six-legged cat has jumped through the window and curled up in Connor’s lap, where it is now purring.


@Tzuyu_main

Team Black Rabbit

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 3

The rally-modified Dauer 632 S may be the least comfortable car on the field, and it’s certainly one of the most visible, but it’s at least a smooth trip.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Distance Traveled: 177.6 Miles
Time (Hours:Minutes:Seconds): 2:57:36
Average MPH: 60
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: Not Active
Breakdown Roll: 4

The AST Elbrus cruises along at the expected pace without an issue, and the noise from the all-terrain tires is completely normal.




Team Shift Happens

Team Information

Previous Chapters:

Let’s Get This Party Started / First Arrivals - Starting Party 6 AM
Making Friends? - Starting Party 7 AM
A Moment in Time - Starting Party 7:30 AM
Another Team Arrives / War Songs in the Camp - Starting Party 8 AM
A Grand Reveal / An Army of Soda Cans - Starting Party 8:30 AM
Drivers’ Meeting - Starting Party 9 AM
A Request for Help - Starting Party 9:15 AM
A Helping Hand - Starting Party 9:30 AM
A Glimpse Into The Unknown - Starting Party Noon
Getting Hyped Up - Starting Party 3 PM
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM


Nelehnraad

Things started out peaceful for the first 30 minutes of the trip, other than the occasional sonic boom way up above the cars. Then, things started getting chaotic. Team Oil Crisis, apparently deciding to spice things up a bit, deliberately drove into the back of the Bricksley, sending a jarring jolt through the truck and making everyone turn and look. This, of course, led to Kivenaal bumping into the IP Freeway Star of Team Hillbilly Rollers, a mild bump, but still enough to jostle their crew. When Team Oil Crisis did this again to Kivenaal, Kaylie rolled down her window, turned around in her seat, and held her wrench in her chrome left hand, an ominous threat that she’d hurl that wrench at them. Wisely, they backed off, only to proceed to target other teams. (@TheYugo45GV, feel free to take over on that lead in.) Kaylie got on the radio and apologized to Team Hillbilly Rollers with, “Sorry for the bump. We got rear-ended.”

Other than stopping a handful of times for people to refuel, the journey was going well. Then as they neared the last hour, glowing green eyes could be seen in the treeline on either side of the road. These turned out to belong to cats with six legs, which then promptly launched themselves toward various vehicles, latching on the best they could. Some made it through windows. Others held onto the cargo racks on the roof. A few got lucky and found teams while everyone was waiting on a team to finish refueling their car. Jayde grinned as he brought a black-and-gray cat into the Bricksley. “You know, I’ve always wanted a Jagriska, but, well, I’ve not done a lot of Rift-Walking. I guess this was my time,” Jayde said.

As they approached the end of the road, the doors swung open, nearly flash-blinding everyone and forcing everyone to slam on the brakes to avoid entering the town at 60 miles per hour.


Jaduvira, Crugandr, 8 Sun Local Time.

When they’d left, it was sunset in Nevada, and when they arrived in Jaduvira, bursting out of the door to a carriage shed, the sun was low in the sky here, too. Somewhere, a clock struck eight times, and combined with the sun hanging low in the sky and the twin moons starting to rise, it was obvious, then, that this was nearing the night. Having been driving for nearly three hours, Kivenaal was getting fatigued, and Kaylie highly suspected that most of their competitors were as well.

Kaylie looked back to see the last car drive out of the shed, the AST Elbrus, and watched as the doors were finally swung shut. Everyone slowed down, as it wasn’t really a smart idea to speed recklessly through unknown streets in fancy “magic” carriages. A train sluggishly left the station in a great billowing cloud of smoke and steam as the group of 17 odd, noisy vehicles weaved their way through the city of Jaduvira and toward the main gate, passing by buildings made with stone foundations and wooden walls, a local blacksmith who nearly dropped his hammer in the forge at the sight of the cars, and a few market stalls selling various fruits and vegetables. Guards wearing leather armor with a bright yellow fabric sash opened the gate for them, and soon, all of the teams were in the outskirts of the city.

“We’re going to stop here and make camp,” Kaylie said as they found a large, relatively flat area on the other side of the road.

Engines were switched off, and soon all that could be heard was the chirping of crickets, the crackling of the campfire (which was more for light and definitely less for heat, given the tropical conditions), and the sounds of people setting up their tents. The sky was beautifully clear with only the occasional cloud drifting past the sea of stars, providing an excellent view of the twin moons.

Tonight, they would rest. Tomorrow morning, the Rally would truly start.

In the distance, a lone wolf howled, birds sang, and the sounds of steam locomotives and large lizard-drawn carriages drifted into the camp as those vehicles trundled up and down the rails and the roads. Compared to Earth, it was oddly peaceful.

“So, who’s sharing a tent?” Malavera asked, looking at the five tents that Rukari had set up.

“Kaylie and I can share,” Jayde said after a while. Kaylie gave a shy smile, going to protest at first, though realized no matter what, someone was going to end up having to share. Jayde was big, but then so were most of the males in the group. If she didn’t share a tent with someone, well, it just meant two people would be extra cranky in the morning.

“That settles that, then,” Malavera said.

In the campsite, the influx of six-legged cats was now quite obvious. Jayde smiled. “Looks like we passed by a snarl of Jagriska kittens on our way here,” Jayde said, holding his own newly-found gray-and-black six-legged cat. “Great familiars for those magically inclined. Great pets for those who aren’t.”

“Out of curiosity, Jayde,” Kaylie asked, “how big do these cats get if the kittens are the size of adult cougars?”

“About the size of tigers when fully grown. But they’re gentle,” Jayde replied. “And it takes a few years for them to get that big.”



(OOC: And so starts the Shitbox Rally. New stages will be roughly every week, so have fun, everyone!)

5 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty

Our friends left the team with their weirdly looking totally not a GM dustbuster van to prepare for the race. Marie quickly went and grabbed each of the crew members a burger to have something to eat before the race start which was going to be very soon.

ANDREAS: “I said no more looting, right?”
MARIE: “Actually they were free!”
JANNE: “Wow, you can show some behaviour at times. Oh, well. At least as long as you get something for free”, he said and grabbed his burger.

After a quick meal and a checkup of the van, it was quite clearly time for the race to start, or at least for the travelling in pack to Crugandir. They got the place in the Convoy ahead of the Bricksley, something that later would prove to be kind of the wrong spot. The pink van rolled into something that hardly looked more fancy than the sheds Janne could be nailing together from scrapwood, but it actually worked. It was a kind of sinister looking landscape they saw in the windshield, and they really could not turn on their fancy LED ramps because frying the eyes of the hosts through the rear view mirror would not really prove to be a good idea.

After a while, though, the noise was getting kind of annoying.
MARIE: IT IS LOUD AS FUCK IN HERE!
ANDREAS: I guess I blame the cobblestone roads then.
JANNE: You know what? Road 99 took us here, and now the least thing we can do is to celebrate it, right!

Janne grabbed one of his home-burnt-while-drunk CDs and put it into the still working IP Concer-tone 100 unit. The most basic sound system available in 2007, and nothing that would impress at dB-drags, but still.

Pär Hulkoffs sweet voice soon was interrupted by the Bricksley bouncing into the back of the Freeway Star, first once, then twice.

ANDREAS: WHAT THE FUCK? (calling on the CB)
BREAKER 1-9 BREA…EEHHH WHATEVER, DOES NOT BRICKSLEYS HAVE BRAKES???

"Sorry for the bump. We got rear-ended.

JANNE: Say what you want about the huge, fugly plastic bumpers but they do work. Hopefully the crash has scratched off at least some of the pink paint, other than that, I doubt that there is any damage.

The travel went on quite painless, at least until they heard something landing on the roof. Andreas stomped on the brakes.

ANDREAS: What the fuck was that? Jump out of the van and check out what happened.
JANNE: There is a cat on the roof.
ANDREAS: Oh.
MARIE: Naaaw…come kitty kitty
ANDREAS: No looting also applies to animals just so you know.
JANNE: It has six legs…
ANDREAS, MARIE: UHH???
JANNE: And it is totally weird looking, it is dark teal with some stripes in brown.
ANDREAS: HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING SOME STUFF MARIE HAS LOOTED NOW?
JANNE: Step out of the van and you will see.
ANDREAS, MARIE (steps out of the van): Ehm…uhm… You’re indeed right.
MARIE: Chase it away, poor kitty can’t sit there for the whole trip.

Since all the attempts to chase the cat away failed, they decided to let it sit there since 30 claws would probably be enough for it to grab to the roof. And probably they were right, since the six-legged feline still hung to the roof when they rolled into the campsite.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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The First Campsite, Nevada, USA

March 4th, 2022

Unknown, Nevada

Local time: 9:00am

Weather: Clear


“Orlan!” Aedan called. “Where are you?”

“Over here!” a voice called.

Aedan walked over to the Magistrate to find his team mates. “C’mon, Driver’s meeting is starting.”

(skipping the sneak peak)


Nelehnraad

March 4th, 2022

Somewhere in Nelehnraad.

Local time: Unknown

Weather: Cool, dark and moist. (Refreshing even for the desert dwelling lombaxes)


The pass through the portal had been successful for the most part, The sips of liquid courage had given them good luck. Well, that was extremely illegal to do so behind the wheel but they only had a small sip and were likely still sober enough not to crash horribly and die. The journey so far had been uneventful and aside from pulling over to switch to the reserve tank before setting off again. Orlan had decided to take over after that fuel stop, Pavel had found beautiful ginger furred, green eyed six legged cat that had jumped into the car and began petting it while trying to get Gunther to befriend it, Malcolm was checking a map, K’mino was sitting next to him watching the dark landscape go by, eventually falling asleep and Aedan was in the passenger seat shining what appeared to be a handheld spotlight out the window as the aux lights were kept off since K’mino messed up and bought two landing lights from a 737 instead of just normal off road lights.

As the journey continued a sonic boom rang out over head and Orlan looked up to curious as to where it came from before his thoughts were interrupted.

Aedan became increasingly panicked. “Orlan. Orlan! ORLAN!!”

By the time he looked ahead it was already too late to slow down and they bumped the rear bumper of the Bricksley ahead of them. This impact jarred K’mino awake and attracted the attention of Pavel and Malcolm.

“What did he do?” asked Malcolm.

“He bumped the giant Vantruck in front of us. And–,” Another crash resonated through the cabin. A female voice shouted something but it was lost in the wind. “I don’t know what she said, but I think she threatened to kill you, and if you aren’t careful I’ll do the honours myself.”

“Can you not threaten to kill me for the 19th time?”

“Shut up and drive.”


Crugandr

March 4th, 2022

Jaduvira, Vira Province, Crugandr.

Local time: 8:25 Sun Time

Weather: Hot, Humid and breezy (It was a very pleasant kind of hot that the cold had been swapped for)


A distant clock tower bonged eight times and the sun was low in the sky and this signified that it was going to be night soon. Orlan was already tired having been up since 3 am the previous day and so was the rest of the team, but they were in the final stretch and they would soon be able to sleep. Jaduvira was a beautiful city especially in the evening, people were mingling about and many were in awe at the strange vehicles driving though the city streets. Eventually they reached the main gates of the city and stopped about 50 feet from the gates on a patch of hard packed soil that just so happen to be able to fit the 17 cars. The Magistrate pulled up next to Hillbilly Rollers knocking over the tent that Marie had half assed in setting up. After a few adjustments they parked the car and shut the engine down. About 20 minutes later everyone had completed setting up their tents. Malcolm and K’mino set up their two person mountaineering tent next to the Magistrate and were moving their sleeping bags into it while Aedan, Orlan and Pavel had moved the team’s luggage and put it in the front passenger seat. One weapon crate was put along side the luggage inside the car as it was too sensitive to leave outside. In one of the two crates outside the car was the Walther WA2000, and in the other were the two FALs. The M92s were all stored on the cargo shelves in the roof extension on either side.

Orlan didn’t seem to like the sleeping arrangements. “Do us three really have to share the back of the Magistrate?”

Aedan rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Malcolm’s got his tent, and I’m sure K’mino wouldn’t mind sleeping behind sheet metal.”

A sharp sigh escaped from his brother. “By the order of the stars I will not spend the night in a tent.” Orlan said, his voice low.

“Then why are you complaining?”

“Because I’m not comfortable having to spoon with my commanding officer, who’s also my brother and a former, well respected five bolt general.”

Pavel looked up from petting his cat. “I had to share a lower bunk with a crew mate during my time on the Centurion. This is the same but it isn’t a star ship bunk, just the back of a station wagon.”

“Alright, I’ll suck it up.” Orlan said, before muttering to himself about something.

Shortly later, they got rear seats of the Magistrate folded down and inflated the air mattress they brought, before getting the giant shared blanket that likely wouldn’t see any use because of the heat.

A distant train whistle and the chugging of a steam locomotive followed by the railway cars claketing resonated through the quiet evening…


To Be Continued (like always)

(*OOC note: I’m just testing the waters with this province name, Let me know if this is OK or not because I don’t want to ruin anything.)

5 Likes

Team Shift Happens

Team Information

Previous Chapters:
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM
Boldly Going / Through the Rift / Arrival in Jaduvira - Stage 0



(OOC: No problems with the province names. I’ll leave a list of semi-proper ones here after my post, because I’ve had enough time to come up with ones that work given the rest of the town names.)



18/7/3251, 8 Sun Local Time, the First Camp in Crugandr

Rukari sat behind a large pot of stew near the campfire, something made using basic supplies they’d brought. He knew that with a bit of beef, some potatoes, a handful of vegetables, and some garlic, he could make something rather decent for a meal. He slowly stirred it with a large wooden spoon, taking pride in something he knew how to do.

“So, when the hell are we, then?” Kayden asked. “I mean, we know we’re in Crugandr, and we’ve been told that’s Jaduvira, but what timeframe are we here in?”

“Well, given the stump I kicked still had bees around it, it can’t be much later than when I left,” Jayde said. “That was Clendim 18, 7th month, 3251 AWM, and I left around 4:75 Sun.”

Malavera nodded. “I know my history of this world, so that makes some sense,” he said. When the others stared at him, he sighed. “They don’t have month names like we do on Earth. It’s just 1 through 13. So, this is Month 7, mid-year. Clendim is like our Wednesday, but the weekdays are named for activities. Clendim would be a cleaning day. With 35 days a month, that puts us about mid-month as well given that it’s the 18th. And it’s 3251 years after the War of Magic,” Malavera said.

Kaylie then looked at the other two from this world, Kivenaal and Rukari, then asked, “So, what years did you two come from?”

Rukari smiled. “I left in 87 ASW. After Second War of Magic,” Rukari explained.

Kivenaal grimaced. “That entirely depends on what reference you want. That could be 8729 ASW. Or 1 AFA. Depends on whether you’re asking when I left the planet, or when I left what I called home.”

“AFA?” Kaylie asked.

“After the Fall of Aetherii. Some others call it ATW, or After the Third War of Magic,” Malavera said. “The first was often said by survivors of the war. The second is often used by historians.”

“So, Kivenaal was there?” Kayden asked.

“Saw the purple death-fog shroud the entire planet,” Kivenaal said in a haunted tone of voice. “When it faded, the planet was… The trees survived, but I can’t imagine much else did. Those who couldn’t escape…” He trailed off, refusing to say any more. He got up, grabbed one of the dark purple bottles from the back of the Bricksley, pulled the cork out with his claws, and downed almost half of it in a matter of seconds.



(OOC: @TheYugo45GV So, regarding province names, Jaduvira’s province would be better as Vira Province, as “Vira” in Old Gand means “Dark.” Jadu is more just a word for green, referencing the forest around it. (The first town we’ll stop at by the end of Stage 1 is Viravalli which means “Dark Forest.” Samiraie’s province would be better as Raie Province, coming from their word for Lake. Trugarde’s province should be Garda, from their word meaning Guard or Sentinel. Tapari’s province would be best as Itz Province, from itz being a word for Watch. They were often a line of defense against pirates and invasions.)

3 Likes

Great, I will make the appropriate changes

2 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty

PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!

When our friends was finished with looking surprisingly at the cute little kittycat (ehm…) on the roof, they decided that there was no time to spare, but better get going with making themselves comfortable.

MARIE: I can put up the tent!
ANDREAS: I highly doubt that.
MARIE: Why?
ANDREAS: Because you can’t do anything, more or less.
JANNE: Oh, come on, how can she fail with setting up a tent?
ANDREAS: Because she failed with painting the van!
JANNE: Unfortunately not, see, even if I had hoped for more of it to come loose, most of the paint actually is still left after the Bricksley hit us.

When Marie had struggled for a while and said some less nice words, Andreas was starting to lose his temper.

ANDREAS: Well, are you finished soon?
MARIE: No, because this is the worst tent in the whole damn world, we should have bought a good one instead!
ANDREAS: To me, it’s nothing but a pretty regular tent, though.
MARIE: This will have to do!
ANDREAS: It will collapse before midnight.
MARIE: NO IT WILL NOT!

The fight was abruptly interrupted by the Union Magistrate entering the campsite at a fairly high speed, knocking down the tent completely. Not only that, Marie somewhat managed to get stuck in the tent that fell over her, and to make things even worse, the six legged cat jumped down from the roof of the Freeway Star, down on the tent that Marie struggled to come loose from.

MARIE: OH FUCK! WHAT THE HELL HAPP…NO, GET AWAY FROM HERE YOU LITTLE BAST…AAAAAOOOOOOOHHHHHH DON’T PUT THE CLAWS THROUGH THE TENT OR I WILL COOK YOU FOR BREAKFAST TOMORROW!

“MEEEEOOOOOWWWW SCREEEEEECH!”

After a small catfight (no pun intended), Marie finally managed to pry herself loose from the mess that once was a tent, while the cat ran somewhere far away.

MARIE: DID YOU GUYS GET YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE IN A PACKAGE OF CORN FLAKES? FIRST YOU HIT THE DAMN BRICKSLEY, NOT ONLY ONCE, BUT TWICE, SENDING IT INTO OUR DAMN VAN! THEN YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO KNOCK DOWN OUR TENT WITH YOUR GODDAMNED FAMILY TRUCKSTER! I AM GETTING KIND OF TIRED OF THIS!

After the yelling, she threw the tent pegs towards one of the Union’s wheels, without doing any damage though, and then threw the whole tent over the station wagon, walking towards the van to get something.

MARIE: AND WHY WON’T THIS MOTHERFUCKING DOOR OPEN HNNNNGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
JANNE: Use the sliding door on the other side, I have told you exactly 47 times that only one of them works.
MARIE: Oh, right. I need something to drink!

After opening the other door, Marie took some sips from the can of Kilju. Andreas excused themselves for Marie’s behaviour but told Team Oil Crisis that she kind of had a point with what she was saying, while Janne got a great idea for a little “bribe”. He took an empty PET bottle that was in one of the front door storage compartments, and filled it up with Kilju, to approach the hosts. He went to Rukari with the bottle of Kilju.

JANNE: Take this as a gift from us. It’s pure finnish quality!

Janne gave Rukari a kind of weird smile, he knew that it wasn’t for everyone, but maybe they would appreciate it.

Meanwhile at the van, Andreas managed to put the tent up in almost no time at all.

ANDREAS: You’re right. We should have bought a better tent. It was impossible to put this shit up.
MARIE: Well, like I am listening to you anyway, Mr. Wise guy!

TO BE CONTINUED
@Madrias @TheYugo45GV

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RK Series Racing; Stage 0 Drive

Most of the afternoon has been spent with the various team members doing various semi-related stuff regarding the car and such. Constantin figured out a simple tent structure using the trunk and it’s latch to keep it up, saving substantial amounts of assembly time and also allows for quick pull-away if need be, even if it would drag the sheet along the for the ride out back.

The Dione’s radio does not go off, as they turned off the ignition hours ago to save the battery from unnecessary strain. It may be near-new, but it’s a battery, not a nuclear power plant.


Not much happens until the departure is announced, at which point the team heads into the car, Tim driving his “new” purchase and Valentin next to him. Constantin, due to his mass is forced to shuffle over to the rear left, with Connor beside him, still working on the newly re-established arm and hand mobility.

The car effortlessly springs to life as Tim turns the ignition key to the “start” position, finding it’s idle soon after without aid from any of the complicated carb systems installed in there. Immediately, the occupants make an attempt at rolling down the windows, with mixed results. Tim rediscovers the power window switch being busted, with both Schrants rolling their respective windows down. Connor doesn’t seem to bothered by the heat, though some effect can be seen through a mildly heightened breath to aid cooling.

Once it is their turn, they drive into the Rift, taking in the strange visuals resulting from it. The cobblestone below them, while decidedly shitty by interstate standards as the width may suggest, is better than they expected. Still, barreling along doing 60mph across cobblestone roads ain’t comfortable. Both Valentin and Constantin take in the view in a state between confusion and awe, with Tim focused on not taking out the car ahead.

About two hours in, some cat-like thing jumps in through the offside rear window, scaring Constantin shitless in the process. It’s inertia and “braking distance” takes it over to Connor, who’s right arm is now more or less pegged inbetween the animals head and the nearside rear doorcard. The inertia imparted into the car makes it veer a bit to the left, but not dangerously so.

Constantin: “WHOAH!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?”
Valentin: [turning around, spotting the… thing in the process] “JESUS FUCK THERE’S A COUGAR IN HERE FUUUUUUCK!!”

The car is now wildly going across the road, basically tank-slapping arab-style across both lanes including the shoulders. It doesn’t take long for them to realize that their hitchhiker doesn’t really do much. Especially since Connor starts to instinctively pet the animal, calming it down instantly as he managed to hit that one sweet-spot right behind the left ear. It still takes quite a while for the shock of a what essentially is a massive house cat entering the car without any warning whatsoever.

Valentin: “I want that thing gone… get it away…”
Connor: “I am not sure as to what it is, but it seems harmless for the time being.”
Redwood: “Even i don’t have the balls to nonchalantly pet a mutant cougar without second thought…”
Constantin: “Neither of you don’t have the balls to pet a regular cat…”

Some banter about not having balls follows, the cat now fast asleep, purring away at Connor’s work petting the thing.

The remainder of the trip is rather uneventful, with the team slowly getting accustomed to a massive feline in the back row.


Upon reaching the other end, the world looked strangely familiar, albeit very historical. It felt like DnD had come to life and manifested itself in this here town. A rather pleasant trip through town coming and going, they end up on some grass field, along with all the other teams. They begin to set up camp, which takes all of like… 12 minutes or so, as half the team is to be sleeping within the car and one doesn’t need any campsite preparation to do so. Soon after, they get to preparing meals for the team.

to be continued

4 Likes

Team Shift Happens

Team Information

Previous Chapters:
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM
Boldly Going / Through the Rift / Arrival in Jaduvira - Stage 0
When the Hell are We!? - Stage 0 Campsite



The Camp outside Jaduvira

When the Magistrate nearly flattened the tent of Team Hillbilly Rollers, Kaylie shook her head. “Whoever’s behind the wheel needs to get their eyes checked,” she said. As Marie struggled with the downed tent, their cat leaped down to ‘play’ with the lump in the tent, only for Marie to fight back. The cat sprinted off, climbing up a tree and watching the team from a ‘safe’ distance while Marie exploded at Team Oil Crisis for their shit driving, complete with hurling tent pegs and then the tent at their wagon.

Rukari smiled as Janne offered the large plastic jug of Kilju to him. “Considering my brother has a few, how is it said again? ‘Skeletons in his closet?’ We will probably need this,” Rukari said, accepting the jug and tasting some of it. He tipped his head, a little puzzled at first, then said, “This reminds me of the time I made alcohol with pure sugar instead of using fruit. Still better than my first attempts with lemons, though.”

Kayden watched as Andreas managed to get the tent up with ease, then decided to do much the same with their five tents, with a bit more of a struggle. Likewise, Team RK Series Racing got their tent up in no time, leaving Kayden wondering how the hell both teams did it so fast. When he asked Malavera, the only response was a chuckle, followed by, “Clearly, you’ve never gone camping.”

Jayde, not being watched as closely by Kaylie, was investigating the supplies in the cab of the Bricksley. He found one of Rukari’s stashed cans of snus, recognized it as some form of tobacco, determined this type wasn’t meant for smoking, and tried some by rolling a bit around and stuffing it under his upper lip. Within a few minutes, he went from being tired to wide awake, full of energy, and, unfortunately, quite hungry. Luckily, Rukari was almost done with the stew, and Jayde got one of the first piping hot bowls of it.

Kivenaal set the empty purple-glass bottle back in the crate in the truck, wandered over to where Rukari was at with the food, and sat down, still looking amazingly sober for someone who had consumed as much 190-proof alcohol as he just had. With a bowl in hand, he ate quickly, trying to avoid thinking on the past.

Malavera noticed Jayde’s sudden surge of energy and tried to figure out what he’d gotten into. He, likewise, found the stashed cans of snus under the rear bench seat, opened one up, rolled some into a ball and placed it under one of his upper lips. Within a few minutes, however, it was obvious that it had a very different effect on the large Khalan as he slumped back in the rear bench seat. When he eventually realized he was hungry, Malavera got out of the truck, left the door wide open, stumbled and half-shuffled his way over to the campfire, and sat down with a weighty thud.

Rukari looked over as Malavera grabbed a bowl of stew, recognizing the look on his faces and trying not to laugh. “Someone has the munchies,” Rukari said.

“The sky is a lovely shade of teal,” Malavera mumbled, before reaching up as if he was trying to catch a firefly. “So many colorful fireflies, like little stars,” he added.

Kivenaal groaned. “Malavera, listen to me. Did you grab one of these cans?” Kivenaal asked, holding up his can of snus."

“Yes,” Malavera said, giving a loopy double smile.

“Shit,” Kivenaal said. “Great, we’ve got a completely stoned navigator now.”

Kayden sighed and removed the offending tobacco from Malavera’s left mouth with a grimace. “He’s going to be completely fucked up for the better part of 24 Earth hours,” Kayden said. “Keep him out of the alcohol, it’ll make this last longer for him.”

“What happened?” Kaylie asked.

“Malavera’s high on nicotine,” Kayden responded.

“Oh,” Kaylie said, giving a grimace.

“The moons are pie, the sky is green, I just got high with nicotine,” Malavera rhymed, chuckling afterward.

Rukari sighed. “Sorry that you have to see this, Janne,” Rukari said, watching as Malavera finished his bowl of stew and slumped backward in the grass.


(OOC: @Knugcab And so it has happened. And yes, this is a tame response because he only had a little bit of it. Otherwise he’d be completely screwed for a week.)

2 Likes

like the stoned navigator part a lot :smiley:
minor correction, though

there’s only one “tent”, which is little more than a tarp wedged into the Dione’s trunk lid, secured at the other end with two pegs. Constantin is effectively sleeping below the rear bumper with the foot-end of his bedroll thing

1 Like

Correction made. I’ll still call it a tent, but now there’s only one.

1 Like

Campsite One (Team Oil Crisis)

March 4th, 2022

Jaduvira, Vira Province, Crugandr.

Local time: 8:10 Sun Time

Weather: Hot, Humid and breezy (It was a very pleasant kind of hot that the cold had been swapped for)


Orlan had successfully managed to run over Hillbilly Rollers’ tent with the car. Naturally this sparked some disapproval from Aedan.

“Why did you do that? Do you realise you nearly hit someone?”

“Yes, I know. I misjudged how close we were ok?”

Aedan let out an exasperated sigh.

“I warned you not to drive and what did you do? You ignored me. And when you ignore me shit hits the fan like the that time on Satlon V when you decided to shoot the tank of liquid alkanite and collapsed the bridge.”

Meanwhile, Marie from Hillbilly Rollers was shouting at them angrily they heard something along the lines of ‘Did you guys get your driver’s licence in a box of cornflakes.’

“Why’s she so angry?”

“Because you nearly ran her over. Just ignore her and please park the car properly?”

A metallic clink resonated through out the cabin as Marie threw a metal tent peg that bounced off the rear wheel of the Magistrate. Then just as she threw the tent over the car, Orlan threw the car in reverse and backed up with such gusto that the 4.5L V8 spun the rear wheel facing the Hillbilly Rollers van, covering the tent that had fallen off the car with soil thrown up from the tire. Then, Orlan put the car back into drive and pulled up again this time about 5 feet away from where the tent was standing.

“Sorry you had to witness that guys but she’s got a point.” said Andreas.

“Tell that to Orlan over here, he drives like he’s shitfaced when he’s tired.”

Then after this small fiasco, the guys set up their sleeping arrangements.


To Be Continued (like always) @Knugcab

(OOC: The previous post takes place a few minutes after this one.)

3 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Stage 0) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen

This is reply to last part

We got to Crugandr

Post describing our Stage 0 standings was somewhat accurate
Its true that interior and dogs still smelled like piss and its hard to argue with some not properly latched stuff singing their song while going on cobblestone road.

This doesnt take away from fact that Mrdja was still able to listen to music and, seeing this might be amusing to rest, said music choice was done with CB radio turned on.
Everyone tuned to that channel was able to listen to said music and not much speak from the team.
Some swerwing and bumping was heard from other teams during the journey.

Camp was where things started to get weird, mainly bcos of six-legged cats that joined few other teams. We had seen few on our shuffling through both our car and camp and saw that hosts were (unsurprizingly) familiar with creatures.
Both dogs and Chicota are familiar with fighting against something of this size, so they were ready to defend our team from them, but two things have arisen as conclusion:

  • They never came close enough to be a threat

  • Cats had joined several teams as was already noted. Some of teams with this (mis)fortune are rather standard individuals and yet, no fight was ever seen
    TLDR: Seems these felines are friendly in nature and arent willing to hurt their “hosts”, who ever “hosts” would turn out to be.

(Note:
hosts is used for hosts of this adventure- Team Shift Happens
“hosts” are teams that got one of six-legged cats.
Besides Shift Happens, there are 6 other teams with this declaration.)

With this change noted, it was time to eat and sleep. Bike bed got new user, with bike being set on top of Pi, not that she ever complained about such situation.
Dogs had settled in cab and Chicota was positioned beside VerBanka on top of said cab, being closer to entrance in said space.

Last two werent willing to get to sleep just yet, choosing to discuss some stuff that may be an issue.

Namely, refreshing our food supplies and money usage
Thanks to the fact they can ask hosts whats humanly safe to eat and fact those can serve as convenient currency exchange point, there wasnt too much worrying.
And besides, it is possible to obtain the knowledge by picking safe-looking stuff and we have few skilled mechanics in team that could try to exchange services for local currency or goods, so relying on host team could be taken as point of last resort, although reliable one.

Still, although its perfectly fine to account for all possibilities, we dont need to worry about either of those things

yet

3 Likes

Team Shift Happens

Team Information

Previous Chapters:
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM
Boldly Going / Through the Rift / Arrival in Jaduvira - Stage 0
When the Hell are We!? - Stage 0 Campsite
Out of His Damn Mind - Stage 0 Campsite



(OOC Note: If anyone wants to put their post in a particular point in time, feel free. I’m only advancing the time because it’s relevant to my characters. If you would prefer to have an earlier moment with another team, please, do so. Likewise, if you want to have a later moment, please, do so. Remember that the nights run from 1 Moon to 10 Moon, and we’ll be up around 1 Sun for the next stage.)



5 Moon Local Time, Shitbox Rally Jaduvira Campground.

When everyone had gone to bed, tired from the days events, Kaylie had tried to get some sleep. But, with Jayde so close, she found it hard to sleep at all. She’d had more than her fair share of dreams in the past about a Leoni hero to sweep her off her feet and take her to bed, but never had the opportunity. Now she had all the opportunity, but she didn’t dare. It was one thing to do so in a dream, but Jayde was, for all intents and purposes, a complete stranger to her. So she laid there in the tent, not sleeping well at all. Sure, she’d get a few minutes here and there, always waking up the instant her dreams got intimate, the instant the Leoni’s face turned out to be Jayde’s.

With a sigh, she got out of their shared tent and stalked across the silent campground to the Bricksley. It was a luxury van, so surely the seats would make for a comfortable enough bed. She opened the driver’s door, turned the key on enough to have power, and rolled the rear windows down a few inches before turning the key back off. Closing the driver’s door quietly, Kaylie opened the driver’s side rear door, climbed up into the van, then closed the door.

Unfortunately, she closed it left handed, slamming the door rather loudly. With a grimace, she laid down across the rear bench, hoping that whoever heard the door slam wouldn’t figure out it was her fault.


Jayde, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep for much the same reason as Kaylie. Sure, he’d offered to share the tent with her because someone was going to end up sharing a tent, and he’d done so many times before with other people, but Kaylie was different. One, she was quite attractive, both in form and in personality, and two, she was the first who didn’t shy away from him when she saw his scars. Which, to be fair, was expected, considering she’d lost an arm to a mock battle, and he’d lost a leg and gotten a nasty scar on his face from an actual airship battle.

So, when she’d left the tent, Jayde knew immediately because he hadn’t been sleeping either. Faking it really good, perhaps, but wide awake, trying not to think of what could be, if only either one of them could find some courage and just ask. And, to be fair, they barely knew each other. Jayde recognized her name, but surely there were many tigers named Kaylie over the years. Queen Kaylie the Long-Sighted may have been an ancient queen who knew the future, but that didn’t make Kaylie Grayson the same Kaylie. With a sigh, he pulled out the ancient letter that had been left to him and read it again to himself.

11/13/120 AWM

Jayde Malradi,

Though we will never meet, know that you are not a forgotten hero, despite the amount of times you’ve relived bits of the past. You have another mission, one from me this time, a quest to guide and to guard a group of travelers. At 4:77 Sun on 18/7/3251 AWM, they will open a mirror to our world from theirs. Go through that mirror. Tell no one there of your mission. Join the team known as “Shift Happens” in this event of theirs, and protect all of the teams from harm. A great danger is waiting for them, a danger you have faced once before. A danger you must face again, to save them all from a grim fate.

A Friend in Time,

Queen Kaylie the Long-Sighted.

Jayde folded the letter back up and tucked it back into the pouch he’d been carrying it in, then laid back down with a sigh. This was going to be a long, long night.



2 Likes

Campsite One (Team Oil Crisis)

March 4th, 2022

Jaduvira, Vira Province, Crugandr.

Local time: 2 Moon Time

Weather: Warm and breezy.


The night was quiet, that was except for the crickets and the occasional steam train whistle in the distance. In side the Magistrate, saying it was cramped was an understatement, especially with three people sharing one bed in a car that still had yet to cool down. No one could fall asleep thanks to the immense heat inside the Magistrate and it didn’t help that the windows were rolled down.

“Aedan?” Orlan whispered, “Do you have any ideas on how to make it colder in here?”

“Other than dumping a bucket of ice cold water all over myself or putting ice down my shirt, its beyond me.”

“What are you two whispering about?” The dark mass that was Pavel, asked.

“Orlan is asking me for tips on how cool to himself down.”

“You cant lie when I say its unpleasant to sleep here.”

Aedan sighed exasperatedly

“Could we just get some rest without nitpicking or complaining?”

Sighing, Pavel rolled onto his back. “It is impossibly hot in here, obviously its not going to be easy.”

“What’s stopping you from turning the engine over, and waking up the whole camp? That’s the only way the A/C is going to help us.”

“Well that’s that then, we are helpless.”

“Why don’t you cry about it?”

“I didn’t think of that. So now I will.”

Orlan rolled over to face away from them and feigned a sob.

“You aren’t fooling anyone, Ori.”

“Where’s my cat?” asked Pavel.

“Sleeping in the tent with K and Mal.”

Without much else to worry about the three fell silent, Until Aedan got an ear draped over his face.

“Could you get your ear out of my face?”

Orlan obeyed without protest.

“Thank you.”

With that the three lombaxes fell silent and one by one, drifted off to sleep and let their dreams take hold.


To Be Continued (like always)

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