2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!)

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty

PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude

Janne felt a little bit relieved when Rukari accepted the kilju. Now he thought that when the team had gotten kilju from him, and snus from Andreas, they would have compensated for Marie’s thirst for moonshine. Though only a while later he saw that something strange happened to Malavera.

JANNE: “Oh… I really should have said this. It can strike pretty hard if it is the first time. I guess that Andreas never told that…”, he said with a bit of a shame in his voice. “…nah, if anyone should excuse himself, that’s me”.

He went back to the tent that Andreas had managed to put up.

JANNE: “I don’t want to sleep in a tent that you have put up. I only want to sleep in a tent that Marie have put up”, he said, just because he knew it would drive Andreas mad.
ANDREAS: “Well, I have a solution for you then! Wrap yourself in a piece of cloth and sleep under the Union Magistrate because it will literally be the same thing!”
MARIE: “How can their absolutely arse driving be MY fault?”
JANNE: “Oh, just relax, their driving will be put to the test soon I guess. Don’t think that this environments will be easy for the unexperienced driver. Good thing we have got Andreas.”
ANDREAS: “YEAH BECAUSE I HAVE CLEARLY BEEN DRIVING IN SOME KIND OF LSD TRIP MY WHOLE LIFE SO THIS WILL JUST BE THE SAME THING AS I AM FAMILIAR WITH, OH RIGHT?”
JANNE: “Take it easy, there is an explanation for everything in this case.”
MARIE: “At least it will be easy to sleep tonight.”
JANNE: “Why?”
MARIE: "Because not even my nightmares features this weird stuff.
ANDREAS: “Your nightmares? Can you have more than three different ones? Number one, someone stole your booze. Number two, someone peeled of the stickers hiding the rust holes on your goddamned Dodge Dart. Number three, someone has stolen the remote for your VCR…oh, nevermind. That one was actually real.”

(Marie slaps Andreas)

JANNE: "Well, it’s time to get boring and go to sleep anyway. Falling asleep at the wheel is a bad idea here…I can’t get into details, but it would be bad, really, really bad. We need to stay alert tomorrow.

TO BE CONTINUED…

(Not much of a writeup but I felt that it was needed to end stage 0 before the serious stuff starts)

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Shitbox Rally

Stage 1: Jaduvira to Viravalli


Stage Start: 1 Sun, 19/7/3251, Jaduvira Campsite

Weather at Stage Start: Warm and humid, though a good breeze keeps it from being uncomfortable.

Weather at mid-stage: Stifling heat and humidity with a lack of wind.

Weather at Stage End (First Car): Hot and humid, though the breeze has returned.

Weather at Stage End (Last Car): Hot and humid with a strong breeze.

Stage End (First Car): A little after 2-and-40 Sun, 19/7/3251, Viravalli Campsite

Stage End (Last Car): A little after 4-and-60 Sun, 19/7/3251, Viravalli Campsite


The road leading out of Jaduvira is smooth cobblestone and relatively wide, offering up a potential for high speeds provided you keep an eye out for dips, low-spots, and crooked sharp stones. On either side of the road after leaving Jaduvira properly, there’s a lot of forest. Those with keen eyes can see amber eyes watching you, low to the ground, but little else of the creature they belong to. There are a few hills, a few curves, but nothing too severe. Everyone has to dodge around a stagecoach approaching from Viravalli, and for a brief time, the road runs parallel to the tracks, leading to a race between some cars and a little blue 4-6-2 streamlined steam locomotive named “Teapot” and the train of 5 coaches behind it. Nearing Viravalli, there is a large dip that catches a lot of the faster drivers by surprise, leading to a challenge over the radio, “Can you get all four wheels in the air?” At the town of Viravalli, the houses are mostly made of wood with thatched rooftops, and the townsfolk would really prefer all of our crazy contraptions stayed out of their town. As a result, camp was done just off of the road, near the forest, on the other side of the Duskwater River.

Notes: Randomization is active. Breakdowns are active. Time is in Earth Time (mostly because I can’t make my spreadsheet operate in Aetheriian time… And I absolutely refuse to sit here and play “Convert the times to seconds, then break it back down into Aetheriian hours, minutes, and seconds.” That would be pure hell).


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:01:05
Average MPH: 88.4
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

Six people and a big cat in the Bricksley Highwayman makes for a cramped space, and it doesn’t help that our main navigator is stoned out of his mind, but, ironically we make excellent time partially because of him.


@Caligari

Team Wayfarers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:10:08
Average MPH: 68.72
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The IFAZ Bogatir roars along at a good pace and joins the race against Teapot. “Chernobog” has no trouble pulling a lead on the little steam locomotive before the train vanishes behind the trees.


@Executive

Team Gearknobs

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:13:47
Average MPH: 67.92
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The Hakaru Carica does its best in the race against Teapot, but is just a touch slower than the speeding steam locomotive. On the other hand, the little hatchback isn’t slow.


@BannedbyAndroid

Team Fallen Angels of the Past

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:29:06
Average MPH: 79.186
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The Claussient 25 may not be the fastest car overall, but when driven hard, remained quite controllable, allowing Maria and Lucia to run a surprisingly quick stage.


@interior

Team Slow

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:34:55
Average MPH: 77.52
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The Schnell XL53 isn’t letting this team live up to their team name on this stage. Other than a brief stop to refuel, the Schnell was pushed hard through this stage, and made good time.


@TheYugo45GV

Team Oil Crisis

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 03:53:56
Average MPH: 91.104
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

With speeds like that, no wonder they have an oil crisis! The Union Magistrate was one of the first cars flying over the surprise dip in the road, and were the ones who originated the challenge to get the wheels off the ground going over it. Even stopping twice for fuel didn’t slow them down.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:24:23
Average MPH: 65.7
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 4 (Team Caused Slowdown)
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

While we don’t know exactly what slowed down the IP Freeway Star, something certainly slowed them up a bit. Still, they made it into the campsite with plenty of time to spare, and a vehicle none-the-worse for the mishaps the team experienced.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team Witchlight

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:20:53
Average MPH: 81.692
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The EAAC Aphrodite speeds through this stage like a bolt of lightning, despite being the size of a small battleship.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 06:45:36
Average MPH: 52.544
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 3 (Tires)
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The Kontir Cunningham was quick, up until hitting a heavy bump blew out both rear tires, forcing the team to fix the problem on the side of the road.


@variationofvariables

Team Blazers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 03:48:38
Average MPH: 93.216
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The Yamada ASR-4 showed everyone today that it was meant to be a rally car. With Watson driving like they had warp-speed turned on, they were the second team to discover the dip near the end, and had all four wheels off of the ground for a brief moment.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passiones

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:12:54
Average MPH: 68.112
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 4
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

Despite an insane amount of refueling stops, the MCP AWSB managed to keep pace with Teapot, but couldn’t manage to pull ahead. At least it wasn’t falling behind, until the team had to stop and put more fuel in the tank.


@AndiD

Team Quick Rally 47 (Quantum Xenoanthropology)

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:08:58
Average MPH: 85.6
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

Everyone knew the Mara Kanyon was tough, but few knew it could be fast, too. Despite a punishing pace, the little SUV held up just fine, although the AI may not have enjoyed taking another impromptu flight over the dip.


@BG004130

Team Mrezhari

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:16:39
Average MPH: 83.04
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The Dunav 3300 handled the cobblestone road with no problems, and likewise joined the airtime club over the dip.


@NoahC

Team Jockey

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 04:17:07
Average MPH: 82.888
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

Getting air over the dip in a car the size of the Yinzer MightyTiny is definitely a way to get noticed. Managing to not smash anyone’s head through the roof of the little car was even more impressive.


@elizipeazie

Team RK Series Racing

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:08:51
Average MPH: 49.696
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

Electing to replace the broken headlight at the very start of the stage may have been an initial setback, but maybe, just maybe, it’ll pay off in the end.


@Tzuyu_main

Team Black Rabbit

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:09:33
Average MPH: 68.848
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The Dauer 632 S PANAM had no issues being faster than Teapot in a straight up race, and neatly dodged around the MCP AWSB when they stopped right in the middle of the road to refuel without any incident.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 03:28:41
Average MPH: 102.128
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 355.2

The first to enter the “All Wheels Off” Airtime Club over the dip (and even before it became a proper challenge), the AST Elbrus seemed to handle it well. Whatever brand of Soviet rocket-fuel the engine is running seems to be good for it.

(Author’s note: Yes, the car is running Low Quality fuel. However, Kerosene can be used with an oxidizer as rocket fuel, so the rocket joke can still work.)



Team Shift Happens

Previous Chapters:
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM
Boldly Going / Through the Rift / Arrival in Jaduvira - Stage 0
When the Hell are We!? - Stage 0 Campsite
Out of His Damn Mind - Stage 0 Campsite
One Hot Night / Letters from the Past - Stage 0 Campsite

Jaduvira Campsite, 1 Sun Local Time


Rukari watched as everyone finished packing their tents, shuffling cargo around, and stuffing the last bites of their breakfast into their mouths. Today was the day the Rally would start. With little ceremony, he dropped a double-charge of powder down into his murdaira, loaded the cork ball he’d made the day before, raised it to his shoulder and aimed it skyward, then fired it.

The deafening blast scared birds out of the trees, startled some of the teams, and, for those familiar with LeMans-style starts, set some teams running for their cars. Those who weren’t quite familiar saw people running to the cars and did much the same, cranking over engines and tearing their way out of the campsite. A lone cat jumped out of a tree and landed inside the van of Team Hillbilly Rollers, their teal and brown-striped cat returning at last and dropping a bird in Marie’s lap.

Kivenaal got into the driver’s seat of the Bricksley, groaning as Malavera was loaded next to him in the mid-bench and as Rukari got in next to Malavera. The rear bench, like it had been the day before, housed Kayden, Jayde, and Kaylie, as well as Jayde’s new cat, Shadow. The Bricksley rasped to life, Kivenaal twin-sticked the transmission from 1 through 5 in low, then popped the transfer case into high range and ran 3, 4, and 5 to get up to speed.


On The Road

“Mal, get your fucking foot off of my fucking throttle!” Kivenaal growled. This was the fourth time the stoned Khalan had stretched out in the seat and pinned the accelerator straight to the floor. The Bricksley’s all-terrain tires squealed around another bend as Kivenaal tried to keep the truck on the road, his hands holding a white-knuckle grip at 10, 8, 4, and 2 on the wheel as he weaved around a stagecoach and over a small hill. The mighty V8 snarled, rasped, and roared in response as the Highwayman screeched the tires in the swerve, the truck threatening to leave the road several times in a series of barely-recovered fishtails.

Malavera laughed as the Bricksley got a bit of air over a small bump, clearly not in his right mind as he looked around the cabin. Kivenaal had a snarl on his face as he fought with the big heavy truck at wide open throttle. Rukari was his usual calm, cool, and collected self, not showing any fear even when the truck went wide and sprayed dirt everywhere. Kaylie had the CB microphone in her right hand to keep it from leaving its perch and hitting anyone in the head. Kayden, for once, looked almost terrified. Jayde was clinging onto the front edge of the rear bench, looking as if he was regretting his decision to get swept up into this adventure. Shadow, Jayde’s new cat, was clinging to the floor with six paws worth of claws, occasionally looking toward the window on Kaylie’s side as if it might decide bailing out was the safer option.

Then, Team Oil Crisis hailed them on the CB. “Aedan here! Look out on your left!”

Kaylie watched as the Magistrate streaked past, then sailed over a not-exactly-small hill, V8 roaring in defiance of being flung into the air, mere moments before everything crashed back down to solid ground.

This was the only warning Kivenaal got, as soon after, they too hit the hill at way too high a rate of speed, were flung into the air as well with the Bricksley’s cast-iron boat-anchor screaming for mercy and backfiring twice, before they crashed down on the other side, catapulting the contents of the cabin into complete chaos.

Sure enough, the Bricksley had hit the mild jump and managed to get all four wheels off of the ground before it came back down. Malavera’s foot was jostled off of the gas pedal and Kivenaal wrestled control of the speeding ballistic Bricksley back from the brink of certain doom, tires wailing around a corner.

Then they heard the challenge from Team Oil Crisis over the radio. “There’s a dip in the road up ahead. How many of you think that you can get all four wheels off the ground?”

Kivenaal groaned as he realized just how many more vehicles might take the risk of some permanent suspension softening now that the challenge had been issued.

“These are meant to be ground vehicles, right?” Jayde asked Kaylie.

“Yeah, they are,” Kaylie answered.

“Then, please, for the love of the Dancing Sisters above, keep it on the ground!” Jayde said.

Kivenaal was glad when he was able to park the overheating Bricksley outside Viravalli, the clutch-driven engine fan outright roaring as it tried to pull the Bricksley’s engine down from 240 degrees Fahrenheit. He left the van idling for several long minutes as the engine tried to cool down in the searing heat of Crugandr’s midday sun.


Viravalli Campsite, 5 Sun

With tents, cars, and a campfire started in a small clearing across the road from the town of Viravalli, a clearing which made a lot of sense given the lumber mill near the river, slowly sawing its way through another large log, all of the teams got a chance to relax. It was the middle of the day, but everyone had just dealt with several long hours of driving. Of course, this really just meant that everyone in Team Shift Happens was in the mood to party.

Malavera was still a little impaired from his incident the day before, though was starting to show signs of recovering. Of course, his appetite was still just as strong as it was before, and so he ended up having two steaks seared in a pan over the campfire.

Kivenaal, likewise cooked up a thick slab of venison for himself, having gone into the town of Viravalli and bartered for it. Because of his looks (more specifically, who he looks like), the butcher gave Kivenaal quite the discount, which, ironically, annoyed Kivenaal quite a bit.

Rukari reheated what was left of last night’s stew, pouring a bowl for himself, Kayden, and Kaylie. Between the three of them, there wasn’t much left.

Jayde opened up one of his magic bags and pulled out a loaf of bread, which he cut into slices and used to clean up the last of Rukari’s stew. When he got stares from Kaylie and Kayden, trying to figure out how the bag held a loaf of fresh, still steaming bread that was easily twice as long as the bag itself, Jayde chuckled. “It’s a gift from my time at Kamwerth Academy of the Arcane,” he said. “Three times per day, I can pull a fresh loaf of bread out of that bag, so I’m never without food.”

“I can see how that would be handy,” Malavera said, now no longer as badly affected by the nicotine high. He knew he was going to have a hellish double-headache later after his encounter with the tobacco.

“Pair that with cheese and meat, you have instant sandwiches,” Kivenaal added, cutting a bite of meat and chewing it.

Jayde nodded. “It has its uses. It’s like my canteen that never runs out of water. Can’t pour it at any great speed, but I always have fresh drinking water.”

Kaylie looked over at Kivenaal and asked, “So, what’s with the sour look?”

“Someone recognized me as someone else,” Kivenaal replied, trying to dodge the question.

“Okay. Well, the humans often say everyone has a double,” Kayden said. “What, did that person owe money to someone, and they asked you to pay up?”

“No,” Kivenaal said.

“He looks like Xelth, the Father of Us All,” Rukari said.

Kivenaal immediately groaned, then said, “I hate when people say that.”

“But it is true,” Malavera replied. “Valraadi mythology says that Xelth looks a lot like you. Maybe a bit taller, but then again, sometimes stories are a bit exaggerated.”

“Can we please stop talking about this?” Kivenaal snapped. “I’m not a fucking symbol, I’m not a god, I’m just me. Quit putting me on a damn pedestal and expecting me to want to be worshiped, I don’t.”

Jayde chuckled. “Most people I know want to be heroes. You’re the first who I’ve seen who doesn’t want that kind of recognition,” he said.

Kivenaal turned to stare at Jayde before answering, “Because I hate what it represents, Jayde. I’m not Xelth reincarnated. I don’t have his great and mighty magical talents. I can do some impressive things with fire, and I can make water explode, but-”

“You have not been trained,” Rukari said, interrupting Kivenaal. “You might be stronger than you think,” he added, studying his brother for a moment. “And if you look far enough into our bloodline’s history, Kivenaal, Xelth was part of it. That it shows in you is something to be proud of.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard this speech before,” Kivenaal said, rolling his eyes. “I’m supposed to be the savior of our people, supposed to bring us back to the golden era. Supposed to fight in great battles and sire many sons and daughters, sit upon the throne in Galren’s Height and rule our people while claiming the title of Emperor. I don’t want any of that.” He finished his meal in silence, a stony cold response to being pushed too close to the memories of a past he desperately wished to forget. He got up, walked back to the truck, opened the jug of kilju and poured himself a heavy glass, drinking it quickly before giving a grimace. “Yeah, I bet I know where that came from,” he muttered to himself, putting the jug back in the truck. “Gets you drunk, not the best tasting.”

Kaylie looked over at Kivenaal, then back to the rest of the group at the table. “He’s got some demons in his past, doesn’t he?” she asked.

Jayde nodded. “Everyone does. But from what I’ve heard, his may be bigger than most.”



(OOC: And so it truly begins. I’m ready for some open RP in the camp. Let’s get a first stage party going!)

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Strong Language Warning, Read at your own risk.

Campsite One (Team Oil Crisis)

Jaduvira, Vira Province, Crugandr.

Local time: 10 Moon Time - 1 Sun Time

Weather: Warm and Humid

Packing Up


Aedan felt the cold creep through his fur, despite being huddled up between his brother and Pavel. The sun was almost there but the sky was growing more blue with every passing second. Neither Orlan or Pavel were stirring, the perfect time to start waking up the team.

A tap on Orlan’s shoulder began this charade. “Ori, Its time to wake up.”

The light brown lombax muttered something and didn’t make any attempt to wake up. Who knew that it would be this problematic to wake up a light sleeper. “C’mon, Wake up we’ve got to start packing up.”

This time Orlan formulated a full sentence. “Just give me a few more minutes, mom.” He sleepily muttered. Why did this have to be so hard?

“That’s it, I’m pulling out all the stops”

Orlan was jarred from his dream by a sharp jab in the ribs. The Culprit? Aedan.

“Ow! What the fuck was that for!?” He hissed.

“You weren’t waking up so I had to resort to drastic measures.”

“And you thought poking me in the ribs as hard as you could was the best course of action?”

Meanwhile, Pavel had begun waking up. The giant rolled onto his back and slowly opened his eyes. What was all this commotion?

“Are you two having a disagreement?”

Aedan shook his head.

“No. It’s that–.”

“This motherfucker poked me in the ribs really hard.”

“Ok, Ok, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, You’d better be.”

Within minutes the trio in the Magistrate had gotten out and begun to disassemble their sleeping arrangements. Pavel had woken up and was helping K’mino and Malcolm dismantle their tent. While Orlan and Aedan were putting the weapon crates back in the car. Soon the FN Herstal crate containing the FALs and the M92s had been put in the car, and the Walther crate on top of it. The luggage was then thrown in afterward followed by a tool chest, some ammo boxes, and the crate containing the super sensitive weapon that was loaded more carefully than the other stuff. By 10:45 moon time, the Magistrate had most of the large belongings, these being the weapon crates, the ammo boxes, luggage, the super “sensitive” weapon, Gunther, Pavel and the cat were loaded in the cargo area that was formerly a bed. The rear seats had been folded up and the air mattress deflated and stowed neatly in the overhead cargo net in the roof extension.

In the final 10 minutes, Aedan went around picking up all the smaller belongings like the camp stove and some of the lawn chairs and placed them in the back with Pavel and Gunther, and the cat whom Pavel had named Whiskers.

Soon the time came to get on the way, and when Rukari’s rifle produced a deafening kaboom, it sent all five Lombaxes running for the Magistrate. Well technically four since Pavel was still in the back petting Whiskers, who now didn’t seem to like being held against his will that much anymore.

Once the passenger side rear door slammed shut, Aedan put the key in the ignition and turned it to the ignition position. The only thing that happened was the starter motor began cranking but the engine didn’t turn over. Strange.

When the second attempt failed, Aedan slammed a fist into the steering wheel and cranked the starter motor again. The IP Van had peeled away, tossing dirt from the rear wheels. The Yamada across from them lurched forward and turned onto the road.

“Come on! Start you vicious bastard!” He shouted.

It was with this command that the car started, almost as though it had been listening. Aedan’s anger quickly became excitement, and he threw the Magistrate’s column shifter into drive and put the pedal to the floor, the Narrowblock shouting in protest as the rear wheels, or well one of the rear wheels, struggled for traction.

Finally, the Magistrate got on the cobblestone road, its tires giving a small screech as the wheel regained traction on the stone pavement. The road opened up ahead of the Magistrate, and all Aedan could do was put the hammer down.


On the Road


The olive drab and rust wagon roared across the road. Aedan and his teammates watched with mild concern as the Bricksley Highwayman veered across the road.

“You think one of em’s hammered?” Malcolm asked from the back seat.

“Sure looks like it, Their navigator, Malaver–, Male–,” He paused for a moment as he remembered the name. “Malavera, The wolf thing with two heads is higher than me when I eat a cannabis plant. Don’t think he’s driving though.”

K’mino piped up suddenly. “Hey! Watch the road!”

“Wha-- Oh, shit.” The Magistrate swerved around a stage coach, with Pavel, Whiskers, and Gunther flying all to one side.

“What in the hell are you doing up there? Can you drive less like the professional dumbasses in front of us? I highly suggest you try not to kill your emperor.”

“Sorry, Your Majesty.”

“You don’t have to be so formal. Its not like I’m the one who’s giving orders.”

Aedan rolled his eyes, and chuckled. “Fine.”

“Let’s try going around the Bricksley, safely. I’m not sure how safe it is to be back here with that craziness going on.” said Orlan.

Nodding, Aedan grabbed the CB radio’s microphone hanging out from where the original radio used to be.

“Yo, Truckers. It’s Aedan. Coming up on the left!”

The four speed ZAURTEK kicked down into first and the Narrowblock roared in spectacularly, calling every bit of power from its 4.5 litres.

The Bricksley streaked past as they over took it, the speedo just barely passing 70 miles an hour when the Magistrate hit a decent sized hill, the Narrowblock screaming in protest as the rear wheels lost traction once again. The two seconds in the air felt like ten, followed by a touchdown harsher than Ryanair landing, sending any loose items, Pavel, Whiskers, and Gunther included flying.

“Ow, Fuck! My back. My damn back! I ask you not to pull this kind of shit and what did you do? You do it again!.”

“Sorry, Pavel. But, there was a hill, and we were doing 75 miles an hour. There was no time to slow down and drive over the hill like a pensioner.”

“Go fuck yourself, You hear?”

“Stop being so bitter about my driving, you should be grilling Orlan, he nearly ran somebody over.”

Pavel only responded with a sigh.

“Anyway,” The CB radio was in Aedan’s hand again. “To all those a little bit behind, there’s a dip in the road just up ahead. Anyone want to try getting all four wheels off the ground?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Shut up, Ori. You ran nearly ran over Marie back in the other camp.”

That response was met with an eye-roll.


End of Stage one, Campsite (Team Oil Crisis)

Viravalli, Vira Province, Crugandr.

Local time: 3:30 Sun Time - 4:00 Sun Time / 4:00 Sun - 4:30 Sun

Weather: Warm and Humid with a breeze.


3:30 Sun - 3:40 Sun

All was well when the Magistrate had finally pulled into the camp. But like always, that was until Aedan almost ran over Marie from Hillbilly Rollers when he was reparking the Magistrate atop the hill nearby. Marie flipped them off and cursed in Swedish as they pulled away, though It was more her fault since she walked out in front of them without looking both ways.

“Does she have a death wish or something?”

Orlan shrugged.

“I don’t know, it does look that way.”


4:25 Sun Time - 5:00 Sun Time

The team had finally settled down atop a small plateau, The Magistrate lay dormant right where the incline up to the plateau was. At the bottom lined up on the left side where the Dione, Yamada, Dauer and Freewaystar .

“First stage done. Does anyone want a drink?”

The other four team mates cheered as Aedan reached inside the Magistrate and opened the lid to the under seat storage area. It was a feature Union motors introduced in the 70s for their Vanguard models it was extremely useful and spacious, especially on the Magistrate Vanguard, where it was deep enough to fit a decent sized cooler inside the compartment.

Aedan produced a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey from the cooler, and a package of plastic cups. Five were removed and the rest went back into the storage compartment. Soon the whiskey had been poured.

“It’s a beautiful day.”

The other four team mates looked up in the sky around them.

“Sure is,” K’mino said taking a sip from his whiskey. “It’s not like what we have on Fastoon though.”

Everyone muttered something along the lines of yeah.

Orlan had been rummaging through the under seat compartment looking for something before he turned around. “Who’s up for some Tomorrow Never Dies?”

Aedan twirled around upon hearing the name of their collective favourite action movie. “Hell yeah, we all are!”

“Just let me get the DVD player out.”

Soon the gang had gathered together inside the Magistrate and had begun watching the movie. Halfway through the BMW Chase, they stopped the movie and decided to go see what the other teams were up to now that most of them had arrived. Soon, Orlan decided that he should go off into the woods towards the river to explore, despite that Aedan had warned him that there was a fast flowing river nearby. If he drowned or was lost, that was on him.

Meanwhile, Orlan was stumbling through the bushes when he heard the river and voices coming from nearby.

Hopefully his presence didn’t interrupt anyone…


To Be Continued (As Always) (Side note: This will continue in an interaction with @variationofvariables’s characters.)

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Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Stage 1) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen

This is response to last part

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Firing up the engine for first leg of journey was very exciting experience, it was done relatively quickly and hopes were (somewhat) high.
With Chicota taking care of driving we sure would show good performance.

At first it seemed like it, since this underpowered truck would manage to hit 135 kmph (83.9 mph) at places, impressive considering its not made to handle that well and has 156hp moving over 2600 kg, passengers/us included.
At least we enjoyed the breeze caused by our fast movement and that makes this hot humid day bearable…up until the point where there was loud thud from back.
Or rather, two thuds, followed by quite some spinning and going almost off the road.

Quick and sudden switch to reverse had made us leave the road completely, if a tad bit too close to few trees in surrounding forest.

Chicota recalled hitting some nasty bumps with rears few kilometers ago at great speeds, prob bcos of going around that carriage we saw there.
Since he havent exactly slowed down and was sliding the vehicle few times, wasnt hard to figure out how and why rear tires had failed, not to mention they seemed to be in their last legs anyway.

We should be quick to return to running, right?
I mean we have two spare wheels avaiable and they were indeed quickly prepared for getting into place.
As always in situations such as this, we blame Pi and her drive to be useful, particularly as sorta jack.
This meant, unfortunately, further glide into forest until we found somewhat of a natural ramp so Pi can get kinda under the vehicle.
Needless to say, this went well, as in Pi did get under the rear end of car and rear wheels were indeed off the ground, so Klimentol and Aydar had adequate circumstances for replacing the wheels.

Moving Pi from under the car did required some heavy lifting from Aydar afterwards.
You know, Aydar AKA the member who should have done holding rear end in air in first place.
We could have employed actual jack but, ya know, we would then need to get properly hard surface below it.
Road itself was out of question as hard surface, since few competitors had zoomed past with great speeds.
Since i was trying to get some breeze by driving a bike on side of road, i was one acknowledging their zoom via immense fear for my life, which meant another vehicle of ours ending up of the road and in forest (afaik bicycles are also considered vehicles).
Happily, this one happens to not weigh touch bit over 2100 kgs and can literally be powered by one regular, if a tad lardy, human such as myself.

Pi is stubborn individual…and very physically broken after holding rear end of heavy car with her back.
If she havent hurt herself while holding the car, she would definitely do so assisting said vehicle exiting the forest by trying to tow it, although once again not much was actually contributed.
It did happened few times that car would roll back, pulling Pi back as well.
Pi’s genius idea of using herself as anchor behind a tree wasnt contributing either to her own health or movement of car back towards a road.

After Pi had assumed her position in cab (yes, somehow she was still able to kinda move) we continued, spending lot of time on this simple thing.
We are not sure as to how we will repair those rear tires, but they are replaced so we are (probably) good - same concern goes for certain four-legged member.
Me and VerBanka decided to ride on bike bed for remaining of trip to allow hurt Pi as much space as possible, bike being on Pi’s bed instead.

Ok ok, we partially opted to take bike bed bcos she started to smell very similarly to certain dark red liquid, which was too much for VerBanka’s nose and i opted to join her bcos i like to spend time with her.
And yes, Pi will likely stay lying on rear bench since thats where her presense would be of least issue for others until Klimentol and Aydar decide to fix her up and transport her to her bed, where there is more space for operation.

This time it was natural breeze that made living bearable as we joined the camp.
Happenings of camp will be left for other time

2 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty**
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude

PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!

It was now very near the time of the race start, but our team woke up in the tent, at least 66% of it.

JANNE: “Marie, wake up!”
MARIE: “…hyyyuuuurrrrgggghhhh…”
JANNE: “MARIE, NOT NOW!”
ANDREAS: "The damn race start is in a couple of minutes and we are not going to miss this just because you were stupid enough to drink out of a jerry can yesterday!
MARIE: “…hyyuuuuurrrggghhhh…”
JANNE: “We don’t have the time for this. Come, help me put her into the van!”

Janne and Andreas managed to get Marie into the middle of the bench seat in the van, where she managed to fall asleep against the dashboard, more precisely against the button for the dixie horn which seemed to scare the crap out of a couple of the members of theam Mrezhari when it went off.

MARIE: “UUUUUHHHH what’s that noise, I can’t sleep.”
ANDREAS: “YOU SHOULD NOT SLEEP NOW, YOU FAT WRECK! Turn off the damn dixie horn before I go insane!”
MARIE: “It already sounds like if you are insane, TBH”

After switching the dixie horn off, Andreas and Janne managed to take down the tent and put it back in the rear of the van, when they got back in the van it was quite cramped in the cab, though, with the cat from yesterday occupying the centre position along with Marie.

ANDREAS: “That beast is leaving the van, now!”
MARIE: “Naaaw, little kitty ain’t going anywhere. He is cute.”
ANDREAS: “Cute? For fucks sake, that beast has six legs and is the same size as a goddamned pitbull.”
JANNE: “Yeah, about as cute as Marie. Now, will you or I try to chase this beast out of the van…”

Janne and Andreas was looking at the cat for a while before making the decision that it was not worth fighting and being shredded to pieces, and let the cat stay in the van. Actually the race start went kind of well, even if a kind of banzai start threw some mud at the Union Magistrate that seemed to have trouble with the starter. However, Andreas saw in the mirror that the Magistrate finally seemed to get along, so there was no point in turning around and offering them any help. After a while, Marie was starting to wake up, too.

MARIE: “Uhhh…who farted?”
JANNE, ANDREAS: “Not me!”
MARIE: “Oh, crap…”
JANNE: “Hey, it really stinks in here!”
MARIE: "Uhhh…I think nobody have learned our little friend about cat litter!
ANDREAS: “Well, we need to stop for refuelling soon, I guess we can try to wash your clothes then…sigh…why do you always cause some kind of trouble, Marie?”

The team stopped for refuelling, and while Janne tried to wipe off the cat feces from Marie’s clothes with some washer fluid, Andreas chased away the cat to the woods with the axe that was stored in the back of the van.

MARIE: “Poor kitty…”
ANDREAS: “Don’t say another word!”

Despite the fuel stop, it seemed like the team was still far ahead in the pack, but the troubles were far from over.

ANDREAS: “IT STILL STINKS!”
MARIE: “Can’t we stay in some town and buy some little tree air freshners?”
JANNE: “Do you really think that little trees are sold here?”
MARIE: “Uhm…yes?”
JANNE: “It really wasn’t a question, just so you know.”
ANDREAS: “I CAN’T STAND THIS SMELL! We need to stop and take some air before I throw up. Sigh. Will it be like this for the whole race?”

Standing at the side of the road, multiple teams were starting to pass the van, happily waving at our team.

ANDREAS: “This is humiliating”
JANNE: "Hey, look at these bushes growing at the other side of the ditch!

The team had found some small, evergreen bushes that did not look much for the world, actually they were rather ugly, but the scent…oh, the beautiful scent of them.

MARIE: “How is this possible, they smell as good as little tree air fresheners, and yet, they are just…NATURE?”
JANNE: “I’ll cut some branches and put them on the dashboard, that might tone down the smell of cat feces a bit.”

It turned out that the small branches actually completely took away the smell of cat feces, actually the van had a wonderful smell on the inside now. The bad mood from earlier went away, fact is that every team member was rather happy now.

JANNE: “Could you turn on some music, Marie?”
MARIE: (laughing) “Yeah, that will be just cool.”

JANNE: “HAHAHAHA, BIRD… IS THE WORD!”
ANDREAS: “Ohhh…how cool… do you know that…the bird is the word”
MARIE: “Ohhh…yes and…everybody is talking about the bird…”
JANNE: “Because the bird is the word! Ohh…this is so clever, let’s put this track on repeat!”

Now the van was driving at a rather slow pace, and most of the few teams that still was behind started to pass the van now. When Team Machinas con passiones passed, the discussion started.

ANDREAS: “Look…at the lunatics. Why, just why?”
JANNE: “Why are they driving so fast?”
ANDREAS: “This pace is just…cooooool!”
MARIE: “They probably just don’t know that…the bird is the word.”
JANNE: “And why is the maniac in that steam locomotive driving so fast?”
ANDREAS: “He has never heard that the bird is the word. Ohhh, did I tell you how beautiful it smells in the van now?”
JANNE: “Yeah a good thing we found those bushes.”
MARIE: “HAHAHAHAHA BUSHES!”

A while later our team came to a dip in the road. They stopped and enjoyed the beautiful sight of the dip in the road for a while, drove it over at walking speed and kept driving towards the camp, finally parking near Team Shift Happens. When they opened the doors of the van, a scent probably familiar to Shift Happens was spreading towards them, as well as The Trashmen on full volume that nearly caused a meltdown of the 15 year old stock speakers in the van.

JANNE: “HEY, MALAVERA, YOU KNOW WHAT? THE BIRD IS THE WORD!”
ANDREAS: “Yeah, how clever! Jayde, they have found out that the bird is the word!”
MARIE: “Kayden, it might actually be hard to believe but the bird is the word!”
JANNE: “How did you get here so early? You must have been driving like complete maniacs!”

TO BE CONTINUED

@BG004130 @TheYugo45GV @SurrealCereal @Madrias

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Team Shift Happens

Previous Chapters:
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM
Boldly Going / Through the Rift / Arrival in Jaduvira - Stage 0
When the Hell are We!? - Stage 0 Campsite
Out of His Damn Mind - Stage 0 Campsite
One Hot Night / Letters from the Past - Stage 0 Campsite
Over the Hill and Through the Woods - Stage 1


Viravalli Campsite

Malavera looked back as Janne shouted at him that “the bird is the word,” then sighed. He had a mighty headache starting to brew in both heads, and shouting was the last thing he needed.

Likewise, Jayde and Kayden exchanged a look of confusion at the strange phrase.

When Janne asked how they got to camp so quickly, and said they were driving like complete maniacs, Kivenaal pointed to Malavera. “We got here so quickly because this big fucker in the van put his foot on my gas pedal and pinned it straight to the floor. It’s not easy keeping a van under control when all you can do is steer, because the brakes are shit and stomping on the clutch is just going to blow the engine apart,” Kivenaal said.

Meanwhile, Jayde caught a whiff of something oddly familiar, shaking his head and groaning. He rummaged through a large bag at his left hip, eventually pulling out a book on medicinal plants, flipping through the pages, and stopping on a well-drawn picture of the same bush they’d encountered. “This is a Mercy bush,” Jayde said, holding the book out for the three of them to see it. “Did you three eat any of the little quill-like leaves?”

Marie shook her head. “No, but it smells good! It’s edible? We brought some with us! Can I go eat it now?”

Jayde groaned. “I know how you feel right now. When I lost my leg, I was eating the quills of a Mercy bush for weeks. Even the smell can have an effect on some people. No, don’t eat the bushes, Marie.” He walked over and grabbed the branches off of the Freeway Star’s dashboard and promptly placed them far away from the camp. “Don’t put them back in the van, please. They smell nice, sure, but they’re a very powerful medicine. Someone could eat those and not care if someone takes off their leg.”

When he got a whiff of their van after removing the offending plants, however, he realized why they’d done it and cast a basic cleaning spell over the interior. Not just did the cat shit smell vanish, several other rank odors vanished as well, and the seat lightened up a few shades. He put his book back in his bag, rummaged around a little longer, and pulled out a small clump of dark blue pine needles tied together with yarn. “These are safe, they’re just pine needles from the Rift. A good strong scent, but not an unpleasant one,” he said, hanging the bundle from the van’s rear view mirror. “I use several of them to keep my bag of holding from starting to smell.”


(@Knugcab I hope I got Marie’s character right here. Also, I hope the new air freshener works well for your team, and that they appreciate the small amount of cleaning Jayde managed to do.)

3 Likes

Team Slow
Chapter 2 (Follow-up of Part 1 post), Part 2, Are we there yet?
Our Earth made cars feel like things of the Dinosaur era in this planet, where everything is ascending past current innovational limits

After the painful cobble roads, which was well rectified in a luxury car, as per travelling for 355.2mi (or km), We only had to stop once, in-spite of German cars being known to be unreliable, the XL53 was going hard through the non-Earth terrain, Could it be as reliable as a SUV? Who knows.

Tonight on this episode of Slow Machines, totally not slow.
Our all-terrains start disintegrating as they are 10 years old and pulled out of some junkyard, How did they not break apart? Good question.

John cleans the injector system during the stop to improve longevity of the car, and puts it back together, and does a oil change.

Matt comes back from the grocers in his newly acquired e-scooter to get food for the team, and the car with music playing from outside the scooter and it goes off after the scooter is off.

The scooter, despite being bought off an Crugandan?? (clarification needed) marketplace for 350 Crugandr Money

M: Damn, it really is cold here, but this scooter, it is quite fast, don’t you think?

J: Why the fuck did you buy a scooter? After Matt looks at him dead in the eyes that he really did buy a scooter

M: So i could do short distances, no?

J: Where are you gonna recharge your scooter?

M: The power grid in the camps. As much as i do use the power grid for my crypto mines back home. I could afford this bill

J: Your crypto mine broke

M: Oh, Matt goes and throws away a bit of trunk carpeting for weight reduction

TO BE CONTINUED.

(OOC, just a few clarifications. Crugandr is in the steam era. We are far more advanced than they are. Think American Wild West or Gold Rush era. So, if they bought anything off of a Crugandrian, it might have two wheels and be propelled by foot, or if a local tinker got creative, a miniaturized steam engine, but not electrical power. And 350 silver Syrkals (their coin of the realm) is expensive for a push-scooter, but cheap for anything powered. And, as for the weather, Crugandr is tropical. As in, rain-forest hot.)

2 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Stage 1) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen

This is reply to last part.

Swimming time

Considering the situation related to us being slow on first stage, its clear that morale wasnt particularly high when we arrived in next camp place.

There was this breeze that helped handling hot humid weather…wait, is that some water nearby? In which you could swim?
Hmm, tempting solution and i do happen to enjoy swimming.
Ofc it should be noted that i dont exactly have experience swimming in rivers, but we can ask one of Mravolinski chaps to join and potentially assist in returning to shore.
“We” was used bcos VerBanka would be more than happy to freshen up herself a little.
We did brought swimwear on journey bcos…reasons.
Hers would be two-piece one, while i have swimming trunks in black.

Not surprizingly, Klimentol and Aydar decided to accompany us there, so they could remove piss they inflicted on each other back in Nevada once and for all.
And yes, these guys dont require swimwear of any sorts.

Remaining duo are Chicota and Pi, who had observed some other parts of their surroundings and came to conclusion some town is near, so they decided to head there and see if they can find something interesting…which would be done by car.
And yes, Pi was still not repaired/healed from on-stage shenanigans, but noone seemed to mind too much.

We had bit of lunch of sorts and then two of us changed into swimwear, made sure dogs are waiting for us and went for it.
I noted to VerBanka that we dont exactly know how long would those town-going folks need, so suggested that staying in water is probably best possible option for now.
Ofc, its not like i have any trouble with staying in water and swimming for hours, also have nice company while doing so in this case.

As for our duo that went to town, they decided to see if they can renew food and water supplies, but also…yes you guessed it…Chicota saw this as chance to maybe get some local alcohol.
Earlier part noted that paying for stuff is something worth mentioning and here it would come useful that convo Chicota and VerBanka had first night in Crugandr.
Both Chicota and Pi could carry stuff, and Chicota is even capable of fixing it, so thats what they have been doing in exchange for goods of town.
Tbf he did needed to fix Pi a couple of times, but she was holding up somehow with this physical stress on top of her far-from-perfect condition.
This ofc had lasted for hours, no matter if Aetherii or Earth ones, but they achieved success.

Their intended return would introduce yet another interesting twist of fate, happily affecting only one of them.
Less happily, it was caused by Pi’s lack of thought - she wanted to show Chicota she can still jump even tho heavily worn out.
He was convinced when neither of her legs were below certain height from ground for…however long time one spends in mid-air during jump.
She wanted to prove herself further by running alongside Chicota and truck on way back, which went well until some local from opposite direction decided to yeet it down the road.
She jumped on side of road which…havent existed at that point of road.

“Hmm maybe this water wasnt as close to road as i thought” were thoughts on her getting closer and closer to said water.
“Atleast its prob not that deep, i could stand above surface” disproven again when she actually hit, and went deep under the surface of the water. This was surprisingly much more painful than she thought.
But another thing would come to her mind.
“I dont know swimming.”

Chicota saw that something happened, but waited to cross entire bridge to check, to not cause traffic jam on unknown territorry. He did quickly pieced what happened.
He saw that certain swimmer might appreciate having car avaiable again, so he continued to camp, seeing that Pi might be extracted when he gets there.
There wasnt much to say when Aydar and VerBanka decided to approach the car, since she decided its enough swimming for today.
“Pi had fallen from bridge. She is now in river. Two of us would now go to extract her.”
Aydar: “Hrmph, oh well…Lets see in what condition is she now.”
VerBanka was in camper part of vehicle when she heard these two getting back to car, starting it and going.
“Seems we are going to that bridge from which she had fallen”
then, while vehicle was still moving, Aydar had jumped through open door into river.
His fall was dampered by his pissjet of sorts, so he havent hurt anything himself.

There was lot of guesstimating on his side, but eventually, Aydar had found Pi.
She was calmly accepting this whole drowning thing - not much breathing or movement was done as result.
Interestingly enough, that was actually good thing: she did inhaled some water but was alive, if a tad bit more broken than before. Being calm through the ordeal did help.

Aydar had towed her to shore near the camp, then she was finally put in her bed, ready for fixup about a day overdue.
Chicota decided to join me in water, while doctors decided to take short nap, after which them too would be ready.

Pi went through lot of stuff, and these two had generally tried to take Pi back to some workable condition.
This was possible by supplies we got back in Nevada and she was kinda healed.

Few hours later, she would also get in water to about depth of her upper stomach, appreciating coolness that water brings, but no swimming.
We would then see what was brought and had nice dinner.
Doctors decided that Chicota is gonna drive tommorrow, so they werent too concerned about their own tiredness and were running further checks on both car and its most trouble-prone participant.
“We advise you to let the body heal. Dont worry, you still can do some small stuff…hmm…you are free to hang around camp, see what others are up to…if they need some help with something, feel free to notify us.”
-Btw, we should find a way to repair these tires. Two of us havent solved it and i feel we might need that in later part of journey-
“We are aware, Pi. Way will be found.”

Pi decided that sleep is best way to handle this new situation, so there we are, mostly snoozing.

2 Likes


are you surprised still? COVER ME WITH KISSES BABY COVER ME WITH LOVE ROLL ME IN DESIGNER SHEETS I'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH EMOTIONS CALL I DON'T KNOW WHY COVERS UP LOVE'S ALIBI CALL ME ON THE LINE CALL ME, CALL ME ANY, ANYTIME CALL ME I'LL ARRIVE WHEN YOU'RE READY WE CAN SHARE THE WINE CALL ME

TEAM BLAZERS


PART ONE

On this early morning, Watson had woken up with an annoyance quite visible on his face, the annoyance still there as he began packing up the tent and stuffing them into the back of the small automobile. He hadn’t gotten as good of a sleep as he could’ve as for whatever reason, in the middle of the night he’d began hearing voices, and also gotten bumped whilst in the middle of his important dream, whatever that may have been. He looked over to Romulo, leaning over the hood of the red crossover. He seemed as though he was in not the best of spirits, like someone who’d returned home from a party after drinking too much alcohol. Watson walked over towards Romulo, giving him a good pat on the back which was enough to knock his arms out and cause his face to slam right into the dust-caked fender of the vehicle, leaving a near-perfect impression of his face.

“Watson, you infantile-! What the fuck was that for, you idiot?” He shot him a menacing glare, but Watson was unphased, for he too was in a terrible mood and was not in the right state of mind to be dealing with someone else’s problem. Charlotte looked up from the table she was sitting upon as she heard the bang of someone’s face flopping right onto dusty piece of metal. “What are you two doing…?”

“Checking up on one another.” Watson sneered as he walked over towards Charlotte. “You got the route planned out yet?”

“Pretty much. Should be mostly cobblestone roads, no gravel paths much I believe. It’ll be bumpy and a bit slippery but I think the car will handle it.” She clicked the pen in her right hand and placed it back into her stationery case before finally gathering the papers she was writing on, which included smaller local maps with extraordinarily detailed notes of the speed that should be taken on the run. “I don’t think I’ll be able to pull off these notes again, takes too much brainpower even though it should, in theory, be quite effective.”

“These are, what I believe you called pacenotes, right?” He took one of the papers, examining them carefully. With the rudimentary explanations Charlotte had given him earlier, he was just barely able to make a gist out of what was written on them. Though he’d need a few more minutes of studying to get things properly understood. Charlotte nodded at him in affirmative as she began packing up her apparatuses. She plopped them into the driver’s seat before packing the table back up and shoving it into the vehicle’s back where the table was supposed to be, beneath the piles of other equipment they had to lug around. “Sure is handy having a built-in table…” Charlotte shut the vehicle’s tailgate as she looked over at Romulo, who looked like he was still in great pain. She walked up to him and placed the back of her hand over his forehead, before finally slapping him square in the face in a small cloud of dust.

“Son of a-! You too?!” Romulo angrily exclaimed.

“Can you even drive in the condition you’re in? Stop insisting, you’re gonna get us in an accident if you actually try.” She asserted. “Seriously, you’ve already eaten breakfast and yet you’re still in a very undesirable mood.”

Romulo rested his arm on the Yamada’s fender, and looked over at Watson, who was putting away the fire and preparing to get going. He sighed and called out to him. “Y’know what, Watson… Just take the wheel. I don’t know what you’re capable of, but I guess if we want to get this show on the road… Might as well…”

Upon hearing this, it seemed Watson had a pretty positive change of attitude, although he still seemed rather annoyed at a certain cat fucker. He glared at Romulo for a moment as the taller man waddled his way into the backseat, assisted by Emily. This annoyance would later fade away once he climbed into the cockpit of the vehicle, however. Whilst at first things seemed rather alien to him, he was immediately able to recognize the basic controls. First the steering wheel, then the pedals, and the gear lever. Things slowly returned to him and he began to feel a moment of bliss as he continued scanning the interior. The gauges which displayed the engine’s velocity, fuel levels, temperatures, and the vehicles speed. But though things had began to click, there was still one thing missing as he gripped the steering wheel firmly.

“Don’t forget to start the car…” Romulo snickered as he dangled the vehicle’s keys towards Watson. He took them from his hand and looked at it for a moment before scanning the area around the dashboard. He noticed the keyhole beneath the steering column, and placed the key into what he presumed was the activation hole for the automobile. Before anything, he wiggled the vehicle’s gear selector around first, ensuring that it was in neutral, before finally he placed the key in which started a beeping sound in the cabin, but as he twisted the key until he felt a resistance in his fingers, the beeping stopped and suddenly a noise of whining came from the engine in front of him, which gave way to a loud and spirited roar all around as the vehicle’s exhaust began to sing its four cylinder harmony a close to a thousand times a minute as the engine combusted the fuel. The vehicle’s dashboard lighted up, displaying various amounts of extra information that wasn’t visible when the car was shut off. A small grin lit up on Watson’s face as he felt the car roar into life, and now he was ready. He pulled the door shut and began his own checklist on the vehicle, first scanning the fuel levels, which was pretty much near full. Looking over to the temperature gauge, or what he assumed was the temperature gauge, he found the engine running nominally at a desired temperature. He gave a light press on the gas pedal, and the engine’s pitched changed as the needle rose on the tachometer.

“Ready?” Charlotte smiled at him enthusiastically. The first proper stage of the rally was about to begin, and Watson was at the helm of the vehicle that would hopefully guide this team to their own victory. Out in the distance, a loud firing noise was heard, and Watson saw the tall tiger-skinned being with his weapon pointed to the sky, momentarily catching eye contact with him. That had managed to signal to him that the time was now, and he pressed his foot hard onto the throttle, letting the old but capable four-cylinder maw down on its fuel and sing free into the higher rev range, before clutching into first and releasing the brake. A cloud of gravel flung behind the vehicle’s tyres as it kicked the ground beneath it up into the air around, and the red crossover propelled itself forward with the sheer force of the micro explosions going off thousands of times a minute within its iron-cast heart. Watson felt the communication between him and the car as he slid out from the campsite. Shifting the wheel slightly, he felt the feedback from the wheels reach through to his palms, and right back towards his soul as he felt himself bind with the vehicle. Every small input did something significant, from the slight variations in throttle pressure, to the way he turned the wheel around the short bend. Now a short distance away from the camp, he felt ready to be engaged in a dance with this vehicle, to be engaged with motorsport again, which he’d once lost the connection with.

Charlotte opened the glovebox, revealing a couple of old CDs. She took one of them, a compilation album from the hit rock band Blondie, and placed the disc into the archaic entertainment system on the car’s dashboard. With a subtle whirring noise drowned out by the constant clanking of the stones and debris on the vehicle’s underbody, the small screen flashed to display the first track, and the speakers began to play a sound very much foreign to Watson. “Well then, I guess we’re going to have to settle with this. This music’s likely a bit too new for you, Watson, but I assure you, your kids are going to love it! This shouldn’t be too distracting.” She adjusted the volume of the car’s speakers as she shuffled her papers around, and began to prepare for the stage ahead as the car flew itself over the cobblestone roads.

Charlotte began calling out her pacenotes as the vehicle crossed her marked start. Almost immediately, they were in sync, not only to the cadence of the 1970s-era rock music on the radio, but to everything around them as the red SUV flew through the roads kicking up small pebbles off the slippery stone. Watson was feeling it, as he looked out and saw the trees fly past the windscreen, feeling the car in sync as it navigated its way through sweeping bends and sharp turns. Everything felt perfect in this moment as the vehicle angled its tyres just right through the corners, slipping at the perfect angle to enter the bends at the ample amount of speed. Despite the vehicle’s heavy body, it felt as though the agility was unmatched with Watson behind the wheel as the large tyres squealed for grip. Eventually they had reached a long enough straightaway which marked the end of the first part of Charlotte’s notes.

“Sector end, we can relax a bit here for a few minutes.” Charlotte said as the vehicle came to a cruise on the long straight. “That was some brilliant driving out there! Never thought you’d be the type to be able to take a car that hard!”

Watson let out a small laugh. “Oh, you jest. I feel as though I could have done better, but indeed that was quite an experience.”

“Alrighty, Detective, spill the beans, how long have you been driving?”

“Well, I believe the first time I raced was… Mille Miglia? Not too long ago.”

“Wait, that Mille Miglia?!” Charlotte exclaimed in shock, before eventually remembering that Watson was indeed from the 1930s in the human world, so it wouldn’t be too far fetched. “What position did you come in?”

“I managed to lead the pack for the first few hours, but engine unreliability issues eventually led to us dropping out of the race.” He reminisced. “I enjoyed it quite thoroughly. I hope the engine of this car survives this one.”

“I-I see…” Charlotte’s voice trailed off. She remembered the thing about rallying, there was no guarantees on everything. From her understanding of Earth motorsports history, even the greatest of endurance legends could succumb to an unforeseen failure, like those of the Group B rally cars of the 1980s, or the innovative American entries into the 24 hours of Le Mans during the 1950s. Endurance racing is a gamble, and she was very much well aware of it now.

“Bend’s coming up, you got those notes ready?” Watson said as he began to see the road start to curve ahead, the trees coming ever closer and closer as the vehicle neared the bend. Charlotte went back into reorganizing her notes and quickly, she continued to dictate the turns and angles to Watson, to which he’d respond with the maneuvering of the vehicle through the forest bends to the tune of her loud announcements and the beat of the rock music as they sounded their way around with the rowdy two-litre engine exclaiming its announcements of roars echoing through the depth of the alien (To everyone except Charlotte) forest. The exhaust crackled and popped as the engine speed fluctuated atop the rev range, and the steering shuffled the tyres about the road. It was all so perfect as it was, and Watson felt unstoppable.

For the hours, the occupants of the vehicle surprisingly hadn’t found the ride to be too uncomfortable, with Watson’s smooth footwork and handling of the steering wheel all combining in a perfect harmony of speed and elegance. As Charlotte glanced over to the man in the driver’s seat next to him, her vision of him changed slightly, from a mysterious detective to something seemingly much more. To her, his facial features seemed to exaggerate that of a true racing driver as he gripped the wheel and shifted through the gears, it was a mesmerizing view of what she could only describe as the idea form of what a pilot could be, from the subtle movement of his head, to the rapid shifting of his eyes as he scanned the road foe obstacles, to her, nothing could compare to the view that she was witnessing as of this moment. The subliminal visage of a beyond human form taking the wheel of and becoming one with a mechanical four-wheeled beast. She now wondered about the bust of those legendary racing drivers in history, who have brought many racing teams to their victories, Formula One, the World Rally Championship, the World Endurance Championship, and many others. Did the face and form of those legendary drivers match what she witnessed right now? Were they as engaged with their machine as Watson was? She could only ponder at the sheer legend of these drivers in history, and indeed now she had a full view of the true beauty within Motorsport, when the driver and the vehicle came as one. She stopped her pacenotes, and yet Watson did not flinch. He only continued as the route came to him without any outside assistance, he was beyond any obstacle as he was subliminally engaged with that of beyond the road, a fourth element to the racing driver that was simply beyond anything tangible.

Yet this perfect cadence would end once they neared the camp, seemingly without any prior warning, Watson had lost all connection to the road, a tear in the fabric of his perfect driving harmony, for the car had left the road after going full speed right over a large jump that went unnoticed by Charlotte. The car left the ground momentarily, and Watson was visibly shook as he felt the grounding link sever. For only a moment, he had lost control and the vehicle’s tail gone loose, which unlike his rhythm, was quickly recovered. Charlotte too, was very surprised and quickly reshuffled her papers and recommenced her dictating of the pacenotes. But the effect had been done, and from here on out the team continued at a third of the pace they were going for the first leg of the journey.

Hesus Santa Maria…!” Romulo exclaimed. “That’s going to take some of the life out of this vehicle, that’s for sure…”

Upon their arrival to the camp, they had found themselves among the first to have arrived, second in fact, coming right after yet another SUV. The team still seemed to be setting up their camp however, so the distance likely wasn’t too large, perhaps it could’ve been neck-and-neck had Watson anticipated the jump. Nevertheless, they were finally at the campsite, and Watson maneuvered the red crossover, caked in more loose mud and dust than earlier, out towards the bottom of a small plateau nearby the river. It was rather hot and humid, though the breeze helped to make things just a bit more enjoyable for the tattered and battered crew of Blazers.

“How do I turn this off?” Watson asked as he pulled the parking brake once he found the car to be in a desired spot.

“Right, so don’t turn the car off yet, but when you need to, just turn the key to the left and after a few clicks, it’ll let you pull it out of the ignition.” Romulo said as he got out of the car and moved towards the driver’s door. Watson moved out of the way to let Romulo do his work, and he went onward to the vehicle’s stern, opening the tailgate and pulling out the tent to set it up. As the two men worked on those matters, Charlotte began looking around the area. As the river was close by and the humid heat was starting to get to her, she thought about either going for a swim or perhaps a bath.

“I’ll be right back!” She said as she tossed her jacket through the car’s window. The heat seemed to get to Emily too, however, and so before Charlotte could get out of her grasp, she quickly grabbed a hold of her. “Could I ask where you shall be going to?”

Charlotte looked around a bit, the two boys were once again at each other’s throats bickering over where the tent should be going, and with a sigh she turned her focus back towards Emily. “Well, I’m going to go find a secluded place by the river…” She winked, and instantly the two girls had managed to formulate an idea in their heads. The two felt something tug on their shirts, and they looked down to see Ga’araiya, who had caught up on their plans as well. Now three of them, they slipped around towards the back whilst the boys were busy, and got one of Charlotte’s bags from the Yamada’s cargo hold before finally sneaking away towards an opening through the denser part of the foliage.

After a bit of walking, they’ve managed to find themselves a decently secluded area on the edge of the river, on a bit of creek that just barely branched away from the main body. Here the water was fairly clear and flowed smoothly and slowly as it carved its way past the river’s gravel-like sediment, and all around them were different types of tropical flora and small species of fish that were foreign to Emily and Ga’araiya. Lining the creek bed were small and fairly smooth rocks, carved by the many years they had been settled on the edges of the creek. The tropical brush all around them vaguely reminded Emily of the short amount of time she’d spent in the Philippines when Watson’s watch malfunctioned, although things still felt very much off, as the tropical plants were unlike that of Earth’s, and the overall air ambience felt different too.

Upon scanning the area a bit more, it was quite secluded from the rest of the environment by trees (or what looked to be them), and bushes, and a bit of starlight managed to seep through the unusually-shaped leaves as they bounced around each other and illuminated the low-roof clearing as the quiet fauna twittered and tattered about calmly to the rhythm of the wind as it rustled the bushes and leaves about and landed onto their skin. They looked closer at the creek, whilst it was indeed fairly small, no larger than about two and a half people in width, it seemed deep enough to allow one to float without them touching the creek bed, but still shallow enough that there wasn’t any risk of one drowning.

Charlotte settled her bag down onto a large dry rock nearby, well above the creek and out of the way of any water that may end up splashing about. “Well then, I don’t sense anyone within the general vicinity. I think we’d be fine where we are right now.” She said as she began to strip first, slowly lifting up her red Scuderia Quezon tanktop away from her body, with some of her fur clinging onto the inside of the shirt. Emily looked around, still on alert as she assisted Ga’araiya in lifting her dress away to reveal her small and petite, but refined frame, like one would expect of someone royal. Once Ga’araiya had been disrobed, she quickly made her way towards the water, not even bothering to check the water’s temperature, she sat right in and immediately felt right at home. A face of satisfaction glowed upon her as she finally lay within the creek’s soft-flowing waters. Seeing Ga’araiya enjoy herself, Charlotte quickly rid herself of her shorts and her undergarments, settling them on a low-laying branch of a tree nearby, and climbed right in. Unusually for someone like her, she very much enjoyed as her fur drenched itself in the natural calming waters of the creek.

Finally, Emily tended to herself, unbuttoning the green dress she had on which slowly revealed her busty frame. Charlotte looked back towards Emily, and observed as she slowly disrobed herself of her garments, which revealed her large bosom and gentle curves as the dress slowly began to slide right off of her Italian-sun-kissed arms. “Show off!” Charlotte sniggered at her as she splashed water towards Emily’s general direction. A droplet of the fairly cold liquid seemed to land square on Emily’s belly, which caused a small whimper to emerge from between the blonde’s luscious lips. “H-hey! You might get the dress wet!” Her face flushed and pouted as she set the green dress on another nearby branch, before slowly making her way towards the water, still looking around to ensure that no peeping tom had dared to trespass upon their purity.

“No one’s looking, and besides, weren’t you going commando earlier? You’re acting as though people hadn’t already seen you down there…” Charlotte smirked. It seemed that this cat was very teasing towards her blonde companion. Meanwhile, Emily’s face was still red, and Charlotte’s little remarks weren’t helping either. “B-be quiet, you stupid feline! I took special care to ensure that n-no one would be able to see, so I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Emily crossed her arms as she settled down into the creek’s water nearby Charlotte, leaning back enough where it let the water get up to around her shoulders. It was indeed quite cold, but not cold to the point of shivering and was very much relaxing. She let her buttock rest upon a fairly large and smooth rock as she took a stretch in the water. “I haven’t had a bath in a natural body of water like this before. It certainly feels quite liberating.” As she stretched her arms up above her head, her bosom slowly rose out of the water, becoming visible to Charlotte as they sat aside each other.

The cheeky feline smirked at this, and quite literally she had grabbed the opportunity right there, and Emily squealed as she felt a pair of hands grab right onto her bountiful chest. “W-what do you think you’re doing?! U-unhand me this instance!” She demanded without any major action.

“Well, I wouldn’t be grabbing you if you weren’t flaunting them so much!” Charlotte said as she continued to get a feel of the large lumps on Emily’s chest. She felt them right through, soft and warm with her body heat, and weight aplenty. “I-Impressive…”

“W-wait! D-don’t move them around so much-!” Emily’s sweet voice continued to sound through restrained moans as Charlotte continued groping her.

“Oh c’mon! Such splendid assets such as these and you won’t even let anyone touch them? We’re both girls anyway! And this always happens in Japanese cartoons!”

“J-Japanese cartoons?!”

“Hey, see! You’re not even resisting anymore!”

All the while Emily had herself being harassed by the very likely jealous flat-chested feline, Ga’araiya simply floated along the creek not too far away from the other two with her face toward the heavens, feeling as though she were in deep bliss as she observed the blue sky seeping through the clouds overhead and finding its way through the leaves, before eventually landing on her blue retinas which roughly reflected the colour of the sky. Although something seemed to alert her as her sensitive ears picked up a distant rustling in the bushes came to her attention. Immediately, she turned herself to a swimming position and waddled her way over to the two, splashing at them to grab their attention.

“Hey! Who do you think you’re splashing water at?!” Charlotte exclaimed as she splashed water back at the smaller girl. Ga’araiya was not amused at all by this, she stood up from where she was and whipped her tail into the water, hitting the two of them with a sizeable wave, before pointing towards the general direction of where she heard the bush rustling. “S-someone… bushes…” She said softly, before hiding herself back into the water.

“W-wait! Someone’s there?!” Emily’s eyes grew wide and her face looked anxious, but Charlotte didn’t seem to be able to smell anything, likely due to the strong scent of the creek water clinging onto her whiskers overpowering the general scent of the environment around her, and as such she was not able to tell if anything had gone awry. “I don’t think anyone’s there. If anything, it’s just… a b-bird, or something… J-just keep your body under the water, or whatever…”

Unfortunately, it seemed as though Emily’s fears had come true, and eventually a brown-furred being unlike anything they’d seen before emerged from the bushes, but it seemed as though the being hadn’t managed to catch a glimpse of them as it was too busy scanning the area. Emily screamed upon realizing this, which started the being and got its attention. Quickly, before it could catch a glimpse Charlotte moved her fingers into a gun shape and fired off one of her spells. A bright blue flash of light emanated from her fingertip, which had managed to land squarely on the being’s forehead, swiftly knocking it out before it had the time to react.

“T-this is what I was telling you, goddamn it!” Emily exclaimed, standing up from where she was. Charlotte simply chuckled at her as Emily bared her entire body out of the water without her even realizing. “How bold, you’re showing yourself off already, not even knowing if that thing over there is still conscious or not…”

Emily looked back at herself, and her face flushed a deep red as she quickly sat back down into the water. “…W-whatever…”

Charlotte got up however, shaking her fur almost dry and letting out a hearty laugh. “I’m just messing with you! No creature’s going to keep awake for long after getting hit with that spell! My mentor taught me that when I was younger, as a little self-defense spell if I ever found myself in trouble.” She went over towards her bag, grabbing a towel and covering her body up to look over at the being she just temporarily knocked out, and immediately a pang of realization struck her as she identified the body. “Oh… oh dear…”

“W-what’s wrong?” Emily swam over towards them, lifting herself up from the water to get a closer look. She was able to somewhat recognize who it was, and she too started feeling a slight bit of remorse. “W-wait… isn’t that… from another team?” She said as she leaned closer towards the being. Meanwhile, Ga’araiya had picked up yet another rustling in the bushes, and got up from the water and attempted to reach for the bag which contained the towels, but unfortunately for the small girl, she could barely reach it and looked over at Charlotte with a face pleading for assistance. But the feline was still busy observing the knocked out being however, closely observing its facial features as it really wasn’t like that of any other species she’d seen before.

“Which team was this one from again?” Charlotte leaned over it, managing to identify some of its facial features as masculine.

“I’m not quite sure myself…” Emily got up from the water to assist Ga’araiya, but it right as she lifted herself off, a rustling of the bushes had alerted all of them yet again, but this time it was Ga’araiya who acted first, glaring over towards the bushes that were moving, she chanted some words that vaguely sounded like Greek, and out of seemingly nowhere a large turquoise trident had materialized into her hand, and with the form of an Olympian javelin thrower, she catapulted the three-pronged weapon towards the direction of the rustling.

“What in the bloody-?!” Sounded a very much familiar male voice in the distance, until from the bushes came a tall, blonde figure holding the trident in his right hand. “Y’know Princess, you shouldn’t… Oh…” Watson had arrived at the secluded creek, much to the girls’ dismay. Once again, Emily screamed loudly as she frantically covered herself up with her arms, whilst Watson slowly attempted to walk away.

“I-Insolent fool! How dare thee walk up on a bunch of innocent maidens! Leech! Disgusting!” Emily hurled remarks at him, despite his attempt at walking away. But Charlotte hurled more than remarks, she moved her fingers once again into a gun position and fired yet another spell, which somehow Watson had managed to dodge with just a simple shift of his upper body.

“Hey! I’m walking away already! Geez! Anyway, I think the team of that guy you just conked out is about to arrive, I’ll be waiting somewhere near, though rest assured I won’t be peeping on you.” He said as another bolt of blue light flashed by his face even as he continued to walk away.

“Like hell we can trust that!” Charlotte called out. But Ga’araiya no longer seemed to be on guard, which to Emily was a cue that he kept his word. She moved over towards the rock where the bag was, drying Ga’araiya off first and wrapping her with a towel, before she got her own towel and quickly dried herself off now. After having dressed themselves, Watson mysteriously emerged from the bushes once more, still holding the large trident in his hand. “As I was saying, Princess. Try not to use this too much. It might warrant unnecessary attention that could potentially prove harmful to us.” He tossed the trident back towards Ga’araiya, who swiftly caught it. She spun the trident around her hand before catching it once more and unmaterializing it out of existence. Charlotte simply stared in awe at this technique of hers, but didn’t dwell on it too much as there were more pressing matters at hand. Watson walked over towards the knocked out being, getting on one knee to further examine it. “I believe you were trying to cast the same spell you used on him at me, were you not? Deary me, that could’ve ended quite poorly. Fortunately for this gentleman, he’s pretty resilient.”

Watson lifted the being’s head, and placed his hand on its cheek, and like some biblical miracle, its eyes opened and it was now awake. Before anything however, a set of footsteps started to approach the area, and the rest were now on high alert as anything could happen at this point, and eventually a group of figures appeared from the bushes.



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I saw the year and completely didn’t think that.

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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

PART 2.1 - D. Head

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude
[PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!] (2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Stage 1) - #238 by Knugcab)

The team appreciated that the van now was much cleaner on the inside, but the fact that they still were high on the scent from the mercy bush was hard to do something about in the hours to come.

JANNE: (laughing) “So…it was an old medicinal herb… I knew it! Hahahahaha…”
ANDREAS: “Haha, yeah…but…like since when do you…haha…care about such stuff”
JANNE: “You know… I was a sage in my past life… HAHAHAHA…”
ANDREAS: “HAHAHAHA stop talking such Demons and dragons (*) gibberish…”

While Janne and Andreas was still together, Marie was just wandering around in the camp, hardly knowing on which planet she was on. She kind of woke up, however, when she heard the horn from the Union Magistrate she managed to step out in front of.

MARIE: “SATANS FÖRBANNADE JÄVLA IDIOTER!” (mumble mumble)… “Hahaha, they probably just does not know that the bird is the word…”

Marie was walking back towards the van, found a piece of white cardboard and some magic markers, and thought out a revenge. Quickly, she drew something on it, took a roll of duct tape, walked back to Team Oil Crisis vehicle, and without even caring that the whole team could as well be looking at her, she duct taped this to the rear side window of the Magistrate.

Still high, she was just smiling and could not care less about their reactions.

TO BE CONTINUED

(*) = Mistake intended

@TheYugo45GV

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They’ve been counting their years with breaks in between, but they’ve been in an extended steam era for about 3,000 years. I mean, let’s face it, Earth’s history isn’t only the last 2,022 years. Just we start counting backwards. In Aetherii, they’ve just made breaks after major events. We’re a few thousand years after the first war of magic, but no one ever calls the first war a ‘first war’ unless there’s an intention of a second. So, we’re in 3251 AWM, meaning “After the War of Magic.” Before that, they tracked years, but after the war, those years were relabled BW, for Before the War.

Sorry for the confusion.

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RK Series Racing; Stage 1 Drive

The night was rather uneventful, though unpleasant, as only Constantin slept well, resulting in him waking up far earlier than the other two. He quietly packed up most of his “tent”, placing it onto the Dione’s hood for the time being to avoid waking up the others. To kill time, he goes about a morning routine of bodyweight excercises. It take a full Aetherian Hour for the Valentin to open his eyes, followed shortly by Tim. Both of them have not slept well AT ALL due to the stifling humidity coupled with substantial Jet-Lag caused by the different time format.

“Mornin”, Constantin remarks, poking his head in through a window. Both Tim and Valentin stare back at him, looking almost zombie-like in appearance. “I’ll get breakfast going.”, the Swedish Gigachad (as proclaimed by others) adds while reaching in to pull the trunk release, dropping the remainder of his tent to the floor behind the car.

With minimal talking between each other, they have breakfast, consisting of little more than a few slices of bread with non-perishable toppings of various kinds. Once done, the associated equipment as well as Constantin’s tent is packed up and they go to planning the trip.

“The upcoming road is expected to be paved with cobblestone of varying quality”, Connor informs calmly, having gotten the role as Navigator by proxy. “Trip length to next campsite is 355 miles.”

Some discussion regarding seating ensues, which derails towards the state of the car, ending in them digging into the bonnet once more to attempt to fix the broken high beam bulb. It takes a good earth hour of fiddling with the wiring loom, various fuses relating to all kinds of things within the car, until Valentin has the bright idea to check the trunk if they have anything useful: “Maybe the previous owner has left something useful in it?”

He heads back and digs around a bit, eventually finding some small plastic box in the spare tyre well. That box is about the size of a shoebox, half as tall and has a faux-chrome Anhultz logo embossed into the otherwise black lid. He opens that box and realizes that he stumbled upon the original emergency repair kit, containing a feeble lug wrench, a 13/15mm dual headed wrench, another one of 10/12mm pairing as well as a set of screwdrivers. A small compartment within reveals a multitude of fuses and a set of bulbs for pretty much every lighting fixture imaginable. Even a spare belt of some sort has been crammed in there, but it seems to have been put in afterwards as there is no designated space for it.

“Take a look at this! I found the OG repair kit in the spare tyre well. Bulbs, fuses, some wrenches, everything! Even an auxiliary belt of sorts!”, Valentin happily exclaims, heading back up front.

The team gets to work replacing relevant fuses as well as the bulb in question. Upon testing, all four headlights light up as they should, sending a wave of enthusiasm across the team. They soon head off with the usual arrangement.

The enthusiasm dies off quickly, as Tim isn’t exactly able or willing to put the foot down. He is quickly replaced by majority vote (i.e. the other two humans), putting Connor behind the wheel.

His stint, however, didn’t last all too long either, as Connor keeps miscoordinating his newly repaired arm, leading to what are probably the jankiest gear changes the car and all their occupants have seen.

This time, Constantin heads up front, Connor beside him with the other two in the back, already mostly asleep again. Constantin also wasn’t even close to driving at the limit of both him and the car, but with about 15 minutes driving experience and his usual vehicle being a massive military truck, he did not want to risk DNF-ing the team about 80 miles into stage one.

The rest of the drive was rather uneventful, Valentin and Tim spending most of their trip not paying attention to anything whatsoever, Connor navigating and scouting which one of the river roads was better maintained and Constantin taking driving duties for the remainder of the trip.

Upon arrival at the second campsite, the group realizes that they have been the last team to arrive.
They simply roll up onto the last bit of empty space remaining and get out of the car, soon to be starting to set up camp.


to be continued

if anyone wants to ridicule us for being last by half an hour (or a factor of two…), now is your chance

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Small note: My team were in their car and watching a movie so they didn’t notice her immediately. I will acknowledge it in the next part after the other interaction that I have in progress.

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Team Shift Happens

Previous Chapters:
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM
Boldly Going / Through the Rift / Arrival in Jaduvira - Stage 0
When the Hell are We!? - Stage 0 Campsite
Out of His Damn Mind - Stage 0 Campsite
One Hot Night / Letters from the Past - Stage 0 Campsite
Over the Hill and Through the Woods - Stage 1
May the Moons have Mercy on Them - Stage 1 Campsite


Viravalli Campsite

The majority of Team Shift Happens were sitting around the campfire, with only Jayde being missing from the circle, as he was offering help to other teams.

Kaylie looked over at Rukari and asked, “You do realize we’re missing a team?”

Rukari looked back at Kaylie, tapping the ring on his right hand, and said, “They are still moving.”

“Shouldn’t we go back and help them?” Kaylie inquired.

“Neyi. They are still moving. If they stop again, then yes, we will go back for them, but they are still on the move,” Rukari replied.

Sure enough, the Anhultz Dione of Team RK Series Racing, the Tangerine Tank, rolled into the camp and parked in the last remaining good empty space for a car before setting up their camp.

Kaylie, still concerned, went to run over to see if they were okay, though Rukari grabbed her left hand and held her back, shaking his head. “Rukari, let go or I’ll break every bone in your wrist,” Kaylie growled.

“Maybe you can’t scent it, but one of them has great fear when you are close. One without stripes should go,” Rukari said, though he did loosen his grip enough for Kaylie to casually slide her hand free.

“Fine. Didn’t realize I scared them that much,” Kaylie grumbled.

“I’ll check in on them,” Malavera offered. “I’m just as likely to scare the hell out of them, but I’m also less likely to accidentally hurt someone if I have to defend myself.”

Rukari gave a light nod, and Malavera wandered over to the Anhultz.

“Glad to see the four of you made it here safely,” Malavera said, looking over the Dione. “I see you fixed the broken headlight,” he added. “Had a little trouble out there? Or, just no one was comfortable putting their foot down?”

(@Elizipeazie Yeah, no, you’re not getting any real ridicule out of Team Shift Happens. Malavera completely understands being uncomfortable driving fast, even if his condition caused the Flight of the Highwayman today. Also, figured it made sense that Rukari’s the one who’s figured out at least someone on your team is scared of Kaylie. He’s observant like that because of his special forces’ training.)


Jayde, meanwhile, had wandered over to the Kontir Cunningham of Team Mravolinski-Chitco, having heard a rumor that they needed some tires repaired, and that one of their team members may have been badly injured. He walked up to Mrdja, quite aware that being approached by a 2.5 meter tall lion-man in a black robe could be intimidating, especially with him leaning on his staff and his leg gleaming from under his robe, and asked, “Does your team need anything repaired? Is anyone hurt? I’m no mechanic, and not a doctor, but I can repair a few things, and I know a little about healing.”

(@MrdjaNikolen Figured seeing as I’ve got a character who can heal and can magically reverse damage to things like tires, I might as well loan his services out to a team in actual need. If you have to write Jayde’s perspective, he does his magic non-verbally, and generally in the least flashy way possible to save energy, and he’s usually rather quiet. He is, however, not the most skilled in healing, so if he can’t quite pull Pi back together again, that’s also fine.)

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Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen

Reply to last part

Meet Jayde

Snooze in our case havent lasted very long, so it was decided that we should prob just hang around, also thinking on how to solve the tires and maybe get Pi in much better shape.

Fate does offer sometimes very convenient ways to do some things and one pretty much unknown figure was indeed on the way to us.

He walked up to Mrdja, quite aware that being approached by a 2.5 meter tall lion-man in a black robe could be intimidating, especially with him leaning on his staff and his leg gleaming from under his robe, and asked, “Does your team need anything repaired? Is anyone hurt? I’m no mechanic, and not a doctor, but I can repair a few things, and I know a little about healing.”

Yup, we had encountered Jayde.
We did saw him jumping out of explanatory portal of sorts and were aware that he is now part of Team Shift Happens, but havent talked to him before.

He did made good first impression explaining as to how (or more importantly, why) he jumped through portal in first place; bcos, ya know, that was actually funny.
Tad bit risky, but funny.

Jayde’s scar and prosthetic leg had, interestingly enough, attracted great attention to his only soon-to-be patient with brain.
Answer was quick and to the point: he fought in battle where he lost the leg and got the scar and yes, he did adapted very well to this new arrangement.
Well enough to remind our team of his jump through portal, in fact.

His three “patients” were grouped together and it was a success.
Tires were now comparable to time when they were new, structurally atleast, and they were set as spares should some tire decide to die.
As for Pi, his intervention had covered some stuff hard to do otherwise by our doctors and she too was now like new.

Jayde was also offered some food as compensation for services of repairing tires and healing Pi and soon after would exchange goodbyes with our team.

Where is Jayde going now, you ask?
Well…i would lead that question to @Madrias.
As for us, we decided to hang out a little bit more, until some future interaction takes place.

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RK Series Racing; Stage 1 Camp

There wasn’t a whole lot to do in order to set up camp. As such, they just unload minimal amounts of gear, amounting to two fold-up chairs, their gas stove, a small “tray” to put it on and some wind protection to avoid loss of heat. All of that took less than five earth-minutes to set up an their little “campfire” has taken the place of Constantin’s tent for the time being, with all four being sat around it. Valentin and Tim had taken seat on the Dione’s rear bumper, with Constantin and Connor opposing them on the camping chairs. They can be heard discussing about why the trip has seemingly taken much longer than the other teams.

Tim is the first to spot Malavera, looking at him intently, at which point Valentin clears up his vision by tucking some of his hair behind his ears. He immediately is visibly agitated at the sight of what effectively is a twin-headed werewolf almost a foot taller than even him. “Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope!”, he repeats, as he gets up to seek refuge further up front in the car, just to be prevented from doing so by both Tim grabbing his arm (and some of his air by accident as well…) and Constantin, reassuring him that the host team has zero reason to be hostile towards about 100 guests in their home world. “OW! No need to get violent over this!”, Valentin exclaims as he reluctantly reclaims his seat, still on edge and trying to prevent any eye contact with Malavera.

to be continued


@Madrias

  1. can i just point out that you managed to replace a scary tiger-human thing with an even scarier two-heads-wolf-human thing. Valentin is I<—>I this close to shitting himself :smiley:

  2. wanna do this RP like we did with the last interaction? I don’t wanna take hold of Malavera and get him wrong big time

EDIT:
added a line and fixed some typos

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(OOC: @Elizipeazie Sure, we can do the RP the same as last time. And I thought Malavera might be less scary to them since he was the one who inspected their car, but then again, this is Malavera we’re taking about. He’s out of his own comfort zone here, but trying to be helpful and kind, even though he’d much rather be off on his own. After all, Malavera even admits he’s just as likely to scare the hell out of your team, but considering they’re only checking to make sure everyone’s okay, he’s only going to be in contact with them for a moment.)

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Team Shift Happens

Previous Chapters:
It’s Go Time! - Starting Party 6 PM
Boldly Going / Through the Rift / Arrival in Jaduvira - Stage 0
When the Hell are We!? - Stage 0 Campsite
Out of His Damn Mind - Stage 0 Campsite
One Hot Night / Letters from the Past - Stage 0 Campsite
Over the Hill and Through the Woods - Stage 1
May the Moons have Mercy on Them - Stage 1 Campsite
Helpful Friends are Helpful - Stage 1 Campsite


(Thank you to @Elizipeazie for writing this with me!)

Malavera groaned and covered his left muzzle with his left hand, a gesture very similar to a face-palm, but way less violent. “Well, I did tell them I was just as likely to scare all of you as Kaylie was,” Malavera said, shaking his right head. “I came over here to ask if everything was okay, seeing as, if we go just by the arrivals, it seems like you four had a bit of trouble out there.”

Realizing his height might be half the issue in being frightening, Malavera looked around, found a nearby tree stump, and sat down to continue their conversation. “If I’d known I would scare him that bad, I’d have let Kaylie come over. I mean, I suppose we could have sent the gentle giant, Jayde, but, well… He saw another team in need,” Malavera said.

Constantin was the first to speak about the team’s state: “Well… two people didn’t sleep all that much, a third is too mechanically inept to shift and i’m not used to breaching 55mph, given that i usually am sat in massive trucks…”, he explains, motioning to the respective people while doing so. Connor tries to explain his ineptitude soon after: “It seems like i am not yet fully accustomed to the delay caused by the auxiliary driver processing the input signal separately.” Tim immediately smiles at the thought of Connor’s arm basically suffering from high ping, whereas Valentin still is practically staring at the gas stove in the middle to avoid having Malavera in his focused view. He even goes as far as retrieving his haircut previously stowed behind his ears to sort-of hide behind it.

Malavera nodded. “I can understand that. I drive an ex-military truck myself, it’s about the only thing I’ve found myself comfortable in,” Malavera said, replying to Constantin. When Connor explained that he was dealing with signal delays, however, Malavera smiled. “If there’s one thing I know well, it’s high ping,” he said. “Did Kaylie ever try to tune that, Connor?” Malavera asked. “Or did she set it up and hope for the best? Because while I’m not overly familiar with Panthirian powered armor designs, I think the control modules are adjustable. Some people need a higher sensitivity. I mean, the other option is trying to get Jayde involved. He doesn’t understand our technology, let alone yours, but I’m… Well, I’m confident that he could do better than just a patch.”

“From what i remember Kaylie just put it on and left Connor to it with his internal signaling stuff…”, Tim remarks, looking over at the power-assisted elbow brace Connor is wearing. “Correct. The device seems to be optimized to react to nerve signals siphoned off of the skin. I have drastically reduced the signal strength to accommodate. Increasing it’s sensitivity would severely limit fine-motor-control, just like the unexpectedly high current input from the initial movement signal did.”, Connor explains, cycling elbow, wrist and finger movements a few times in the process.

Valentin, while still hiding behind the massive curtain that is his blonde, wavy hair, peeks over to Malavera. Constantin takes note: “Boy, i’ve seen waaaay worse shit in the military… No need to be a pussy about it.” The comment didn’t really help, as Valentin now felt insulted on top of being uncomfortable, even though he truly did not have any bravery or courage to speak of.

Malavera looked over at Constantin after he told Valentin he’d seen way worse in the military. “Some people just aren’t comfortable in some situations. I’d much prefer to have a lens, two computers, about 5 kilometers of network cabling, and a screen between myself and the lot of you, but we all have to face our fears sometime,” Malavera replied. “I’ll go get Kaylie to take a look at that brace, Connor. She’ll know how to tune it better.”

Malavera got up and walked back over to the rest of Team Shift Happens, getting Kaylie’s attention and mentioning to her, “Connor might need that armor frame tuned for him.”

Kaylie nodded, grabbed her kit from the back of the truck, then said, “Might need a computer. I don’t suppose you’ve brought that battleship of a laptop?”

“In the toolbox,” Malavera said. Kaylie opened the lid, then lifted the 20 pound military laptop out with a loud strained grunt.

“Fucking hell, this thing’s heavy!” Kaylie growled, switching it over to her left hand and shaking her right hand in the air with a grimace. “What the hell is in it, Mal!?”

“It’s custom made. I cut down a server board. Twin 8 core CPUs, 128 GB of ECC DDR3, and all the storage space I need locally, plus enough battery to run for 10 hours,” Malavera said proudly as he followed Kaylie.

“Damned tech-junkie,” Kaylie muttered, lugging Mal’s “laptop” over to where Team RK-Series Racing was. “So, Connor, you say you’re having signal latency issues? Serves me right for leaving everything set to their defaults,” Kaylie said, unraveling a wiring harness, plugging it into the serial port and the other end into the control module, then scowling as she tried to work with Malavera’s laptop. “Why the fuck does he have 5 COM ports? What the fuck is he even doing with that many serial… Twin Suns, this laptop is a mess,” Kaylie muttered. “Sorry, guys, had to borrow Malavera’s server-in-a-box. Only used it for a minute so far and I really, really hate it already.”

In the meantime, when Malavera went off to get Kaylie and some equipment, Valentin finally broke the silence for a moment: “I know it’s shallow, but fuck they’re scary to look at…” “Jesus you really are a wuss…”, Tim counters, treating the Shift Happens members as humans in very elaborate fursuits. Valentin just kept quiet, being annoyed at both Tim and Constantin as well as weary about stirring the trouble-pot too much in a completely foreign world.

Upon arrival of Kaylie and Malavera, Connor got to work. “Depending on applied current, the malfunction seems to relate to either sensitivity, latency or a combination of both. I discovered this when trying to change gear en route to this location.” Connor calmy explains, having to trust Kaylie fully for lack of a reasonable alternative.

Valentin manages to take a peek at “laptop”, which is basically an entire server in a suitcase. His angle and the computer’s construction doesn’t reveal much. The only things he can guess that it is immensely powerful and heavy. That raises one question: “Is that a PC? How do you keep that thing cool?”, Valentin mutters, barely loud enough to be audible, yet still directed at Kaylie and Malavera.

Kaylie nodded as Connor described his problem. “You’ve turned your signals down to stop overloading the controller, but this has introduced latency, yes?” Kaylie asked. “I can turn down the receiver’s sensitivity so you can run full signal strength again.”

Malavera, however, looked over as Valentin tried to figure out how his portable server stayed cool. “There’s a reason it’s as thick as it is, and weighs almost 20 pounds, Valentin. Copper heatsinks made for a 1U rack, high-performance fans with a custom fan profile meant to be quiet most of the time, but keep the twin CPUs cool when needed, and a little under-volting here and there to reduce heat without sacrificing stability,” Malavera replied. “That, and I insisted on a 19 inch full-HD 1080P display. When I built it, small 4K displays were too expensive. As for graphics, well… Let’s just say I’m glad I prefer older games, because the stripped-down workstation card in there isn’t great.”

Kaylie, meanwhile, was slowly turning down the signal sensitivity for the armor frame and having Connor recalibrate between each step, trying to see if things were getting better or worse.

Connor simply nods in agreement, followed by a direct “Yes” to hammer down the point even further. Her suggested remedy doesn’t meet an immediate reaction as Connor simply awaits instructions or the completion of the procedure.

Valentin was rather startled by the fact that Malavera actually heard him. He initially doesn’t answer until he receives a light punch to the shoulder by Tim. “Must be awfully loud under load. An array of 60mm fans may generate airflow, but also turns the thing into a jet engine acoustically…”, Valentin remarks, not much louder than before, but making a visible attempt at challenging his fear by at least looking in the vague direction that Malavera and Kaylie were sat at.

Connor internally applied full signal power, but only directed minimal inputs at the device in an attempt to avoid flailing the arm around like a drunkard on the dancefloor doing the windmill. Initially, he more or less did exactly that, much to the surprise of all the others present. Subsequent cycles were much more muted though, until minute and accurate movement was achieved with Connors bottom-clamp value of signal power.

Malavera nodded. “Under full load, it’s quite loud, yes. I’ve got the fan curves set to try keeping the CPUs at 40C if possible. Out here, I’ve got the switch flipped to enable the 50C hold, where it won’t ramp up until it hits 50 degrees. Otherwise,” Malavera said, grimacing as the fans suddenly ramped up, making a racket for several long seconds before shutting down just as suddenly. “Otherwise, it’d sound like that all the time.”

Kaylie kept working with Connor, adjusting the signal sensitivity until Connor couldn’t verify any further benefits to the sensitivity being any lower. “Now, the other thing I’m going to try here is tripling the sensor polling rate. If you pick up any feedback during this, let me know, this is just a mild experiment to see if any improvements are made, but if you get a twitch or a jitter in the arm that you aren’t causing, I’ll try a standard double, and if it’s still a bit jumpy, I’ll turn it back down,” Kaylie said.

“I mean, the laptop’s nothing compared to my battlestation back home, but… Well, it’s not exactly practical to lug a whole server rack around if you don’t need it,” Malavera said. “I know a guy who buys up used business servers and resells the pieces. I occasionally put a notice out to him when I want something specific, and he usually gets back to me if he finds it. If you ever want a custom workstation, Valentin, just let me know, I’ll help you get all the parts. If you ever find yourself needing a mobile server, likewise, I’ll build one for you. Just, be aware, they’re not light.”

“Yeah, he’s not joking on that,” Kaylie said with a grimace. “This thing is killing my knees.”

“It’s made for my lap, not yours, Kaylie,” Malavera replied. “And even at that, it’s best used on a table. Or a desk. Literally any flat surface, really. On one’s legs is only meant for emergencies.”

Valentin over time became more at ease as Malavera and himself were talking about stuff he knew rather well, allowing a common topic that did not end in immediate weirdness. His rig at home was beefy by consumer PC standards, but by no means at enterprise or even server level. “My PC at home is a turd compared to what you managed to cram into a suitcase…”, Valentin admits while watching the happenings between Kaylie and Connor with interest, but minimal understanding of what actually is going on.

On his end, at some point, the control unit simply stops registering Connor’s min_input signal, which is then used as a reference point for the devices sensitivity. The polling-rate idea sounds good on paper, but leads to the affected joints mildly overshooting the desired position as the device reacts to the less-than-instant current drop of Connor’s signal. The double-polling rate seems to work fine.

“Sounds like you got your soulmate located, Val”, Tim jokes, nudging him in the process. Valentin’s answer is not verbal, but ends in him looking back at Tim with an expression of “Really? Yeah no…”. Still, the prospect of sourcing server-grade components sounds enticing enough to keep in mind: “I’ll keep that in mind once my Wi-Fi switch array plans take off, i guess…”

Malavera chuckled. “I do a lot of tasks that often require me to both have a relatively high amount of local CPU power, and also remain relatively mobile. If I’m able to set up a base somewhere, however, I just remote into one of my servers,” Malavera replied. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket, fished a pen out of a different robe pocket, grabbed a business card for the person he often called up for server-grade hardware, flipped the card over, and wrote down an IP address, a username, and a password. “Now, keep in mind, these won’t be immediately active once we go back, but I’ll put it at the top of my to-do list to get the credentials set up. You ever need to get some serious work done, don’t bother with paying for cloud computing. This,” Malavera said, handing over the card, “will get you into Server 4. Kaylie occasionally uses it for video rendering, and to be fair, it’s overkill for that.”

“The last episode of Kaylie’s Garage took longer to upload than it did to render,” Kaylie admitted, looking over to them. “Whatever super-computer he’s got up there is impressive.”

“Relatively recent purchase, actually. And not quite a super-computer,” Malavera replied. “But it is the first time I purchased a full rack sight-unseen from a closing business. Got everything but the drives, and I handled that mess myself.”

Kaylie, finally satisfied that she’d adjusted Connor’s arm-frame to the best of her ability, said, “Unless Malavera thinks he can do a bit more on this, I think we’ve solved it. Might still have some issues, but it should be a lot more sensitive now.”

“I’d rather not mess up your hard work, Kaylie,” Malavera said. He watched as she disconnected the harness, then handed him back his laptop.

“By the way, why do you have so many serial ports on that thing?” Kaylie asked.

“Running three different 3D printers at the same time, and still having one port spare for the CNC machine, and one additional spare in case I’m messing around with something over serial,” Malavera admitted. “I know USB is capable of that, but… I like the old school serial port.”

“Also, seriously, Mal, you don’t have a graphical user interface on that thing?” Kaylie asked.

“I do, but I rarely use it. There’s nothing wrong with running everything from the command line,” Malavera replied, chuckling. “Plus, it means that everything looks the same for me, regardless of whether I’m on Mobile 1, Server 1 through 5, or, well… SC 1.”

“SC 1, Mal?”

“I bought a supercomputer, okay? Haven’t even gotten it set up yet. And no, it’s not top of the line, it’s about a decade old.”

Valentin quietly accepts the business card, reading both the contact data of that businessman and the credentials for the server on the back. “Well thanks, i guess…”, he replies as he stores the card in his pocket.

Connor, upon removal of the equipment, goes to work doing his intricate calibration procedure. He pulls out the recently gifted Tigrilan Crown and said coin effortlessly rolls around the fingers of his left hand, eventually sailing straight to the other, where it is caught safely. The process repeats multiple times and in various combinations, the coin going back and forth, up and down and around the fingers of either hand. The right hand was still slower than the left due to the added external size of the harness assembly, but the fluidity and coordination was equal to the fully functional left hand.

“Seems to be working”, Constantin notes. “Yeah. Good job!”, Tim chimes in as well in a cheerful mood. Even Valentin was smiling ever so slightly at the commendable work in augmenting unknown technology to restore functionality.

“Thank you for your assistance.”, Connor says to both Kaylie and Malavera as he puts the coin back into his pocket, cycling the joints the traditional way to make sure that this performance wasn’t a fluke or anything.

Kaylie smiled. “You’re welcome. I know, I should’ve done this before, but, well, I didn’t think about that after I got things working. I thought maybe you’d adjust, but didn’t realize I should have adjusted the hardware to fit the new user. I mean, you did amazingly well for having Kayden’s profile still loaded in there.”

“Hey, all I did was provide the hardware for Kaylie to work on it, and checked in on you guys after that stage,” Malavera said. “And, Valentin, you ever need tech support, contact me if you can. Doesn’t matter with what, I’ll help if I can.”

“Seriously, he’s good,” Kaylie said. “Last time a friend of ours needed help, he spent three days awake brute-forcing the encryption key so the guy didn’t lose data to some malware.”

“A day and a half, Kaylie,” Malavera replied.

“Yes, and those are Khalan days, with a 48 hour day/night cycle,” Kaylie responded instantly.

“It wasn’t a big deal. And to be fair, I made Hunter do most of the work.”

“Doesn’t a Class 10 AI have better things to do than brute force an encryption key?” Kaylie asked.

“If my battle-station were fully operational, yes, Hunter would have better things to do. As it stands, a Class 7 could take over all the duties and have processing power left to spare. I convinced him to take it on as a bit of a puzzle, how fast can he come up with the key to decrypt this file. It took him a little over a day and a half,” Malavera replied. “And, between you and me, I think he might be above a Class 10, given how fast he got the answer.”

“Or someone used a shitty algorithm,” Kaylie said.

“Well, that’s possible, too,” Malavera replied, shutting down his laptop, closing the lid, and getting up so he could follow Kaylie back over to the Bricksley.

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