Welcome, at long, looooong last, to Cool Wall 5.
Previous Cool Wall challenges
Cool Wall 1: Used Car Shopping
Cool Wall 2: Yet Another Cool Wall Challenge
Cool Wall 3: Not Cool
Cool Wall 4: I’m Rich!
Welcome to Woodward, Oklahoma. The year is 2009, and your client is a young liquor store owner looking for a ride that would life her spirits and boost her standing.
There’s something sad about the phrase “24-year-old family business owner”. It should strike one as something that, in a kinder world, would have never been uttered. However, this is real life - and Samantha Daniels is indeed a 24-year-old family business owner. Her old man, a liquor store proprietor named Jack, passed away in 2007 from a very sudden illness - and while ‘Sam’ had worked as a hand at the store for some time before the tragedy, she now unexpectedly became sole owner and proprietor. And right on the eve of the worst economic downturn in recent memory, too.
But Samantha fought through the grief, the inexperience and the recession, and by 2009 - today - hope as well as some sort of financial stability are coming back. Sam has decided to start living rather than surviving - that means resuming her hobbies, expanding her social circle, and getting a couple of nice things.
One of those things is a nicer car. Her current car is her late father’s 1997 Pontiac Bonneville; it’s hardy and not even in that bad shape, but a) she would rather not have to see it every day and b) she always did want something more unusual. Now, Sam likes Woodward as a whole, but the bland Ford/GM-dominated automotive landscape of the town conditioned her to be fascinated by more out-of-the-ordinary cars. This has since been compounded by the Internet, which brings all sorts of fruit ranging from forums to bootleg rips of that one British car show. Why not own something interesting herself, now that the store’s cashflow isn’t so choked up it’s turning blue?
Some facts about Samantha:
- When she turned 16 and got her driver’s license, Samantha’s father got her a then-relatively fresh 1998 Chevrolet Cavalier. It was a shitspec manual coupe, but it served her well enough. She sold the Cavalier in 2008 when finances were tight.
- Samantha is fond of web art, having discovered Newgrounds as a teenager. She has since gathered a small (and entirely zero-profit) following there with her own creations.
- The only cars Samantha has a firm opinion of other than the two she’s owned are police cruisers - she hates the things. No, she’s never been in serious trouble with them - but an ex of hers bought a Crown Vic after it was decommissioned early and would not stop talking about the wretched thing.
- Samantha has a decent social circle even as is, consisting both of some of her old school friends as well as acquaintances of her father. None of them lack for transport.
- Trim year: between 1960 and 2009 (inclusive).
- Engine year: Same as Trim Year (no CW4-style engine swaps)
- Bodies from the Legacy Bodies Mod are banned
- Quality sliders: No higher than +10 each
- Engine stress overall: No greater than 20%
- Fuel requirement varies with trim year:
-92RON or 98RON leaded 1960-1972;
-91RON unleaded 1973-1982;
-91RON, 95RON or 98RON 1983-2009.
- No carbon fiber parts (Chassis Material, Panel Material, Rim Material, Brakes
- Purchase cost must not exceed $15,000 (See Max Price Table)
- Interiors are not required; if present, they may be used for photos and flavor text but not in the judgement.
Max Price Table
||Residual Value of Car
||Max Approximate Cost in Automation
Look for your car’s model year on the left, and you’ll find that year’s max cost on the right. If you want to know how much your car specifically is worth after depreciation, multiply its approximate cost by the percentage value / 100 for your car’s year (e.g. “0.5067” for 1987).
Start with the above distribution (+2 everywhere except turbos; 30 points in total) and add a maximum of 50 extra points for a total of 80. No techpool category may have a total value of more than 8.
While this isn’t a challenge with perfect balance anyhow, I will seek to balance it by discouraging choices which would raise eyebrows in the real world; in addition, I will levy penalties on things that would raise real-life costs and hassles.
As with CW4, you can try and gamble with this.
Unrealistic/uncharacteristic engineering: -2 to -8pts
This challenge does not call for CSR realism, but given the simple and public grading scheme I will be taking points off for all manners of uncharacteristic design - especially in cases where it constitutes ‘cheese’ - that is, the use of unrealistic engineering choices or combinations to get ahead.
1-2 point: One major element of engineering is off, or multiple minor engineering decisions seem questionable/contradictory. Visual design shows signs of modification or elements of it blatantly don’t match with the car’s engineering or time period.
3-5 points: Multiple mechanical traits about the car appear to be off, or the car has a combination of mechanical and visual issues. Visual discrepancies alone do not warrant this tier of penalty unless it’s something like a neon pink and green car with 6 spoilers. Engineering goofs like transverse–mounted boxer engines, or front drum brakes with rear disc brakes, go here.
6-8 points: A high number or severity of offenses from the lower tiers, with at least one being made for a “cheese” reason.
I do reserve the right to bin any car which is too unrealistic, though I don’t think I can imagine an entry getting that egregiously bad; the majority of instabins in the last several CSRs would have gotten away with minor to medium penalties in this challenge.
Engine Stress: 1-5pts
This is a discrete scale which represents acute concern over the engine literally blowing, on top of the lower reliability score you’ll get. If the combined reliability penalty in the Stress sidebar of the Engine Designer is:
21%+ is a bin.
Engine loudness too high: -1-2pts
- Engine loudness of 48.1-58: -1pt
- Engine loudness of 58.1 or more: -2pts
No entertainment: -2pts
No muffler: -2pts
Inappropriate catalytic converter arrangement: -2pts
A car with no catalytic converter on MY1975+ or two-way ones on MY1981+ will receive this penalty.
Complex Spring Types: -2pts
Hydropneumatic, Air and both Active spring types will be penalized due to their high failure risk factor, especially if old.
High Engine Bay Fill: -1-3pts
Engine Fill is penalized due to impairing repairability, and maintainability.
- Engine Bay Fill >85%: -1pt
- Engine Bay Fill >100%: -2pts
- Engine Bay Fill >120%: -3pts
95 or 98 RON fuel: -1pts
Self-explanatory: any higher-grade gas hurts peace of mind and the wallet, too.
Quality below -3: -1pt
Each area with lower quality than -3 will cost you a penalty point.
Scoring system explanation
A car’s “coolness” will be ranked on a scale of -20 to +20, with 20 being the coolest possible, and -20 being as uncool as possible. What qualifies as cool is explained in the “coolness” section.
All other categories are worth either 0-10 or 0-5 points. For each category, the best car will be assigned the highest value, the worst car gets the lowest value, and every other car’s value being assigned in relation (rounded to the nearest tenth). Here’s an example with real-life cars, taken from Edsel’s rounds:
The Trans Sport has the best practicality, so it gets a score of 10 in that segment. The Seville has the worst practicality, so it gets a score of 0. And the Astra? Its practicality is 1/3rd the difference between the best and worst cars, so it gets a score of 3.7.
Now let’s add a 4th competitor:
Since the Eclipse now has the worst practicality, it gets a score of 0. And since the bar is now been set lower, the Seville gets a score of 4.4 (2/5 the difference), and the Astra a score of 6.6 (3/5 the difference). The Trans Sport, still the best, still gets a score of 10.
Coolness is a measure of how valuable Samantha thinks the car is, and how much it agrees with her idea of style and flair. In order to give you reference points to base your designs off of, each contestant can select up to five real-life cars to place on The Cool Wall.
You can request an addition either directly in the thread - or, if you want the request to be anonymous, through a DM. Make sure to specify in text the make, model, year (or year range/generation), and if you feel it matters, the trim; don’t leave it to me to guess, because I may guess wrong. If at all possible, please supply me with the images of the cars you would like placed onto the cool wall.
Each contestant can also two questions about a given car’s cool-wall placement (such as “why is this car placed where it is?” or “Why are these 2 similar-looking cars rated so differently?”). Questions should be asked through DMs; questions about cool wall placement in the thread will be ignored.
This time around, there are no hints relating to body styles. You are going to have to experiment with your Cool Wall entries; to this point, you are allowed to suggest all your 5 allotted cars in a single batch or in multiple - though one-by-one would be very tedious for me so please do not.
Sam is not a ‘playboy’ in any sense; the new car will be her main mode of transportation, and as such she’s much prefer it if it started every morning. Especially coming from
Service Costs: 10pts
Likewise, Samantha has no desire for her personal conveyance to cut into her already somewhat tight margins. 2000-dollar optical distributor replacements? No thanks!
Between the Bonneville and her dad’s old Caprice Classic that came before it, Samantha has mostly driven or ridden in cars that are comfortable her whole life; and while she is setting her sights on something more unusual, what she isn’t looking for is a downgrade. And let’s not remember the Cavalier.
Samantha has long desired a car that’s more exciting to drive and makes her feel in control. The Bonneville is sleepy and wallowy, and Samantha is tired of coaxing vague responses out of it. Note that sporty or responsive doesn’t necessarily mean lightning fast. 7pts of this stat will be decided by the sportiness stat, and 3 more based on 0-60 (lower = better of course)
Base Cost: 5pts
While Sam has allotted her 15,000 budget to spend on the car, she wouldn’t mind saving on her purchase if the car in question is worthy. The leftover money could be put to good use elsewhere.
Samantha considers herself a competent driver, and isn’t sure she needs the latest word in driving assistance - but wrestling for control with her daily still isn’t her idea of a good time. She is considering cars from eras as far away as the 1960s, but those aren’t exempt: the car has to behave.
Fuel Economy: 5pts
Nobody enjoys spending more at the pump, even if fuel is cheap: again, margins. The new car doesn’t have to be a miser, but it should not be overly gluttonous.
While Sam cares about her personal satisfaction with the car and her perception of it more, it pays to own something others respect and appreciate. If Samantha got something cool to her but objectively a shitbox, people would still think she was cheaping out.
Interior Volume: 5pts
Cars are versatile things; Samantha has always been wise to that. And even though her father and her have always owned sedans and coupes, even those can fit a lot in a pinch - with proper finagling.
The stat being measured is a sum of the car’s cargo and passenger volume.
Environmental Resistance: 5pts
Samantha knows that the worst part about getting a used car is that you never know where it might have been. As such, it would be best if the car could handle neglect.
Sam doesn’t live in a massively large city with massively dangerous drivers, but it helps to know that her car won’t crush like a can or impale her if she does get into an accident. And if there’s airbags? She might even avoid a concussion.
Car model & Engine Family: CW5 – [YourForumUserename]
Car Trim, Engine Family: (your choice)
Rules deliberation will continue until June 25 at 11:59 PM CDT, at which point submissions will open.
Submissions will close on July 7, 11:59 PM CDT. Cool wall submissions are currently being accepted, but won’t be added until after deliberation ends.
A submission requires a .car file compliant with the above naming scheme to be sent to me through forum DMs as well as an ad/listing/however you wish to style it to be posted in this thread. I will allow a single resubmit if your car is noncompliant with base rules - which I will inform you of.
Feedback welcome and encouraged during rules deliberation; questions are also welcome. I may initiate edits myself; I’m not sure the brief is finished/fleshed out enough as is.
Current Cool Wall: