Shitbox Rally
Stage 8: Vallengarda to Addavuul
Stage Start: 1 Sun, 26/7/3251, Vallengarda Campsite
Weather at Stage Start: Hot. It’s absolutely pouring rain, visibility is reduced as a result, and it’s not even cold rain, it’s warm.
Weather at mid-stage: Still hot, still chucking it down, but now the wind has added to the chaos by making it occasionally rain sideways.
Weather at Stage End (First Car): Hot, still raining but not as heavily, still windy.
Weather at 7 Sun: Warm, the rain finally stops and the sun begins to peek out from behind the clouds, as the wind dies down.
Weather at Stage End (Last Car): Warm, humid, with a gentle breeze.
Stage End (First Car): A little after 3-and-60 Sun, 26/7/3251, Addavuul Campsite.
Stage End (Last Car): A little after 1-and-20 Moon, 26/7/3251, Addavuul Campsite.
The rain hasn’t let up from last night, and instead, it has only gotten worse. What was a dirt road leading out of Vallengarda has now been saturated with water, turning into nasty, slick, clingy mud. What might have been a somewhat fun dirt road a couple days ago has turned into a mud pit that people back on Earth would be enjoying with heavily modified 4x4 rigs. With several winding turns, a couple of railroad crossings, hills, dips, and gallons of mud, it’s a grueling slog for everyone. Thankfully, as everyone nears Addavuul, there’s more gravel and less mud, and the Addavuul campsite is a large gravel patch. Nearby, there’s an old, boarded up, abandoned mine, complete with an old minecart sitting out in front, filthy with coal dust in spite of years of weather trying to wash the dust away. Some of the buildings around the place also point to this mine having closed a while ago, as the roofs are in rough shape, though some still provide shelter against the rain. As the day continues onward, the rain eases up, though the ground is still slick with mud.
Notes: Randomization is active. Breakdowns are active. Time is in Earth Time.
NOTE!
For the next handful of stages, I’ll be releasing these every other week. This means Stage 9 will be out on June 6. Long story short, I’ve had way more role-playing going on than I expected, and I’ve realized if I’m going to keep up with all of it, plus the challenge duties, I need more time than just one week. Seriously, I wrote some of this on Sunday, the day before this was supposed to go live. This is only temporary, so don’t worry. I’m not ending the challenge early, I’m not canceling the challenge, and I’m not putting it on hold. I’m just slowing things down for a period of time to give myself more time to work with. Likewise, this should also help the big story writers out there, because instead of trying to cram art and story into one week, you’ll have two weeks to do it.
Team Shift Happens
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 06:13:23
Average MPH: 57.0
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
When it came to picking a driver, it came down to who has off-road experience. The only one who had any in a somewhat modern vehicle was Kivenaal, who has an off-road converted Bricksley Knight convertible that he uses, on occasion, to shame people in proper off-road rigs. Kivenaal, behind the wheel of the Highwayman, absolutely sent it, getting mud everywhere and claiming second place, only being slowed down when he had to wait for a train.
Team Wayfarers
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:39:39
Average MPH: 62.7
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Who knew that Chernobog liked the mud bog so much? Despite being up to the axles deep in the mud in places, and so heavily caked in mud from the tires that the truck looks mud brown now, the mighty Bogatir drags itself into the camp. It’s filthy, but this is what first place looks like when it decides to dump a weeks worth of rain in one day.
Team Gearknobs
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 10:20:11
Average MPH: 34.3
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
The ballsy move of bringing the Japanese hatchback to a long-distance rally didn’t pay off today. The Carica, despite being driven hard, spends an awful lot of time with the engine screaming, the tires spinning at 90 miles an hour, and going all of 30 miles per hour for doing so.
Team Fallen Angels of the Past
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 11:22:31
Average MPH: 31.2
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Like the other RWD vehicles out there, the Claussient struggles into the mud and almost immediately gets stuck. A clever strategy of backing up through the mud is done instead, and more progress is made that way, despite the slow speed.
Team Slow
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:15:54
Average MPH: 42.9
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
While the XL53 doesn’t really like the mud, it does power through it just fine.
Team Oil Crisis
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:47:31
Average MPH: 40.4
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
The Magistrate crawls through the mud pit quite nicely, although it’s hard to keep everyone under control when the tanks run dry and the team has to refuel. Dyre pups and mud mix all too well, and now there is mud inside the Magistrate. Just before everyone gets going, a mud-ball splatters on the windshield, leading to a hasty cleaning and a hurried double-check to make sure that was the only mud-ball the cheeky pups had.
Team Hillbilly Rollers
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:37:02
Average MPH: 36.9
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Not exactly quick, but the van makes it in one very muddy piece. Marie desperately wants a beer. Janne and Andreas have applied duct tape to the worst of the cracks in the broken windshield to keep the rain out. At some point along the stage, the atomic-pink van (now almost looking like a hideous attempt at camouflage between the pink and the mud) has to come to a stop for a level crossing. Instead of the expected slow, lumbering freight train, it’s Team RK Series Racing gliding along the rails.
Team Witchlight
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 10:43:32
Average MPH: 33.1
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Rear wheel drive and mud are not great friends. It’s a good thing that Ambay is quite strong, because on multiple occasions, he’s the one getting the car out of the mud. After a while, it’s Finne who gets a brilliant idea to wrap the rear tires in chains. After finding an ancient, forgotten set of rusty snow chains in the trunk, figuring out how to put them on, and getting back into the car, they crawl along at a snail’s pace, though on the other hand, they are moving.
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:54:46
Average MPH: 39.8
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Duct tape holds the world together, and in this case, it keeps the cargo in place. The Kontir splashes into the mud, and the small 1.9 liter engine struggles hard to pull through, but it somehow manages to hold up. The time won’t win any records, but at least you made it into the camp.
Team Blazers
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:56:51
Average MPH: 44.6
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
The lovely red paint is now mud brown, the windshield and side windows are streaked and caked with the stuff, and the Yamada desperately needs the wash that mother nature is sending down, but today, nothing went wrong.
Team Machinas Con Passiones
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:10:25
Average MPH: 38.7
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 4
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Other than the improvised roof hatch leaking quite heavily in the pouring rain, the four fuel stops, and the minivan looking like someone pulled an ancient dustbuster out of the mud, things went well for Team MCP today.
Team Quick Rally 47
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:56:49
Average MPH: 35.7
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Like the last time, it turns out that oil safety switch is a blessing and a curse. It keeps the engine from lunching itself when there is a problem, but when it keeps getting unplugged, it causes delays. This was made worse by the rain, because no one enjoys “hunt for the muddy connector” in the rain.
Team Mrezhari
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07.18.02
Average MPH: 48.6
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
It has almost become a routine: Chow down on MREs for breakfast, wash it down with energy drinks, slam the racing helmets on before anyone gets a look at you, hop into your trusty Dunav, and then proceed to kill another stage. Today, it’s blinding rain and mud, but the Dunav doesn’t care.
Team Jockey
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 16:39:45
Average MPH: 21.3
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
A little car, four people, and RWD in this mess, it’s a miracle they made it at all. On several occasions, the team had to get out and push in the mud to unstick the Yinzer, usually followed by getting it badly stuck again just a mile further down the road.
Team RK Series Racing
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:31:05
Average MPH: 37.3
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
While everyone else was fighting with the nasty mud bog, Robert was loaded onto the rails and sent on its way. Sadly, the branch line doesn’t want you going more than 70 MPH, the weather makes it hard to see to go quickly, and the line sent you through two small stations before arriving at Addavuul. On the plus side, the only delays were caused by things out of your control, and you got to see Team Shift Happens and, later on, Team Hillbilly Rollers waiting for you at two separate railroad crossings.
Team Black Rabbit
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 10:38:04
Average MPH: 33.4
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
Like the other RWD vehicles out there, the Dauer really struggles in the mud. Even being driven hard, making no mistakes, and not getting stuck isn’t quite enough to make up a time gap on the speeding trucks, SUVs, and crossovers with an extra set of drive wheels.
Team Spy Kids
Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:07:02
Average MPH: 49.9
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 2664
What a surprise, the machine built to handle bad roads, and modified to handle even worse roads, handles being dipped in the mud just fine. Of course, there’s no trace of the original paint, it’s all under a thick layer of mud, but third place is nice, right? Plus all this rain will eventually wash that away.
Stage Finishing Order:
05:39:39 - Team Wayfarers
06:13:23 - Team Shift Happens
07:07:02 - Team Spy Kids
07:18:02 - Team Mrezhari
07:56:51 - Team Blazers
08:15:54 - Team Slow
08:47:31 - Team Oil Crisis
08:54:46 - Team Mravolinski-Chitco
09:10:25 - Team Machinas Con Passiones
09:31:05 - Team RK Series Racing
09:37:02 - Team Hillbilly Rollers
09:56:49 - Team Quick Rally 47
10:20:11 - Team Gearknobs
10:38:04 - Team Black Rabbit Corporation
10:43:32 - Team Witchlight
11:22:31 - Team Fallen Angels of the Past
16:39:45 - Team Jockey
Team Shift Happens
Previous Chapters:
Cinnamon and Apologies - Stage 5 Drive and Stage 5 Camp
An Apology / Campsite Stories / I Have Gas! - Stage 5 Camp (Collab with Knugcab - Original Title: “Gimme Oxygen!”)
The Prank - Collab. with SurrealCereal (Team MCP)
A Tent-ative Meeting - Stage 5 Camp
Engine Troubles / Racing Stripes - Stage 6 Drive and Camp
Capt’n Crazy Capsizes - Stage 6 Camp Collab with Knugcab
Not the Face! - Stage 6 Camp Collab with Knugcab
The Saber of Light - Stage 6 Collab written by TheYugo45GV
Begging for Mercy - Stage 6 Camp
“Not It!” - Stage 7 Drive and Camp
Don’t Drink and Drive - Stage 7 Camp
“Green Light” - Stage 7 Camp Collab written by TheYugo45GV
Window Repairs / Driving Lessons / Natural-1 Moment - Stage 7 Camp Collab with Elizipeazie (Part 1), (Part 2), (Part 3)
Vallengarda Campsite, 10 Moon
Kaylie groaned as she heard the rain still coming down. “Why is it still raining?” she grumbled.
Jayde gave a pained growl as he sat up in the tent. “Welcome to Crugandr,” he said, opening his bag and pulling one small, pleasant-smelling leaf out of a jar. “By the way,” he added, putting the leaf in his mouth and swallowing it, “I’m not driving today. I just took a mercy leaf because my leg and my back feel like I’ve gotten in a fight with a Dyre.”
“Not a problem,” Kaylie replied, also sitting in the tent. “Worst part of all this rain is it means a cold breakfast.”
As the two of them left the tent, with Jayde in his heavy black robe and Kaylie dressed in a pale blue shirt and shorts, they joined Kayden, Malavera, Rukari, and Kivenaal all sitting around what was once a campfire. Breakfast ended up being ham and cheese sandwiches, courtesy of Jayde’s bread and cheese supply, and Kivenaal’s shopping trip the day before providing some smoked and salted ham.
“So, who’s driving?” Malavera asked.
“The road’s going to be a swamp,” Rukari replied. “I’ve never driven in conditions like this.”
“Jayde can’t drive, he’s in a lot of pain and took a mercy leaf. And I don’t know enough about off-roading to try this,” Kaylie admitted.
“If this thing had two more axles, I’d try,” Malavera said.
Before Kayden could even announce that he was willing if no one else was going to drive, Kivenaal said, “I have a little off-road experience. A Bricksley Knight that I made into a 4x4, I’ve taken it out a few times to really shame people in multi-thousand-dollar rigs. Mud like this is a bit nastier than I’ve done before, but I’m willing to try it.”
Vallengarda Campsite, 1 Sun
The rain kept pouring down even as the clock in Vallengarda’s town square rang out one lone time, announcing it was 1 Sun. Jayde got up first and made his way to the truck, climbing into the middle seat in the rear bench with a grimace and a groan. Kaylie took her usual seat with Rukari stuck in the back row driver’s window seat to keep him away from the pedals. Kayden was in the front mid bench, with Malavera to his right, and Kivenaal behind the wheel to his left.
The Bricksley roared to life and scattered mud everywhere as Kivenaal crammed it into first gear and 4-low, quickly ripping through the gears across the campsite.
On the Road
With locked differentials and a heavy right foot, Kivenaal threw the Bricksley into the mud. Immediately, the rear windows became covered in mud splatter, the truck squirmed underneath them as all four all-terrain tires tried to find some grip, and the engine snarled in response to the increased load.
“Can we try not to throw me around?” Jayde grumbled.
“Sorry. It’s mud, it’s going to be rough,” Kivenaal said.
“Next time, Jayde, lift with your legs, not with your back,” Kaylie said, though even she groaned as Kivenaal sent it over a dirt mound and got all four wheels off the ground.
“Fucking hell!” Malavera said with a grimace. “Don’t do that again!”
Kivenaal avoided the second one, but in the process, ended up lining up on a third one just as the Bogatir of Team Wayfarers shot past. The Bricksley took flight yet again, and Malavera scrambled around in the glove-box for the air-sickness bags he’d stashed in there, promptly losing his breakfast.
“Quit hitting jumps!” Kaylie yelled to Kivenaal. “Malavera can’t handle negative G’s!”
“Sorry, there was a truck there!” Kivenaal replied, sloshing the truck around the next corner as Malavera dropped the sick-bag into a plastic bag and tied it shut.
Another hill sent them sliding down in the mud where they reached the bottom with a hearty splash, getting mud up onto the windshield, the roof rack, the water cans, and all over the contents of the bed.
“This is going to be a bitch to clean,” Kayden groaned.
“It is raining sideways. The truck will be clean by morning,” Rukari said.
As they soared up another hill, three windshield wipers running on “Fast” mode, a crossing guard closed the gate, blocking the road leading up to the tracks. Kivenaal stomped on the clutch and the brake, the truck shuddering slightly as the back end kicked out and threatened to become the front end, hauling the big truck to a stop mere feet from the gate. They heard a whistle in the distance and Kivenaal scowled. “Even out here, I get stuck waiting for freight trains! This better not be a two-mile-long coal hauler!” Kivenaal grumbled. Then, they heard the whistle again, closer this time, a few long moments before the Dione of Team RK Series Racing rushed past. “What the fuck?” Kivenaal said, staring at where the Dione had gone. “How did they… When did they do that!?” Kivenaal asked.
“Are you blind?” Kayden quipped. “They had it parked next to our truck yesterday with that rail system on there.”
“Right, I’m never taking cinnamon again,” Kivenaal said, as the gate was finally opened. He put his foot down and the engine roared as the Bricksley clawed its way through the mud, up and over the railroad crossing, and back into the mud.
A couple of hours, a bunch of turns, a few hundred gallons of mud, a fuel stop, and two barf-bags later, Kivenaal saw a second railroad crossing, this time wide open with no trains nearby.
“No. No! Don’t you dare!” Malavera yelled as Kivenaal floored it up the slight uphill grade. The Bricksley left the ground almost gracefully, all four tires spinning and slinging mud, black sooty fumes blasting out of the exhaust, before crashing back down to the ground with a clattering, rattling thud. Malavera, likewise, filled another barf bag, adding it to his plastic bag that now contained four of them. “Keep. The. Truck. On. The. Ground!” Malavera yelled.
Not long afterward, they saw the mining camp approaching, along with a nice wooden sign saying, “Welcome to Addavuul” by the road. Kivenaal fought with the truck as it kicked the back end out sideways and managed to hit the sign with mud just before arriving on the gravel road.
Addavuul Campsite, 4-and-16 Sun
As the Bricksley crunched its way, filthy and dirty, into the old gravel-covered mining camp, everyone in the truck was relieved that the long drive was over.
“I’ll be keeping an eye on the rings,” Rukari said.
“Not a problem. Chances are, some teams will have to tow each other out of that mess,” Kayden said, “but there’s always the chance that someone ends up left far behind.”
“Fucking rain’s going to make lunch almost impossible, though,” Kaylie said.
Jayde shook his head, clearing a space around a fire pit, pulling four sticks and a large, perforated square of leather out of his bag, driving the sticks into the ground around the fire pit, and then securing the leather. Kivenaal grabbed several large pieces of firewood out of the Bricksley’s bed-mounted toolbox-of-holding, brought them over to the fire pit, and helped get them lit.
“Now we have a weather-resistant cooking fire,” Jayde said.
Malavera looked miserable as he found a garbage barrel and put his four paper barf bags into it. “Kivenaal,” Malavera said, “if you ever jump the truck again, I’m going to knock your lights out.”