So… since this is the last stage, are we going to get the winner revealed soon? Just asking, no stress. 
The finishing times will need to be calculated, but otherwise they should be in soon
Ok, seems i DO need to join in.
Madrias did calculations, but is not entirely sure about when to release Conclusion part.
This part being convoying out of world back to Nevada
I feel thats where results will be revealed
Speaking of which, you two should check out discussion in Discord and make yourselves heard.
Results are all in the Conclusion. I just need to know whether it’s better to keep to my schedule, or release the conclusion early.
You know, I wonder if this works…
When should I release the conclusion to SR 2022?
- Release the Results Tomorrow!
- Release the Results Next Week!
0 voters
Note: I’d honestly rather release this early. There’s a lot of shit going on in my life right now, and I’d honestly rather get the results out to you guys early and not have to worry that I might not be able to get the results out later. But, if you guys want to take the chance that shit might go wrong (we’ve had a run of really, really bad luck here for about the last 6 months, so I’m not counting on there being any good luck left, honestly), I’ll hold off on releasing the results.
Just be aware that, if you ask me to wait, and things go very wrong, you guys could be waiting far longer than just a week for results.
1 Like
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Last stage
Mentions Team Jockey by @NoahC in first part
Leaving camp and achieving symmetry
This would be hard decision to make: do i wake up rest of team and make them somehow pile up in cab or do i drive as is, with few of them in bed area?
After some thought, decision was made and rest was hastily woken up and hurried into the cab.
With them all in cab, Chicota had assumed his position and started the stage.
As was feared, one part of route meant going through forest again but this time no accidents awaited inside of forest alone, which prompted driver to step on it a little.
However, almost exit was quite crude awakening, bcos some loose gravel combined with high speed meant truck started to drift to the left.
Resulting smack into tree crudely awakened everyone on board which was kinda inevitable seeing that cargo did spread around again.
Doing same stuff again as in twice in two days would not contribute to morale of team, but atleast we were also kinda used to this activity.
This however would not be only thing that had happened with that frequency as, just as it was case yesterday, other team had suffered bcos of cargo spillage.
This time it was Team Jockey instead of pink brick and on place of our spare tire we had some piece of sheetmetal.
No amount of “Stop!” or “Slow down!” could have contributed to them avoiding the certain fate.
But…maybe Jockeys did look forward to some changing of tire, bcos it meant being out of their tiny vehicle.
Regardless, they prob pulled out lesser evil of two, seeing that waiting for us to clean up would hold them back more than said tire…as seen by fact they finished stage before us.
Ofc we couldnt see their finishing position that clearly at that moment, but it was long way to go before us actually getting on move again and them needing to change tire was kinda inevitable by looks of things.
Some of gravel had exited the bed…and found itself being part of this road now, more precisely was added to part of road with loose gravel that contributed to our crash by Chicota.
“Look at me. Im road maintenance now.”
Rest chuckled.
“We will keep rest of it that still remains in bed. Doesnt make much sense to do job of actual road maintenance while in race.”
“What about that bit of gravel you did applied there?”
“Seems it was meant to be there. Also why bother re-adding it to bed when it met its true purpose here?”
There is not awful lot of excitement as we started moving again, noting we havent seen tiny Yinzer on side of road.
“Their tire was completely fucked up by that sheetmetal. We should have seen them in last 1.6 km (1 mile) but yet we dont.”
“So you think they changed it already?”
“Seems like it.”
“Ocean…look there!”
Camping and swimming
People that needed to change into swimwear would find way to do so. Most of team had decided to pile up in water, enjoying little bit of swim and relaxing.
As per usual, Mrdja decided to stay in water just that bit longer.
Our symmetrically dented truck was now prepared to camp…for likely the last time in this world.
This truly interesting bunch had gathered their thoughts.
Mrdja didnt liked the fact car wasnt exactly equipped with air conditioning coupling that with overall high temperatures in this area, but adventure itself was mostly fun.
Car was however in very good condition at the start and just proved to keep so during this long and grueling event. This gave hope it will sufficiently serve Pi in her next adventure, which will prob make this look like short, but useful trial.
Pi herself was also in quite a good condition and we are talking about member who is by far most prone to getting injured.
Apart from the fact that we were overall kinda tired considering events of both yesterday and today, we are fine.
As phones of VerBanka and Mrdja were charging up and everyone drifted to sleep, decision was made on who will be driving to Nevada, as in as part of convoy in which we will return to Earth.
2 Likes
(Nevermind, I managed to change my vote)
TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
Earlier parts
PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!
PART 3.1 - DISCO TJO DISCO HEJ
PART 4.0 - Calm after the storm
PART 5.0 - Mirror mirror on the…oh, crap!
PART 5.1 - Hello, little puppies!
PART 6.1 - GIMME OXYGEN! (feat. Madrias)
PART 6.2 - Steamin’ hot! (feat. Elizipeazie)
PART 7.1 - Marie the valkyrie?
PART 7.3 - Time to tie things up.
PART 8.1 - The new team member
PART 9.1 - Co-op with Madrias and Elizipeazie
PART 10.1 - Co-op with Variationofvariables
PART 11.0 - Why is this van so damn fast?
PART 11.1 - Co-op with Madrias
PART 11.2 - Demons and dragons bullshit
PART 11.3 - Oops, thank you, Kaylie!
PART 12.0 - Snap, crackle and pop!
PART 12.1 - The fire breathing jalopy
PART 12.2 - Written by Madrias
PART 12.3 - Bumpin’ the bumper
PART 13.0 - A jawdroppin’ ride
PART 13.1 - The monsters under the bed were real, after all!
PART 18.0 - WHEEEEEE KA-CHUNK
Somewhat upset over lack of sleep due to the noise team Mravolinski-Chitco made, our friends woke up for the last stint of SR2022. And Andreas was not going to lift his foot off the accelerator this time. This was the last chance to save the position after all the earlier mishaps, and if the van was going to die, at least it was going to die as a hero.
“You are driving pretty fast for having shocks more or less made of cotton and cam bearings made of beer cans”, Janne said.
“I don’t care! This brick has survived all of our abuse this far, why would it die today?”, he answered.
“What are you guys going to do when we get home?”, Marie asked. “I am going to drink beer!”
“Oh, I could never have gue…”, Andreas started to answer when all of a sudden….
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE….KA-CHUNK!
The van was revving like crazy between the gears, that was going in about as smoothly as a square brick in a round hole.
“Great, is the gearbox on its last le…”
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE….KA-CHUNK!
“PLEASE LITTLE SHITBOX VAN, DON’T GIVE UP NOW, RAAAHHHH!”, Andreas shouted almost in panic.
“There are plenty of those boxes, you know, it was introduced in the Icarus already in the early eighti…”, Janne started to answer.
“YEAH AND THERE IS A GODDAMNED 1982 ICARUS BEHIND EVERY BUSH HERE, OF COURSE, I MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT!”
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……….KA-CHUNKKKKKKK!
“You know what…I don’t care if we have to pull this goddamned thing behind Sonic to reach camp, I will put my foot down and I won’t release it until all the hope is gone!”, Andreas said with a sigh.
WHEEEEEEE….KA-CHUNK…:WROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…
“WHY THE HELL DID IT GEAR DOWN NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN?”, he yelled.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…KA-CHUNK….WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“I can’t stand this”, Andreas said and bashed the dashboard hard with his fist. “Will we fail when being this close?”
“Well, so far nobody has passed us”, Janne said. “Don’t sweat, I doubt that it will be a total meltdown”.
And rolling in first in camp, that seemed to be true. Now, was our team going to gain a place on the podium, or….?
TO BE CONTINUED
2 Likes
Shitbox Rally
Stage 18: Tapari to Nevada
The Finale
Stage Start: 1 Sun, 1/8/3251, Tapari Campsite / City Center
Weather at Stage Start: Hot (34C), mild humidity, a decent breeze.
Weather at mid-stage: Cool (24C), a dark blue sky greets you with swirling light-blue clouds, the air is mildly humid, and there’s a distinct lack of wind.
Weather at Stage End: Warm (30C), dry desert air with light clouds in the sky, a light breeze.
Stage End: 2 PM, March 22, 2022, Shitbox Rally Starting Line, Nevada, the United States.
One last look at the sunrise in Crugandr while breakfast is made leads into the total chaos that is trying to get everyone through Tapari’s carriage shed (now turned into a doorway into the Rift) in an orderly fashion. Once inside, the Rift welcomes everyone back with a reprieve from the searing heat of Crugandr. Like we did on our trip into Crugandr, we travel in a convoy, limited by the pace of the slowest vehicles.
The trip feels longer this time, no thanks to the severely reduced speeds caused by several cars here. However, it doesn’t take too long for the portal back to Nevada to make itself seen, and as we roll on through, one at a time, we return to where it all began. 18 days away from the original camp hasn’t had as much of an effect on things as one might think, considering some people did stay behind to maintain it. As such, the closing ceremony can begin after a late lunch or early dinner.
Notes: The run has concluded, the times for this stage are calculated. This “stage,” like Stage 0, does not count.
Team Shift Happens
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0 (Towed)
Race Time: 119:56:50
Race Avg. Speed: 53.7 MPH
Team Wayfarers
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 120:19:44
Race Avg. Speed: 51.6 MPH
Team Gearknobs
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 115:53:05
Race Avg. Speed: 54.6 MPH
Team Fallen Angels of the Past
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 129:15:02
Race Avg. Speed: 51.6 MPH
Team Oil Crisis
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 1
Race Time: 111:24:32
Race Avg. Speed: 58.4 MPH
Team Hillbilly Rollers
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 101:50:04
Race Avg. Speed: 61.9 MPH
Team Witchlight
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 127:08:04
Race Avg. Speed: 51.5 MPH
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 129:59:19
Race Avg. Speed: 48.7 MPH
Team Machinas Con Passiones
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 2
Race Time: 126:59:42
Race Avg. Speed: 49.2 MPH
Team Quick Rally 47
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 104:47:57
Race Avg. Speed: 59.0 MPH
Team Mrezhari
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 106:11:36
Race Avg. Speed: 57.2 MPH
Team Jockey
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 1
Race Time: 131:58:00
Race Avg. Speed: 50.8 MPH
Team RK Series Racing
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 122:36:52
Race Avg. Speed: 55.8 MPH
Team Black Rabbit
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 130:21:03
Race Avg. Speed: 48.8 MPH
Team Spy Kids
Distance Traveled: 177.6
Time (HH:MM:SS): 05:55:12
Average MPH: 30
Refueling Stops: 0
Race Time: 102:09:13
Race Avg. Speed: 58.8 MPH
Race Finishing Order:
101:50:04 – Team Hillbilly Rollers
102:09:13 – Team Spy Kids
104:47:57 – Team Quick Rally 47 (The Quantum Xenoanthropology Research Team)
106:11:36 – Team Mrezhari
111:24:32 – Team Oil Crisis
115:53:05 – Team Gearknobs
119:56:50 – Team Shift Happens
120:19:44 – Team Wayfarers
122:36:52 – Team RK Series Racing
126:59:42 – Team Machinas Con Passiones
127:08:04 – Team Witchlight
129:15:02 – Team Fallen Angels of the Past
129:59:19 – Team Mravolinski-Chitco
130:21:03 – Team Black Rabbit Corporation
131:58:00 – Team Jockey
DNF: Team Blazers
DSQ: Team Slow
So, awards from the host, then:
Congratulations to @Knugcab, @SheikhMansour, and @AndiD for being First, Second, and Third respectively in this race. Not just did the three of you have good all-purpose vehicles, you had enough luck on your side to avoid the worst of things.
To the Roleplayers… Thank you! All of you who posted made this challenge fun. I know some hosts would give RP credit, but… No. Not here. You all made this good, and picking a favorite would be impossible. It doesn’t matter whether you did one post or a hundred, if you participated, you made this fun for everyone.
The Ballsy award goes to… Team Black Rabbit Corporation! (@Tzuyu_main) Showing up with a stripped-down, race-prepped road-rally car was… Maybe not the greatest decision. However, through luck, RNG, and perhaps a little bit of good design, you managed to not be last. Also, I love the livery on the Dauer.
Will there be another one of these? Probably. But I seriously need some time away from spreadsheets. This has been fun, but now I’ve learned why so many people run these for 6 to 8 weeks and wrap it up. This was hard work, but because the community kept doing so much for the writing, I was inspired to keep going.
Team Shift Happens will return.
Shitbox Rally 2023… Will probably happen sometime next year.
Team Shift Happens
Previous Chapters:
Kayden Murders a Clutch - Stage 12 Drive and Camp
Redemption, Realizations, and Repairs - Stage 13 Drive and Camp
Curious Dyre - Stage 13 Camp Final
The Bed is Wrecked - Stage 14 Camp & Drive
Helping a Friend (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 14) - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Stage 15 Details
Breakdowns, Steam, and Late Night Repairs (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 15) - Part 1, Part 2
Stage 16 Details
Finishing the Repairs / Riding the Steel Highway (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 16 Drive) - Part 1, Part 2
Taking Out The Trash (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 16 Camp)
Arrival in Tapari - Stage 17 Drive and Camp
1 Sun, Tapari City Center
Now hitched up behind the Dione, the great lumbering beast that was the Bricksley was hauled forward toward the glowing blue portal. Malavera once again took the wheel, with Kayden and Kivenaal sharing the front bench, leaving Rukari, Jayde, and Kaylie out back. As the bell rang to announce the time, Robert up front pulled hard, dragging the dead truck behind it into the portal as well. Behind them, every other team jockeyed for position to get through, complete with some bumper scuffs, blaring horns, and swearing.
On The Road
This time, the speed was set at 30 miles per hour. Between the Dione towing a vehicle far heavier than itself, the Bricksley with a dead engine, the “V6 - 1” powered dustbuster van of Team Machinas Con Passiones angrily rattling forward while still chugging fuel, and the Towering Pile of Shit sitting on the back of Team Mravolinski-Chitco’s Kontir Cunningham, it just wasn’t seen as advisable to go any faster than that.
The Convoy of Crap cruised carelessly through the Rift, with moments of vehicles, on occasion, traveling up to 5 wide just because they could. Team Oil Crisis again played bumper tag, this time crashing into the back of the Mara Kanyon of Quick Rally 47, then side-swiped Team Witchlight, and finally banged into the side of the Bricksley, prompting Kaylie to yell at them, “You break this tow-bar, I’m going to beat you with it!”
After a long while of cruising, two fuel stops for Team MCP’s thirsty van, a stop in between for pretty much everyone else who needed gas, and a further stop caused by Team Black Rabbit deciding that, if Oil Crisis wanted to trade paint, they’d return the favor and spun the big wagon out with a well-executed PIT maneuver, the portal to Nevada was in sight.
Once again, everyone had to line up, and they rolled out into the bright Nevada sun.
2:00 PM, Nevada, Shitbox Rally Campsite
Jaden looked up as the doors opened, followed by 15 cars in a single-file line at slow-cruise. The first thing he noticed was just how beat up all of the cars were. The second thing he noticed was that the deafening Bricksley was silent. The third thing was the outrageous mess that was Robert, the once normal tangerine brick turned into a primitive high-railer, complete with brass, a giant boiler in the back, and, as he found out, a fucking steam whistle.
“So, what happened out there?” Jaden asked the rest of the Shift Happens crew.
“Dead water pump, blew the head gaskets,” Kaylie said. “Got a tow for the last two stages and a tow home.”
“And the story behind, well, that?” Jaden asked, pointing to the Tangerine Tank Engine.
“Distributor failure, followed by brilliant inspiration and a lot of work. Then they decided rails were better than roads,” Malavera said.
“I see. You know what, I’ll just go get some burgers ready for everyone, and then we can deal with the awards ceremony,” Jaden replied.
3:00 PM
With a large plastic box sitting next to the Bricksley’s open hood attached to the battery terminals, Kaylie cranked up the PA system once again and stood on the dented toolbox to deal with the closing ceremony.
“Well, friends, here we are. Back where we all started from. Almost 5,700 miles later, not counting our little drives there and back again. We’re a couple teams short, obviously. Team Blazers, I hope that you’re able to make peace with what happened out there. Accidents are terrible at the best of times, and while we all knew the risks of rally racing, well, no one expects to die out there. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. To Team Slow, who drove drunk in one stage, this is exactly why we don’t let that happen. A team, perfectly sober, wrecked out. This is why you were disqualified back then and sent home.”
Kaylie grabbed the roof rack for a bit of support, then said, “So, there are 15 of us left. Rukari has collected the rings and calculated the driving times,” she stopped to accept a sheet of weathered parchment from Rukari at that moment, and could be heard muttering, “Twin Suns, your handwriting is hard to read, Rukari,” before she continued with, “so we’ll soon be able to tell you who finished first. At least, as soon as I find someone who can read this shit.”
Kivenaal grabbed both the sheet of parchment and the microphone, then read out, “At 4 days, 5 hours, 50 minutes and 4 seconds, first place is… Team Hillbilly Rollers!” He waited for the shouting and cheers and congratulations to die down, then continued, “In second place, at 4 days, 6 hours, 9 minutes, and 13 seconds, it’s… Team Spy Kids!” Like before, he waited until things quieted down some, then announced, “Living up to their namesake, at 4 days, 8 hours, 47 minutes, and 57 seconds, give a round of applause for third place, it’s Quick Rally 47!” He noticed above the cheers and applause that the two men in QR-47 were looking a bit nervous, and he sent Kayden over to chat.
Kayden was surprised to learn, as he got closer, that they weren’t supposed to be setting records. In that moment he quipped, “Who was the second man on the Moon? No one really remembers second place, let alone third. Yes, you made the podium… In an unofficial race with us holding the only time sheet. Relax.”
Jayde, likewise, stood behind them and said quietly after Kayden wandered away, “You can still do your observations. You’ll get more useful data anyway, being in the top three.” He grinned as they stared at him like deer facing a Dyre, then said, “You think I haven’t noticed the note-taking? I practice magic, it’s my job to be observant. Let’s be honest here, I don’t think anyone here really cares what you were doing, because you were racing with us.” As he walked away, he looked over at Kivenaal, who gave him a thumbs up before waving to QR-47.
Kaylie, on the other hand, approached Janne, Andreas, and Marie, then pulled out $2,000 from her wallet. “There was no real official prize, but we figured, if the budget for the car was two-grand, paying that back to the winners would be a good idea,” Kaylie admitted.
Kivenaal then announced, “So, some awards before we let all of you make and enjoy the party. Of course, all you win are some bragging rights, so there’s no actual value in these, but they are fun. First, the Ballsy award. This goes to whoever we think brought the least suitable car for the job. There was an argument between Team Jockey and Team Black Rabbit, but we’re giving it to the women in the Dauer! You brought one awesome looking car. Sadly, I’d guess it’s probably tuned for street and gravel rally, not off-road driving, and so you got a little bit beaten up out there.”
“Heroic Fix is a no brainer, just by the name. It goes to the team who yanked victory from the jaws of defeat by extraordinary means with one hell of a repair. Team RK Series Racing, you also get some bragging rights for making a steam engine out of your Dione. You’ll also get another award later for helping us out,” Kivenaal said, looking over at Val with a smile. “And don’t worry, I don’t think there’s any fame coming your way for either of these.”
“So, now we come to the Trashed award. This goes to whoever managed to wreck their vehicle the most and yet still finish. This one’s hard, because Mravolinski-Chitco, Machinas Con Passiones, Oil Crisis, Hillbilly Rollers, and, well, Shift Happens are all on the list. We’re out by default because, well, technically, we’re not a complete wreck, our engine still technically runs and we’re still recognizable. We just can’t drive it all that far because, well, we’ve got engine troubles. Likewise, while Oil Crisis has traded paint with just about everyone here and has the only car in the field with bullet holes in it – Put the shotgun down, Tanuki – their Magistrate wagon is still recognizable, even if it did kill two pairs of head gaskets on the run. This leaves the three vehicles in worst condition. Machinas Con Passiones, who has the worst fuel efficiency imaginable, and has a piston welded to their hood after removing it from the engine. Mravolinski-Chitco, who toppled a tower of trash in the form of their camper unit and then bashed the bed with a tree. Or Hillbilly Rollers, who smashed up the front of their van, had their sliding door get hit by a station wagon, has an interior that smells like 3 day old beer, and more scratches than paint left on one side.” Kivenaal paused for dramatic effect, then said, “Because we couldn’t decide, all three of them get bragging rights. Hillbilly Rollers, Machinas Con Passiones, and Mravolinski-Chitco are the winners of our Trashed award!”
“And last, certainly far from least, it’s the “We’re not Top Gear” award. This goes to the team who didn’t leave someone behind even when they had the chance. RK Series Racing, this one’s for you. You had every opportunity to leave us there on the side of the road, our engine making more steam than your boiler. You towed us not only into the camp, but all the way to the steamworks, despite your car being almost as badly broken. We worked together to fix your car, and you rewarded us with rail wheels and a tow to the finish. Even though getting us on the rails was a royal pain, even though towing us slowed you down, and even though you had every opportunity to say to us that we were on our own, you chose instead to make sure we got to the next stage. For this, I speak on behalf of all of us when I say this. Thank you,” Kivenaal said.
Kaylie grabbed the microphone, then said, “So, let’s get this party started, shall we? We’ve got until 8 PM before we really have to get this all packed back up. Might as well have some fun now that the racing is done.”
5 Likes
That’s a real surprise, when I entered with my humble van I had no idea that I had entered a winner, although after some very fast runs I started to get the feeling that I would finish quite high. The Freeway star seems to bring me luck, though. Not only was it the vehicle that took me to my by then best result in an Automation challenge earlier this year (2nd in CW3), now it also have helped me to win my first challenge ever on this board after almost 5 years which feels fun.
I want to thank all the participants for making this a fun game and now when this is done, I think that I will pull off 24h challenge 2023 in a not too distant future, so if looking for some fast paced metal carnage, see you there.
2 Likes
Hell yeah, brothers, let’s close this one out
Nevada, United States
Local time: Early/Mid Afternoon.
Strong Wind and Calm Seas
This chapter has been written in cooperation with @Madrias
The battered Union lumbered though the portal, still running rough, still slightly smoking and smelling like unburned gasoline. But, the car had made it home alive, and the Magistrates on board with it. The whole team had undergone a grueling 17 day journey, and yet, no one seemed tired. The last night in Crugandr had proved to be the most peaceful they’ve had since starting and just like that, they were back in Nevada, in the desert in the middle of nowhere.
Tanuki, the Japanese terrorist, had attempted to start shit when the results were announced, but staring down the barrel of the rifle that fired a bullet more potent than a 4570 discouraged her. But, as the final festivities were beginning, Team Oil Crisis, was packing up to leave, and Orlen remembered something.
“Hey, Mal? Could you open up a portal to the hideout?”
The orange lombax turned to face him. “Why?”
“Do you remember the 4 Smith and Wesson revolvers I bought?”
“The ones you bought for yourself but never used?”
Orlen nodded. “Yeah.”
Malcolm raised an eyebrow, but then recomposed himself. “What are you planning to do with them?”
“Give them to someone I deeply respect.”
“Alright, don’t take too long.”
Within minutes, Malcolm had set up the Dimensionator Mark 2 and set it to non interdimensional travel, before he pressed the fire button. The machine fired with a loud energy pulse, and everyone around the camp noticed something off.
Kivenaal had folded the tailgate down and cleared a space of truck bed to sit in, enjoying one of the burgers that Kaylie and Kayden’s brother had cooked up. The announcements were done, the teams were all back home, they were all safe. Well, safe enough.
He’d gotten three bites in, leaving only about a bite left of the heavy triple burger he was eating, when a feeling ripped across his skin, like someone had simultaneously brushed his fur the wrong way and then stuffed his fingers into a light socket. He shoved the last bite of burger in his mouth, glancing around to see where everyone was, the air above his upper right hand beginning to heat-ripple as he prepared, though didn’t yet bring into existance, a fireball. He spotted the dimensional rift and shook his head, the superheated air above his right hand cooling as he realized there wasn’t much of a threat.
He looked over to see the others looking mildly annoyed, looking vaguely around for the source of the disturbance, with Jayde looking the most as if he might decide to do something about it.
“Hey! What are you doing over there?” Jayde yelled. “That is making my stump itch, so cut it out before I have to close it for you!”
The purple rift pulsed brightly, before Orlen stepped out clutching a wooden box. Then as quickly as it had come the portal closed. Then, Malcolm packed up the Dimensionator and put it in the back of the Magistrate.
Meanwhile, Orlen had spotted Kivenaal, and was now walking towards him, holding an elegant, modern wood box, that seemed to contain some sort of gift.
Jayde glared vaguely in the direction of Malcolm as he packed up the Dimensionator, shaking his head before saying, “If you left something behind in Crugandr, I could have opened a path for you.”
Kivenaal, on the other hand, looked over at Orlen as he approached with a large, darkly-stained, polished wooden box in his hands. He looked at his greasy fingertips, courtesy of that burger, and curled his fingers inward to use a bit of fire to clean them without making it obvious to the whole camp. He then glanced around and checked where Malavera was, checked the wind direction, and pulled the last of his cigars out of his pocket. With a claw still edged in fire, Kivenaal lit the cigar and the flames vanished a moment later as he took a light puff of smoke and blew it off to the side.
Orlen seemed more relaxed than ever as he approached Kivenaal, and he hoped the Valraadi wouldn’t be suspicious of the box, but he didn’t let the thought get to him.
“Hello.”
“Hello to you as well,” Kivenaal said, his upper left hand collecting the cigar so he wouldn’t drop it. “Did you have fun playing bumper cars in the Rift?” he asked with a grin. “I mean, I can’t blame you, it’s a long drive. And it’s not like you didn’t do it before.”
“Eh, it’s mostly the fact I’m a terrible driver. First time was a sonic boom, this last time I didn’t check the blind spots. But I’ll admit it was fun. Anyway, considering all we’ve been through, I decided to bring you something as a token of gratitude.”
“Not entirely sure I understand, Orlen. I haven’t done anything particularly noteworthy out there,” Kivenaal said, glancing at the box and trying to figure out what could be inside it.
“Well, I think you did. Remember that night in Duskwater village, our conversation? That was the moment I discovered something. Initially, I was suspicious of you, thought you were dangerous, a threat. I always had this problem, I always nearly killed someone when they made a sudden move, and one day it escalated and someone was killed. It’s been nearly 8 years since then, and it’s been haunting me ever since. But, during that conversation that night, I realized that my past demons would make life worse for me, and you being there for me is what helped.”
Kivenaal gave a light chuckle. “Like my brother over there, I can be dangerous,” Kivenaal said, “but I do try my hardest to stay on the side of the light. But, on that day, I saw in you something that I saw in myself, too. Someone who had spent a large part of their life hiding from their past.”
He looked at his own right hands, taking a long draw on the cigar before saying, “I’ve been haunted by a debt I can’t repay. I owe my life to someone who made sure I got on the last ship leaving the planet, and… He died when my world ended. I owe a life-debt, Orlen, that I can’t ever pay back. This race, however, taught me that instead of living a life full of regret for that which I can’t change, I should at least attempt to enjoy it in some way. Instead of drowning my sorrows and hiding from the past, I learned to face it head on. And while I still occasionally saw the purple fog of death in my nightmares, I saw the beauty in the world outside of those moments.”
Kivenaal took another draw of the cigar, frowning as he realized it was nearly gone, then stubbed out the last inch of it on the tailgate. “Rukari can be mad later that I’ve blistered the paint,” he muttered, wiping the still-hot ashes off of the metal.
“But, in Duskwater Village, what I said there is true. It’s something you know about yourself now, something to work on. Given that your brother is raising two Dyre pups, you’ll get plenty of practice, if what Jayde says is true. They’re intelligent, mischievous, and strong,” He explained.
Orlen sighed and looked back towards the direction of the Magistrate, where Kameron and Aidan were tinkering with something under the hood. “Well, who knows what might happen, only thing I can do is wait.”
Then he walked over to the tail gate and set the box down. “Ah yes, the gift. I thought, seeing as you had to empty out those .357 magnum revolvers when that Dyre came at you, I think you’d do well with something with a little more stopping power.”
As Orlen lifted the lid of the box, Kivenaal was overcome by surprise.
He stared at the four matching handguns, the gleaming nickel-chrome finish on the 8-inch barrels catching the Nevada sun. “Smith & Wesson .500 Magnum revolvers, the 8 inch ported barrel for recoil compensation, 5 round cylinders, the most powerful full-production revolvers easily available. I’ve wanted to get one, but could never really justify it to myself. And these look like a perfectly matched set. Four of them,” Kivenaal said, still a bit surprised by the gift.
“I bought them a few years ago and they’ve been collecting dust ever since. It took me a second to find them. Never been used, and I didn’t ever touch them, only bought them because I wanted 4 handguns to make the number on the rack even.” Orlen explained.
“From what I’ve heard, the recoil on these is substantial, so I’m not really surprised they haven’t been used,” Kivenaal began. “If you were more comfortable with something like .44 Magnum, then it’s reasonable that you would have looked at these and thought they weren’t ready for a mission,” he added. He picked one of the four pistols up, his fingers curling around the grip with the smallest finger ending up underneath it, his index finger’s claw resting gently against the trigger guard as a natural safety. He pointed it in a safe direction and looked down the sights, then flipped the cylinder open and closed it carefully afterward after making sure the weapon was unloaded. “I’ll have to get new grips made for these, but that isn’t a problem for me,” He said, carefully placing the large revolver back into the box. “Unfortunately, my holsters are full right now, and I don’t exactly think those will fit without some serious effort, which would ruin the holsters I had made for my Peacemakers,” Kivenaal admitted.
Orlen placed his hands on his hips, and then sighed. “Well, You can take the box with you, they came with it anyway. Plus it’ll give you something to remember me by.” he said before glancing back at the Magistrate which had it’s hood now closed, but instead had the Dimensionator now on it’s roof with wires leading down into the car and engine bay. His team was milling about packing up the rest of their belongings and getting ready to leave.
“Ah,” Kivenaal said with a smile. “I see. You’re heading home, or at least heading somewhere else,” he added. Kivenaal held out his upper right hand for a handshake, then said, “May you have good luck in your future endeavors. As my people would say, Vuri ada ahd nevuri marin, viathien nevikhal. Strong wind and calm seas, my brother not-of-my-blood.” Kivenaal pulled Orlen into a strong hug, thumped him once on the back, then let him go.
Orlen straightened his posture and stood at his full height. “As my people say, may the stars above guide your way, may our paths cross again. Farewell, to you and your friends.”
He sighed and then turned to leave.
Kivenaal gave a polite nod and a wave, watching as Orlen headed back over to the Magistrate. In that brief moment, he saw a glimpse into a potential future and lightly shook his head, trying not to laugh. He’d seen Orlen and Aedan dealing with two slightly-older Dyre who had discovered the joy of a can of paint and 5 minutes of both Aedan and Orlen being distracted by something else. Sure enough, when both of them turned around to see the couch, walls, chair, and rug covered in green paint, well, that was all Kivenaal had seen, but the look on everyone’s faces had been priceless.
As Orlen walked back to the, he felt water coming into his eyes, blurring his vision. But before anything else happened he wiped it away with a gloved hand. Eventually, he got back to the Magistrate, and got in. Kivenaal watched as its engine started, lightly startling Tanuki and Mel who were nearby, then it reversed gently out from it’s parking space, this time not hitting Marie, coming to a stop short of where she was walking past, before the reverse lights shut off and it pulled out into the road, going south.
The Magistrate had seemingly left, until it came roaring down the road northbound. There was a hum increasing in pitch followed by a weird noise akin to that of electricity arcing, before a purple hole opened in the fabric of reality producing a half muffled thunderclap, which gathered the attention of the whole camp, and caused everyone to feel a weird lightheadedness and tingling in their bones. The remaining teams saw the Magistrate fly down the dirt road, before it disappeared into the portal it had opened, which closed almost immediately after the wagon disappeared through it, producing a much louder thunder-like sound which at the same time sounded like a grenade going off.
All that was left after that, was the sizzling, popping and crackling of the air where reality had been torn open and the dust cloud caused by the Magistrate when it came down the road. The only evidence that it was ever there.
The Magistrate Will Return
Well folks, that’s the end of my story arc for Shitbox Rally 2022. It’s been great fun, seeing all the antics we’ve been up to and collabs we’ve had together, and I hope to see you all in 2023.
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This challenge was fun to participate in imo. Thanks for this glorious challenge
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Better get this out before I get lost in engine retuning again...
Studies in Quantum Xenoanthropology, Ep. 7: The third men on the moon?
After Kayden and Jayde had left after revealing they were aware of Arthur and Ford’s true purposes, Arthur and Ford both stood there, speechless. Metallic typing noises from the open driver window of the nearby Kanyon meant that the Kanyon’s support AI had a comment to make.
Arthur and Ford exchanged a sheepish grin.
“And now?”, Ford wondered, slightly worried.
Arthur shrugged. "We’ll put it into our report and see what happens. Personally, I think not much harm has been done. No lasting impact should come of this.
“As they said: ‘who was the second man on the moon?’”, Ford quipped. “And we came third, after all.”
“A peculiar saying, by the way”, Arthur mused. “Very human-centric, for humans in this QR that is. Not many planets inhabited by sentient beings capable of rudimentary space travel have just a single moon, as the saying seems to imply.”
“Perhaps their continuous presence among humans has started to affect their mannerisms already”, Ford wondered.
“Perhaps.” Arthur made a quick and curious note. “And according to the rough calculations we are able to make - the fourth placed team was quite far off, so there is not realistically anything we could have done. Plus, we probably got more xenoanthropological and other data than we bargained for. A successful mission usually speaks for itself.”
More typing noises were audible through the Kanyon’s open window.
at least according to my private spreadsheet where I tried to keep track
“Really?”, Arthur wondered. “One more argument in our favour. Without that incident, we wouldn’t have any trouble now.”
“And we are not done quite yet”, Ford added. “So, let’s see what else happens until everyone disperses…”
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Team Mravolinski-Chitco
The finale
We shall start going, but what?
Thankfully, our team was rather refreshed after this night of sleep.
Color us surprized that one vehicle actually needed to be towed…Bricksley.
Tad bit of surprize of our own was in driver’s seat: i dont recall if VerBanka drove this lumbering beast before, so she does it now.
Apart from having nice breakfast, then checking that nothing is going to fall, we havent had much in way of notable in Crugandr
Two characters had shown to camp. Ludjoe and Siviko decided to get to camp afterall and greet rest of team that DID went to Crugandr
For sake of refreshing memory of reader, these oldies were also supposed to be in team and belonged in original quintet.
You could say that Mrdja, VerBanka and Pi replaced them after Loodjoe went seriously ill (and yes, max team size was expanded from 5 to 6 in meantime)
There was some struggle in communication due to this duo not speaking English, but Jaden is likely no stranger to Google Translate and that has useful ability to translate stuff you decide to say or to speak translation results back.
Jaden has directed them to team tent at their insistence.
After being shown, they retreated to tent in question.
Re×(union+sults)
At 2PM, our numerous bunch of vehicles had passed through the gate, without…much of drama (excluding some light contacts between vehicles).
Sudden temperature changes werent looked particularly nicely upon but we managed.
It was indicated that rings are to be returned rather shortly and we did so, although Pi was far from happy in that regard since she got very used to being able to speak with everyone around.
Returning to the tent meant that group was excitedly expecting results and also looking out for Jaden’s burgers.
“So, how was it?”
“Who…”(saw who said that, then continued)“…how you two got here?”
“Well, we kinda walked. Do you have some food and water? I kinda didnt want to disturb big guy over there with that.”
“So you are better now? In terms of health?”
Ludžo chuckles: “Not really. Its anyones guess how i survived so far, but then again, he is far from youthful as well.”
Klimentol and him decided to get those burgers for everyone in team.
Solid amount of burgers and some more food from reserves, it was time to wait for results
Noone from team was pleased with fact that final time was rather high value, meaning ranking at about the bottom.
As for Trashed award, ye could be seen where that one had come from.
It is still going to be pretty solid basis for its next adventure, since all important stuff still works.
Mrdja had task of delivering CB radio back to hosts.
This went well, meaning that now we were free to hang out with rest of teams.
Hillbillies therefore got short visit in order to congratulate upon their victory
Some thanks were directed towards fact they did helped out few times, mainly via ducttape.
(If @Knugcab desires to expand this little bit, we can arrange something or we can blend into crowd of other teams congratulating.)
Similar story was repeated for other holders of podium but, seeing that we didnt really interact with these teams otherwise, visits were very brief.
RK Series was also checked upon and congratulated on getting two bragging awards.
One being kinda surprizing since we havent had idea about Bricksley’s troubles while other…well, they did earned it very, very long time ago.
Being able to adapt to this new situation that quickly and efficiently was victory in its own sense.
We do kinda disagreed with view on one award, but that doesnt mean we were truly synchonized in which team should have taken it.
Team that hosts chose for this award was composed of Mel and Tanuki.
Their vehicle seemed to be rather competent racer and having only two inhabitants prob did helped matters.
True, its hardly offroader in classical sense but is great rally car (or atleast great basis for such endeavour)
There was tearing up between extremely gas-guzzling MCP van and tiny Yinzer, although tbh MCP team mostly wasnt giving impression of being competent which prob mattered in our case
Yinzer is very tiny and it carried 4 ppl. We dont think that was comfortable experience and it likely wasnt.
After this kinda pointless discussion, they decided to orient themselves towards future happenings with Pi and truck.
Pi's journey
Simply said, Pi is going to join very exclusive club on this board, along with certain other repurposed one-of-a-kind prototype mentioned several times by now around here (here being forums).
She will share Kontir with two other individuals, who would also help her in steep task of managing car company
- Andrea Chitco is technically based on VerBanka and as such she looks exactly like said person with few differences.
- Andrea has long-sleeved shirts and pants exclusively and is likely to wear sneakers. All of her clothing is white for purposes of easier detection of whatever would make said clothing dirty so it could be sent to washing machine
- She wasnt exactly exposed to sunlight all too often, so she is very pale compared to VerBanka.
Andrea would be most normal-looking member of group, but fact that she isnt used to dirty environment (including air) and lot of sunlight (as covered above) would make situation very problematic at first: providing she does manage to adapt in timely manner, she is effectively fittest person on team BY FAR.
- Tatica Čitko (Tateetza Chitco) is most knowledgable member of group, technically based on Mrdja as kinda very loose technical basis.
This means that this guy has exactly same car-related knowledge as Mrdja himself but, as is case with Andrea, has giant anatomy-related shortcomings.
To understand these issues, we look at his original form, exactly shown on picture below
What you are looking at namely would be anatomy of his head/body: thumb presents his hand, index and middle finger shall be perceived as having eye each in what would be fingertips and other two fingers do job of his mouth.
Internal organs would be placed in palm itself, protected by strong and thick skeleton in rear and nothing at the front.
His legs have exactly the mobility of part of arm between elbow and hand, ending with normal feet.
Before you decide this is very weird, i shall remind you that puppets were also controlled by hands as well, its just that here hand itself also played role of puppet.
And this was how my sister and me played long time ago, when we were pre-school age or maybe even very first grades of primary.
Having described the anatomy, you kinda can imagine how Tateetza isnt exactly adapted to being being on his own.
- His legs lack knees, making using the stairs all but impossible task.
- I prob dont need to explain how lacking teeth would be problem while eating
- In case of falling down, he can damage his eyes or even internal organs making him very vulnerable
- To expand on previous point, he cant stand up on his own after said fall
Pi herself has exactly the same characteristics as in SR
She has no issues with dirty or sunny environment and is rather mobile
However:
- She is made in similar fashion to monster of Frankenstein. Her physical appearance shows this very clearly…
- …partially bcos she has no clothing whatsoever. This could be issue in colder environments. Tbf her intimate parts wouldnt be so intimate and so nakedness on its own isnt issue
- You prob gathered she isnt very knowledgeable. Reading and writing is out of her reach, as well as numbers that arent in 0-10 section. Only spoken language she uses is Serbian (rings were only reason as to how she was able to speak to other teams during rally).
- Also has no fear of pushing beyond her own physical limits, meaning she may be prone to injury. I guess she would need to cut this off for time being.
This rounds up the trio that will attempt the journey.
Kontir itself will be prepared for journey. It has advantage of lot of power and therefore speed, but needs some rustproofing before going.
Bedliner is very carefully sprayed on critical areas.
Critical components were checked upon so car doesnt fail down immideately.
Andrea’s spare clothing would be packed along with some food and drinks just to survive first few days. Car got bed cover for this exact reason, partially bcos it’s camp extension was destroyed during rally and partially bcos not everything can fit into cab along with them.
Dents done to bed by Malavera’s kick and hitting the tree were evened out somewhat, and most of paint received coat of bedliner.
This includes stripes delivered by Rukari that second-to-last night in Crugandr.
Exactly at midnight of 1st August 2023, these fellas had went on likely their biggest journey yet.
Out of this world, a brilliant flash of light and an echoing boom shattered the peace and quiet, and a mysterious horse-less carriage skidded across the unknown but rough surface, almost in symphony with inline-four engine bellow the bonnet. For decades, this would be subject of various discussions in small group of ppl that witnessed the event when in fact, it was a one-way trip for a time travelers.
The car was quickly hidden inside an garage of very small factory, barely able to support 50 ppl. Pi stepped out into the world of unknown, knowing they will be here for a while.
They quickly realized factory hid basic blueprints for car along with 25k dollars.
There was also enough parts to assemble 20 cars.
This seemed like destiny…mainly bcos it was.
Pi actually had some clothes that almost everyone forgot about. With that being applied, she went to find some:
- workers, to make cars in first place
- salesmen, so said cars would sell
- designers, to improve or make new blueprints
- two racing drivers, self-explanatory
and - researchers, to make better basis for said new blueprints.
Therefore, they could finally begin this journey.
As for the rest? We may or may not see them soon elsewhere in these forums.
This was lot of fun and im very pleasantly surprized at just how much ppl had put something into it.
In few cases, i was dissapointed stuff havent developed further
Either way, count on me in likewise challenges in future.
OOC: most of the fluffy detailing work was done by @Madrias already, so i shall keep it relatively brief here
RK Series Racing; Stage 17 Drive
Starting with the last day was nothing unusual for the team apart from the fact that their converted steam-powered railway carriage wasn’t present at camp. As such, the morning there was rather spartan, with the team members doing little more than packing up what little they did bring along and heading back towards the recently formed train together with Shift Happens.
Getting going was rather quick and easy as well, with how the only step beyond physically getting in was raising steam on the back end of the train.
The ride itself was, once again, another case of nothing interesting happening. That was, until they arrived at the planned destination, which on paper was little more than a bit of dirt that happened to be suitable for switching back to road operation. Instead, they rolled up to what amounts to a fully fledged, albeit temporary, station complete with platform numbers, a name sign and even an arrival sign showing that Robert was due to arrive in 7 minutes.
On the “platform”, a small group of eager “passengers” were waiting for “their” train to arrive, all of them visibly happy that it actually managed to keep time.
Knowing that Valentin wasn’t exactly fond of the raging cheering and applause from the fans he had - after all, word from the party has spread - they kept it reasonably quiet, much to the surprise of Valentin.
Still, work had to be done and the unrailing process unfolded itself as usual, with the group staring in awe at how simple it seemingly was.
Once both vehicles were off the road, the consist was re-established, but with Robert leading and with both vehicles being occupied by their respective team members only.
With a quick toot of the whistle, the two made their way onwards to camp…
RK Series Racing; Stage 17 Camp
At camp, the convoy came to a halt, followed by the usual process of shutting the lead vehicle down with the all-too-recognizable “angry snake” hissing again. The team unfurled themselves from the Dione, first setting up everything necessary to make it through the night.
None of the three were in true celebration spirits, though as they still had one night to spend and what the second rift to go through. Still, Tim and Constantin couldn’t stop themselves from taking a hearty dip into the ocean in front of them, with Valentin being faaaaar more cautious about it, not venturing much further than ankle-depth.
“Come on! Water’s nice and warm out here!”, Tim shouted, obviously having the time of his life out at sea.
“How? Don’t have any swimgear.”, Valentin replied, already somewhat annoyed at how he forgot the roll up his pants to avoid them getting wet.
“Who cares!? You’ll go from soaking wet to bone-dry in about 15 seconds!”, Tim countered, which was met by Valentin crossing his arms in defense.
Some more attempts at persuading Valentin to join were made, all of which not successful.
Still they very much enjoyed the atmosphere, the sand and sea for most of the afternoon and evening before having dinner and heading to bed.
RK Series Racing; Stage 18 Drive.
OOC: not much of note here. Val is just very much not fond of whoever rammed the Bricksley during the stage. For lack of proof on who it actually was, he cannot really confront them about it.
RK Series Racing; Stage 18 Camp
At camp, the Bricksley was detached and the tow bar returned to them. The Dione was them moved a bit to make some space for Shift Happens and whatever they might have planned.
Now the team (especially Valentin) was really relieved to be back on “home” soil after having been away for what felt like close to a month.
Rings and equipment were returned, the latter being the CB-Radio the team borrowed from Kaylie, which did need a small reminder from Valentin, though.
Not long after, the closing ceremony began, headed by Team Shift Happens.
“Aww now come on! You said the fame wouldn’t follow!”, Valentin protested after the first non-race position award was the “heroic fix”, which very obviously was now his and everyone knew it.
“I’d be proud, but you do you…”, Tim added.
The third award, “We’re not Top Gear”, prompted a less negative reaction. Still, i cannot be seen as positive, either.
“Getting an award for not being an asshat seems generous…”, Valentin mumbled.
“Lack of self-esteem and now lack of ambition? Am surprised that you got anything done.” Tim joked, giving Val a light-hearted prod into his side below the ribcage.
The remaining ceremony wasn’t of note to Valentin and his team members, which led to him and Tim sorting out the paperwork that comes with “purchasing” a “car”. By that time, Constantin had already left leaving little remnants of him ever being there save for some faint footprints in the sand of the desert.
With that done, Tim also went on his way home, taking Connor along with him, thus leaving Valentin and his engineering project at the party.
He headed over to Team Shift Happens, where they traded some more contact details, chatted for a bit before they also parted ways.
A tow truck and a LOOOONG drive later, Val ended up at the far west coast, where Robert was shipped back to Sweden via sea while Valentin himself had to make do with a REALLY cramped flight the next morning.
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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
LAST PART + EPILOGUE
(Sorry for this taking exactly 1034 years, 12 minutes and 38 milliseconds, life sucks and always comes in the way and yadda yadda yabba dabba doo? Eh, let’s go.)
WEEEEE…ka-chunk…WROOOOOAAAAAARRRR…ka-chunk…WEEEEE
The pink brick was ka-chunking all the way through the rift, making our three friends a bit annoyed to say the least.
“What if the damn gearbox gives up in the rift?”, Andreas said. “Now, that would certainly make life a bit more exciting, right?”
“I miss my beer at home”, Marie said.
“You are always so worried about stuff, just rel…”
KA-CHUNKKKKKK…SHUDDDER…DDDDDDDDDDDD…KA-CHUNK!
“…ok, I agree, it is starting to sound VERY bad now”, Janne said.
With a gearbox started to sound like if it was falling to pieces, and an engine overrevving at spontanous downshifts more or less all the time, the team made it through the rift. After a couple of burgers (well, in the case of Marie, maybe 12), the time came for the ceremony. And…
“I can’t believe this”, Andreas said.
“No, you never believe anything, you never even believe in yourself, even though you think so…”, Janne answered.
“STOP BEING SO PHILOSOPHICAL!”, Andreas said.
“I don’t believe in Santa Claus anymore!”, Marie said.
“I don’t believe YOU now”, Andreas answered.
“STOP THIS!”, Janne said. “We won, and I sort of knew it already before…”
“You are getting spooky now again!”, Andreas said.
“WHOA WHOA, LOOK AT ME, MY NAME IS ANDREAS, I DON’T FEAR ANYTHING, I CAN FACE…AHHHHHHHHHHH DEMONS AND DRAGONS BULLSHIT, I PEED MY PANTS, MAMA HELP ME!”, Janne answered, grabbing the $2000 before Marie got her hands on them, knowing that it would not be nice news if she could afford all that beer at once.
Mravolinski-Chitco came to gratulate them (@MrdjaNikolen ), and Andreas said that he got a special prize for them. Getting ALL the remaining rolls of duct tape from the van, putting them into the hands of Mrdja.
“It is all yours! Now, tape your shit together better the next time!”, he told the team in a somewhat salty tone.
Afterwards, however, it was obvious that the trashed award was shared between the teams. On the other hand, both Janne and Andreas could agree that the difference was that the Freeway Star actually held itself together, unlike the weird camper that fell to pieces. But they could still see where that award came from.
Fast forward to when it was time to get home and Janne rigged up the teleporter device again.
“You are aware that the gearbox is going to ka-chunk a lot now and that getting up to speed might be a struggle?”, Andreas asked Janne.
“Yes, and I wonder why you even belive in this Demons and Dragons bullshit all of a sudden? I could explain how dangerous this will be but you know that nothing of this is possible anyway.”, Janne answered in a salty tone.
“I don’t da…”, Andreas shuddered, when Janne told him to floor it.
WEEEE…KA-CHUNK!.. WROOOOAAAARRRRR…KA-CHUNK!
It looked nothing like last time. The van went into something that was just pitch black, and sometimes it appeared like it stood still. It took a very long time before something that looked like a huge fireball came closer to the van.
“I DON’T WANT TO DIE NOW!!!”, Andreas screamed when the van was engulfed by the fire.
“Do you feel dead?”, Janne asked when the light was starting to come back.
“No, and I get a feeling that we aren’t that far from home?”, Andreas said and scratched his head.
He looked around, and indeed they had ended up here:
Not at all very far from home, indeed. It was open, and Janne stepped into the office.
“Hello, Dick”, Janne said to the man sitting there. “I think I got something for the yard now. You can probably drive it straight into the crusher more or less!”, he said, throwing the keys and the title to the Freeway Star on the desk.
“An IP Freeway Star?”, Dick asked. “Can you even kill them?”
“Let’s go out and take a look at the misery”, Janne said.
Indeed, Dick laughed and wondered what the f… had happened to the poor van.
“It is a long story”, Janne said. “And very complicated. Oh well, I come tomorrow to pick up my tools and spares from the back of the van. Then…it’s all yours!”, he laughed.
Less excited, though, was the two other members of the team after they had left the junkyard.
“Yeah, now we have to WALK home, smartass!”, Andreas said. “Or will your goddamned teleporter device work this time too?”
“How am I supposed to walk this far, all sober?”, Marie asked. Well, truth is that she probably had never walked 74 km sober before. Now, remember that we’re talking “sober”. Ehm.
“I am sure we will find the solution”, Janne said.
All of a sudden, the answer to all the prayers appeared in the horizon…
SCREEEEEEEEEECH!
Well. Nobody knows if the lady in the Corsa was actually on her way to Armasjärvi (probably not) but it was not really like she dared to say “no” when our friends stepped out in the way for her. And yes. Marie almost getting stuck two or three times trying to get into the backseat of a Corsa was a sight to see. But finally our team was heading home, to be able to…make new adventures happen. But for now, they were finished…
THE END
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