2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!)

(Apologies for the late update: I legitimately forgot to do it last night until just after 3 AM when I went to bed. Sorry, everyone.)


Shitbox Rally

Stage 15: Kavitz to Allvenitz

Stage Start: 1 Sun, 33/7/3251, Kavitz Campsite

Weather at Stage Start: Hot (33C), with high humidity, moderate cloud cover, and high winds.
Weather at mid-stage: Hot (35C), still quite humid, light cloud cover, and winds remain about the same.
Weather at Stage End (First Car): Hot (35C), humid, cloudy, and windy (about the same as before)
Weather at Stage End (Last Car): Warm (29C), lightly humid, clouds obscure the stars and twin moons on occasion until the wind pushes them away, a cool, welcomed breeze.

Stage End (First Car): 6-and-07 Sun, 33/7/3251, Allvenitz Campsite

Stage End (Last Car): 2-and-20 Moon, 33/7/3251, Allvenitz Campsite


With dirt for as far as the eye can see, everyone leaves Kavitz behind in a great big cloud of dust. Unfortunately, this road is not well maintained at all, and the result ends up being a very slow stage for everyone. Thankfully, the trees thin out as the road goes onward, opening up into the plains that give Allvenitz its name. As the town of Allvenitz appears on the horizon, the road gets a little nicer, but it’s still far from desirable. Allvenitz, however, makes up for their terrible roads by having a proper “adventurers’ motel” just outside the main gate.


Notes: Randomization is active. Breakdowns are active. Time is in Earth Time.


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 16:20:57
Average MPH: 21.7
Randomizer: 7 (Calculated^: 6.39)
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 2/4* (Chassis/Team Caused)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

  • Roll was 2, but helped in a dynamic event.
    ^ Needed to come close to another vehicle’s speed.

Kivenaal took the wheel and drove the truck hard, racing up next to the tracks at about the 200 mile mark. Distracted by a loud clank and a great screeching wail from the nearby train, no one heard the quiet snap of the water pump shearing the pin. As they passed the broken down Longitude locomotive, seen with a broken connecting rod on the line, the temperature of the Bricksley’s engine was beginning to rival the coal fire in the firebox. A little further down the road, the engine let loose with an almighty rushing roar of steam as the upper radiator hose split. The engine was shut down, the hood was raised, and as some of the steam cleared, Kaylie was able to see that they’d really done it this time. Not just had they split a hose (which she was sure they had replacements for), but they’d obliterated both headgaskets, as the truck was hissing and spitting steam out between the heads and the block.

The engine was still bubbling, hissing, and spitting when the Dione arrived and offered them a tow into camp. Then, upon realizing how damn late it was and how much repair work they’d need to do, Val rolled the convoy into the local steamworks with the plan to adapt the blower fan from the Bricksley into the Dione, and fit the Bricksley with rail wheels to haul them on the line to the next camp for them to make repairs.


@Caligari

Team Wayfarers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:23:52
Average MPH: 37.7
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

It’s another stage with the foot to the floor and askin’ for more. Chernobog chews up the slightly-muddy dirt in the forest, and seems to take a bath in the loose, dry dirt out on the plains.


@Executive

Team Gearknobs

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 14:56:31
Average MPH: 23.7
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 3 (Tires)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

Changing tires is never fun. Doing so in wet, semi-solid dirt that keeps trying to eat your jack stands is even less fun. Getting to do that twice was awful.


@BannedbyAndroid

Team Fallen Angels of the Past

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 16:39:32
Average MPH: 21.3
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 2
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

Buried up to the axle in the mud, the two girls have to spend a fair bit of time scavenging scrap wood out of the forest to act as traction aids.


@TheYugo45GV

Team Oil Crisis

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 12:40:16
Average MPH: 28.0
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 3/4* (Tires / Team Caused)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

  • Roll was 3, but helped in a dynamic event.

Mitzal met his match today. Having picked the wrong train to rob, he faced the full wrath of the Order of the Magistrate when they pulled up alongside, guns at the ready.

The Magistrate, however, stayed close, the team within picking off members of the bandits one by one. Orlen got a good clean shot on Mitzal, slamming a bullet into his shoulder and knocking the startled bandit off of the train.

Unfortunately for the team, Mitzal’s bandits were pretty decent shots, as three of the Magistrate’s tires had been hit by gunfire.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:06:35
Average MPH: 43.8
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

The AWD system turns out to be a great thing here, as the battle-scarred pink brick wanders down the dirt forest road at “high” speed.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team Witchlight

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 14:07:52
Average MPH: 25.1
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

While trying to get out of a bit of a muddy hole some other team created, Elist managed to overheat the engine. After letting it cool down, they were able to continue onward.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 12:01:04
Average MPH: 29.5
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 3 (Tires)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

When the front right tire blew, the truck made a massive trench with the front bumper. Thankfully, it was easily replaced, and the huge truck with the tiny engine lumbered onward, not realizing that a certain 70’s land-yacht would end up stuck in the hole a little while later.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passiones

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 12:44:51
Average MPH: 27.8
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 4
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

It was going quite well until the engine just outright quit running. Chad figured it had to be something big and checked the fuel pump, the ignition coil, the battery, but all were found to be fine. The problem? The wire between the coil and the distributor came unplugged. After plugging it back in, the engine coughed back to life, and three fuel stops later, the dustbuster arrived in camp.


@AndiD

Team Quick Rally 47

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:17:57
Average MPH: 42.8
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

The Mara has very little issue with this mud, but the AI still advises caution as those trees are a little close for comfort at times. This, of course, is met with irritation after someone else plays a little game of “Bumper Tag” with the Mara, prompting the driver to put their foot down and leave the offenders behind.


@BG004130

Team Mrezhari

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:33:18
Average MPH: 41.5
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

Upon encountering a slow-moving Mara Kanyon, the driver of the Dunav thought it’d be fun to deliberately drive into the rear bumper of it. After the fifth little bump, the driver of the Mara got the hint and left the four helmeted fiends behind with no one readily available to bump anymore.


@NoahC

Team Jockey

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 12:22:47
Average MPH: 28.6
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 3 (Tires)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

Not quite the tire failure one would expect, actually, as while the tire was flat, it was flat in the camp. Turns out that during yesterday’s panicked flight from the Dyre, you ran over some road debris on the way, and the slow leak let all the air out overnight. Thankfully, you had a tire patch kit, so after airing the tire back up with a bicycle pump, you were back on the road.


@elizipeazie

Team RK Series Racing

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 16:20:13
Average MPH: 21.7
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 2/4* (Chassis / Team Caused)
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

  • Roll was 2, but helped in a dynamic event.

On the way to camp, they encountered three things that slowed them down. The first was a train stopped on the tracks, having suffered a breakdown. Then they encountered the second thing to slow them down, in the form of one badly overheated Bricksley sitting on the side of the dirt road, still hissing steam and reeking of hot oil, The hood was up, and Kaylie looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown. The decision was made to tow the Bricksley using their tow bar, which was working well for quite some time until a quiet thump and an irritating rattle was heard from around the boiler area. At first, it was a mild annoyance until Connor pointed out that the boiler was losing pressure, and an electronic burning smell filled the back seat of the cabin, thanks to the draft-fan motor burning out. At greatly reduced speed, the Dione wheezed into the camp, dragging one very damaged truck behind it. They ended up in the Allvenitz Steamworks to patch up the Dione’s blown-out draft fan and fit the Bricksley with rail wheels to get them to the next campsite.


@Tzuyu_main

Team Black Rabbit

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 12:11:40
Average MPH: 29.1
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

“Fucking dirt and mud!” Melanie swore as she piloted the Dauer expertly through the trees.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:32:08
Average MPH: 47.1
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 4972.8

A combination of the right vehicle for the right job made things nice and easy today.



Stage Finishing Order:

07:32:08 – 6-and-07 Sun – Team Spy Kids
08:06:35 – 6-and-37 Sun – Team Hillbilly Rollers
08:17:57 – 6-and-48 Sun – Team Quick Rally 47
08:33:18 – 6-and-62 Sun – Team Mrezhari
09:23:52 – 7-and-37 Sun – Team Wayfarers
12:01:04 – 9-and-09 Sun – Team Mravolinski-Chitco
12:11:40 – 9-and-18 Sun – Team Black Rabbit
12:22:47 – 9-and-28 Sun – Team Jockey
12:40:16 – 9-and-44 Sun – Team Oil Crisis
12:44:51 – 9-and-48 Sun – Team Machinas Con Passiones
14:07:52 – 10-and-43 Sun – Team Witchlight
14:56:31 – 1-and-07 Moon – Team Gearknobs
16:20:13 – 2-and-02 Moon – Team RK Series Racing
16:20:57 – 2-and-02 Moon – Team Shift Happens
16:39:32 – 2-and-20 Moon – Team Fallen Angels of the Past



2 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude
PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!
PART 2.1 - D. Head
PART 2.2 - Good night!
PART 3.0 - Freeway Rockstar
PART 3.1 - DISCO TJO DISCO HEJ
PART 3.2 - Van-Werewolf 1-0
PART 4.0 - Calm after the storm
PART 5.0 - Mirror mirror on the…oh, crap!
PART 5.1 - Hello, little puppies!
PART 6.0 - Speed
PART 6.1 - GIMME OXYGEN! (feat. Madrias)
PART 6.2 - Steamin’ hot! (feat. Elizipeazie)
PART 7.0 - The Kayak
PART 7.1 - Marie the valkyrie?
PART 7.2 - Vegetables
PART 7.3 - Time to tie things up.
PART 8.0 - The hangover
PART 8.1 - The new team member
PART 9.0 - From pink to brown
PART 9.1 - Co-op with Madrias and Elizipeazie
PART 9.2 - Where is Sonic?
PART 10.0 - First at last!
PART 10.1 - Co-op with Variationofvariables
PART 11.0 - Why is this van so damn fast?
PART 11.1 - Co-op with Madrias
PART 11.2 - Demons and dragons bullshit
PART 11.3 - Oops, thank you, Kaylie!
PART 12.0 - Snap, crackle and pop!
PART 12.1 - The fire breathing jalopy
PART 12.2 - Written by Madrias
PART 12.3 - Bumpin’ the bumper
PART 13.0 - A jawdroppin’ ride
PART 13.1 - The monsters under the bed were real, after all!
PART 14.0 - Interlude II

PART 15.0 - Marie died once

(Remember, I am trying to catch up. This story starts the morning after the dyre attack, and ends in the previous camp).

When our friends got out of the tent, they saw a rather nasty surprise. The sliding door on the wan being wide open, a mess in the back, claw marks in the already less than perfect pink paint….

“HEY! Who the fuck was in the van tonight?”, Andreas asked angrily.

Well, since it wasn’t me, it was either you or someone else, Janne answered cynically.

They stared at the mess. At least, even if being scattered everywhere, all the tools and spare parts seemed to still be there, intact. What was touched, however, was some canned sausages, now being just empty cans with bite marks in them.

“It seems like this was not done by humans”, Janne said.

“No. Probably fucking dyre! I hate them! I HATE THEM EVEN MORE THAN ANYTHING MARIE HAS EVER DONE AND THAT SPEAKS FUCKING VOLUMES!”, Andreas was shouting angrily.

Our friends managed to get all the stuff, spare for the canned sausages, back together again, and left for the next stint.

“OK, WHO OF YOU GUYS DIDN’T LOCK THE SLIDING DOOR?”, all three was shouting at each other at the same time.

“NOT ME!” everyone shouted back.

“I guess we aren’t coming anywhere with this discussion", Janne sighed.

“By the way, did you notice that the Yamada wasn’t at the last camp?”, Andreas asked.

“Hmm, now when you are saying it…?”, Janne answered.

“Appears like they were in a relatively nasty accident”, Andreas continued, with no memories at all of what he had seen the night before this one. “All of them died.”

“Oh…”, Janne answered. “Well, tragic, but a race like this is always done on your own risk, so they probably counted with it”.

“Yeah, and I remember when I died, it was not that bad”, Marie said.

“What the fuck do you mean?”, Andreas answered, very confused.

“Well, when we were going to Classic motor meet in Haparanda in 2013”, she continued. "Last thing I remember is that I died, and then I woke up again in a wheelbarrow in Janne’s potato field…” she said, trying to remember all the details.

“YOU DIDN’T DIE, YOU FUCKING WENT INTO IKEA, STOLE TWO BLANKETS AND DUCT TAPED THEM OVER THE WINDOWS OF A POLICE CAR, THEN YOU WERE DANCING AROUND NAKED IN…oh fuck…I can’t take this anymore, I give up…”, Andreas sighed. “Marie, sometimes I don’t know if you are a genius or downright stupid”, he continued.

The pink brick rolled into camp for a rather uneventful evening…

TO BE CONTINUED…

4 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

WHERE DID YOU LEARNED…

…to fly?

Some of you may not get the reference and others will, you gain nothing either way.
But it will be related to our case, although in not exactly same manner.

Camp

Unlike yesterday, this time there werent any out-of-ordinary events

Actually only thing worth of note was from earlier afternoon/night.
For some reason, VerBanka tried some drink.
She assumed, wrongly, that it was alcohol-free, which meant needing little help to get her back to car.
Considering i do have experience with some friends getting drunk, i was tad bit worried for what it may be - lets just say that if you overload yourself, there may be some puking involved afterwards.
Happily not this time, since she fell asleep very much immideately after getting to some bed.

Morning came and, apart from still being kinda tipsy, VerBanka was fine. Wasnt amused by that whole thing, though.
Half of team was busy trying to figure out who is going to drive now. Pi had offered herself as driver, but they wanted to compensate for time lost bcos of blown head gasket.

Drive

All three members listed as drivers in our team are expert fighters, although it should be noted that their definition for incapacitating their opponent overlaps fair bit with killing said opponent.
It could be said that launch out of camp was of murderous nature as well and was hard to determine which part begged for mercy the most

Is it gearbox?
Perhaps clutch?
That being said, tires are sus as well…

No matter the answer, we made good progress…


There was one section where we really hustled, going at great speeds. This did meant little bit of air time every now and then.
Rather interestingly, front right tire was always the one to get back in contact with road and there were no issues…up until end of 3rd short flight.

Tire gave up on its life, resulting in us plowing the surface.
Result of decent speed and heavy vehicle had indeed been very noticeable
.
.
.
.
-Maybe i should have driven afterall…
-Shut up.
(Quietness continued)

Few chosen had decided to exit the car, including Ms. Tipsy, who proceeded to trip and land face down in mud puddle.
This was funny to almost everyone except for her, resulting in her trying to throw some of mud at us with mixed results.

Aydar was tasked with towing the car to apparently more solid ground, which was still not great place to place jackstand supporting big and heavy vehicle.

-That seems like big-ish ditch of sorts
-Perhaps
-Considering we caused it, i guess least we can do is patch it up.
-Perhaps, we did went slightly off the road as consequence of jump
-I still can imagine someone getting issues with that, seeing that it is close to right edge of road
-Our group is composed of drivers that are prepared for reacting at great speed
Locals are using offroad vehicles by looks of things, too
-What?
-We mostly come from worlds where we are driving at much higher speeds than seen here, so are used to react quickly
Locals are both very used to this stuff and have adequate vehicles to tackle rough roads
Back on Earth, its very likely that road organized for motor carriages/cars in like 1902 or 1912 would be solid off-road course today.
So far, we saw no reason to doubt this world would be any different

(Someone did had issues
It was Team Witchlight, having no prior driving experience of any kind and using not exactly ideal offroad vehicle)

Wheel was promptly replaced during bantering and soon we were back on road.
Pi insisted on driving citing “I need to learn more about driving it.” as reason to do so.
She didnt exactly prove to be stellar by any means and car was getting kinda abused regardless.
Method and reason of abuse was different tho.

Reaction on motel upon finishing the stage was as expected:
-Seems they cared about us.
-Yes.

Settling down

Everyone with exception of Chicota was preparing to spend night in motel, Chicota deciding to guard the car instead.
Knowing him, that may or may not include drinking fair bit of alcohol in meantime

As for rest, dogs had went to town in order to restock our supplies
Others had prepared motel accomodation for themselves and those dogs, then decided to prepare themselves for good nights rest.

3 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude
PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!
PART 2.1 - D. Head
PART 2.2 - Good night!
PART 3.0 - Freeway Rockstar
PART 3.1 - DISCO TJO DISCO HEJ
PART 3.2 - Van-Werewolf 1-0
PART 4.0 - Calm after the storm
PART 5.0 - Mirror mirror on the…oh, crap!
PART 5.1 - Hello, little puppies!
PART 6.0 - Speed
PART 6.1 - GIMME OXYGEN! (feat. Madrias)
PART 6.2 - Steamin’ hot! (feat. Elizipeazie)
PART 7.0 - The Kayak
PART 7.1 - Marie the valkyrie?
PART 7.2 - Vegetables
PART 7.3 - Time to tie things up.
PART 8.0 - The hangover
PART 8.1 - The new team member
PART 9.0 - From pink to brown
PART 9.1 - Co-op with Madrias and Elizipeazie
PART 9.2 - Where is Sonic?
PART 10.0 - First at last!
PART 10.1 - Co-op with Variationofvariables
PART 11.0 - Why is this van so damn fast?
PART 11.1 - Co-op with Madrias
PART 11.2 - Demons and dragons bullshit
PART 11.3 - Oops, thank you, Kaylie!
PART 12.0 - Snap, crackle and pop!
PART 12.1 - The fire breathing jalopy
PART 12.2 - Written by Madrias
PART 12.3 - Bumpin’ the bumper
PART 13.0 - A jawdroppin’ ride
PART 13.1 - The monsters under the bed were real, after all!
PART 14.0 - Interlude II
PART 15.0 - Marie died once

PART 16.0 - The horrible sound

(OK, now we are in the correct timeline, finally)

After a rather uneventful stint and evening, our friends woke up, packed their stuff into the pink brick, and took off for yet another stint. It turned out that the AWD system of the Freeway Star once again was proving to be superior on the somewhat harsh roads. Andreas was passing car after car, with the dixie horn blaring. In fact, they passed every team, except for team Spy kids, and not even Sonic had caused any trouble for a while now. That was…until…

“I want a beer!”, Marie said.

“Is beer the only thing you can think of?”, Andreas replied. “Damn, there is not many days left of this, then you can drink all the beer you want to. Try to enjoy this instead.”

“What is there to enjoy if I can’t have any beer?”, she replied.

“Well…lots of…stuff…I guess”, Andreas sighed. Couldn’t she for once think for herselves, he thought, until he realized that it never ended well when she did that.

Our friends came into camp, finishing in second place. Marie was still in a rather cranky mood.

“You know, now I am tired of being stuck in the middle of nowhere without any beer, from now on, it is your trouble how you should handle this! I am going home!”, she yelled, rather upset.

“Oh, so how are you supposed to get home, miss Einstein?”, Andreas answered

“Well, I can use Janne’s goddamned teleporter device! It got us here so it will get me home too!”, she said.

“Marie, please don’t! I have programmed it to do one single thing, and I can’t give you any guarantees about what it will do if you handle it wrong!”, Janne said.

“Just try to stop me!”, she replied while trying to put on the teleporter equipment. “How hard can it be?”

“Appearantly very hard, since you have the goddamned hard hat on the wrong way!”, Janne replied angrily.

“It can’t be that hard!”, she said, randomly tapping the buttons on the VCR remote before she suddenly disappeared.

“Great, now she has disappeared and I don’t even know to which dimens…”, Janne said just before they heard some noises.

“MFFFF HLLLLPPP MMMMMMBBBBBB!!! I MMMMMMMMMMMMM STMMMMCKKKK!”

For some reason, Marie was stuck upside down, halfway through the ground, a couple of meters away, and Janne and Andreas pulled her up from the ground.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KIND OF CRAP YOU HAVE BUILT!”, she shouted to Janne, with her face covered in mud, when they had pulled her up from the ground.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW WHY YOU SHOULD NOT PLAY WITH IT?”, Janne was screaming back to her. “NOW GIVE ME THAT REMOTE!”, he said, while taking notice that the Bricksley was entering camp, towed by the Dione.

“IT IS MY REMOTE AND I DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT”, she said, while randomly tapping some other buttons.

“Bah, nothing happened anyway”, she said.

“I am not so sure about that”, Janne sighed, taking notice that the crew in the Bricksley seemed to be very bothered by something. “GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEONE TAKES NOTICE OF THIS!”, he said, pulling the sliding door open quickly, throwing Marie into it and closing it as fast as he could.

TO BE CONTINUED…

3 Likes

Shift Happens

and

RK Series Racing

; Stage 15 Drive


(Yep, short header again means only one thing: Collab time. Thank you to @Elizipeazie for working with me on this!)


Kavitz Campsite, 10-and-40 Moon.


Kivenaal was the first of Team Shift Happens to be awake, pretty much as usual. He’d had to fight to stay quiet until the burning orange glow appeared down in the distance of the horizon, having an uneasy feeling about something today, but not quite able to pin it down. He’d checked over the truck twice already, but was now going over the “pre-flight” checks once more.

“We have oil. Coolant is topped up. Battery is a bit weak, but to be expected. Tires all have air in them. I don’t smell anything dangerous out there, except maybe the Hillbilly Rollers’ cooking,” Kivenaal muttered to himself.


1 Sun


Kivenaal was behind the wheel today, with Kayden riding mid-seat, and Malavera in the passenger side seat, while Rukari, Jayde, and Kaylie took the rear bench. When Valentin arrived for the jump-start, Kivenaal popped the hood on the Bricksley, grabbed the jumper cables, and quickly got the truck started. He put the cables away, closed the Dione’s hood with a quiet clunk using two hands to distribute the weight evenly to either side of the latch, and closed the Bricksley’s hood with an almost-equally quiet thud of the heavy steel coffin lid closing over the engine.


On the Road


Kivenaal drove the truck like the Devil was chasing his twin tails, engine screaming for mercy as he slid the truck around corners, kicking up dirt twice, sometimes three times as high as the roof of the truck. The rough dirt road was hammering the hell out of the truck’s suspension early on, but it began to smooth out just a bit within the first 50 miles, though the trade-off was more turns and a generally slower pace.

That, of course, hardly slowed him down, throwing the battered Bricksley around corners like it was a mid-engined sports car, not a heavy pickup with a boat anchor up front.

Around the 200 mile mark, the road straightened out a good bit more, and the team found themselves roaring along, parallel to the track, a fence being all that separated them from where the trains ran. The road was less than favorable at speed, between being mostly dirt with ballast stones scattered randomly around.

Kivenaal was the first among the Shift Happens crew to realize there was a train moving slow up ahead, moments before a loud clank shattered the air and a great screech was heard as the train came to a stop.

“Damn!” Kivenaal said. “There’s something to be said about the power in one of those engines when it can snap that bit of cast steel like a twig.”

Little did he know that events had been set in motion in that instant that would lead to chaos for his own team.


On the Road - Again


A great hissing bang erupted from under the hood of the Bricksley along with a huge cloud of smoke. Kivenaal had been smelling hot oil for a while now, but the gauge hadn’t changed, still reading just a little above normal. But, clearly something was wrong as he now guided the seriously-overheated truck over to the side of the road and shut it down.

Kaylie called it out over the radio, “Shift Happens to all teams in range, we have had a major engine failure. Looks like we blew all of our coolant again.”

She hopped out and heaved the hood up, scowling as she saw through the heavy vapors in the engine bay that the engine was spitting and sputtering from between the block and both heads. “Cooked the head-gaskets, and we blew the upper radiator hose. Looks like we might have gotten hot enough to warp the valve covers, too.”


As dawn broke on the 15th overly long day of the Shitbox Rally 2022, the team was for once in reasonably good spirits, as they did their usual morning routine of getting themselves freshened up, getting Robert freshened up and getting the Bricksley of Shift Happens freshened up.

Not long after, they found themselves on the rails, where running initially was going as smoothly as ever for the first 200 miles or so, until they unexpectedly went past a signal displaying “caution”.

“Huh… well that’s not to schedule…”, Valentin mumbled as he let off the throttle and applied a bit of brakes, causing Robert to gradually bleed off speed.
It took the full three miles to come to a full stop, just before the following signal, which in turn showed “danger”, as expected.

With them now sat there, Valentin was puzzled about why they were stationary now, given that there wasn’t any planned stoppage here.
Still, Constantin was sent ahead to the next signalbox to notify the employee within as per procedure.
Eventually, he returns, taking seat in his spot on the rear-right.

“Any news?”, Valentin asked in hopes of gathering some intel about why they were sat there.
“Apparently the train ahead of us has shat itself somehow… seems like we are gonna be sat here for a while.”, Constantin explained, mentally preparing for extended boredom.
“Well we have three miles of track top maneuver in without impacting any adjacent sections. If we can find some crude crossing on that stretch, we can switch to road mode and bypass them.”, Valentin suggested, which was met with initial enthusiasm by the others.

The plan went ahead and they found themselves crawling along at 10 to 15MPH in reverse to see if they can find a place to switch. Sadly, no such place could be located, forcing them to roll back up to the signal, still at “danger”.

“Connor, can you hand me the ‘operational procedures for railroading’?”, Val requested, followed promptly by Connor pulling out the hard-cover book from under his seat, handing it to Valentin.
He starts flipping pages in that book, seemingly looking for something.
“Found it!”, he exclaims eventually.

" The signaller can authorise a driver to pass a signal at danger when…
…The signal is defective or disconnected
…The signal cannot be cleared because signalling or level crossing equipment has failed
…The signal is to be passed at danger for shunting purposes
…The signal cannot be cleared because a train or movement which has reversed is then required to start from beyond that signal
…A train has been accepted using restricted acceptance because the line is clear only up to the home signal of the next signal box and the section signal cannot be cleared
…In an emergency, and then only when authorised by the signal box supervisor or Operations Control, so that a train carrying passengers can enter an occupied section to use a station platform
…An engineering train is to move towards a possession, or leave a line under possession at an intermediate point…

source: Signal passed at danger - Wikipedia

AHA!", Valentin exclaims, closing the book with a hefty thud. “Constantin, can you scout ahead of us for a possible area where we could get off the rails?”
Constantin doesn’t think twice about another walk along the railbed, getting out to scout the area ahead.

Soon after, he returns, poking his head in through Connor’s window: “Well there isn’t much… some crude footpath crossing or something is there, but the rails stick out quite a bit further than what we’ve been using the past, i think.”
A bit of pondering followed on Valentin’s end, before he motioned for Connor to exit as well to make way for him to use the wayside communications line for direct contact with the signalman himself.
Thanks to his now fully mobile and painless ankle, getting out was a breeze in comparison to the past few days. He picks up the telephone line, waiting for a dial tone which did not sound on his end. Eventually, a voice on the other end has him befuddled as it makes sure that someone is actually there.

“Hello?”, the signalman called from the other end.
“Huh? Yeah… Uhm… We’re still stood at this signal and have already been in contact with you about it… We can vacate the block section entirely to make way for the next train, but the only feasible place is in the adjacent sections either way. As such, i’m requesting to pass the signal at danger to move up and vacate the line entirely.”, Valentin spoke into the phone, which by his metric was very archaic in nature, but worked well enough given it’s design purpose.
“Stand by…”, the voice called as it went away to cross-check with his copy of the procedures to make sure all was safe and correct.
“Passing signal at danger is approved. Limit to 10 MPH. Be prepared to stop due to a stationary train in the section. Report back once line is vacated.”, the signalman ordered.
“Passing signal approved, limit to 10 MPH, stationary train on line ahead. Advise when line is vacated.”, Valentin confirmed back into the phone before hanging up and fumbling his way back in, which proved more difficult than getting out by a fair margin.

The other two followed suit and Robert was once again pushed into motion to transition away from rails.
The process itself went as smoothly as ever, until it was time to actually move away from the line, the three-inch edge that was the track proving difficult to clear.
Taking a less on out of Jeremy Clarkson’s book, speed and power seemed to solve the issue, though it made for a rather bouncy affair when hopping over the track with two of the four road wheels.

Now on roads, they bee-lined it to the signalbox, where Constantin was sent in to report that Robert was now clear of the line.
With that done, they went past the stricken train, already being harshly reminded at how crappy the roads in Crugandr actually were.
Without much of a chance to look for a re-entry point, the went from being stuck behind a dead train to being “stuck” next to a dead Bricksley.

They announced themselves with a hearty blow of the steam whistle, coming to a stop in a way that positioned the nearside front window right next to Kaylie digging about the engine bay.

“I think your V8 doesn’t run on steam, right?”, Valentin asked in an attempt to be funny. “Need help?”


Despite her initial bad mood at the billowing clouds of steam pouring out of every gap in the Bricksley’s V8, Valentin’s whistle toot followed by a joking quip of, “I think your V8 doesn’t run on steam,” happened to be just enough to take the rough edge off of Kaylie’s mood. When he offered help, Kaylie quipped back, “How do you feel about a field-conversion? Or… We could use a tow. Kivenaal here tried to melt the engine down.”

“In my defense, the temperature gauge is still reading 220 degrees,” Kivenaal replied. “I think we lost our water pump.”

“No need to convert anything by the looks of it!”, Valentin countered, glancing at the copious amounts of coolant steam that was still bellowing out of every single crevice in the engine bay.
“Hopes are that my boy here has enough grunt and traction to get that massive truck going.”, he added, rolling the window down and slapping the driver door from the outside as if the car were a horse.

He then rolled a bit past the Bricksley, lining up ahead of it with a good 15 feet of empty space between the two.

“I cannot see jackshit for all the reasons imaginable. Gonna need some help lining things up once the tow bar is out. If you have one, that is.” Valentin spoke, half-shouting from within the Dione.
“Just get a buzzcut like Constantin and you have one less problem.”, Tim remarked, chuckling at how Valentin simply dealt with his Rapunzel-style hairdo.
“Fuck off… at least i have hair of some length…”, Valentin half-heartedly countered.

Malavera climbed out of the truck, then said, “I’ll help with alignment.”

Kivenaal also got out and looked through the mess in the truck bed before finding something tucked up against the toolbox. With a mild bit of fiddling around, he managed to extend it, passing it over to Kaylie.

“Kivenaal, I need you at the wheel,” Malavera said, before removing the cover on the Bricksley’s front bumper and hooking one end of the tow bar up to it. “Valentin, pull forward, please, so I have some space to help align the truck.” Even before Val could move the Dione, Malavera reached under the front of the Bricksley and grabbed hold of the frame of the truck just behind the bumper, then with a snarled grunt of effort, lifted with his legs and hoisted the whole front end of the truck up off of the ground. With a not-insignificant effort, Malavera moved the truck three inches to the left to aid the alignment process, set the truck back down, then grabbed the tow bar and looked toward the Dione, clearly planning on dragging the truck if he had to.

Kaylie, on the other hand, had moved down to Valentin’s side, standing by the driver’s mirror to help direct him closer to the truck to make the connection easier. “Sorry, Val, but knowing Malavera, if he had to, he’d haul this whole truck into camp by himself once he got it rolling,” Kaylie said. “And, let’s be honest, while I don’t doubt that he could pull the truck, given the repairs we’ll have to do in the camp, I need every one of the crew as alert as we can get.”

While Malavera went for the unnecessarily intense task of physically lifting the fat end of the Bricksley to move it over by three inches, Valentin went about making sure everything up front was good until Kaylie popped up next to the driver window to help with positioning.

“Let’s just get backed up and hook that bar up, shall we?”, Valentin said, trying to stay on the topic of serious business.

He then solely relied on Kaylie for directional control since the wing mirrors weren’t exactly helpful, given the less-than-ideal seating position of Valentin within the Dione.

Kaylie nodded, then gave directions to Valentin, the same directions she would have used for anyone needing help backing up a large truck with trailer, with Malavera occasionally letting Kaylie know how close they were in his own way.

“And… Stop,” Kaylie said. Once the Dione had come to a complete stop, Malavera then locked the other end of the tow-bar into the hook on the Dione, gave Kaylie a thumbs-up, and climbed back into the cab.

“We’re locked in. Now, here’s the thing: I know that tow-bar is rated to 9,000 pounds. We’re a little bit over that, but… I know we can get rid of some of that weight in a beneficial way. You refuel with water and kerosene on these trips, yes? And I’m assuming that hasn’t happened yet, so… If we take some of the cans from the roof and fill up your main water tank, sure, it’s not that much weight out of the truck, but every bit counts. While we’re at it, might as well drain what’s left of our fuel and fill up the Dione with what we’ve been using,” Kaylie said. “In all fairness, we were under the rated weight before adding a new teammate to the truck. Barely under it, admittedly.”

“If we are caring that much about rated weights, Robert would be overladen by a factor of more than two.
Hopes are that Robert here has enough grunt to get your truck going…”, Valentin spoke, somewhat cautiously, unsure about how well the weakened everything would hold up.
“So, once you are back there, hazards on if they still work, my brake lights should tell you what i’m doing. One dot of the whistle and i’m taking up slack, a dash and i am setting off.”, he continued, now effectively in charge of two vehicles.

After that, he simply waited for everyone to return to their seats and signal readiness.

Kaylie scuffed a boot into the gravel, then said, “Well, Robert should have just enough grip to get us moving. If not, we can get out and push to get everything rolling.”

Everyone piled back into the truck, where Kaylie relayed Valentin’s instructions to Kivenaal, who hit the hazard light switch, put a heavy foot on the brake pedal, released the parking brake, and put both the transmission and the range-box into neutral, just to reduce as much rolling resistance as he could.

“Traction is one thing, power is another.”, Valentin countered, not really expecting an answer in return.

Once everyone was in their seats and the Bricksley’s hazards illuminating quite a bit more of his offside mirror than he expected, he went for the ignition-barrel turned whistle switch which sent a short blip of a shrieky whistle across the general location.
After that, he gave Robert a bit of throttle, taking up the inch-and-a-half of slack, followed by a second, longer operation of the whistle to indicate the intent of getting it moving.

That task proved to be more difficult than Valentin initially thought, as the loose layer of gravel cause both rear wheels to break traction, sending small pebbles and dust out the back and towards the Bricksley. It took a few attempts before the static friction could be overcome and the two cars were in motion.

The towing process itself went smoothly for the most part until, just a few miles from camp, an ominous, plastic-y pop came from the back end.
Initially, it was thought to be some stray object that they ran over, until a loss of steam pressure and thus power became apparent.

“Uhm… we’re losing power…”, Valentin moaned, already slowing down to pull over.
“Loss of steaming. Possibly some electrical issue or the draft fan itself.”, Connor added.

The Dione rolls to a gentle stop at the side of the road, where Connor went about the process of shitting off Robert and purging what pressure was left in the boiler to allow somewhat safe investigation of the problem at hand.
Constantin took the time to head back to the Bricksley to relay the info, approaching the front passenger window in doing so.

“Something went bust on our end… once the thing is safe, we’ll take a look.”, Constantin spoke.
“When is ‘safe’?”, Kivenaal countered.
“What do i know? An hour, maybe?”, Constantin replied, having absolutely no idea how long it would take for the boiler interior to cool off from 400°C to ambient.

After that, he went back up front as Connor and Tim found their way out of the vehicle, followed by Valentin shortly after, the process of which streamlined substantially by having two fully functional legs again.
A good 45 minutes of twiddling thumbs and theorizing about the fault followed before Connor deemed the boiler to be cold enough to not be a threat, all while Valentin was perpetually and aggressively fighting his hairdo because of the strong winds.
As such, Valentin crawled beneath, being the most qualified (and also thinnest) crew member of RK Series racing, spotting the issue almost immediately.

“Draft fan went bust… who would’ve expected that an AC blower fan doesn’t like temperatures way beyond boiling?”, Valentin remarked ironically while maneuvering his way back out from underneath the ass end of Robert.
“As far as i am aware, the thing still works with convection drafting and all that, but we’re gonna be having fun stopping every few miles to build up some pressure.”, Valentin admitted, annoyed at how the surprisingly reliable botch-job failed him when most-needed.
“At least we ain’t far from camp now…”, Tim said in an attempt to keep the mood up.

The team piled back into the Dione one by one, Valentin going first, followed by Tim and Connor. Constantin was the last to enter, before another egregiously long period of nothing came and went as the boiler took it’s sweet time to raise pressure.
In order to save on steam, Valentin omitted the use of the whistle, instead using the electrical horn for signalling to the Bricksley behind.

Once in motion, the two vehicles managed to cover just a little more than a mile before pressure was dropping and another stop was needed. This repeated itself for quite some time until they finally arrived at the campsite where, somewhat conveniently, more pressure needed raising.
Constantin used the spare time to once again head out back to the Bricksley:

“We are heading right through to the steamworks in hopes Val can get that fan replaced, fixed or whatever. The idea of putting your fat truck on rails still is there, so you might as well join, if that’s okay with you.”, Constantin explained.
Kaylie nodded, then said from the far corner of the truck, “If that’s the case, considering how late it already is, if you’ll get us into the next camp, we’ll do our repairs there tomorrow. We’ll get everyone to help in some way on fixing your fan problem.”
“Steamworks it is.”, Constantin said, nodding while he went back for the Dione.


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Not soon after, the two cars set off for the local steamworks, arriving after another few annoying cycles of going a mile at jogging pace before stopping again.
There, Robert was shut down again, knowing that at least a few people would be present to help move Robert in, thus speeding up the process of getting to the draft fan.

The team once again emerged from the car, in hopes of finding someone local who could help.

Knowing that the Dione’s fan had failed, once they arrived at the steamworks, Kaylie grabbed the technical manual from the glovebox and looked around for a willing helper. Kayden looked like he was about asleep on his feet, she knew Malavera would have trouble with the smaller tools needed to avoid breaking anything, Jayde may be more alert but had no idea how any of this worked, and Kivenaal, well… Kivenaal had fallen asleep once already a few minutes after arriving at the steamworks, face-planting the Bricksley’s steering wheel and honking the feeble horn surprisingly loudly in the enclosed space. Thankfully, the noise had woken him up, and he’d apologized to everyone around him, but Kaylie knew he was pretty much totaled. That left Rukari, who had done a fair bit of maintenance already.

“Rukari, mind helping me get our blower fan out?” Kaylie asked.

“I will work with you,” Rukari replied, grabbing the tool kit from under the seat.

A good result, however, of Kivenaal head-butting the horn switch was when the steamworks foreman wandered over. At first, the fairly tall man, at 6 feet and 2 inches, seemed momentarily confused at the pair of vehicles in his work area. Then he noticed the rail axles and the boiler. “This would be Robert, yes? That makes you Valentin, then. It’s good to meet you,” the man said, actually managing to point to Valentin in that moment. “I am Neville Jardin, foreman of the Allvenitz Steamworks. I’d shake your hand, but,” he held up his grease covered hands, “I’ve been helping out on the broken locomotive that came in.”

Neville looked at the flurry of activity that was going on in the Bricksley, then said, “By the looks of things, the bunch of you need tools, work-space, and given the state of half of them over there,” he said, motioning to the members of Shift Happens who looked about ready to drop at any moment, “you might need a bit of additional manpower. Only one who looks halfway awake in the blue lorry is the two-headed werewolf.”

The blaring horn of the Bricksley also sent a good scare through most of the Dione’s crew.
As the foreman approached the two cars, Valentin seemed remarkably alert despite having been awake for more than 16 hours already.

“Yeah. Valentin Schrant. Our draft fan went bust and needs replacing or fixing. The boiler we have has been sourced from a derelict lorry at Itzgarde Steamworks. Maybe we can make something work…”, Valentin explained, already looking around for whoever may be able to offer help in some way, even though he had no idea on how to make use of that manpower.

“For accessibility reasons it probably is best to get Robert over to a bay where we can get underneath without crawling.”, he continued. “Then we can get the remains of the old fan out of there.”

“An older steam lorry, you say? We might have one in rough shape out back, but, I’m not too sure if it still has the parts you’ll need. As for a work bay, we use these over here for working underneath steam-propelled road vehicles,” Neville replied, motioning to a couple of work bays that had an access pit.

“Come on, you little…” Kaylie grumbled, helping Rukari with the dash disassembly. There was a sudden, loud crash as Kivenaal, who had at least tried to help by removing the tow bar, practically collapsed, dropping the bar in the process and ending up on the floor.

Kayden sighed, looked over to Jayde and Malavera, then said, “Can the two of you get him into the back seat before he breaks something we need?”

Once they’d done that, Kayden climbed in next to him, then asked Nova, “Is he okay?”

“All of the information I can read from him says, yes, he is fine. But I can tell his body is in a bit of distress through sleep deprivation. We should try to get him somewhat comfortable and just let him rest for now,” Nova replied.

When Kayden got out of the truck, Jayde and Malavera looked at him for a moment before Malavera decided to ask, “Any news?”

“Kivenaal fell asleep on his feet,” Kayden replied. “He should be fine in the back of the Bricksley, I doubt that Kaylie or Rukari will make enough noise to wake him.”

Kaylie yawned and shook her head with a grimace. They almost had the fan out, but the clip on the connector was fighting them. Rukari, however, managed to squeeze the clip and pull the plug on the fan, freeing up the unit for removal. “I’ll bring this over to Val. Think you can put this back together?” Kaylie asked.

Neyi. I’m not… Don’t know how,” Rukari said with a light shake of his head.

“That’s okay. I’ll be back in a moment,” Kaylie replied.

“We’ll get Robert over there then, i guess…”, Valentin mumbled, apparently loud enough for the surrounding staff to hear, as three workers went about and positioned themselves for pushing the car over to the bay.
“Connor. Mind getting in and steering for the three colleagues here? I’ll see if that lorry ‘out back’ has something of use…”, Valentin asked, which returned an approving nod from Connor, followed by him entering the Dione just before it was set into motion.

Before Valentin could go out the back to investigate the lorry, however, Kaylie already was approaching him, holding the Bricksley’s blower fan in her hand.

“Sorry to interrupt your thought process here, but… We brought you a fan. It’s probably not going to fit right away, but… Well, it’s at least a similar kind of part,” Kaylie said. “I’ve got to go help Rukari put the dashboard back together, though, because otherwise we’re going to have a mess to deal with in the morning.”

Kayden gave a huge yawn and shook his head, trying to keep himself awake, but he could tell that he was almost about to drop. He had no idea how Kaylie was still on her feet and moving, no clue where Jayde and Rukari found the energy to keep going, and he wasn’t even willing to contemplate how Malavera still looked like he could go another day without rest.

Rukari looked over the technical manual Kaylie had brought along, but to him, the various different names of all the parts blended together into a confusing mess. Sure, he could read the language, but he was struggling with the unfamiliar measurement system, the confusing terminology, and the concept of “Just follow it backwards.” He was used to everything measured out in millimeters and centimeters, not fractions of an inch. He had no idea what a ‘panel clip’ was or how to put them back in now that he’d gotten them out. He’d asked Malavera for help, but Malavera just ended up looking equally confused.

“I don’t do interior stuff, I help move engines and transmissions around, and I drive trucks,” Malavera said.

Rukari looked over to Jayde, then waved him over to ask, “Can you just wave your hand and put this all back together?”

“Maybe, if I were less tired. But right now, no,” Jayde replied. “Seriously, just wait for Kaylie.”

“Uhm… thank you, i guess…”, Valentin muttered, surprised at how Shift Happens managed to rip their dashboard apart in a few minutes to salvage the hopefully-still-functional fan out of.

With a new fan in hand he went over to the bay where Robert was now parked.
In the access pit, Val had a look around, half crouching while one of the workers got to town getting the frame of the old fan out of it’s mountings, even managing to correctly unplug it.
The damaged fan was chucked out of the pit, sliding across the floor and out from underneath Robert for a good ten feet.

“Now to get that mated to there…”, Valentin mumbled, his mind turning a lot of gears in an effort to devise a solution that could get it in place and secure enough to last for the remainder of the event.

Kaylie picked up the damaged fan, looking at it and realizing that, no matter what, an adapter would need to be made. Val had already gone down into the pit with the Bricksley’s fan, so she’d have to either get him to hand it back over, or find out how big it was in some other way.

“Valentin, we might be able to make an adapter for that, but we’d need to be able to see both fans to do it,” Kaylie said, leaning down toward the maintenance pit to speak with him. “Hold on, I have an idea,” she added, before standing back up, looking around at the machines and tools nearby. She knew Malavera worked with tools at least as primitive as these on a regular basis.

She looked toward the Bricksley, an idea quickly forming in her head. “Hey, Malavera! We might have a project for you!” Kaylie called out.

Malavera wandered over, studying the equipment in the workshop on the way. As he walked up to Kaylie, he admitted, “I’d love to have a workshop like this back home. Tools like this… They’ll last forever.”

Kaylie smirked. “Yeah, and somehow I don’t think Val is exactly comfortable with tools from the 1920’s,” she said, looking up at Malavera, “whereas you sit there with older tools than this and make muzzle-loading firearms for fun.”

“Well… Fair enough,” Malavera said. He leaned down closer to where Val was, then added, “How about a trade in projects, then? I’ll make an adapter, but someone has to get the information to a crew around here for a set of rail wheels.” He stood up, though could still clearly be heard as he spoke, “Otherwise our little plan goes nowhere, and we’re going to be in for one very, very long night. Let’s just say I’m not looking forward to trying to make a steam-powered Bricksley myself if we can’t fix what blew up over there,” Malavera said, looking a bit embarrassed at first that Kaylie had called him out for one of his hobbies.

“Likely we wouldn’t be able to, anyway,” Kaylie replied. “Only way I could imagine us making a steam engine work for that would be to make a crude hitch coupling to the rear bumper, have the boiler and engine essentially on a trailer, and push us along like an old articulated bus.”

Malavera grimaced. “Don’t let Kayden hear that idea.”

“Why not?” Kaylie asked.

“He’ll give it some sort of stupid name. We both know that.”

Kaylie smirked, then turned to her brother leaning against the truck bed. “Hey, Kayden!” she called out.

Malavera groaned and shook his heads. “Now is when I wish I had enough hands to cover all of my ears,” he muttered under his breath.

“Yeah?” Kayden replied back.

“What would you call a powered trailer unit?” Kaylie inquired.

Kayden stood there for nearly a minute, clearly thinking of something, but it was slowed by him being tired. Malavera almost looked relieved at how long it was taking, thinking the name might not be so bad. Then Kayden opened his mouth and spouted out, “We could call it a Bumper Humper.”

Malavera sighed and said, “Sorry, Val, that you had to hear that one. Ironically, it’s one of the better ones he’s had.”

“1920s isn’t the big issue…”, Val countered. “Basic health and safety rules are.”

After that, he simply waited for things to unfold, the process of which being juust long enough for his brain to start thinking: “Sleep. Now. NOOOW!”
Still, Valentin tried to persist and at the very least get the rail wheels underway, made a bit easier by the distraction that followed the ‘Bumper Humper’ name idea.

“Uh, yeah… rail wheels…”, Valentin started while the loss of mental capacity due to lack of sleep is getting ever more apparent.
“Connor? … I need you to generate some drawings for a solid steel wheel that clears the brakes of their truck and fits to standard gauge.” Valentin spoke, pausing afterwards to ‘buffer’ the next sentence.
“Okay.” Connor stated before walking off and over to the Bricksley to see what he was now working with.
“… And … i’d need local manpower to actually fabricate them … Though … measure twice, cut once.”, Valentin muttered as the three workers went off to help Connor as best they could.

The maintenance pit below the Dione was soon almost devoid of people, with only Valentin remaining down there. At this point, he is forced to give in to the demands for sleep, as he slides down the wall of the pit, now very much sleeping, seated in the far corner of it.

Over by the Bricksley, it was equally clear that some of the team were starting to have serious issues with staying awake. Kivenaal had already crashed out hard a while ago, but now Kayden was showing signs of difficulty after helping Rukari with the dashboard reassembly. Rukari was alert, but starting to have issues where he kept falling back to his native language, making it impossible to understand him unless he slowed way down to speak in a language others could understand. Jayde was exhausted, but still semi-functional when Connor came over to get some measurements of the Bricksley so he could make some technical drawings.

As such, when it came time to take one of the front wheels off, it was Jayde who was in the best shape to do it. Figuring out the jack wasn’t too difficult, and he got it into place, and removing the lug nuts, likewise, didn’t take real long. The problem came in when they went to measure up the rear axle, and Jayde very-nearly put the truck down on the brake rotor before putting the tire on. Thankfully, both Connor and Rukari had stopped him before any further damage could be done to the truck.

Malavera took his time making various measurements of the Dione’s blower fan exhaust housing, writing each down on a sheet of paper kindly provided by one of the workers. When he mentioned he needed the other fan, someone retrieved it from where it had been left in the maintenance pit and handed it to Malavera, who, again, took the same measurements and wrote them down. He then crawled down into the pit himself, a very tight squeeze and a very low crouch for him, in order to see just how little space he had to work with. Now that he had all the measurements he needed, he could start making the adapter as soon as he could find some suitable material.

With the dashboard reassembled and the tires back on the truck, that left Rukari, Jayde, and Kayden with not much else to do. Kayden, as a result, sat down in the passenger seat of the truck, which turned into a sideways slump that left him sleeping while spooning the gear sticks. Jayde and Rukari decided to take a look out back at the steam truck just in case things didn’t go smoothly, as anything could happen at that point.

“You know how to drive one of these?” Jayde asked.

Neyi. Marinkosa, ne grundkosa,” Rukari replied.

Jayde nodded. “So you can handle a ship, but not a truck, then. But you could fire the boiler on this, yes?”

Yi. Igniri nekasi,” Rukari answered.

“Firing won’t be a problem,” Jayde said, translating out loud. “Think this old beast will run?”

Kasivah ahsi linesei, neahd vedi. Nevosa, neahd dobu,” Rukari responded.

Jayde chuckled. “Definitely old but strong. You’re right, though. Not fast, but it’ll do a walking pace just fine.”

Rukari climbed up into the cab and took a look around, not seeing anything obviously missing. He jumped down, looked underneath and nodded. “Weh sehaal kasi, neahd aihi kasi, vii sehuul kasivah.”

“It’ll take some work, but with that work, we’ll have a work beast,” Jayde said. “Hopefully, we won’t need it, but… Let’s be prepared just in case.”

The two of them wandered back in, and Jayde asked Neville, “When was the last time the old steam truck out there ran?”

“Couple months ago. If I remember it correctly, the problem she really has is that the engine’s slide valves are a bit worn out. She’s not efficient when she’s blowing steam all over the country while hauling coal. But she runs. You’d just need to stop quite often for water and fuel to make up for the valve leaks,” Neville replied. “Knowing you’ve got a Valraadi with you, well… I’d bet if we let him fire it and had another one to drive it, she’d be the fastest steam truck in the land.”

Not much happened regarding the members of RK Series Racing, as Valentin was already asleep, Tim was about to fall asleep sat in the rear bench and Connor was busy drawing up some crude documentation on how to make those rail wheels.
Constantin, likewise, had nothing much to do, but was starting to wonder where Valentin had been milling about.

In search for him, he somewhat aimlessly toured the building, checking on the lorry out back as well, eventually finding him below the Dione in the corner. Seeing as how getting a limp twig into an undersized car was nigh-impossible, especially alone, he just left him there for the time being, somewhat calmed by the knowledge of his now known location.

Connor, meanwhile went hard at work drawing up the manufacturing instructions, filling the massive sheet of paper with measurements, angles, material specifications and instructions on finish as well as a wireframe drawing of the object in question.
A second sheet was filled with a slightly altered variant of the first, containing the same things with the changes needed to accommodate the rear axle instead of the front.

Both sheets were than handed to the workers, who eagerly took them into custody and went to the Bricksley to proof-check clearances using the somewhat known stock rims as a reference point.

After that, Connor returned to somewhere near the Dione, idling, while the workers went ahead in making the Bricksley’s rail conversion a reality.

Malavera was in his element, carefully cutting, folding, and welding together the necessary adapter to convert the slightly-larger Bricksley blower fan to fit the Dione’s boiler. Every so often, he grabbed the various parts and checked them for fit, then made adjustments as needed, eventually ending up with an adapter that was, to be perfectly honest, over-built for the task. On one end, it mimicked the blower output for the Dione’s fan, at the other end, it mimicked the start of the Bricksley’s air duct, with proper mounting points to bolt right in using the mounting screws on the front of the Bricksley’s fan housing, turning the adapter and fan into one single unit. He went below the Dione to check the fit, then headed back up top to swap the fan plug over from the old fan to the new one.

By the Bricksley, it was clear now just how tired the team was getting, with Kivenaal and Kayden already crashed out in the truck, Jayde looking like he was about to fall asleep at any moment, and then an almighty crash as Kaylie lost her balance, fell into an almost-empty maintenance pit, and landed hard on her left arm.

“I’m okay,” she called out, getting up slowly, looking at the almost-empty cans of grease she’d smashed flat by landing on them. “Covered in grease, but okay.”

Jayde walked over to help as Kaylie walked out of the maintenance pit. “Yeah, we’re going to have to set up some camp here, I think. There’s no way we’re going to make it into camp like this,” Jayde said.

Neville looked over at them, then said, “We have a shower system here, just behind those doors. Fixing locomotives is messy work, and no one wants to have to clean bearing grease out of carriage seats in the morning. Use it to get cleaned up, if you need to. As for sleeping arrangements, you’re welcome to set up tents outside, just don’t block the entrances. I’ll go pass that on to the others, because it looks like a couple of them have also fallen asleep.”

As Kaylie and Jayde went to use the showers, Neville walked over to let Constantin and Connor know they could set up camp outside if needed, then walked over to relay that to Rukari. After that, he realized Malavera was relatively close to the Dione and gave him the same news as well.

“Well thank you, though we probably cannot make use of it. My tent relies on the car for structural integrity and Valentin obviously is already asleep… Hope you are okay with us staying here for the night, car and everything.”, Constantin replied quietly while he dug about for his sleeping bag in the car, trying to not wake up Tim.

The sleeping bag was then hauled into the pit, where it was rolled out to provide some added comfort and insulation for Valentin. Once down there, he realized that the air was getting a bit stale, though, ending in him chucking the bag back out. After that, he went over to Valentin again, crouching down to align himself for an across-the-shoulder pick-up. He was very careful about not pinching any of his hair as well as not flinging him about the area.
On the way out of the maintenance bay, he realized that he had no plan on where to put Valentin, now that he was out of the trench.
He somewhat cluelessly looks around for a reasonably secluded corner for Valentin to sleep in.

Malavera looked over as he saw Constantin carrying Valentin with no real good place to put him in sight. Quickly looking around the area, he found a spot not-too-far from the Dione, a space between two somewhat dusty toolboxes. He’d noticed most of the other toolboxes were either clean, somewhat greasy or oily, or covered with coal dust, not just the usual dusty dirty look. He waved Neville over, then asked, “What’s with those toolboxes?”

“Those? A bunch of tools we rarely ever have to use. Weird measurements, fractions of an inch. Archaic crap we keep around just in case someone brings in one of those awful imported Nehmenweld steam wagons again,” Neville replied.

Malavera looked over to Constantin, then motioned to him to place Val in the nearly 10-foot space between the two toolboxes. “Neville says they contain tools no one uses. Sounds like they might be American standard, not Metric. But I don’t think anyone will bother him while he rests there.”

Constantin took a look over to the toolboxes, which indeed where basically pristine save for the thick layer of dust draped over them. With a graceful shove of his foot, his sleeping bag rolled over to the space indicated by Malavera.

“Mind rolling it out over there? Cannot exactly do that without putting the pasta back into the pot first.”, Constantin requested.

Malavera gave a quick nod with his right head, then carefully unrolled the sleeping bag for Constantin, taking the time to make sure no loose bolts, nuts, washers, or other debris was under it so Valentin could get some decent sleep. After he had done that, he used the nearby toolbox to help stand back up again, then admitted to Constantin, “Sorry, but I may have slightly over-stressed the buckle. I hate those plastic clips, I struggle with them all the time. Squeeze too hard, they break. Don’t squeeze hard enough, you can’t undo them.”

Constantin followed Malavera over to the toolbox area and waited for him to unfurl the sleeping bag.
Once the area was cleared and the bag was placed, Constantin crouched down and carefully placed Valentin on top. He also took the chance to check up on the buckle to discover that it wasn’t exactly pristine, but functional.

Valentin in turn took note of the new orientation he was now in, flipping around to the other side almost immediately while also curling up somewhat to retain a bit of heat.
While the steamworks isn’t the coldest building in town, the mass of open windows and gateways made for a sizeable draft through the building.

Constantin returned to Malavera by righting himself again.
“Well that buckle doesn’t look broken. And even if, replacing it isn’t a problem.”, Constantin replied.
“Tell me if i can be of help somehow. Seems like we are the only two still fully alert here, other than Neville and the current shift of locals…”

Malavera nodded. “I’ve still got to install that blower fan. The adapter is done, but it needs to go into the car now. Rukari’s busy with the tents, but, well, I know him when he gets tired, you won’t understand a single word he’s saying. Ideally, we’d get Kayden out of the front of the truck, but there’s no way you’re moving him, and even if we could do that, we can’t shove him into a tent without waking him up anyway,” Malavera said, before picking up the fan and some tools to install it.

“But, if you want to help, I’m fairly sure while I can install this into the car, I’m not going to be able to get those plugs connected. Also, while Rukari is setting up some tents, I’m sure he’d appreciate some help. Might as well set one of ours up for yourself while you’re at it,” Malavera added, before dropping back into the maintenance pit to install the fan.

Getting it lined up was easy, and getting the bolts in took no time at all, but he fumbled around with the plugs for just a few seconds before saying, “I’ve gotten it in there, but it still needs to be plugged in. If I try, I’m just going to end up breaking something.” He climbed back out of the maintenance pit with a grimace, then added, “I don’t know how the locals do that, climbing in and out of those. There’s almost no space in there.”

“The locals aren’t near-enough 8 feet tall and also have one head each…”, Constantin mumbled while he got underneath the Dione to plug the draft fan in, which took all of seven seconds to do.
“As per tents, i can manage. There’s still space in the car and cramped everything isn’t news to me. Also, better test if the fan actually works, right?” He said while on his way out from underneath.

He then went to Connor, the designated fireman, inquiring about a dry-cycle test of the draft fan.
“Okay. Be aware that the noise might alert the people already asleep.”, Connor protested.
“Other option is doing it tomorrow, risking hefty delays if shit is still busted…”, Constantin insisted, forcing Connor to climb aboard the Fireman’s seat. He flicked the ignition into the AUX position, followed by a smooth 0-100-0 operation of the draft fan.
What was immediately obvious is that the Bricksley fan was substantially louder than the Anhultz one due to the bigger vehicle it was meant for. Still, neither Valentin nor Tim were awoken by the noise made, with the latter groaning a bit and flopping over lengthwise onto the bench.

Soon, the fan returned to being dead-silent and stationary as Connor turned the ignition back off.
“Seems to work.”, Constantin confirmed. “Thank you for helping on that plate thingy… If you don’t need me for anything else, i’ll join the others in the Dreamworks. Every minute counts, i guess.”

Constantin then turned around to head up front, turning the fireman’s seat into a makeshift bed with consideration made to make room for Tim behind.

“Sleep is important. Even I’m planning on getting some more rest, and I could probably go another day without too much of an ill effect on me,” Malavera admitted. “That said, we should probably plan on getting up a bit early, just so we have time to iron out any problems with putting the truck on the rails. After all, we’ve never done this before, and while I trust that the wheels will be done correctly, I’d rather have extra time to make sure it’s done and will work than to be spending several hours troubleshooting when we should be on the way.”

He looked to Connor, then asked, “Could you wake me up somewhere around 4 hours before sunrise?”

“Me too. Sounds like a solid idea.” Constantin added, aware that the entire team would need to get up early, even if none of them were aware of that yet.
“Noted. I shall wake you up four hours before sunrise.”, Connor calmly replied.

After that, Constantin simply nodded to both Malavera and Connor before actually heading into his makeshift bed proper for the night.

Malavera nodded, then headed over to the Bricksley where Rukari had finished setting up the tents, gladly picking one, making sure that Connor knew which one he was in, then crawling inside.

Kaylie and Jayde wandered out of the showers, glad that everyone else was pretty much asleep by that point, as Jayde had used his magic to dry them both off and dry out their clothes. They chuckled as they walked past the truck to see Kayden and Kivenaal sleeping on the bench seats inside, then went through the usual ordeal of picking a tent that, in this case, didn’t already have someone sleeping in it.

Neville smiled. He knew his crew would work hard over the rest of the night to get everything done. For him, it was worth it just to have met Valentin today, but knowing that Valentin and his crew had chosen his steamworks for an interesting project, well… That was above and beyond perfect. He looked at the huge blue vehicle, then back over at his crew as they machined a set of wheels to fit it, and chuckled to himself. “A steam wagon on rails. I might have to try that some day,” he said to himself.

3 Likes

Studies in Quantum Xenoanthropology, Ep. 6: We got a problem.

Previous post

As Ford handed over the wheel to Arthur after a few hours of concentrated (and mostly silent) driving, Arthur rather started to roll more along than attacking the stage with gusto, despite the stage being quite well suited to the 4x4 Kanyon, and Ford having enjoyed his time behind the wheel, as usual.

“So you are trying to lose places the traditional way, despite not knowing exactly how much time we need to lose or whether we need to do that at all?”, Ford wondered.

“We might not have official timing, and only estimations by our AI - but I trust them…” Typing noises made Arthur and Ford take a quick glance at the centre view screen.

“… and it’s the only information we have”, Arthur concluded. The green letters vanished immediately.

“So, we might be up there with the leading pack, we won a few stages early on, so…?”, began Ford, but Arthur interrupted.

“Ford, you are forgetting the Prime Tenet of Quantumxenoanthropology: No interference…”

“… No records.” Ford joined Arthur in saying the last part, finishing it simultaneously. “And if we happen to win, or be on the podium, then there will be a record, albeit a small one…”

Arthur shot a warning glance at Ford.

“So why don’t we just disappear? We can just relocate to our quantum reality and noone would be the wiser…”

In the distance, a faint but consistent engine noise became audible.

“First, we’d cause quite a stir if we are suddenly absent from the next camp without having signed out with the organisers”, Arthur started. “That’s called a pertubatio in absentia. And second, we might miss out on a substantial chunk of data - everyone’s behaviour during and after the victory ceremony… the ‘party’ as it will be called, no doubt. So we have to be there, just not be a part of it, as usual.”

“And rarely can you gain more elucidating behavioural insights than in a rapid shift of environmental circumstances”, cited Ford from a standard xenoanthropology textbook. “The victory party probably will indeed count for that”, he mumbled.

The engine noise in the distance became louder. Ford’s expertise over the last days had grown so that he could readily identify the engine as an inline-6.

“See? And we can’t just ask the organisers to score us badly because they would ask all sorts of questions”, Arthur continued.

“Can’t we just… adjust… their records?” As on cue, the Kanyon was slightly shaken by a blue-ish car which wanted to get past the dawdling Mara just at the right time to emphasise certain words in Ford’s question.

“I rather not dare use quantum manipulation on their stuff. First, that would be interference…” - another hit by the blue estate car that now filled their rear view mirrors - “… And second, I don’t even bloody know where they keep the records!” Arthur began to be slightly agitated. The road was too narrow to let the blue nuisance pass so he hoped that its drivers would just get bored at some point.

“How about faking a defect?”

Arthur shook his head, aided by the third less than gentle nudge from behind. “Someone might stop to help us, and then nothing is wrong after all. And, as you can see, there is not even space here to safely STOP!” A fourth shudder rocked the Kanyon. “So, we are going to simply lose time, and we have to do it the traditional way.” More typing noises emanated from the centre console.

Arthur barely had time to read the newly appeared green letters as a fifth hit from behind made him yank the wheel to keep the Kanyon straight on the narrow road. “SCREW IT”, he shouted and put the pedal to the metal (in the absence of interior luxuries such as carpeted floors) in order to escape the
Dunav 3300 behind them.

The Kanyon’s superior traction indeed managed to leave their pursuers in the dust after a short while, and Ford silently wondered when the normally unflappable Arthur would sufficiently calm down to heed his own words, uttered only a very short time ago…

4 Likes

I love that they’re being flustered in this serious moment by someone playing bumper-cars on the road.

Shitbox Rally

Stage 16: Allvenitz to Temmingarda

Stage Start: 1 Sun, 34/7/3251, Allvenitz Campsite

Weather at Stage Start: Warm (27C), Mildly Humid, a light breeze.
Weather at mid-stage: Hot (32C), still humid and breezy. Clouds are visible in between the gaps in the trees.
Weather at Stage End (First Car): Cooling Down (30C), humidity is slowly fading, lightly breezy.
Weather at Stage End (Last Car): Warm (28C), low humidity, the wind has gone.

Stage End (First Car): 5-and-36 Sun, 34/7/3251, Temmingarda Campsite

Stage End (Last Car): 2-and-03 Moon, 35/7/3251, Temmingarda Campsite


Compared to the last stage, the road from Allvenitz leading to Temmingarda isn’t anywhere nearly as bad. It’s still mostly made of dirt, but what makes this a slow route is all of the tight, twisty turns on what amounts to an overgrown game trail through the forest. Rukari’s hand drawn maps all have it marked out about 50 miles into this particular stage that we have all crossed the equator of Aetherii, into their southern hemisphere. The sunlight barely makes it through the tree canopy at times, forcing everyone to drive with headlights, and sometimes offroad lights, turned on. Thankfully, after a long drive through the forest, everyone arrives at Temmingarda safe and sound, setting up camp in various tents just outside the city walls.


Notes: Randomization is active. Breakdowns are active. Time is in Earth Time.



@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 11:44:45
Average MPH: 30.2
Randomizer: 9.365 – Calculated to match RK’s time.
Refueling Stops: 0 – We are no longer burning fuel.
Breakdown: 4 (Team Caused - Towed)
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Valentin took the wheel of the Bricksley, choosing Kayden and Malavera to share the front bench with him after sliding it forward a bit for his own comfort, avoiding smacking his head on the annoying radio console in the cab. Kivenaal sat behind Valentin, looking a little tired but otherwise alert, with Rukari in the mid-bench and Jayde in Kaylie’s seat, because Kaylie was sitting in his lap.

Kivenaal didn’t really care that the Bricksley was being pushed along, he was just glad that this time, they were coasting along smoothly and quietly, just the mild clicking and clacking of the rail joiners under the wheels making noise. Jayde got his revenge on Rukari for the constant elbow in his ribs with a surprisingly sharp elbow to Rukari’s chest, getting a wince out of the future Emperor. Malavera watched the world as it went by, while Kayden unfortunately spent far too much time trying to help Valentin out on looking for signals, only to realize Val’s eyesight was at least as good as his own, much to Malavera’s amusement. Kaylie, on the other hand, was sitting there, mentally counting through all of her known supplies onboard and trying to remember if they might have a solution to the truck’s severe overheating problem.

They rattled their way down the rails, past a station, and into the shunting yard, where the two vehicles were parked up safely in a siding, waiting for the next day.


@Caligari

Team Wayfarers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 13:21:42
Average MPH: 26.5
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 4 (Team Caused)
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Big truck, small narrow trail. Jack takes it easy and the truck wiggles and wobbles around, though manages to not hit any low tree limbs.


@Executive

Team Gearknobs

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 06:36:05
Average MPH: 53.8
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

The right car for the job. AWD, low center of gravity, just enough power to have fun without finding a tree sideways at a million miles per hour. The smell of pine trees is very strong in the car, but that’s just because someone ripped open a fresh pack of air fresheners and stuffed them into the climate control vents.


@BannedbyAndroid

Team Fallen Angels of the Past

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 14:43:28
Average MPH: 24.1
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Things were going well until a fallen branch “kindly” removed the lower radiator hose in the middle of the forest. Between having to dig through the fresh, hot mud to find the hose clamp, rummage around in the tools for an appropriate screwdriver to tighten it back up, and use a couple of leftover water bottles to carry river water back to the car several times, a lot of time was lost.


@TheYugo45GV

Team Oil Crisis

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:18:49
Average MPH: 38.1
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

After the chaos in the previous stage, everyone agreed to take things easy today, especially considering the size of their vehicle and the lack-of-size of the road they were on.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 11:01:11
Average MPH: 32.2
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

It turns out that running over a werewolf all that time ago is still having an effect on the van. While there aren’t any more Dyre bone shards left to blame for the bad luck, both front shock absorbers have failed, leaving the van horrifically bouncy. Some clever backyard engineering in camp turned up one spare shock absorber, and one “redneck rebuilt” one that had been taken apart and packed with a clean pair of Marie’s underwear and a good handful of axle grease. Surprisingly, it seems to hold up well enough that they’ll be able to make the next stage without any trouble.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team Witchlight

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 10:06:47
Average MPH: 35.1
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Elist takes their car through this twisting mess of a game trail “fast” considering the size of the old American battleship.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 16:20:37
Average MPH: 21.7
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

You had to see this one coming. Turns out, having a wide and very tall extension on a vehicle isn’t exactly great on a tight, twisting, winding forest road. The resulting crash with two trees that ripped the camper extension off also spilled ALL of the team’s cargo onto the road, which took a lot of time to pick back up and find places to store it, considering the camper extension was pretty much a total loss. A significant amount of time was also spent breaking the shell down enough to both fit on the truck AND not hit any more trees on the way to camp. On the plus side, the vehicle feels so much less top-heavy now!

(Sorry, but you rolled that 7 honestly, and I’d mentioned that having something that bulky could pose a problem. So, when you got a 7, I knew immediately what I was doing to your poor truck.)


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passiones

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 10:44:20
Average MPH: 33.0
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 4
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

At this point, it’s almost routine that stupid things have to happen at the various fuel stops. Today, it was Chad playing the trumpet with his butt, sending foul notes in Giacomo’s direction… Right up until he tried a little too hard and played a brown note for himself.


@AndiD

Team Quick Rally 47

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 10:28:34
Average MPH: 33.9
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 1
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Following the AI’s guidance, the significant amount of duct tape holding some connectors together was loosened. As expected, the oil pressure sensor came unplugged mid-stage, leading to an engine shutdown in the middle of the forest. While the sensor was being plugged back in, several creatures were observed in their natural habitat. In a way, it was almost oddly relaxing.


@BG004130

Team Mrezhari

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:06:28
Average MPH: 39.0
Randomizer: 11
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

After their usual morning ritual, Team Mrezhari hurtled into the forest and proceeded to play a game called “How much dirt can we get into the trees today” with the Dunav’s tires.


@NoahC

Team Jockey

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:54:42
Average MPH: 35.8
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

“What’s that mysterious ticking noise?”


@elizipeazie

Team RK Series Racing

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 11:44:32
Average MPH: 30.2
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 4 (Team Caused - Towing)
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Between some difficulty getting the Bricksley on the rails and a bit of annoying play in the cut-off linkage leading to a lack of full power, combined with some mild misunderstandings regarding seating arrangements in the Bricksley, getting two vehicles going in a consist was definitely harder than Val had thought it would have been. Constantin worked the Dione’s controls and blared the whistle for the one grade crossing they had to deal with while Valentin kept an eye out for signals and mashed his foot on the Bricksley’s incredibly heavy brake pedal.


@Tzuyu_main

Team Black Rabbit

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 11:06:18
Average MPH: 31.9
Randomizer: 10
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Sure, it’s not the perfect car for this, but it’s held together so far, and there’s a certain joy in throwing the RWD Dauer around a twisty forest rally stage.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:28:14
Average MPH: 47.5
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5328.0

Normally, “Let’s take a shortcut” should be something to fear. This time, instead of being a disaster, it shaved a lot of time off of the run.



Stage Finishing Order:

06:36:05 – 5-and-36 Sun – Team Gearknobs
07:28:14 – 6-and-03 Sun – Team Spy Kids
09:06:28 – 7-and-12 Sun – Team Mrezhari
09:18:49 – 7-and-23 Sun – Team Oil Crisis
09:54:32 – 7-and-55 Sun – Team Jockey
10:06:47 – 7-and-66 Sun – Team Witchlight
10:28:34 – 8-and-05 Sun – Team Quick Rally 47
10:44:20 – 8-and-20 Sun – Team Machinas Con Passiones
11:01:11 – 8-and-35 Sun – Team Hillbilly Rollers
11:06:18 – 8-and-40 Sun – Team Black Rabbit
11:44:32 – 8-and-74 Sun – Team RK Series Racing
11:44:45 – 8-and-74 Sun – Team Shift Happens
13:21:42 – 10-and-01 Sun – Team Wayfarers
14:43:28 – 10-and-75 Sun – Team Fallen Angels of the Past
16:20:37 – 2-and-03 Moon – Team Mravolinski-Chitco



(Team post will be coming later.)

4 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

BANG…OH NO…PLAN >:)

Prepping to go

This was good nights rest and so everyone had high hopes for the stage, packing enthusiastically into vehicle

Breakfast was mostly some fruits for three of us and some raw meat for dogs; Chicota logically joined in with few bottles of beer.
There were some comments related to fact that, apart from replacing head gaskets, there wasnt any particularly tasking work to do: Pi seems to inherit rather sound vehicle which would be rather important for journey of her own.

Courtesy of big addon, it also has lot of semi-enclosed space. Ofc its hard to be sure but its not very likely Americans would really utilise space in this kind of fashion and its indicated vehicles cargo space is indeed plentiful.
In fashion that oh-so-much indicated my European heritage, i decided all 5380 liters of indicated cargo space need to be closed off, which might be solved for itself if our team went with something like minivan, SUV or station wagon.
But ye, cargo capacity number going brrrr had quite the influence on decision
This move meant we are one of few pickup trucks and one of double cabs on grid, being one of longest vehicles and likely tallest and widest addon included…so far said size havent caused a problem…

Enjoyment was also found at first when we fully packed into car and started moving, which lasted until sky started to get darker and darker and darker…

Big vehicle was wrung around with more speed than it was legally allowed to, considering its type and small engine

At one moment, speedo showed 110 kmph or about 69 mph. Nice
Next moment tho…

CRASH

Its fair to say, i had been in cars that hit something or were hit by something.
I very much recall us hitting stray dog on highway, dad slowed down from usual 120 kmph but hit happened, very much damaging front bumper of first gen Renault Laguna estate we had at that time.
We were able to drive/walk away tho which sadly couldnt have applied to poor animal being hit.
There was also some fella that misunderstood his parking brake and his towhook hit our Dacia, resulting in light damage to hood and broken taillight: if my memory serves me correctly that was 90s Chevrolet Blazer. I could imagine seeing such vehicle in less damaging circumstances.

But nothing could have prepared properly for violent jolt caused by addon hitting some tree branches above at that 110 kmph speed mentioned in last paragraph of Camp part directly above, shaving most of initial speed.
Rest of our kinetic energy was logically shed by brakes at more appropriate rate, in order to estimate this chaos that we are now in.

This is start of some pretty serious troubles, seeing that only stuff that was technically in bed had stayed in its place.
Some clothes belonging to myself and VerBanka are now spread out on road, meaning that most of our clothing now belongs in dirty section, not that i care that much anyway about it.
Beds that used to be in space above cab are also chilling out in dirt, stuff placed between cab and that camping area was also on display and also scattered around

Clothing would for most part be shoved in cab: actually everything that size-wise could fit into cab was fitted into cab, reminding me of good old days when our 5 member family would tackle family trip with our Corsa.
That 2002 car def had its virtues mostly used by our dad for its frugal usage of fuel and zippy nature but wasnt ideal for long trips either in passenger space or avaiable trunk space.
(Some of you may say that putting LPG tank in place originally meant for spare tire didnt help. You would be right.)

Chicota had did little bit of experiment and realized that, if he focuses exhaust gasses from jet engines, he can kinda weld stuff together.

“We could repair it!”
Klimentol: “That sounds great if not for one big question…should we do that?”
Chicota: “Why not?”
Klimentol: “Hmm there is few things. Yes, it was rather nice having lot of space to put stuff and thats going to be very much missed.
However
You can see that road doesnt seem to be any more friendly to such addons and besides, Pi may encounter similar situations later on.”
“This is second-to-last stage tho, not many chances for this to repeat.”
“True, but as said, this rally isnt going to be our only worry. Pi isnt going to find someone to just weld everything back up in case of problem.
So i suggest to just pick stuff up and put it in bed; get to camp and town and hopefully we would sufficiently fasten it up and finish this journey”

This felt rather logical and after Chicota used jet engines for their original purpose aka making himself fly, he saw…everything
This forest part was indeed way too big to justify potential welding.

We are gonna continue slowly, as we are gonna pack stuff very very loosely.
What used to be gate turned into sides of our contraption was kinda evened out and now served as kinda extension for bed sides, bcos ya know, you kinda need to store much more stuff in that bed.
Former roof of camper thing would once again cover everything, but now by virtue of simply sitting on it.

Observing the car as it is now, Mrdja had idea and decided to test how loud Chicota can be.
After test, Mrdja was satisfied with results and told him tad bit more about his plan
Some evil grins were had, knowing that absolutely noone else in camp would enjoy it all that much

I ofc have feeling that Team Mrezhari is already informed about this interesting tradition, but i dont find it likely they will comment on that.

And as such we continued to camp to realize this plan of ours

PLAN >:)

We reached the camp and just continued to roll slowly through it.
Chicota opened the window on his side, took head out and spoke very loudly

WE COLLECT OLD FRIDGES, CAR BATTERIES, LAWN MOWERS, BOILERS

CLEAN YOUR BACKYARDS, SHEDS, BASEMENTS AND GARAGES OF JUNK

BATHTUBS, JUNK IRON, BROKEN ELECTRIC STOVES, WASHING MACHINES

WE HAVE BEST PRICES IN BUSINESS
EVERYTHING THAT ANNOYS YOU, EVERYTHING THAT IMPEDES YOU
WE BUY

After getting to end of camp, we simply turned car again and repeated the process, as per plan.
With our great plan being realised, it was back to serious business, mostly related to fastening all of the junk we are now carrying.
With that, dogs and Chicota had went to town to get necessary supplies and Mrdja was left to deal with everyone from other teams as result of his great idea.

No matter who decides to ask, explanation would be about the same:

In Serbia, there are some ppl that live this way.
They are mostly of Romani ancestry, but there are no particular rules in that regard
They get some cheap van or very small truck that can be driven on car license (vehicle even fully loaded must be below 3500 kg), get some megaphone to make themselves heard and do same thing that our team just did.

Ofc we dont expect influx of more junk as we kinda already have enough of our own but they do genuinely buy old stuff in decrepit and not exactly usable condition atm

Are their prices really the best?
Not informed in that regard, but i feel better price may be obtained by hauling this crap to junkyard yourself or if possible actually fixing it.

Would their vehicles be eligible as inspiration for SR entry?
Long answer would be
Judge for yourself
Search any of this on Youtube
“Staro gvozdje/gvozde/gvožđe” (Old iron)
“Stari akumulatori” (old car batteries)
“Kupujemo staro gvozdje” (we buy old iron)
“Cistimo/Čistimo podrume, dvorista/dvorišta i supe/šupe” (We clean basements, backyards and sheds(of trash))"
And see whats driven

But short answer is very much YES

Are they annoying and obnoxius for most of ppl?
Honestly yes, but we are mostly ignoring them if their services arent explicitly needed to us

But as always, if someone is up for some RP related or unrelated to this, i wouldnt mind.

3 Likes

you may get the grumpy side of my team, shouting through cam at 2-moon when (almost) everyone is asleep

nvm my team isn’t even in camp

1 Like

RK Series Racing; Stage 16 Drive

and

Team Shift Happens

(Collab with @Madrias, obviously)


It was still very much dark in the Allvenitz Steamworks, save for some dim electrical lighting dotted about the room. At precisely 4 hours before expected sunrise, Connor’s internal timer went off, kicking him out of his stand-by state, with everyone else partaking in the Shitbox Rally still asleep. The only other people awake were the local workers with the Bricksley’s soon-to-be rail wheels and Neville, who was supervising the whole thing as best he could.
Those wheels did already look mostly complete, but the four of them were stacked onto a lathe-like tool, where they were to be balanced for the expected speeds.

Connor did not wait long to execute the assigned task, choosing to get Constantin out of his sleep first.
He approaches the Dione, carefully opening the front passenger door, behind which Constantin was “sat” on a heavily reclined seat.
Connor gave Constantin some light taps to his right jaw area, which already was enough to get Constantin into a very vaguely alert state.
“Good morning. It is approximately four hours before sunrise.”, Connor calmly stated.
“Yeah cool thanks.” Constantin mumbled back, still in the process of waking up.
“I am going to get Malavera awake.” Connor replied, already heading off to the tent Malavera was in.
“You do that…”, Constantin replied, while he put the seatback up to it’s upright position.
Connor then went over to the tent as announced.

Malavera gave a quiet, half-growled groan as he slowly sat up. Sleep, for the last hour or so, had been impossible as a dropped tool in the distance had rang out quite sharply and startled him awake. He’d been laying there in hopes that he’d fall back asleep, but instead, had just heard the sounds of machining going on, the sound of a lathe removing metal to get the wheels closer to their finished form.

As Connor walked over, Malavera crawled out of the tent. “Good morning, Connor,” Malavera said, standing up to his full height and stretching a bit before reaching back into his tent and putting his shirt back on.

Connor looked at Malavera with a bit of confusion.
“Good morning. I see you are already awake.”, he said, mentally ticking off the task of getting him out of bed.

By this time, Constantin was also mentally functional and got out of the car, closing the door with a noticeable thud that didn’t seem to bother Tim at all.
He then came over to the other two, his face looking perfectly awake, but everything else as if he hadn’t slept for a week.

“Mornin. Looks like the wheels need some work still…”, Constantin spoke to the other two while trying to neaten himself up as best he could.
“Indeed they do. They currently are being balanced to make them as round as we can get them to be. They should be completed shortly.”, Neville spoke eagerly and with little consideration for the volume of his voice.

This didn’t seem to phase Valentin or Tim, though the members of Shift happens did not take this lack of awareness too kindly.

Rukari startled awake at the loud voice, then grumbled out, “Why don’t you step on my tail next time? It’d be just as unpleasant a wake-up call, but at least your foot will also be in pain.”

The loud voice seemed to also have an effect on the rest of the crew, with Kivenaal sitting up in the back of the truck with a glare before shoving the door open and climbing out, Kayden soon joining him with a rather large yawn, Kaylie grumbling as she crawled out of her tent, still looking sore from yesterday’s fall, and Jayde muttering under his breath, “It’s not worth it to cast silence, he didn’t know any better.”

As they made their way out of the car or tent one by one, Rukari made his annoyance very known, which made Neville realize what just happened

“Oh fuck… i am so sorry!”, he started, going from heightened voice to almost whispering halfway through trying to excuse himself from the bad he just did.
“Good job in pissing of an entire herd of furballs.” Constantin commented, aware that his choice of words probably was less than ideal, though in his defense he didn’t have any real info on what the members of Shift Happens actually were.
“At least that saves us the effort of getting them out of sleep. Well, most of them…”, he added, chuckling a bit while looking at Valentin tucked between some toolboxes and sleeping through all this mess as if he was at home, in bed, undisturbed by anything.

At the other end of the shop, the workers were stepping back from the workpieces, followed by some nasty coil whine as it spun up to whatever speed the lathe could muster, the four workmen watching the array of wheels for any oscillations and vibrations. A few moments later, the speed was dialed back down and they got back to work, turning the cylindrical wheels into conical ones.

Malavera smirked, then quipped back to Constantin, “I’d prefer the term ‘pack’ over ‘herd,’ though given our heavily feline-biased nature, maybe ‘pride’ is better.”

This, of course, earned him a light elbow in the ribs from Kaylie, followed by her looking through the building, seeing the balancing process going on for the wheels.

Kivenaal grabbed one of the water jugs off of the roof of the Bricksley, flipped the cap open, and took a long drink. When Kayden poked him in the side and made him spill water all over himself, Kivenaal bonked him on the head with the now-empty container.

“Really? It’s too early for this shit,” Jayde grumbled, watching as Kivenaal and Kayden had a momentary, surprisingly quiet scuffle that ended with Kayden managing to knock Kivenaal’s hat flying, only to get knocked over and kicked in the ass by a cowboy boot for his trouble.

“Settle down, children,” Kaylie quipped, looking over at the two of them.

Rukari looked over at Neville, then asked, “You say the wheels are still being worked on. When can we expect that they will be done?”

“I’d guess we’d be able to get breakfast done first,” Malavera said. “Granted, we’re almost out of easy supplies.”
“As far as i am aware, they are currently being balanced for roundness. Should be done in less than half an hour.”, Neville said, turning around to have a quick look at the workers near the lathe.
“Definitely less than half an hour. Seems like they are shaving off the excess into the conical shape that rail wheels have.”

“Well in terms of breakfast i am covered. Still have an MRE i can feast on. Though we will have to get at least Valentin out of “bed” soon, with how he takes longer than your locomotives to get going…”, Constantin commented.

“If he takes 2 hours to wake up then i would genuinely be amazed.”, Neville replied, unaware of the differing time scale on earth.

“Had a case of that once already.”, Constantin quipped back. “I’ll get breakfast for myself.”
Constantin then went back to the Dione to retrieve canned bread and some butter.

“You’ll ruin your fireboxes doing that,” Rukari mentioned to Neville. “Better to bring them up to temperature slowly when you can, otherwise you earn yourself a lot more work.”

“We’re in a steamworks,” Kivenaal said. “Maintenance is their business.”

“Hey, less talking, more making of food, please,” Kayden grumbled.

“Thank you for volunteering to cook the meal, then,” Rukari quipped back, making Kayden groan.

“Do we even have any food left in the truck?” Kaylie asked.

Malavera reached into the truck bed and grabbed what was left of the supplies they’d picked up the day before, then said, “We’ve got plenty of fruits that should be eaten soon.”

“Great. Breakfast without actual food in it,” Kayden grumbled. He then watched in shock as Kivenaal grabbed a fat orange out of the bag and bit into it like it was an apple. “Seriously? You’re supposed to peel those.” He watched in horror as Rukari did the same thing, then shook his head.

Jayde, on the other hand, just chuckled. “Good luck convincing either of them that they’re doing that wrong. That’s just how they eat citrus fruit,” Jayde said, picking out a green apple and pulling out one of his knives to cut slices out of it, eating each one off of the blade of his knife.

Malavera chuckled and opened the toolbox, pulling out his personal supplies and grabbing an MRE labeled in a language that was hard to read, even with the rings on, peeling it open and taking a bite out of the very dense brick inside it. This was followed by a lot of chewing and Malavera grabbing his canteen from inside the truck with a grimace. With his other head, he mentioned, “I do so very much hate these things. How in the name of the Moons above can one bite completely dry out your mouth? I swear, whoever invented these deliberately wanted to torture people.”

Kaylie and Kayden shared a glance before reaching for Malavera’s bag, only to stop when Malavera shook his head. “They might not be safe for the two of you, they’re made for my kind.”

“So what are we supposed to do for food?” Kayden grumbled.

Kivenaal looked over at Kayden, then replied, “You could go hunt. Or, you could do the sensible thing and head into town to buy food so we don’t have to rush to do that when we arrive at the next camp.”

Kaylie leaned over the bed rail, grabbed two decent looking apples, and handed one to Kayden. “Quit whining about eating fruit, you know you’re able to eat some of it,” Kaylie grumbled.

“Yeah, and it’s not right,” Kayden said, taking a bite out of the apple with a grimace.

Malavera shook his head again, taking a long swig of water before taking a smaller bite of the tough brick again.

“What exactly is that?” Kivenaal asked, looking at the block.

Malavera glanced at the label, then said, “Supposedly, beef, vitamins, minerals, wheat powder, and salt, cooked and formed into a block and then thorougly dehydrated, before being vacuum sealed. They’ll keep for about 5 years.”

“Five of yours, or five on Earth?” Kivenaal asked.

“Mine. About 35 years on Earth. Provided the seal stays intact and they’re stored properly, that is. Truth be told, I think they’re designed to be something you only eat because it’s better than starvation,” Malavera replied.

Breakfast was much less eventful for Constantin, who had a slice or two of buttered bread before deciding that it wasn’t exactly enough. Digging back into the box, he locates a small package of biscuits, which he happily pulls out before dumping the remaining contents and the box itself into his backpack.

“Good old Bunker Buster Biscuits. Love 'em.”, Constantin spoke while opening the plastic wrapping, followed by him happily munching on them, followed by a drink rivalling Malavera’s in volume. After all, they were known for being dry as the Sahara and somehow being a good substitute to charcoal bricks if paired with a suitable fire starter.

Other than that, breakfast was not exactly exciting, especially with half of RK Series Racing still asleep.
Eventually, a pair of workers came over, pushing a crude wooden cart of sorts with a stack of shiny flanged rail wheels on top of it.

“Got them done. Finally.”, one of the two proclaims proudly, though it is obvious that the two were exhausted.
“Yeah… that guy of yours specified really tight tolerances that turned out to be major ass-pain in some areas… Alas, here they are.”, the other spoke, before both headed off to collect the two other colleagues, soon heading out for their deserved time away from work.

With the wheels ready and “breakfast” finished, Malavera and Kivenaal slowly moved the truck into a maintenance bay to test-fit the new wheels and set the vehicle down on the rails for the first time.

While they were busy getting the truck lifted up to fit the new set of wheels, Rukari pushed the cart over to Kivenaal and Malavera, who had the front end up in the air on jack stands and had the front wheels off already, tossed into the truck bed.

There was a quiet scrape and clunk as Kivenaal lifted the first wheel up, gripping it around the rim with all four hands before placing it over the spindle, where Malavera then loosely spun on the lug nuts. They did the same for the other side, before gripping the wheels and torquing the lug nuts down appropriately. With that done, the truck was settled down onto the rails, and then the process was repeated for the rear of the vehicle.

It hadn’t taken that long, but sure enough, the truck now sat on the rails on shiny new rail wheels.

Of course, this gave everyone the first real view of the first problem they’d need to solve, as the Bricksley on the rails seemed to tower over the Dione.

The size disparity problem became obvious almost immediately to Constantin, who decided that now was the time to get Valentin out of bed. Before he could do so, however, a shunting engine that was within the steamworks had just finished the final inspection and was now ready to be sent back to work.
As such, it aggressively blared it’s whistle to announce the moving train to everyone within and around the building, after which the steam pressure within forced the cylinders into motion, propelling the engine out the door and onto the yard out front.
Amazingly, Valentin still slept through all of this commotion, not even moving an inch.

“Uhm… is he still alive? Like… how could anyone sleep through a goddamn steam train whistle going off?”, Constantin commented, which prompted Connor to check.
He walks up to Valentin, who has been sleeping on Constantin’s sleeping bag for basically the entire night, save for the first hour or so spent in the maintenance trench below the Dione.
Once there, he determines that Valentin is indeed alive and well, albeit still fast asleep or unconscious simply by closely looking at him. With basic vital signs known and normal (for a sleeping 7 footer, at least), he went a level further, eliminating unconsciousness via a pain reflex test.

Needless to say, Valentin was indeed not unconscious, as the classic pinch-test has him roll around and off of the sleeping bag, groaning.
“He was asleep.”, Connor confirmed, since Valentin did show a reaction to pain.
“Good job… now to wait until his brain actually gets going…”, Constantin replied, crossing his arms while looking at Connor and Valentin.

Kaylie startled as the whistle blared, glaring in the direction of the loud, offending, brightly-colored object that was the shunting locomotive as it departed the steamworks. Kayden, on the other hand, looked concerned about Valentin right up until the moment that Connor pinched him and got some movement out of him.

“How the fuck can he sleep through a train whistle?” Kaylie said, shaking her head.

Rukari shrugged. “Not entirely sure myself.”

At the far end of the steamworks, Malavera and Kivenaal were joined by Jayde, who helped put the last tire in the bed. “So, any problems putting this thing on the rails?” Jayde asked.

“Getting it lined up was a bitch, but it’s on there,” Malavera said.

“Shame the engine’s still broken,” Kivenaal added. “It’d be interesting to see how it’d handle the rails like this under its own power.”

Malavera looked down through the steamworks, then said, “We might have to come up with a backup plan in case Val doesn’t wake up on time. We don’t have enough time to make another set of rail wheels, and I can’t learn how to operate on the line in just a few hours, but… We have tires, there is an old steam truck out there, we could technically tow the Bricksley.”

Jayde mentioned, “Valentin’s waking up. Just very slowly.”

“Good, because while I’d like to drive a steam truck,” Kivenaal said, “I’d rather not have to figure it out while towing something else.”

“Well now we wait. He will get going… eventually…”, Constantin commented.
Thinking about it a little more, he took a quick look around, spotting a set of things that could speed up the process a bit. He went off to get them out of anyone’s view, returning with a sizeable bucket full of water.
Said bucket was blinked down near Valentin for now, spilling some of it’s contents onto the surrounding floor.
He then went over to Valentin, who conveniently was not on the sleeping bag anymore, dragging said bag clear from his vicinity.
“Mind if i borrow your phone for a second?”, Constantin asked, followed by Valentin actually handing his phone over without a second thought, not that he was awake enough to produce that second thought to begin with.

With the electronics secured and his sleeping bag safely stowed, the contents of the bucket made their way straight to Valentin, absolutely drenching his entire upper body in one go.
The once practically asleep Valentin turned into a perfectly awake, though very soggy and confused Valentin, frantically flailing around in a futile attempt to shield himself from the latter half of the bucket.
Once the waves stopped crashing down on him, he cleared his field of view from the mass of hair now stuck to his face, followed by him looking around, trying to make sense of what is going on.

“Seems like jumpstarting your brain works.”, Constantin chuckled, still holding the now-empty bucket.
“You blithering idiot! Just because you can get up on a whim doesn’t mean everyone can!”, Valentin blared after a short pause of processing, going from laying on his back to seated in the process.
“Well we don’t have half a day to wait for you to get going. We’ve got problems to solve… Like how the hell are you gonna tow the Bricksley over there?”, Constantin countered, pointing at the truck in question.
“I don’t know!, I just got the nuclear option of being woken up!”, Valentin snapped, still visibly angry at the rude awakening.
“Well that nuclear option would be the steam whistle going off about 20 minutes ago which you slept through in it’s entirety without even flinching…”, Constantin protested, not really wanting this to escalate into a fist-fight both because Valentin would lose by a landslide and because he himself hasn’t been awake for all that long either.

Kaylie groaned as Constantin dumped a bucket of water over Val, which had the expected result of being one hell of an alarm clock. “Jayde,” Kaylie called out across the steamworks, “Could you bring my good towel over here? Val’s going to need it.”

Jayde thought for a moment, trying to figure out what Kaylie meant by the “good” towel, up until he realized the real intent. He grabbed Kaylie’s bubble-gum pink towel and, making sure he was hidden from sight by a locomotive, quickly put a mild enchantment on it to wick up just a bit more water when it was used. It wouldn’t be much, but now they had a towel that would certainly help dry off Valentin. He wandered over, knowing better than to run considering the multiple hazards around, then handed Valentin the bright pink towel.

“It’s not much, but Kaylie said to bring the good towel. Should soak up most of the water without too much of a problem,” Jayde said in a calm, polite, and friendly voice, hoping to defuse the situation a little.

Kaylie, on the other hand, gave a grimace as she realized Val’s nice new suit was also soaked. “Not sure that’ll pull the water out of his suit, though,” Kaylie admitted. “It’s good at getting water out of fur, but… Not sure if it’ll pull water out of fabric.”

“Well thank you…” Valentin grumbled, still annoyed at the extreme measures taken to get him awake.
He dries off his face and most of his hair, the latter remaining somewhat moist through force of habit. The suit, however, remained soaked all the way to and including the skin beneath.
Still, something is better than nothing as he returns the towel to Kaylie, completely oblivious to the enchanted nature of it.

After that, Valentin just sat there, trying to actually get going and mentally prepare for what is to come.
That being figuring out the operational things of how Robert will move the Bricksley along the rails.

Kayden rummaged in one of his pockets and turned up three of the cycling bars, looked over at Val, and decided to hand him two of them. “It’s not really a good breakfast, but… We don’t have any decent supplies, either. I mean, I can run over to the truck and get the mixed bag of fruit if you want to pick through it, but otherwise, it’s just these. I’ll have to get my canteen from the truck anyway, so it’s not an inconvenience either way,” Kayden said.

Kaylie chuckled as Jayde tried his best to wring out as much water from the towel as he could, his canteen sitting at his hip pretty much in plain sight.

Over by the truck, Kivenaal and Malavera were still holding a discussion about the old steam truck when it was noticed that Rukari seemed to be missing.

“Where the hell do you think he is?” Kivenaal asked.

“Oh, this isn’t good. When’s the last time you saw him?” Malavera inquired.

“Breakfast, eating an orange. How about you?”

“Same. The good news is, he can’t have gone far,” Malavera said.

“So you think. He knows how to operate steam vehicles, Mal. We’re surrounded by things that run on steam.”

“Yeah, and we know he wouldn’t steal a train.”

“Shit. Ten credits says he’s fucking around with the steam truck,” Kivenaal said, getting up and heading toward that area of the steamworks. Malavera followed shortly after, and just outside the shop, they found Rukari with an oil can.

“What are you doing!?” Kivenaal asked.

“Preparing our backup plan. Just need to fill the tanks and light the boiler,” Rukari replied.

“Val’s awake, you fool,” Malavera said. “Once he figures out how to deal with the two vehicles, we’ll be okay.”

Kayden stormed over to the doors, then said, “You know, the three of you don’t have to shout. Kaylie and I can hear the three of you loud and clear over all of the background noise in the shop.”

“It’s certainly something…”, Val replied, pocketing one bar and opening the other. After taking a bite or two out of the opened one, he fumbles around to get up to standing, making the mess that is now his suit even more obvious. The front was all kinds of soggy and wet while almost everything else was in some state of dusty.

Regardless, he vaguely overheard the discussion going on about Rukari prepping the steam truck out back, promting him to head over to the Bricksley and take a look.
It indeed was substantially larger, as was already known. But with the Bricksley now being dead, another issue presented itself, it being that it couldn’t provide any motive power with a dead engine.

“Can we get Robert railed? Would be good to know the true size and clearance relations between the two. Ideally one behind or ahead of the other.” Valentin ordered, looking back at the Dione.

Constantin immediately went over to push it into position, though it became obvious that steering, pushing and aligning was a bit much to handle alone, the latter of which was covered by Valentin also heading over again to help rail it up.

“I’d appreciate some help here.” Constantin said from near the Dione, which pulled the last member out of Dreamland.
Tim moans, looking about the car’s interior a bit before greeting Constantin and Valentin.
“What happened to you?”, he inquired, unaware of the bucketload move earlier.
“Just… don’t ask…”, Valentin replied. “We need to get Robert railed, just a heads up.”
“Sure, i guess…”, Tim answered, getting out of the car to walk and stretch for a bit.

Kaylie and Jayde were the first ones to realize while the Dione was being moved, the Bricksley was right in the damn way of the easily-accessible set of rails. “Shit!” Kaylie said, taking off at a full sprint toward the truck, with Jayde unable to keep pace despite his longer stride. When Jayde finally caught up, the two of them pushed together, the Bricksley moving almost-effortlessly on the rails.

“We’ve got to go move the truck!” Kivenaal yelled, prompting Malavera to take off toward the doorway. The same doorway where Kayden was standing, aware of the need to move the truck and making a few steps in the right direction to help, only to get bowled into by 500 pounds of charging two-headed wolf-man who hadn’t anticipated Kayden taking so long to get moving. The two of them went to the floor hard, with Rukari quickly following them, tripping over Malavera’s leg, and doing a rather unelegant tumble across the shop floor.

Kivenaal walked in, looked at the three of them, and rolled his eyes. “Really? Are doorways that foreign of a concept to you three?” Kivenaal quipped, stepping around the pile-up that was Kayden and Malavera, then looking over at Rukari, who had stopped mere feet from landing in a maintenance pit covered in coal dust.

Kayden groaned and shoved Malavera off of him, getting up with a wince. “I feel like you hit me with the fucking truck, Mal,” Kayden groaned.

“I hit one of my heads on that fucking rock you call a skull,” Malavera replied with a grimace. He wiped a finger against his left lower lip and winced, seeing the red tint of blood. “That fucking hurt.”

“Oh, yeah, bit your lip when you hit me in the head?” Kayden asked, taking a look.

Malavera grimaced and gave a light nod.

“I guess we’re even, then,” Kayden said with a smirk. He ducked as Malavera took a half-hearted swing at him, chuckling as he dodged the friendly punch. “So, how did Rukari do?”

“Other than the fact that if we were playing Charades and he was attempting to mimic a scorpion quite well,” Kivenaal said, “he seems okay.”

By the time the four of them made it over to the truck, Jayde and Kaylie had already pushed it forward enough to fit the Dione behind it.

The issue of understaffing solved itself via Connor steering, Valentin directing and Constantin pushing the car about. As it made it’s way out of it’s current “parking spot”, the commotion in the doorway unfolded, garnering curious looks from all four members, all of which asking “Are you okay” in their usual variants.
Once it became obvious that both Kayden and Malavera were (mostly) fine, they returned to maneuvering the Dione about the place.

Getting closer to the bay where the Bricksley was railed up, they discovered that Jayde and Kaylie already made some space for the Dione to park up behind it.
What followed was the usual process of railing up, except that the boiler did not carry any pressure at this time.

Kayden, Malavera, Rukari, and Kivenaal joined Kaylie and Jayde at the truck, where Malavera opened up one of the doors and grabbed a clean shop towel to wipe the blood off of his lip and chin. There, they watched the process of the Dione converting from road to rail, with a bit of commentary here and there about it seeming a bit easier than railing up the Bricksley.

“Shit. Shouldn’t the truck be behind the Dione?” Kayden asked.

“Steam engines can push a train just as well as they can pull it,” Malavera replied. “The only difference here is that someone’s going to have to manually control both ends of the train, because we can’t hook the brakes together.”

“Yeah… that and the fact that i have no way in hell of seeing past the truck. Which means that we either are swapping ends and waste a ton of traction that we don’t have, someone with railroading experience tells me what’s going on… somehow… or i’m not the one actually in the driver Seat of Robert.”, Valentin added to Malavera’s explanation, mentally weighing each option against the others.

“The best logical option is to have you up front giving signals to someone behind to control the Dione. The issue is, we have a 6 seat truck and 6 people already, and only one person who could fit in the Dione,” Malavera replied.

Kaylie groaned. “Great. If that’s the case, I hope the weather stays mild.”

“Let me check something…”, Val remarked, after which he went into the Dione from the fireman’s side, pulling out a little cheat-sheet containing info on what each lever does. After reading through it, an idea comes to mind.
“Here’s the plan. The reverser lever on the fireman’s side can override the throttle setting enough to make it redundant. So whoever is in the driver seat instead of me just has to weld their foot to the floor and keep it there for as long as that person is sat there. We could modify the cable pull, but we’d lose reversing in that case. Connor can then control power from his end, allowing direct visual communication from the Bricksley back to the Dione. Back-to-front could be solved via light signals, horn or the whistle, if need be…”, Valentin explained rather confidently. The lack of any objection or protesting from Connor boosted that confidence further.

“So… Kaylie gets the driver seat, then?”, Tim inquired.
Kaylie looked over at Tim, then back to Valentin. “How hot is it, usually, in the driver’s seat? Because if it’s cooler than in the back, I might take that option,” Kaylie asked.

“Truth be told, i don’t know. To me, it’d perfectly bearable windows up, but i feel like i’ve won the gene-pool lottery in terms of heat resistance, especially since that chain out there and human hairdo don’t mix all that well. And i haven’t been in the back for extended periods of time to say much about that either… However, on my way in and out of the car during crutch-times, the temperature gradient surely was noticeable.”, Valentin answered, unsure if that was what Kaylie wanted to hear while running one hand through his voluminous hair to prove the point.

“The temperature should be anywhere between zero point four and two degrees Celsius colder in the front row. A steeper gradient is expected if any window is rolled down. Absolute temperatures range from two to six degrees above ambient, depending on vehicle state and ambient temperature.”, Connor added calmly.
Kaylie nodded. “Should be doable,” she said. “All I have to do is sit in there and pin the accelerator to the floor, then?”

Malavera chuckled, then said, “Kaylie’s just making sure she’s heard it correctly. It’s not every day someone tells you to get in the driver’s seat and floor it.”

“Get in, floor it and keep it floored until we either arrive or need to reverse, in which case Connor will tell you when to take that foot off.”, Valentin confirmed, grinning a little at the hilarity of perpetually welding one’s foot to the floor.
"With control over Robert sorted, Connor and I need some way of communicating. I guess we’ll just head off while you pack up your stuff. Can also get the two coupled if you want and have some spare time.
After that, the two went off to discuss and arrange a set of signals in both directions. Meanwhile, Constantin and Tim got to work packing up what little equipment was taken off of and out of the Dione yesterday.

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Kaylie stuck around near the truck in case she was needed, while Kayden, Jayde, Rukari, and Kivenaal gathered up and packed up the tents. Malavera, meanwhile, made sure the load was secured in the truck bed, periodically stopping to try cleaning the blood out of his snow-white fur.

With everything they needed now secured in the truck bed, the team prepared for their first proper rail adventure.

It took quite a while until a set of signals was established that covered the controls and instructions needed for Valentin to remotely operate the train from up front. By that point, Shift Happens was long done packing up supplies.

“Alright. I think Connor and i have got our communications figured out, which means that we are good to go. We are going to take seats, Connor will steam Robert and and we will take a leisurly trip to the other end of the Yard, where i shall arrange some things with the signalman. After that, we will proceed on the line as usual… well ‘usual’…”, Valentin announced to everyone present.
Following that, all members of the now-fusioned 10-person team took their places, with Malavera behind the now-useless wheel and Valentin on the other side flanking Kayden between the two. The second row had Kivenaal behind Malavera, Jayde staring at the radio array and Rukari filling up the last available seat. Back in the Dione, it was the usual affair, with Tim and Constantin in the rear left and rear right seats respectively and Constantin sat in the fireman’s seat. The only change had Kaylie in the driver seat previously vacated by Valentin.

With everyone seated and ready to go, the waiting began for Robert to raise steam, since Connor was about the last person to enter either car.

Kaylie looked over at Connor’s side of the dashboard, watching the various gauges climb slowly yet steadily as the boiler behind them whooshed like a blowtorch under a tea kettle, unable to hide a grin as she had, as instructed, pinned the gas pedal all the way down. She had the window rolled down a couple of inches to get some airflow into the car, her left arm resting on the door panel with her thumb hooked in the equally-unnecessary steering wheel rim, her right hand resting loosely on the wheel at the 5-o-clock position.

Up front, things were a little less calm as everyone waited for Robert to steam up. With all the windows down, they could hear the boiler far behind them warming up, the sounds of other locomotives nearby shuffling around, the rattles and clanks of steamworks toolboxes being picked through for tools to work on the other engines nearby.

Jayde stared at the radio panel, rendered useless through both insufficient power and courtesy of whatever horrible screeching squeal had blown their speakers out on the way through camp, and tried to imagine what the locals would think of this unusual mess.

Rukari gripped the front edge of the bench hard, a little nervous as he wasn’t sure how well things would go with being pushed, engineless, down the rails.

Kivenaal was in an almost-meditative state, not quite awake and not exactly sleeping as he sat there, waiting for the convoy to start.

Kayden looked out of the windshield, trying to play “spot the signal” already despite the vehicles still being inside.

Malavera held onto the steering wheel, his foot resting near the brake pedal, having already made sure the transfer case and transmission were out of gear and that the front wheel drive portion of the 4x4 unit was disconnected. A last quick check ensured that both differential locks were disengaged. His sharp eyes were also scanning the horizon, hoping to help Valentin out with signals as needed.

Not much was happening in the “engine” of the newly formed train as Connor simply went about the procedure of raising steam pressure. Up front, Valentin was not sure, so he decided to simply ‘ask’. His right arm thus went out of the window and upwards at the elbow, his palm facing the centerline of the car, showing his intent on transmitting a speed-related command. The reply was expected to be two short blips of the electrical horn, which took a while to be returned as pressure was not yet in operating ranges. Eventually, the reply came as Connor reached over into Kaylie’s half to tap the horn a couple of times.
The signal for intent turned into a 10kph forward movement signal as Valentin turned his palm to face the train’s front while extending just his index finger. Not long after, Connor once again reached over, this time for the ignition barrel to sound the steam while for two long notes, followed by him setting the train into motion.
As soon as they started rolling, Valentin went back to showing ‘expect signal’, followed shortly after by just his fist being up there, indicating a request to stop with service brakes. Lo and behold, the train came to a halt all of 15 feet out of the door, juuuust shy of a disc shunting signal.

“Right, now we all know that the stopping distances have increased,” Malavera said. “Next time, call out that you’re using the brakes and I’ll help out.”

Kayden stared at the disc-shaped signal and shook his head. “I didn’t even know that was a signal.”

“Yard signal,” both Malavera and Jayde said almost simultaneously.

The movement had been just enough to jolt Kivenaal out of his mental hibernation, where he took in that they’d moved, but not very far.

Behind them, in the Dione, Kaylie admitted, “It feels really weird to be holding down the gas pedal and to have the car going nowhere.”

“Noted. Most of the work will probably happen from the back though to avoid excessive loads as the bar runs into either end because of the slack in there.”, Valentin replied. At least it would be useful in case of an emergency stop or if more braking power was needed otherwise.

In the powered railcar that was Robert, Connor tried to explain why they took this solution:
“I understand. If you were to let off now, we would apply full power in reverse. I can offset the your throttle input with this lever here and thereby dictate actual power levels without you having to do anything. Just inform me if you have to take it off the gas for any reason.”

“Okay, that’s definitely noted. Don’t take my foot off of the gas pedal or things go badly,” Kaylie said.

Up front, Kayden nodded as Valentin informed everyone that he had to mention the change of plans to the people in charge of the railway, before Val hopped out of the truck to inform everyone in the Dione.

Kaylie understood that they’d parked up without refueling the night before, which meant extra time getting ready, as well as getting the schedule changed for their two-vehicle consist. She sat there patiently as Valentin walked over to a signalbox, trying to figure out what was going on up ahead of them.

Jayde took the opportunity, with Val out of the car, to give Rukari a rather hard elbow to the chest. “Quit digging your elbow into my ribs, Rukari,” Jayde grumbled out, ignoring Rukari’s wince.

Valentin was gone for the better part of ten minutes before returning to the train, first relaying the relevant info to Connor:
“Okay. Signalling staff has been informed about the second carriage and lower expected speeds. We should be able to keep up with longitude trains when accounting for them stopping, but we will need to make way if they do catch up. But now, refueling.”
“Understood.”, Connor replied.
Valentin then headed up front, climbing back into the cab, effectively repeating what he told Connor and the others before. Soon after, the train began to move backwards across the yard once more, before stopping almost immediately after.
Valentin then adjusted the mirror on his side before looking at the other one, realizing that he couldn’t see anything through the polished bumper trim “mirror”.
“I cannot see anything…”, Valentin mumbled while moving around, trying to get a good view of whatever trackside signage and signals may be there.

“One moment, we might be able to improve that,” Malavera said, hearing Valentin’s mumble of being unable to see. He peeled the tape off of the mirror housing, put the bumper cover under his seat for the moment, then dismounted the rear view mirror from the cab of the truck. After looking around for the tape, Malavera carefully attached the rear view mirror to the old mirror housing, then helped Valentin aim it until he could see the best that the mirror would let them.

Once the visibility had been improved slightly, which also included Kivenaal putting Rukari in a mild head-lock to give Val the opportunity to look out of the rear window if needed from under the radio console, the two vehicle consist started rolling backwards into an obvious refueling area, as they passed by a water tower, coal storage, and finally stopped near an area labeled with both “Light” and “Heavy” fuel oil.

The impromptu mirror modification ended up by no means idea, but still infinitely better than the previous version, now that he could see at least something through that one.
“Well thank you, i guess…”, Valentin said, before commanding the reversing to continue.

Once in the refueling bay, not much of note happened up front, as Valentin was not directly part of the established refueling process, courtesy of the difficulties in getting in and out of the car across the fireman’s seat or the rear bench.

In the back half, nothing unusual was happening either, with the refueling process happing like any other previous one, except for some added curiosity about how Robert was now pushing an oversized truck along.
Eventually, they are ready to roll again and make another trip across the yard to the starter signal entering the longitude mainline, where they were scheduled to wait until the next longitude train passed.

“Now we wait for the next train to blow our doors off, plus three miles.”, Valentin commented half-jokingly.

Eventually, that train made itself heard simply by virtue of the sheer noise the blastpipes made every time steam was sent out through the chimney. The train cane and went, barreling past the two teams, disappearing into the distance.

“There we go! Should get a clear way any minute now.”, Valentin said, watching the massive semaphore signal, which eventually raised it’s arm, allowing Robert to enter the line.
A command was sent backwards asking for the highest speed the previously established signal code could handle, that being 150kph, limited by the 4 bit binary nature of it.
Still, Connor gave Robert a run for it’s money in trying to get up to speed, though 150kph turned out to be quite a bit beyond what the new consist was capable of, instead levelling off a wee bit above 130kph. Even Valentin was suspicious about the perceived speed:
“This is it? This can’t be 150kph…”, he mumbled, now calling for progressively lower speeds until he could feel it decelerating.
“Huh… looks like our new top speed is somewhere around 130kph…”, he spoke again, half aloud. “Beats doing the same on shitty, unpaved roads…”

Malavera looked down at the speedometer and saw it holding around 70 to 75 MPH, then said, “Looks like the new wheels have our speedometer reading a bit low, then. Still, this is much better than another back-breaking ride on dirt roads.”

In back, Kaylie called out the tachometer numbers as Valentin asked for speed changes, with Connor then making adjustments until, eventually, they settled in at what Connor said was 130 kilometers per hour. “I see. So we’re doing about 80 miles per hour,” Kaylie responded, doing the mental math herself, using her fingers in a somewhat similar pattern to Valentin’s codes out the window to store numbers in binary.

Up front, things settled into a realm of peaceful semi-chaos, as with such smooth “road” conditions, the three in the rear bench decided to try to relax, with Jayde watching the countryside rush by, while Rukari dug out a handful of dice, split them into two equal handfuls, grabbed two red plastic cups, and started a little game with Kivenaal where the winner was whoever had the higher number. Malavera kept a keen set of eyes watching for signals, as did Kayden.

“Signal ahead is clear,” Malavera mentioned.

Moments later, Kayden grumbled out, “Yeah, now I see it.”

“Wait is i… oh yeah it is! That draft is getting really annoying!”, Valentin comments while trying hard to not be blinded by his wildly flapping hair.
“Well thank yoPFFFRT!! Pffft… anyone’s got some hair ties or something?”, he exclaimed again when one particularly nasty strand finaggled it’s way into his mouth as he spoke.
“I usually don’t have to deal with winds that strong…”

Rukari fished around in his pocket, then leaned forward and held out a handful of rubber bands for Val. Kayden looked over, then said, “Val, please take those and save all of us from the misery Rukari’s inflicted on all of us with those miserable pieces of stretchy rubber.”

Malavera chuckled and Kayden snapped, “Laugh it up, snowball. You’re not the one he’s snapped on the back of the ear. Three times.”

“That’s why I’m laughing,” Malavera admitted. “He does that to you because he knows you won’t get him back.”

Valentin took a quick, though confused look at the rubber bands, taking all of them and moving them to the dashboard for the time being. After that, they went into his hair, one by one, eventually turning the unwieldy mess into a somewhat contained, segmented ponytail, which was much more resistant to the draft coming in through the rolled-down window next to him.
“That should do, for now at least. Not exactly comfortable, nor pretty, i guess. But it works.”, Valentin commented as he went back to focusing on his duties as the train controller.

On the other end, things were settling down as well, with none of the three really saying anything, instead watching the landscape go by in case of the two humans in the second row and Connor handling the boiler controls and watching for hand signals from up front.

The remainder of the stage went surprisingly smoothly, eventually arriving a a small depot near Temmingarda.
“That’s about as close as we are gonna get. I’ll head back and have Robert de-steamed.” Valentin said, hopping out and doing as announced, followed shortly thereafter by the well-known snake-hissing that is the boiler pressure release valve.

After the engine was declared safe, the remaining members of RK Series Racing got to work collecting their supplies from the roof of the Dione, leaving everything non-essential behind to save on weight.
As they arrived in the railway depot near Temmingarda, and Connor let Kaylie know she could release the gas pedal, she lifted her foot with a slight squeak as the pedal returned to the top. She left the car after the others had, rejoining the “lead half” of Shift Happens and helping in grabbing up tents and cooking supplies.

Then it was just the long walk into camp, the ten of them all just wanting to get some rest after a long voyage.

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RK Seires Racing; Stage 16 Camp

and

Team Shift Happens

(@Madrias )


OOC: flags and italics in dialogue indicate spoken languages that are not English.


After arriving in Temmingarda, not much was left of the afternoon. Coupled with the team getting up way earlier than usual, the four members (especially Valentin) just wanted to get to camp, set up base and go to sleep. As such, they took what was deemed critical, such as tents, some small containers for fluids and cooking equipment off of the Dione, where it was distributed amongst the crew members.
A little detour was made into town to get some supplies, most of which were food and drink for the evening and following breakfast. Once at camp, Constantin was busy setting up tents, partially using whatever sticks and branches he could find while Tim got to work cooking with some help from the visibly sleep-deprived Valentin.
After dinner was had, cooking equipment and whatever clothing people rid themselves of for sleep was packed up and stored on the foot end of Valentin’s tent, which was now to be shared with Tim for lack of a third, separate tent for him to sleep in.
Despite it being a really tight fit, everyone found a reasonably comfortable position to sleep in for the time being…

After unloading their camping supplies from the truck and following RK Series Racing into camp, the members of Shift Happens ended up doing much the same, setting up their tents, getting a cooking fire going, and sending a few members into town to pick up supplies for dinner and breakfast.

With dinner done, dishes cleaned up, and everyone exhausted from the late night yesterday and the early start today, the team collectively crawled into their tents and settled in for the night…

With both teams very much asleep, all was going well until just after 2 moon, when Chicota of Team Mravolinski-Chitco decided that it would be a good idea to roll about camp, shouting something about buying up old junk like washing machines, ovens and the like.

The first trip across camp has Valentin and Constantin awake.
:sweden: Just let me sleep…”, Valentin mumbled, rolling over to the other side.
Constantin by that point was already wide-awake, his rather light sleep not helping.

The second lap of driving and shouting broke them, however, as both Valentin and Constantin scrambled their way out of their tents wearing little more than whatever set of pants they had during the day, furious about the utter lack of respect for other people and their nighttime rest.
As Valentin made his way out, Tim was also awoken by the noise of Valentin crawling out.
“Hey? What’s wrong now!?”, Tim inquired, not really getting a useful answer.
:sweden: Who is that blithering idiot who’s shouting across the camp like an absolute knobhead!?”, Valentin blared, looking around and eventually spotting Chicota rolling around camp, head out the window and repeating the same lines over and over again.
Constantin did about the same, for now managing to stay quiet.

As the beat-to-hell Kontir Cunningham rolled through camp with an idiot shouting out of the window, Kaylie groaned and rolled over in the tent. “Why do people have to be dicks at night?” she mumbled.

Kayden, likewise, was woken up by the shouting and yelling, though remembered his training to never act out of pure anger, restraining himself from grabbing his sword and preparing to make a convertible out of the truck.

Kivenaal snapped awake, then grumbled out, “So much for any more sleep tonight.”

Malavera retained enough presence of mind to not growl in camp, but instead stormed out of his tent shirtless, heading straight for the Kontir before anyone could possibly try to stop him, managing to give the Kontir a matching bed corner to the Bricksley with one well-placed kick.

Rukari was a little more restrained in his anger, walking out of the tent at a more measured pace with his claws unsheathed, waiting until the truck came back around and letting them drive past and earn a set of nearly-parallel pinstripes.

Jayde, on the other hand, woke up and looked through his bag at about the same time that Kaylie crawled out of the tent. He gave an almost-evil smirk, then grumbled out, “If it’s junk he wants, I’ll give him some.”

Kaylie started making her way back toward where the Bricksley had been parked, a smirk on her face because she had a plan.

By now, Tim also made his way out, more confused than angry, expecting another case of the massive wolf-creatures in camp, instead discovering both Scrants stood practically next to each other while staring at the Kontir Chicota was sat in.

:sweden: They want their junk? They’re getting it.”, Valentin grumbled, while powerwalking towards the yard where their impromptu train was parked just to be stopped by Constantin.
:sweden: No need to smash in their faces over some sleep now.”, he said, trying to calm Valentin down.
:sweden: YOU were the one who thought dumping a bucket full of water over someone half-asleep was a good idea! This is the THIRD… or fourth… time we’ve been robbed of our sleep! Just let me go so i can rid our car of that dead engine we’ve been hauling around for ten days!”, Valentin blared back.
Constantin somewhat relented by letting him go, but not without a half-serious shove to get him out of sight just that bit more quickly.
“What the hell is going on?”, Tim asked, absolutely confused by the whole situation.
“Those retards over there thought it was a good idea to try and buy up trash from other teams at… a bit past two moon.”, Constantin replied, checking his gifted watch for the time.
“And what is Val up to now?”, Tim added, looking at the feeble, shirtless Valentin stomping away from camp.
“Off to get some junk to gift to them…”, Constantin commented.
“Sounds like a perfect Karma moment.”, Tim said, somewhat grinning at the thought of redemption, heading off and trying to catch up with Valentin’s looong and speedy strides.

Kaylie looked over her shoulder to see Valentin and Tim making great progress in catching up to her, just before her ear twitched at a sudden loud sound from over by the truck.

Jayde stormed out of the tent in his shorts, his scarred-to-hell upper body visible to everyone as he carried his heavy, magically-expanded bag over to the truck. He flipped the flap open and turned it upside down, pouring out a seemingly-impossibly-large amount of gravel straight into the truck bed, mixed with broken glass and other debris. As the rain of crap stopped, Jayde flipped the bag upright, the flap closing as he slung it loosely over his shoulder. He then saw Malavera gearing up for another kick and waited until he’d committed, just barely, to whack him in the back of his other knee with his walking staff, causing Malavera to fall on his ass. “Get up and quit trying to beat up the truck. They want garbage, so find some and give it to them.”

Malavera bared his teeth at Jayde for a moment, before he got up, grabbed one of the camp area garbage cans, and dumped it into the bed.

By that time, Kaylie had gotten to the Bricksley and rummaged through the bed, grabbing up their dead-as-hell old car battery, then grabbed a tire that looked far beyond saving and rolled it out of the bed as well. She grabbed the top of the tire with her left hand, hearing the crunch of the radial belts in the tire under the pressure of her hand, picked up the battery with her right hand, and walked back to camp, giving Val and Tim a playful grin on the way.

Valentin noted Kaylie’s presence at the truck but didn’t do much with that info, being too concentrated on his current self-set goal. Eventually, Kaylie passes Val as oncoming traffic with him making room, but not otherwise reacting to her grin. Tim, however, seemed to be somewhat excited at the technically-requested-but-still-mischievous act of ridding either car of some weight.

Once Valentin was at the car, he dug around the roof rack, looking for the parts that came off the Dione’s engine when it was converted to steam. Shortly thereafter, he was joined by Tim doing the same, though largely independent of each other. Valentin got a hold of both manifolds, the carb and some loose waiting hanging off of said carb while Tim ended up with most of the ignition system and the remaining exhaust.

Meanwhile, Constantin went over to the Bricksley, approaching Malavera, Jayde and Mrdja at the offending truck.
“You are aware that it’s already been dark for FOUR HOURS? People are trying to sleep here! You or whatever colleague of yours managed to get at least ten people awake with that absolutely retarded dick-move of yours…”, Constantin started, keeping going for a good five minutes or so, shouting like a cliché US Army Drill Instructor that just spotted a recruit making wearing his shirt inside out.

Kaylie grinned savagely as she returned to the camp, plopping the dead battery and the destroyed truck tire both into the truck bed. “There you go!” she said cheerfully. “It’ll be good to not have to carry both of those around with us tomorrow.”

Jayde smirked, heading back toward the tents after making sure Malavera wasn’t likely to do anything else to the offending team. Malavera limped after Jayde, managing to trip him on the way back to his tent. “Now we’re even,” Malavera quipped as Jayde got up with a groan.

With the chaos over, Kaylie, Malavera, and Jayde returned to bed. Kivenaal’s only response was to pull up a chair to take on another night of watch duty, though decided while Mrdja was looking his way, to hold up four middle fingers in response for the noise.

Constantin was already back to his lean-on “tent” by the time the other two arrived at the Junkyard business truck.
Both of them simply dropped the respective parts in front of Mrdja, revealing a now somewhat greasy pair of arms an chest for Val and discolored hands for Tim due to some rust flaking off and onto him.
“There. You wanted junk, you have junk. Not our problem anymore.”, Valentin grumbled as he tried to clean himself off a a bit, instead spreading the stains out. “:sweden: Really? Need a shower…”, he mumbled as he turned around to head back to his tent. Tim simply chucked his load of components onto the pile created by Valentin, not saying anything and immediately heading back as well.

They climbed back into their tents, one after the other in case of Tim and Valentin and tried their hardest to get back to sleep. An easy feat for Tim and especially Constantin, but a treacherous task for Valentin, being awake for a good two additional hours before finally dozing off.


@MrdjaNikolen pinging you to notify you that your truck and it’s surroundings have some more junk to deal with.

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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

Earlier parts

PART 0.1 - A prologue to the prologue
PART 0.2 - Another piece of the prologue puzzle
PART 0.3 - Viva la IP 4Z!
PART 0.4 - Robotman
PART 0.5 - Interference problems
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
PART 0.7 - Tangerine and familiar
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious!
PART 1.1 - Hello, Thibault and friends!
PART 1.2 - Poor kitty
PART 1.3 - Curse you, Team Oil Crisis!
PART 1.4 - Interlude
PART 2.0 - Bird bird bird, bird is the word!
PART 2.1 - D. Head
PART 2.2 - Good night!
PART 3.0 - Freeway Rockstar
PART 3.1 - DISCO TJO DISCO HEJ
PART 3.2 - Van-Werewolf 1-0
PART 4.0 - Calm after the storm
PART 5.0 - Mirror mirror on the…oh, crap!
PART 5.1 - Hello, little puppies!
PART 6.0 - Speed
PART 6.1 - GIMME OXYGEN! (feat. Madrias)
PART 6.2 - Steamin’ hot! (feat. Elizipeazie)
PART 7.0 - The Kayak
PART 7.1 - Marie the valkyrie?
PART 7.2 - Vegetables
PART 7.3 - Time to tie things up.
PART 8.0 - The hangover
PART 8.1 - The new team member
PART 9.0 - From pink to brown
PART 9.1 - Co-op with Madrias and Elizipeazie
PART 9.2 - Where is Sonic?
PART 10.0 - First at last!
PART 10.1 - Co-op with Variationofvariables
PART 11.0 - Why is this van so damn fast?
PART 11.1 - Co-op with Madrias
PART 11.2 - Demons and dragons bullshit
PART 11.3 - Oops, thank you, Kaylie!
PART 12.0 - Snap, crackle and pop!
PART 12.1 - The fire breathing jalopy
PART 12.2 - Written by Madrias
PART 12.3 - Bumpin’ the bumper
PART 13.0 - A jawdroppin’ ride
PART 13.1 - The monsters under the bed were real, after all!
PART 14.0 - Interlude II
PART 15.0 - Marie died once
PART 16.0 - The horrible sound

PART 17.0 - General Pink

After calming down Marie and restoring the remains of the teleporter device, the team went peacefully to sleep, well, after Marie had complained about the lack of beer about a gazillion times, there is. And once again, the team took away in the morning for yet another stint in the SR 2022 challenge.

The soundtrack should prove itself to be true sooner than the team even expected. This was a dark stage, and Andreas was driving with the LED lightbars lit up, but when he was approaching Team Black rabbit, he had to dip down to low beams to not blind them in the mirror. Soon, he was also passing the Dauer.

“They think that is some kind of rally car, but they only have 2wd, we have four, this is closer to a WRC car”, Andreas chuckled, until he saw something…the flashing hazard blinkers on the Kontir, and a mess of stuff and debris on the road.

“What kind of troubles do they h…”, he said, followed by a “HOLY SHIT, IS THAT THEIR SPARE WHEEL?”.

Without being able to take his foot off the pedal in time, the pink brick jumped over the spare wheel from the Kontir while driving blazingly fast. It did a high jump through the woods that would have made the Dukes themselves jealous, and to make things even better, or worse, Sonic landed on the button to the dixie horn, making everything look a lot like a scene from Dukes of Hazzard, though with the orange Charger replaced by something more…pink, and…boxy.

The van landed in a cloud of dust.

“They are going to pay for this”, Andreas said.
“Relax, we landed on all four”, Janne said. “And on the road. Just keep driving.”

Soon, however, they realized that the van had not taken the abuse lightly, rather, it was bouncing around like a drunken frog on the road.

“My boobs are slapping my chin”, Marie complained.

“GREAT! Now the shocks are all shot! Am I supposed to drive like this for the rest of the race?”, Andreas mumbled. “Fucking spare wheel terrorists!”

“Actually, they are a surprisingly close fit from a Volvo PV544”, Janne said. “Both the bushings and the length are the sam…”

“YEAH AND WHO THE FUCK HAS A PV BEHIND THEIR BARN HERE IN SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW OR WHAT THE FUCK THIS FUCKING HARRY POTTER COUNTRY IS CALLED”, Andreas yelled. “Those idiots are going to eat their damn spare wheel for breakfast tomorrow!”

After having a really bouncy ride into camp, the team got out of the van, about as green in their faces as the van was pink.

“How the fuck are we supposed to fix this?”, Andreas yelled.

“There is always a way”, Janne said.

“Yeah! Right? By magic or what? You are only getting more and more weird for every day! Now let me cast a spell on them!”, he continued yelling. He took a stick from the ground and was swinging it towards the van. “SAABDOMKRAFT, SEXPUNKTSBÄLTE, JAG VILL BLI EN TOFFELHJÄLTE!”, he shouted so the whole camp could hear it. Then he jumped on the new, fashionable wooden front bumper, jumping up and down.

“Look, I fixed the shocks with your goddamned Demons and dragons bullshit”, Andreas said while the van was bumping up and down like crazy.

“I will figure out a way”, Janne said.

Later, he raided the back of the van for some stuff. He took some panties he found there, and waved around with them. “Marie, I am going to take those.”

“HEY! IT IS THE LAST CLEAN ONES I HAVE!”, she yelled.

“YEAH BUT NOT LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO CHANGE THEM IN TWO WEEKS ANYWAY, YOU FAT WRECK!” he yelled back. In some weird way, he restuffed the shocks with grease and those old pieces of cloth, and in some even weirder way, it somehow worked after he had wrapped the shocks with lots and…eh, lots…of duct tape.

“You can’t drive like if you’re Ari Vatanen now”, Janne told Andreas, “but we will be able to finish the rally anyway”, he said, as the night was coming closer.

Though, a while later in the tent, the now VERY tired team was hearing the Kontir rolling in, making a tremendous amount of noise. The team went out of the tent and saw RK Series racing and Shift happens having some argument with Team Mravolinski-chitco. When they had left, Andreas went into the back of the van, stacked ALL of the remaining rolls of duct tape, spare for one, on each other, and carried them to Mrdja.

“HERE IS A GIFT FROM US SO YOU CAN TAPE YOUR PIECE OF SHIT CAMPER TOGETHER!”, Andreas was yelling at him while giving him the duct tape stack. “Now, another question, CAN YOU PLEASE KEEP TRACK OF YOUR GODDAMNED SPARE WHEEL IN THE FUTURE?”, he said, kicking one of the tyres of the Kontir very hard, before walking back to the tent.

“Goddamned idiots ruining my day”, he mumbled.

“Oh, you are so cute when you are angry”, Janne laughed at him, which he didn’t seem to appreciate at all.

TO BE CONTINUED

@MrdjaNikolen @Tzuyu_main

4 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Aftermath of junk-collecting

Dealing with other teams

This had quickly proven out to not be as great idea as it seemed at first.
Ofc it was expected that ppl wouldnt be pleased about such disturbance, but level of displeasure was very much higher than expected.

Most terrifying reaction was ofc belonging to Malavera, to surprize of noone who may have been introduced to reaction of Shit Happens and RK Series Racing
Sight of rather big and strong fella running towards you is definitely shit-inducing: happily damage was introduced to truck and not to member of group. Seeing the dent and how much truck got pushed by this force, it was clear that it was quite strong kick, able to level down most of our team.

Oh, not to mention VerBanka was still in cab and was visibly disturbed and scared bcos of force applied.

Other individual worth mentioning was applying anger in manner that was atleast rather familiar to Mrdja.
Mrdja’s dad is rather composed individual, not allowing his anger to consume him. Most he might do these days is…exactly what Constantin did, actually.

There was ofc small moment in between that was rather funny: predictably Jayde tripping Malavera.
Two-headed guy wasnt amused, but he did proven to be rather good at throwing stuff in exact places.

We already mentioned Jayde and now that he is observed shirtless, its even more clear he went through lot of stuff.
What isnt clear and likely will never be is:
“Why he would carry so much gravel in his bag, mixed with broken glass and other impurities?”
This isnt to be answered, but it was clear bag likely contained much much more, even tho didnt seem even now-contents of bed would realistically fit in bag.

Others took this desire for thrash literally.
Well, apart from Andreas, but we will get to that in timely manner.
Tire was added to collection for very obvious reasons, while battery was requiring some check-up to confirm its dead (it is)
Kaylie’s cheerful nature was in stark contrast to everyone before and after her.

Valentin was (un)surprizingly awake, all things considered, but neither were in good mood for reason.
That was especially evident on tall guy, while American chose to express his dissapproval through facial expressions.
Their trash was rather puzzling at first, except for fact that Tim likely brought exhaust and Val prob got some carbs.

Now onto small surprize.
For reasons, it was assumed that Hillbilly Rollers might also be angry at this rude wake-up call.
Andreas was however disspleased for another reason…and carrying something that in no way would be junk.

His displeasure became no surprize when he decided to speak, tho.

Mrdja got busy putting stuff in bed and was waiting for stronger half of team to return back.

Lights out, but why arent you sleeping?

One of Madrias’s characters will be participating in one part of this- feel free to guess who. He gave go ahead.
With OOC stuff out of way…

As for our stronger trio, it becomes fairly clear that fatigue started showing in living-being part of equation.
Klimentol was hit the hardest, swaying fair bit now bcos unlike Aydar, he truly can be described as normal dog (well, as normal as he could be all things considered).
Aydar was faring up noticeably better, and robot Chicota didnt really had need to rest

“You will drive next day.”
“Ok.”
“I desperately need a bed.”
“Why not grab some coffee on the way? All three of us are pretty busy when it comes to carrying supplies.”
“Literally everyone normal is going to be asleep.”

This was hard push, but they made it.
They werent all too happy with damage to truck, but were amused at fact some ppl did took their plan literally
Mrdja explained what happened while they were out of camp.
Then almost everyone went to sleep, however they can.

It was on Chicota to potentially make adjustments for next day and also drive during that stage.
Adjustments being using what they bought+duct tape to somewhat fasten the cargo
He inspected batch of Jayde’s trash and removed dangerous stuff from it: gravel was left alone, but broken glass, pieces of metal and other stuff that can potentially hurt the rest had found themselves in generously provided garbage can.


Chicota had noticed something and decided to investigate.

“Why arent you sleeping?” was question directed at four-armed individual before him.

“Why would you ask? You have some other genius plan to awake entire camp?
Bcos if you do…im having none of it.”

“That was Mrdja’s idea, i just helped in realization.” Chicota honestly responded.

(Kivenaal holds up all middle fingers, already recognising that Chicota was one contributor)“My honest response to that information.
And no, i honestly couldnt bring myself back to sleep after your escapade, so i decided to watch the camp.”

“Fair enough. Oh btw…only me and Mrdja were being involved in plan.”

“Good to know. Dont let it happen again, otherwise my response is going to be more than gesture.
Cant guarantee for rest, but they arent going to be amused either.”

“Will keep that in mind next time.”
With that, Chicota returned to Kontir, leaving Kivenaal to do his thing.

3 Likes

Spy Kids: Before Stage 16


Who would’ve thought that rallying a bunch of clapped out cars across an alien continent could be so interesting? Who would’ve thought that alien wolves would attack an entire convoy of vehicles in the middle of the night? Who would’ve thought that a nondescript orange sedan could be turned into a steam train? Well, the Spy Kids pondered all that and more as they prepared to start the 16th and penultimate stage of their tour. No one knew who was winning; the stages were so long, and the organisers so busy with technological shenanigans, that no one kept a running total. The crew in the Yamada SUV was one of the faster teams before their car went haywire and forced them to pull out. The team figured they’d done pretty well so far as they’d just come off their second stage victory, but then there was also the time they’d been forced to shoot a Dyre (the alien wolf) and send holes through their radiator as collateral, and the time they missed their turn onto a bridge forcing them through an exceptionally muddy track. Lazar really didn’t like that last one, as he’d also dropped a jerry can onto his foot on that stage.

“I have not felt such pain since the time an illegal coal mine collapsed on me.” Lazar claimed.
“How can a coal mine be illegal?” Jessica asked.
“No permits, no safety measures, just scaffolding and dirt tunnels. A piece of scaffolding broke my hip when the mine went down. I had to dig myself out with a shovel.”

The team continued telling stories and figuring out who were the rally leaders, the thrum of a muffled diesel generator and the more pleasant sounds of music from Shay’s sound system playing in the background. As they finished breakfast, they concluded that figuring out who was winning was impossible, and thus started packing the car for the upcoming stage.

1 Like

Shitbox Rally

Stage 17: Temmingarda to Tapari

Stage Start: 1 Sun, 35/7/3251, Temmingarda Campsite

Weather at Stage Start: Hot (34C), a cloudless, almost-dry, windless day means the sun is searing hot.
Weather at mid-stage: Hot (40C), still no clouds in sight, no humidity, and still no wind.
Weather at Stage End (First Car): Hot (40C), light wispy clouds that offer no respite from the sun, still dry, and barely any wind.
Weather at Stage End (Last Car): Hot (32C), clouds appear on the horizon at sunset, mild humidity, the ocean breeze returns with a vengeance.

Stage End (First Car): 5-and-16 Sun, 35/7/3251, Tapari Campsite / City Center

Stage End (Last Car): 10-and-17 Sun, 35/7/3251, Tapari Campsite / City Center

The day starts out with stifling, searing dry heat from the beginning, turning the campsite into an oven within minutes of the sunrise. For those who still have air conditioning that works, the first order of the day is to make sure the cars have a chance to cool down. Then it’s a long journey on a decent gravel road leaving Temmingarda, returning to the Temmingarda Forest. It doesn’t take long, however, for the road to leave the forest once more, opening up to a brilliant hillside view of the ocean. The road alternates between hard packed gravel that nearly resembles a modern road and loose gravel more resembling a rally stage, clear signs that while there is maintenance done on this road, it’s clearly more of a “make sure no one finds a sink-hole and flips their carriage” situation and less of an “improve the road for comfort” situation. The slow, gradual downhill on a gently winding road would be quite fun if the road were properly paved, or if someone had brought a rally car. After a long, long drive out in the open, however, the walls of the City of Tapari come into view, and the road leads right through the gate. The city guards open the way and we’re allowed to park up in the city for the night.

The city’s architecture ends up being a little unusual, with some buildings nearer to the entrance being made with stone, but transitioning toward wood the closer they get to the water. For those inclined on swimming, the ocean is right there, waiting for you. In the distance, a few steam ships make their way to places unknown, some people are out in fishing boats, a few brave souls are trying their luck with primitive surfboards, and an older Valraadi sails on by in a rowboat being towed by what certainly looks like an oversize parachute, moving surprisingly quickly. Signs placed at the beach warn people to watch their step, and it’s fairly obvious why when the first couple of crabs wander around in the sand, looking remarkably like the few large, flat rocks on the beach.


Notes: Randomization is active. Breakdowns are active. Time is in Earth Time.



@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:20:04
Average MPH: 48.4
Randomizer: 11.87 (Calculated)
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 4 (Towed by RK)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Another quiet day on the rails, which was needed after the chaos in the camp last night.


@Caligari

Team Wayfarers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 12:18:24
Average MPH: 28.8
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Things seemed okay until there was a very loud popping sound and a heavy clunk, followed by something violently lifting the rear of the truck up and slamming it back down again. The bad news: Your driveshaft’s universal joint snapped and you pole-vaulted the truck. The good news: With the transfer case in 4x4 mode, you’re still FWD, and were able to limp Chernobog into camp.


@Executive

Team Gearknobs

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 06:42:17
Average MPH: 52.9
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

One of the few teams who could really appreciate the winding, twisting roads, it’s decided that this time, the AWD, JDM-spec Hakaru Carica is going to be driven like a rally car. The 4 cylinder engine howls like a banshee as the car is piloted out of the forest, getting air over a couple of small crests that otherwise wouldn’t have bothered anyone, followed by carving the corners on the winding twisty section leading toward Tapari. Somehow, today the car smells very strongly of peaches, likely thanks to yet another air freshener stuffed into the ash-tray.


@BannedbyAndroid

Team Fallen Angels of the Past

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:05:53
Average MPH: 43.8
Randomizer: 12
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Gravel seems to be the favored surface for the mysterious time traveling girls, because yet again, they managed to outright floor it on this stage. Other than a couple of times where they lifted instead of keeping the pedal planted, the Claussient was pushed to the limit all the way into the city.


@TheYugo45GV

Team Oil Crisis

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 12:04:04
Average MPH: 29.4
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Oops, it’s done it again! There goes another two head gaskets on the troublesome Narrowblock. Another hasty field repair gets them into camp, just… Not quickly.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 06:14:17
Average MPH: 56.0
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Knowing it’s the last stage that mattered, Andreas puts his foot down. Between Janne’s beer-can bearings and Rukari’s protective runes on the engine block, the IP 4Z engine holds together despite the abuse, and the autobox, despite changing gears like a gremlin bashed them into place with a sledgehammer, keeps the vehicle going in a vaguely forward direction.


@Fayeding_Spray

Team Witchlight

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 11:46:33
Average MPH: 30.1
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 3 (Tires)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

So, it turns out that one of the tires the EAAC Aphrodite happened to have on it was something called a “retread.” This was discovered after the driver’s front tire disintegrated, tossing what Finne described as being “a black alligator” up past the rear window while causing Elist to fight to control their car. No amount of magic could save this one, so the tiny little space-saver spare was put on instead. This, in turn, sparked a big conversation about why someone would call a tire a “doughnut” when clearly it wasn’t edible, didn’t really resemble a pastry product at all, and (alternatively) wondering what it would be like if tires were actually made out of pastry products instead of rubber.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 11:16:00
Average MPH: 31.5
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Similar to the situation that caused a bunch of chaos to a certain other group of truck-driving-oddballs, the Kontir gets a bit sideways in some loose gravel coming out of the forest and slams the side of the bed into a tree, sending the truck into a spin and flinging the bed contents all over the place again. Luckily, no one was hurt in the crash, and just as luckily, the team has had plenty of practice at picking up cargo and returning it to the truck.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passiones

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 13:39:29
Average MPH: 26.0
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 4
Breakdown: 1 (Powertrain)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

It was all going well until the loud and very thirsty V6 gave a resolute and nasty sounding clunk and locked up solid. After waiting for several hours for the engine to cool down “just enough,” Chad dropped the oil pan and removed the “adjustable” connecting rod and piston from cylinder number 5. Now equipped with an awfully-unsteady asymmetric “V5” engine, the Aerodynamic Wedge Shaped Beast rattles into camp, now truly sounding like shit. The first order of business? Welding the bent rod and stuck piston to the hood like a unicorn horn trophy.


@AndiD

Team Quick Rally 47

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:52:47
Average MPH: 35.9
Randomizer: 7
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 4 (Team Caused)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

“No interference, no records.” Arthur and Ford kept that in mind as they started this stage. Somehow, they were going to have to slow down on this stage, too, but without using the oil pressure trick. The AI helpfully pointed out a number of things they could acquire from their surroundings that might prove to be beneficial, and possibly a little time consuming to gather. So, with that newfound plan, they gathered and bagged a cutting of a mercy bush, as it’d been seen in a previous stage to have interesting effects on various populations, took a picture of an old Dyre seen sniffing the air in the forest, collected a cricket that was the size of a chicken’s egg when it jumped onto the windshield, and identified no less than seven different species of non-venomous snakes hanging out in the trees. With their secondary mission now more complete than before, they took a leisurely drive toward their destination.


@BG004130

Team Mrezhari

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 06:34:51
Average MPH: 53.9
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 0
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

You’re not entirely sure what exactly the people in the Mara were doing with a camera out, but as you blew on by, you did manage to pelt the Mara Kanyon with a shower of gravel. The energy drinks had run out a stage ago, so with everyone desperate to get home before the caffeine headaches started to get serious, the Dunav was driven extra hard today.


@NoahC

Team Jockey

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 10:18:59
Average MPH: 34.4
Randomizer: 9
Refueling Stops: 2
Breakdown: 3 (Tires)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Things would have gone better if a certain gigantic truck hadn’t wiped out in front of you, covering the road in debris and cargo. Driving through the mess ended up being a mistake, causing a blown steering tire.


@elizipeazie

Team RK Series Racing

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 07:19:51
Average MPH: 48.4
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0 (Towing Bricksley)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

With the Bricksley still on the tracks from the previous stage, and still coupled up, it was just a matter of getting everyone into position and taking another long train ride toward the finish. Arriving in the freight yard in Tapari, the two car consist was shuffled over to a decent siding that someone had clearly prepared in anticipation of Robert reaching the “end of the line,” as wooden planks had been set out to make a rather nice unloading ramp. With Robert now free of the rails, and Shift Happens hard at work swapping wheels on the Bricksley back to their road tires, it was just a matter of steaming their way into camp.


@Tzuyu_main

Team Black Rabbit

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 08:35:55
Average MPH: 41.3
Randomizer: 13
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 0
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

Six screaming cylinders, RWD, a gravel road, and a car that feels like a rally machine. Perfect recipe for a perfect storm. The weather report is… Sunny with a high chance of raining gravel and thunder bellowing from the exhaust pipes.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Distance Traveled: 355.2
Time (HH:MM:SS): 09:25:10
Average MPH: 37.7
Randomizer: 8
Refueling Stops: 1
Breakdown: 2 (Chassis)
Total Distance Traveled: 5683.2

It’s never a good feeling when something breaks. Especially when that something turns out to be the exhaust pipe getting a hole in it. After putting up with the ear-shattering roar for a half hour, the decision was made to just slow down enough to not deafen everyone in the SUV.



Stage Finishing Order:

06:14:17 – 5-and-16 Sun – Team Hillbilly Rollers
06:34:51 – 5-and-35 Sun – Team Mrezhari
06:42:17 – 5-and-42 Sun – Team Gearknobs
07:19:51 – 5-and-76 Sun – Team RK Series Racing
07:20:04 – 5-and-76 Sun – Team Shift Happens
08:05:53 – 6-and-37 Sun – Team Fallen Angels of the Past
08:35:55 – 6-and-64 Sun – Team Black Rabbit
09:25:10 – 7-and-28 Sun – Team Spy Kids
09:52:47 – 7-and-53 Sun – Team Quick Rally 47
10:18:59 – 7-and-77 Sun – Team Jockey
11:16:00 – 8-and-48 Sun – Team Mravolinski-Chitco
11:46:33 – 8-and-76 Sun – Team Witchlight
12:04:04 – 9-and-12 Sun – Team Oil Crisis
12:18:24 – 9-and-24 Sun – Team Wayfarers
13:39:29 – 10-and-17 Sun – Team Machinas Con Passiones



Yes, this is the last stage. However, there’s still the Return to Nevada through the Rift (we’ll be a convoy again) and the closing ceremony to come.



Team Shift Happens

Previous Chapters:

Kayden Murders a Clutch - Stage 12 Drive and Camp
Redemption, Realizations, and Repairs - Stage 13 Drive and Camp
Curious Dyre - Stage 13 Camp Final
The Bed is Wrecked - Stage 14 Camp & Drive
Helping a Friend (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 14) - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Stage 15 Details
Breakdowns, Steam, and Late Night Repairs (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 15) - Part 1, Part 2
Stage 16 Details
Finishing the Repairs / Riding the Steel Highway (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 16 Drive) - Part 1, Part 2
Taking Out The Trash (Collab with Elizipeazie, Stage 16 Camp)


10:40 Moon, Temmingarda Campsite


It was an early start for everyone involved, having to pack up their camp supplies and walk them all the way back to where the vehicles were parked. While the Dione was steaming up, Shift Happens made sure their cargo was secured properly, before adopting the same seating positions as the day before. Kaylie kept her foot pinned to the floor so that Connor’s cut-off override would work, while Valentin took a position up in the front passenger bench of the Bricksley for visibility.


1 Sun, On the Rails

The town’s bell rang loudly, letting everyone know it was officially daytime. The Dione pushed forward, shoving the Bricksley out of the rail yard and down the main line again. Much like the last time, Val and Connor did 90% of the hard work, while Malavera sat behind the Bricksley’s wheel, occasionally using the truck’s brakes to aid in slowing down.

Again, the team was just glad that there were no more hard bumps to deal with. Smooth steel rails meant that within the first hour, Kivenaal had drifted into a state of sleep, his head resting on Jayde’s shoulder as the two vehicles breezed along the rails.

As they reached Tapari, it became obvious that some of the railway personnel had set up a spot for Valentin to convert from rail mode to road mode, with wooden planks laid out over an old siding being their departure point. First, the Dione was uncoupled and brought off of the rails, while the more difficult process of derailing the Bricksley was completed by Kaylie, Jayde, Kayden, and Malavera. With the rail wheels swapped out for their tires, and the cold steel wheels piled into the bed, the Bricksley was hitched up to the back of the Dione and hauled into Tapari.


5-and-76 Sun, Tapari City Center


Relief.

Despite the blown engine, despite 5,700 grueling miles of driving, 17 of the hardest days spent on the move, being here was pure relief for the Shift Happens crew.

By morning tomorrow, everyone would be heading home to Earth, to Nevada, and after the celebrations, to their actual homes.

Tonight, however, was a moment of mild celebration. They’d done it. 17 teams had started. 15 teams made it to the finish line. 14 cars still ran under their own power. One had a hell of a lot of new hardware onboard to make it run.

The beach was calling to them. Waves crashing onto the shore made a siren’s song to those who had been far too beaten by late night repairs, team shenanigans, the troubles of their own past.

Kaylie and Jayde sat out there, not swimming with the others of the team, but watching the chaos as Kivenaal and Malavera, stripped down to swim trunks, tried to dunk one another into the salty water. Rukari had found an old surfboard, a bit of sailcloth, and some tough braided ropes, and had started a bit of a trend with his crude parachute and surfboard antics among the locals. Kayden was just trying to beat the heat by getting soaking wet.

“Watch it!” Kayden yelled shortly after Malavera got the better of Kivenaal, violently dunking the four-armed Valraadi right as Kayden swam by, splashing him in the face.

“Looks like they’re all having fun,” Kaylie said. “I’d say I’m going to miss this place, but…”

Jayde chuckled. “Crugandr is always a bit of a nightmare. I won’t miss that part of it, but I am going to miss the views here.”

“Wait, you’re coming with us?” Kaylie asked.

“It’s another great adventure,” Jayde admitted. “I’ve been here too long. The call to adventure is in my blood, and if I didn’t go with all of you, I’d probably just end up on a ship heading somewhere I haven’t been yet.”

“Like?” Kaylie inquired.

“Well… I’ve never been to Nehmenweld. I’ve heard it’s a very large place, similar to Crugandr in language and some culture, but… Very different at the same time,” Jayde said.

“Maybe someday, we’ll go there,” Kaylie said.

3 Likes

So… since this is the last stage, are we going to get the winner revealed soon? Just asking, no stress. :blush:

The finishing times will need to be calculated, but otherwise they should be in soon