The 2023 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers - (END OF RACE!)

[Danicoptero]

#12 Team Let’s Get This Bread

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The Car

A third gen Tarquini Freccia, one of the vans ever. Made in 1993, it came stock with a 1.3L I4 making a nice 69hp. The engine has been upgraded to make 83hp, and some weight has been taken out.

For almost 15 years, this van was used as a work vehicle for a bakery. However, it has seen very little use in the last 5 years, and it even had the catalytic converter and the mufflers stolen at some point during this time.

It isn’t fast or nice to drive, but at least it’s cheap and has proven to be reliable over the years.

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The Team

Antonio Hernández “El Abuelo” (65 y.o.):
A small but strong man. For most of his life, Antonio worked as a baker, but now that he has retired he wants to try things he never had the time for before. Dusting off his old work van, he’s taking the family to Sweden to enjoy some shitbox racing.

Juán Hernández “El Padre” (42 y.o.):
Antonio’s son and the current owner of the bakery. Juán grew up watching Carlos Sainz and Fernando Alonso, and dreamt of being a race driver and owning a Celica GT-Four. He never got his Celica, but thanks to his father, he now has the chance to acomplish one of his dreams, even if it’s on a shitty old van.

Elena Hernández “La Hija” (18 y.o.):
Antonio’s granddaughter. She’s a mechanical engineering student and the one that pitched the idea of taking part in this race to her granpa. Elena is part of her university’s Formula Student team, so she has some experience working with race cars. She also learned how to drive on the old Freccia, but she never really pushed it, so she’s not sure of how the shitbox will behave during the race.

[SheikhMansour]

THE SPY KIDS

It’s the Trafikjournalen 24 hour race, take two!

The Drivers

Jessica Lombaerts

Age: 19

Appearance: 170cm tall, dirty blonde/brunette hair, dresses exclusively for the beach, skate park, or nightclub.

Description: Half-Dutch, half mad. Her main job is to drive fast, and her car collection reflects that. Her other job is to smoke enough weed to asphyxiate an entire country, and as a result half of the colour and texture in her hair is actually hashish. Is also a hip hop dancer.

Vehicles: BMW M3 (E92), Suzuki Hayabusa, Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio, Pagani Zonda F Clubsport

Shay Hirvonen

Age: 18

Appearance: 160cm, blonde hair, wears cottage-core outfits, winter sweaters, or androgynous clothes.

Description: Soft and cuddly on the outside, sharp and devious on the inside. Is better with her hands than anyone else on the team, and probably anyone else this side of the Olympics. When she’s not in soft-core mode, she will step on you, and you will like it. Can also shoot better than Alexis despite not being a committed militant.

Cars: Jaguar E-Type, Mercedes-Maybach S650 (with upgrades), VW Kombi (with upgrades), Bugatti Chiron

Lazar Kandyba

Age: 25

Appearance: 167cm, black hair, black beard, 80% normal clothes, 20% Soviet wear and Slav Squat tracksuits.

Description: Ukrainian, Khrushchevist, anti Stalin, anti modern Russia. Much vodka consumption, almost as much sunflower seed consumption. Switched from tobacco to cannabis to alleviate lung problems actually caused by living in Donetsk. Can haggle his way out of a Rolls-Royce dealership. Knows Krav Maga, Muay Thai, and AK47.

Cars (all upgraded): Lada Niva, Nissan Stagea, Mitsubishi Evo VIII, Volvo 850

Petra Kennedy

Age: 17

Appearance: 155cm, blonde, half cottagecore, half band shirts

Description: You think Jessica’s mad? Petra is the closest thing you will find to a mad scientist this side of an interdimensional portal. She is a pyromaniac, complete with a collection of explosives and various other flammable items, and once blew up several rooms of her school. As such, she is on several lists. She also has an entire room dedicated to Minecraft merchandise, and can shoot a target as well as Shay, which serves her well when she does her, ahem, pest control job.

Car: VW ID3 Pro S

Shay’s Teenage Pit Crew

Lauren Darabay

Age: 19

Appearance: 163cm, dark brown hair, dresses like an architect

Description: The bad cop to Shay’s good cop, she has no softcore mode and will just step on you. Resident piano player and yerba mate addict. (No, that one doesn’t have cocaine.) Is banned from eleven countries for political reasons, and will also not set foot in Northern Arkansas.

Megumi Tetsuya

Age: 17

Appearance: 155cm, Japanese-Canadian, sometimes looks like a painter, sometimes like a fashionista, always like she should be in Paris.

Description: What you see is largely what you get. Basically the one normal person in Spy Kids garage. Would’ve used the car as an art canvas, but the panels were too rusty to repaint the car.*

Lazar’s Muscle

Giorgi Ingorokva

Age: 23

Appearance: 191cm, green hair, boiler suits or designer fashion

Description: Amateur rugby player, professional flaming homosexual, wannabe rockstar. Runs a garage in Liverpool and a clothing store next door, though his residence is of uncertain legality. Played three matches for London Scottish.

The car

It’s another Rosewood! This time, however, it’s a Vicugna instead of a Bovinus. It has a viscous all wheel drive system (that doesn’t work), viscous differentials (that don’t work), severe underbody rust, and a fuel injection system that metres fuel by horoscope instead of a fuel map. Lazar’s also bolted a skidplate to the bottom because the cladding fell off. The 4.3L flat six theoretically produces 201 bhp, but that’s probably closer to 150 now. Still, the Bovinus was heavier and had a solid rear axle so this should at least be easier to drive.

[Knugcab]

Closed for new submissions, will check out if I need complementing stuff for the ones I got in a while.

[AndiD]

Team Oxracers II: The Return - Ep. 3: Rolling in - in style

Previous post

The Oxracers have arrived at the track on time and unloaded their luggage. Mary and Jane then take the car to the local supermarket (for people and cat supplies), the auto shop and hardware store (for car and repair supplies) and the printing shop (for sticker supplies).

After their return, Jane and Michael set out to gut the Kando’s interior and install a rudimentary comms system, while Mary carefully places the printed stickers on the car.

They both finish at about the same time and step back, proudly beaming at their achievement. Corazon and Lucas join in to comment on their work.

Reflections on the livery

“Why do we still have different numbers on each side? Again, 42 on the Outside Xbox side and 47 on the Outside Xtra side? Last year that useless print shop made an error, but this year?” wonders Michael.

Mary shrugs. “I found it to be a cool idea, and not that anyone here cared. Plus, it shows that we are two teams that run as one.”

“Great, Ancient Dragon Lansseax - he ruined my 2023 Christmas challenge”, mutters Lucas as he sees the new sticker for the hood. “And how nice of you to put the L next to me this time.” He makes a fake pout.

“Arrgghh, this looks good”, comments Corazon in his best pirate voice, seeing the pirate skull next to his name.

“So, are we ready to race?” asks Jane rhetorically.

“We have done it before, so we all know what to do”, mutters Michael.

“I don’t, sort of - I mean, I didn’t drive last year, but want to this year.” Mary proudly points that she put her name next to the others on the car as well. “How hard can it be?” she adds after a short while.

“That was a different show”, comments Michael. “But yeah, let’s see how things go. Good thing this sequel here has multi-class now, so you can be a COMPETITOR in addition to being the LINCHPIN.”

“Oh, no did they still keep this TTRPG crap in the sequel”, complains Corazon. “I just want my achievements, dammit. And the victory, of course.”

“It’s optional now, and imported from our save from last year, so we don’t need to roll on anything”, explains Jane.

“The GM will still do rolls, but we don’t have to”, adds Michael. “But we still get experience and can level up.”

On a whim, Corazon triggers his personalised level up visual and sound effects and earns disapproving looks from all the others.

“Well, time for me to go see what the other teams are doing?” Mary vanishes behind the Kando, places her hands over her head, spins around and emerges again as a white cat with black spots, ready to sneak around the track and inconspicuously spy on the other teams.

FOR EVERYONE: FEEL FREE TO INCLUDE MARY-AS-CAT IN YOUR PRE-RACE RP POSTS. If she only does cat stuff, no need to clear that with me.

[Restomod]

Can I take number 0?

[DaBoss4344]

Entrant Details:
Running under the name: The Smith Brothers
No. 43

The Drivers

• Jonas Smith (29M)
  
  Born and raised in Brooklyn with his 2 brothers. Jonas was always at avid racing fan at a young age, he vividly remembers growing up through the V10 and V8 eras of Formula 1. If it had wheels and raced, he loved it, no matter what. So when he was offered the opportunity to enter the 2023 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers, he jumped at the opportunity, wanting to feel the rush in his own car, instead of on the sidelines. However, when he realized that he didn’t exactly want to race his BMW M4 in the dirt of Höljes, and that it was completely illegal to race anyway. He enlisted the help of 2 of his brothers. Edward, and Roy, who were tasked with the role of finding the cheapest car possible. Whilst 2 of them weren’t the best drivers, he was hopeful on the fact that Edward and Roy could find a reliable car for that was legal to race.

• Edward Smith (26M)
  
  An avid car fan, Edward took trade at a mechanics shop soon after leaving school, he knows the ins and outs of a lot of cars and dreamed of building and racing his own kit car. However, he has to settle for cheap damaged car to race alongside his 2 brothers in the 2023 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers. Alongside Roy, they managed to find a car that was good value, however had a few minor issues with it, but with the little money they had to work with, they couldn’t repair much, except strip out the interior and re-do it, in the hopes of using this car as a rideshare or taxi service, with the added popularity of it being a “race winning car”. He is also the teams lead mechanic and engineer when not driving. (For obvious reasons)

• Roy Smith (23M)
  
  An arrogant young pro-am sim-racing driver, he always centered the world around himself, and when he left all the car searching work to Edward, he immediately started practicing endurance racing. What he failed to realize is that endurance racing might just be a team sport, and it is going to be impossible to win without the help of his brothers. Despite this small hurdle to overcome, there is no doubt he will try to push the car to its limit, all for the chance to win this race. And if you ask him, this was all his idea, the car, the name, everything.

The Car

Whilst searching countless scrapyards, Edward found something that peaked his interest. A rusty Ford Crown Vic NY Taxi sitting in the corner of the yard, and for a good price too. Despite its age Edward knew these things were built to last, being used in both taxis and police cars. But to his surprise, when he popped open the hood, he saw a (presumed) freshly swapped 1.3L i4 instead of the standard 4.6L V8.

Whilst still confused, he was able to use this, and many other faults with the car, to get it for a much cheaper price than normal. Complaining that the car would now be underpowered and “lost its charm and history.” to which the person running the yard responded, “Yeah whatever knock yourself out, have it for less.” Seems like he didn’t really need to go through all that effort. When he brought it back to the shop, he slapped a Trafikjournalen bumper sticker on it and put on some (definitely registered) plates, they had to be “Elite” according to Roy.

He blocked off the shattered headlight, and put a makeshift headlamp ontop. Passing the 2 headlight regulation.

With that, that car was ready to race.

The Car Specs (Text Block Warning)

The car boasts a 1.3L Overhead Cam cast iron engine, equipped with VVL and running 10.8:1 compression. Redlining at 6k RPM and VVL kicking in at 4.8K. Completely naturally aspirated and equipped with Single Point EFI this engine pulls a respectable 80.7hp and 78.8ft-lb of torque, with it topping out at roughly 200km/h. It runs smoothly without much issue (79.3 Reliability). The car runs a 4-speed automatic gearbox with RWD and an open diff. It runs P175/70R14 tyres both front and back. With rusted brake pads and calipers this car struggles for stopping power. (Fault 1, bad brakes) With both front vents boarded up with wood due to airflow issues. The engine is prone to overheating, not that it runs too hot to begin with. (Fault 2, No Cooling). The suspension in the car was tuned for comfort, as in a former life it was a taxi. However, years of travelling on damaged and bumpy NY roads have lead to them not supporting the cars weight, and sagging the car down to a low 232.2mm instead of the typical 256.3mm that was mentioned on the spec board inside the car. (Fault 3, bad suspension) The car also lacks power-steering, meaning the original hydraulic powered R&P steering is no longer. (Fault 4, no power-steering) The car also suffers from structural underbody rust. In testing, the car performed decently well, doing a decent lap on the track, a 1:08.48 (2:23.04 in Automation’s Cumulative time system)

[Fayeding_Spray]

Timeloss

Part Zero: Pre-Race and Prep.

Annotated Team Line-up for size comparisons and a visual

Zoya not pictured due to lacking accurate representation, but they are 6ft 8in, so 4in taller than Victoria.

“Just Remember, here we’re not as well known. Bets on, we’ll know one or two people. Tops.” Selena leans over the bench seat of the Kazrohn, Looking at Mirage, Victoria, Grayse, and Zoya seated on the empty floor of the Van. Selena places her hand on Ruuka’s shoulder - the one currently driving - as they pull off from the access road, into the pits of the Event.

The mishmash group finds a clear space, parking as they exit the Van. Zoya sticks their head in the driver side door, beginning to unscrew the front bench seat. Victoria and Grayse set up the Marquee before all but Zoya reconvene at the side of the Van.

Mirage pulls out a few pieces of paper, handing them to the others. “Right, we have a small bit of paper work, then we can get to probably mingling, see if we know anyone. We have an idea that one Giant’ll be here.” Grayse snatches the paper from Mirage as she leans on the Van. “So what, we have to denote who is and isn’t driving? Man, it’s on the fucking van.” The Catgirl gives a sigh, handing the paper over to Ruuka, “Like, I know it’s a thing to get rid of the Van, but did we really have to do this with all of us?” Victoria grabs Grayse by the waist, pulling her under her arm, “Only way Sel and Ruu could get time off work. Wynn wouldn’t give them clearance otherwise.” Grayse sighs and rolls her eyes.

<brief time later>

Victoria, Grayse, Selena and Zoya sit in and around the open side door of the Kazrohn, as Mirage and Ruuka walk through the opening of the Marquee. Ruuka sits down next to Selena, “Well, I’ve spotted at least one person I know by looks, with some people I swear I’ve seen in chats before. Don’t see anyone else I recognise, which is a bit a shame.” Selena cocks her head, “So no big cats and dogs?” “Not this time.” “Shame.”

<fin, open to colab>

[Knugcab]

OK, I have tried to gather your stuff now.

I have complete submissions from:
@WoodenPlankGames
@stm316
@Snarklz
@Madrias and @Elizipeazie
@HermannMatern
@Fayeding_Spray
@doot
@interior
@Sealboi
@Mythrin
@SCSI
@Texaslav
@SheikhMansour
@shibusu
@06DPA
@AndiD
@DaBoss4344
Some jerk called @Knugcab

I would like a description of the car’s condition from:
@SurrealCereal
@Maverick74
@Happyhungryhippo
@Djadania (for both your standard entry and the ChatGPT experiment, I will accept whatever shit ChatGPT comes up with but I might adjust it if it feels unrealistic, lol)

The condition can be sent to me via DM, it doesn’t have to be posted here.

I only have a car file, no presentations at all from
@Restomod

Please complete your entries as soon as possible, and if it’s me that has missed something, please correct me.

[WoodenPlankGames]

Transporttjäns (no, I’m not typing out that long ass name every time, I already regret it.)

Post 0: pre-race

The Erikssons aren’t the last to arrive, but they’re certainly not early either. The first to arrive is Elin, of course, with their entrant, the number 17, their trusty Caducus. Any observer will immediately guess as to how well prepared the team is - not at all. The van rides very high, courtesy of it’s factory suspension, and the hastily spray painted number 17 - uneven fade and all - which doesn’t even look like they bothered to use a stencil.

The rest of the party arrives shortly afterwards, piling out of Aatto’s Wagon. Aatto quickly runs over to Elin by the van, keen eyes spotting… Walkie talkies and duct tape.

“I’ve got duct tape to secure it, and some spare batteries for you!” Are the first words out of her mouth, followed quickly by a “Not even a hello?” from Elin.

The next to interrupt is Linnea - “It’s been 10 minutes since we left the office Elin, we only stopped to get the tape and the batteries. It’s not like you haven’t seen us in a month!” - and her change in tone is just as quick as her heel turn to speak to Aatto. “So, should I unload the spare parts from the van?” - “No, the weight will help settle the suspension. I’m sure the foam and blankets will be fine to make sure nothing breaks.”

The party pause for a moment, allowing Elin to affix the “radio” in the car, and for Sven to catch up - “What are you girls running for? As far as I can tell, we’re not even the last ones here, much less late to the show!”

The Family Banter continues, as a generally far too relaxed aura settles in their pit, Aatto slowly unloading tools from her car while the rest stand around chatting, much to her annoyance. However, whether anything else important will happen before race start is down to what the other teams want to do.

<Author’s note: I’m glad to have a nice chat with anyone interested - DM me here or on discord by the same name~>

[DaBoss4344]

Previous Posts:

Entrant Form

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Part 0: The Drive

The brothers have just left the port after towing the car to be shipped to Europe, they are now heading to the airport

Roy: Hey, so I’ve been thinking about our driver lineup, and lets be honest, I’m the only one here who actually knows anything about racing. So the idea I have is,

He pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, its a timesheet with 1 hour increments, he reads off all the hours…

Jonas: So your telling me, that you want to race 16 of the 24 hours!?

Edward: You do realise how dumb that sounds out loud right?

Roy: Well no, I’ve been training on my sim, I can run 5 hour races without breaking a sweat. So 16 with some breaks will be a piece of cake.

Jonas sighs No, a sim and a real race are completely different beasts, I know you have a direct drive wheel or whatever they are called and all that fancy gear, but fatigue sets in quicker when the car is pulling you along with it on the track, you may not pull much but you still can experience some G-forces.

Roy: Oh look at you and l your fancy terminililiogy, or however you say it. I am literally the only one here with racing experience… Edward interjects: Ehem, Sim-racing experience, Roy: Shut up… Anyway, as I was saying, as the only one with racing experience in this car, He shoots a dirty look at Edward I am the only one with actual knowledge on this, so leave the planning. To. Me.

Jonas: You know I’m registered as the Team Manager on the form, so I have to submit the time sheet, as well as handle other parts of the team.

Roy: WHAT, why did you leave the managing to ME!

Jonas: Don’t worry about it, you can’t be the marked as the Lead Driver and the Team Manager on the form. He smirked So let me do that managing and you do the driver, you’ll get to start and finish the race as the lead anyway, plus get slightly more hours in the car. And I’ll always touch base with you guys before making a decision.

Roy: Oh, wow, ok, thanks, I guess.

Edward: So, about the car Roy, I ran some preliminary checks on the performance before it got shipped off, it seems alright but there are some things I need to warn you about ok?

He proceeds to list off the cars faults. (Found in the car specs section of the Entrant post)

Roy: Geez, not good, any of them you can fix?

Edward: Not right now, but I’ll have another look once we are in Sweden with the car again, we will have time at the track. We are going to be a day early because of our long flight. Might be able to find a quick fix for that airflow issue, either that or that brake issue. Not sure if I can though, both require a full assembly rebuild with how old it is…

The team discusses other forms of strategy along the drive, such as pit stops, replacing parts, and finalizing the time sheet, nearly at the airport, ready for their 7 hour flight.

[06DPA]

Act 1: The cat and the 10mm scoket

While Rasmus and Harald were making the final adjustments to the car, a cat came into the garage. The crew let it be, even gave it some pets. The cat decided to play with the 10mm socket, and as a result lost it somewhere. The Ek family luckily brought about 20 spares due to its loss being a common occurence, so it’s not a big problem. Other than that, everything seems to be going well. The racing seat is now in the car with both original seats out, ready for the first test drive.

[Danicoptero]

I think you missed me, I sent you the car and made a post

[Knugcab]

Yes, I somehow missed to add you to the list since I have downloaded your entry. Sorry.

[SurrealCereal]

MCP - CR23 - PART 2: TEST DAY

Ah, the test drive. The final, mandatory step in any car’s life cycle prior to being unleashed into the world. The one step Giacomo had not taken personally in some 20 odd years, which is another issue that would need to be resolved before the race, and the one step that would justify tearing apart Granny Scarfiotti’s grocery getter for the race. And by god, did Giacomo need to justify it. While Alessio had initially agreed to help with the building process, assuming Giacomo had just taken an old unsold Vittorio out to the shop and turned it into a racecar for fun, he had quickly caught on to the fact that his wife would go without her favorite grocery getter for the time being, and after the resulting verbal lashing at the hands of his father, Giacomo found himself completely deflated of his usual confidence and bravado.

This became readily apparent around 3 minutes into the test, held at the high tech (geniunely so, as Giacomo is insanely rich after all) MCP test facility, where Giacomo had yet to breach 30 miles an hour on the 2.4 mile long course. From the pitwall Hikiko, Johnny, and Ryouchi oversaw the sad sight that was Giacomo piddling around at speeds his mother would find dangerous, sighing extraordinarily loudly into the radio as he did so. The trio found themselves faced with the perilous task of getting Giacomo his admittedly abundant self-confidence back. Now, normally this task would prove to be easy, as literally nodding and giving Giacomo a thumbs up was often enough to convince the man to go for nearly anything, This instance proved especially difficult owing to Giacomo holding similar levels of reverence for his father that he held Italian legends such as Enzo Ferrari and Alberto Ascari. A lashing out from his father was worse than actually dying to Giacomo, and he looked very much dead as he piddled around. First to the plate was Ryouchi, who fastened his headset before trying to motivate his boss for the umpteenth time.

Ryouchi cleared his throat as he spoke, an uneasiness permeating his voice. Sweat slowly beginning to form on his brow, as he prepared for what was probably his hardest job since “Ah… Giacomo, you can do it… Come on, press the gas pedal." Giacomo responded with a deep sigh. Ryouchi’s sweat formed a stream down his forehead as he tried again, with even less confidence this time. "We’re all, um, counting on you?” An even deeper sigh came through the other end of the radio, signaling yet another failure to get Giacomo to return to the land of the living. Hikiko shook her head, calling Giacomo to the pits over the radio. The only response was another sigh, which resulted in Hikiko completely tearing the radio out of the wall.

As Giacomo slowly pulled in and limped out of the car (his karting accident had only been a few weeks ago), Johnny was next to try the Vittorio, nearly diving headfirst into the passenger side door with how fiercly he stepped in. After a few awkward moments of trying to fix his postion and get seated properly, Johnny peeled out of the pits and was looking set for a record time, until the most glaring issue of the car reared its head: it had the structural stability of an amoeba cell. When Johnny hit the curb of turn one as hard has he could, as he was known to do, His entire suspension assembly effectively exploded. Bushings were everywhere, knuckles were reduced to nubs, and the springs on the right front flew off into the distance, landing in the distant ocean, to be eaten by a shark or whale of some kind. Despite that, Johnny still managed to get the car around the track by yanking the handbrake, and by the end of his run came into the pits with that, too, torn to shreds.

After Johnny pulled into the pits, he handed the handbrake lever, and a small collection of assorted nuts and bolts that had fallen on him during the run, to a very disappointed Hikiko, who set forth assembling the avengers of MCP to get to work repairing the effectively totaled shitbox. Luckily for MCP, they were equipped with the mechanics of all time:

Jimmy.

Leeroy.

And Nathaniel.

With such an elite and powerful team of AMERICAN PATRIOTS (these were the only people willing to work on a car on such short notice) The car was sure to be spic and span in no time!

And so it was. The Vittorio was back in working order after about a week of work and 30k in repair bills (deducted as a tax write-off by Giacomo later). By then, they had time for effectively 30 minutes of running from Ryouchi, who promptly made the exact same mistake Johnny did, and wound up having the car sent to Sweden on a stripped out, barely function airplane with the parts bin and mechanics unsecured in the back, with the team hoping they would be able to get the car in at least driveable condition by the time the plane landed.

Initially, Giacomo planned to fly to Sweden this way, his two experiences in shitbox rallies seemingly having numbed him to the idea of comfort, before Hikiko pointed to the first class tickets she’d purchased weeks in advance (the only part of the project that was seemingly ahead of schedule), and Giacomo folded within less than a second.

And so, they were off to Sweden, with apparently the only issue with the car being that Nathaniel had barrel rolled the plane, further complicating the repair-job, MCP was apparently off to a good start for their first 24h of clunkers. After landing in Sweden, and realizing the roads here are actually driver friendly (a foreign concept to most Americans) Giacomo was able to get some experience in driving their rental cars to Holjes. Though they got lost approximately 7 times, and Giacomo had to be reminded of the correct driving lane, the crew of Giacomo, Ryu, Johnny, Koharu, Hikiko, Alessio and Giacomo’s mom did eventually arrive at Holjes with a decent amount of time to spare. Good job, guys!

MCP - CR23 - PART 2: TEST DAY - FIN

[Restomod]

Team Men of Wheels

Backstory

Men of Wheels was an, ahem British automotive show that has been running continually since 1995, though with a hiatus from 2011 to 2015. It was originally made up of Samson “The Man” McCornick and Thomas Kilgore, both acclaimed journalists, and a young Roland Blanton who was a bit of a wildcard. Blanton left after the first season, and McCornick was replaced by Bob O’Hare, an aging journalism giant who had been the cheif editor of a high-profile car magazine for over 15 years, after the 4th season. Season 1 was the most popular of the originals, with seasons 3-6 being also very popular. Season 7 was a wash, and with Kilgore offered a job at Driver and Car, and O’Hare retiring, the duo were replaced by Roland Blanton and the 40-year old journalist Henry Gaurd for the 2002 Season 8. Their comedic and self-deprecating format helped skyrocket the popularity, and they were soon joined by Broderick Johnson-Hess. The thoroughly British trio became loved by car enthusiasts around the world. In 2011 the British parliament ordered the broadcasters to kill it off because of a three-part special mocking the British high-class, after which the broadcaster decided not to fight in court but rather drop the show. In 2016 the show relocated to Amsterdam after a new broadcaster co-bought the rights to the show alongside a streaming service.

Fast forward to late 2021. After watching clips of Trafikjournalen’s 24h Clunkers, Johnson-Hess got the idea to do a 24h Clunker Special. Plans were made, which were toppled in march 2022 when Gaurd found himself in legal trouble after urinating on Angela Merkel’s car and then breaking into her house and drunkenly wrestling the dog and then urinating on the dog to assert dominance after it beat him in the wrestling match. Blanton and Johnson-Hess found themselves in a tight situation, and made no public statements or appearances nor discussed the matter with anyone. Their efforts were fruitless as the show was dropped two months after the “scandal” and Johnson-Hess and Blanton were formally fired and were threatned to be blacklisted. They then attempted to buy the rights to the show back, but after they were refused. They then sued the companies for wrongful termination and settled for the rights to the show’s name and intellectual property. The crew and producers then quit to join them.

Men of Wheels is now a Youtube channel, and they have resorted to a more layed-back approach, with car reviews, short series (such as one where Blanton and his son-in-law do a road trip across Australia), and vlogs. The 24h Clunkers will be their first formal special on Youtube.

It started out with each man picking a vehicle, as normal, but now they had to decide on one. Blanton brought a Knightwick S-Roadster Sprint in good exterior condition but with a sketchy clutch and significant chassis rust. Johnson-Hess bought a somewhat rusty but pretty good (for a French car in Sweden) TDF Pax Super 1.1i. The crash test dummy labelled Henry was at their meeting site with a 200hp Caterham-ripoff kit car. Perry Ross, the new head of the camera crew who was stepping in as a driver for the race was there with a mint IP Brigadier DX manual. They heaved Henry into the passenger seat of the Puma and then they headed into town to run some tests to decide who’s car would be the ultimate contender.

Roland Harold Blanton

51 years old and 5’4". Roland is a bit of a wildcard, even in his age. He was the youngest and most energetic of the original trio and has a knack for crashing. He has a 1982 Lance SCE Turbo, a 1984 Bravo Verbato V8, a 2020 Llud Elene, a 1967 CEAL Noble, and a 1967 Mons Astral C as well as a plethora of motorcycles and older British cars.

Broderick Houghton Johnson-Hess

62 years young and 5’10". A sensible man, who loves nature, books, and old luxury cars. A very skilled, if a bit cautious driver who is mocked for his age and apparent lack of masculinity by his peers, but silences them with his incredibly good cooking. Owns a 2008 WM Wolford 5.5, a 2020 Primus Stratum GT, a 2021 AYSA ME85, a 1972 Voss 3500CSi, a 2005 AVION Kronos Strada 3.4, and every beaten up old luxury car he can find.

Perry Weston Ross

With 47 years of age, Perry is a sensical, no-nonsense 5’8" bugger. He is the head of the camera crew, who are also sometimes the pit crew (but don’t tell the refs). He doesn’t really care about what you think because he knows what he is good at and he is darn good at it. He has a 2023 Holts HCU 30 and a 1981 IP Pandora GTX.

The Car

The 1986 TDF Pax 1.1i 5-door! As I said it is in pretty good condition for a French car in Sweden. A bit of rust, the engine doesn’t pull as hard as it should, and the gearbox is a bit…off.

Ross: What are we calling it?
J-H: Le Poision. The fish.*
Blanton: That Le Poisson. He’s called his car poison! [laughs]
J-H: It’s our car!

*this will be explained, as will the other…er…features

to be continued…

[Djadania]

I read that as “Three men on wheels”
Turns out that works too.

[Restomod]

Once they’re dead thst would be a great name for a Men of Wheels documentary.

[ChemaTheMexican]

idk roland seems like a pretty cool guy with great taste, im definitely not biased btw

[Knugcab]

TRAFIKJOURNALEN WEB
SEPTEMBER 2023

Remember the IP Rubiq we bought a while ago? Well, since it would be a financial disaster to get it roadworthy again, we have now prepared it for what we guess will be its last ride - the 24h of clunkers.

So, in about a month, we guess the rather flat panels on this ride will instead have all different kinds of shapes. If the blue-smoking engine will survive, that is.

Over 20 other teams are invited, including some with rather huge cars, so it’s an interesting question how well this little box will survive some bashing on the track. Especially considering that it had to be…eh…a bit patched up.

[Knugcab]

OK, I think I have the game mechanics more or less sorted out now, entries collected, you will get some days for pre-race RP still, but better not delay it too much, this challenge will soon take off with a blast if everything goes as intended.